Forever White Knight
by Dana Short
Summary: My twist on YAHC. Familiarity with the episode Halloween recommended, as I skip most of the canon events, focusing on the divergences.
1. Chapter 1 Helloween Knight

Forever White Knight By Dana Short

Notes: Don't blame Nick Midian - although a bit of the idea springs from his stories of Xander as an Immortal/Vampire hybrid... And don't blame MacXavier either, although his stories of Jenny Ryan, and her becoming a living vampire/pre-immortal hybrid in his Wishes Arc of stories was also a source I drew upon for inspiration. One should certainly not blame the actual creators of the universes I "borrowed" to both set my character in, nor should they blame those to whom they may have later been sold (the actual current owners), be the universe that of Buffy, in which I wrote, or the Highlander and Forever Knight universes from which I drew mythos (but not Methos.) for my story. No any blame should fall, along with any flames or beatific complements upon my own head. But if it's really bad, blame the fact that it was written at 4:00am on a night to hot to sleep, even with fans and the Air Conditioner running. So, here it is, the result of a night in the 90's... My own take on an alternate Halloween story, and it's aftereffects. There will be sequels. I think I like the situation I have created. I hope that those of you who read this enjoy it.

---Cut here to detach actual story from stupid disclaimer.---

Chapter 1 "Helloween Knight"

Xander passed through Ethan's Costume Shop, watching out of the corner of his eye as Buffy and Willow spoke to the British sounding owner about some frilly old fashioned dress.

He was looking for a toy rifle, one he could add to his already acquired military uniform, to complete his costume and remain below his $5 budget. 

But it was the plastic sword which caught his eye. He had already noted the distinct lack of rifles throughout the store, and at the same time, the over abundance of pirate outfits. But a pirate would never do. However, the sword... It had some possibilities.

Next day, at Casa Summers...

Xander approached the front door, clothed in a long gray peacoat, unbuttoned to show off the white dress shirt and black slacks he was wearing beneath it, and the sword sewn into the lining of the coat.

Stepping onto the porch, he knocked on the door, and waited for Joyce, the Slayer's mother to open it. "Xander," she greeted, smiling as she opened the door wider, "Please come in. Buffy and Willow are still upstairs getting ready."

"Mrs. Summers, I know you don't understand, but please, you can't invite anybody in after dark in this town. Please, it is a firm tradition. Just open the door, smile, wave your hand, and step back. If we can't step in, then leave us out side, never say 'Come In' or anything similar after dark - it's bad luck." Xander answered as he followed the woman who was rapidly becoming a mother figure to himself into the house.

"Xander, I'm sorry. Willow's told me the same thing once or twice. But it seems so silly. As well as rude, not to invite someone in."

"Please, try. It just freaks me out to think of you inviting bad luck into your house. After all, you are rare, at least in my experience, a Mother worthy of her title. And I'd hate for anything to ever happen to you."

"Ok, Xander, ok," the woman said, shaking her head at the odd behavior of her daughter's friends since moving to this town. "So, what are you dressed as?"

Xander opened his coat a bit and gestured at his sword, "An Immortal from that Highlander series. You know, 'In the end, there can be only one'?"

"Oh, I like that show. The guy who plays Duncan, well, I certainly wouldn't hesitate if he asked me out for Coffee, if you know what I mean." Joyce said, her face lighting up, "So, who are you supposed to be, anyone I would know?"

"Nah, just a standard ancient Immortal, perhaps a shaman who has learned to use his quickening to power spells or some such, so as to stay mostly out of the game for the last several thousand years or so. One who died young, or else, one who has the ability to alter his apparent age through the use of Magic, so as to live longer in one place instead of moving around all the time. I guess, who goes by the name of 'Alexander'."

Joyce laughed, and said, "Well that is certainly original. I remember a witch called Cassandra, so I suppose a warlock or a wizard isn't too unacceptable from the premise of the show."

"Yeah. I hope not. Not that there should be a test on this or anything later." Xander said, taking a seat on the couch to wait for his friends to finish getting ready.

Elsewhere...

Drucilla spun around the room dancing with her doll. "Mrs. Edith says that my Kitten will get all sparkly tonight. And the bad Slayer will go away to be replaced by another, while her best friend will become a ghost who haunts the night. Isn't it going to be a fun party Spike?"

Spike listened to what his lover said, then perked up, "The slayer you say, and her friend will get offed?" Oohh, this is too good for me to miss. I think I'll go out and have a look see then, why don't I?"

As spike headed for the door, Drucilla said, "What a fun party this will be. I hope no one pokes my Spikey."

As they walked towards the school, Xander caught sight of a familiar platinum blonde visage heading up a side street away from them. This caused him to nudge Buffy, and ask her, "Uh, Buff, you did remember to bring some stakes with you tonight, didn't you?"

Buffy rolled her eyes at him, and replied, "No, Xander, I didn't. Giles said that the evil takes tonight off, so why would I bother?"

Xander pointed down the street just as Spike passed under a street light before turning the corner at the other end of the block and vanishing from view, before replying, "Perhaps Evil Billy Idol didn't get the memo?"

Buffy was suddenly struck by a worried expression, before Xander reached into his coat, and pulled his own stake from an inside pocket, opposite the fake sword sewn on to the lining. "Here, take mine. If any one asks, you are Princess Elizabeth, Vampire Slayer Extraordinaire, and fairest lady of the realm."

Willow giggled as Buffy smiled back at him, and said, "Thanks Xander. I should have realized that just because they don't traditionally cause trouble on Halloween it doesn't mean that they cower and hide in their coffins all night long. I'd hate to have a chance to stake Spike, and have to let him go just because I had nothing with which to impale him."

"No problem Buffster. I still have my cross, and if I have to I can scream like a girl for you to come and rescue me. My fair princess will come and rescue me if I scream like a girl won't she?"

Buffy nodded her head with a grin, then a frown crossed her features as she tucked the steak down her top somewhere, "I thought you didn't want me to come rescue you if you were in trouble?"

Xander shook his head, "No, if I scream like a girl, I want you to come rescue me. If I am yelling like a man, or just getting my head pounded by a normal thug like Larry, that's when I don't want you to rescue me. Trust me, if I am willing to scream like a girl to get your attention, I am more than willing to have my princess rescue me and carry me off on her white horse to her castle."

Buffy and Willow laughed at this, before Buffy pointed out, "Uh, Xander, you do know that I don't have a horse, or a castle right? So there will be no riding involved, anywhere at any time, right?"

"Ah, but that's only in this reality. There may well be lots of riding in my dreams. Alas, though, only in my dreams." With that the group resumed their trek to the school to be assigned their packs of munchkins for the evening.

As Xander lead his crew of candy grubbers down one last street, he could see Willow and Buffy with their own groups both ahead and behind him, respectively. Unbeknownst to him, at that very moment, Ethan was in his shop preparing his spell, and as the magic swept out from it throughout the town, it brought several changes in its wake. 

As it swept up the street on which he stood, Buffy indeed became Lady Elizabeth, Slayer Extraordinaire, and his lifetime friend Willow, watched in horror as her body fell dead to the ground at her own feet, leaving her as nothing more than a ghost, dressed in the very revealing costume Buffy had tried to convince her to wear that evening.

For his own part, Xander was replaced with the persona he had made up for himself, that of the 4,000 year old Immortal Alexander, once a king and a General, once a Shaman and a priest, once a practitioner of the arcane arts, and lately retired from The Game, after having learned a way to alter his appearance, and to suppress the emissions of his quickening, so that no other Immortals could detect and challenge him for the right to his head.

Alexander looked at the miniature monsters which chased the children around him, causing widespread panic. Looking around further, he saw the same scene repeated up and down the street. Swiftly drawing his sword, he prepared to strike one of the miniature terrors down when a nearby scream stopped him. "Xander, no!"

Looking up, he saw a young redhead running at him through the groups of children and monsters. Literally, as her body passed through theirs on her way to him. "They are just kids, all of them, somehow they've become their costumes." She tried to explain, coming to a stop before him.

Alexander looked again at the children, and could see that there was indeed some sort of spell at work, some type of arcane energy surrounding many of the small forms in the area. And none of them seemed to be actually hurting one another, at least not at the moment, being more content to terrorize their fellows and watch them run in panic.

Looking back at the insubstantial girl before him, he asked, "Do I know you, Miss?"

The young woman's face looked crestfallen, and she asked, "Xander, don't you remember me?"

Shaking his head, he replied, "My name is Alexander, Miss, and no, I don't recall ever seeing you before. Are you sure we've met? I will take your word for it for the moment, as I have no idea where we are even, let alone how I got here. So obviously I am having a problem with my memory. So, who are you, and where are we?"

The redhead frowned for a moment, before answering, "I'm Willow, and you are Xander, my best friend since, well, forever, and we live here, in our hometown, called Sunnydale, California."

Alexander looked at her, and asked, "Silicon Valley?"

She shook her head, and replied, "No, more like the Mouth of Hell. Sunnydale is closer to Los Angeles, whereas Sunnyvale is near San Francisco."

Nodding his head, Alexander looked around, and replied, "So there is some sort of spell over the town, and it is affecting my memory, and changing the children into monsters?"

Willow looked over her shoulder, and called out "Oh, Buffy! She can help. She's she Slayer."

Alexander looked where she was pointing, at a brunette dressed right out of the Elizabethan era who was looking around the street in obvious confusion while brandishing a wooden stake in her hand.

Trying to grab his hand, but instead passing her own right through his, she called out, "Come on" before running off towards the other woman.

Lacking any better plan at the moment, Alexander followed the ghost, and approached the obviously confused young woman. "Miss?" he called out.

Spinning towards him with her stake raised, the woman said "Stop right there. Who are you and what are you doing, and what is going on here?" she demanded.

Willow refused to listen to her, instead darting at her with her arms outstretched, calling "Buffy!"

As she came within range, the brunette's hand shot out with the stake, passing right through the torso of the redheaded specter.

"A Ghost! I will have to find my Watcher to deal with you." She cried.

Willow's face looked crestfallen as she said, "Buffy? Not you too?"

The brunette woman looked at her in annoyance, and replied, "The name is Elizabeth. Princess Elizabeth for a commoner such as yourself, should you even deign to address me. Not 'Buffy'"

Alexander chose this moment to interject, "Uh, Princess Elizabeth, I take it from your first statement that you have as little idea what is going on here as I do, correct?"

At that moment, she whirled around and threw her stake into the headlamp of an approaching car, shattering the glass, and calling out, "A demon!"

Alexander shook his head and explained, "That's not a demon. It's a car, an automobile."

As the car's owner stomped on the gas and screeched off down the street the self proclaimed brunette princess asked, "Well, what does it want?"

Bending down to retrieve the wooden stake from the glass debris on the street, Alexander replied, "Probably to get as far away from you as possible. A desire I can suddenly sympathize with." As he said that, he tossed the stake back at the confused young lady, he gestured towards the red headed ghost, saying, "She seems to think she knows what's going on, perhaps she knows where this Watcher of yours is. If so, good for her, but I've been avoiding the Watchers for a good long time, and have no intention of being seen by any of them if I can avoid it, so I will bid the two of you a good evening."

So saying he turned in the same direction the car had headed, and jogged up the street, away from the chaos in the immediate vicinity. Hearing a scream he turned a corner and ran in its direction. Not necessarily the wisest thing to do, but after over 4,000 years of protecting others, it was so basic to his nature that he no longer even thought about it anymore. Running towards trouble was an ingrained response, as much as one of Pavlov's dogs salivating at the sound of the bell.

The 2,000 year old Master Vampire Lucien LaCroix was flying above the strange small town he had found himself in a short while ago.

He had suddenly come to his awareness in the middle of a street filled with children and miniature versions of monsters worthy of a horror film.

The last coherent memory he had was of getting drunk in his apartments above The Raven, the bar in Toronto he had purchased from his daughter to be near his favorite Childe, Nichola.

He had recently followed that Childe's wishes, and after over 800 years together, had destroyed him. His golden one, the light in his darkness.

And now he was here. In some small town surrounded by tiny creatures from mortal man's nightmares. It made no sense. Add to that the fact that he felt a long time had passed, even though he could not remember it.

And this place, it felt, powerful. He had never felt such a sensation before, it was like something in the air called to the darkest part of his soul.

So far, all he had done was take to the sky to survey the area, trying to figure out what was going on.

A scream from almost immediately below drew his attention, and he silently landed on a nearby rooftop and looked down to take in the situation.

Alexander ran into the alley from which the scream ad emerged. The sight before him was of a human woman dressed in some sort of a cat costume being ravaged by some sort of full sized monster.

Unlike the child sized creature he had been seeing all evening, this one was larger than himself, heavily muscled, and had already literally taken a bite out of it's intended victim.

The sight of her bleeding arm and terrified face decided him, even if it was a normal human trapped by a spell, in this case it was posing a mortal danger to another human, and his inbuilt urge to protect the innocent drove him forward into battle.

Raising his sword, he called out, "Hey Chewbacka, why don't you try me instead,. and leave the pretty kitty alone?"

The monster turned towards him and growled, while the woman screamed, "Xander, thank god! Jojo the dog faced boy thinks he should have me for dinner, and not in a nice way.!"

"Lady, if I was you, I'd run back that way," Alexander said, gesturing over his shoulder, "and accompany the Princess Slayer and the Hooker Ghost to the Watcher. Oh, and if you see any flying monkeys or green witches, run. I'll take care of your little dog Toto here for you."

With that, he put the bleeding woman out of his mind, and instead concentrated on the rabid Big Foot wannabe which stood growling in front of him.

Trying to disable rather than maim or kill, on the off chance that this was still just another person, albeit full sized, trapped in their costume, he moved in and sliced at the lower leg of the beast.

His blade cut deeply, opening a bleeding slash, which took the beast down momentarily.

But even as he watched, the blood flow stopped, and the monster rebounded to it's feet, and attacked with renewed ferocity.

Another slash at it's legs once more took it down, and this time, he used the brief respite to examine his opponent in a more mystical light.

While the creature was certainly of a magical inclination, he couldn't see any of that overlaying spell like effect he had detected previously on the mini monsters. He was suddenly startled out of his examination as the beast bit into his own leg, toppling him to the blood splattered concrete with a howl of pain of his own.

A quick kick at the monster while he waited for his Quickening to kick in and start healing his leg, he decided he couldn't afford to play nice with the whatever it was any more. 

He rolled out of the way of another lunge from the beast as he struggled to his feet, his weight all held on his one uninjured leg, before he tried a thrusting stab at the lunging beast.

His stab missed, the beast weaving with unsuspected intelligence from his action, and it's claws gored his stomach in a fatal injury.

Recovering his momentum, he pushed back at the monster with his free arm, and brought the sword around for a final, decapitating swing, which took the head off the beast, and finally put it down.

He then dropped his sword with a dull clank and sunk to the ground in a wave of pain, and waited to die so he could start healing and get out of this crazy place.

LaCroix watched the odd confrontation below him, as the human with the sword stopped the hairy bear like creature from snacking on the girl in the costume, and sent her back the way he had come, before facing the beast in an effort to gain her time to escape.

He was puzzled by the man's initial actions, trying to wound rather than kill the slobbering beast before him, and seeming to examine it for something.

He watched as the man's lack of attention cost him dearly, first with a damaging wound to his own leg, then after regaining his footing, he tried to simply stab the beast, but it's last moment dodge allowed it to penetrate the swordsman's defenses, and tear out his stomach in a soon to be fatal wound.

But not to die alone, he managed with a final blow to decapitate his oponent.

And at the same time, he managed to draw LaCroix's interest.

With that, LaCroix stepped off the edge of the building, and flew to the bloody ground of the alley.

As LaCroix bent over the form of the fallen warrior he reached out with his mind, and using all 2,000 years of his experience, snagged the mind of the human before him in a soft, but iron grip.

Lifting the sword from the ground, he casually held it at the neck of the boy, unconsciously providing a threat to the Immortal's existence far greater than the mortal wound in his stomach.

"What is your name?" LaCroix asked the fallen form before him.

Alexander looked up at the figure standing in front of him, and answered in a thready voice, "Alexander."

"Tell me, Alexander, do you wish to live?" LaCroix asked, subtly increasing the pressure of the blade against the boy's neck without even thinking about it.

Alexander struggled against his fading consciousness as his body died from blood loss, and answered, "Yes."

LaCroix immediately lifted away the sword from the ground, and in a quick motion used it to slice his wrist, cutting through the artery. Increasing his hold on the fading mind before him, he knelt down and proffered the bleeding appendage to the boy's mouth, "Then drink, Alexander. Drink, and live forever." He commanded, his willpower forcing the man to obey his command.

As Alexander's body began to swallow the blood pouring into his throat in large gulps, LaCroix bent his head to the dying man's neck and bit down, releasing a torrent of the dying man's blood into his own mouth. As he did so, he came across some sort of prison in the young man's mind. It seemed to the vampire to be cage, one which held great power and potential, and which was buried not just under the subconscious, but even deeper than that. Without a thought, the Ancient being shattered it's bars, allowing it free to flood the mind and body of boy before him with the heretofore hidden power, even as the boy breathed his last breath, and died, his blood surging with one last pulse, before stilling into a relatively slow trickle of a dead body.

LaCroix stood up and stepped back from the body of his soon to be childe, amazed at what he felt from those few moments when he was totally connected to the dying young man.

He had felt age. Great age, more than twice his own. Which made no sense at all, for the boy was obviously a Human. He had also felt that strange source of power, the buried whatever in it's cage which he had freed in those last moments. And he had felt the true flavor of mind of the boy before he died. A mind which truly lived up to it's name, as a Protector of Man. This one would be even more so the Knight than his beloved Nichola had been, willingly throwing himself into harms way if it might protect another. But if that hidden wellspring of strength and violence he had sensed and freed in those last moments were to survive the turning, what a Vampire he would make.

LaCroix sat on a nearby crate and awaited the rising of his newest Childe.

Deep within the boy's body, forces were at work. The cage the Ancient Vampire had shattered in the last moments had held the primal Hyena essence, which had once possessed Xander the previous year. And even as he died, that essence had once again been given free reign over Alexander's body, sharpening his senses, enhancing his reflexes, and strengthening his then dying muscles. And then he had died, and the Vampire blood he had recently consumed began to do it's work. The vampiric essence from the fictional Forever Knight universe worked almost like a virus, spreading from the blood in the boy's throat and stomach, and changing the cells wherever it went, imbuing them with a mystical something, and making them stronger. His already muscles, already enhanced by the Hyena essence, were strengthened again, and his already sharp senses were further heightened. As the changes continued throughout his body, another force was also at work, as the Quickening imbued to the body through Ethan's spell worked to repair the damage to his stomach, and return his body to life. And as these two essences, one of life and the other of undeath, met, they combined, and became something else. And then the impossible happened. Alexander awoke. And a few moments later, came back to life.

LaCroix watched as his newest child opened his eyes. The eyes swiftly changed from their normal chocolate brown to a glowing yellow as his fangs extended.

His newest Childe sat up and looked around, his glowing eyes fixating on his Sire's seated form. Then he screamed, and LaCroix watched in awe as the eyes changed to a silver color, and his heart began to beat once more. With a lunge, his Childe sprung to his feet and threw himself at his Sire, swiftly overpowering the Ancient vampire, and attaching his mouth to the elder's neck. And he began to drink. And as he drank, LaCroix could feel his Childe in his mind. The strength of this one was unheard of, as he casually drank in all of LaCroix's essence, as easily as one of his kind would feast from a Mortal.

Alexander's first experience upon awakening was hunger. No, make that Hunger. A part of him realized he had been turned by a Vampire, a creature of myth as far as his 4,000 years of experience told him, a being as fictional as the demon he had fought and killed shortly before his most recent death.

As he sat up, he could smell a source of blood. Of food. And before he had consciously thought about it, he had moved, covering the distance between the two of them, and attacking the other in an instinctive attempt to feed.

And then, even as the oddly cold liquid poured down his throat, he found his mind devouring the mind of his victim as much as his body was consuming it's blood.

Every thought, every experience, that the being known as Lucien LaCroix had ever had was flowing into Alexander's mind. All two thousand years of it. 

As swiftly as it had come upon him, the hunger was suddenly sated, and Alexander cast aside the body of the Vampire upon which he had been feasting. He looked down in revulsion at his actions at the slowly moving form before him as it held a hand to it's neck and backed away from him in obvious fright at the actions of it's creation.

Without a second thought, Alexander leapt into the air, and flew away, somehow having learned the control over this new skill from his victim's mind, along with all the other new memories now swirling around in his head.

LaCroix watched as his Childe cast him aside, before leaping into the sky and flying away faster than any normal vampire should be able to. "What have I created?" he wondered, as he laid back against the ground to recover from the attack of his newly risen Childe. In all his experience he had never heard of a vampire who was born with such power already, nor had he ever heard of one with a heartbeat, and his Childe certainly had had that. He had both heard it, and felt it, along with the obvious body heat of a still living being whilst he was being drained both physically and mentally. Laying back and looking up at the now empty sky, LaCroix decided that perhaps he should find a room somewhere and rest, and wait for tomorrow night before he made any more plans or took any more actions. Wherever he was, it was not at all like his home, first the creatures such as the one his recent Childe had been injured killing, and then newly arisen vampires who attack their own sires instead of seeking Mortals off which to feed. All in all it was very unsettling. Very unsettling indeed.

Alexander flew above the rooftops of Sunnydale, his mind in a turmoil. He had done quite a bit in his 4,000 years of existence. He had witnessed the rise of civilizations, heck, he had guided the rise of civilizations, and had lead armies to conquer foreign lands filled with barbarians, all in the name of spreading the civilization to which he had grown so accustomed. He had learned, and had practiced magics, spoken with Spirits, and then, earlier this evening, fought with and killed a genuine Demon. He had fought and survived more Immortals than he wanted to contemplate, before he learned how to hide his essence from the others, allowing him to withdraw himself from the Game. And now, he was flying. Not in a plane as he had grown used to over the past 60 or so years, but unaided, by the strength of his will alone. And below him, he could see literally everything. His eyesight was so sharp that from this height he could easily make out details which he would have previously been hard pressed to see were he standing on the ground. The town below him was in chaos, literally. Monsters were rampaging on the streets, fighting one another, and threatening those few normal humans who were not yet safely hidden in a house somewhere. Here and there, fires were burning, and the occasional Emergency Service vehicle could be seen trying to respond to one or another of the several calls obviously being issued from the frantic citizens below. And here he floated in the air, like some sort of Superman clone. To say the concept and experience was surreal would be an understatement. Nothing in his very long lifetime had prepared him for such an experience. Spotting the flat roof of one of the many shops below, he allowed his body to drift down until he landed with a soft crunch of the gravel below his feet.

He then sat himself down upon the roof, and wrapped his arms around his legs, pulling his body into a hunched over ball, as the thoughts continued to swirl through his head.

He was now a Vampire. An evil undead creature. From what the memories of his Sire told him, he would now be burned by holy icons, unable to tolerate any real food, have a true allergy to garlic, or any splinters of wood, and would be severely burned if exposed to the sun. On the other hand, despite these things, he would certainly be hard to kill. He could easily remember a time when his Sire had been stabbed right in his cold, undead heart by a stake wielded by his Childe Nichola. And another memory, one of particular note to the Immortal, was of the death of his Sire's Sire/daughter Divia. She had been beheaded, an act all Immortals know will be final. And yet, she returned from that as well.

It was as he was contemplating what that may mean for himself were he ever dragged back into the Game, and lost a fight, when he noticed the object being crushed into his chest by his knees. Releasing his legs, and reaching into his shirt, he brought out the large wooden cross in his hand, and looked at it with wonder. LaCroix memories told him he should be in great pain from the object. But all he could feel from his hand was the texture of the wood, and the steady thrum of his blood as it pumped in time with his pulse. His pulse. His other hand returned inside his shirt to lay against the warm skin of his chest, where it felt his heart beating steadily in his chest. Whatever he was, he certainly was not dead. Or Undead. As he was contemplating this, the voices coming from within the building below him finally registered, and he mentally reviewed the words he had heard but not consciously listened to ever since he had landed on the roof.

The first voice he had heard was that of some British man, calling out "Hello! Anyone home?"

Next, had come a familiar voice, belonging as he recalled to that ghost, Willow, who was supposedly his 'Best friend since forever', questioning, "Giles?"

And the British voice, supposedly belonging to someone named Guiles, had replied, "Janus. Roman mythical god."

Willow had then asked the older man, "What does this mean?"

To which Giles had replied, explaining to her, "Primarily the division of self. Male and female, light and dark."

At that point, a new voice, also with a British accent had intruded, saying "Chunky and creamy. Oh, no, sorry, that's peanut butter."

Then the supposed Guiles, ordered, "Willow, get out of here, now."

Willow had protested, saying "But", however she was cut off with a stern "Now!" from Giles.

Giles then addressed the newest voice, saying "Hello, Ethan."

And the smarmy reply came back, "Hello, Ripper" followed a few moments later with "What? No hug? Aren't you pleased to see your old mate, Rupert?"

The Rupert/Ripper/Giles guy, finally replied saying "I'm just surprised I didn't guess it was you. This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne."

And it was at this point that Alexander's attention had been drawn. He now listened as Ethan replied to the supposed Watcher's voice with "Yes, it does, doesn't it? Don't wish to blow my own trumpet, but it's genius. The very embodiment of 'be careful what you wish for'."

The man, who seemed to have so many names, but who he had first tagged as Giles replied angrily, "It's sick, brutal, and it harms the innocent."

The man identified thus far as Ethan came back with, "Oh, and we all know that you are the champion of innocents and all things pure and good, Rupert. It's quite a little act you've got going here, old man."

As Alexander stepped off the roof, and used his new abilities to silently drift down to the street, Giles replied "It's no act. It's who I am."

Alexander slowly approached the door, moving with total silence, as Ethan snarled back, "Who you are? The Watcher, sniveling, tweed-clad guardian of the Slayer and her kin? I think not. I know who you are, Rupert, and I know what you're capable of. But they don't, do they? They have no idea where you come from."

Giles snarled "Break the spell, Ethan. Then leave this place and never come back." to Ethan as Alexander stepped into the room.

Alexander looked around, taking in what appeared to be a costume shop, and the two faced bust of Janus, with the glowing eyes in the rear, as Ethan replied, "Why should I? What's in the bargain for me?"

Giles stepped closer to the other man, and snarled threateningly, "You get to live."

Alexander started silently closing the distance between the two, unnoticed by either party, as Ethan sarcastically answered back, "Oh, Rupert, you're scaring me."

In reply, Giles silently punched Ethan in the stomach, doubling him over, and causing him to gasp out, "And you said the Ripper was long gone."

Giles only growled menacingly, "Tell me how to stop the spell." in reply.

Ethan's only answer was a sarcastic "Say 'pretty please'."

To which Alexander responded, with all the menace he could insert into his voice, "Pretty Please?"

Both men looked up at him in shock, Giles, saying "Xander, what are you doing here?"

"Apparently, making this ponse tell us how to end the spell," Alexander responded, stepping past Giles and into Ethan's personal space.

As he did so, he reached out with his mind, synchronizing his thoughts to those of the man before him. With a slow, methodical voice, he asked, "How do I stop the spell?"

In an almost trance like state, Ethan responded, "The bust. Break the bust."

With that, Alexander stepped away from both men, releasing his mental hold on Ethan, and lifted the two faced head off it's pedestal.

As the Immortal Vampire Hyena hybrid lifted the bust off the alter, Janus looked into the core of the being he saw, and he was pleased. This was a being which embodied the very essence of Chaos, which was neither good or evil. The evil of the Vampire and the Hyena, balanced by the good of the Immortal and the White Knight mentality of the body's actual owner. The eternal death of the life sucking vampire countered perfectly by the unending life of the Immortal, The inhuman anamalisticness of the Hyena countered by the caring and giving soul of the boy. A boy who had already made a mockery of several prophecies and destroyed the once carefully laid plans of both The Powers That Be and their opponents, by bringing a fallen Slayer back to life, even as her successor was Called to take her place. Janus was pleased, and even as the figure dashed the bust to the ground, Janus chose him as his Champion, and with a push of his power, locked in the physical changes wrought upon the boy, while securing the memories of both Alexander and those gained from LaCroix permanently into the boy's mind. While they would not be a driving force in his personality, the combined 6,000 years of learning, experiences, and skills would forever more be at the boy's beck and call.

As the bust shattered on the ground, the possession of Xander by the Immortal Alexander faded, leaving behind a confused young man, who immediately lost his balance and fell to the ground, as his mind swam with the newly acquired memories, and he struggled to come to terms with the overload of sensory information now flooding his brain, from the sounds of the 3 heartbeats within the room, to the smells of everything around him, senses far sharper than those experienced whilst in the throes of the Hyena possession the previous year.

"Giles?" Xander called out, even as he heard/felt one of the two others in the room with him move to his side, and the other start to edge to the door, taking advantage of the first's distraction.

"Xander? Are you ok?" came the voice of his mentor.

"Ethan. He's getting away." Xander said, as he tried to move from the floor.

Whirling around, Giles saw the door to the back of the shop swing closed behind Ethan's retreating figure, but instead bent over to help his young charge up from the floor. "That's ok. If he sticks around, we'll take care of him later. And if he leaves, then he is gone, and will be someone else's problem. In either case, I'll notify the Watcher's Council of his current location and this evening's activities. I'm sure they will be more than happy to have a little chat with him, should they manage to track him down."

As he helped Xander to his feet, he noticed that the boy seemed to be squinting against the light. "Xander, are you OK?" he asked again.

"Um, I don't think so." Was the soft reply from the boy. "It's too bright in here, and I have a really bad headache. Plus, I still remember everything."

"Everything, what?" asked Giles, guiding the student out the front of the shop into the night.

"Everything. I remember all of Alexander's life. And I remember all of the Vampire that tried to turn him this evening, the one he drained."

Giles suddenly came to a stop, and looked down at his young charge, asking, "Drained?"

Xander nodded, "LaCroix. A two thousand year old Vampire who was brought across by his daughter Divia as Pompeii was erupting. After Alexander was mortally injured fighting a Polgara demon, the vampire decided he would make an excellent new Childe. He used a form of hypnosis almost, something like the Jedi Mind Trick from Star Wars to force Alexander to drink his blood and accept the change so he could save him - he reminded LaCroix of a previous Childe he had recently lost, one who had been his favorite Childe for over 800 years. But something went wrong when he tried to turn Alexander. LaCroix unlocked the Hyena, and it mixed with the Vampire essence, and the Immortal Quickening, and created something stronger than even LaCroix himself. His, or rather, my first act on awakening was to drain my so called Master, and as I did so, I somehow downloaded his mind. All his thoughts, his memories, his experiences, his skills, everything. I don't think I killed him, as when I left he was still moving, but I'm sure he didn't expect such a thing from me."

Giles was stunned. He had never heard of such a thing. "I never heard of a Master named LaCroix. Someone that old should have been in the records somewhere."

Xander shook his head, "No, he wouldn't. He isn't real. He is a different type of Vampire. One from a TV show. They aren't like the real vampires - for one thing they can fly. And they are far harder to kill. The Childe of LaCroix, the one he recently lost, had staked him once and left him in a burning building. LaCroix was dead. But he got better. And Davia, LaCroix's Sire? He himself once cut off her head and tossed her in the crypt with the corpse of her own Sire. It took her a while, but she came back as well."

Giles was stunned. "Thank god these are fictitious Vampires."

Xander nodded. "But Giles, it's not just the memories."

Giles stopped walking and gave a worried glance at the boys face. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Xander shrugged, "My senses. I can still feel everything. It's still just like after Alexander was turned by LaCroix. I still feel it all. I can hear your heartbeat, Giles. I can smell your fear and worry. I can see your body heat. Heck, I can see better out here in the dark right now than I used to be able to in the middle of the day. Everything is so sharp and clear. I think, whatever happened to me, I think it may be permanent."

Giles didn't know what to say. "Uh, Xander, are you saying you think you may have become a vampire?"

Xander shook his head emphatically, "No. I also hear and feel my own heartbeat. By body heat is slightly greater than yours, and I am really craving Twinkies at the moment, not blood. But the enhanced senses, yes, they seem to have stuck around."

Giles resumed walking, the boy still leaning against him for support, as he led him to his car. "Well, let's head back to the Library, hopefully Buffy and Willow will turn up there soon, and we can get this sorted out. I can see if there's anything I can do to help you get back to normal"

With that the two walked off into the darkness, as the god of Chaos looked down with a grin at his new Champion, and his soon to be Watcher. After all, old Ripper would be a perfect guide for the boy, and it would be interesting to see how he handled having two Chosen Ones under his guidance. Oh, Janus was sure that whatever happened, it would be interesting, and fun.

+ 


	2. Chapter 2 Knight and Day

Chapter 2 "Knight and Day"

Xander had regained a level of control over his senses by the time he and Giles had arrived at the library.

The flashes of the street lights had been almost physically painful for the first few blocks, but by drawing on LaCroix's experiences coupled with Alexander's more recent experience in dealing with the same enhanced senses, and he found a sort of volume control in his mind, one that let him turn things down. More disturbing was the feeling that they had already been set somewhat low. He would have to experiment some time to see just what his limits really were, but he'd have to be careful, as he didn't want to go all Sentinel and start zoning out or something. Perhaps he should talk to Buffy, after all she had had to deal with gaining "super senses" when she became the Slayer.

Xander followed Giles into the library, knowing even before he entered that both Buffy and Cordelia were in there, as well as something else. He could smell Cordy's blood from outside, despite the turned down senses. The disturbing thing was that a part of him thought it smelled, nice, almost tasty. Fortunately, the rest of him was of the mind that that very concept was just, icky.

Stepping into the room behind the Librarian, he managed to catch a glimpse of Angel brooding in the corner, before having to drop to the side as a form came hurtling through the air at him like a blonde missile, a sharp wooden stake leading the way. "Woah, Buff, hold on there" he called, as she bounced off the wall above him and landed in a fighting position only feet away.

Buffy looked into his eyes with shock and surprise, and asked, "Xander?"

At his nod, she still didn't relax, instead catching Giles in her peripheral vision, and saying, "Uh, you're giving me a major wiggians, Xand."

Giles cleared his throat, and said, "Well, Xander seems to be experiencing some, er, residual effects from this evenings events."

Buffy still didn't relax completely, instead slowly reaching out with her free hand, and gently taking his wrist, feeling the warmth of his skin and the pulse of his blood before lowering the stake and stepping back a bit. "Uh, Xand, you know you feel like a Vampire, right?"

Cordelia gasped, and Angel looked up in alarm at that declaration, while Giles nodded as though unsurprised by that revelation.

"No, I didn't know that, but I'm not surprised. I don't think I'm a Vampire though. At least, I don't think I'm dead. Look, all breathy and warm and with the heart beat still, ya know?" he tried to explain.

Cordelia walked forward slowly, and asked, "What happened?"

Xander looked up at her, and responded, "I fought the bigfoot, it almost killed me, and then a vampire tried to turn me. But I got better."

Suddenly a new voice chimed in from the doorway, where a just arrived Willow screamed "Oh-my-god-Xander-are-you-ok-I-can't-believe-a-vampire-tried-to-turn-you-how-did-you-manage-to-get-better?" as Willow grabbed him in a hug from behind.

Turning into the hug, Xander tried to reassure his oldest living friend, and answered, "It was my costume, Wills. I was dressed as an Immortal, so even though I died, I came back. But, there was a bit more to it than that. Somehow the vampire managed to release the Hyena when he tried to turn me."

Willow dropped him and leapt back, Buffy raising her stake again in response to a new apparent threat, and Cordelia only looked confused. 

Willow was the first to speak, "The-the-hyena? I-thought-we-got-rid-of-it-did-the-deposession-and-and-everything?"

Buffy's eyes hardened as she looked over her closest male friend, her fingers subconsciously tightening around the stake as she watched Xander formulate his reply.

"We did. But apparently all we managed to do was lock it up somehow. It was still there, or at least part of it was. I have all the senses I did back then, maybe even more, because I don't remember things being anywhere this sharp before."

Buffy gasped out at his slip of the tongue, and asked, "You remember? Everything?"

Xander locked eyes with her, his emotions starting to crumble a bit as he said something he had wanted to for a long time now, "Yes, I do, and Buffy, I'm sorry for how I acted then. It really wasn't me in control. I now know how Angel can feel guilty for the actions of his demon, if that's what he went through when he was a vampire, because it feels like it was me, but it really wasn't. Can you ever forgive me?"

Buffy relaxed a bit, and said, "Forgiven a long time ago, Xander. I know it wasn't really you."

Xander nodded and offered a slight smile, before going on, "Anyhow, it is still me in control here, so perhaps the spirit of the hyena or whatever was either gone, or has been absorbed, or maybe it's now the one being possessed, by me. I dunno. But there's more to it than that, I think."

Willow looked confused, as she said, "What more?"

Xander shuddered, and went on, "Well, from what Buffy said when I came in, I think I've got the Vampire in me now as well."

Willow's eyes went wider, and she squeaked, "Vampire?"

Xander nodded, and said, "Yeah, apparently I didn't go back to normal when the spell ended. I have the memories of both the Immortal I was dressed as, and the Vampire who tried to change me stuck in my head. Buffy says she senses the Vampire, and I am going nuts trying to not smell the light around me or hear the texture of the floor through my shoes, if that makes any sense at all."

Cordelia spoke up, "Smell the light?"

Xander nodded and replied, "It's weird. It's like my brain is getting so much information it's still trying to learn how to process it all at once. It's really hard to explain."

Buffy nodded, "I remember when my Slayer senses first kicked in, although it was gradual like, not all at once, but sometimes it was so confusing trying to deal with being able to hear all the conversations in a room at the same time. It was kinda hard to follow the one conversation right in front of you and not to want to jump into a conversation about something going on clear across the room."

Xander smiled at her, "Well, since I remember how LaCroix dealt with it over the centuries, I think I should be able to adapt, but it's still hard, it's not automatic yet for me like it was for him."

Willow looked at Xander for a moment, "LaCroix? Why does that name sound familiar?"

Xander smiled back, "He was the vampire that tried to bring me across tonight. Just like he did with Nicholas 800 years ago, in the TV show..."

Willow's eyes widened as she cut him off, "Forever Knight!"

"Yes. Apparently someone must have dressed as him, and when the costume thingy went off..." Xander answered.

"Oh-my-god-Xander! He was like so evil!" Willow cried out, "And he attacked you? Tried to turn you?"

Xander nodded. "Not that it worked like he expected. The first thing I did when I awoke was to drain HIM."

Angel spoke for the first time, "You attacked your Sire? That's not possible. The bond would prevent any fledgling from going after their creator."

Xander shook his head, "Not in this case. Something went wrong. Between the Hyena and the Immortality, I don't think it worked like it was supposed to."

Buffy now interjected, asking, "You said you drained him - did you kill him, Xander? I mean, if he was a normal person just in a costume, oh my god!"

Xander shook his head, "I didn't kill him. At least I hope I didn't - he was still moving when I flew away."

Willow's eyes widened yet again, "Oh yeah, they could fly! You were able to fly? That's so cool!"

"Yeah, Wills, I could fly. Don't really know how, I just kinda did it. But anyhow, as I was saying, he was still moving when I left him, more stunned than anything else, I think. But when I was draining him, I somehow sucked all his memories into myself somehow."

Giles finally chose that moment to interject, "Ok children. I think we have had enough excitement for this evening. Why don't you all head home, and we'll meet back here in the morning, ok?"

Buffy suddenly felt a worry rise to the top of her mind, "Uh, morning? Giles, Xander's got a vampire in him, if he goes outside, he'll go all burney."

"I hope not, Buffster. I mean, look", Xander said, pulling the large wooden cross out from under his shirt where he'd been wearing it against his skin all evening, "I'm perfectly ok with the touching and the looking at the cross, so maybe since I'm not all dead and stuff, those other things don't apply to me, ya know? But I promise, I'll test the sunlight with my littlest pinky before I step outside and do a Johnny Storm impression."

Cordelia asked, "Johnny Storm?"

Willow smiled at her, and explained, "A comic character. The Human Torch."

Cordelia's eyes widened in recognition of the reference, and she nodded. "Thanks. Sometimes dweeb boy's comments are just so off, I don't know what he's talking about."

With that, everyone filed out of the library, leaving Giles alone to shut off the lights and lock the doors.

Elsewhere.

The collection of beings known as "The Powers That Be" were not happy. They had not been happy since earlier that year when the unanticipated intervention of the mortal Alexander Harris had revived the body of their recently released Champion. 

To say they were more than displeased by the events of the previous night would be an understatement. 

"It is certain that Janus has chosen him as a Champion?" one of them asked.

"It is", the conformation came.

"This is unacceptable. We have yet to get our plans back on track. A Champion of Janus, especially Harris, is entirely unacceptable. He must be dealt with before he can cause any further disruption in our plans."

Another spoke, "Balance must be restored."

"We could send the Slayer. We could notify her of the rise of Harris, we simply identify him as a Vampire. She would eliminate him in accordance with her sacred duty."

"What of the Summers girl. She may try to interfere with the Slayer. As may her so-called Watcher."

"We tell her it is important she eliminate this evil before it has a chance to consolidate its power base. And forbid her from contacting Summers or Giles. If she ends up eliminating Summers, that's even better - with her dead as she should be, we might be able to get most of our plans back on track."

"That is acceptable."

"Agreed."

"So it shall be."

"Contact the slayer. Send her to Sunnydale. Have her eliminate Harris before he causes any more disruptions."

Xander tossed on his bed, his sleep disturbed as his mind tried to process the day's events into long term storage. The dreams inspired by two alien sets of memories as well as the events leading to their incorporation to his mind were disjointed at best. But then suddenly, his body stilled, his eyes stopping any REM movement, and the dream which filled his mind was no dream at all.

A figure was standing before him in a vast, empty landscape. Xander could feel the power emanating from the apparent man.

"Wha?" was Xander's incoherent comment.

"Alexander Lavelle Harrison. Congratulations. You are now my Champion."

"Champion? Who are you, and what do you need a champion for?" Xander asked.

The figure stepped closer, and turned it's head.

Xander could now see in profile, two separate faces. The first, which had been facing him was smooth, looking like that of a young man, while the second, which had been turned away looked to be old, a short yet well kept graying beard flowing from it's chin. The head continued to turn, allowing the older visage to rest fully on Xander's face.

The memories of both LaCroix and the Immortal Alexander, both of whom had been Roman Generals at one time or another supplied a name, "Janus! You're the bastard who caused all that havoc last night, the supposed god of Chaos. I guess it's no wonder that all these damn fake memories you put in my head are trying to say that the Romans thought you were on the side of Civilization and a force for good. You bastard. Why the hell would I do anything for you?"

The being before him scowled, and stated in a level, yet powerful and angry tone, "Silence! You will hold your tongue a moment, and I will explain."

Xander found himself as immobile as a statue, unable to do anything more than simply listen. The figure before him began to speak again, in a slightly softer, yet still forceful tone, "Yes. I am Janus. I am an Elder God, one who has been around since shortly after the creator did the whole 'Let there be light' thing. In a way, all of us Elder Gods were used as catalysts in the act of creating a coherent universe. Over the ages, I have been labeled as the God of New Beginnings, the God of Change, the Keeper of Doorways, and even the God of Chaos. I was the Protector of Rome, and indeed have always been a patron of civilization, a guardian of mankind against the forces of darkness, I believe I was one of the first gods to take on that role. I am not a patron of chaos however, but rather of change, and change is often perceived as chaos. But I prefer order, and I abhor random and useless destruction. I stand for transitions, for the changing of the guard, so to speak, for renewal. That is why the first month of the year, 'January', is named after me after all. The time when the old year is done, and the new one is beginning. As for what I need a champion for, according to an ancient compact, one formed not long after the Demons were banished from the earth, I can not directly act upon the mortal plane without specific invitation. All I can do is act when called upon, as I did last night when empowering the spell Ethan cast upon this town. I can also communicate with my priesthood, at their instigation, to provide either specifically requested, and severely limited aid or guidance. And finally, I am allowed a single Champion. One human, with whom I am allowed to speak directly, whom I am also allowed to aid from time to time to further my interests. But the compact has several restrictions on who my Champion can be - they must not be chosen from among my followers, for example. And once chosen, I can not discharge them, but must abide by my choice until they themselves relinquish the mantle, or are destroyed. As a result, I have not Chosen a Champion in well over a thousand years. But I know of events which are coming, things which threaten the entire world, and without my aid, and that of my Champion, all which has been built by mankind is in danger of being lost. And I WILL NOT ABIDE BY THAT!"

At that, Janus again turned his head to the side, allowing the second face to be seen again, but as the head continued to turn, the face which was displayed was not that of the young man Xander had first seen, but instead had the semblance of a middle aged woman. As her eyes came to lock on Xander's, she smiled, and spoke in a soft, motherly voice, "When I saw you this evening, I looked into your soul, and I saw the Champion I needed. So I made my choice. I used my connection to you, through the bust and the spell it was empowering, to lock in the changes imposed by the spell, and secure the memories of the two fictional beings you had in your head. I am here now to explain things, and to lay my charge upon you."

Turning it's head again, the female face was replaced with a new masculine one, this one looking to be in it's late thirties. It spoke once more, this time in an almost fatherly tone. "First, I think I should explain what you are, physically. You are not, despite what the ex-Slayer said, infected with a Vampire Demon. Nor is the Primal Hyena spirit really there any more. You will find though that the abilities from both of those are present within you from now on. You have the combined strength, speed, and senses of the Hyena as well as those of the type of fictional Vampire that young Warren Meers dressed as. What happened to you under the spell was, unexpected. When your friends reversed the Hyena possession, they banished the Primal Spirit from your body. However, the very fact that it had been transferred to you left it's mark, much as while your friend Buffy no longer has the Slayer Spirit within herself, the gifts it brought her were left behind when you revived her. In your case, the banishment spell locked away the effects of the possession, leaving you more or less as you had been before. But they were always still there, just buried. When the Vampire released them while trying to bring you across, they returned in full to your body, as they were indeed a part of you, much as Buffy's enhanced senses, strength, speed, and healing are and always will be a part of her. The changes wrought by the Vampire's blood then took that template as the base upon which to build. It again enhanced your senses, your speed, your strength, much as it would have with a normal human. But since the starting point was different, so was the destination. Then the Immortal's Quickening came into play. As you noticed, you are not dead. But for a brief time, you were. However, once the Quickening, aided by the Vampire traits, had healed your body, it restored your life. Which had a suppressive effect on the Vampire. If you were to die from a non traumatic event, for example from poison or suffocation, the portion of you inspired by the Vampire would still remain active. It's likely you wouldn't even lose consciousness. And it is a very old Vampire, due to the age and strength of the Immortal's body the spell had given you, equivalent to that of a 4,000 year old Master Vampire from that fictional universe. However, at the moment you are no longer an actual Immortal. When I ended the spell, I restored the threads of your life in full, however leaving the essence of the Quickening behind, making you technically a pre-immortal. So even if you are killed, you will never be stuck as a vampire, as your Quickening will eventually heal you, and restore you to life. I would try to avoid getting killed for the next few years however, as being stuck as a minor for all time could be a major inconvenience."

The head turned again, this time revealing the face of the young man as it swung around. In a much higher voice, as befitting the now teenaged appearance, Janus continued. "You will find that since you are not a Vampire, per se, none of the curses to such will apply to you. You may walk into homes uninvited, handle holy items, stand in the sunlight, and eat a garlic pizza which you wash down with a glass of Holy Water, should you so desire. At the same time, the enhanced strength, the contact telekinesis which allows you to 'fly', and even the mental communication are all abilities drawn from the 'Vampire' heritage you received from LaCroix. If you are injured, feeding on another's blood will help recharge and heal you, for example. And the transfer of memory through blood is also still an inherent part of your being. But you in no way need to drink blood to exist, just remember that if you ever need to, it is an option available to you."

Xander finally found himself able to move, and for the first time since Janus started his speech was able to interject. "What do you want from me?"

Janus turned his head yet again, displaying the female face once more before replying, "I want you to fight. I want you to save lives. I want you to defeat the darkness, and insure the continuation of civilization. I want you to protect my investments in Mankind over the ages."

The head swung around again, this time going back to the young man, who continued, "I want you to kick demon ass. And make the world a better place."

Xander asked, "You want me to work with Buffy for the Powers That Be?"

The head swung around again, displaying the grizzled older face once more, before answering, "No. Screw the powers that be. They are an annoyance, often more of a hindrance than a help to civilization. " Swinging around to face him with the fatherly face again, Janus continued without a pause, "They are all about 'Balance' about making sure that there is never a true winner in the battle between Good and Evil. The sad fact is there never can be a winner, unless Evil gets it's way, because the very struggle in inherently flawed."

Again the face changed, this time back to the woman's. "What I want you to fight for is to make things better where you can. You can't save everybody from everything all the time. No one can do that. Life is challenge, and struggle. Without pain, there truly is no gain. How can you measure Happy, if you have no Angry to compare it to? You can not cherish Joy without Sadness to act as a contrast. That is the one thing the so called Powers get right. But they get all into these great plans, their so called 'Destinies', and they try to script the outcomes of events, long before they ever can occur. You have no idea how much genuine chaos to their plans you caused by bringing Buffy back. They haven't had this large an upset in millennia. So trust me when I say you are the last person they would want working for them. "

She smiled at him, then turned her head again, displaying the older bearded face before continuing, "Plus, you are MY champion, not theirs. If you follow anyone's agenda, it should be mine. Too bad I don't really have one, never did go for those overblown detailed laid out long term plans, as I tend to prefer to just react to events within an over all strategy. It makes me far more flexible than someone who has to struggle when all their plans are blown away every time something they failed to anticipate occurs."

Xander nodded, "Ok, so what exactly do you want from me?"

The head turned again, back to the middle aged man's, and Janus replied, "I want for you to follow your heart. Do what you want to do, and try to help those in need. If I need you to do anything specific, I'll let you know. But for now, just be yourself. After all, that's why I chose you."

With that the scene seemed to fade, and Xander found himself sitting upright in the darkness of his bedroom, although the lack of light did nothing to hinder his vision of the room around him.

A faint voice seemed to echo through the room though, that of the female face of Janus, "Just follow your heart.", and then all was still.

Closing his eyes, Xander laid down again to go back to sleep.

Kendra's dreams were troubling. 

This was not the first time she had experienced a Slayer Dream since becoming the Chosen One last spring. But it was by far the most powerful.

She saw the rise of a great evil on the Hellmouth. She saw a powerful, yet young looking Vampire, and watched as it associated with, and slowly corrupted the spirits of both her predecessor and a man she believed to be her watcher. She watched as the Vampire then turned its attentions on the Hellmouth its self, and worked to open the gateway to hell, thus ushering in the end of the world. And she felt the urgency which would require her intervention. She awoke from her dream screaming for her Watcher, M'buto. She had to get to the Hellmouth as quickly as possible, if she was to stop the Vampire and save the world.

The sunlight coming through Xander's window and falling across his eyes woke him from what had eventually become a peaceful slumber. It took several moments before he realized that it was a VERY good thing he was not combustible in sunlight, as he had worried he might be the night before, as waking up with your face on fire would not be a recommended way to start your day.

Dragging himself out of bed, he made his way to the bathroom for a quick shower, after which he tossed on his cleanest clothes, reminding himself yet again to do laundry when he got home, then he headed to the kitchen to see if there was anything edible anywhere.

A through search of the cupboards showed that while his folks had gone to the store in the past day, nothing not drunk from a glass, and requiring ID to buy had been purchased. Typical. He'd also have to remember to stock up on food as well on his way home this evening.

Grabbing his jacket, he headed out the door and off to school, hoping Giles was in the library already, and if he was lucky, had brought some doughnuts he could er, borrow. After all, even on a Saturday, breakfast was important.

As he entered the library, he could hear a conversation in progress between Buffy and Giles, as Buffy was saying, "...have to be able to change him back. It's not like he has to be the Chosen One or anything."

Xander entered the room at that point and grabbing a doughnut from the conveniently placed box on the table by the door, interjected himself into the conversation. "Actually, apparently I am."

Both heads swung over to look at him, a somewhat guilty expression flickering briefly across Buffy's face, as Giles asked, "Pardon?"

Xander made his way to the table, and pulling a chair around backwards, sat down on it, leaning against the backrest. "I said, apparently I am, a Chosen One that is."

"What leads you to believe this to be the case?" Giles asked, genuine confusion flowing over his face as Buffy looked on in puzzled silence.

Xander looked back at both of them before answering, "Well, perhaps the really wiggy dream where Janus came and told me I was his chosen Champion."

Giles response was a typical "Oh good lord!" while Buffy's was more of an explosion of unfocused sound, which rapidly evolved into a tirade.

"Wait, Janus, like the Big Bad responsible for all the crazyness last night? That Janus?"

As Giles removed his glasses to start cleaning them, Xander interjected, "Uh, sort of. But from what I was told, that really was more Ethan's fault, all Janus did was power the spell. I'm not even sure if he knew what was going to happen, from what he sort of said."

Giles finally replaced his glasses before speaking himself, "Buffy, Janus, if it is Janus is not a 'Big Bad' as you put it. In fact, if anything he has proven over the ages to be more a force for good, a patron of civilization, and a guardian of humanity. Granted, sometimes his efforts were not appreciated at the time, but...'

"Giles, people were KILLED last night. How is that in any way a good thing?" Buffy demanded.

Xander felt a sudden need to speak, asking, "How many?"

Buffy looked at him askance, "How many what?"

Xander, unsure of why he was asking this, queried for clarification, "How many people died?"

Buffy tossed up her hands, and replied, "How should I know?"

Xander, again feeling like he was almist being prompted asked, "Well, perhaps you should check. See how many people died last night, verses how many died a year ago or on other Halloweens in the past, before you start laying blame on people."

As he said that, the urge to challenge Buffy seemed to recede. "Whoah" he said.

"Whoah what?" Buffy asked.

"For a second there, I felt all challengey there, wanting to just kick your ass for no real reason."

Giles uttered an "Oh dear", and again pulled off his glasses to clean them.

Buffy looked at her Watcher, and asked, "Giles?"

"You were challenging him, or rather challenging Janus. And as his Champion..." Giles trailed off.

Xander jumped in, "What, if someone starts talking trash about Janus I have to beat them up or something?"

Giles shook his head, "Not exactly. You wouldn't be forced to do anything, but you would likely feel an urge to support and defend Janus and his endeavors. When Buffy was challenging him, you felt an urge to defend him. Likely, unless you are a far weaker willed individual than I have been lead to believe, you could have resisted the urge to act, especially now that you will know that it is there, but the urge would be instinctive, were you actually to have accepted the mantle of Champion for an elder god."

"What is this mantle thing? Janus said something about having to abide by his choice of Champion until they themselves relinquished that mantle thing. So what is it?"

Giles looked at Xander and answered softly, "It's nothing physical. It is a responsibility. For you to have acted the way you did, it indicates that you likely have indeed accepted the position of Champion offered you, and the only way to change that would be for you to reject the job, with both heart and soul. As long as you believe in what you are doing, then the job will be yours. Only if you decide it is wrong to support Janus would you be able to terminate your responsibilities as his Champion."

Buffy jumped in, saying "Well it's wrong. So just quit it."

Giles shook his head, looking at Buffy sadly, "I'm afraid it isn't that easy, Buffy. It would be as hard for him to 'just quit it' as it would for you to stop being the slayer."

Xander thought back to what Janus had said the night before, about the Slayer Spirit and Buffy, but decided to bring it up with Giles later in private.

"Uh, Buff? From what Janus said to me last night, all he wants me to do is what I do anyways - fight the evil things which prey upon the innocent, and try to make a difference. He also said that there would be things coming up which would need my help for the world to survive, whatever that means. So, I guess what he wants may be pretty important. How could I turn my back on something like that? If I was the kind of person who could do that, I'd never be able to look myself in the mirror - it'd be like saying my dad was right all those times he told me I was a worthless waste of space."

Giles felt a brief surge of anger at the thought that any father could say something like that to their child, but held his tongue on the matter, instead choosing to simply agree with the young man's point, "Well, I don't think the Xander I have come to respect could ever walk away from someone who needed his help."

At that moment, Willow bounded into the library, and ran over to hug Xander. "Xander! You're ok! I-was-worried-you-might-have-a-problem-with-the-sun-then-I-went-by-your-house-on-my-way-to-school-and-I-couldn't-find-you-or-anything-and-I-got-really-worried, so-I-came-here-to-see-if-you-might-be-here-and-not-all-burnt-to-ashes-or-something-because-of-last-night!"

"Willow, breathe" Xander reminded her, as he hugged her back with a smile. "I'm ok sun wise. No burning or anything. Which is good because I forgot to close my curtains last night, and my window faces east."

Willow's eyes widened as she thought about that particular possibility for the first time, then she hugged Xander again, before letting him go and stepping back. "So, what's going on?" she asked in a much more normal tone.

Buffy answered, "Apparently Chosen boy here had a dream last night, and he thinks he's all like the champion of that Janus dude from last night, and don't say anything bad about him or it'll piss him off or something because he has a mandible."

Willow looked totally confused, then shifted her gaze to Giles, hoping for a translation.

Giles, taking the clue spoke up, "What she is trying to say is that Xander apparently had a vision last night from Janus, the god who empowered Ethan's spell, and he was told he is Janus's new Champion."

Willow nodded, then asked, "And the jaw bone?"

Xander was confused now, asking "Jaw?"

Willow rolled her eyes, and explained, "Mandible."

Xander nodded, "Oh, that. I think she meant mantle, as in the mantle of the champion or something. Giles was saying that because I have it I will now want to defend Janus if challenged or something. Part of the champion thingy."

Willow seemed to understand, then turned to Giles and asked, "Uh, isn't Janus like evil or something?"

Giles shook his head, replying "No, quite the opposite, actually."

Willow nodded, then asked, "But the spell?"

Giles explained, "Was a spell. Spells are tools, much like guns. They can be used to defend or to attack. One use can be noble, the other evil, but the gun remains the same. In this case, the spell was empowered by Janus, as to whether it caused more harm than good, we could research that, you know compare last night's death statistics against those from previous years. But in any case, it wasn't Janus who set the spell in motion, only who lent his power to complete it. Same as when any witch calls upon Hecate to cast a spell, doesn't mean Hecate approves of the use of the power, just that she grants her favor to the caster to use it on her behalf. If they abuse that favor, then it falls upon their own shoulders."

Willow seemed to grasp the concept, then hugged Xander again, "So now you are all with the destiny having and all. I'm happy for you, Xander."

Xander shook his head, "No, no destiny. Apparently that is for the Powers That Be and their crew. Janus seems to be more of a roll with the punches kind of being, than a plot it all out and follow the plan no matter what type."

Buffy looks confused, "What are the Powers That Be?"

Giles answers, "According to some mythos, they are a group of higher beings. Apparently they are the ones who have the responsibility for seeing to it that in the battle of Good verses Evil that neither Good or Evil ever wins. They do so by sponsoring Champions, beings such as The Slayer, among others, who fight against the tides of darkness."

Willow asks, "So they are like Buffy's bosses?"

Giles shakes his head, answering "More like the ones in charge of calling the new Slayer when the old one dies."

Xander nodded, "Janus didn't seem that impressed with them, either."

Giles nodded. "Well, as one of the Elder Gods, I don't suppose he would be. From what I recall, the Powers That Be were organized so that a bunch of lesser so called Higher Powers could exercise a collective influence over events, as opposed to just the Major Players, such as the Elder Gods, the Creator, and His Agents. I believe there was some sort of agreement, which ended the Age of Gods here on Earth, resulting in the far more hands-off approach which seems to exist today, as opposed to in ancient times."

Willow nodded, "Which is why people now have to call upon a God or Goddess for their intersession, instead of them being able to just jump in and help out whenever they wanted to, as they could in the past."

"Well put, Willow." Giles agreed.

"Ok, fine. So we can't put Xander back to normal, and now he's all Grr and making with the super powers. I suppose if this Janus guy isn't really evil, then it's ok. At least if he wants to hang out and help with patrol now I won't have to worry so much about him getting hurt anymore. But I think he should have to train with me as well then, if he's really going to be any use, you know?"

Giles nodded, while Xander and Willow looked a little pensive. After all, Xander wasn't sure if he could really hold his own against a Slayer.

"Uh, Buff, I don't know about that. I mean, I'm still all new to this, and..."

Giles interrupted, saying, "And that is precisely why you need to train. Even the memories you seem to have absorbed through your ordeal can not fully prepare you for using your current abilities - you said yourself last night that your senses are far more acute than those possessed by the vampire or your previous experience with the hyena possession. Couple that with the increased strength and speed, and you are likely more clumsy than dangerous at present. Hence your need for training, least you hurt yourself or heaven forbid others simply because you don't know your own strengths and weaknesses."

"Yeah," Buffy chimed in, "And besides that, it's been a long time since I've been able to spar with anyone other than Angel and go all out. It'll be good for both of us. You'd like to get all sweaty with me, wouldn't you, Xan?" Buffy added, with a sly grin.

Xander shuddered, but accepted his fate. Heading through the empty school to the gym, he changed into his PE clothes, before returning to the library for a workout.

As he stood before Buffy, he felt particularly naked without the "Puffy Xander" suit he had used the few times before when helping Buffy train.

"Ok, Buff. But try to take it a little easy on me, ok?"

Buffy nodded, then settled herself into a combat stance, and just stood there.

Xander mimicked her stance more or less, choosing one of the opening positions from amongst the several styles learned in the over 4,000 years of experience inherited from his fictional Immortal self. As the two warriors stood there, both watching the other for the slightest movement, Willow and Giles looked on. After a while Willow spoke up, "Uh, guys? I really think you need to move more when sparring. I mean, unless this is just a staring contest or something."

Xander's eyes didn't even flicker, as he replied, "I'm just waiting for the Bufster to make the first move here, Wills."

Buffy grinned, and replied, "Ditto on me and the Xan-man. As soon as he moves, so will I."

Giles, shook his head, and said, "That's all well and good, but one of you really does have to go first. Tell you what, I'll flip a coin, heads its Buffy, tails its Xander. Whoever I call out, has to make the first move."

Giles pulled out a quarter, and tossed it spinning into the air. Xander watched it out of the corner of his eye, as it seemed to float in slow motion tumbling towards the ground. It hit, heads up and bounced back into the air, but not with enough energy to actually flip over to the other side. Rather than waiting for Giles to speak, he moved, as fast as he could, bringing a sweeping kick towards Buffy's securely planted feet, hoping to take her down before she was expecting him.

Giles, on the other hand, was watching the quarter, and as it settled, he called out "Xander", even as a thump came from where Buffy and Xander had stood poised. Turning around, he was astounded to see Buffy flipping back to her feet, even as Xander settled himself just out of her range with a slight grin on his face.

From Buffy's point of view, one moment Xander had been standing before her, eyes glued to her body as he had for the past several minutes, and the next she was falling, even as a blur danced back from her to Xander's ready position. Even as she hit the ground, she used the energy of the impact in a rebound, flipping around and landing on her feet, before moving forward to launch a counterstrike against Xander, who had developed a small grin on his face at apparently gaining the first point.

Xander ducked out of the way of Buffy's punch, transferring his movement into a roll to summersault himself and come up behind the slayer, where he could try again to kick her feet out from under her.

Buffy saw the move and positioned her left foot where Xander's stomach would end up, only to watch as he seemed to flow around her foot, grabbing the ankle and lifting it, pushing her over backwards into an unintended flip.

Since she was going over anyhow, she kicked off the floor with her remaining foot, trying to bring it into contact with Xander's chin, but instead missing, and over extending herself when he somehow added a nudge of sideways momentum to her trajectory, causing her to loose her balance and tumble out of control, landing for a second time on the floor.

Xander started to relax as he found his body responding almost automatically to every one of Buffy's apparently slow motion moves.

How it was that he could track her so easily at what he assumed was full Slayer Speed he didn't know, but he could. As long as he didn't try to worry about what he was doing, he was fine. But then he made his first mistake. He started getting confident, feeling proud that he was apparently holding his own against a Slayer. And pride comes before a fall. Or at least it should have.

Buffy kipped back to her feet, spinning around and before he could respond, had kicked Xander's feet out from under him in an unexpected move.

Her follow-up, meant to hit him on his way down however failed, and Buffy paused, watching in awe as Xander simply, floated.

Xander looked down at his feet, which were off to the side as he literally hung suspended at an odd angle in mid air, nothing supporting his weight.

Buffy had stepped back from the fight and was just staring at him. Finally she spoke up. "Uh, Xan?"

Xander looked over at her, "Yeah Buff?"

"Um, you know you are floating, right?"

Xander looked back at his drifting feet, and nodded. "Uh, I kinda noticed."

"You know you're not supposed to do that, right?"

"Yeah Buff. Problem is." he suddenly broke off as he fell to the ground, "Umph. I didn't know how I was doing it."

Buffy raced over to her friend and helped him back up to his feet. "Uh, didn't you say that you were flying last night?"

Willow finally shook herself out of her stupor, and rushed over, saying "Oh-wow-that's-right! Last-night-you-said-you-could-fly-like- the-forever-knight-vampires-and-now-you-are-flying! Are-you-ok?"

Xander stood on his feet securely, and said, "I think so. At least I feel ok, not even bruised, really. And yes, I was flying last night, during the spell. Apparently that didn't wear off either."

Willow and Buffy lead him over to a table, despite his protestations that he was fine,

Giles decided that they had had enough for a first sparring match, and everyone adjourned to walk away from the empty school, down the street to the local burger joint..

Xander was surprised by the sheer amount of food he consumed at lunch.

While normally he could match Buffy bite for bite, at lunch he seemed to be eating three for her every two. And when all the food was gone for the second time, he was still just a touch hungry.

"I think I've noticed another change - I seem to be running a higher metabolism. Either that or my sparring with the Buffster really burned the calories off this morning."

Buffy nodded, adding "You used to eat a lot Xan, if you're gonna up that as much as I did when I first went all Slayer, then you've only just begun to eat, and Sunnydale may soon run out of food!"

Xander just grinned, and tore into his meal, relishing on one level the fact that he could still eat food, and hadn't found himself condemned to an eternity of a garlic-free liquid diet as one part of him recalled.

Lunch, other than the sheer quantity of food consumed, it was much as any lunch the gang had participated in over the past year. A normality which may soon come to be in scarce supply. The good mood lasted throughout the day, the situation with Xander being put aside for more mundane concerns, until, as dusk approached, Buffy finally offered to take Xander with her on their first joint patrol, where Xander was intended to be other than simply fray adjacent. 

A patrol which would, as much as anything else in the past day mark the changes in Xander's life.

+ 


	3. Chapter 3 Knight of Misfortune

Chapter 3 "Knight of Misfortune"

The cemetery was dark as Xander cut through it after the patrol on his way home.

Buffy had readily agreed, after seeing him handle himself earlier that evening that he was more than able to see himself home, and he felt proud of himself for earning the Slayer's obvious approval. 

In all the time he had known her, even when he brought her back to life through CPR, she had never really expressed any confidence or approval in him, despite his best efforts.

But tonight, she seemed almost impressed. And it was a good feeling.

He had almost made it to the street when a dark figure rushed out of nowhere attacking him with a simple stake.

He felt power emanating from the figure charging him, but beyond that he couldn't identify what kind of demon it was, it almost felt like Buffy, but it was taller and larger, with dark skin and hair.

"Die vermin" it shouted in a feminine voice, with a trace of a Jamaican accent.

Xander moved swiftly, pulling the stake from it's hand and brandishing it himself instead. "I don't feel like dying again tonight. I did it last night, and it kind of hurt, thank you very much."

The figure kipped back to her feet, he was now able to clearly identify her as a young looking woman of African descent.

"Den I am too late. I saw you width de odder slayer. You have corrupted her an' her watcher already. I mus kill you all to contain de damage."

"Corrupt?" Xander asked, dodging her kick-punch combination and trying to get out of range of the inhumanly fast girl. "I haven't corrupted anyone. I mean, sure, I've made a few off-colored remarks, but then who hasn't. It's not like my sense of humor is contagious."

"Stop talking and stand still so I can kill you vampire." The girl said, finally connecting with a kick to Xander's knee, which promptly snapped, bringing him to the ground. Whatever this girl was, she seemed faster then even Buffy.

As he fell, Xander lunged forward with the stake, piercing the girl in the chest, but missing the heart, hitting a lung instead. "Great" he said, watching as the girl folded over her wound, pulling the stake out of her own chest, and holding it before her.

Xander moved towards her to see if he could stop the bleeding, only for the girl to take the stake and slam it into his own chest, a last second twist on his part causing her to also miss the heart, but apparently nicking several vessels, based on the copious amounts of blood which promptly started to flow around the piece of wood.

Ignoring the girl in light of his own injuries, Xander remembered his new ability to fly, and took to the air, making his way towards his house as fast as he could go, a trail of blood still flowing around the stake painfully embedded in his chest.. He could call Giles and if the Watcher agreed, 911 once he got there to see about the girl.

In the cemetery, a lone vampire had watched the fight, and deciding that the dying girl would make an excellent minion, moved in to drain and change her.

Xander made it all the way to his back yard before he fell to the ground, unable to fly any further.

His last conscious act before passing out was to pull the stake from his chest, releasing a sudden flood of blood, which pooled around him on the ground as everything went black.

Elsewhere

The beings known as The Powers That Be looked down and watched as their Slayer failed to kill the being which called itself Xander Harris.

"This is not good." One of them stated flatly.

"She was not powerful enough. We will need a stronger champion to take him out before he further disrupts our plans" another responded.

"Her time is ended. I see a vampire approaches her, and she is unarmed and barely conscious." A third spoke.

"Perhaps we can use this." The first one said.

"Use this how?" another asked.

"If we left the Slayer Spirit within the chosen one as she was changed" the first considered.

"The spirit may be permanently tainted." One pointed out.

"It is a demonic essence to start with. What could further taint it than that?" the first asked.

"But how would we control a demonic slayer vampire. It would not be amongst our pieces." One of them asked.

"No, but the Slayer is amongst our pieces at present. And a vampire takes its form from the host it replaces. If she were singularly focused on the destruction of Alexander Harris, then most likely so would be the vampire which replaced her. And if it housed the Slayer Essence as well as its demonic essence." The first replied.

"It would likely be more than powerful enough to vanquish Harris." Another concluded.

"But how would we then destroy such an abomination to reclaim the Slayer Spirit?" one of them asked.

"That is not as important as the destruction of Harris. While he lives, none of our plans can come to fruition." Another of them responded. "A way will be found. It always is." It concluded.

"Then so let it be." They said in unison.

Kendra's dying mind was suddenly flooded with an overwhelming obsession; Destroy Alexander Harris.

Even as she felt her life slipping away, the vampire sucking her lifeblood from the newly opened wound on her neck, she grasped for any way to fulfill the compulsion. And when the vampire unexpectedly cut his own wrist and offered it to her, she saw the opportunity, and grasping the wrist with all her remaining strength began to drink. And she drank, and drank. Her strength more than enough to hold the wrist in place despite the vampire's weakening attempts to remove it. It was only when the wrist suddenly crumbled to dust that she stopped drinking, and slipped the rest of the way into darkness.

The excessive amount of blood in her system, coupled with the entrapped demonic essence of the Slayer Spirit wrought accelerated and enhanced changes on the body of the former Slayer.

The new vampire, Kendra awoke a few hours later. Her hunger was immense, and she immediately went off in search of blood. Coming upon the local Quickie Mart she entered, and spying the attendant secure behind his four inch thick vampire proof safety glass, reached out and simply tore the plexan from the steel frame, shattered pieces of plexy mixing with bent and twisted pieces of metal crashing on the ground and counter as she reached in and pulled out the source of her first meal of the morning. Her first of many. The first rays of the dawning sun showed seventeen of Sunnydale's nominally safe night time workers laying dead in one place or another, and the new Vampire retreating to the sewers to await the fall of darkness. After all a vampire with a Slayer-sized appetite needed a lot of food to survive. Fortunately for her it seemed plentiful.

Sunrise found Xander regaining awareness, his chest still hurt, which indicated he hadn't actually died the night before, but he almost wished he had. The pain was excruciating as he sat up and looked at the stick puddle of drying blood where he had lain for hours.

He groaned as he made his way unsteadily to his feet, then managed a brief wobbling flight up to and through his bedroom window.

Shedding his ruined clothes on his way to his bathroom, he treated his aching body to a hot shower to clean off the remnants of the sticky blood which seemed to coat everything.

Finally clean he got out and wiping the mirror examined the reddish spot in his chest which was the only visible sign of his impalement. Grabbing some clean clothes he threw them on as he made his way to the phone.

He had to call Giles and talk to him about the girl who had attacked him the night before.

End

---Snip here to detach actual story from after-notes.---

Ok, I don't know if I will continue this thread past this point. As I sat stuck on this story for MONTHS, I finally gave up and skipped ahead A LOT, jumping past everything I had planned for this thread, and restarting over twenty years later, according to Xander's perspective.

But at least I finally finished this story.

If you liked it, you should enjoy its distant sequel, "Knight Errant"

Dana. 


	4. Knight Errant Notes, Parts 1 & 2

Author's Notes:

This is a story set a bit after my story "Forever White Knight". It will draw heavily on characters created for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Highlander, Brimstone, and of course, Forever Knight. The references to and appearances by characters from these stories are not meant to detract from any actual canon stories dealing with them, and all take place in some odd sort of alternative universe where nothing is as it would have been in the originals. I just wrote this for the fun of it, and if ya don't like it, tell me and perhaps I'll stop, or change it. If you do like it, please do let me know. This is not as plotted out as some of my previous stories, and is entirely un-proofed. What you have here is raw output from a writer who should be asleep at this moment, but who is awake 'cause his back is hurting and he can't get comfortable, so he's banging away on his laptop while waiting for the ibuprofen cocktail he took to take effect. There are at least four stories I have not bothered writing which should lay between FWK and KE. These are somewhat encapsulated via the following prologue. Oh yeah, and if it seems incoherent, I blame the drugs. Yeah, 'cause we all know how ibuprofen causes a loss of mental acuity. Don't we? Hrmm.. Ok fine, just blame me directly. See if I care. Really. I mean it, see if I do or not. :)

--- Snip here to detach actual pre-story and story parts. ---

Forever White Knight

Knight Errant

by Dana Short

Prologue

(Mostly a bunch of history. But since I doubt you have read the other stories especially since they at present haven't all been written, this should help you get up to speed without wasting a lot of time on stuff readers of ths list won't likely care about.)

The portal opened up in a small clearing in the midst of a wooded glade, the two dimensional disk of swirling light illuminating the darkened woods around it with a swirl of colors.

Out of it few a pair of feet followed by the rest of a dark haired young man carrying a sword and a white cat, his trajectory perfectly flat, as though unaffected by anything as mundane as gravity.

About twenty feet from the portal he came to an abrupt stop as his feet hit a tree and his legs collapsed, absorbing the shock of the impact momentarily, before re-extending and shooting him back towards the portal again, although at a new angle, one which would carry him past it with the portal to his left. As he rebounded, he shifted the cat to his left arm, freeing his right arm to wield the katana like sword he held clenched in his right fist.

Even as his position closed on that of the portal, it spat out three more forms before winking out of existence with a soft "Fush" sound.

Two of the forms seemed to be hugs slobbering dog like creatures, while the final one was a seven foot tall demonic creature clad in primitive amour, and carrying a battleaxe.

One swing of the sword as he passed their position, and the closest of the two demonic dog like creatures was missing it's head, it's dead body falling to the ground and starting an accelerated decomposition.

As he approached the far side of the clearing, he dropped the cat carefully to the ground, and tumbled down himself, rolling to his feet as he turned to face the final two monsters, while the cat bounded off silently into the darkness.

The demonic warrior growled and charged the youth, the demonic dog right at his side.

Even as the man dodged the first swing of the huge axe, the dog was pouncing for his throat, only to be knocked out of the way by a large snarling midnight black saber tooth tiger.

The sudden appearance of the enormous cat seemed to give the demons a moment of pause, but the young man took it in stride, and using the hesitation of his opponents, managed to slice the arm of the warrior holding the axe.

As the demon cried out, this time in pain, and the large axe fell to the ground, the tiger leapt once more upon the form of the demonic dog, this time going for it's throat, and blood spurted through the now dark woods as the hell hound let out a mortal cry of pain.

Meanwhile, the battle between the young man and the demon had progressed about the same, the katana like blade slashing out once more, this time taking the demon in the stomach, and despite his amour, slicing deeply into his flesh and eliciting another cry of pain.

A final swing of the blade, and there was a second head falling to the floor of the clearing that evening.

As silence descended once more on the woods, the man locked eyes with the large black cat.

With a nod at the youth, the cat turned and fled into the darkness from whence it had come, leaving only the rapidly decomposing bodies of the three demons, along with the still heavily breathing Xander Harris, recent escapee of Hell, and Champion of the god Janus alone in the dark.

The breaking of the sun found Xander walking along a road, towards the south.

He had yet to determine where he was, but all he really needed to know was where he wasn't – and that was Hell, the dimension where he had been trapped for what seemed to him to have been over twenty years, before in the midst of a chaotic battle he had a chance to leap through a portal and escape.

His mind flashed back over the circumstances which had lead to his arrival in Hell, so long ago.

It had all started when he first met Buffy Summers, a diminutive blonde who he came to learn was the current Vampire Slayer. Over the next few days he lost his best friend since childhood, a boy who was his brother in all but blood to the darkness, and had in turn vowed to fight back against it until he could fight no more. After that day he had fought at the side, ok, maybe a way behind but still a bit off to the side regardless, of Buffy. And things had happened to him, things which in retrospect may have happened even had he been ignorant of the real evil in the world, but would have certainly had different resolutions had he remained unaware of the true reality. One day at a School Field Trip to the Zoo, he came to be possessed by a primal Hyena spirit. While the possession was later disrupted, unbeknownst to him the possession had left its mark on him. Then later that year, he had been possessed a second time, this time by a fictitious immortal version of himself, who ended up being more or less unsuccessfully "brought across" by an equally fictitious master vampire from an old TV show. Somehow while trying to bring across his new Childe, the vampire unlocked the remnants of the Hyena Primal, and the Immoral Quickening added its own influence to create an amalgam which drew traits from all sources, but which was truly unique. Janus, the god who had powered the spell that temporarily created the Vampire and Immortals in question then threw his own hat into the ring, when he chose Xander to be his new champion, and thus took steps to insure that the powers and memories bestowed by the possessions remained fully intact after the spell was ended.

Thus Xander found himself properly armed to take up the battle he had previously sworn himself to. And all would have been of the good, had not the so called "Powers That Be" decided to interfere. Sending their Slayer against him, a girl named Kendra who was called when his friend Buffy died at the hands of the truly evil vampire known as The Master, albeit temporarily.

Kendra met with and fought Xander, who at the time was still just starting to get used to his new abilities, and tried her best to kill him. Fortunately, she failed. Unfortunately, she succeeded enough that Xander ended up fleeing, leaving her broken and unconscious body behind him in the graveyard where their encounter had taken place. Even worse, a passing vampire who had witnessed the fight decided she would make an excellent minion, and had tried to turn her himself. Intervention by the Powers That Be, who were for some reason more concerned with eliminating the apparent threat they saw from Xander to their plans, resulted in the Demonic Vampire Kendra became retaining her Slayer powers, thus creating a type of super-vampire.

Over the next few months, Kendra and Xander fought many times, neither one gaining an advantage over the other enough to end things for once and for all. To make things worse, after a night of romance on Buffy's seventeenth birthday, her lover the ensouled vampire Angel had lost his soul due to the escape clause in the gypsy curse which had restored it in the first place, and he had joined with Kendra, Spike, and Drusilla to create a new "Scourge of Sunnydale".

Buffy, Xander, and the other Scoobies managed to successfully thwart the return of The Judge, a demon of incredible power, able to literally burn the humanity out of people. But with a rocket launcher Xander procured from the nearby army base, the demon was soon a spattery new decoration all over the walls of the mall where he had chosen to make his first, and as it turned out, last attack.

Not to be thwarted, the Scourge managed to obtain another ancient demon, this one named Acaltha, who had been turned to stone centuries ago, before he could open his mouth and create a portal to suck the entire world into Hell.

But once more, the Scobies had a plan. While "the coven", made up of the experienced Gypsy Techno-pagan witch Jenny Calendar, along with witches-in-training Willow Rosenburg and Amy Madison worked to recast the soul-curse on Angelus and possibly Kendra, to try and stop them, Buffy and Xander went into the mansion to rescue Rupert Giles, Buffy's Watcher who had been taken prisoner by the Scourge and was being tortured in an attempt to extract the secrets needed to activate Acaltha and thus drag he world into hell.

During the ensuing battle, Xander ended up decapitating Kendra, thus freeing the Slayer essence to call the next Slayer, and ending her reign of terror. Angelus however managed to last through to the end, and had actually succeeded in activating Acaltha, and in a matter of moments, Angel was returned, while Xander, ended up piercing Angel through the heart with the blade which had been embedded in the demon, and both of them ended up trapped as the portal closed, taking them with it to Hell.

Xander soon lost track of the remorseful vampire in the chaos which was Hell.

The years after that were almost a blur. He had died several times, his vampiric essence and immortal quickening healing him repeatedly as he battled seemingly without pause.

Over time he met a few allies, gained and lost several weapons, and created and even vanquished several enemies.

Then, a few days ago, he heard how one of the local hell lords, one of those firmly on Xander's Enemy List, had kidnapped someone's daughter. Or perhaps their pet, he hadn't been able to be sure. But what he had been sure of was that the victim was going to be sacrificed to help the said lord gain even more power. Something to do with opening portals. And Xander decided to do whatever he could to throw a monkey wrench into those plans.

So he had ended up fleeing from the lord's keep, several demons in hot pursuit, while he was carrying a cat. He had found the cat secured to an alter, awaiting the sacrificial ceremony. Using the blade he was currently carrying – some sort of mystical weapon he had picked up after killing it's previous bearer, he freed the cat and as stealthily as possible out of the keep. He had almost made it too, before he crossed paths with a roaming guard patrol. And the pursuit ensued.

Just when he had thought all was lost, the cat had done something, shivered a bit, and a portal had swirled into being on the ground before him.

He hadn't even hesitated to jump, and that had lead to the fight in the clearing. And his losing the cat. He was a bit worried about the missing cat, but even being lost in a forest should be better for it than being sacrificed by a demon lord. And he was out of Hell. He sure couldn't find a downside to that one.

Now, he had found a road. Where it went he wasn't sure, but from wherever it lead he could probably find a way to get back home. And even if he found he was in some other dimension, at least it wasn't Hell.

Chapter One – On the Road.

Xander looked up as the truck came around a bend in the road. It was red. And muddy. And it was slowing down, the driver apparently having spotted Xander as he made his way cautiously along the side of the mysterious road through the woods. The sun had been up for a few hours now, and he was actually on his second road, his first having dead-ended a bit after meeting this one.

Xander was sure he was a sight to behold, outfitted in all hand-made clothes, with a pack slung over one shoulder, and the obvious hilt of a bladed weapon poking out over the other one. He was also quite sure he stunk, not having found a likely place to bathe in quite a while – days before back in Hell. He could only imagine what he must look and smell like to any civilized human.

The truck pulled alongside him, and came to a complete stop. Then the window nearest him powered down, as the driver leaned over and looked out at him.

"Mornin'" the driver called out with a somewhat cautious tone.

Xander couldn't resist, and smiled back as he answered, "Yep, looks that way to me."

"Where are you heading?" the driver tried again to garner some sort of information.

"That's a good question. If I had the slightest clue where I was, I might have some sort of idea where I was going. All I can tell you at the moment is that-a-way, as the road I was on before, the one back there, ended, and I am kinda hoping this one will take me somewhere so I can figure out where I am and where I am going to go from there."

The driver looked confused at this, then queried, "You lost?"

Xander nodded, replying, "More than I could ever express. Um, I know this will sound as insane as I probably look, but could you perhaps tell me where I am, and maybe even the approximate date, even a season might help me at this point."

The driver looked even more confused, "Uh, you don't know where you are or what day it is? Were you in a crash or something?"

Xander shook his head, "More a something, which if I could describe it believably I would call it a college prank gone really wrong, one which involved dumping me out in the middle of nowhere as some sort of secret survival ritual, and providing me with only the supplies and clothes you can see on me. And the catch is, I have to make it back without getting caught or having to call for help."

The still unidentified driver shook his head, then offered, "Um, do you at least know you are in Canada? Ontario, to be more general, Sproule Township to be more specific, in the Algonquin Provincial Park."

Xander looked around in renewed confusion, "Park? Looks more like a forest. Canada? Boy am I lost. Last I was aware, I was in California. When I get back I am so kicking their asses. Ok, what is the largest city around here, and am I at least heading in the right way?"

The driver looked dubious again, before saying "California? I'm heading to Toronto. If you want to jump in the back, I suppose I can give you a lift that far, it's about 4 hours."

"Back of the truck is far better than feet on street. I'd be much obliged."

The driver looked Xander up and down again, before nodding, and saying, "Then climb on in and get comfortable."

"Thanks," Xander replied as he climbed into the back of the truck.

As the window slid up, and the truck started to move off, there was a sudden flash of white, and the cat Xander had last seen shortly after emerging from the portal from Hell darted out of the woods and leapt for the back of the truck, landing on Xander's legs, and looking up at him with it's green eyes as it started purring.

Xander looked at the cat, and said, "Uh, hi again."

The truck stopped, and the driver's window rolled down, the driver sticking his head out and looking back, "Is that a cat?"

"Um, yeah. Um, a, his" the cat suddenly clawed him in the leg, and Xander reconsidered, "uh, that is, her name is uh, Snowball. Yeah. Snowball, like a snowball's chance, if ya get the idea. It's a part of the whole test thing, I have to make it back with the cat. I'd thought I'd lost her though. I guess she's just better at this than I am."

The driver looked dubious, but resigned, and just rolled the window back up and drove on down the road.

Xander looked at the cat in his lap, then at the road now swiftly unwinding behind them, and thought back through LaCroix's memories of Toronto, trying to figure if there was any easy way he could get back to Sunnydale if he was stuck in Canada without any money or even real clothes. Not that the memories of a fictitious character would likely have much bearing on the real world. But at least he wasn't still in Hell.

Chapter 2

Who needs an Emperor's Wardrobe?

Xander jerked awake as the red pickup truck came to a stop on the outskirts of Toronto. Blearily raising himself from the bed, he felt the recently named Snowball shift on his legs, then look up at him.

The truck was entering a genuine city area. It was approaching early afternoon, and Xander had no idea what he was going to do once the driver got wherever it was he was going.

Before drifting off to sleep, Xander had been reviewing what he could remember of the fictitious Toronto from LaCroix's memories, trying to come up with some sort of plan of action, and failing miserably.

His main obstacles, as he saw them at the moment, were a complete lack of, well, everything.

He had a bit of lizard jerky and some water left in his pack. He also had some herbs he could use to make tea, several tools, and a sword. Noticing Snowball looking at him from his lap, he added "and a cat" to his mental inventory.

What he certainly lacked was any form of identification, any sort of currency, or any clothing he could possibly hope to use to blend in in a modern society.

His first goal should be to get with the blending. Failing that would result in the local police arresting him, and things could only go downhill from there. So blending was important.

Deciding not to wait until the kind stranger driving the truck had gotten to any specific destination, Xander gathered Snowball in his arms, and as the truck started to move after the next stop, he leapt over the tailgate, and ran down a side-street, ducking out of sight down an alley as quickly as he could.

Ok, to start with the blending. He sat down against the brick wall of the alley, and tried to think of a way to get clean clothes without having to resort to out-and-out theft.

Buying clothes in a store required money, and gaining money generally required an exchange of something, often labor. But no one would hire Xander the Wild Crazy Man, and he didn't have anything of value on his person he would be willing to trade.

So what could he do?

Snowball started squirming in his arms, so he set her down on the asphalt next to him, softly telling her, "Now be careful there, Snowball, don't get lost or run over by a car or anything. Just because this isn't Hell doesn't make it safe, especially for a little cat like you."

That said, he resumed his thinking. He needed to get clothes, and to get some sort of job so he could get enough money to make his way back home to Sunnydale. And he would need a place here to stay while he was busy making that money. Someplace with a shower. He really could use a shower, not having had one in what felt like years. Baths he had occasionally managed, either in a stream, or on rare luxurious occasions, in a tub or pool of one sort or another, but an actual shower, he could only recall having one since he had left Sunnydale so long ago. He really missed Showers. And Twinkies. TWINKIES! HE COULD FINALLY GET TWINKIES AGAIN! Of course, first, he needed some sort of clothes. Back to that again. "It's not like I can just magically make a new set of clothes appear" he mused aloud to himself.

"Merou?" Snowball queried, looking up at the soft sound of his voice.

Suddenly, Xander followed a random memory in his head, and came up with a possible idea.

While he had never done it himself, he recalled clearly how the Immortal Alexander, who he had pretended to be on Halloween way back when had used his quickening to power a low level glamour spell which allowed him to appear to age. Because he tied it to his quickening, the spell didn't require any external supplies, and wouldn't wear out or fade unless he acted to change it, or he took a head. He had himself practiced glamours while trapped in Hell, using them to camouflage himself when needed so he could get some rest, or when he needed to hide for one reason or another. A simple landscape glamour, and he was practically invisible, as long as he didn't move. That had been a truly useful trick, and was one of the reasons he had managed to survive as long as he had.

So, what if since he couldn't get appropriate clothes, he instead used a glamour to change their appearance. Unless someone touched him, or rather, his clothes, that should work.

A first step now apparent, Xander closed his eyes and began the first step in such a glamour spell – visualizing the end result. Rather than just placing himself in jeans and a t-shirt, he went a bit further, wrapping an illusion around himself, from the tips of his boots, which he replaced with apparent tennis shoes, to the top of his illusorily well groomed hair. He even expanded it behind him to cover his backpack, and totally hide his sword.

A model now firmly tied into his mind, he stretched out and firmly grasped the power of is Quickening, and applying it in that way he could never describe, he wrapped himself in Power. And when he was done, to anyone who looked, Xander had resumed the appearance of a normal late 20th century teenager.

Opening his eyes, he found Snowball looking up at him with what almost looked like surprise in the cat's eyes.

"Did it work?" Xander asked the cat, before looking around to try and spot any nearby reflective surfaces.

The cat seemed to nod before wrapping herself in his feet as he went to stand up.

Snowball looked up at him and merowed softly, so he bent over and lifted her up in his arms again, before making his way out of the alley.

A careful inspection in the front window of the restraint beside which he had been sitting proved that to his own eyes at least, the glamour seemed to be working.

Now he only had to find a place to get a shower, then find some place to get a job, and a place to stay while he saved enough cash to pay for getting back to California. No problem.


	5. Knight Errant Parts 3, 4, & 5

Chapter 3

All washed up.

It was late afternoon when Xander came across a possible solution for the next part of his problem – his odor. A glamour can fool the eyes, but to fool the nose you would need a whole other series of spells.

And while he now looked clean and presentable, anyone who hadn't spent the last several years in Hell would be certain to notice a certain, stench, in his presence.

He was pretty sure that had more than a little to do with the reason the kind stranger who had offered him the ride that morning had not so obliquely recommended the back of his truck, and not the passenger seat of his cab.

But where there is water, there is an opportunity to bathe. And he had just found himself a park. With a lake. Filled with water.

Granted, he couldn't just wander over to the edge of the lake at the moment, and wade out into the water to get clean, but if he could manage to wait 'till nightfall, when the people using the park left, he should find ample opportunity to not only wash himself, but to also launder his clothing and pack, rinsing as much of the dirt, grime, and most importantly, stench, out of his clothes as possible.

With the rest of the night for him to let his belongings dry, he should be in a position to start looking for an actual job in the morning.

He was estatic.

And Snowball seemed to be pretty happy playing amongst the foliage at the edge of the small lake.

Xander took the time to lay back on the soft grass, and enjoy the peaceful sunshine on his body as it peeked through the branches of the trees above him.

Trusting that his internal clock would awaken him by sundown, Xander let himself relax once more, enjoying the fact that he was no longer in Hell, and he drifted off to sleep again.

Xander realized he wasn't simply dreaming anymore. This was something different. Something familiar, yet not.

A figure was before him. It looked like that of a young man, and he was smiling at him. "Alexander, there you are."

Xander looked at the familiar face, then suddenly it clicked. He had indeed met this person before, in a similar dreem. "Janus?" he verified.

Janus smiled, and turned his head, his face swiveling around to be replaced by that of a middle aged woman, who continued to smile at him as she said, "Yes, Champion. I am glad to see you have escaped from Lucy's domain. I had never intended you to go there. But once you had, there was nothing I could do. By the compact you had to get out by yourself."

The head turned again, the woman's face being replaced by that of a grizzled older man, and Janus continued speaking, "…but you did. And you managed to rescue Bast's daughter. I can't tell you how proud of you I am about that. Even the PTB were surprised by that one. They are still trying to figure a way to get their own champion back, you know. They are a little miffed that you managed to get out before he did."

Xander was confused by this, "Bast's daughter?"

The head turned again, this time displaying the face of a young man about Xander's age, "You are calling her, 'Snowball' I believe. Don't tell me you thought she was just a normal cat, especially after how she opened the portal to get the two of you out of there, and then jumped in to help you in that fight in the clearing when you two first arrived here."

Xander was now really confused, his mind flashing back to the fight, and the large black saber-toothed cat which had attacked the hell hound while he had been busy fighting the demon, and he asked, "That was snowball?"

Janus laughed, and answered, "She seems to like you, which is good, as she may be able to help you get back home. But her name isn't really Snowball. Unfortunately, what it is isn't really pronounceable by humans, so Snowball may have to do for now, since she seems content with it."

Xander found a new question on his lips, "Uh, how can Snowball help me get home, I mean having to carry a cat around would seem to be more of an impediment than an aid, you know?"

Janus shook his head, and then turned it to present a face belonging to a middle aged man, and he replied, "Alexander, the portal 'Snowball' opened to get the two of you out of Hell didn't lead to your original world. I think she tried, but she didn't really understand what exactly she was doing. No, the world you are in now is nothing more than a myth where you belong, and yours is even less than a myth here, at present. Some day the myth of Buffy The Vampire Slayer will come to be known here, but not for several years yet, local time. And even when it does, the tales which will be told here won't be those of your specific world, but rather of it's sibling. No, my Champion, you are much farther from home than you can presently imagine. But I have confidence that you will make it back. And be better for the journey."

Xander was stunned at this disclosure. "Uh, can't you just send me home?"

Janus tuned his motherly face towards Xander, and replied with a gentle smile, "I could. But I won't. Life is a journey. And this journey, it is life. Your life. If I ended it before it's time, I may as well simply end your life. And I am too proud of you to do that. No, I will keep a watch over you, and guide you where I can, but it is you who must find your way back to where you came from. And I know you will do so. I have confidence in you, you will succeed in your journey, your life. And you will continue to make me proud of my Champion. You can do nothing less, it simply isn't in you."

With that the figure of the god seemed to fade away, the world dissolving into mists, as something sharp poked into his chest.

Opening his eyes, he found himself staring into Snowball's two green orbs. Her eyes almost seemed to glow as they reflected the light from the fading sunset.

"Bast's daughter?" Xander asked, more to himself than anything.

Snowball seemed to understand though, nodding her head, then leaping off his chest to land on the grass beside him.

Refreshed by his second peaceful nap that day, Xander rolled to his feet and proceeded to dig the last of the dried lizard out of his pack for supper. Tearing off a strip he offered a bit of the dried meat to Snowball, but she simple shook her head, almost as though saying, "No thanks, you eat it." Before turning and scampering off to vanish into the foliage at the edge of the lake.

As he chewed on his "meal", Xander took the opportunity to examine the immediate area for other people. Seeing that it seemed relatively deserted, Xander began to pull all his spare clothing from within the pack, and lay it out, along with the small bit of soap he had left, so he could start washing both himself and his clothes as soon as it got a bit darker.

After all, if as Janus had said this wasn't really his world, who knew what would come out after the sun went down around here. He decided that as soon as he and his clothes were clean, he'd find a nice tree to fly up into to stay the night out of sight and out of reach. He would then start looking for a job in the morning. Hopefully he'd find something right away, as he was now officially out of food.

Chapter 4 – Deja-Who?

Dawn found a still slightly damp Xander laying on a large branch near the top of a tree at the edge of the lake, several articles of clothing draped haphazardly over the various branches around him, and Snowball curled up on a crook in the branch somewhat closer to the trunk.

The first rays of sunlight tickling his eyelids was enough to stir him from his light slumber, and he immediately set about collecting his scattered belongings and stuffing them, despite their remaining moisture, back into his pack.

Once that was completed, he lifted Snowball, who had awoken at his movements, into his arms and floated them back down to the ground. A quick trip to the public restroom, where Xander used the facilities and verified that his glamour was still in place, and he was ready to start his job hunt. A soft tug from his stomach reminded his that he had finished the last of his food the night before, thus adding to the impetus to find a source of income as swiftly as possible.

Walking through the city, with Snowball carried gently in his arms, Xander marveled at how familiar everything seemed to look. It was almost as though he had been here before at some point in time. Nothing really jumped out at him though so he dismissed the seeming recognition to just the standardness of seeing an actual city after twenty years in Hell.

He still had a few obstacles to getting a job. Namely the fact that he lacked any sort of identification. People didn't just hire total strangers off the streets these days, requiring identification, social security numbers, stuff like that. Add in the fact that he wasn't even in the United States, but in a different country, even if it was Canada, and he would find any above-board job next to impossible to get.

One thing he had discovered that day was something he was still having a hard time wrapping his mind around – the date.

According to everything he could find, it was June, 1995. And that made absolutely no sense. Because before he had spent about twenty years in Hell, it had been May of 1998, so adding perhaps twenty years it should be sometime in 2018, not 1995.

Perhaps that was what Janus had meant that his universe wasn't even a myth here yet. Although based on the other tidbit dropped, he had ducked into a video store and looked at the titles. And had come to a complete halt when he found a particular video – "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" staring Kristy Swanson as Buffy, and Donald Sutherland as Merrick, the man Xander knew had been Buffy's first Watcher. From the description on the back the movie was based loosely on when Buffy had been called, and how she had ended up burning down the Gym at Hemmery High school. But the really weird thing was that the movie was made in 1992, and Xander knew for a fact that those events hadn't happened until 1996, which would mean that if this was really 1995, that there should be no way a movie could be out detailing the exploits of said future events.

Thinking about it just gave him a headache.

And didn't get him any closer to finding a job.

His walk through the hauntingly familiar Toronto had taken him most of the day, and as evening approached he found himself moving almost automatically, following a route from the police station he had been before a while back which made him remember flashes of LaCroix's equally fictional childe Nick, who before his death at LaCroix's hand had worked as a detective at a station which looked just like that. Perhaps it was the one they used to film for the TV show, Xander had thought, trying to slot the familiarity of a fictional location into the real world around him.

At this point though, he was making his way through the darkening streets, wandering in an unconscious yet comfortable pattern, until suddenly he came upon a sight that stopped him in his tracks.

It was a club. But not just any club. No, this club was as familiar to him as The Bronze. No, make that more familiar to him than The Bronze, it was as familiar to him as his own home had been. Because in LaCroix's memories it had BEEN home. The Raven.

Approaching the front door of the faux Vampire Club, Xander reached out a tremulous hand, and pushed gently on the door, almost hoping it was locked. But as it started to move, he realized he wasn't quite that lucky, so heart beating in his chest, he proceeded to push the door further, and made his way inside.

Chapter 5 – Family never met.

Even as he walked into the club, Xander could feel the presence of a vampire.

Looking around the empty room, Xander marveled at the similarity of what he saw, and what LaCroix remembered.

Thus, it wasn't quite as much of a surprise as it may otherwise have been when the very vampire who's memories he shared emerged with a curious expression on his face from the door behind the bar.

"I'm closed" he started to say, then came to a complete stop, and simply stared at Xander, an unaccustomed expression combining confusion, alarm, and surprise flashing across his face for a moment.

LaCroix was confused. That was the smallest part of it.

He had heard the front door open, and thinking it was one of the deliveries he had been waiting for, had come out to sign whatever papers needed confirmation of receipt.

Instead he had found a young man wearing jeans and a t-shirt, with a backpack overone shoulder and carrying a cat. No, he amended as he got close enough for the rest of his senses to come into play, not a man, but a Vampire. With a heartbeat. One which felt very old, older even than himself. And which smelled of family, specifically, he almost felt as though this strange not-quite-vampire should be one of his children. But he had never seen the young looking man before in his life.

"Can I help you?" he asked the stranger.

The person before him looked him in the eyes, and whispered so low the vampire could barely hear it, "LaCroix." Apparently the man before him had him at a disadvantage.

Xander looked into the eyes of his supposedly fictitious Master, and felt his paradigms shift once again.

The reason this Toronto looked so familiar was because it was. And the reason for that was because it was not fictitious, at least not here. Here it was real. Instead, based on that DVD he had seen earlier that day, HE was the one who was fictitious. And yet, still here he was. 'I exist, therefore I am' he reminded himself, as he amended his worldview to accommodate the apparent facts. Everything Janus had said the night before now made perfect sense. He really was farther from home than he had ever imagined he could be.

But at least he now knew where he really was. And as he had told the never identified man who had given him a ride to the city the day before, to know where you are going you first need to know where you are. So his journey home had finally begun.

Now all he had to do was figure out what to tell LaCroix.


	6. Knight Errant Part 6 – Interview

Part 6 – Interview with a Dhampire?

Xander stood before the ancient vampire who's memories shared his mind, or at least a version of who's memories shared his mind, and watched the expressions flit across his face, as he tried to puzzle out Xander's identity. "Can I help you?" LaCroix asked.

Xander offered up a lopsided grin, and replied, "Uh, yeah, um, could I have a job?"

Of all the replies LaCroix may have anticipated from his mostly polite question, that was at the very bottom of the list, assuming it was even on it at all.

He was so unprepared for such an inquiry that he simply stared at the young-seeming possible human in silence, until that is the quiet was broken when the man-in-question's stomach decided to grumble about it's currently empty status.

Xander looked down past Snowball at his traitorous stomach and frowned. Finally giving in to the inevitable, he looked back up and continued, "If things here are as I recall, your bartender would have left about this time, leaving you a bit short-handed. And as for me, well, I'm more than a bit short of resources at the moment. My options as I see them are either find an honest job where I can work more or less under the table, or resort to out-right crime to obtain money. And I don't really fancy myself as a successful criminal type, at least not for anything as mundane as simple survival."

LaCroix again examined the person before him, before asking, "As you recall? And who are you that I should care to hire you, be it above or below any tables?"

Xander smiled, and shifted Snowball fully to his left, before extending his right hand towards LaCroix and answering, "Xander, well, technically Alexander Harris, but please, call me Xander, and I am sort of your Childe. Almost. In a weird way."

LaCroix had already started to take the man's hand, when he heard the last part and stopped. The hand in his own was warm, and the heat was not just a remnant of that from that infernal cat he was carrying. LaCroix could almost feel the blood pulsing below the man's skin. Which belied his claim of being LaCroix's Childe.

LaCroix decided to stop this dancing, and tuning in to the man's heartbeat, he paced his own energies to what his son Nichola called the 'whamie' and asked in a level tone, "Who are you, and what do you hope to gain by claiming kinship to me?"

Xander looked him in the eyes, his own eyes flashing silver for a moment, and replied, "As I said before, my name is Xander, and I hope to get a job so I can get some food, find a place to stay, and try to figure out some way to get back to my own home. I am stranded here, and am not sure even how to proceed, but in the short term I need sustenance and shelter. And your Jedi Mind Tricks won't work on me, Old Man."

LaCroix felt a shudder pass through him as his intended target simply shrugged off his attempt at control as though it was less than non-existent. Giving up on trying any sort of control, and deciding that whatever the person before him was, it certainly was not a normal Mortal, LaCroix ignored the minor flash of irritation from the Star Wars quote and instead asked, "What are you?"

The man smiled sadly, and answered, "I am a man. Beyond that, I am the Champion of the god Janus, and as a result of both circumstance and his choices, I hold the powers and of a Primal Hyena spirit, as well as both the powers and memories of a mythological Immortal mage and warrior, who had been brought across by, and endowed with the memories of his also fictitious Sire, an ancient vampire named Lucien LaCroix. But here you stand, so obviously, not so much with the fictitious."

LaCroix blinked at that declaration, but before he could say anything more, Xander continued, "To make matters even more confusing, the memories of the LaCroix in my head end later next year, with his going on a bender after regretfully and reluctantly destroying his childe Nichola, at his own request."

LaCroix crossed the space between them in a second, his hand reaching for the throat of the person before him in a flash of vampiric speed and strength. And he missed.

LaCroix simply stared at his outstretched, empty hand, before looking at the human now standing casually off to his side, just out of arm's reach. Whatever he was, he certainly wasn't human.

"Um, please don't try and ill me. I know from your memories exactly how important Nichola is to you, and well, considering that what I remember hasn't even happened yet, I don't see any reason why we can't try and prevent it. Granted, it's not really an apocalypse, like I and my friends back home used to find ourselves thwarting, but it is sort of a prophecy, and I hate prophecies. Always have."

LaCroix continued to stare silently, his mind a turmoil, until the man's stomach rumbled again.

Raising an eyebrow, LaCroix queried, "Are you hungry?"

The cat blinked at him, and the man smiled another lopsided grin, "You could say that- I used up the last of my rations for supper last night, and well, without money, not really able to wander into any stores to buy a pack of twinkies, let alone sit down for a nice meal in a restaurant."

LaCroix considered this, then offered, more to test a theory than anything else, "I have uncut blood, if you want?"

The man's face paled, and he shook his head, "Uh, not quite that hungry, yet. Thanks for the offer though."

"How about a steak. I have a few in the freezer, I suppose I could thaw one out and cook it…." LaCroix considered aloud, "Say in exchange for your full story. And after that, I'll decide whether to offer you my protection and a job."

The man grinned widely, and said, "That sounds like a deal, although I won't promise to tell you my whole story. The parts dealing with you and yours though, and bits of how I got here, where I came from, that sort of thing, as long as I can't see it harming anyone, I'll gladly share."

LaCroix, never one to like limitations on anything, nonetheless agreed, saying "Ok. Follow me." And lead the way back into te smallish kitchen attached to the club. Mostly used to microwave appetizers served to placate the mortal clientele, as promised the freezer offered up a nice steak, which soon was moved from the microwave to the grill, as a plate and cutlery were gathered, and a place set at a counter.

As the steak cooked, the man began his story. "Well, I suppose all the weirdness in my life began with a girl. Doesn't it always?"

LaCroix listened as the man before him told how he came to know a young lady who was called as a Vampire Slayer, and how together they fought off an attack of soulless demonic vampires, quite unlike his own kind. He listened to the tale of how the boy had inadvertently staked and killed his best friend since childhood, how he had later come to be possessed by the spirit of a Hyena Primal, and how the possession had later been lifted, then, the most interesting part to LaCroix himself, the tale of that later Halloween, and how the young man had dressed up as an ancient Immortal version of himself, and like the much of rest of the town had been changed into his costume, loosing all awareness of who he had really been, and becoming for all intents and purposes the person he had pretended to be.

He listened as the youth retold his alternate persona's encounter with the sasquatch like demon, and how as he lay waiting for a temporary respite and the swift healing afforded his kind through death he had been approached by a version of LaCroix, apparently another costume possessed citizen, and thus his persona had ended up being brought-across. Only not quite as intended.

He went on to describe how as a result of his First Hunger he had nearly drained his Sire, unconsciously partaking of the elder vampire's mind and memories at the same time, while the Immortal's perfect recall recorded it all a clearly as the persona's own fictional history had been.

He then went on to describe how he had used his new gifts to inadvertently track down the cause of the night's events, and had ended the spell, only to find himself chosen as champion by the very being who had empowered the spell in the first place.

The tale then continued, the level of interest for LaCroix dropping as the man told of how he fought a second Slayer, and how that fight resulted hi her becoming some sort of super-powered demonic vampire, and how the two after that clashed several times to no sure outcome. How one of the boys friends had lost his own soul, and had rejoined his vampiric family, and the combined group had repeatedly attempted to terrorize the small town under his protection, or simply end the world, but again and again were thwarted by the actions of the man before him and his remaining friends.

LaCroix's interest was again peeked though when the tale got to the point of the final apocalyptic battle, wherein he finally managed to kill the super-vampiress, and at the last moment close the portal to Hell, although both he and his now re-ensouled friend had ended up getting sucked through it for their efforts.

The tales of Xander's time in an actual Hell certainly garnered the elder Vampire's complete interest, so much so that neither of the two noted as the rest of the Raven's staff arrived and moved around them preparing the establishment for it's normal evening activities.

Finally the tale wound down as Xander explained his last adventure, the rescue of the cat which sat curled up in the man's lap, apparently paying as much attention to the story as was the vampire. And then he got to his arrival here in Toronto, his nocturnal visitation from his patron god, and his eventual arrival here at the Raven. All in all the story had taken over three hours from start to finish, and during that entire time LaCroix had remained uncharatistically silent.

Finally, after the man had finished his story, he simply closed his eyes and let his mind run back through the high points of the story, while he pondered what to do, and how he could use this to his advantage.

Finaly he made up his mind. "Ok. I'll give you a job, and even let you stay here at the Raven for now – I have a few unused apartments above the club, other than myself and my daughter Janette's. It has never been worth it to rent them out as the privacy was more important than any income we may have derived from them. I'll figure out what your salary will be after I deduct rent. So you can go and get some decent clothes, I will go ahead and front you an even two thousand dollars, which I will take back $500 at a time from each of your first four weeks paychecks. Tips you keep regardless. Any questions?"

Xander was amazed. Just like that the vampire had eliminated most of his problems. Now all he had to do was go out and find some new clothes. And some Twinkies.


	7. Knight Errant Part 7 – Not the Twinkies!

Part 7 – Not the Twinkies!

Despite the late hour, Xander had been able to find a S-Mart and had joyously started spending the money LaCroix had fronted him. Several pairs of pants, a few regular T-Shirts, both of the Hawaiian shirts he found acceptable, socks, three pairs of shoes, and two large cases of Twinkies, along with assorted foods of lesser importance, including a few cans and boxes of cat food he hoped Snowball may find acceptable – he had yet to see the cat eat a thing, and was starting to grow concerned for her – and he was in the check-out stand.

He had left both cat and backpack in his new apartment, a relatively small two bedroom furnished unit with access to both the inside of the Raven, and the upstairs rear exit. Compared to the last actual place he had – his room in his parent's house back in Sunnydale, it was enormous. But even more important to him was the fact that it had a bathroom. With both a shower and a tub. It actually had two bathrooms, one attached to the master bedroom, which included a seemingly decadent roman Jacuzzi type tub and a separated glassed in shower, and the other a more normal rectangular shower/tub combo with a pair of sliding doors.

All in all, compared to his personal experience, it was beyond luxurious. Granted, when compared to the memories from both Alexander and LaCroix it wasn't quite as impressive, but it exceeded his expectations by so much that there was no describing the joy being able to call such a wondrous place "home" brought him, it was almost as much as no longer being in hell did. And when he combined those two thoughts, he was almost giddy. Especially considering that only inches away from his fingertips was the final proof he truly was no longer in Hell – a box of Twinkies. All he had to do was wait until he was out of the store, and they would be gone. He could almost taste them. What could be better?

Unfortunately, Xander merely considering that things were taking a turn for the good seemed to tilt the balance of the universe at large, and even as his turn before the register arrived, so did the gunmen.

There were four of them, all wearing back ski-masks, black nylon windbreakers, and carrying uzies of all things. Xander's first thought was "How cliché can you get?"

"Alright, this is a robbery" one of the first in the door shouted needlessly, apparently to inform any others in the building of an equally low intelligence as his own of the situation.

As his three fellows took up positions along the row of cash registers, the first gunman pointed his weapon at the cashier before Xander, and started to pull the trigger.

Xander reacted, almost without thought.

Leaping the counter, he knocked the woman out of the way, leaving the box of Twinkies she had been about to scan literally hovering in the air so swift was his movement.

Even as the gun boomed out, Xander had leapt up again, launching himself at the gunman but keeping carefully of the path of the bullet, which inadvertently splattered the falling Twinkie box. As he flew through the air, Xander reached behind his back and pulled his sword, and as his trajectory carried him past the gunman, the metal flashed out, and severed the shooter's gun arm at the shoulder.

Rebounding off the wall behind the registers, Xander aimed himself like a living missile at the next closest assailant.

Another flash of steel later, and a second robber had been disarmed.

Landing against a check-out register, Xander reoriented on the last two invaders, then launched himself once more into the air, even as the furthest of the two started to shoot his weapon at a woman standing in the other open line.

Xander's sword flashed once in passing, and the closer of the two joined his fellows as the blade once again detached the weapon-wielding limb, but he was too late to stop the bullets already in motion from catching the screaming customer in the shoulder, spinning her around and knocking her to the ground.

The fusillade of bullets ended however as Xander's trajectory finally took him within range of the final gunman, and his blade did it's job for a fourth and final time, removing the limb and it's associated weapon from the equation with simplicity.

As he came to a rest against the doors through which the gunmen had entered mere moments before, Xander pulled a rag from his pocket and calmly wiped the blade while he examined the scene, and returning the blade to it's scabbard on his back.

The four attackers were all standing around in shock, blood pouring from their wounds, the cashier he had knocked out of the way of the first shot was only now starting to peek over the counter to see what was going on, while the woman who had been shot was screaming and writing on the floor in pain, her shoulder obviously hit at lest two times. It had been less than three seconds from the time the first shot had been fired.

Xander immediately moved over to the woman on the floor, ignoring for a moment the bleeding men behind himself, as he tried to ascertain what sort of first aid he could provide for her.

"Oh my god" one of the other customers shouted, before falling to the floor in a state of shock.

As Xander looked around for something to use to staunch the flow of blood from the woman's shoulder, he heard one of the former gunmen falling from either shock or blood loss as well, and reminded himself that they were human, even if scum, and he should try and save their lives as well.

Grabbing a stack of towels from the cart of a woman a bit further back in line, he placed them over the shoulder of the screaming gunshot victim, and pushed her husband's hand down on top of them, telling him "Hold these here. Firmly."

Turning back towards the four former gunmen, he noted one was grasping onto his forearm just above where his blade had severed the arm. The one who's shoulder he had sliced was laying on the ground, the stump gushing blood, while the one who had lost his hand at the wrist was still just staring at the missing appendage, trying to equate what he saw with reality as he knew it. The final gunman was trying on his own to affix a tourniquet made of his belt around the bleeding stump of his arm, although with only the one remaining hand was having a hard time of it.

Xander moved to assist him first, placing the belt around the remnant of the arm and pulling the strap tight, then handing the end of it to the man's grasping hand, before tuning towards the assailant laying unconscious on the floor, surrounded by the largest pool of blood.

Grabbing some plastic strapping from a trashcan under the closest checkout stand, Xander made a quick tourniquet and applied it to the remaining stump of the arm, where it protruded from the shoulder.

Cinching it as tight as he could, he grabbed a second piece and looped it around the wrist of the second assailant, who was continuing to simply stare at the bleeding wrist, then cinched it tight as well, before turning to the last man, who was still trying to staunch the flow of blood with his left hand alone.

A final plastic-strap wrapped around a bloody stump, and Xander turned back towards the still moaning gunshot victim.

Leaning over her husband's shoulder, Xander examined the rate of blood flow, and noting the sound of sirens in the distance, decided that she would likely be alright.

Leaning over her, he let his mind reach out to hers, and locking her gaze he told her, "Relax. The pain is not important. Everything will be ok. Just relax." He felt her letting go of the pain in her shoulder, and settle back underneath her husband's ministrations, her face softening from the grimace to a more peaceful expression.

A hand roughly grabbed his shoulder and jerked Xander away as a voice shouted, "What the hell is going on here?"

Xander's first impulse was to grab the hilt of his sword to face this new challenge.

He instead looked into the eyes of the visibly upset store manager, and once more used his mental influence to settle the situation. "Everything is ok. The situation has been dealt with." He said, calmly.

The manager repeated what Xander had said, word for word, his voice almost sounding flat and emotionless, "Everything is ok, the situation has been dealt with."

Looking over at the splattered mess by the checkout counter where he had been getting his stuff, Xander added on impulse, "I could use a new box of Twinkies. The old one has been ruined."

The manager seemed to brighten at those words, and speaking as though voicing his own thoughts, said in a more normal tone, "You could use a new box of Twinkies. That one is pretty well ruined. I'll be back in a bit." With that the manager headed off towards the S-Mart's food isles, a new concern replacing the concern over the carnage at the front of his store.

Xander turned and made his way back to the checkout counter, where the girl he had saved was how standing, having a silent panic attack. "Hey." he greeted her.

"Oh, hi. Um, a." she replied, looking around at the mess.

"The manager is going to get me a replacement box of Twinkies", Xander said, gesturing at the spattered remnants of his old one on the wall beyond the counter, crumbs of golden cake mixed with shredded paper and plastic, and a liberal dose of creamy filling offering a start counterpoint to the splattered and pooling blood elsewhere at the front of the store, "Do you want to finish ringing me up before the police get here, as I think it'll probably get kinda crazy as soon as they arrive, and I really do need this stuff." Xander used a bit of mental influence as he said this, hoping that with a familiar task at hand that it would help her settle her mind and stop thinking about how close she came to being splattered instead of the Twinkies."

"Oh, yeah, I suppose I should." The girl said, picking up the next item from the conveyer belt and scanning it into the register.

The doors opened to admit the first uniformed police even as the checker was giving Xander the total. It was in to this incongruous scene that the first pair of officers to respond walked. A customer was holding out cash to a checker, who was bagging items in front of a wall covered with the remnants of an exploded box of Twinkies. The store manager was making his way through the crowd towards that same customer, carrying another box of Twinkies. 2 people lay on the ground, missing limbs tide off by crude improvised tourniquets, while a third sat on the floor, his back against the wall, just holding his now detached hand and looking at it, while his own tied off wrist laid dripping blood into his lap, and the fourth just stood there, a belt tied around his arm looking like he hadn't quite figured out what to do yet. Also on the floor, in addition to the 3 remaining detached limbs were four Uzis, and a woman who had obviously been shot at some point, blood pooled around her while her husband pressed a bloody towel against the wound to help staunch the flow of blood, and she calmly looked up at the ceiling.

To say they found it more than a little disconcerting would be an understatement. The fact that neither one of them noticed that the customer in the process of paying for his purchases had a sword on his back might be understandable, but the simple fact is that both of them SAW the sword, yet at the same time neither of them NOTICED the sword. And the same thing happened with every one of the EMTs, other uniforms, and later the detectives when they arrived on-scene. All of them saw the sword on Xander's back, but none of them really paid it any more attention than they did the shoes he was wearing.

After paying for his purchases, Xander, along with the rest of the witnesses gave his statement. After which, as a material participant, he was politely shuffled over to one side by the officers, and handed up to the Detective-in-charge of the scene. It was here amazingly that he hit his first snag.

"Mr. Harris, while it is entirely proper to disarm potential assailants, removing their arms is not generally what the phrase referees to – as a rule you are supposed to remove their weapons, not their limbs." The detective was explaining.

Xander was pushing bask as smoothly as he could mentally, trying to avoid the scene becoming any more of a scene than it already had. He had found out earlier from the other officers that the perpetrators in this robbery had previously hit seven other locations, and had left over twenty dead at the scenes of their previous crimes. The fact that they were known killers had helped him ease the concerns about their mutilation significantly in the minds of most of the officers, however this particular detective still took offence to the extent to which Xander had gone to defend himself and his fellow customers, as well as the various S-Mart employees.

"I understand that, Detective Murray. But I really didn't have any time to do anything else. Even as it was, Mrs. Carmichael was shot. I can only imagine what they would have done had I not acted. I know Stacy would be splattered instead of just my Twinkies on that wall back there", Xander said nodding at the mess behind his register, " but other than her, I am not sure who would have been shot, but I am sure that someone would have. In my mind it is far better that they lose their hands as a result of their own actions, than someone else be killed. And it could have been worse – they could have lost their heads instead. Trust me, I was tempted."

The Detective nodded at this. Xander's mental influence subtly smoothing his emotions so that he didn't even question why he hadn't asked to take the sword from the young man before him, or even to see actual identification to verify the youth's identity. After all, everyone here agreed that he had acted heroically, both when the gunmen attacked, and in the immediate aftermath, seeing to the triage of the injured, and even settling the manager and his cashier by setting simple, familiar tasks before them to help calm their nerves while awaiting the arrival of the authorities. Xander, for his own part was noticing the subtle lack of attention everyone was paying to the blade on his back, which was no longer concealed by a glamour as it had been earlier. And yet people seemed to se it, and then just ignore it. It was very odd.

He turned suddenly towards the doors as he felt the arrival of a vampire. Looking through the congregated police and crime scene investigators, he noted the arrival of a pair of familiar faces, yet faces he had never seen before in his life – those of detective Nick Night, and his partner Tracy Vetter.

Noticing Nick's sudden interest in his vicinity, Xander drew upon Alexander's abilities and much as the older Immortal used to suppress his quickening to avoid detection by others of his kind, Xander worked to compress his aura, attempting to quelch any ability Nichola may have to detect him as anything other than a normal human. Much like the glamour he still wore, Xander tied this "suppression spell" into his quickening, although whether it would work as well or not he wasn't sure. He knew from experience both with Buffy way back when, and later from attempting to avoid detection during his stay in Hell that it should work, at least from a distance, but under specific inspection, he had no idea, as that had never been tested before.

Tracy and Nick walked into the crime scene where apparently the four armed robbery suspects had met more than their match earlier that evening.

Nick had no sooner entered the building than he detected another vampire inside somewhere. Following his senses, he looked towards a group of officers and a single civilian, a civilian wearing a sword on his back.

Even as he nudged Tracy, the sense of the vampire seemed to writhe and fade away, as though it had never even been.

"Yeah Nick?" the blonde asked him.

"Um, over there", he said, pointing at the cluster of officers and the civilian, "tell me what you see?"

Tracy looked and then answered, "I see a young man being questioned by a detective and some officers with a few bags of stuff at his feet. Why?"

Nick raised an eyebrow, "And what is on his back?"

"A sword. That means he's probably the one who stopped the Perps here a while ago. I ask again, why?"

The other eyebrow raised. "Don't you find it unusual that he is wearing a sword on his back, when several people were just mauled by a man with a sword, according to the reports?"

Tracy frowned, then looked back at him, "Your point? It looks like a nice sword. Goes well with his shirt." She said, as though wearing a sword was perfectly normal for young men in Toronto.

"Um, and the fact that none of the officers have attempted to disarm him doesn't strike you as even the least bit odd?"

Tracy looked at him like he was crazy, then answered, "No, why should they? He obviously knows how to handle it, if the reports are to be believed."

Nick now knew that something was up, but for the life of him couldn't figure out what. It was almost like Tracy was under a whammy to ignore the sword. Yet there was no way anyone could have spoken to her about it before, and that was discounting the fact that Nick KNEW Tracy was a resister, and thus immune to the whammy.

Deciding to find out what was going on, Nick crossed the room and approached the detective and the young man he was questioning.

"...understand is why you decided to act in the first place, and do so so violently." The detective was asking.

The young man smirked with a lopsided grin and replied, "'Cause he shot my Twinkies. And I've been wanting those Twinkies for more years than I care to think about. As I said before, they were lucky they didn't loose their heads."

Nick reappraised they youth before him, pegging his biological age at less then twenty years, probably closer to eighteen if he was any judge. Still, the man could conceivably be as old as his early twenties, but the way he said 'more years' made it seem like he had been craving Twinkies for longer than he should have been alive. Assuming he was alive. Nick thought back to the vampire he had sensed on his entrance to the building, but a more careful examination of the man before him showed that he was indeed breathing, or at least pretending to do so, and Nick was pretty sure he could hear a heartbeat. But this man was just too much of an enigma to let pass without a far more through examination.

"Excuse me, Mr?" Nick asked, reaching out a hand to shake.

"Harris. Alexander Harris, but please, call me Xander, Detective Knight." The man said, taking the outstretched hand in his own. The warmth of the man's hand almost shocked Nick as much as the man's using his name.

The other Detective picked up on the use of the name, and asked, "Do you know Detective Knight, Mr. Harris?"

The man released Nick's hand, as he casually replied, "No, I've never had the pleasure of meeting either Detectives Vetter or Knight. But I know of them from a mutual, er, acquaintance."

Tracy was finally starting to feel something up, and decided to open her own line of enquiry, "Who is that, Mr. Harris?"

The man grinned again, and responded airily, "Oh, my Boss and Landlord, Lucien LaCroix."

Both detectives took a breath, and then Tracy asked, "Boss?"

"Yep. Just started working at the Raven tonight. Haven't really started yet though, and will likely be late for my shift at this point, since I am still here, and I walked over. I had planned on being back by now, but alas, I figured these folks would like as many questions answered as possible. So I stuck around." he said, gesturing at the officers in the cluster.

Tracy nodded, then glanced at her partner, "Perhaps we could, offer you a ride back to the Raven? Let LaCroix know why you were detained.?"

"A ride would be nice." Xander replied, then looked at the lead Detective, "I can go, yes?" he asked in a way that caused the hairs on the back of Nick's neck to itch.

The other detective simple blinked, then shook his head and replied, "Yes, you can go. Have a good evening, Mr. Harris."

With that, Xander picked up his bags, being certain he had the replacement box of Twinkies, and followed the other two outside towards the detective's large Cadillac.


	8. Knight Errant Part 8 – The New Job

Part 8 – The New Job

They had barely made it out the door of the S-Mart and into the parking lot when a ripping sound drew the two detectives attention towards the young man.

He had balanced all the bags in one hand, and with the other was fishing a Twinkie out of the box still inside one of the bags.

Slipping the plastic covered cake out of the box, he tore it open with his teeth, then slid it out onto his thumb and first three fingers while keeping the bag trapped with his last two fingers of his left hand – an amazing display of dexterity.

He then extended the hand towards Tracy, who almost automatically took the cellophane bag extending towards her, before he smiled and said "Thanks" then lifted the Twinkie up to his nose. He seemed to be content merely to smell the golden cake for a few moments before opening his mouth and shoving the entire thing in at once.

His eyes closed in obvious bliss, and he moaned in contentment as he chewed the mouthful for a few moments before finally swallowing.

Neither Nick or Tracy had ever seen anything remotely like this before.

"Damn I missed those." He said, finally opening his eyes and looking around the parking lot. "So, who's got shotgun?"

Tracy noticed that the guy was heading directly towards Nick's caddy, as though he had no doubt in his mind which of the several cars in the parking lot they would be taking to the Raven.

"Why don't you take the front" she said, looking down at the Twinkie wrapper still clutched in her hand.

"Ok" the man said, slinging his bags into the back seat, and catching Tracy's eye as he asked, "You don't mind watching my stuff, do you?"

Tracy felt the intensity of his gaze as she shook her head, then climbed in the back next to his purchases. "What all did you get, other that the Twinkies?" she asked as she watched him fish a second cake from the opened box as he sat down in the front of the car.

"Just about everything. Clothes, shoes, rain jacket, some towels, a few groceries, and some cat food."

Nick who had just started to pull the car out of the parking lot slammed on the brakes and turned to look aghast at Xander, asking "Cat food?"

Xander nodded, "Yeah. For my cat. She's gotta eat something, ya know?"

Nick blinked, then asked, "Does LaCroix know you have a cat?"

Xander shrugged, "He should, I had her in my arms when I met him, and he saw me leave her in the apartment when I took off for the store. Why?"

Nick started the car moving again, muttering "LaCroix hates cats."

Xander shrugged and turned back towards the road.

Tracy asked from the back, "So, have you known LaCroix long?"

Xander honestly answered him, "In a way. I met him long ago, but really tonight was the first time we ever were face to face that he could recall."

"But he gave you a job, and you're staying at the Club. I didn't even know there were apartments above the club, other than LaCroix's. Do you know him very well?"

Xander grind and answered, "Over the years, what with all I've learned, it seems like I know just about everything about him."

Nick looked over and asked, "Everything?"

Xander shrugged, and said softly. "Floure? Diva?"

This got a sharp glance from Nick as they turned into the alley that led behind the club.

Xander looked at the back stairs, and grinned at Nick as he popped his door open and climbed out, "This is my stop," he said then offering a second grin to Tracy he reached into the back for his assorted bags, and said "Thanks for the ride. I'll see you around, ok?"

Tracy nodded, then got out of the back to retake the front seat in Xander's absence.

Nick offered a parting shot, "Just in case they forgot to tell you, don't leave town Mr. Harris."

Xander just waved as he hefted his bags in both hands and started making his way up the metal steps to the upstairs door at the back of the club.

Once back in his apartment, he ate another Twinkie, set out the various cans of cat food, ate a fourth Twinkie, sorted his new clothes on the bed, selecting a dark pair of jeans, a black t-shirt, and appropriate undergarments, which he took into the master bathroom, consumed a fourth Twinkie, then opened one of the cans of cat food and placed the contents on a plate before plucking Snowball off the couch where she had been watching all his activity with a calm gaze, and placed her before the plate on the counter. "Eat" he commanded, before ducking into the bathroom to luxuriate in a warm shower, something he had missed for years.

After his shower he got dressed then headed back into the kitchen, where he snagged a sixth Twinkie out of the box and tore it open, noticing with a bit of worry that the cat food was still untouched on the plate, as he bent down to tie up his new shoes.

"Uh, Snowball, you know you are supposed to eat, right?" he asked the cat, who simply looked at him.

"Look," he said, pointing at her, "Cat." Setting down the half-eaten Twinkie on the cellophane which had once contained it, he picked up the empty cat food can. Pointing at the picture on the side, he indicated the photo of the happy cat enjoying a bowl of cat food, "Cat eating food." Finally, pointing at the dish, he ended with "Food."

Snowball looked at the plate of meat disdainfully, then looked back up at him. "Darn it", Xander said, worrying about how to get a cat to eat, "You have to eat something!"

Snowball looked at him again, then over at the Twinkie on the counter. Before he could react, she walked over and started licking the filling out of the half-eaten Twinkie, then munching the rest of the cake, all the while issuing a loud contented purr. "Great," Xander muttered to himself, snagging the last four Twinkies from the box, he slid two into the pockets of his jacket, opened the third and placed it on top of the cellophane on the counter, then opened the final one and started to eat it himself, as he continued muttering, "Of all the cats in the universe, I have to find the one that eats Twinkies."

Arriving downstairs, Xander made his way from the backrooms into the club proper, and searched around to spot LaCroix.

He could feel several vampires in the club, as well as a fair mix of humans. No demons though, which somewhat surprised him, until he reviewed LaCroix's memories and realized that actual demons were very rare in this world. After so long in Hell, and his time on the Hellmouth before that it was somewhat of a surprise.

Finally sensing his "Sire" more or less in a booth to the back, Xander made his way over to where LaCroix was doing his nightly broadcast.

He made a point to stand before the glass until LaCroix looked up, and spotted him with a look of surprise on his face, before resuming his broadcast monologue.

It was several minutes later that LaCroix finally emerged from the booth and made his way over to where Xander stood against a wall observing the crowd in the club. "Looks like about a sixty-forty mix of vampires to humans tonight" he said to LaCroix softly as the elder vampire came up beside him.

The ancient nodded at his new acquaintances observation before flatly demanding, "Why don't I feel you?"

Xander blinked, then looked at the vampire before asking "Excuse me?"

LaCroix felt a flash of annoyance, and stated, "Your, aura, I suppose. It is entirely human. I don't sense you as anything other than a normal mortal. That was not the case earlier. If you have attempted to deceive me…"

Xander's expression suddenly brightened, and he said, "Oh, that. I kinda went under-cover. I had a little trouble when I went to the store, and well, Nichola showed up. I decided to, conceal my nature from him so I used an old trick I practiced well while in Hell to disguise myself, in a way. I thought it would be better than having him worry at a Vampire with a pulse. Considering his obsession and all."

"Nichola has met you?" LaCroix hissed.

"Yeah, he and Tracy drove me back from the store." Xander explained. "I didn't really tell them much, just that we've just met, however I've known you for a long time, and I let him know as subtly as I could that I knew all of your history, so he wouldn't feel the need to try and warn me off or something. I thought I would let you decide exactly what and when to tell him, since he's your Childe and all."

LaCroix found he couldn't fault the other's choices, so he settled his turbulent emotions, and instead gestured towards the bar at the front of the club. "Are you ready for me to show you around, and make the proper introductions to the staff?"

Xander just looked at him and smiled, saying, "You know that I know this place pretty much as well as you do, including the people and what needs to be done. Granted, the memories are a bit, dated, at times, but everything is there. Even the things which have yet to happen, assuming that events follow those which occurred for the LaCroix I met."

"An eventuality I believe we agreed to do our best to prevent." LaCroix hissed, reminded about the foretold deaths of his son and his partner.

Xander nodded and replied, "Well since I don't recall myself ever turning up, and actually remember that you were without a bartender for quite a while still, I can say that things should be changing already. I just hope that nothing changes for the worse. But all one can do is what one is capable of, as I, or at least a part of me, always has said."

LaCroix nodded at that and lead the way to the bar.

As they passed through the room, LaCroix gained the attention of both Urs and Vanessa, two of the waitresses, and they gathered at the counter where Miklos joined them.

"People, I would like you to meet Xander Harris, our new bartender. He will be taking Pete place, and reducing the load on Miklos.

Urs smiled at him while the large Miklos appraised him as though trying to figure how many seconds it would take to smear him into a paste, and deciding the number was too small to contemplate. Vanessa just looked at him once, and dismissed him as obviously unworthy of her time.

"If that's all, I have customers to take care of" she said, looking at LaCroix for permission to depart.

Miklos also looked like he felt his time was being wasted, but at least his deference to LaCroix kept him from voicing his attitude. Only Urs seemed to take any interest in the new employee. She however got a suddenly concerned look on her face, and turned to LaCroix and asked, "Uh, Boss, what about the House Special?"

Xander piped up, saying "Would there be a letter preference, such as a, b, or o, and would you want it cut or uncut? I can also make some... interesting bloody marys."

Miklos looked back at Xander when he said this last part, wondering just what the boy meant, because he knew full well it couldn't be what it sounded like. After all, he could tell as well as the next person that this youth was just a mere mortal

LaCroix just smiled back at Urs, and replied, "Oh, he is fully aware of both our stock, and our clientele. And he should be more than able to handle himself with either. If I am mistaken on this, I will be severely disappointed."

Miklos spoke to LaCroix in halting Latin saying essentially, "Why didn't you just kill him already, I don't know if it is worth the time to turn him even. As a fledgling he wouldn't make it a week. As a mortal he won't make it the night, even without a fight. The Enforcers will not tolerate a mortal working here."

Xander just offered a lopsided grin in response to his new Boss's claims, then turned towards Miklos and said in Greek, "I know I may not look like much, but if you really want, I can kick your ass after we close tonight. However I hope we can avoid making a scene in front of the customers. As for the Enforcers, I will handle them if I need to. Do you really think so poorly of my Sire that he would hire a mortal, or if he chose to do so that he wouldn't make sure that that mortal could avoid sullying his reputation?"

Miklos scowled at that, mildly impressed at the apparent youth's ability in Greek, and based on his response to Miklos's comments probably in Latin, however he dismissed the fool's claims that LaCroix was his Sire, but he could not understand what his employer hoped to gain by placing an obviously delusional mortal behind the bar in his club.

He did however figure that he had known LaCroix long enough to be certain that there was some sort of plan behind his actions. LaCroix did nothing with out a reason, often without several layers of overlapping reasons, most of which could not be deduced even long after the fact.

Urs gave Xander one more worried smile before turning back to her own customers.

Xander moved back behind the bar, and to Miklos's surprise started taking orders without even asking where the stocks were stored. He seemed to have an almost perfect understanding of where the various bottles were stored, and what was in them.

After a bit Miklos decided LaCroix at least knew what he was doing in allowing this mortal to mix drinks. And it was a help, after Pete had left to move back to Montreal, Miklos had been trying to cover all the orders, from open to close, six nights a week, with LaCroix and the girls filling in the other night, and when he needed a break or something.

Te various vampire clientele apparently thought the mortal bartender was a interesting toy, and were trying to stump him with exotic orders. Some of the more obnoxious ones started asking for specials, and were more than a little surprised when he delivered.

Not only did he deliver, on a few occasions he made up what he called a special special, such as his bloody marys, which he tweaked in ways Miklos had never heard of – such as adding some of the liquid from a jar of salsa to the blood while mixing the lemon juice, tomato juice, along with the usual vodka and tabasco sauce and a bit of ginger. The vamps who tried it seemed to like it, a lot.

The first sign of trouble didn't come until almost 1:00am, when Antonov, an older Enforcer who had always disliked LaCroix, and had been trying to find a good excuse to destroy Nicholas for years came up to the bar.

Looking at the new mortal bartender, he asked, "What are you doing there?"

The man looked back at the vampire and dismissively replied, " Has your brain finally atrophied after twelve hundred years of disuse? What does it look like I'm doing? I'm working, making this lovely lady one of my specials."

The vampires whom he was currently mixing a drink for smiled at the compliment as she took her beverage, while the scowl on the face of the enforcer just froze solid.

Miklos realized that the human had made a very fatal error in taunting the old Enforcer. He wasn't sure what LaCroix had planned, but he didn't really belive it was to simply have this mortal get himself killed. But apparently that was what was about to happen.

He watched as the Enforcer's eyed glowed with a soft golden light and the Enforcer said in a cold yet smooth, soft, and powerful voice, "You will come out back with me, now."

Xander looked at him and shrugged, almost as though ignoring the powerful compulsion, as he replied, "Sure. Miklos, I'm going to go outside with the old idiot here for a bit. You ok to watch the bar by yourself?"

Miklos couldn't even speak, so stunned by the mortal's idiocy. He simply nodded.

Xander headed towards the back door, the fuming Enforcer following, while a few of the closer and more annoying vampires trailed after him to watch the obvious destruction of the night's entertainment, all a part of the show as far as they were concerned.

Urs saw what was happening, and waved over Vanessa, telling her to go and tell LaCroix that Xander had apparently already run afoul of Antonov, and was being taken outside. Although to her it almost looked more like Xander was the one taking Antonov, the foolish boy.

Xander led Antonov into the same alley where Nick had dropped him off earlier that evening.

He noticed the small crowd which had followed Antonov out and looked at them, saying, "Uh, folks, this isn't a public show. Go on back inside before things get nasty out here."

Some of them turned around, but most of them stayed, wanting to see the bloodshed.

Antonov was already livid, and his fangs fully descended, his eye glowing an almost orange color with his rage, he demanded, "How do you know of our kind?"

Xander shrugged, answering, "I suppose my Sire told me. How do you know of us?"

The vampires in the group almost laughed at the silliness of the mortal calling himself one of them.

Antonov however saw no humor in the situation at all, instead demanding, "And who would this Sire be?"

Xander again shrugged, as though the query was of little or no consequence, answering, "Lucien LaCroix, of course. Who is yours? And you never answered my first question, about how you found out about vampires?"

Antonov was practically trembling in a combination of rage at this mortal before him, and almost orgasmic joy at finally having something to use against LaCroix. There were several witnesses to the mortal's caviler claim that it was LaCroix who revealed their kind to this mortal and failed to follow the code by either killing him, wiping his mind, or bringing him across. Behind him he could hear the crowd of vampires whispering to one another, this wasn't quite as bloody as they had expected it to be, but with the performance being put on by the mortal, it was nonetheless entertaining. And the thought that LaCroix could so blatantly break the code was simply... stunning.

"Do you know of the code?" Antonov asked, his smile turning quite evil.

"Which code, is it one of those I need a ring to figure it out? You know you STILL have not answered my questions. I know that use it or lose it is more than just a phrase, but still, how bad can you be? Who was your Sire, and who was it that first told you about vampires?" the stupid mortal said with a particularly annoying grin, almost as though he was taunting Antonov.

Antonov had had enough, and moved at full vampiric speed to tear this mortal apart with his bare hands. He reached out to grasp that grinning face, and shred it as a starting place, only to find himself suddenly on the other side of the alley, his own face smashing painfully against the bricks making up the far wall.

To Urs, who stood in the back of the small crowd of vampires, it almost looked like one of those stop-motion special effects from the TV shows like Bewitched. One moment Antonov was lunging at the poor boy Xander, and the next they were both several feet away, Xander apparently propelling Antonov into the wall with enough force to displace the bricks and leave a dent in the wall.

Xander stepped back and the Enforcer fell to the floor of the alley looking stunned.

The rest of the small crowd watched in stunned silence as the mortal then lifted the body of the Enforcer off the ground with one hand and held him up like a wet towel covered with a particularly stinky slime of some sort at arms length. "I will ask you again, who was it that told you of Vampires? I asked you politely, old man. I answered your questions. But you would not answer mine. If you can not recall it your self, then I will have find out for you."

The crowd then actually backed away as they saw the seeming mortal open his mouth and start to drain the Enforcer, his own fangs sinking deeply into the old vampire's throat.

Finally, he cast the body aside, and looked down at it, his back to the crowd as he spoke, saying "Romonov. The vampire who sired you was a gypsy named Romonov. You will remember that. In fact, why don't you say that from now on. ROMONOV" he yelled.

With that he turned around to face the group of spectators. "He attacked me, everyone saw that, yes?"

At a few nods he went on, "I told you there was nothing to see here. Now GO BACK IN SIDE."

The spectators, other than Urs almost stampeded in their efforts to get away from the mortal who had drained an Enforcer. Enforcers were the strongest and fastest of their kind, and it was well known that an Enforcer could not be beaten by a normal vampire of the same age, or even slightly greater.

Urs, the sole remaining spectator watched as Xander wiped the remaining blood off his face with the back of his hand, then locked eyes with her. "Why are you here, Urs? This doesn't seem like something you would want to see?"

Urs shrugged, answering. "I was worried about you. I guess I shouldn't have been. What are you?"

Xander shrugged in return, "A vampire. A man." Looking over his shoulder at the figure only starting to stir from the alley floor, he shrugged again and almost whispered, "A monster."

Urs shook her head, replying "If you can think you are a monster, then you aren't. The true monsters can never even conceive of themselves as such.:

Xander smiled a bit shyly, then said, "Well, I suppose it depends on your definition of monster."

Urs nodded and then gestured at the slowly moving Enforcer, "You didn't kill him. I'm pretty sure you could have."

Xander nodded at that, then replied. "I know. I lost my temper. He made me mad, so I didn't kill him. And that's why I think I may be a monster."

Urs was confused at that, wondering what he meant, when the door to the club opened, and LaCroix stepped out, seeming unsurprised to see Xander still alive in the alleyway.

LaCroix looked around, taking in the dent in the far wall and the crumpled form of Antonov, slowly pulling it's self to it's feet, then asked, "What happened our here?"

Antonov was the first to reply, saying simply, "Romonov."


	9. Knight Errant Part 9 – Holy ––––!

Part 9 – Holy !

Miklos watched as the crowd which had gone outside to watch the Enforcer deal with the mortal bartender surged back in. 'It must have been really bad' he thought to himself, a bit sadly. He had been starting to like the kid he was surprised to find. He would actually miss him. He still wasn't sure what LaCroix had been up to, but using the kid that was kind of made him mad.

Urs hadn't come back in yet, he noted with a bit of worry. Hopefully she hadn't gotten involved somehow. He spotted the Boss finally heading out back to see what had happened.

The next time the door opened, Miklos was more shocked than he had been at any time since first being brought across. Xander just walked back in through the door, alone, and looking none the worse for the wear.

Miklos watched as the kid crossed the floor, the few vampires who had been outside seeing him and actually moving away from him, as he made his way to the bar.

"You ok?" Miklos asked as the kid approached.

Xander just shrugged, then slid back behind the counter and took up the position he had been in for most of the night. "Ask me later, after I've had a chance to think."

The door opened again, and Urs and LaCroix came back in, following a shaky looking Antonov. Antonov peered around the club, until his eyes came to rest on Xander standing behind the bar, right where he had first found him. His face flashed with anger.

He stalked across the room, almost oblivious to his obviously weakened state.

Pushing a customer who had just started to place an order out of the way, he looked at the kid and said, "Romoniv."

His face darkened more, and he opened his mouth again, this time shouting, "ROMONIV!"

Xander looked a bit guilty for a moment, but then seemed to reconcile something within himself, and looked at the vampire before him. He spoke with a soft, smooth voice, almost as though using a compulsion on the Enforcer, as ludicrise as that would be, "Go home. Never come here again. Leave myself and Lucien and his family alone forever. GO."

More astonishing was the sudden blank look Antonov got across his face, before turning and making his way though the crowd towards the exit. In his weakened state he tripped over a larger male vampire along the way, and in way of apology said to him, Romonov." before moving off.

Miklos just looked at the retreating form before reappraising the youth beside him. "What did you do?"

Xander shrugged and looked a bit sad, "I lost my temper. I should have just killed him. As I told Urs, this is worse. I probably still should go put him out of his misery. But you know, I'm still too mad. Damnit."

Not really understanding, Miklos let it slide, and got back to work, Last Call was coming up.

Xander stumbled a bit as he entered his apartment. It had been a long day, from anyone's perspective. Finding out you are in a universe which in your own is merely fiction, then encountering a version of the supposedly fictional character who changed your life forever, getting a new job and a place to stay, then while getting supplies finding himself embroiled in a brief yet vicious assault on the store, in the aftermath he was forced to use compulsion on some of the officers to prevent more problems, an ability he hated using due to the moral implications he always felt afterwards. Then starting the new job, which wasn't that bad, until that damn fool of an Enforcer decided to use him as a part of his idiotic game against LaCroix. And then for the first time in years, Xander had actually lost his temper, and this time had not held back on using the Compulsion. The damn idiot enforcer would find that the only word he would ever use again, be it in speech, writing, or any other form of communication would be the surname of his Sire. That truly was a punishment which outweighed the crime of trying to use Xander to get at LaCroix. But at the moment, Xander really couldn't care.

As for the other vampires who watched the fight, he wasn't sure what to do now. He had intended to keep his vampiric status quiet, so that the knowledge that a living vampire existed wouldn't get back to Nichola. But now it was likely to become even more widespread, after all, a seeming mortal bested an Enforcer. And drained him. Then used compulsion on him, in full view of several witnesses.

Xander wasn't sure what the other Enforcers would do about that, either. Antonov certainly wouldn't be able to give any sort of report. Worse, if they try to take the incident from his mind through the blood, the vampire who does so will likely fall victim to Antonov's curse as well, since it has more of a mystical component to it than a simple vampyric compulsion.

That may present a problem, because the Enforcers may find it really disturbing that Antonov's blood is apparently contagious. And with the last compulsion added, any who fall victim to the curse will now also find themselves avoiding LaCroix and his family, and wanting to stay at home as much as possible. What the heck was he thinking? In all honesty he wasn't. He was just reacting, in a rage. He had learned the hard way during his stay in hell just how bad things could get when he succumbed to his darker side. He had meant it when he told Urs he was a monster. He truly was his father's son. Granted, that side of his personality was usually kept on a tight leash, but the cold blooded bastard was still a strong part of his core personality, even if he was repressed most of the time.

Snowball greeted him at the door, winding around his feet until he bent down and picked her up.

The cat purred at him as he idly scratched her, carrying her past the empty counter in the kitchen and into the bedroom.

Dropping the cat on the bed, Xander pulled off his clothes, leaving only his boxers on, and climbed into the bed, shutting off the light.

Snowball climbed up on top of his chest, looked him in the eyes before gently licking the tip of his nose one time, then walking down him and stopping at the base of his rib cage, where she curled up into a rumbling ball of warm fur, which he absently petted while he fell asleep. It had been a really long day.

"Congratulations, boy. You really impressed her." Janus, with his fatherly face said, looking down at Xander.

"Um, impressed who, and how?" Xander asked.

"Bast. She came to me, about her daughter. At first she wanted you destroyed but the girl apparently argued with her mother." Janus said.

"Destroyed? Why?" Xander asked, having no clue what they were talking about.

"You unselfishly saved her daughter from certain death. That made her life yours to claim. Bast wanted you destroyed before you could try to take advantage of her daughter, only the fact of our relationship and the fact that you were my champion stopped her from acting immediately. Instead she talked to the girl, and then did some research on her own, ignoring what the others were telling her about you."

Xander looked even more confused, "Others?"

"The Powers, mostly. They really don't like you. They've been badmouthing you since you wrecked their plans by bringing Buffy back. At first they tried to get the fates to cut your skein short. When that didn't work, they started a publicity campaign, trying to paint you as the worst being to exist since Lucifer decided he could do a better job than the Boss."

"Oh." Xander said, not really sure what to make of finding out he was talked about by higher powers on any sort of basis.

"Anyhow, after some research and speaking with her daughter again, she came to me, and we agreed. And it was her idea. So I say again, Congratulations."

Janus then turned his head for the first time, presenting the middle aged woman's face instead of the fatherly one, and said with a smile, "I think you two make a cute couple."

With that Xander was dropped back into a more normal, and less deity infested sleep.

Late morning found Xander slowly waking up in a soft warm bed for the first time since before he went to hell.

Even so, Xander thought to himself, this was a much nicer bed than any other he had ever slept in. It was so warm and the silk sheets so smooth, and the girl wrapped around him didn't hurt either.

Suddenly his brain stopped for a moment. It backed up, emitting a safety beep for a few feet, then started forwards again. Opening his eyes he did a mental inventory of what was and what should be. Warm blankets, check. Soft pillows, check. Silky smooth sheets, check. Blonde hair attached to a very female form pressed against his side, with arms hugging around his torso, check sum error.

Looking at the softly snoring girl wrapped around him, Xander tried for the life of him to place her face.

And failed miserably.

Her face was round, with one of the smallest (and cutest) noses he had ever seen. She had a shell-like ear slightly high on the side of her head that he could see, with the top more pointed than rounded, although it was nothing like an elf's or a Vulcan's. It was well within what he would consider human norms. In any case, he liked the cute way it pointed out of her light blonde hair.

Her breathing was soft, with a rumbling, almost subsonic snore to it which he found strangely soothing. And each inhaled breath remained him how female she was, as her breasts smashed softly against him in a soft waxing and waning pressure, almost reminiscent of waves on a beach.

And he was certain he had never laid eyes on her before in his life.

Apparently he had moved too much because the snoring stopped with a sudden hitch, and a pair of large green eyes silted lazily open to look at him. Meeting his gaze, a smile bloomed on her face, and she moved to place a delicate kss on the tip of his nose. "Good morning" she said in an almost musical alto.

Xander was at a loss for words. In all the memories in his head there were none which could guide him in what to do when awakening to find a beautiful woman in your bed whom you have never met before.

"Hi." he eloquently replied.

Smiling again, she sat up, taking the covers with her, where they pooled in her lap, leaving her torso naked, and she then lifted her arms over hear head, her breasts thrusting out firmly as she stretched luxuriously, slowly rolling her head around from side to side on her neck before lowering her arms and shaking her head furiously side to side, her hair flying about her face for a moment. Then she looked back at him with a smile, and climbed out of bed, and headed towards the kitchen, with not a stitch on at all.

Xander was once more rendered mute as he watched her naked backside retreat into the kitchen.

Her voice floated back from the kitchen as she started banging things around in there, "Why don't you get ready while I make breakfast."

Xander could do no more than act as she commanded.

After catching a quick shower and tossing on a clean set of clothes, Xander followed his nose into the kitchen, where he found a breakfast he knew hadn't come from his meager supply of groceries, nor could it have been prepared while he was in the bathroom.

There were pancakes with blueberry compote, sliced ham, and even scrambled eggs with cheese and sausages in them.

The girl had managed to find clothes from somewhere, her delectable form now covered in a simple pair of jeans with a blue v-neck tank top framing her cleavage. Her hair had been pulled back in a ponytail, with the tips of her ears barely peeling out at the sides of her head through the hair.

She smiled when she saw him come into the room, and said "Here ya go, Xander. Breakfast fit for my king."

Xander eyed the scrumptious smelling food for a moment, then turned to the girl and asked as calmly as he could, "Uh, not to sound rude or anything, but who are you and how did you get in here? If Lucien sent you..."

The girl grinned and shook her head, her ponytail flopping down her back and said, "Lucien? Xander I've been with you for 3 days. You only met this Lucien yesterday."

Xander's brain finally clicked on a few things, including the dream from last night, and suddenly he realized, "Uh, you're the cat? Snowball?"

She grinned and leapt at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him on the mouth in a startlingly good kiss. "And the man wins the prize." She said, giving him a second kiss.

"Um," Xander said, trying to restart his brain after the blood loss inspired by the kiss, "But you're a cat."

She shook her head and grinned at him, "No I'm not. Well sort of, but mostly I just like being a cat. Sometimes. And I was sort of stuck. For a while. But the spell finally wore off, and I'm back to me normal again."

"Uh, spell? Stuck? Sort of?"

She pulled herself out of his arms and led him over to the table. "Sit. Eat. I'll explain."

As Xander sat down and started on the pancakes, the girl sat down across from him and put her elbows on the table, and leaned forward somewhat, providing Xander with a distracting view of her cleavage. "Ok, I know Uncle Janus told you who I am. I was there when he did so."

Xander stopped eating for a moment, chocking as a piece of ham started down the wrong pipe before backing up and heading back towards where it belonged, leaving a burning feeling in his chest. "Uncle" he gasped out.

The girl pouted cutely and shook her head softly ."Not really. At least I don't think so. Mom would never tell me who my Father really was, so for all I know he COULD be my Uncle, or even my Dad, but for as long as I've been aware, he's been my Uncle Janus to me."

Xander took this in, and decided he could risk another bite. First though he took a drink of the orange juice to lubricate his throat a bit, as he was suddenly feeling a bit parched. "Ok, I think I have it. And Bast is your Mom, right?"

The girl nodded. "Yes. Bast, or Basthet as some of her followers call her is my Mom. If you don't know, she was worshiped by the Egyptians, and other people in the Nile region. They worshiped her as the goddes of dance, fertility, prosperity, and she's a sun goddess. Ra is my Grandfather. Oh, and I have a big brother, Maahes. He's kind of protective. Not surprising since he's worshiped as the Lion God of War and Protection. He wanted to kill you, but I talked him out of it. Mom finally agreed, and he's ok with you now. But don't be surprised if he drops by some time to meet you and check up on me."

Xander was lucky she hadn't timed that last bit wrong, as he had just finished swallowing the last bite of pancakes. A few moments earlier, and he certainly would have choked again. "So, that makes you a..." Xander trailed off, unable to say the words.

The girl shrugged, "Goddess? Yeah, I suppose so. I don't have any worshipers though, so it doesn't really mean much. But Yeah, I guess I could qualify for a temple or two if I wanted the bother."

Xander blinked at her, then reiterated the thought stuck in his head, "If you're a Goddess, then..."

She waved her hand, "Heh, it's no big deal. I mean, lots of folks might call you a God, if you wanted them to."

Xander wasn't sure how to take that, saying just "Huh?"

"Oh, come on. I mean, just look at you. To start off with you're Immortal. Pretty much impossible to kill, even with beheading, in case you didn't know. Oh, that'd slow you down for a while, but given enough time, or some help and you'd be good as new. Then there's the speed, the strength, your senses, add in your ability to fly and even Superman might get jealous. That's without even considering your ability to manipulate minds or drain memories, or your magic, the potential of which you've barely even tapped, regardless of what you may think. At a minimum you should qualify as a demi-god. All you'd really need is some good PR and some devoted followers. Maybe a priest or two."

Xander wasn't sure what to say to that. He was pretty sure he wasn't even close to being a god, in anyone's book, but he couldn't find any flaws in the girl's statement at the moment.

The girl just smiled at him, then said, "There is more you know."

Xander blinked at her and replied, "More? Your big brother is a war god, your mother, if I recall correctly was well known for smiting, whether it was infidels or just opponents of Egypt, or of Ra, I seem recall lots of smiting not dancing, and you're a goddess yourself, who I thought was a cat. And now you say there's more."

The girl shrugged, and said, "Do you remember what Uncle Janus said last night?"

Xander thought back, "Oh yeah, the higher beings talk about me, I have my own smear campaign running amongst the celestial hosts, and something about a cute couple?" Xander's voice raised about an octave at the last part of that as he remembered it.

"Yeah, that more. I'm sure you weren't aware, but the debt you incurred when you rescued me, by my people's customs, says I'm yours. That's why my Mom got so upset. She and Maa were getting ready to kill you before you had a chance to take advantage of me. Fortunately as soon as we were through the portal I was able to contact them and talk them out of it. I would have hated to get into a fight with both Maa and Mom."

"Maa?" Xander asked, confused again.

"My big brother. I told you about him. The over-protective one."

Xander nodded

"Anyhow, I talked to them, and told them I liked you, and asked them not to do anything. Mom decided to talk to Uncle Janus, since you were his Champion, and see what he could tell her about you. The fact that you were in Hell was a strong point against you, but when she found out how you actually got there, it changed to as strong a point in your favor. Finally I convinced them, after I was able to tell them the whole story you shared with LaCroix yesterday afternoon, that you weren't bad. So they agreed, and Mom spoke to Janus, who accepted her offer, and now I'm your wife."

Xander blinked again, and then ran what she had just said through his head a few more times, trying to find where he was mistaken in what he thought he had heard. Eventually failing he said, "Wife?"

She grinned and nodded, "Well, technically betrothed, because we haven't actually consummated the marriage, sleeping together doesn't actually count as sleeping together, if you know what I mean, but for all intents and purposes, I'm your wife. Unless you just want me as your slave. I mean, that'd fit with the customs as well, but I didn't think you would want a slave. Do you?"

Xander was still trying to fit his mind around the situation. This girl was telling him she was a goddess. And was his wife. Or his slave, if he preferred. And he didn't even know her name. "Uh, I'm not sure if I asked, or if you told me and I missed it, but if I did I'm sorry. But, uh, what is your name?"

The girl beamed at him and said, "Snowball. How could you forget, after all, you gave it to me."

Xander shook his head then said, "No, not what I called you as a cat. Obviously you aren't a cat. And I can't keep calling you Snowball."

She frowned a bit at that, and said, "Why not? It's the name you gave to me. Snowball is a really nice name."

Xander felt exasperated at the entire situation and started to snap, "For a cat, yes. But you're not a cat!"

Her frown turned to a scowl, her eyes literally flashed, and suddenly she was gone. In her place on the kitchen table was the same white cat he'd been hauling around for the past few days. She just looked across the table at him, said, "Merow.", and took off for the bedroom, the door slamming closed behind her.

And Xander pondered how he could ever have thought his life would get easier after he was out of Hell. He almost wished he was back there. At least back then he was still single.


	10. Knight Errant Part 10 – Domesticated

Part 10 - Domesticated

Xander sat in the living room of the small apartment looking at the closed bedroom door, wondering exactly why he felt guilty.

It wasn't like he'd done anything to feel guilty about. All he'd done was ask the girl her name, and tell her that Snowball wasn't a good name for a girl, that it belonged to a cat.

So what did she do? She turned into a cat, and locked herself in his room. Leaving him out here to clean up the remains of the breakfast she'd managed to get him from somewhere, and trying to figure out what he'd done wrong, and how to fix it.

He'd knocked on the door once, then tried to open it but it was locked. He'd tried calling through the door to say he was sorry, but that didn't seem to work either.

All he could think to do now was to leave, and hope she settled down soon. Hopefully before her brother Moo or whatever came by to check on her. All he needed was an overprotective war god brother on his case for making his baby sister mad somehow.

Finally giving up, he walked over to the door he'd been glaring at for the last half hour, and knocked on it once more. "Hey. Snowball. I'm going out. If you want to sulk in here all day that's fine. But I've had enough of feeling sorry I want you to have a prettier name for a prettier girl than the one I would have given you as a cat. Hell, If I'd known it would cause a problem like this, I'd have just called you 'Cat' and left it at that. I'm sorry, ok?"

He turned away and was in the process of opening the front door to head out towards the back stairs when the bedroom door opened softly behind him, and he heard the girl's voice call out softly, "What did you just say, Xander?"

Sighing, Xander turned back towards the once more human looking girl, and said, "I said I was sorry, and that I just thought you deserved a prettier name as a person than Snowball."

The girl shook her head, and said, "No, after that."

Xander shrugged, thinking back, "I said that if I had thought it'd cause a problem I'd have just called you Cat and left it at that."

She smiled at him, her whole face seeming to light up, and she said, "You can, if you want. I wouldn't mind, I guess."

Xander wasn't sure what she was saying, but seeing her smile he really didn't care. However he decided he needed to take a chance and try to clarify whatever it was she was talking about before he went and either upset her or made her mad at him again later. "Um, I can what?"

"Call me Cat."

Xander felt a wash of relief flood his system. Cat was a much more normal name for a girl than Snowball. Granted, calling a cat Cat would seem stupid or uncaring to some people, so perhaps he could work out a compromise. He should make sure now, before he got in trouble later. "Uh, ok. I'd like to call you Cat, at least when you look human. Do you want me to stop calling you Snowball when you look like a cat?"

She giggled, and asked, "So you want to call me Cat when I look like a girl, but when I look like a cat you want to call me Snowball still?"

Xander shrugged, "I just don't want to call you 'Hey You' all the time. But your name is your choice. I'll call you whatever you want, even if I look like an idiot doing it. Just please don't get mad at me."

She shook her head, "I'm not mad at you. I was upset that you didn't want me to be a cat. Because if you didn't want me to be a cat then I'd have to give that up, and I like being a cat. It's a part of who I am. It always has been, for as long as I can remember."

Xander shrugged, and said, "I don't want you to change who you are, and I'm sorry if you thought I did. That wasn't what I meant when I said Snowball was a good name for a cat. I didn't mean you couldn't be a cat. I just thought you deserved a human name for when you weren't a cat. And all I did was make you mad at me."

She crossed the room in a flash, although not quite literally, and threw herself into his arms, grabbing him around the neck and kissing him soundly once more.

"Thank you, Xander." She said.

Xander was confused again. Snowball, or Cat, whatever he called her, was the most confusing person he had ever dealt with. But her kisses were certainly very nice. He could get used to those very fast.

Cat finally broke away, breathing deeply, then looked up into his eyes, her own shining with happiness again as she asked, "So where are we going today?"

That was a good question. Xander hadn't really had any plans for the day, he was just tired of being in the apartment. It was already early afternoon, and he was supposed to be ready to start working at six that evening, but the next five hours were his to do with as he, or rather, he thought taking in Cat's face, they choose. "Uh, do you have any recommendations?"

Cat smiled, then said, "How about shopping. I know you got some clothes last night, but nowhere near enough. We can go to stores and see what looks good on you, then I can be proud of you while I watch you work tonight."

Xander was leading the way towards the rear stairs when she said that, causing him to pause, "Uh, watch me work?" he asked.

She nodded, "What, do you want me to stay in the apartment all night? If you really do, then I will, but otherwise, well, I just figured, I mean, I can maybe help out. Cary drinks for the vampires or something. I could even help out as a bouncer if they need me to. I'm pretty strong, compared to a vampire you know."

That wasn't something Xander had even thought about. Up 'till now he had been considering his interactions with the vampires as they effected himself alone. Of course, up till now he'd been considering Cat as well, a cat.

If Cat wasn't a cat, then she would end up having to interact with LaCroix at the very least. More than likely she would end up having to deal with others as well. And sooner or later, they'd want to see some identification on her. Himself as well, although as he had proved to himself the night before, if he was willing to use the mind control mojo in the people in charge he could just as easily make them believe they had seen his ID, checked it out and fount it to be good.

But what about Cat. If she wasn't with him, what would she do?

"Uh, Cat, I think I know what we need to do today. We need to go see a vampire named 'Aristotle' He sets up the other vampires here with fake IDs, so that they can get by in modern society."

"So? Why would we need to see him for that?" Cat asked, genuinely confused.

"Um, incase someone wants to see your ID?" Xander explained.

Cat shrugged, and pulled a wallet out of a back pocket he knew for sure had been empty before she got it, since he had been kind of checking out her rather nice butt as they walked to the mall.

Fishing inside it, she withdrew a Canadian driver's license and ID card. The name on the card read "Cat S. Ball" it listed her age as twenty two years old, and showed her residence as the apartment above the Raven.

Xander raised an eyebrow at that, and said, "Ok, perhaps you don't need to go, but I will."

With a shrug, Cat dug in the wallet again, fishing out a second card. "Here" she said, passing it to him.

Taking this card, he saw it had his face on it, with his name listed as "Alexander Harris", aged twenty two as well, and showed the same address as Cat's ID.

He looked at it, then back at her, and asked, "Where?"

She smiled at him and asked softly, "I'm a goddess, remember? Those are in the system as well. After all, why do things half-way?"

Xander didn't know what to say, so he simply said "Thank You." At which point she smiled again and leaned up to kiss him. Kisses from Cat were really nice he thought again.

They soon arrived at the mall, where apparently the theme for the day was "Torture Xander".

Cat dragged him into several stores, where she had him try on various combinations of shirts, pants, and jackets. Then she made him wander around in several different pairs of shoes. But the most frustrating thing of all was she never chose anything. Over and over he would have to go put something on, wander back and forth in front of Cat, then go and switch it for something else and start the whole process over again, with no resulting purchases. It was the lack of any material proof that his efforts were of use which was annoying him the most.

On the flip side, Cat was great. He found that simply being around her tended to make him feel better. He tried picturing going through something like this with Buffy or Willow – who he still missed like a missing limb – but couldn't imagine it being even half as, well, not fun, but pleasant. As pleasant as being forced to change clothes over and over again could be.

Finally, he found he couldn't take it any more, and as they exited yet another store Xander stopped, and turned to Cat. "No more. I'm sorry Cat, but I can't take it any more. This whole afternoon, other than your company, feels like a big waste of time. I mean you haven't liked anything at all. I don't care anymore. Let's just get the next thing you think looks half-way decent, then grab some food and call it a day."

Cat blinked up at him, a quizzical expression crossing her face, and asked, "You aren't enjoying this?"

"I don't feel like it's accomplishing anything. I mean, if we were lugging bags of clothes around, at least we'd have some trophies to show we had succeeded in our quest to find something you liked for me to wear. But instead, it all just seems so futile."

Cat frowned at that, then shrugged, and handed Xander a bag, which he automatically lifted from her outstretched hand.

Looking down at the bag, which felt rather heavy, and bore the logo of one of the last stores they had visited, Xander asked, "Uh, what's this?"

Cat smiled at him and replied, "Some of the clothes I liked from that store."

Xander wasn't sure he was tracking events properly, so he attempted to clarify, asking, "Um, did I miss the point where we bought stuff, or did you get it while I was changing back into my own clothes?"

Cat shook her head, "No. I didn't bother with them until just now. You said if you were carrying a bag of clothes you'd feel better. I want you to be happy, so I got you a bag of clothes to carry. Wasn't that what you wanted?"

Xander was not liking what he was thinking, hoping he was wrong, he asked, "Uh, you didn't just take them from the store, did you?"

Cat frowned at him and shook her head, "No, why would I do that? That'd be stealing, and stealing is wrong. I hope you wouldn't want me to start taking things that don't belong to us. I will if you really want me to, but I won't be happy."

Xander wasn't sure now what was going on, but at least he didn't have to worry about security grabbing them for shoplifting or anything. "No, I don't want you to start taking things from people. That's why I asked. I wanted to make sure you hadn't done so without realizing that it'd be stealing. I'm glad you didn't. So where did these clothes come from then?"

Cat looked at Xander like he had asked where the sunlight was coming from on a cloudless day, before shrugging and simply saying, "I handed them to you."

Xander suppressed the desire to roll his eyes at that and instead asked, "Yes, I remember that, but where did you get them from to hand to me?"

Cat looked confused for a moment, then said, "Um, I made them for you?"

Xander wasn't sure what to say to that. He stood there in the mall, looking at the bemused expression on Cat's face while he tried to sort things out in his head as people flowed past them on both sides.

Finally Xander started to speak again, carefully keeping his tone as neutral as possible. "I'm sorry Cat, but I think I'm having a real life Daren Stephens or Tony Nelson moment here, and it's kind of freaking me out."

Cat didn't understand the reference, so she asked, "What is a Darren Stephens or a Tony Nelson moment?"

Xander sighed and then tried to explain, "When I was growing up there were a couple of TV shows I used to watch sometimes during the summer when I was off, or when I was home sick from school. One of them was called 'Bewitched' and was about a normal man named Daren Stephens who was married to a really powerful witch. He never wanted her to use her magic, even though if she never did there wouldn't have been anything to see on the show. The other one was called 'I dream of Jeanie', it was about an astronaut who found a Genie in a bottle. She was always trying to grant wishes for him, while he was trying to keep people from finding out she was a Genie, especially his boss. Anyhow, your pulling a bag of stuff we should have bought out of nowhere just threw me for a loop, and all I could do was think about how I don't want to be like Daren or Tony. But at the same time, well, it just feels wrong to me to have clothes I didn't buy which I should have."

Cat seemed to think about that, then she said, "So you don't want the clothes I made for you?"

Xander shook his head, "No", he started to say.

Seeing her face fall he went on quickly, "I mean, yes. I want the clothes. I'm just not comfortable with you making them so, well, casually I suppose."

Cat's smile came back at that, and she bounced up and kissed him quickly, then stepped back again and looked at him happily. "I'm sorry you aren't comfortable about my making you things. I can try not to if you really want. But it's kind of a part of who I am."

Xander shook his head and replied, "I don't want you to be different from yourself. That's not what I'm saying. In fact, that's what I meant when I said I didn't want to be a Daren or a Tony. I don't want to put limits on what you would otherwise do. I just need to adjust to it. The problem is me, not you. Gosh, I sound like we're breaking up already, and I'm just getting to know you."

She smiled at him at that, and said "We can't break up. We're married. Or at least betrothed." Suddenly another shop caught her eye, and she said, "Since you are tired of trying on clothes, why don't I do it for a little bit, and you can tell me what you like."

Suddenly feeling very scared, Xander let Cat grab his free hand, and drag him across the mall towards Victoria's Secret.

Xander sat before the dressing rooms almost wishing he was back in hell. Ok, perhaps that was a little strong. Still, he certainly wasn't comfortable.

First of all, he was the only guy in the place. Oh no, that male employee over at the counter certainly didn't count. Not with the way he was checking out Xander more than the female customers were.

Next, there was the fact that those female customers were so blatantly checking him out. It was worse then working the bar in the Raven, at least there a lot of the females (and most of the males) seemed more interested in his neck than other parts of his anatomy.

It also didn't help that every few minutes the blood flow in his body would be routed away from maintaining his almost-permanent blush towards another singular portion of his body, one which no matter how he chose to sit seemed determined to make it's opinions of Cat's clothing known to the entire establishment. Which only served to renew the blush once it, er, relaxed again. Now that he really thought about it, Hell wasn't all that bad. There he only had to worry that just about everything he encountered wanted to kill or eat him. The blood flow problems in hell could usually be handled with a bandage until his healing could take effect. That was so not the case here.

The dressing room door opened again, and Cat came back out, this time wearing the tight blue jeans and tank top she had had on earlier that day, and carrying the stack of clothes she had been modeling for him. She walked up to him and bent over, forcing him to gaze at her cleavage as she whispered in his eat, "These are for me. Is it ok if I make the money to pay for them, or should I just put them back and make them later?"

Xander closed his eyes so his brain might be able to siphon enough blood from elsewhere so as to be able to function, and considered what she was saying. Finally he managed to reprocess it enough for a coherent response. "Unghuh." he said assuredly.

Cat stepped back and raised an eyebrow, silently indicating he should try again, and so he took a breath, held it, counted to ten, checked that he had made it to ten for sure, and wasn't at 1.0 or something, then tried to speak once more. "Yes. Go ahead and make the money to pay for the clothes, as opposed to making the clothes. Although in a way making the money is stealing from the government since the money is supposed to represent resources which back it."

Cat nodded and said, "I hadn't thought about that. Perhaps later I can make something to sell, and then just destroy the money I get to pay it back so it balances out."

Xander shrugged, and said, "That's why I'm having a problem with you just making stuff. Depending on what you are making, you may still be stealing in some way. For example, when you made the clothes for me earlier, even though you didn't steal from the store we were shopping in, you did steal the design from the people who paid to make the clothes we didn't buy. Granted, that's nothing like stealing the clothes entirely, but it's not the size of the theft that counts, it is the theft it's self."

Cat's eyes widened as she thought of exactly what the implications of what Xander had said were. Whenever she made something instead of buying it, she was in a way stealing from the people she would have otherwise bought it from. Not directly, as they still had what they had had before, but in the way that by not buying from them she hurt their business, and the businesses of all the people up the line who helped contribute to the sale she didn't complete. She had never even considered such a thing before.

She immediately vowed to come up with a way to pay back whatever she could to make up for any damages she could have caused in her ignorance. Suddenly feeling guilty even though she hadn't really ever done anything to hurt anyone, she looked at her husband and marveled at her fortune at having been rescued by a man who was so wise, kind, and even cute. She had understood almost from the moment he rescued her why her Uncle had after thousands of years chosen this person to be his champion, and had acted to empower him as he had, even if he had bent the rules a lot by doing so, and managed to create powerful opposition to her new husband's very existence.

The more she had learned about Xander, the more she had liked him. His actions in saving her aside, she had watched as he fought opponents forgoing possible advantages at times. When the demons had almost caught them she had tried to open a portal back to his home. She now knew she had failed, in a way, in that his home was not this world, but had succeeded as well, in that this world was also his home.

She had followed him that night in the woods, listening as he talked to himself. She had watched his interaction with the driver of the red vehicle, and noted that he did not act to force anything, appearing to have been content to be left in the forest had the driver chosen to do so.

She had not therefore been as surprised when upon their arrival in the city he again forwent the use of his powers, instead using them merely to aid himself in blending in to the environment, and despite many opportunities to use force or compulsion to obtain additional resources had slept in a tree, and washed himself and his belongings in a cold lake.

When he had later told his story to LaCroix, the vampire who's memories he apparently shares, she paid even greater attention to his story than did the enraptured vampire. It was at that point that she decided she wanted to wed her hero, if he would have her. When she had told her mother of her choice, she was surprised at the ready agreement she received. Apparently ever since she had spoken with her family while following Xander through the woods that first night after leaving Hell, her mother had been investigating the young man who was swiftly winning her only daughter's affections. And had been herself impressed by what she had found out. She had apparently spoken to many higher, and even a few lower, powers in her attempt to gain the measure of the person who by their traditions held the remainder of her youngest child's existence in his hands, whether he knew it or not. And apparently other than the Powers, who mostly spoke of how he messed up their carefully laid plans and threatened their programs for his home dimension, no one had anything actually bad to say of him. And for any being that is a rare thing indeed.

So, she counted herself as an exceedingly lucky goddess to have a chance to even know such a man. And if she could win his heart as he had won hers, she would be joyous beyond description. The fact that he had already seemed to accept her as a friend was almost enough to make her giddy. When she had felt the bindings of the spell placed on her by her kidnappers which had locked her in her cat form slipping away she had almost woken Xander up to introduce herself, but instead had contented herself with using her restored form to hug the man who her Mother and her Uncle had decreed to be her new Husband. Waking up in his arms that morning had been the best experience in her life. It had actually made up for all the torment she had gone through in being kidnapped and taken to hell so that a demon lord could sacrifice her and drain her power to boost his own. Of course the argument which had followed, when she thought he didn't want her to be a cat anymore, but wanted her to just be a human wasn't very nice. But after she had realized he hadn't meant what she thought he had said, she had become deliriously happy again. Until now, when he pointed out how using her abilities to just make whatever she wanted could still be inadvertently causing harm to those around her, from whom she didn't obtain the items she otherwise would have. While the thought of causing harm to others, however slight and unintended it may be, was depressing it was still offset that now that her husband - for that was what he was in her mind, consummated marriage or not – had pointed this out, she could take steps to if not rectify the damages she may have caused in the past, at least prevent or reduce their impact in the future. He was so wise. And cute. And kind. And cute. She was so lucky.

As they exited Victoria's Secret, Xander's stomach took the opportunity to let them both know that it hadn't appreciated the lack of blood flow during the past hour or so, but would forgive them if it was provided the appropriate sacrifice of food. Xander's nose on the other hand seemed inclined to lead him towards a food court, where the stomach's sacrifice could be readily found. Turning to Cat, he asked her "Hungry?"

Cat blinked at him, hi question apparently drawing her out of some introspective thoughts. After a moment she shook her head, and replied, "Not really. I, uh, generally don't eat. I mean, I can, I really like those Twinkies you gave me, we need to get more of those I think, there should always be golden cakes with cream in them around, but I don't have to eat. I mean, unless you want me to. Then I'll eat something. Because like I said, I can eat if I want to. It's just that I usually don't. Eat that is."

Xander stopped walking, and stared at her for a bit, "You don't have to eat? Uh, but if you don't eat, you die. Everyone knows that."

Cat shook her head and said, "You don't have to either, you know. I mean, I know you're used to it, and sure, you feel a lot better when you aren't hungry, but tell me something, what happens when you die?"

Xander blinked. "Uh, you go to heaven, or if you've been bad, you go to hell?"

Cat shook her head and said, "No, I mean you. When YOU die, what happens?"

Xander pondered this for a moment, then saw what she was getting at, "Uh, I get better?"

Cat nodded, "Yep. If you die, your quickening heals the damage which caused you to die, or in your case both your quickening and your vampire healing combine to correct the damage which caused you to die, and then you come back, good as new. Granted, if you starved to death, you'll still be hungry when you come back, but you WON'T be starving. So, in theory you could avoid eating. Granted, it probably wouldn't be fun, but if you had to, you could."

This was a conclusion Xander had never even remotely considered. There were times when he was in Hell that he would have rather died than eat what he ended up having to consume, especially when it came to something like draining a demon for blood, or eating a possibly sentient vanquished foe. Had he realized that just by dying he could have avoided such events, he gladly would have. But he had never even considered that he could simply not eat, and not somehow die for good.

Shaking his head, he resumed leading the way to the food court. Glancing at his new watch, he realized that as soon as they finished eating they would need to head back to the Raven so Xander could get ready for his shift which started in only two hours. At least he'd have company for the meal, even if she didn't eat.


	11. Knight Errant Part 11 – Cats & Vamps

Part 11 – Cats & Vamps

Xander tripped as he entered the apartment. Scattered on the floor was the remnants of a stack of... clothes. Cat looked down at him and covered her mouth with a hand in a vain attempt to stifle her giggles. "Oops" she said.

Xander dragged himself up off the ground and looked around, spotting several neat stacks of clothing around the room, less the now scattered pile which had been the stack he had tripped over. "What the..." he asked, his voice trailing off as he took in the sight.

"My fault." Cat said looking sad. "Before you made me realize that this was kind of stealing. I'd already made everything I saw on you that I liked.

Xander looked around at the several stacks of clothing, taking in also one stack made entirely of shoe boxes. "This looks like almost everything you had me try on." Xander exclaimed.

Cat shrugged, then answered. "I kinda thought you made it all look pretty good. I mean there were a few shirts, and that one pair of pants, but more or less I liked a lot of it. But I can destroy it if you really want."

Xander was torn. On the one hand, there were more clothes here than he had ever even considered owning in his life, and none of them were what he would have chosen. On the other hand, Cat had shown a good eye for choosing things that did look good on him, even to his fashion blind eyes. And she had made them for him. If he told her to, she said she'd destroy them, and to his frugal mind that was almost as bad as having made them in the first place. Finally, he reached a compromise in his mind. "Ok. If you help me put them away, I'll keep them. This time. But the next time we go shopping, we spend money we earned the right way. It's not like I'm saying you can't make stuff when you need to, but really if there isn't a pressing reason, I'm just not comfortable. That said, If you want to make me a dream car for my birthday or something, I won't complain. Much." He offered her his trademark lopsided grin as he added that last part, not really considering that she may actually take him up on his offer.

Cat just nodded solemnly, and pulled a dark silk button-up shirt from one stack, and a pair of dark grey dockers from another, and handed them to him before pointing at the bathroom. "Go. Get ready for work. I'll take care of the clothes." She bounced up and gave him another kiss, then turned towards the scattered pile of clothes and started gathering them up.

Xander emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later to find Cat looking at a huge cabinet mostly made of drawers which seemed to have replaced the dresser across the room from the bed. "Uh, Cat, what's that?"

The girl looked over at him and offered a shy grin, "Um. I needed more drawers?"

Xander looked at the six foot tall by eight foot wooden edifice, taking in the three columns of four drawers along the bottom, and said "Cat, there's twelve drawers there. And what's with the four doors?"

She did a Vanna White imitation and opened the nearest door, revealing a row of neatly hung shirts, sorted apparently by color. "For the stuff that didn't fit in the drawers?"

Xander shook his head in resignation and sat to pull on a clean pair of socks, then slip his feet into the shoes Cat handed him from among the assortment which now lined the floor of the room's closet.

Finally, he stood, only to be handed a leather jacket, which he slipped on as well. "Happy?" he asked, turning around to see Cat standing behind him.

It was good he had finished speaking before turning, because sometime between when he had sat down to slip on the shoes, and had finished placing on the jacket, Cat had changed from the jeans and tank top to an elegant looking black top and a grey miniskirt, her hair was now up, and a golden ankh hung at her neck on a choker. Her eyes glimmered with amusement as she stepped closer to him and popped up to give him another of her quick kisses before answering, "Very"

Grinning back at her, Xander offered his hand, which she took, and together they made their way out of the apartment and down the inside stairs towards the Raven proper.

Xander looked around for LaCroix as soon as they came through the back door. He swiftly spotted Urs, who gave him and Cat a quick grin, Miklos who offered a wave before turning back to his pre-opening inventory, but couldn't find a sign of LaCroix.

Turning to Cat he said, "Why don't you wait here while I go find LaCroix. I know he has to be around here somewhere."

Cat nodded, then sat down in a booth right by the back stairway door.

As Xander disappeared through the door behind the bar which Cat remembered led to the kitchen, she felt the blonde waitress approaching her.

Cat was not a real fan of vampires in general, although these didn't seem as bad as most of the ones she had encountered before. Still, the stealthy approach of the vampire almost put her on edge.

The vamipress came up and sat down in the booth across the table from Cat without saying a word. She then looked towards the door where Xander had disappeared, before looking back at Cat and smiling, "Hi. I'm Urs. I work here as a waitress, and sometimes they let me sing as well."

Cat looked at the vampire, trying to detect any ulterior motives, but failing. Finally she smiled and offered her hand across the table. "Cat."

Urs reached out and gently took Cat's warm hand in her own cold one, and gave her a gentle, but firm little shake. "So, have you known Xander long?" the vampire asked.

Cat grinned, and said, "Not as long as I'd like to have. He's one of a kind."

Urs nodded and grinned back at her, "Yeah, I like the kid. He's got a good heart. But he scared me last night."

This was something new. "What do you mean?

Urs looked her in the eye and asked, "How much do you know about this place?"

Cat shrugged and answered, "It's a club. It's owned by a vampire named LaCroix, and mostly caters to vampires."

Urs took that in stride, then said, "And what do you know of vampire society?"

This time Cat looked more thoughtful before shrugging and replying with a small grin, "It sucks?"

Urs rolled her eyes and responded, "Like we haven't heard that one a few thousand times before. No, I mean about our rules, and how we enforce them."

Cat shrugged again, answering. "I didn't realize you had rules. But if you do then I would assume you have some sort of arbitrators to judge if they are followed. But I'm really not that familiar with your type of vampires."

Urs looked confused at that, and asked, "Type?"

Cat nodded, "There are at least six distinct types of vampires I can think of off the top of my head, each with their own particular traits and weaknesses. Some of them for example can walk in broad daylight without any discomfort, they can even get a tan. Others can't even cross running water. Some, like yours can fly. Others can change their forms into mist or bats. Some are simply corpses inhabited by demons."

Urs raised her eyebrows at this, then asked, "Do you know which kind Xander is?"

Cat looked back at Urs in surprise at that question, "Why do you ask?"

"Last night, like I said, Xander scared me. In two ways, actually. Our kind have certain, rules. One of those is that it is forbidden to reveal our existence to mortals. If it happens the vampire responsible has to either erase the knowledge from the mortal's mind, which is the most common act, or destroy them in the rare cases they encounter a resistor who's mind they can not alter. Either that or they must bring them across, to make them one of us. If they fail to do one of these, then there are others of our kind, generally far stronger and faster than the average vampire, called Enforcers. They are those arbitrators you speculated about. It is their job to, clean up, when a vampire has failed to honor the code. They will erase the mortals mind, of failing that, destroy them, then destroy the vampire responsible for the mess in the first place."

Cat nodded at this, it made sense if these vampires hoped to avoid being spotted in modern society.

"Well, one of these Enforcers, an elder named Antonov who had been after LaCroix for over a thousand years from what I hear, decided that Xander was a normal mortal, and therefore should be destroyed, which would also give him an excuse to finally take down LaCroix. He ordered Xander to accompany him out back."

Cat raised an eyebrow at that, and said, "If LaCroix knew of this Antonov, then likely so did Xander."

Urs nodded, "That would make sense. It almost seemed like Xander was taunting the Enforcer. Deliberately goading him on to make him even madder. I mean, he insulted him, and now that I think about it, he made a reference to Antonov's age. Well, finally when Antonov got Xander outside, Antonov demanded that Xander tell him who told him of our kind. Xander replied that his Sire had done so, and inquired who had first told Antonov of us. I think Antonov was trying to use compulsion on Xander, but he was ignoring it, which only served to make him more angry. Since Xander is obviously still alive, the idea of him claiming anyone as a Sire was ridiculous. Several of the vampires who had gathered to watch Antonov kill the mortal actually laughed at the idea."

Cat spoke softly, saying "LaCroix is Xander's Sire."

Urs nodded, "When Antonov demanded he name his Sire, that's what he said as well."

"Xander is, unique as I said."

Urs nodded again, "Tell me about it. At this point, Xander asked who Antonov's Sire was, and pointed out that he still hadn't told him who had first told who had explained about vampire to Antonov. He called him rude and insulted him when Antonov asked him if he knew of the Code. At that point Antonov attacked Xander. But what happened next, I've never seen anything like it in my life."

Cat smiled, and answered, "Xander killed Antonov, and just walked away ignoring everyone else?"

Urs shook her head, "No. He moved. I think. I'm not really sure. I mean, I can see things far better than I ever could as a Mortal. But what happened, before I could even think to cry out for Xander to watch out, Antonov had been thrown, I think, across the alley. The bricks are still smashed out of place where he landed. Only Xander was there. Behind Antonov like he just pushed him into the wall."

Cat nodded knowingly. "Xander can move fast when he needs to. Faster than I think even he realizes at times."

Urs's eyes widened at this revelation, "I believe that. But that wasn't the scary part. I mean yeah, he had me scared for him up to that point, like I said, I like the kid. But it is what he did next that scared me, and literally chased off the other vampires there."

Cat got a concerned look on her face, and asked, "What? He didn't tear the limbs off the other vampire did he?"

Urs shook her head again, "No, he grabbed him up and started to drain him like Antonov was nothing more than a mortal. I think he did something then, something strange. We can see things when we drink blood. Memories, sometimes thoughts. Xander I think pulled the name of Antonov's Sire from his mind. Then he used a compulsion on him somehow. Later Xander told me what he did was worse then killing Antonov. Said it made him a monster."

"Xander could never be a monster. Even at his worst, he's a good soul. What did he do?" Cat interrupted, shaking her head.

"I'm not sure, but I think he broke Antonov somehow." Urs replied with a thoughtful frown.

"What do you mean?" Cat asked.

Well, afterwards, the only thing I heard Antonov say was the name Xander said belonged to his Sire, 'Romonv'."

Cat frowned, then said, "Xander might be able to do that. His mental powers are much stronger than yours, and would be able to easily swamp even this enforcer's mind if he were mad enough. But I can't see Xander doing that, unless he had a really good reason. Xander doesn't maim people. He may kill them if he has to, but damaging them permanently, I don't think so."

A new voice spoke up from beside the table, saying "If this is the same Alexander Tracy was telling me about, then you're wrong about the maiming part. From what I hear, he permanently crippled four people last night when he went to the store. Something about chopping them up with a sword."

Cat looked at the tall dark haired male vampire with the soft Spanish accent who had walked up to the table and inserted himself without invitation into their conversation. "Who are you, and who is Tracy, and what does he know about Xander?"

The new vampire extended a hand and introduced himself with a small bow, "Javier Vachon at your service." Cat took the hand and shook it, trading her name back to him, "Cat Harris."

Vachon's face shifted slightly, and he asked, "Any relation to the Alexander Harris I was just speaking of?"

Cat grinned and replied, "He's my Husband."

She caught the slack-jawed expression which flashed over Urs's face out of the corner of her eye, but ignored it to turn a serious face towards Vachon and ask, "Now what does this Tracy fellow know about Xander."

Vachon smiled back and replied, "Well, first off, Tracy is a she, not a he. And what she told me about the case is this..."

In the kitchen, Xander had finally found LaCroix.

"Good evening, Alexander. I trust all is well with your apartment?" LaCroix greeted him.

"Hey LaCroix. Yeah, it's good. I want to talk to you about something though. Remember the cat I had yesterday?"

"The animal hasn't damaged anything has it? I allowed you to keep it on the assumption that it would be well behaved."

Xander interrupted LaCroix before he could continue, "No, nothing like that. No, the situation is way weirder than just a cat taking a dump on the carpet or something like that. Remember where I told you she came from? How I rescued her from a demon lord in hell where he was planning some sort of sacrificial ceremony to gain more power?"

At LaCroix's nod Xander went on, "Well, it turns out she really wasn't just a cat. To start with her Mom's a goddess named Bast."

LaCroix didn't know what to think of the young man's latest story. To say Alexander's presence had made things interesting would be an understatement.

He had heard more from Nichola in the last day, trying to find out about Alexander mostly, than at any time in the past several months.

And the event last night with that pain in the ass Antonov, LaCroix still wasn't sure exactly what had transpired, but apparently Antonov had assumed based on appearances that Alexander was a normal mortal, and had attempted to destroy him as per the Code unfortunately.

Even more unfortunately, for him, he had done so in front of several witnesses. Witnesses who claimed that Alexander had named him as his Sire, then proceeded to beat the widely feared Enforcer as though he were toying with a mortal. The last bit, where he laid some sort of compulsion on him was most intriguing. It shouldn't be possible for a vampire to compel an enforcer of Antonov's age. Granted, he was a young one, but he was still an Ancient. And Alexander certainly wasn't. Although when he had first met the boy, the feeling had been one of an ancient, far older than himself, and yet also of one of his own Childer. It was for these two obviously conflicting reasons, that he tentatively accepted the man's story at face value, despite the ludicrousy of it on primary examination.

Granted, the depth of detail provided through the tale had lent it an unconscious weight, yet with no other evidence, he had been willing to extend the offer of both a job and accommodation to the young man. If for no other reason than because it would provide an excellent opportunity to keep an eye on him.

And what a pleasant diversion his presence had already become. The expanded contact with Nichola aside, Xander had managed to take that pest Antonov down the night before, and do so after naming himself as the boy's Sire. The rumors which had surged through the club, and the larger community since then had been almost as much fun as had been seeing the expression on Antonov's face when he had left the night before.

He feared however Nick's reaction when those rumors finally reached his son's ears. Only Nichola's self-imposed separation from te community had prevented them from doing so already, but he did maintain contact with a small circle of other vampires, himself included, and eventually one of the others would mention the vampire with a heartbeat.

He had appreciated the fact that Alexander had chosen to conceal his nature from his son for the moment, allowing LaCroix to have a chance to decide what and how to tell his Childe, so as to minimize the impact of the information, and the effect it would have on his son's quest to commit a slow suicide by resuming a short, mortal life. Too bad that he likely wouldn't get the chance to do so now.

But this latest development. LaCroix was truly confounded. He had heard of gods and goddesses when he was young, but in later years had assumed them to all be merely creations of myth, or exaggerated and mutated misunderstood tales of vampires and or powerful mortal men.

But if the boy was to be believed, he now had a genuine goddess living under his roof. There had to be some way he could turn this as well to his advantage within the community. A good first step would be to appease her though, and extend the offer of employment the boy had requested.

Xander watched as LaCroix looked up from a few moments of contemplation, "Very well, let us go speak with the young lady. If she truly wishes to seek gainful employment under my wing, then who am I to naysay her. While I don't really need her services at this time, a third waitress should make things, more interesting. Also, I could let Urs spend more time singing. She really does have a lovely voice, you know."

Xander nodded gratefully, and led the way back into the club towards the table where he had left Cat a short time ago.

He found that she was not alone, having attracted the attention of both Urs, and Vachon, who Xander hat yet to meet in person, but knew from LaCroix's memories.

"Hey Cat." He called as they approached, Cat looking up at him in slight startlement upon hearing his voice, then her face blooming in a smile as she launched herself out of the booth and into his arms to give him a deep kiss.

"Uh, not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?" he asked once she broke the kiss.

She smiled again, and answered, "Oh, just because. These two have been telling me stories."

Xander glanced at the pair of vampires still at the booth, and wondered what they could have been talking about, so he asked, "About?"

She smiled and said, "Oh, about how you were attacked yesterday by an enforcer, and also about the, incident, with the gunmen at the store before that. Xander, where's your sword?"

Xander's face closed up, and he tried to change the subject, "Well, the enforcer made me mad. I probably shouldn't have done that though. I should have just killed him, instead of humiliating him permanently like that."

Cat wasn't going to let it drop though, so she asked again, "Xander, where's your sword? You do know how special that blade is, don't you?"

Xander looked back at her and shrugged, "It keeps a good edge, I really haven't had to sharpen it since I got it, and it seems pretty much immune to rust, or dents and scratches, if that's what you mean."

Cat snorted while the others looked on silently, "I suppose one could say that about Kusanagi. Xander, you do realize that she is an enchanted blade, as powerful and important historically as Excalibur, don't you?"

Xander felt shock run through his system, and responded, "No. I had no idea. I mean, it was a good sword, better than the one I had lost, so when I killed the demon who had it in his bags I took it instead of the mangled remnant of my old Katana I had been carrying at that time. The only thing about it which was odd, other than as I pointed out it says sharp and avoids even getting scratched, was that it causes some demons to smoke when it cuts them."

Cat smiled gently at him and explained, "The blade is a holy item, able to kill gods. I'm not sure, but I think she was forged with the blood, or from the tail of a dragon, by Amaterasu herself. She can not be wielded by evil, or used to harm the innocent. She's a blade meant for a Champion, and had been lost in Hell for millennia. I ask again, Xander, where is your sword?"

Xander shrugged and replied, "In the bedroom upstairs. I didn't think I should carry it anymore, after what happened in the S-Mart."

She leaned up and kissed him again, this time briefly, and said, "Xander, you should carry her with you always. You are a Champion of the god Janus, and a Hero in many people's eyes, even those at the S-Mart I bet, and should carry Kusanagi with pride. Go upstairs and get your sword."

Xander looked at LaCroix, who shrugged. He hadn't even thought about the blade when he had first met the boy, seeing it then dismissing it as unimportant.

As Xander left the room, Cat turned to the elder vampire and extended her hand. "Cat Harris."

LaCroix accepted her hand, and bowed over to give it a kiss, before offering a flourish and declaring, "Lucien LaCroix, owner of this humble establishment. You honor us with your presence, my lady."

Urs and Vachon both seemed a bit taken aback at this unexpected behavior from the elder vampire, but remained silent to see what he was up to.

Cat looked at the door through which Xander had vanished, and softy shook her head before looking back at LaCroix and saying in a soft voice, "He is going to need help."

LaCroix raised an eyebrow at this, and queried, "Help my lady?"

"He told you he spent the last twenty or so years in Hell? Have you considered exactly what that would mean to his psyche? Twenty years in a dimension designed specifically to punish and torture it's inhabitants. Twenty years of constantly fighting just to keep from being consumed in one way or another. Twenty years of constant assault in one form or another. He lost it last night from what I hear with that Enforcer. The events in the store I can understand, but I think both of them have left him scared of himself. Of what he may do, how he may respond in an aggressive situation."

LaCroix quirked an eyebrow at this observation, then asked, "So why insist that he carry a blade? Would that not enhance the possibility of violence?"

Cat shook her head, "No. At least I don't think so. I think that with a weapon at hand he'll exercise more restraint than he would likely otherwise."

Vachon finally chose to interject at that point, "Like he did at the store?"

Cat however nodded, "Exactly. He didn't kill them. He could have, easily. Even without the blade. But instead he acted in the swiftest way he could, then from what you said, went on to save the lives of the very people who had been threatening him in the first place."

"Also, Kusanagi is more than just a hunk of metal. She's aware, and can help to calm his more violent urges. Now that I think about it, it's likely due to her influence that Xander is still sane. I wonder how long she was actually with him before he rescued me." Cat continue, her face scrunching up in thought at the end.

LaCroix decided that he should make his offer now, so that when he returned Xander wouldn't be wondering what they had been talking about in his absence. "My Lady, it is my understanding that you seek employment in my establishment?"

Cat nodded, "Yeah, it'd let me spend more time with Xander, keep me from being bored waiting for him to get off, and allow me to earn money, which I guess I wm going to want for the future, based on some revelations my husband helped me discover."

LaCroix raised an eyebrow wondering what Alexander could have helped a Goddess figure out, but let the question pass. Instead he replied, "Urs can show you the duties of a waitress, if such would suit your interests." At Urs's sudden sharp look, LaCroix continued, "It would help free the girl up so she could grace us more often with her lovely voice."

Urs's expression swiftly changed to one of pleasure as she took Cat's hand and lead her away from the two male vampires.

Vachon turned to LaCroix and asked, "A mortal waitress?"

LaCroix simply turned to him and smiled enigmatically as he answered, "She is no more a mortal than is Alexander." That said, he made his way to his office, so he could decide exactly what to tell his son when Nichola showed up tonight to get more information on Alexander.

Xander was having a decent enough night. The novelty of 'ordering drinks from the mortal' had been replaced by the novelty of 'ordering drinks from the scary person who beat up an Enforcer', or perhaps the novelty of 'try and figure out what he is, but don't piss him or his wife off'. That was the other change, and it was a big one. Cat. A part of his brain was still trying to wrap itself around the concept that he had a wife. That this gorgeous, sexy woman who he had only really met this morning and who was already a huge part of his life was HIS wife. Or was his WIFE even. But she had made certain to stake her claim to him early in the evening, often referring to him loudly to any female customers who seemed to get a bit too close as HER husband. And surprisingly it made him feel good. A large part of him already liked being hers.

As he was pondering this, he noticed a large group of vampires entering the club, and spreading out in an organized fashion that immediately set his warning bells off.

Xander recognized one of them, the one in the middle of a clump who was scanning the room looking for something or someone as lead Enforcer for North America, a three thousand year old Ancient who didn't look a day over thirty.

As the Ancient's eyes passed over Xander, they locked on him for a few moments, and he spoke to one of the other vampires who had remained at his side.

Xander noticed as Cat started making her way through the crowd towards the bar, doing a good job of being stealthy considering she was in a room full of vampires.

Hans, the senior Enforcer and his immediate entourage made his way across the room towards Xander, although not being anywhere near as unobtrusive as Cat was, instead his associates were literally shoving anyone in their path out of their way.

Finally, both Cat and Hans had arrived, Cat slipping silently behind the bar and taking up a position to Xander's rear, while Hans and his cohorts came right up to the bar, Hans looking dubiously at Xander.

"Can I help you?" Xander asked.

Hans continued to stare, while one of his entourage spoke, "Romonov" he hissed.

Xander's eyes opened suddenly as he realized there was something he had planned on passing along to LaCroix, and had forgotten.

Seeing the expression on Xander's face, Hans's own countenance darkened, and he demanded in a deep tone, "What did you do to my people?"

Xander shrugged, and said, "Never met them before, so I can't say that I did anything, directly."

Hans's anger increased, the rage of the ancient filling the raven with an almost palpable aura of power. "Don't play games with me, Mortal. What type of drugs or what else was it that you did to Antonov?"

Xander felt his own control starting to slip under the assault of the Ancient's anger. A part of him wanted nothing more than to splatter the vampires bones across the club, but he managed to stifle the impulse with sheer willpower. Instead he replied in a deceptively calm voice, "He insulted me. He had the gal to ORDER me outside. Once there he refused to answer my questions despite the fact that I was willingly answering his. He then had the audacity to ATTEMPT TO ATTACK me. So I dealt with him, and chastised him for his impertinence and rudeness."

The directness of Xander's response, coupled with the flat tone, and occasionally raised volume gave the elder vampire pause for a moment. "Chastised him how exactly?"

One of the other enforcers to Hans's side growled out "Romonov" and glared at Xander.

Xander glanced at him, then looked back, straight into Hans's eyes, and said, "I admit, I should have simply destroyed him as he tried to do to me. In all honesty I was so mad that at the time it didn't cross my mind. When he refused to answer me, I used the blood link to drain his mind, and get the answers for myself. I then laid a blood geas upon him to evermore provide the answer he had withheld, the name of his sire, 'Romonov'."

Hans chose not to believe the mortal before him, the story was too outlandish. Even as he let his incredulity show on his face, the mortal looked again at the most recent Enforcerto speak, and said softly to him, "I'm sorry that I forgot to tell my Sire to warn you that sharing his blood would pass on the geas to any who drank it."

The enforcer he was looking at looked puzzled and asked, "Romonov?"

Xander seemed to understand somehow and shrugged, "I don't know. I can try and remove it from you, it depends on how strong the geas is. Since I created it in theory I can lift it, but I was really mad. I put a lot of strength into it." Xander glanced over his shoulder and took in Cat's face, as though wordlessly asking her if there was anything she could do, and received a silent shrug in response.

Apparently tired of seemingly being ignored, Hans finally fully lost his temper, and shouted out "Enough!" loud enough that his voice echoed off the walls of the Raven for several seconds before finally fading into silence.

Xander looked at him questioningly as Hans took a deep steadying breath before continuing. "By the code, as a Mortal with knowledge of our kind, I order your destruction."

Xander finally felt his own temper snap at that point, and locked his eyes and mind on Hans. "Shut up." he ordered the old Enforcer. Hans closed his mouth so fast his jaws made an audible snap, his eyes widening in shock.

Xander reached into his quickening, and released the bindings holding his aura in check, allowing the entire building to suddenly feel his own presence, that of a vampire of almost four thousand years, while he worked to settle his rage. One of the enforcers whispered a terrified sounding " Romonov!" and took a step back.

Finally bringing his emotions under control, he spoke, his voice once more the same flat tone he had first used to answer the Enforcer's last question. "I am not a Mortal. Neither am I one of your kind, so your stupid code does not apply to me. If it did, I would now have the option of wiping all your minds, or killing you all to protect the secret of MY kind. Trust me when I say I could do either should I so choose."

Cat stepped up and placed a gentle hand on Xander's shoulder, offering silent support.

After calming himself some more, Xander went on, "I just want to be left in peace. So that IS what will happen. You will go back where you came from. Those of you accidentally afflicted by the geas may remain. I will not promise to be able to lift it, but I will at least try, as it was not my intention to punish anyone other than Antonov last night. Now, take your pitiful little enforcers and LEAVE." Xander put more than a little compulsion on that last word, and the majority of the enforcers literally bolted for the door, only Hans and those who Xander had specified – namely the four enforcers restricted to uttering the name 'Romonov' remained, and Hans only by great force of will, refusing to allow himself to show the weakness he suddenly felt before this vampire.

He looked over his shoulder at Cat and asked, "What of her?"

Xander looked at her, then back at Hans and shrugged, "What of her, she is no more a mortal than I am, nor is she one of yours. Thus she is of no concern to you and your kind."

Hans wasn't willing to let it go though, "What is she, what are you? How can you do this?" he gestured to the club where soft scared whispers were being shared amongst clustered groups of vampires.

Cat decided to answer for herself at least, saying "I am a Goddess. If you do some research, you can probably find out quite a bit about my mom, look for Bast, or as she was later called, Bastet. You may also want to look up my big brother, look for Maahes, or Mihos and even Mysis, depending on who was talking about him." She shrugged. "I doubt you'll find much about myself or my husband in your books though. I've been pretty low-profile."

Hans looked again at Xander, who shrugged, then closed his eyes, ignoring the vampire for a few moments. The strength of his aura seemed to wane, fading until once again he seemed little more than a normal mortal to vampyric senses.

"Lucien?" he called out.

"Yes Alexander?" came the soft voice of LaCroix from where he had been standing by the door to his office.

"Can I take the rest of the night off? I'm kind of worked up, and, well, I don't think I'd be doing a very good job."

LaCroix didn't even consider the question, merely waved towards the rear door which lead to the inside stairs up to the apartments. "Go on, both of you. Get some rest. I'll sort this out with Hans."

Xander nodded, then paused at the door, looking at the remaining enforcers before gesturing at the door himself, saying "Well, come on."

One of the enforcers frowned and grumbled "Romonov" but preceded Xander out the door and up the stairs, the others following sullenly behind.


	12. Knight Errant Part 12 – Field Tripp

Part 12 – Field Tripp

Up in the apartment, things went a bit calmer. After a bit of effort, Xander was able to establish a blood link with the enforcers, and after practically draining each of them in turn, was able to override the geas and restore them to "normal".

While not exactly happy about having all their memories shared with this strange, and extremely powerful Ancient vampire, it was either that or spend the rest of their un-lives unable to communicate.

Xander wasn't exactly happy at having to sift through several more hundred years of memories from four more vampires, one of whom was almost as old as LaCroix, but over the years he had learned to more or less automatically shunt the foreign memories to some far corner of his brain, where they could be sorted through later by his subconscious for permanent storage. The only side effect to this being the startlingly vivid and disturbing dreams inspired while sorting the foreign memories.

As Xander worked on the last of the Enforcers, Cat yawned and stretched, then walked into the bedroom, and before the astonished eyes of the vampires, changed into a small white cat, and leapt up on the bed, where she curled into a fluffy ball.

"Did your wife just," one of the vampires started to ask, then looked back into the bedroom at the cat, glanced again at Xander as he bent over the currently still form of his fellow enforcer, then muttered "Romonov" softly to himself under his breath, and decided to read the cover for the as yet unopened "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" video he found sitting on the coffee table.

Even though Xander didn't realize it, none of the enforcers he was helping would ever be able to generate any enthusiasm to bother LaCroix or any of his family again, even should they see a blatant violation of the code. Upon learning of any connection to LaCroix or one of his Childer, they would immediately lose interest and find something else to concern themselves with elsewhere. Since that part of the curse had been laid on top of the communications lockdown, as it were, Xander never even thought to look for it, and thus it was left. And since this was a blood geas, it would be passed to any enforcers who shared their blood, and any who later shared blood of another who had been infected with it. Due to the subtle nature of the geas, no one would ever realize that LaCroix and his family eventually became essentially invisible to the enforcers.

With the last enforcer cured of the "Romonov" curse, Xander led them out the back door to the alley stairs, and returned to his apartment. After stripping down to his shorts, he quickly climbed into bed. Cat, or rather, Snowball at this point, looked over at him blearily, then climbed up on top of his stomach, and started purring as she went back to sleep.

Soothed by the rhythmic purring of the cat on his chest, Xander finally managed to settle his mind, and drift off to sleep himself.

Waking the next morning was not as much of a shock as it had been that first one, for one thing, Cat was already up, and what awoke him was the smell of something burning. And the sound of curses.

Rolling out of bed, Xander followed the sounds and smells to the kitchen, where he found Cat in a pink t-shirt and shorts, glaring at something which may have wanted to be a funny shaped pancake in a skillet, with a few other similarly distressed, but less brown of its relatives on a plate to the side.

Catching the motion as he entered the kitchen, Cat froze for a moment, then flushed red in embarrassment, before launching herself across the kitchen and into his arm. "I'm sorry" she practically cried as she hugged herself to him.

Xander was confused. "Sorry for what? Waking me up?"

She shook her head against his chest, and muttered a muffled something that sounded like "imafeller" Xander tried reparsing the sounds several times before concluding she was calling herself a failure.

Gently, he reached down and pulled Cat's face away from his chest, lifting her chin until he could look into her large green eyes, which were glistening with tears at the moment.

"Why are you calling yourself a failure, Cat?" Xander asked softly.

She hitched a breath, and replied, "'Cause I killed the breakfast I wanted to make you."

Xander smiled back at her, and said, "Dead breakfasts are better than live ones which want to eat you. Trust me, I've been there."

Cat smiled softly at his attempt at a joke, before looking back at the pancake thingy which was still in the skillet and smoking even worse than it had been a few moments before.

Xander followed her gaze, then reached over and slid the skillet off the burner, before turning back to the visibly distressed Cat. "Cat, has anyone ever showed you how to cook before?"

Cat shook her head, looking up at him.

"So, how are you a failure? I mean, look at the bacon. It looks, well, um, crispy. Which is much better than raw and icky. " Lifting the plate which held the few unburnt pancake like things, he said, "And these look ok too. So how are you a failure? Considering no one ever showed you how to cook, I think you are doing pretty good." A thought struck him, and he asked, "Why are you trying to cook anyhow? Didn't you make breakfast yesterday?"

Cat nodded and said, "But I MADE it. I wanted to make this one for you, to be special. Our first anniversary, sort of. It's stupid." Cat turned away to try and hide the blush on her face.

Xander walked over to her and dragged her back to him, "No, it's not stupid. It is a nice thought. And a lot of effort. And I appreciate it. And you, for trying."

Cat's face lost all the gloom in one of those mercurial changes of mood he was starting to expect from her, "You're happy, I mean, even though it's no good, you like it?"

Xander nodded and said, "Cat, I like you. It's too soon to be sure, but I may even be starting to love you. But I am sure that I love the fact you tried to make me breakfast, even though you didn't know how to make breakfast. So yes, I'm happy."

Her grin almost lit the room as she bounced up and gave him a quick kiss before dragging him to the table and placing the plate of funny pancake things in front of him, heading over to grab the syrup and butter and bringing them back to the table before pouring him a large glass of orange juice.

Tentatively he tried a bite of the top pancake thing, it was lumpy and had a pallid and somewhat salty taste as opposed to the fluffy pancake from the day before, but as he had once eaten Buffy's cooking, and survived, he simply added lots of syrup, and smiled at Cat before shoving more in his mouth, occasionally crunching on some very well cooked bacon for variety. And Cat smiled happily as she watched him eat.

After breakfast, Xander looked at the happily smiling Cat, and said, "So, what are our plans for today?"

Cat shrugged, then said, "Whatever you want. I don't really have anything I want to do, why?"

Xander didn't have to think long, turning to smile at her, he said, "Well, I was thinking of going home."

Cat looked around the small apartment, and asked, "Uh, we are home."

Xander shook his head, "No. I meant my real home. Sunnydale."

Cat looked at him, cocking her head, "But Sunnydale doesn't exist here. They haven't even created a myth about it yet."

It was Xander's turn to shake his head, "I don't mean here. I was kind of hoping, well, if you wouldn't mind."

Cat just looked at him, and Xander tried again, "Could you open a portal back to my home dimension?"

Cat nodded, "Easily, if I knew which one it was. I tried that when we were in Hell, and we ended up here. I suppose I could try it again. Do you want to do that now?"

Xander nodded, "Please." He was really eager to try and get home. He missed his friends.

Cat stood up, and he walked over to join her, plucking Kusanagi from the table and strapping it to his back, Xander looked around the small yet comfortable living room and asked, "Uh, if we go, can we come back?"

Cat shrugged, "Sure. I know now where this one is, so coming back isn't a problem."

"Good. 'Cause I kind of like LaCroix, and Nick, even though we haven't really gotten to know each other yet, and I also enjoy working with Miklos and Urs. And I like our place here. It isn't home, but it could be."

Cat smiled, and said softly, "Anywhere with you is home for me."

Xander grinned at her for saying that, and for once it was he who bent down and gave her a kiss, rather than the other way around. Yeah, he was pretty sure he was falling for her.

Cat reached out and took his hands in hers, and closed her eyes, feeling for the universe other than this one with the greatest affinity for Xander. There was one, she felt it, and it almost hummed with a similarity to Xander. She reached out with her mind and opened a bridge, spreading it wider until a swirling 2 dimensional disk appeared hovering in the air beside them.

Xander looked over at the vortex, then back at Cat. "That it?" he asked, recognizing the appearance of the vortex he had leapt into in order to escape from Hell. Cat nodded, so releasing her left hand, He held her right hand firmly in his left, and stepped into and through the portal.

They emerged in the dusty upper floor of an apparently unused warehouse.

Xander looked around, and said, "Spooky warehouse. Well, I suppose it could be Sunnydale."

Cat looked at him and said, "Uh, no. It's still Toronto. We didn't go anywhere, other than just to here."

This confused Xander. "Um, Cat, if we didn't go anywhere, then shouldn't we be in our living room above the Raven?"

Cat nodded, her eyes literally shining in the dark dusty room, "We are."

Xander looked around again at the empty dusty room, "Then I think we got robbed, and we really need to clean up a bit."

Cat just growled at him before answering, "We are still in the same place. Just not in the same universe."

Xander grinned at her exasperation and answered with a laugh, "I think I got it. I was joking."

Cat smiled back at that, and said "Ok."

"By the way, thanks." Xander told her.

"For what?" Cat asked, genuinely confused.

"For opening the portal. Helping me get home is important to me. I miss my friends."

Cat smiled again, then leaned up and gave him a long deep kiss.

Xander gasped for breath, his head swimming from more than just the lack of oxygen when they broke apart. "What was that for?" he gasped.

Cat smiled again and said, "For being you. I doubt anyone else would have bothered to thank me."

Xander grinned at her again and said, "I gotta remember to thank you more often, if that's the kind of response I get."

They had made their way to the roof, rather then down to the street, figuring that breaking out through the top of the building may be easier than at street level where someone may see them, or they may set off an alarm.

As they stood on the roof of the building, looking down at the empty alley below, Xander mused aloud, "I can fly down there, but what about you? Do you want to change into a cat, or have me carry you full sized?"

Cat looked over at him and shrugged, "Or I could just fly down myself."

Xander looked at her in shock and asked, "Uh, you can fly?"

Cat nodded, explaining, "Xander, by body is nothing more than an expression of my will. If I will it to fly, it flies. If I will it to be a cat, it's a cat. If I will it to be a hell-cat, as I did when the hell-hound was attacking you, it's a hell-cat. I could even will my body to be a chair if I really felt like it from time to time."

Xander shook his head and replied, "If I want an occasional chair, I'll go to a furniture store and buy one to keep around full time. I like you the way you are, be it girl or cat or even scary tiger thing."

Cat just laughed at him and stepped off the edge of the roof, hovering in the air above the alley. "Shall we?" she asked with a bright smile.

Xander grinned and stepped out into the air beside her, taking her hand and replied, "We shall."

They had managed to find a video store down the street from the warehouse, and in it they found out that "Buffy the vampire slayer" at least wasn't an available title. That boded well. They however also found that the date here was the same as in the Toronto they had just left – which meant that if they were where Xander belonged, they certainly weren't when he belonged. But Xander wasn't ready to give up just yet. If he had to hide out for three years to see his friends again with out causing apocalyptic paradoxes, well, he could do that. Compared to twenty years in hell, three years in Canada, well, ok, it was close, but still, he could do it. If he had to.

They had just left the video store when he felt it – a sensation he was familiar with, yet himself had never felt before in his life. And he cursed himself for his carelessness and stupidity. He was masking his vampiric aura, but was broadcasting his quickening at full blast. And it had just brushed against someone else's.

He looked around trying to determine who and where the other Immortal was. He really didn't want to have to fight them, but if it came to it, he would.

"What's wrong?" Cat asked softly as she noticed his agitation.

"Wrong universe." Xander said equally softly, still scanning for the other Immortal, and growing frustrated at his inability to find him or her.

"How do you know?" she asked in confusion. She had been sure this was the right one – it almost sang with the same energy her Xander radiated.

"Because there aren't any Immortals in the universe I come from. Where ever we are, we're still stuck in a movie or TV show or whatever. I just hope that the Immortals here aren't the damn aliens from the second movie. That would suck more than a universe full of different kinds of vampires."

Cat grinned at that, saying "Been there. It was kinda fun."

Xander glanced at her with a frown as he continued his futile scan of the people around him – he could still feel the other Immortal, but was having no luck in spotting them. "Which, with the stupid aliens, or lots of vampires?"

Cat said, "Vampires. I'll take you there some time. It'd be interesting to see them try to fit you into their structure."

Xander had finally spotted someone else looking around, A young looking blond guy headed, looking a little younger than himself appeared, and carrying a motorcycle helmet under his arm.

As he approached the boy, he locked eyes with him. The Immortal youth finally made it to within speaking range, "My name's Kevin Smothers."

"Xander Harris, pleased to meet you, Kevin." Xander replied.

"Where do you want to do this?" Kevin queried.

"Do what?" Xander asked, glancing at Cat.

"Spar. For the prize.", Kevin said, catching Xander's glance towards Cat, and assuming she didn't know about The Game.

"I don't, er, spar. For the prize. I don't want it, and am kind of attached to my parts."

Kevin scowled at this, and said, "You want me to just kill you here? Are you that much of coward? You seem attached to the young lady here. If you won't face me for yourself, what about for her?"

Xander felt a flash of red Passover his eyes at the implied threat against Cat, although a part of him was well aware that Cat could likely take care of herself in a one-on-one against even a slayer. An Immortal with only a sword would be hopelessly outclassed.

"Fine. Follow me, but I warn you, I won't take your head." Xander growled.

Cat moved up beside Xander as he led the way back towards the alley which sat behind the warehouse which stood where the Raven did in LaCroix's universe. "You know he can't touch me, right?"

Xander reached out and squeezed her hand, and offered her a smile as he said, "I know. But one like him, well, I can't leave him to possibly win the prize."

Cat nodded, then replied, "But Xander, if this is where I now thing we are, you can't take his Quickening, either. If you did, then no one would win the Prize here, unless you somehow lost your head. Or came back to claim it yourself. And you don't need it."

Xander shrugged, "So I don't cut off his head. Doesn't mean I can't chop the rest of him into pieces."

A noise behind them made him turn around even as a gunshot rang out, pain lancing through his core as a bullet punched its way through his left side, and blasted a large hole out his right, broken ribs visible through the exit hole as Xander fell to the ground.

A rough hand tugged Kusanagi from it's sheath, as Kevin spoke, "I've always enjoyed taking an Immortal with their own blade."

Xander watched through a haze of pain as his own sword arced through the air towards his own neck, but before it could arrive, everything faded to darkness as he blacked out, both his vampiric and Immortal physiologies overcome by the extent of the damage caused by the large hollow point he'd been shot with. His last sensation was the sound of Cat screaming in rage, then there was nothing.

Cat spun as she heard the gun go off behind her.

She whirled back towards Xander, to see a huge spray of blood erupt from his front on his right side, taking out the area where his heart would lay.

Cat watched in horror as Xander slowly crumpled to the ground, his eyes still open and pain and shock etched on his face as he fell.

The man, Kevin, she thought, lunged forward and grabbed the hilt of Kusanagi even as Xander's body came to rest on the ground, looking up.

"I've always enjoyed taking an Immortal with their own blade.", he said as he swung the blade down towards Xander's neck.

Cat was incensed. She was perfectly aware of the rules of "The Game" as the Immortals called it, she even knew what The Prize was, something the players were ignorant of. And what this Kevin was doing was against those rules.

Granted, it wasn't as against them as the No Fights On Holy Ground, rule, but this was certainly not meeting one another on open ground, one on one in willful combat. This was ambush. The fact that Xander wasn't a part of this Game, and wouldn't lose his "Quickening" even if he did lose his head didn't matter to her. All that mattered was that this fool was mounting a cowardly attack on HER husband. And she would not stand for that.

Moving swiftly, she created her own blade, and swung it horizontally at the miscreant.

Kevin wasn't worried. He had been surprised to see the other Immortal in HIS city. Everyone knew that he had claimed Toronto, and you only came here to meet him and die. That the fool was openly wearing his blade had seemed almost like a taunt to the Immortal.

The feel of the other's Quickening was off somehow, it had a twang to it which he had never felt before, but perhaps he was one of the old ones, or a very successful headhunter. He had heard, back when he still had so-called friends amongst the other Immortals that the older or more powerful Quickenings felt different. Perhaps this fool was even that Methos character. Not that it would matter.

When he approached the fool, the idiot tried to deny that he was interested in a fight. Perhaps he really was a coward, and ignorant of the danger of coming to Kevin's city. It didn't really matter, in the end, there could be only one. And Kevin would be that one, no matter what he had to do to insure it. If it meant stalking and killing a fool like this, then that is what he'd do.

When he threatened the other Immortal's woman though, that seemed to do the trick. So the fool started to lead HIM to a place to fight. In Kevin's own city. Kevin let him, dropping back so as to give the idiot and his woman some room. He let them talk as they walked, following quietly as they made their way right to the very alley Kevin would have recommended, had they asked him.

Seeing a golden opportunity to take a head without a fight, an option Kevin always preferred, he let them get even further ahead of them and carefully pulled his .44 out of his holster where he carried it opposite his blade. He kept the weapon loaded with hollow points so as to do the most damage - have the most stopping power against another Immortal. Never bring a sword to a gunfight, he liked to say.

Something must have tipped the other Immortal off, because even as he was sighting the weapon on the man's spine and heart, he started to spin around, reaching for that blade he carried so damn openly on his back.

Kevin fired. It was a perfect shot. It entered through the left side, just behind and under the arm, and exited the right-front, taking a large portion of the torso with it. A killing shot if ever there was one.

Casting the gun aside for the moment, Kevin lunged forward to grab that damn blade off the dying man's back.

Sliding it out of it's sheath, he pulled back and aimed the final blow, telling the fool as the light dimmed in his eyes, "I've always enjoyed taking an Immortal with their own blade."

He swung the blade down at the idiot's neck, even as the man's woman started to scream at him in rage. It was a shame, she was hot, but he'd have to kill her too as soon as he took this other one's head.

The blade continued its decent towards the fool's neck as he lay dead on the ground, then without reason, it stopped. In mid-air. As though it had hit a block of cement, the sudden change of movement painfully jarring his hand and arm.

Kevin was still looking at the blade, hovering securely in thin air several inches away from the fool's neck when he felt something tug at him around his hips. Something was wrong. And whatever it was, it hurt. A lot.

Cat swung her own blade through the bastard's lower torso, just above the hips, at the base of the spine. Her weapon, supernaturally strong and sharp, and wielded by a genuine Goddess sliced effortlessly through both flesh and bone, detaching the coward's torso from his legs quite nicely.

She stepped back and watched as he started to scream, releasing Kusanagi to hover in the air above Xander's neck, where she had stopped her own motion to protect her Bearer.

Cat would have to make a point of thanking the blade later. While losing his head would not be as final an end as her husband currently believed, it would take him quite a while to heal from it, and from what she had heard from the few other entities who had experienced such damage and recovered from it, it was quite painful as the nerves re-knit to reconnect the body to the brain, one at a time. If she could help her husband avoid such an experience, she would do so. Healing wasn't one of her abilities, but there were favors she could request, or even in some cases call in. Fortunately that wasn't going to be the case today, the damage the coward's bullet had done would be easily repaired by the combination of her husband's physiology.

The coward's body, however was a different matter.

Focusing some of her rage, she summoned one of the powers she did have, one inherited from her grandfather through her mother, and let the heat of the sun itself consume the severed lower half of the miscreant who had dared to attack her husband from behind. Let him face the rest of The Game crawling on the ground, like the worm that he was. She was tempted to remove his arms as well, thus rendering him truly defenseless, but after a few moments of contemplation, in which she considered the most painful ways she could remove said limbs permanently, she decided that that level of interference in their competition would be unacceptable, and she didn't want to cause complications by altering the balance of the equation too much.

Instead she simply grasped Kusanagi, and lifting her husband's body slightly slid the blade back into its scabbard, then lifting his large form completely into her arms, she raised their bodies up to the roof of the warehouse, and floated them in through the still open roof entrance, closing it behind them with a thought, before opening a portal back to their home, and carrying her husband back to their bed, where she could clean him up properly before he finished healing and awoke.

Surprise. Surprise marked Xander's first experience upon his return to consciousness; first and foremost at his return to consciousness, and secondly at the lack of pain. Thirdly was his surprise at the comfortable bed which seemed to be beneath him, the not-quite dark and quiet room he was in, and the soft warm body pressed softly against his left side.

As he stirred, the body shifted, and a face hove into view above him. "Xander? Are you ok now?" Cat asked him, her long ash-blonde hair falling around his head like a white curtain as her own hovered right above his.

He blinked up at her concerned face and offered a tender smile, "I think so. Nothing hurts, and I'm not in hell. I think this time I've gone to heaven."

Her smile blossomed and her face bobbed down to kiss his own.

When she broke the kiss and bounced back up she said softly, "I don't like that world. Let's not go there again, ok?"

Xander could only nod at her in agreement to her request. "What happened?" Xander asked, moving to sit up and look around. They were back in the apartment above the Raven.

"The cowardly bastard shot you, then the fool tried to use Kusanagi to kill you. She refused. I cut his legs off. Perhaps a bit more, not that he'll last in the game long enough to miss it." Cat growled.

"Kusanagi refused? How? It's a sword." Xander asked, confused.

Cat frowned at him and replied, " Kusanagi is not just a sword. I told you before, I think. She is a holy weapon, with a spirit, or kami, perhaps soul would be closer, but that's not quite right either. In any case, she is aware, she knows what is happening around her, she protects herself, and to a certain extent her bearer, which is why no one will ever question you for wearing her – if they can notice her at all, they will consider it appropriate for you to be wearing her. Only certain mystical beings will be able to wonder at her presence, and even then most likely because they aren't a threat to you in the first place. She can control her own movements, even move herself if she wishes, which allows her blows to be more accurate, as she will guide, and power herself to and through her targets, making her easier to wield. She is a powerful weapon, able to kill even a god. We are honored she has chosen you as her bearer. Had she not liked you, you would have lost her by now."

Xander blinked at this exposition. He remembered hearing some of this before, although not as concisely, or if it was, he must have been distracted at the time, because he certainly didn't recall hearing all this before. He would have remembered if someone had told him his sword was alive before, he was pretty sure. "So you're telling me that my sword, Kusanagi, is alive?"

Cat laughed at him and slapped him softly on the arm, "No, silly. She's a sword, she can't be alive. But she's aware. And that's what's important. So you should treat her more as a person. Don't call her an 'it' for example, that's just rude."

Xander blinked at that, then asked, "Uh, how can a sword have a gender?"

Cat shrugged, "I don't know, I just know that she does. Perhaps if you ever see Amaterasu Omikami you could ask her."

"Ok, If I ever start hanging around with gods and goddesses, and find myself having a casual conversation with Amaterasu I'll be sure to bring up Kusanagi and ask how it is she has a gender."

Cat frowned slightly at his remark and said, "You say that like it's unlikely to happen."

Xander shrugged, and looked at her as if to say 'Duh'.

Cat just smirked and pointed out, "I'm a sun-goddess. My mom is a sun-goddess, and my brother and grandpa are sun-gods. What, you think the other sun-gods and goddesses, of which Amaterasu is one, don't forget, wouldn't come by and visit on occasion?"

Xander blinked, never having thought of it in just that way, and then looked around his apartment, "I think we're gonna need a bigger place, and I really don't think entertaining sun-gods and goddesses in a vampire club is a good idea. And can you imagine the fallout if one of them accidentally blessed or consecrated the Raven?" Xander shuddered at the thought of all the not-really-evil vampires who gathered downstairs, not eating innocent people every night suddenly getting burnt up because a sun-god decided to drop by with a house warming gift or something.

Evening soon came, and with it Xander's third work shift at the Raven. Considering how the last two had ended, Xander spent most of the evening waiting for something bad to happen. Thus he was more than a little surprised when the evening ended, and the only thing out of the ordinary was that Nichola had remained behind, speaking with LaCroix and occasionally shooting glances at either himself or Cat, when he thought they weren't looking. The bulk of the patrons seemed overly polite, tipping both himself and Cat quite generously, together they ended the evening with well over eight hundred dollars in fives and tens, and quite a few twenties. Urs had been her usual friendly self, while Miklos seemed rather jovial, but tended to steer Cat to Xander whenever she had an order to be filled. The largest surprise turned out to be the other waitress, Vanessa. While on the first night she had simply ignored Xander, and on the second night had avoided Xander and been rather rude to Cat whenever their paths had crossed, tonight she had gone out of her way to appear friendly and helpful to both of them. Cat and Xander talked about it when they took a break, and neither one of them trusted her, Cat going so far as to call her a sneaking ass-kissing bitch, to Xander's shock.

But eventually the evening ended, and the Raven closed. As everyone was working on final clean-up, Nick came up to Xander and asked if he could accompany him and Cat back upstairs later.

Xander looked over at LaCroix, who both shrugged and nodded, as though to say he didn't care, and go ahead, then glanced at Cat who smiled at him and shrugged, so he told the detective it would be alright with him if Nick came up with them for a while.

Nick looked around the seemingly normal living room, taking in the simple furniture, looking like something Janette would have selected, so likely pre-existing, the empty video box on the coffee table, the missing video likely in the player atop the moderately large TV, and the opened door to a bedroom with a large, unmade be visible within.

Other than that single empty box and the cellophane which once contained it, and the unmade bed, there was little sign the place was actually occupied.

Turning though to the two occupants of the apartment, he took the pair in.

While he had met the young seeming dark haired male before, the short blonde behind him, with her hand absently rubbing his shoulder, as though seeking to either receive or offer tactile support.

The man's eyes were locked to his, as he asked pleasantly, "What can we do for you, Detective?"

Nick hadn't been expecting such a direct approach, instead anticipating a long and convoluted dance such as he was used to from his Sire and the other Ancients he had met.

"What, no preliminaries?" Nick asked in shock.

The man before him shook his head and moved towards the couch, the woman trailing behind, still linked by her hand. As he sat down he answered, "It's been a long day already, Detective. I just finished a full shift down stairs, and before that I was shot and killed rather painfully, so I missed dinner. So, I ask again, what can we do for you?"

Nick processed that last part, his detective instincts leaping to the fore, and asked, "Who shot you? What happened?"

The woman rolled her eyes, as her husband took a deep breath and let it out, saying, "It wasn't here. Or rather, it was, but not you're here, so it might as well not have been. It was in another world. Another Toronto. One I don't intend to return to, if I can help it."

Nick wasn't quite sure what to make of that. "Another Toronto?"

Xander sighed, and asked, "Are you familiar with the Multiple worlds theory?

Nick nodded.

"Well, been there done that, so not a theory. Now, how can we help you?"

Nick decided to just push straight to the point, since this Xander as he preferred to be called didn't seem to be into the whole dancing-around-the-issues thing the other Ancients preferred. "I've heard a lot of stories about you.", he started out.

Xander raised an eyebrow, and shot a look at his wife. "Good ones, I hope?"

Nick shrugged, "Depends. You beat up an Enforcer, or a whole room of Enforcers. You killed an Enforcer, or cursed him or something, and you are a God, or a Vampire, or a wizard or some such nonsense. Oh, and some folks want to issue you a public thanks for your intervention at the S-Mart."

Xander shook his head, "I don't do public appearances."

Nick offered, "I'm sure they could schedule it at night, if you'd prefer."

Xander just looked at him, then said, "Sun's not a problem for me."

Nick's eyes widened, "I'd wondered about that. So you're not a Vampire?"

Xander responded by dropping the shields on his aura, and letting his silver eyed and pointy toothed game-face show. "I'm a vampire" he said around his fangs, "Just not quite your kind."

Nick took a step back as the full force of the Ancient in front of him hit him, then his curiosity overtook his primal fear, and he retook that step and added another, closing to within a few feet of Xander, and peering into his silver eyes. "And the heartbeat? The body heat?"

Xander shrugged, letting his fangs retract and his eyes resume their normal appearance, "I'm still alive. One of the differences between me and you."

"One?" asked Nick.

Xander silently pulled Kusanagi from his back, drawing Nick's attention to it for the first time, and eliciting the realization that it had been there the whole evening. That he had known it had been there the whole evening. But simply hadn't cared. Nick watched as Xander carefully used the razor sharp blade to slice a shallow cut across the palm of his left hand, wiping the blade casually on his pants before sliding it back into the scabbard on his back while extending the bleeding hand towards Nick for his inspection.

Nick watched in awed fascination as tiny sparks of what looked like electricity started to dance along the length of the wound, seeming to stitch it closed. As the last of the mini lightshow faded, the remaining blood seemed to sink back into the skin, leaving no trace of the wound at all.

He looked up at Xander who simply shrugged, and said, "Like I said, I'm different."

Nick was silent for a few moments, then asked, "Are you a god?", his eyes jumping to Cat as he asked it.

Xander suddenly snorted. Then he giggled. Then he sat down on the couch laughing hysterically, while Cat and Nick looked on in confusion. "Sorry" Xander managed to choke out between bouts lf laughter. "It's just that." He broke down again, covering his eyes and now rolling uncontrollably on the couch, entirely overcome, before again choking out a single word, which sounded an awful lot like "Gozer" or possibly "Hoser" The only thing Nick could think of was that he was being insulted for being Canadian. Not that he was a real Canadian.

Xander finally managed to calm his laughter, although his eyes still shined with repressed mirth. "Sorry about that. But I really needed a laugh, and well, when you asked me that question, I had a Ghostbuster's flashback. You know the scene, with Vinkmen, Ray, and Winston on the top of the building, after Gozer tried to electrocute them, and Winston told Ray, 'The next time someone asks if you're a God, you say 'Yes!'.'

At both Cat's and Nick's blank looks Xander shrugged, "Well it was funny to me."

Nick was really confused now, "So you two aren't gods?"

Xander gestured at his wife, "She's a goddess. And I'm not just talking about her perfect beauty or personality, which would qualify her all alone in my book, I mean, she's a genuine, born of divinity able to do miracles goddess. Me, I'm just a man."

Nick shook his head at that, "That much I'm sure of, you aren't 'just' an anything. You are more powerful than any vampire I've ever felt, or even heard of. By the way, how old are you?"

Xander looked puzzled for a moment, then glanced at his wife, shrugged, and looked back to Nick, "By the calendar, by experience, or by personal history?"

Nick wasn't sure what Xander meant, "By the Calendar, of course." Xander did some quick math out loud, "This is 1995, so that'd make me, uh, fourteen, I think."

Nick blinked, "Fourteen what?" This, boy, was fourteen thousand years old? It was possible, he felt strong enough, but still.

"Fourteen years. Fifteen in a few months. If you go by the calendar, That's why I asked."

"Uh, so how else would you rate your age."

Xander shrugged, "Personal history is probably best. By that, I was seventeen when I went to Hell"

Nick interrupted, "Hell?"

"Firey place, full of demons and other bad things that want to eat you. Not a nice place to be. Sure don't plan on going back. Anyhow, I was there for about twenty, maybe twenty-five years, so say we go with the twenty-five, that's make me about forty two?"

Nick was confused again. He could feel the age of the vampire before him. It was older and stronger than his Sire's, by quite a bit. There was no way this person could be only forty years old. But he had mentioned a third measure of his time, "And experience wise?"

Xander shrugged, "O can't really say for sure, if you want to count parallel, then about four thousand, if you want to stack it and count it back to back, say seven to eight, maybe nine thousand, but it's even harder to tell than the time I spent in Hell."

Nick found himself sitting on the couch looking at the couple before him. Eight or nine thousand would fit the feel of the vampire he sensed. But it was almost as unimaginable a number as the fourteen thousand Nick had thought he'd first alluded to. To imagine that many memories, that much history, all in one mind, he realized it was amazing the man was not drowning in recollections every time he turned around. Nick was only eight hundred years old himself, and he found himself fading out to remember something from time to time. "How?" was all he could ask.

Xander seemed to understand the question despite its brevity, but his only answer was to shrug, "I just don't think about it. It's all there, and if I need it, I can get it, but for the most part, I ignore it. Oh, it has a tendency to influence me, but I live from day-to-day, not dwelling on past events, unless they can somehow help in the present. It probably helps that I'd been possessed before, and had developed a sort of mental immune system for foreign thoughts and memories."

"Foreign thoughts?" Nick asked.

Xander nodded, and said, "I think you need to know this anyhow. Let me first say that I am the last person to believe in prophecy or destiny, so don't take what I'm about to tell you as a roadmap of things to inevitably come, but rather as a warning of things which may be avoided, if they come at all.

They spoke until almost dawn, Xander explaining in detail how that Halloween had changed him, and the specific events he remembered from LaCroix's memories which pertained to things yet to pass in this universe. They also spoke of his actions wit the scoobies, and his time hi Hell, although not in as much detail.

As the sky outside the apartment's small windows started to brighten, Nick realized the time, and excused himself, made his way out of the apartment, and literally took to the sky to race the dawn back to his own home.

Xander and Cat went straight to bed, Xander stopping only long enough to pull the cord of the electric clock radio out of the wall and pull off his clothes.

Cat, or rather snowball at this point was already sitting on the bed, her clothes vanished along with her human form, and even as he laid down se had assumed her accustomed place on his stomach, and was purring contentedly as they both drifted off to a much needed sleep.


	13. Knight Errant Part 13 – Old Acquaintance

Part 13 – An old Acquaintance

Xander was the first to wake up the next morning, or rather, early afternoon. In an experience eerily like that of the first morning with Cat, he opened his eyes and looked at the sleeping beauty softly snoring, no, purring, in his arms.

Being very careful not to move, least he disturb her slumber, Xander took in her soft round face with the almost invisibly light colored eyebrows, and the long soft blonde hair, it's gentle blonde hue so soft as to appear white in some light, and deep burnished gold under other circumstances, like it did at present.

He took in the way the tip of her right ear peeked out through the web of her hair, looking in the muted light of the bedroom like a pink submarine barely hiding in a golden sea.

He felt her breathing softly against him, and he marveled. He marveled that such a beautiful, kind, and intelligent creature would want to be seen in his company, let alone profess to love him. And he marveled that though he had really known her for a bit over two days, he honestly couldn't imagine life without her anymore. It was then that he realized it, he had finished falling, in love, with her.

He marveled at the very thought and concept of loving someone, not in the way he loved Buffy, that had been more a lust which was killed entirely when she abused him with that dance to make dead-boy jealous, leaving a once week and shaky, but ever growing friendship in its wake, similar to the one he had shared with Jessie, but different as well. It was also not the way he loved Willow, his Wills, the sister of his heart and soul, who was as much a part of him as was his hand, even if he hadn't seen her in over twenty years or so. Nor was it the way he had once loved his parents before things had gotten bad around the house. This was a new kind of love. A different kind of love. And he marveled at it.

As if feeling his gaze on her, her shining green eyes opened, and a smile blossomed on her face. They lay there, neither actually moving, both looking into one another from mere inches away, for what seemed like hours, yet at the same time as far as Xander was concerned it was all too short a time, when Cat finally spoke softly, "Good Morning"

Xander smiled back, "I think it may be more like afternoon, but it's good whatever it is, as long as you are there."

Cat blinked at that, her expression somewhat quizzical as she tried to puzzle out what he may have meant.

Seeing her expression, Xander smiled, and asked softly, "Have I ever told you I love you?"

Cat shook her head, her expression darkening somewhat as she went over everything he had ever said to her, and she realized that indeed, he hadn't.

Xander on the other hand smiled wider, and bent over to kiss her beginning scowl away, whispering softly as he closed on her, "well I do."

As they broke apart a short while later, he finished, "Love you, that is."

And Cat kissed him again.

Figuring it was too late for Breakfast, Xander and Cat decided to go find a nice Brunch somewhere, instead of cooking at home.

So, after a quick shower and change for Xander, Cat declining use of the bathroom, and instead getting ready while he was showering, they headed out to the streets to find something to eat.

Eventually they settled on a small, homey looking Diner, with a large selection of assorted vehicles in the parking lot - indicating the place was likely popular, and possibly good - they headed inside.

A waitress waved them over to a booth, and they settled at a table. And Xander felt something. It was familiar, but not a sensation he ever expected to feel again. Looking suddenly around the cafe, he tried to spot the source.

Cat picked up on his actions, asking, "Xander? What's wrong?"

Xander shrugged, "I feel something..."

Cat's face grew concerned, "Another Immortal again?"

Xander shook his head, "No, I've felt this before, often. In Hell. It's a soul. An embodied soul, like the ones I encountered in Hell. Lucy's charges."

Still looking around, he suddenly spotted a familiar face, at the same time the face spotted him. As their eyes met, recognition flared, and Xander watched with a bit of concern as the other man arose from his place at the bar and made his way, carrying his cup of coffee, to their table.

"Can I sit down?' he asked in a soft voice, eyes still locked on Xander.

Cat silently got up and moved around the table to sit next to Xander, opening up the other side for the newcomer. Xander simply nodded. "Detective Stone." He said, curiosity evident in his voice, "What are you doing here?"

Ezekiel sat down, glanced at Cat, then back at Xander, and said. "Please tell me you aren't one of the hundred and thirteen."

Xander's curiosity was peeked, and he asked "Hundred and thirteen what?"

"Alexander Harris." came another familiar voice from just beside the table, "What a displeasure it is to see you again." The newest arrival then turned his focus on Cat and continued, "And you my lovely lady. May I extend my deepest apologies for any trauma you may have experienced during your unintended stay within my domain. I would have moved to intervene, but alas, I am bound, even in my own domain by treaties, compacts, and obligations."

Xander's face darkened at the sight of the newest arrival and he muttered, "Lucy.", turning to Cat he continued in a lower tone, "Speak of the Devil."

Unasked, Lucifer scooted in next to Zeke, turning to him and answering, "And no, Mr. Harris was never sent to my domain, so his departure was not considered an escape." Turning back to Xander he continued however, "Your presence has been missed, however. But we still have the company of the Vampire to entertain us, for now at least."

Xander blinked at that bit of unexpected news, not that Angel was still in hell, that he had expected, but that the devil was apparently expecting him to leave at some point or another. And didn't seem that upset about it. Ignoring the devil, Xander turned back to Ezekiel, and asked, "So Zeke, whatcha doin' here, and with such a charming companion? I wasn't aware that Lucy offered even his less guilty victims field trips to the outside world."

"Everyone's guilty, Mr. Harris. Never forget that. Everyone." The Devil inserted before Zeke could answer.

"There was an escape." Zeke started to say.

"About the same time your affianced was captured, as a matter of fact. The assault on Hell mounted by her family to attempt her retrieval was part of the diversion which allowed one hundred and thirteen of my more, interesting, charges depart my company without permission."

Xander was surprised, "You mean a hundred and thirteen people actually beat you and escaped all at once?"

Lucifer's face darkened to a scowl and he responded angrily, "No one beats the Devil. No one."

Ignoring the devil once again, Xander turned back to Zeke and asked him, "So are you one of the hundred and thirteen?"

Zeke shook his head, responding, "No. I'm the one who's supposed to track them down and send them back. So far I've gotten eighty four of them, only twenty nine left. And I'm glad to know you aren't on that rapidly shortening list."

Xander nodded in silent agreement, "Yeah, I really don't plan on going back there either." Glancing at the Devil, he went on, "The lack of plumming alone was torture. And the taste of some of those demons. Let alone having to deal with some of their thoughts and memories. Sickening."

Zeke looked confused at this, while the devil simply looked interested, "You er, consumed some of my minions?"

Xander shrugged, "Heh, I was in hell. I had to eat something." Glancing at Cat and remembering what she had told him the other day he amended that with, "or so I thought at the time."

Lucifer raised an eyebrow and asked, "Are you aware that consumption of demonic parts can lead to long term, complications? Transference of aspects of the demon being but one of the possible effects?"

Xander shrugged, "I was hungry, they were weak, I ate them. They would have eaten me in other circumstances."

Lucifer mused aloud, "I had known that you had dealt, terminally, with several demons during your stay, even more often after you acquired your, interesting weapon there. But I hadn't been aware you had been, er, feeding off them. I hadn't even considered the possibility, after all, most of those in my domain are already dead, and those which aren't are generally either working for me, or consumed, in one way or another in the constant power struggle faced by the lower ranks of demons."

He glanced at Cat, then looked back at Xander, continuing, "Which is why I'm rather grateful to you for preventing this young lady's becoming an actual sacrifice to Grumfistan. I mean, with the power he may have absorbed through the sacrifice of a virgin goddess, he may have felt confident to try and challenge me. Not that he'd of won, but he may have tried, and with that kind of power, it could have been, inconvenient."

Xander only absorbed one part of that entire statement, turning to look at a deeply blushing Cat, "Virgin?" he asked.

Cat shrugged. "So far. Blame my Mom and Brother. She was being sure I wouldn't follow in her steps as the next party-girl of the Gods, and he was always being WAY over-protective, beating up, threatening, and once even maiming anyone who he thought looked at me wrong. Between the two of them I never even got a date. The first time I managed to get off by my self, I got caught, trapped in cat-form with a spell, and dragged to Hell where I was traded to that demon who was going to sacrifice me, until you killed him."

Xander blinked at that, "Wait, when did I kill a demon lord? I don't remember killing any demon lords, and that's the kind of thing one would remember."

Lucifer laughed, and commented to Zeke, "Always modest. And the sad part is, he's being totally honest. I really won't miss his company, Ezekiel. Mr. Harris was like a breath of fresh air the whole time he was in my domain, blowing around everywhere and stirring up trouble by being good and kind and honest, giving people hope. Hope which by all reason they should have abandoned upon entry, I mean, doesn't anybody read the sign anymore?"

Xander turned back to Zeke, and asked, "So, since you aren't here to bring me back, who is it that you are after?"

Zeke turned to Lucifer, who laughed out loud, "Ah. Finally we get to the crux of the conversation. Yes, who exactly is it that you are here for, my dear Ezekiel? Have you looked at your remaining names and found the one who is next on your list? I can tell you this much, even with the name, and a picture, it won't help. Morris Smitz was in Hell for over fifty years, and in that time he learned a trick similar to that of your friend's betrothed. That of manipulating the matrix which is formed by his, essence, on this plane. He can alter his appearance to be anyone he wants. Before his time with me, he sought out and destroyed those he could never have, those who had scorned him throughout his life, the most beautiful women he could find, and he killed them in the most disfiguring and hideous ways he could devise, never repeating himself. Apparently he has decided to not repeat himself this time either, targeting instead of the ones he could never attain, the ones who could attain that which he never could." Lucifer gently rested a finger on an article in a paper sitting un-noticed until that moment on the table. "Oh, and good luck in finding him. For as I said, he's learned how to be anyone he chooses, anyone."

As he said that, he rose to is feet, and turned towards the door of the cafe.

"Mr. Harris, My Lady." Turning to face his hunter he concluded, "Ezekiel, I'll be seeing you, around."

Xander looked across at Zeke as he read the article.

"Well?", he asked.

Zeke looked up, "Someone murdered a 'Joshua Bennett'. Apparently he was the golden boy on the local tennis circuit. Everyone thought he was the most likely contender to take Wimbledon in a few years. He seems to have had it all, women, cars, money, and a promising future. Someone apparently pinned him face down in a tennis court, and literally shoved several cans of tennis balls up his rectum, causing massive internal damage, he eventually bled to death from the internal injuries. The coroner, a Dr. Lambert, thinks it would have taken several hours."

Xander looked up at that and interjected, "While I've never met her personally, I know Dr. Lambert through, a, mutual acquaintance. Would you like some help on this, or are you the lone wolf type who finds others just get in his way on an investigation?"

Zeke looked between Cat and Xander, asking "Don't you have other plans?"

Xander glanced over at Cat, who just shrugged at him while raising her eyebrows, so he turned back to Zeke and answered, "Nope. Not 'till about sundown. We've got to head back to The Raven about then for our work shifts, but otherwise we're free for the rest of the afternoon. You want to head over to the police station, see if Dr. Lambert is in yet, and if not when she will arrive?"

"When? It's three in the afternoon." Zeke asked in confusion.

"She's officially scheduled for the night shift. But she's a workaholic, spending a lot of time working, on, a, personal project of hers."

Zeke shrugged, "Sure. If you can make with the intros, it may smooth the way for her to release some of the real info on the case. You wouldn't happen to know this Detective Vetter, who's assigned to the case as well, would you?"

Xander grinned, "As a matter of fact…"

With that, Xander left some money on the table to cove the bill and a tip, and they made their way out to the parking lot, where the detective led them to a decrepit looking old Chevy Bellaire with California plates.

"Sorry about the ride, but I have one hell of an evil boss, and it's like making a deal with the devil to get anything out of him.. He sold me a car once, when I pointed out that walking everywhere would men it would take a lot longer for me to gather his errant charges, but the damned thing had come straight from hell, literally. After a short time I gave up trying to deal with it and sent it back."

They climbed in, Cat pushing the blanket and pillow in the back seat out of the way and sitting behind Xander who took shotgun, while Zeke got in the drive's seat and started the car. Which shuddered violently and emitted a single loud "bang" along with a cloud of dark smoke from the front, before falling silent once more.

"Damnit!" swore Zeke, pounding on the steering wheel. "Well, I don't think we're going anywhere in this thing for a while. Sorry guys."

Xander looked over to Cat, caught her eyes, and said carefully, "Well, we might be able to help with that." He smiled at her and shrugged, asking "Cat, can you go get our car?"

Cat looked silently back at him, confusion evident on her face, and a question shining in her eyes.

Xander shrugged, and said, "If it's not something you could ever get here, then I'd think it'd be ok, especially when there is a need. In this case, it'd do more good than harm, at least as far as I can tell."

Another glance at the dilapidated vehicle before them indicated exactly what he was referring to.

Suddenly she brightened, and hopped off around the corner of the building, disappearing for a few moments.

Zeke looked back at Xander, and asked, "What was that about?"

"Oh, I introduced her to a new philosophical outlook the other day, and she's trying to adjust her actions to meet the concept of fractional damages."

Zeke wasn't any less confused than he had been when a long gleaming black vehicle quietly whined as it made its way around the corner of the building, Cat at the wheel. It pulled silently up to a stop by the two men, and she leaned out the diver's side window, and smiling said, "Jump in, guys."

Xander climbed into the back, looking around noting that the vehicle was cleverly outfitted as a miniature RV. It had what looked like a bed over the driver's and passenger's seats, a bathroom in the back, a kitchenette to the side next to the door, with a small table opposite it, situated a bit back from the two front seats, and centered so it shared a view through the windshield was a third seat, currently facing forward, which was a clever rotating recliner seat, with a seatbelt, allowing it to be used as a third passenger seat, or a comfortable chair for looking a the flat screen television mounted on the center of the bathroom wall, which was currently showing a view from a camera apparently mounted on the rear of the vehicle, providing an actual rear-view window, despite the wall and small room blocking the way.

Zeke looked around the gleaming showroom-new interior, and commented, "Whoah. What is this thing?"

Cat grinned and caught Xander's eyes in the rear view mirror, "It's a Tucker Electric RV. It's got four brushless electric drive motors, one for each wheel, which are run off the main batteries. Batteries are replenished through the external solar cells, a standard 110v. umbilical cord, when there's a plug-in available, or a small hydrocarbon fuel cell. The fuel cell generates enough power to run the whole vehicle and air conditioning at the top speed of just over 120 kilometers per hour without depleting the batteries, or will automatically recharge the batteries when they drop below a critical level while operating at a lower consumption. If you were to run it only on the fuel cell, it'd get about eighteen miles to the gallon from regular unleaded gas, or twenty five per gallon of diesel. The fuel cell's adaptive, so it'll process whatever you fill the tank with, just be sure you run it dry before shifting fuels, otherwise it might need to get cleaned out, and good luck finding anyone who can work on it, and you can just about forget about getting parts for it. They simply don't exist."

Zeke's eyes just glossed over, listening to the specs on the vehicle.

"Damn. I wish I had something like this instead of my clunker."

Xander spoke up from behind him, "Well, we never use it. Tell you what, Zeke. You promise to take care of it, and it's yours." He caught Cat's gleaming eyes and eager smile in the mirror, and asked, "Right Cat?"

Cat just nodded, "It'd be perfect for you, Zeke, it doesn't need much in the way of maintenance, as long as it's on this continent, and it'd give you someplace better to spend the nights than that blanket on the back seat of your car."

Zeke shook his head in denial, "No. This thing must have cost you a fortune. No way I could take it."

Xander interjected, "Nah, it really didn't cost that much. It's a..." Xander trailed off, not sure exactly what to say without revealing the fact that Cat just made it up out of nothing.

Cat spoke up, "Prototype. And the company which made it went out of business. Never managed to make any cars other than a single run. Bankers closed them down before they could actually get off the ground. Which was a shame, as they had a lot of good ideas. Had they made it, who knows what they would later of developed."

Zeke looked around again, wistfully eyeing the posh interior, but again demurred, "Look, I appreciate it, but really, I've already taken care of most of the escapees here in North America. The rest I'm going to have to pursue elsewhere. While it's a nice gesture, I really can't accept it. Besides, it doesn't even look like it's been used once. I'm sure you guys got it for some reason. I couldn't take it before you even got a chance to enjoy it."

Cat looked crushed, but Xander wasn't willing to give up just yet, "Heh, listen to me Zeke. I can honestly tell you I won't miss this RV if you take it. The way we got it, it's almost like it was meant for you, we don't even have any place to park it. We got it because..." Xander was at a loss again, looking frantically at Cat for ideas.

"It was on ebay. And we were the only ones who bid on it." She answered.

"What's an ebay?" Zeke asked.

Xander glanced at Cat, who nodded, and answered "It's an Internet thing. You go and place a bid for stuff, and if no one offers more, you win it. We just bid a hundred bucks, mostly for a joke, really. But we won, so we're stuck with this thing. So, if you can use it, and want it, really, it's yours."

Zeke looked wistfully around the interior as Cat maneuvered the RV through the streets towards the coroner's office, "Come on, tell you what, we'll trade you for the Bellaire. I always wanted a clunker to fix up. It kind of reminds me of my Uncle Rory's car, in a way."

Cat caught his eyes in the mirror again, another question floating there, but Xander wasn't sure what it was so simply shrugged at him, and she returned her concentration to the road before them.

Zeke finally gave in to his own wishes and his friend's logic.

"Fine. Trade for the Bellaire, and I owe you guys the hundred you paid for it in the first place."

"No rush on that, just pay Cat whenever, she's the one who really got it for us."

Zeke turned towards her as she deftly maneuvered the small RV into the parking lot by the precinct's police station, and the adjacent coroner's office.

"No problem. I'm just glad that you'll take it off our hands. We really didn't need it, you know."

Zeke just shook his head in wonder as e looked again around the inside of what he supposed was now his new home as Cat parked the vehicle and shut down the power. It may take him some getting used to a vehicle which was so silent.

"Well, let's go see if Dr. Lambert is in, shall we?" Xander asked, unbuckling his seat belt, as Cat tossed the keys to the RV across the center console to Zeke.

They then got out and headed for the doors to the building.

Following LaCroix's memories, Xander led Cat and Zeke through the halls and down to the morgue, where he hoped to find Nat and convince her to share the generally confidential information from the autopsy so that the Detective may have a chance at catching the evil soul before it killed again.

As they walked in, Xander looked around the cluttered room, and was disappointed to see that it was empty of red headed coroners, or anyone else for that matter.

Turning to the Detective, Xander was about to recommend that they head over to the prescient and check on when Detective Vetter, who he sort of knew, would be coming on-shift.

But even as he opened his mouth to speak, he felt another embodied soul approaching. "Stone, make yourself scarce, someone like yourself is coming." Xander whispered instead.

Zeke, catching the reference moved over to the wall behind the door, and pulled out his gun.

The door swung open, and a burly hispanic man came through, pushing a cart with a new 'patient' on it.

He was dressed in scrubs, and it was almost certainly from him, and not the stiff that the feeling was emanating.

As he came into the room, he caught sight of the man and the woman standing in the center of it, looking right at him.

He smiled at them and said, "I'm sorry folks, but this is a restricted area, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Xander looked back at him, then took a few steps forward, as though getting ready to head out the door, but stopped once he had passed the newcomer. Cat, on the other hand had remained where she was, and with Zeke off to the side, they now had the man surrounded.

Xander spoke, Zeke still unnoticed where he stood unmoving against the wall, his gun in his hand pointing at the floor. "Excuse me, but I'm looking for someone."

The man blinked at this, but smiled again anyhow, and said, "Be that as it may, but I'm still going to have to ask you to leave."

Xander stepped a bit closer to the man, and continued, "I'm hoping you can help me find him, his name is Smitz, a Mr, Morris Smitz, would you know him perchance?"

The color drained out of the man's face and he stepped forward menacingly, "Morrie? Damn you, I told you to stay the fuck away! If you lead that hunter here…"

The reaction surprised Xander, who reached over his back to draw Kusanagi, just in case he needed to defend himself from this man.

"I'm not Smitz, I told you I was looking for him. And from your reaction, you must know him. So, where would he be?"

Stone had finally moved away from the wall, his action bringing the hispanic's attention to him, who whirled around, realizing that between the three of them he was surrounded. "Shit" he muttered, then started backing towards the apparent lesser of the three threats, Cat.

"Look, man, I don't want any trouble, man. I've been good, man. I haven't done a thing to no one, honest. You, you can ask anyone, go ahead, man, just ask 'em."

Cat, noticing the man moving backwards towards her, got ready to move if she had to. While she may look like a normal 4'11 girl, in reality she was both faster and stronger than a Slayer, being a full Goddess.

So she was more than ready when, in his own display of superhuman speed, he spun around and grabbed her by the neck, pulling his body in front of her as a shield against Xander's blade, or more importantly to him, Zeke's gun.

"Ok, that's it, Hunter. Drop the gun, and back out of here, or this bitch gets her neck broken. How the hell did you find me anyhow? I've been keeping a really low key profile around here, only doin' the stiffs what come in naturally. If I had thoughta it the first time 'round I'da never been caught."

Xander took in the grin on Cat's face, plainly visible to both himself and Zeke, yet hidden by her head from the man holding her. "Who the hell are you?" Xander asked.

"Pablo Gomez, but if you didn't know that already, then why the fuck are you here holmes?"

Xander didn't answer, instead looking over momentarily to Stone, to see if the name meant any more to the detective than it did to him. The lack of recognition however was plain on his associate's face.

Turning back he shrugged at the escapee, indicating he had no clue who the man was "Shit. You fuckers really were here for Morrie. Godamn mother fucker!"

Stone finally spoke, "Yeah, we're here for Morris. If you help us, maybe we can work a deal. Let the girl go, and we'll talk, ok?"

Pablo looked between the two men facing him, slowly maneuvering so that his back was towards the door, hoping that he could break the bitch's neck and throw her at them, giving him enough time to escape before they could come after him.

Unnoticed by him, the door now somewhat behind him swung open to admit Dr. Lambert, who froze literally in mid-step as she took in the tableau before her incredulous eyes. Her new assistant was holding some woman by the neck, as a pair of men, one armed with a sword, and the other with a pistol faced off against him.

Suddenly, before she could decide what to do about it, the woman in the man's arms moved.

Cat spun herself forward and around, the force of her motion dragging Pablo off the ground and flipping him to land on his back on the floor before her, momentarily stunned, both by the speed of the action, and by the fact that it HURT. Nothing had hurt him since his escape from hell. Realizing suddenly that she must be the Hunter, not the two men, he started to bunch his legs, so he could roll away before she poked his eyes out with whatever she was planning on using to dispatch him.

Nat's breath caught at the inhumanly fast movement from the woman before her. Thinking a vampire had gotten in the morgue somehow, she started trying to think of what she could do to calm down the situation. Then everything went insane.

Zeke, seeing an opening, immediately took aim, and shot Pablo in the left eye.

As his necroplasmic matrix started to rupture, energy flowing out of the puncture like a glowing smoke, Pablo rolled to try and protect his other eye, only for Cat to reach down and lift him up off the ground by his head.

Pablo struggled to escape as Cat firmly held his head still, looking up at Stone she said calmly, "Detective, please take your shot." Looking down at the panicked Pablo, she continued, "I'm not a Bitch by any means. I'm much worse."

Nat watched as the man with the gun shot her assistant in the eye, somehow not killing him but rather releasing some sort of glowing smoke from the wound. The vampire then grasped the struggling man, and held his head still while she addressed first the gunman, then her victim.

There was a second shot, and she watched in horror as somehow Pablo's whole body seemed to dissolve into that same smoke, which swirled into a vortex before fading away to nothing, leaving Nat alone in the morgue with a Vampiress, and two strangers, one of which held a gun, and the other a sword.

Apparently she was not unnoticed either, as the gazes of the two men drew the attention of the vampire to her as well, the woman turning slowly around and looking her up and down, before commenting, "Xan, is this the Dr. Lambert we were looking for?"

Zeke on the other hand was looking at his arm, as one of his many tattoos suddenly turned to smoke and vanished, leaving clean, unblemished skin behind it. One more down, only twenty eight left to go, and he was a free man again.

Nat held her breath, glancing at the cooler where she always kept several bags of medical blood these days, in case she had any, hungry, patients. Somehow she didn't think these three would be satisfied with a simple baggie of plasma however.

The man with the sword spoke, "Dr. Lambert? I'm an friend of Nick's."

That about nailed it then, they were vampires. But what had they done to Pablo? She'd never seen anything like that before in her life. "Uh, may I ask who you are, and what I, uh, can do for you?"

The man before her sheathed his sword with a graceful flourish, and smiled disarmingly at her, "Alexander Harris, call me Xander. And I was hoping you could help Detective Stone here in an, unusual and highly, confidential investigation. I know you can be discrete when dealing with certain, matters."

Nat blinked at that, then glanced at the vampire, and back at the man who was putting away his gun, presumably the Detective Mr. Harris had referred to.

"Um, I don't know. What exactly would you want me to do for you?"

The so far silent man, presumably Detective Stone, stepped forward, extending his hand in greeting, "Good evening, Doctor. My name is Ezekiel Stone, and I'm chasing down twenty nine, well now twenty eight fugitives from supreme justice."

Nat looked confused at that, then her eyes were drawn to the spot Pablo had vanished from. "What kind of fugitives, exactly?"

"Several months ago, there was a mass escape." Detective Stone began.

Xander broke in, "Not from an ordinary jail or anything. This place is supposedly more permanent. You've probably heard of it, Hell? Not a pleasant place, trust me, I spent almost twenty years trying to get out of there myself, and I wasn't even a prisoner."

Nat blinked at that, not sure what to make of such an outrageous claim.

"Dr. Lambert?" Xander asked, softly, breaking her out of her musings.

"Yes, Mr. Harris?"

"Xander, please. I hear Mr. Harris, and even though I haven't seen his sorry ass in over twenty years, I still look around for my father. I know what I'm telling you seems ridiculous. But consider, how much more ridiculous is it than vampires which can fly and are burned by religious icons?"

Nat wasn't sure how to take that. She knew Vampires were real. She was pretty sure that there were perfectly sound scientific explanations for everything including the most likely psychosomatic response to religious paraphernalia. The ability to fly may be an advanced form of telekinesis as well. But even assuming that there were no scientific explanations for Vampires, their existence did not in and of themselves offer any indications that an actual Heaven, or Hell existed. And she was not willing to take on faith, even with allegedly first hand testimony, the existence of either. "Ridiculous or not, without proof, scientifically testable and confirmable evidence, I would find it hard to provide any credence to such a claim."

Xander looked at Cat. Cat shrugged. "What kind of proof would you want?" Xander asked.

Nat was lost. While it was she who had asked for proof, she really wasn't sure what exactly she would accept as evidence of the existence of Hell. "How did they get out, and how did you get in or out?"

"Portals." Xander replied.

Nat looked at him dubiously, "That's it? 'Portals'? One word to explain everything?"

Xander shrugged, "Don't ask me, I can't open 'em. Cat here, she can, but I wouldn't ask her to open a portal to Hell. Or to the last place we visited, either. Some fool shot me dead and was getting ready to cut my head off before Cat intervened and saved my neck."

Cat smiled, then said, "I know a nice, quiet place the Doctor could visit for a few moments, if it would help her believe."

Nat looked back at Xander, and then glanced at the silent Stone, before looking back at Cat. "What is a 'Portal' exactly? I know the word means doorway, but the way you use it, it seems to have more of a meaning to it than just that."

Cat closed her eyes, concentrating on something, and then a six foot round 2 dimensional disk appeared floating in the air before her. To Nat, who was standing at an angle to the disk, it almost appeared oval, but as she moved around the swirling disk of color she could see it was in actuality round, and so thin as to be nonexistent when viewed edge-on.

"That would be a Portal." Xander answered.

Nat looked quizzically at Cat, "How did she?"

Cat shrugged, "It's something I do."

Xander had moved himself to a new position so he could see Cat past the portal, and asked her, "Where's it go?"

Cat grinned and answered, "A big, empty desert. Not Hell, but pretty hot all the same."

Nat looked up at that, then said, "So what, you want me to walk into your disk thingy and get kidnapped or something?"

Xander sighed, "Yeah, that was our evil plan, we would come in here and vanquish your demonic assistant, then demand information on a case, obliquely referring to Hell so you would demand we open a portal as proof of our claims just so we could kidnap you. Much simpler than simply hitting you over the head and dragging your unconscious form of to participate in our other nefarious schemes."

Nat took a step back from the exasperation emanating from the young man before her. Although if she considered that he had claimed to spend twenty years in the actual hell, he couldn't be as young as he appeared, unless he had gone there as an infant. "Sorry, this is just a little, wait ,what do you mean demonic assistant? And what did you three do to Pablo?"

Zeke spoke up at that point, "Sent him back to Hell, where he belonged. I don't know what he had done, or when, but I bet if you look up Pablo Gomez in the criminal archives you will find something very not-nice. The ones which escaped were amongst the worst of the worst down there."

Nat wasn't sure how to take that. Pablo had demonstrated a temper. That was certain, but she wouldn't have pegged him as an escaped demonic soul. Not that she had ever considered the physical possibility of souls previously, demonic or otherwise. "And that glowing smoke from his eye when you first shot him?"

Zeke shrugged, "The eyes are the windows to the soul. Break them and you send the soul back where it belongs. Apparently when one is damaged, the matrix of, energy, I guess, which forms the body starts to unravel. Given time the damage either spreads or reverses, healing the damaged eye. If the second eye is also ruptured, the matrix collapses, and the soul opens its own portal back to where it belongs."

Nat looked again at the colored disk swirling before her, then she asked, "So what, I just step through?"

"It is called a portal. Like you said, a doorway. Go ahead." Xander replied.

As Nat stepped towards the surface of the disk, Xander moved to follow her with a glance at Cat. Looking over at Zeke he said, "Stay here, we shouldn't be long."

Nat reached a hand towards the surface of the disk and pushed it through, "It tingles. And it's hot on the other side. I think I can feel the sun." She pulled her hand back and looked at it, as though inspecting it for damage. Then she gave a shrug and stepped through, vanishing from her word.

Xander and Cat followed her moments later, the Portal vanishing with a "Floop" sound, leaving the Zeke alone in the quiet morgue.

Nat stood on the top of a dune, an endless vista of yellow sand stretching to the horizon on all sides of her. The hot sun was causing her to sweat underneath her white lab coat, and she really wished she had brought her sunglasses.

Behind her on the dune stood two other forms, their shadows pooling around their feet. A line of footprints stretched trough the sand up the side of the hill from where they made an abrupt appearance about halfway down.

Turning to squint through the glare at her companions she asked, "This is really a different world?"

"Universe, or as some people refer to it, dimension. But yeah. It's still earth, just a different earth. As opposed to Hell, which doesn't quite follow the same rules as here. I told you I'd never ask Cat to open a portal back there, I certainly don't want to return. Ever." Xander said.

Cat simply stood silently by his side, her exposure to the glaring sun putting to rest any thoughts that she may have been a vampire in Nat's mind. "Are you ready to go back yet?" she asked softly.

Nat simply nodded, and Cat closed her eyes in concentration, as Nat noticed motion in the sky. Something was flying over the endless desert of sand. As if spotting them amongst the dunes, whatever it was suddenly changed course, heading towards them.

As Cat's portal swirled into existence next to them, Nat looked up in a combination of both wonder and horror as the flying object resolved its self to her vision as it drew closer. But her mind rejected her observation as fast as it could form, dragons weren't real.

Xander had noticed the approaching object as well by this time, and turning to Cat he asked softly, "Uh, Cat honey, are the dragons here friendly?"

Cat had just reopened her eyes and looked up at the approaching behemoth flying through the air on giant scaled wings, the sunlight reflecting off them in shimmering rainbows of color. It looked both beautiful and deadly. "Um, no?" she offered.

"Nat, let's get moving, ok?" Xander asked, guiding her swiftly towards the portal with one hand, while pulling the sword off his back with the other.

Nat threw one more glance over her shoulder at the approaching dragon before stepping through the shimmering disk before her and finding herself back in the Morgue. She was nudged out of the way as Cat was apparently shoved through after herself, followed closely by Xander, who came through off the ground and facing backwards.

A single claw poked through the portal, shimmering like mother of pearl as the disk suddenly contracted and vanished with a Snicket sound, as the two foot long razor sharp protuberance fell to the floor with a dull thump.

Xander looked at Cat and said, "Let's not go there again either, ok?"

Cat just smiled at him and shrugged, "What is it with you? I can't take you anywhere without someone or something trying to kill you."

Nat bent over to pick up the long thin opalescent claw resting on the floor, and carefully holding it by the smoothly severed base examined the shimmering colors as light played over it's surface. "What is this made of?"

Xander shrugged and looked at Cat.

Cat said, "Dragon's claws are one of their natural weapons. Like any animal's claw it is a part of the creature it comes from. It is a modified bone."

Nat hefted it carefully in her hand, noting "It's so light."

"Dragon bones have to be both light and strong. Otherwise they'd never get off the ground, even with magic to help lift them." Cat answered.

"Could I keep this to study it?" Nat asked.

Xander looked at Cat, who shrugged. Xander answered, "Tell you what. You help Detective Stone track down Morris Smitz, and as long as you restrict yourself to little samples from the base of it, I'll let you examine the heck out of my new dragon claw."

Nat's eyebrows rose as she looked at the shining object in her hand, "Your dragon claw?"

Xander shrugged, "Well, it was me he was trying to skewer. So yeah, my new dragon claw."

Nat surrendered, contenting herself to at least being able to run tests and take samples as he said from the base of the claw.

Cat however spoke up, 'Be very careful Dr. Lambert. The claws of a dragon are very sharp. And as the dragon is still alive, even though it's here and the dragon isn't, it's still a part of the dragon. What that may mean I'm not sure. But I wouldn't physically make contact with it anymore than necessary."

Nat reluctantly set the claw down on the counter, and stepped away from it. "So, what is it you need to know? I've never even heard of this Morris Smitz character."

"The tennis-ball killer. I have it on good," Xander made a face and corrected himself, "Ok, not good so much as relia, no, crap. Look, we got a tip from a source who should know that Morris was the one who killed the tennis player."

Nat raised a quizzical eyebrow at this, and asked for clarification, "Just who is this source of yours which you won't call good or reliable, and yet you place credence in?"

Xander smirked at her with a lopsided grin and asked, "Would you believe, the devil?"

Nat just shook her head, not quite certain if he was joking or not. "Well there's not a lot I can tell you, from the body. He was restrained face down on the clay with his limbs restrained by broken rackets driven into the ground, despite the force it would take to do so. The balls were likewise inserted through the rectum, doing significant damage upon entry, the first ball should have been almost impossible to shove through the opening due to the size differentials, once the tissues were shredded by the first one though the subsequent balls would have presented little relative difficulty as they shredded the intestines and displaced the internal organs. Death would have occurred after a few minutes due to the massive internal bleeding and damage to vital organs. Aside from the simple physical impossibility of the assault, there's not much I can tell you. My first assumption had been that the perpetrator was of supernatural origin, one of Nick's acquaintances, although indirectly. If actual demons exist however, this may be more their style I suppose. No one attempted to consume the blood, which was the only point against vampires. Although the attack did occur at night."

"Anything else, anything we might be able to use?"

"Well there was one other bit of information which we declined to share publicly, along with the particular nature of the restraints, he was entirely nude, his clothes still inside the house, and from what we could tell had recently had intercourse, like perhaps immediately prior to his death. But we haven't been able to identify any potential partners as far as I had heard. You'd really need to talk to Nick or Tracy to confirm that however."

Cat blushed a bright red, as Zeke looked up from the notebook he'd been writing in, and asked, "You saying he got off just before someone offed him?"

Nat nodded, attempting to suppress her grin. "More or less. He may have simply masturbated, with males it is sometimes difficult to tell, but an analysis of his organs indicated ejaculation within a brief time of his demise."

"Ok, thanks, Doc. If there's anything else you find out, please contact Xander via the Raven, and hopefully he can get a hold of me." Zeke extended a hand to shake Nat's.

Nat shook the proffered hand, then looked enquiringly en back at Xander and Cat, who smiled, "We work for LaCroix."

Nat had to ask, "At the raven? Wouldn't that present a, problem?"

Cat giggled as Xander replied, "It was a little rough at first, but they know to leave us alone now."

Looking at his watch, Xander went on, "I see it's getting close to four. I don't think Tracy will be in for another hour at least."

Zeke interrupted him saying, "Four? It's ten after five already. You guys must have lost time while you were playing chase-the-dragon on the other side of that portal."

Xander frowned, then looked at Cat who shrugged, "You know, honey, I think there is something you can get for me. How about a new watch, one which shows the time here, and the time there, no matter where here or there are. Is that possible?"

Cat just shrugged, "I never really paid attention to time before. It just was whenever it was. Artificial segmentation was unimportant. I mean, this is the first time I ever had a real job, you know?"

Xander hugged her, and said, "Oh well. It would have been nice to know that the clock was running faster on this side for a change."

Cat looked up at him and said, "I could have told you, if you'd asked."

Xander shrugged, "Honestly, it never even crossed my mind."

Zeke broke in, "So, are we going to go find Detective Vetter, or are you two going to just waste time arguing about time?"

Xander glanced back at Cat, then looked at Zeke, and gave a wave towards Nat saying, "Let's go. Doctor Lambert, I'll see you later. Be careful with my Dragon claw!" as he led them out of the morgue and towards the bullpen where he hoped they could catch Tracy before he and Cat had to head back to the Raven for their shifts which started at six.

Leading the way into the bullpen, Xander swiftly spotted Tracy's bond hair shining in the florescent lights as she walked out of Captain Reese's office.

Leading Cat and Zeke, he angled his path so they would intercept her before she returned to her and Nick's desks. As he closed on her, he called out, "Detective Vetter"

Hearing her name, Tracy looked up and saw Xander, the young man, or if Vashon was to be trusted not really either, which she had met a few nights before at the S-Mart where he had stopped a group of serial armed robbers in a rather ruthless way, using the same sword she casually noted he was currently wearing on his back. "Mister Harris, what can I do for you?" she asked, taking in his two companions.

One of them was most likely, again according to Vashon, the self-proclaimed goddess Mrs. Harris, at least she should be based on his descriptions. The other was a complete mystery.

"Detective, I'd like you to meet Detective Zeke stone. Detective stone is working on a case of yours." Xander said by way of introduction.

"No he's not. I don't share my cases with anyone, and I've certainly never even heard of this Stone." Tracy said, frowning at the newcomer.

Zeke tried to smooth things over, "Actually, you could say you are working on a case of mine. I've been perusing a perp for a while now, and I think he committed a crime on your plate."

Tracy lost her scowl, but wasn't willing to give on the matter either, "So who is this perp, which case is it, and what can you tell me about MY case before you return to wherever you belong?" Tracy wasn't sure what it was about this Stone character, but he was giving her an uneasy feeling, and she really wanted as little to do with him as possible.

"His name is Morris Smitz, and he's most likely the perp in your Tennis Player's murder. It certainly matches his M.O. and an informant fingered him to me, which is why I'm here." Stone explained.

"Ok, got a picture to go with the name? We'll put an APB out on the SOB and drag him in here before he can get to the local 7-11 and back with a slurpee."

Stone shook his head, "Unfortunately no. He is remarkably adverse to having his picture taken for one thing, and is a literal master of disguises for another, so even if I did have a photo it would be useless in tracking him unless he wanted us to track him for some reason."

Tracy exhaled in exhasperation, "So you have a name, but no description or picture. Do you at least have a detailed psych profile I can use to trace him?"

Stone shrugged, "I got me. I have his general M.O., which is to go after people he perceives as having what he never could have attained in life, to punish them for being 'better' than himself, and to do it in ever more sick and original ways. Other than that, I'm more hoping you could share some of the information on the case, and then I could tell you what it likely means."

Tracy shook her head, "I told you, I don't share my cases, and I don't know what it is about you, but something feels off. Why don't we go have a little chat with Captain Reese, and he can call your Captain and maybe get us the case information so we can have a professional create us a profile, instead of having to go with your 'gut feelings' whatever they may be."

Stone started to backpedal, saying "That's ok. There's no need to bother your Captain. I'm sure we can work this out between ourselves."

Tracy's eyes narrowed, but Xander interjected, saying "Actually, Zeke, that's not a bad idea. Why don't we go see the Captain while Tracy here gets the files ready for us?"

Tracy started to protest, but before she could say a thing, Nick came in and seeing Xander and Cat by his desk and talking to his partner, who looked about ready to explode, called her over to him so he could find out what had her so wound up.

Xander in the meantime gestured to Cat, and Zeke, who followed him to the Capitan's office.

Knocking on the door, they entered at the bellow of "Yes?"

Xander carefully closed the door behind themselves, and reached out for the Captain's mind. Speaking slowly, he said, "Captain Reese. This is Detective Stone from the New York Police Department. You have called his department and spoken to his own Captain, and have agreed that it is important he work with your officers in capturing the multiple murder and notorious disguise artist Morris Smitz. What paperwork should he have from both his own and your own governments to facilitate this exchange of cooperation?"

Reese blinked, then answered, his voice seemingly dead and flat, "He should have the files on Morris Smitz, he should have a Diplomatic Visa, a permit to carry, and an extension of police authority from the government. He should also have his current police identification and diplomatic identification from the US government."

Xander looked at Cat who grinned and handed a few folders and laminated cards over to Xander even as the Captain mentioned them.

Xander passed them to the Captain, and said, "Is there anything else he will need?"

The Captain shook his head, and Xander replied, "Thanks. Please be sure to let Detective Vetter know she needs to extend her fullest cooperation in this investigation."

Reese blinked, then opened his mouth, and his expression coming back alive bellowed at the top of his lungs, "Vetter!"

Five minutes later, Xander and Cat bid a good evening to Detective Stone, giving him a card with the address of the Raven where he would meet them later that night, then heading to a deserted alleyway behind the prescient station, they took to the air in an attempt to make it back to the Raven in time to start their shifts for the evening.


	14. Knight Errant Part 14 – Fish or Cut Bait

Part 14 – Fish, or Cut Bait.

Surprisingly Xander and Cat's shifts were once more quiet.

Even late in the evening, when Detective Stone finally made his appearance, no one commented on the apparent human who walked in to the club past the bouncer, having dropped Xander's name at the door, and made his way to the bar where Xander waved him to a seat and set him up with a simple non-alcoholic, non-animal-based beverage on the house.

Not to say that the human nursing a coke didn't attract some attention. But as word spread amongst the vampires that this one knew Xander and Cat, a buffer zone naturally appeared around him, leaving him alone to sip his drink.

Not even any Enforcers chose to question the presence of the Mortal at the bar, one having looked over at him, then catching Xander out of the corner of his eye uttering an almost silent "Romonov" to himself before deciding to call it an evening a bit early and head home.

Finally, Last Call was followed by Closing Time, and the vampires filtered out of the club leaving the employees and their guest.

LaCroix finally came by, and settled into a stool before his latest bartender, and beside is guest. "So, Alexander, who is this gentleman who's presence had graced my establishment?"

Xander looked up from where he was straightening up the inventory behind the bar. "Lucien LaCroix, may I present Detective Ezekiel Stone. The detective's on a mission from God."

Zeke blinked at that, then spoke, "I don't recall mentioning the Angel, Xander. How'd you know?"

It was Xander's turn to blink now, as he replied, "I was joking. Sheesh, doesn't anyone remember the Blue's Brothers?"

Lucien carefully studied the man beside him. Something about him was a bit, off, although he couldn't pin it down. However being an acquaintance of Alexander's, that wasn't so surprising. Over the last few days he had come to expect the most unexpected events around this strange not-quite-childe of his. A truly entertaining individual. He could certainly see why he would have brought Alexander across, even if he himself hadn't done it.

"So, will you be here long, Detective Stone?" LaCroix asked.

Zeke shook his head, "No, at least I hope not. I have twenty eight more fugitives to track down, then I'll finally be free."

"Fugitives?" LaCroix inquired.

Zeke sent a glance to Xander, who nodded, so he answered, "A while ago, one hundred and thirteen of the most vile, despicable, souls ever to exist managed a mass breakout from Hell. I'm supposed to track them down and send them back."

"And sitting in a bar drinking a coke is helping you fulfill my instructions exactly how, Ezekiel?" a new voice enquired from behind LaCroix.

Not much could startle the over two thousand year old vampire. But this voice was one of the few things which actually could. Partly because thre was no accompanying heartbeat or smell or any other sign prior to his speaking of the individual's presence, but mostly because he'd heard it previously, over a thousand years before.

Whirling around he came face to face with a being he had never hoped to encounter again, "Lucifer.", he identified the newcomer.

"Lucien LaCroix. Still managing to avoid my company, even after all this time. I see you've met my reluctant employee."

Cat moved up to stand beside her husband behind the bar as Lucifer continued speaking, "Really, Ezekiel, I thought we'd gone over this enough times. You have no need of sustenance, you are already dead. And the time you spend eating or drinking is time you should be spending tracking down my wayward charges."

"I got one of them today, that should be enough." Zeke demanded.

"Never enough, my dear Ezekiel, never enough. And the one you got today was mostly a fluke, an accident of chance. Granted, it is nice to have Pablo back in my company where he belongs, but the one you are here for this time is Morris Smitz. He should be your sole concern until you have located and returned him. Every second he's out here s another second he's mocking me. And I don't abide by mocking well."

Zeke growled, then shifted back to face the bar, ignoring the devil behind him. "I've spent several hours in the company of one very pissed off Detective Vetter, having her walk me through the crime scene and the evidence they have recovered. "

"Ezekiel, you don't need the evidence to know who you are looking for, I already went far out of my way and told you. All you need to do is look around and find him. And I can assure you that you will not find him sitting on your behind in a vampire bar."

Xander interjected, "Cat and I will help him track down Morris tomorrow. Just give the guy a break."

Lucifer shifted his gaze from Zeke's back to Xander, where he held it for a while before replying, "I've already given him a break, he's here, and no longer in hell, isn't he? All I ask is his unending devotion to the task at hand. It's not that much, is it?"

Xander shook his head, "Look, let him rest a bit. It'll make him fresher when we go at it again tomorrow. If he's tired, he'll get sloppy. And sloppy causes mistakes. And you wouldn't want someone acting as your agent in this situation making mistakes would you?"

"No, Mister Harris, I wouldn't. Very well. I will bid you all adieu. Lucien, I'll be seeing you. And Ezekiel, I expect better performance from you in the future." And with that the devil turned his back and simply vanished.

"I see you continue to have interesting companions, Alexander." LaCroix commented dryly as he arose from the bar and made his way towards his office, "I have much to attend to. It was a pleasure to meet you, Detective." LaCroix said as he practically fled te club, despite moving only at a steady walk.

After finishing up in the club, Cat and Xander walked Zeke out back to where he'd parked the Tucker Solar. Grabbing the umbilical, Cat slid it into an external wall socket, and walked Zeke through a few of the minor housekeeping functions of the small RV, before handing him the manual, and looking ove to her husband and asking "Ready for bed?"

Xander yawned and nodded, so they made plans to meet again at eleven the next morning, and after biding the detective a good night, they headed up to their own place for the rest of the night,

Cat held Xander's hand as they made their way up the outside stairs to the apartment entrance behind and above the Raven.

They made their way inside, and down the short hall to their apartment, where Xander opened the door and led them inside, after which he proceeded to collapse on the couch with a groan.

"Did I really agree to meet with Zeke before noon tomorrow?" he whined.

Cat smiled as she settled on his lap. "Yep"

"Are you hungry? I think I need food before I attempt anything as arduous as sleep." He asked her, shifting her around so he could look into her face.

She shook her head, "Don't usually eat, remember?" and with that she kissed him.

A long time later they broke apart again, Xander gulping for air despite his physiology,

"Cat, honey, I really do need some food. I think I got some cans of Spaghettio's, at least I remember picking them up. Do you know where in the kitchen they may be?"

She gave him a cute little frown as she thought for a moment before replying, "I think they are under the cabinet beside the fridge. Next to the Cat Food."

Xander carefully moved her off his lap and on to the couch beside him before getting up and crossing the room to the small kitchen. It was only a short bit of rummaging later that he had a bowl filled with the little rings in red sauce, meatballs floating here and there amongst them, and placed it in the microwave to heat it up.

Opening the fridge, he peered at its emptiness, and as he closed it he called out to Cat who was frowning slightly as she sat on the couch, "Remind me to get some sodas or something other than orange juice to drink."

Cat climbed to her feet and started stalking towards the kitchen, reminiscent of a lion on the savannah stalking its prey.

The microwave beeped that it was done as Xander finished filling a glass with tapwater, which he set on the counter before turning to pluck the now heated bowl from the oven.

He almost bumped into Cat as he turned to set the dish on the counter next to the glass of water. "ops" he said as he ducked down to avoid colliding with her and spilling his food.

Cat watched him as he rummaged in a few drawers before finding the silverware, a frown reappearing on her face.

"Oh, and do we have any Twinkies left?" he asked as he settled himself on the stool before the counter, and dipped the spoon into the bowl for his first bite of food since lunch with Zeke that afternoon.

Cat's frown turned to a pout as she replied, "No. I think I ate all of them yesterday. I'm sorry."

Xander swallowed the mouthful he had just taken, and washed it down with a gulp of the water before replying, "That's ok. I'll just add them to the list."

Cat stood there watching as Xander wolfed down the food, unsure of exactly what she felt. She wasn't happy, that much was certain. She had wanted to snuggle with her husband, and perhaps later finally consummate their marriage, for as the Devil had reminded her, until they did so, they were little more than simply betrothed.

But Xander seemed to find canned pasta more interesting than her, and this totally ruined her mood.

Finally, with the pout still affixed to her face, she made her way into the bathroom and closed the door behind herself. Turning on the tap she ran the tub full of water, and discarding her clothes, climbed in to take her first real bath in a long time. Being who and what she was, she was always clean unless she deliberately chose to be otherwise, so bathing was not a necessity for her, but on rare occasions she did like to relax in a hot tub of water, despite the cat in her. Her mother always said she probably got that taste from her Father's Roman influence, just like her ability to open portals.

As she settled into the hot water though, she wasn't relaxing. But the warmth of the water around her did allow her to take her mind off the warmth of the tears running silently down her face.

Xander finished his supper, rinsing the bowl and spoon, and placing both of them, as well as the glass into the dish washer for later.

He had heard Cat go into the bathroom and turn on the tub a while ago, so since he was so exhausted, he just stepped into the guest bathroom and took a quick shower before slipping into the bed and going to sleep. Or at least trying to, but the lack of Cat in the bed with him, or even Snowball, her cat form curled up on his stomach made it hard for him to drift off. He eventually managed to drift into a rough sleep, but he didn't really start to rest until much later, when a warm ball of fur curled up on top of him and began to purr. Then he finally murmured something in his sleep and started to relax.

The next morning, Xander was awoken by the alarm blaring on the nightstand by the bed.

Reaching over he slapped it into submissive silence, then hugged Cat tightly before drifting off to sleep again.

The second time around, the alarm didn't survive the slapping quite as well, emitting a final electronic squelch of pain as the case shattered and the circuit board inside fractured when Cat slapped it instead of Xander, who had simply buried his head under a pillow.

"Xander, get up" Cat said softly. "We have to meet Zeke in half an hour."

"Doan wanna get up. 'Ss too early" mutters Xander, rolling off the side of the bed and falling to the floor in his attempt to go back to sleep. "Oof." he said upon thumping onto the floor, to Cat's amused giggles.

"Come on, sleepyhead. Rise and shine." When his response was to wrap the covers, which he had dragged off the bed with himself to the floor around himself again she tried one last effort, "If you get up now we can go get pancakes for breakfast."

Xander muttered, "Wi blbrues?"

Cad giggled and responded, "Yes, with blueberries. If you hurry."

Xander rolled over again, this time disentangling himself from the bedding, and crawled on his hands and knees to the bathroom, muttering "be readyina bit."

Disappearing inside, he kicked the door closed behind himself, leaving a laughing Cat sitting on the uncovered bed.

Xander had evolved to human state by the time he emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later. In his absence, Cat had remade the bed, with newly cleaned sheets and blankets.

Xander made his way clad in his boxers to the large cabinet wardrobe Cat had made to hold all the clothes she had made for him that first day together. Looking inside in a vain hope of finding a clean Hawaiian Shirt, having used the two he had bought already, he gave up and settled for a tan colored polo shirt instead, and a pair of black jeans.

Returning to the bathroom with his selection, along with appropriate socks and new boxers, he got dressed in plenty of time to head down to meet Zeke at his new RV by eleven.

Once the RV was disconnected, they headed first over to the same café where they had met Zeke the day before, then after a quick breakfast, Zeke drove them to the college where Joshua Bennett had been enrolled, and was the well known Tennis Star. "I figure that Morris is likely on campus somewhere, staking out his next target."

"So what's the plan?" Xander asked as they approached the school.

Zeke pulled in to a parking spot and shut off the power. "Well, we could walk around poking people's eyes out at random hoping to get lucky, or maybe you can pull off that radar thing you did with Pablo again and spot him before he makes his next move. The other possibility is to try and lure him in by presenting the optimum target for him, and nab him when he comes for one of us."

Xander looked at Cat, who smiled and shrugged at him, and then he looked back at Zeke. "Well since he seems to be targeting rich young men with beautiful women, all I need to do is look rich, show off Cat, and he should be on me like a fly on a compost heap."

"If he's around. The only way to be sure he'll come after you is to get his attention." Zeke pointed out.

"Well lets do a quick walkabout and see if we get lucky. If we don't, then we'll try and come up with another plan," Xander said, heading out the door.

Cat spoke up, "Uh, Xander?"

Xander stopped on the threshold, "Yeah?"

"If we want to try and make him think you are some rich snob later, perhaps it'd be a good idea to hide your appearance for now. Mine as well." Cat said.

Xander thought about that for a moment, then said, "I suppose I could use a glamour."

He looked over at Cat and blinked, because she was gone. In her place was a tall skinny redhead with prominent freckles on her face. She looked vaguely like she could be a cousin of Willow's. "How do I look?" she asked in a nasally voice, totally unlike the melodious almost musical tones he had come to identify with Cat.

Zeke was simply staring, having also missed her transformation. "Cat?" he asked tentatively, as though her identity could genuinely be in doubt.

The redhead smirked at him, a totally un-Cat like expression, and said, "Name's Pat. Like Patricia."

Xander shook his head, then close his eyes and focused his own efforts on creating a disguise. Thinking back to the people he knew in Sunnydale, he decided that if Cat was going to be a semi-willow, he could go for an Oz like appearance. He pictured a rounder face, more prominent ears, a thinner nose, and short, curly dark red hair, a lighter shade than Cat's, er, Pat's, Locking the image in his mind, he wove the glamour and tied it in to his Quickening, using Alexander's old trick. Just to be safe, he also bound his aura, both the Quickening's and his vampyric, as well as his normal human aura, tying it all as tightly to his core as he could, so he would not appear to radiate any identifiable signature. The combined efforts were a sort of a strain in his mind, and he was sure that if he tried to maintain this for more than an hour or so he would probably end up with a major headache, but the result should prevent him from being a recognizable blip on anyone's radar in any way he could think of, other than scent. And there wasn't anything he knew of that he could do about scent. Not without a lot of extra work.

"How do I look?" he asked a astonished Detective Stone.

Zeke shook his head, and muttered, "If this is what Morris can do, it's no wonder Lucifer doesn't think it'll be easy for me to find him." Looking again at Cat aka Pat he remarked, "You're taller." Pat shrugged and said in her nasally voice, "I am who I see myself as. Right now I am seeing myself as a taller redhead. It's not really me, so it's not all that comfortable. But I can do it as long as I have to."

Zeke looked at Xander, "And you're doing the same thing?"

Xander shook his head. "No, Cat actually changed. Me, it's just an illusion."

Zeke just shook his head again, "With illusions like that, you should be headlining in Vegas."

With that he followed them out the door and onto the campus.

While the stroll across campus was environmentally pleasant, the effort of holding in his aura and maintaining the glamour was starting to take it's toll by around two that afternoon.

"Well, this seems to be a waste" Xander complained, his nerves starting to fray under the growing headache caused by maintaining the spells around him for well over the hour he had expected to be able to maintain.

"At least we know he's not on campus at the moment." Zeke pointed out.

"Or he's moving around and just hasn't crossed into my range. A range which I should point out is dwindling as rapidly as my headache is growing." Xander snapped.

Zeke shook his head and jokingly asked, "You want I should shoot you to stop the pain?"

He stopped walking at Xander's entirely honest reply, "Yes. As soon as we get back to the RV. That's a good idea. Then after I wake up again I need you to take me back by the apartment, then on a quick trip to the mall. I need to see someone there about something personal."

Zeke started following after Xander, who was now making his way straight back to the RV. "Wait, you really want me to shoot you?" he asked.

"Actually, breaking my neck would be both faster and easier, not to mention less messy. But yeah. If I'm dead this headache will go away. It's not like it'll last, you know."

Zeke shook his head as he glanced over at Pat aka Cat, who was holding yet another flyer announcing the party that evening. "You know, I think this may be our best bet, seeing as how Morris wasn't here as far as we could tell." She said as she walked up to them.

Xander took the flyer and looked at it, "Yeah, if we weren't' working tonight."

'Pat' shrugged, "We could always ask LaCroix for the night off."

Xander shook his head, "We've already got the next two nights off, thanks to a deal I made with him last night. I don't think it'd be right to ask for another one as well. I mean, I need to pay him back for the money I borrowed, he's taking it and our rent out of my weekly pay. If I don't work a full week, how am I supposed to pay him back?"

'Pat' shrugged. "We could always ask. He could take the money out of my pay as well, so then it wouldn't be an issue."

Xander shook his head, "That's your money. I borrowed the two thousand, I'll pay it back. It's only a month, after all."

'Pat' interjected, her currently nasal voice grating on Xander's nerves, "Well I'm living there too, so I owe at least half the rent. I'm going to ask him about us taking tonight off. I wasn't the one who asked for tomorrow and the next day off, and all he can do is refuse."

Xander, his headache growing by the moment snapped back, "Fine. Do whatever you want. If he says ok, then we'll go to the party. If he says no, then we'll go to work, and we'll come up with some other way to find this Smitz bastard."

'Pat' scowled at the unaccustomed tone and attitude from Xander, but didn't say anything, simply following him to the RV the rest of the way in silence.

Xander dropped all the spells as soon as he stepped foot inside the RV. The result was perceptible by everyone present, and not just visually. Suddenly Xander seemed to radiate an almost terrifying aura of power, one which flooded the interior of the small vehicle, making Zeke take a step back involuntarily in response. He hadn't felt anything this menacing even on the occasion when he'd pissed Lucifer off by shooting him in his eyes and sending him back to hell. Xander just glared at him and said, "Well?"

Zeke looked back confused, "Well what?"

Xander blew out a sigh of air in exasperation, "Well, break my neck already and let's get moving. This headache isn't really killing me, but I wish it would."

Zeke was unable to move, but Cat, who had also resumed her normal appearance silently crossed the RV and stood behind Xander before reaching up and simply grabbing the sides of his head and lifting with a sharp twist. An audible "Snap" echoed through the RV and Xander slumped in her hands, his body hanging limply from the head she still supported, the neck at an impossibly sharp angle. Silently she laid him on the floor of the RV, straightening out his neck so it looked almost like he was sleeping, other than the utter stillness of his dead form.

Zeke just stared at the small blonde. "You...", he started, "You just...", he tried again, "You just killed him."

Cat looked down at the body on the floor and shrugged, "Yeah, he'll get better, and like he said, the headache will be gone. Let's get going. I want to ask LaCroix about tonight. And if he says yes, then it'll take some time to figure out exactly what we both should wear."

Zeke was still trying to wrap his mind around the casual way this woman, who he thought actually loved his friend had just, killed him. Like it was nothing.

"Come on, Zeke. We don't have to wait here 'till he revives. Besides, in the mood he was in, he'd just yell at us for wasting his time." Cat cajoled, climbing into the passenger seat.

Finally giving in to the pressure, Zeke climbed over the dead body of his friend and powered up the vehicle. Seeing that the batteries had fully recharged while the RV had been parked in the sun that afternoon, he grinned and pulled the vehicle out of it's spot and stated on the way back to the Raven.

Xander had revived by the time Zeke pulled the RV to a stop, unfortunately in the shade he noted wistfully, behind the Raven.

Climbing out, Xander led the way up towards the apartment. Cat stopped along the way and knocked gently on LaCroix's door. While it was still early afternoon, she hoped the elder vampire may already be awake. A muffled sound from within raised her hopes, even as Xander opened the door to their own apartment and disappeared inside, Zeke following silently, and the door left slightly ajar in their wake.

LaCroix opened the door dressed in a silk robe. Perhaps he hadn't been awake yet after all, Cat thought regretfully. "Master LaCroix?" she asked respectfully.

"Yes, My Lady, what can I do for you this afternoon?" he asked, stepping aside and allowing her entry into the dark apartment.

Deciding on being more or less formal, Cat responded, "I come to ask a boon, and apologize for disturbing you at this hour, I had hoped you were already about by now."

LaCroix smiled indulgently at her, "I had some trouble getting to sleep last evening. But what is the favor you would ask of me?"

"I'm aware that Xander has already arranged the next two nights off for us for some reason, but could I also ask for this evening off as well, so we could assist Detective Stone in apprehending his fugitive?"

Secret amusement over something sparkled in LaCroix's eyes as he answered, "Of course you may. Was there ever any doubt?"

Cat shrugged, "Xander seemed to think so. He was worried about the money you had lent him."

LaCroix shrugged, "Pocket change. It is truly of no concern to me, I merely lent it to him because his honor would refuse to accept it as a gift. I had thought the same of the job I had offered him, however my clients seem to disagree. The two of you have caused quite a jump in my business over the past few days. Hopefully your absence for an extended period will allow my clients to settle down. I don't intend to operate a circus or a carnival where customers come to look at my odd employees, no matter how profitable it may be in the short term."

Cat nodded, seeing the logic behind the old vampire's words. "Thank you Master LaCroix."

LaCroix smiled charmingly, "Lucien, please, My Lady."

Cat smiled back, "Then call me Cat, Lucien."

LaCroix smiled again and standing, took her hand, lifting it up and providing a gentle kiss to the back of it, "My Lady Cat it is, then." He said with a smile, the glint of some secret source of amusement shining once more in his eyes as he led her back to the door.

Xander rummaged around in the bedroom, emerging a short while later with a handful of bills in various denominations. "Ok, let's go to the mall." he said, sorting the cash somehow as he lead the way towards the still open door just as Cat came bouncing back in.

Xander quickly shoved the cash roughly in his pocket away from Cat, asking her, "So, what did he say?"

Cat grinned happily, "He said no problem. He was kind of happy to give us three nights off in a row, he's hoping the gawk factor may die down in our absence."

Xander shrugged, "Ok, I can sort of see that I guess. Well, we'll be back in a while, I just have to run an errand."

Zeke continued moving towards the door, not wanting to get caught any more in the middle of whatever Xander was up to than he was already. He was passing through and into the hall beyond as he heard Cat say, "I'll come with you. We need to stop at the store anyhow, remember, we need Twinkies, and other stuff."

"I'll get it. You just wait here. See what you can do about making us look rich and popular for tonight or something. We won't be long, I'd say well be back by four thirty or five at the latest, if not sooner."

Even though he couldn't see her any longer, Zeke could hear the hurt and disappointment in Cat's voice as she said, "But."

"We won't be long. It's something I need to do without you. Kind of personal. We'll be back soon. I promise." Xander interrupted

Zeke was almost to the outside door, but he could still hear perfectly clearly as Cat gave in, her voice almost pouting by itself as she replied, "Fine. I'll be here getting everything ready for tonight.", a hint of a smile seemed to creep back in as she added, "I love you."

As he opened the door to step outside, he could hear Xander's almost automatic sounding 'I love you too" as he pulled the apartment door closed behind him and followed Zeke down the hall.

"It's a shame he doesn't care about you the same way you care about him."

Cat looked over at the devil who had appeared in the living room, facing towards the closed door through which Xander had just departed, and sadly shaking his head.

"What are you talking about, Lucifer?" Cat asked, her heart suddenly leaping up towards her throat.

"Do you really think he loves you, despite what he may say?" the devil asked.

"What do you mean? Are you saying he doesn't love me?" Cat asked.

"Think about it. Think about what an honorable caring and giving young man Alexander is. I really found it painful to have him in my domain all those years. The entire escape may very well never have happened had he never visited in the first place. Granted, the unrest he generally stirred was more a disquiet with the souls more along the lines of Ezekiel's, but still, he was the pointy little stone sliding around in the shoe of hell during his stay. No matter how one tried to dislodge or remove him, he ended up causing pain somewhere else. But consider things from his point of view. Here you are, stuck with him, would he not try and act like he liked it, to make things as pleasant for you as possible, despite the cost to himself?"

Cat looked back at the devil, "You're lying" she said flatly.

Lucifer sadly shook his head, "No, my dear, despite my title as 'the father of lies', I never tell a lie, that'd be too, easy. Check with anyone. I only ever speak the truth."

"The truth as you want people to see it." She replied, knowing better than to trust anything Lucifer told her.

"The truth is the truth, no matter who looks at it. He won't really touch you, you know." Lucifer added. "That alone should tell you all you need to know about his true feelings. No matter what you do, he won't take that last step. He is too honorable to sleep with a woman he doesn't have feelings for."

Cat shook her head, "He has feelings for me, he told me so several times. He's shown me in many little ways."

"Of course he has. How could he do any less. But still, as I said, he won't take that last step. I dare say there is nothing you could do to get him to make love to you tonight, short of a spell or drugging him. But believe what you wish. It matters not to me." With that Lucifer turned around and strode away, vanishing on his way to the door through which her husband, no her affianced had departed a short time before, leaving her here alone.

As she looked at the empty room and thought about Lucifer's words, she tried not to cry.

Zeke turned on the power in the RV and placed it into gear, turning to Xander as he started down the alley he asked, "So what is this secret mission to the mall we are going on that requires a lot of cash and the absence of Cat?"

Xander looked up from where he was once more sorting the bills in his hand, and replied, "Shopping."

Zeke frowned, "That's a lot of money." He glanced at the alley then back at the cash and asked, "Shopping for what?"

Zeke was able to catch Xander's lopsided grin out of the corner of his eye as he replied "A ring."

Zeke tried again, "A ring for what?"

"A ring for Cat. I figure if she's going to be my wife, I want to do it right. I've already asked LaCroix, and he's going to set everything up for the ceremony tomorrow evening at the Raven. Oh, and that reminds me, since you're around and all, would you mind being my best man?"

The question, which came just as he was turning the RV out of the alley and into the street proper surprised Zeke so much he almost crashed the RV into the row of cars parked on the far side of the street.


	15. Knight Errant Part 15 – Bait and Switch

Chapter 15 – "Bait and Switch"

Xander had been gone for over a half an hour before Cat had regained her composure and recovered from the emotional turmoil caused by the devil's visit.

Her distress had been replaced with confidence. She would make Xander proud of her, and at the same time blow his socks off, metaphorically speaking, for while at the right moment flying clothes might be a nice mental image, flying socks were just, stinky.

But she would make tonight perfect. They would track down and catch Smitz, then they would come back here, and Xander and her would make wonderful, perfect, romantic love, like in all the stories.

And she'd prove the devil was wrong. Xander loved her. She knew it. It was like they were soul mates, destined to be together. That was why he was in Hell, he had been there for twenty agonizing years, just so he could rescue her. It was the only thing that made sense, for how else could such a wonderful, kind, strong, and loving man be there at just the right time to kill Grumfistan, moments before he could sacrifice her just to gain a portion of her power as his own.

Cat wasn't young, she had been around longer than Christianity. But most of that time she had been with her Mother, or if not with Mom, then at least one if not both of her brothers were around. She had admittedly led a sheltered life, but she had read. Especially in the last fifty years or so. She knew what a man and a woman were supposed to do together, even if she had no personal experience. And of all the males she had ever met, only Xander had made her want to experience such things. He had to be for her. It was just so right. And that was even before her Mom had declared them married.

She was still a bit surprised Uncle Janus had given his blessing. He had always seemed almost as protective of her as her eldest brother, although in a less tear-the-eyes-out-of-the-head-of-any-male-who-dares-to-look-upon-his-sister kind of way. She had finally decided it was because Janus had already chosen Xander as his champion, long before he had rescued her from certain death. In a way it was also fitting that her Uncle's champion was the one to save her from hell itself. And that was just so much like Xander.

And that was the only problem. Lucifer was right when he said that Xander would sacrifice his own happiness if he thought it was the only way to make her happy. His tendency to put himself last most of the time without even thinking about it was a part of what made him a genuine Champion. It was no wonder Lucifer hated him so much.

But if Janus's blessing wasn't enough to prove his worth, there was Kusanagi. She was a legendary blade, much like the fabled Excalibur. And she was very selective about her bearers. If she did not judge someone worthy, she would leave them, it was easy, they would just set her down somewhere and simply forget about her until it was too late to go back and find her. If they were evil, simply touching her would be enough to burn them, and she could not be moved by any known force when she didn't want to.

From what Cat understood, Xander had gotten Kusanagi from a slain opponent not too long after his arrival in Hell. And he had carried her since then. Even if his long tenure as her bearer in Hell was simply due to the lack of other acceptable candidates, he had since born her to three other worlds, and through them all had faithfully stayed with Xander. Even refusing to harm him at the hand of that cowardly Immortal.

Cat wished she could communicate with Kusanagi. From what she understood of the blade, it could see into a person's heart, and into their soul. It could instantly weigh them and pass judgment. This is why it is said that Kusanagi can not be used against the innocent, for she will simply refuse to harm them, should she find them so. Cat was sure that Kusanagi knew that Xander loved her, no matter what Lucifer said.

Well, if she was going to impress Xander tonight, she would need to go all out. But he had had a point that first day about simply making whatever she wanted. Granted, in some cases, such as with the RV she had made for Zeke, whatever harm may have been caused was offset by the good, Zeke needed transportation and a place to live, and the RV provided both, with little cost for maintenance, if he was careful. And since the Tucker Auto Corp in this world never made it past it's first year, she certainly wasn't hurting them or their nonexistent employees by using one of their designs here.

With that thought in mind, she started trying to figure out what kind of car Xander should have to drive to the party. Showing up in the RV wouldn't work, it was an RV, and a rich playboy type wouldn't cruise around in an electric anything, let alone an RV.

No, he needed a flashy car. What was the flashiest car that she'd ever seen which didn't exist here? Something sleek, fast, powerful. Something impressive.

Also, she'd need clothes. Clothes for him, and for her. Something, not flashy, but tasteful. And again, not from this world, that way it wouldn't be stealing from someone's potential earnings.

This was going to be a challenge. She needed to get to work if she was going to have everything ready by the time Xander got back from his mysterious trip to the mall.

The first thing Xander noticed when he and Zeke returned from their trip to the mall, and then to the grocery store on the way back, was the car in the alley.

It was long, grey, and VERY expensive looking.

While the vehicle had a familiar look to it, for the life of him he couldn't place it. Something told him it was Cat's work. Whoever's work it was, Xander had never seen a car before he wanted to drive as much as this one. Perhaps it was the wrap-around grill, stretching from just before the driver's door the length of the LONG hood around the front to end just ahead of the passenger's door. Perhaps it was the four silver corrugated pipes coming out from each side through that grill which disappeared into the flared wheel-wells. Maybe somehow the strange flat front deck which supported the front bumper in front of the car, flared out from the actual hood by several inches contributed to the look somehow. Maybe it was none of these things, but rather the combination of them all together at once which did it, somehow even the split glass which made up the windshield somehow managed to scream both class and speed at the same time. The silver metal flake paintjob was so perfect it was like looking into a dusty mirror, only with the dust on the inside. Xander really hoped he'd get a chance to drive this car.

Turning away, he reaffirmed his grip on the grocery bag, and led a drooling Zeke up the back stairs to the apartments, glancing back himself from time to time to take in the classy convertible two-seater from different angles as he climbed the steps.

Xander opened the door to the apartment and called out in his best "Ricky Ricardo" impersonation, "Honey, I'm home. An' you've got some 'splaining to do."

All humor left his mind a few moments later when Cat emerged from the bedroom. All thought left his mind as well. Probably because all the blood left his head in a mad rush to be elsewhere in his anatomy.

Cat was dressed in a black gown. Everything could be summed up in those six words. Of course, to do so would be like saying that the car he had just seen outside was nice, or that Leonardo da Vinci was smart.

Elegant was the word which had been developed in the English language specifically to describe this one dress. Drool worthy was a phrase which would automatically be applied to Cat in this dress. The midnight black material seemed to sparkle like a night time sky as the light in the room refracted with pinpoints of various brilliant colors off seemingly random threads from time to time a she almost seemed to float into the room, so graceful and flowing were her movements as she swayed her hips seductively during her approach.

The material fell to her ankles, which were wrapped with the straps of some sort of black high-heeled shoes which lifted her 4'11 frame up to about 5'5. It had a long slit on each side which facilitated the movement of her long legs, providing tantalizing glimpses of their flesh as they were revealed through the gap, only to be covered again as her motion continued. The cut of the dress seemed to accentuate the flare of her hips and the dip of her tiny little waist, before reaching up to practically caress the cleavage of her breasts as it both concealed and displayed them.

She had her blonde hair tied back from her face, but falling down her back and held in place with a silver, or perhaps white gold comb of some sort, which also sparkled with little embedded diamonds. Combined with the necklace which sparkled and needlessly drew the eyes back to her cleavage, the entire effect was stunning. She would have looked perfect walking down a red carpet somewhere in Hollywood for the Academy Awards. Or sitting in the passenger seat of that fantastic car outside.

Zeke, who had frozen just inside the door softly murmured to him, "Best man marries the bride if something happens to the groom, right?"

Xander blinked, his brain not yet back online enough to coherently parse conversation. He simply grunted in the affirmative.

"Damn, much as I like you, right now I'm hoping for a comet or a meteor or something to take you out of the picture."

Cat finally came to a stop before the mesmerized Xander, and slowly twirled around, demonstrating that the view from the rear, with her shining hair looking almost white against the black of the dress, it's length somehow accentuating the swell of her butt just below it, looked almost as good as the view from the front. "You like?" she asked softly in her musical voice, her smile glowing as she bestowed it on Xander.

"Maybe lighting. A lot of lightning. Or aliens. Alien abductions are always a nice option these days, I hear." Zeke continued, not that Xander was able to process the words any more. His mental shutdown was complete, and the only thing he could focus on was his Cat.

When he failed to respond, Cat finally reached out and gently took Xander's hand. "Come on, I have to get you ready as well. Did you see the car? Do you like it?" she asked as she dragged the semi-comatose man towards the bedroom.

Zeke stepped the rest of the way into the apartment and closed the door behind him, before settling down on the couch with a sigh. Damn that was a nice dress. And with that girl inside it, Xander had all the luck.

It was several minutes later that the bedroom door opened once more to disgorge a transformed Xander.

Where before he had looked more or less normal, the clothes he was now wearing almost seemed to scream money.

It wasn't the dark, custom tailored slacks, nor was it the custom casual dress shoes gleaming from beneath the pants. The shirt he was wearing was silk, and perfectly tailored, but it only helped to contribute to the image of casual wealth. The gleaming custom Rolex on his wrist seemed to contribute more than a bit to the over all image, but really there was no one thing Zeke could point to which said, "Money? How gauche."

Xander looked like the kind of man who tipped with hundreds for standard service, but kept thousands on hand to reward those who caught his eye. And considered it casual spending money.

All in all, he certainly looked like he belonged behind the wheel of the car out in the alley. And Cat was now a perfect fit as she stood glued to his arm, a shining couple basking in their wealth and beauty. Morris wouldn't be able to resist, he'd bet his badge on it.

Fortunately, the long term exposure to Cat while she had been getting him ready seemed to have allowed Xander to build up some level of immunity to her appearance, As he moved around the apartment with a numbed coherency he had completely lacked at first, but still a bit short of his normal bantering personality.

It was only as Xander passed into the kitchen to put the forgotten groceries away that Zeke noticed Xander was even wearing his sword as a part of his ensemble. And somehow it fitted, looking as expensive and custom as the watch. It was then that he realized it, it wasn't the watch, the shoes, the pants, the shirt, or the jacket that 'did' it for Xander's look, it was the blade. Somehow, without even being noticeable, it was taking all those elements, and weaving them together into a Look. One which Zeke thought may be as devastating to members of the female persuasion as Cat's was to males.

As soon as the groceries were away, Zeke led them out of the apartment and down to the alley, so they could head off to the Party, Xander and Cat in the sports car, and Zeke following in the RV, where he would act as stake-out and only move in once Smitz was identified.

Xander closed the apartment door behind himself as he trailed Cat out and into the hall.

And left behind, totally forgotten in the right hand pocket of the jacket Xander had been wearing earlier, laid the engagement ring Xander had meant to present her upon his return home.

Xander was in heaven. He was sure he could tell, because he'd been on several earths, and he'd spent plenty of time in Hell, so he had a basis for comparison. What he was feeling now was as far above the scale for anything he had felt before on earth, as being in hell had been below it. So this had to be heaven. Apparently heaven for him was to be at the wheel of a ridiculously overpowered and classy looking sports car, with unarguably the most beautiful and sexy woman in the world seated next him smiling at his simple enjoyment of the moment.

As though to assure herself of his ecstasy, as though the expression on his face wouldn't be enough, she asked him, "Happy?"

"Well, let's see. I'm sitting in the world's coolest car, next to the world's most beautiful woman, on my way to a party where I actually hope a psychotic killer who actually escaped from hell will try and kill me. And I've never felt better. Yeah, you could say I'm happy."

Cat grinned enthusiastically, then said, "I'm glad I could please you Xander."

"Cat, Have I told you I love you yet today?" Xander asked.

Cat's smile faded a bit as she thought back to Lucifer's words a few hours earlier, "No." she said softly.

"Well I do. I love you Cat." Xander said. "And I love this car. I'm going to hate it when it's gone. But at least I get to keep the real prize"

Cat was a bit confused, "What the watch? The jacket?"

Xander laughed out loud again, "No. You."

Cat's smile returned as she leaned back and let her hair stream behind her in the wind, luxuriating in the feeling of being with such a happy Xander. She had done good. Tonight he would be hers. She could hardly wait for them to catch the Smitz idiot, and get back to the apartment. This was going to be her night. She just knew it.

The party at was just starting to pickup speed when the sound of a deep rumbling engine seemed to vibrate the building from out side on the street.

Those near windows, or on the front porch looked towards the source of the sound.

A silver-grey sports car was making its way up the street, a young looking brunette guy behind the wheel, and a gorgeous blonde riding along next to him, laughing at something.

More than one person present felt their inner motor head drool at the simple sight of the classy looking sports car as it cruised past the house, apparently looking for a parking spot.

And more amazingly, seemed to find one, as the blonde gestured to a space between two already parked cars, a space no other drivers had seemed to notice, or considered large enough, but the driver casually pointed the nose of his car into the area, and swung the rear in right behind it, coming to a tire-chirping stop with about a foot to spare between both the front and the back of his car, and the other vehicles which had been there already.

The girl waited while the guy climbed out and made his way around the back of the car to open the door for her.

Those guys who weren't already drooling over the car started drooling as soon as they saw the girl. And the few guys present who weren't interested in even a girl like this one were already drooling over her companion, along with several of the women present, most of whom were so busy looking at the guy to even start to feel jealous over the attention being directed at the blond on his arm. Not that it mattered, everyone could plainly see that they were so much in love with one another that no one else mattered to the couple.

No one challenged them as they moved inside the Frat House, gathering drinks along the way, and heading almost straight for the dance floor.

People just automatically moved out of their way as they took the floor, dancing with a fluidity and grace professionals would have envied. To watch the pair as they danced was to watch a living poem, as though the spirit of the music itself had manifested as a painfully perfect couple and started to dance.

Cat was lost in the emotional high of dancing in Xander's arms. The music almost didn't matter. Nothing mattered, other than Xander and her. And the fact that they were together, like they were meant to be. And she was happy. Happier than at any time she could remember, and she could remember a lot of time.

She smiled up at her husband and wondered how she could be so lucky to be in his arms.

Xander was happy. While a small part of his mind was on the alert for that certain tingle which would register the presence of an embodied soul like Zeke, or in this case Morris Smitz, most of him was just reveling in the experience of dancing with Cat.

Xander was not a dancer by any means. Previous descriptions of his dancing abilities had contained the words seizure, fit, and arrhythmic contortions. But tonight was different. Tonight, with the goddess in all senses of the word which was Cat in his arms, he could not make a bad move. Every action seemed scripted, choreographed by the greatest dance director ever to have lived, as their masterpiece. But none of it mattered. All that mattered was that he was with Cat. And he was happy. Happier than he had ever even dreamed of being. And Xander had had some pretty impressive dreams.

Morris Smitz didn't have much hope for the party.

He had been in this boring city now for over a month. He had only found a single subject worthy of the art he called justice.

Oh, long ago it had been simple rage. Rage at the bitches who were too good for him, who considered him so far below their social level, and so unattractive as to be unworthy of any sort of consideration. Bitches who had the audacity to laugh at him when he finally worked up the nerve to approach them. Bitches who had their slavering moronic boyfriends beat the crap out of him for merely talking to them.

But he had shown them. And he had learned that he reveled in it. He reveled in the power over them he had possessed. But at the time he had really known nothing of power.

It had taken them four years. Four years before they found the Smithton Slasher, the Perdue Pervert, or the Oregon Killer, as the various papers had named him. Not that even in the end they ever realized he was the one they were looking for. No, he was caught in Texas, and murdered by a mob, not even 'brought to justice' as so many authorities had claimed would happen to him once they identified him.

But that had not been the end of him as he had expected at the time.

Morris had never been a religious man. Raised in a Jewish ghetto, he had grown to like the taste of pork. Although in retrospect he had to admit a part of the attraction was that it was something he had been forbidden as a child.

But after his death, he learned he had been wrong in at least some aspects of his world view. There was a soul. Apparently there also was a heaven, but he certainly wasn't in it.

His companions called it Hell, and who was he to refute them. Of all the souls he encountered there, all possessed more than their fair share of evil. But the souls were not really the worst part of being in Hell. Nor was the worst part the torment dished out almost at random by the inhuman beasts which enforced their will on the lesser beings such as himself which surrounded them. The worst part wasn't the environment, where the temperature was either swelteringly hot, or bone numbingly cold. The worst part of it was not the constant hunger, or the quality of what could occasionally be obtained which passed for food, often pieces of some other being which had been killed then torn apart.

No, what was the worst was that for fifty years he had been unable to practice his justice. For fifty years he had to blindly accept whatever torment was handed to him. For fifty years he was unable to fight back.

Oh, the time was not wasted. No, far from that.

He had only been in hell a short time when he heard about some of the "tricks" the older inhabitants had learned. It was because of these that they were able to avoid taking quite as much torture as the more recent arrivals.

Not all the tricks were the same. Some could throw fire, or electricity from their hands. Others could alter their size, or their density, becoming like smoke. One could apparently become invisible. And there was one older inhabitant, one whom Morris had inadvertently befriended, who could alter his body to look like any of the other prisoners. Or even the guards, although he was careful not to let them know that.

And over the years, Morris's friend had taught him his trick. And Morris had studied it carefully, planning on one day replacing one of the guards, something Victor would never dare do, but Morris figured if he could become a guard, he could leave. And once away from this place, he could once more start dispensing his own version of Justice. Perhaps on the 'other' guards.

And then he got out.

He didn't make his personal jailbreak as he had been planning, using Victor's trick to replace a guard. Instead he lucked out and joined in a mass-escape. And he made it back to earth. Only he found he wasn't quite, human, any more. No, he was better.

Nothing on earth could hurt him for one thing, other than some of the other prisoners he had escaped with.

Another interesting facet of is new existence was that every morning he awoke with the same clothes and possessions he had held when he met his end at the hands of the mob in Texas.

But the biggest difference was that he could still use Victor's trick. He could now appear to be anyone he wanted to be.

And best of all, he could once more start dispensing Justice, in the name of all those who were overlooked, he could wreck Justice upon all the Rich, and the so called Beautiful or Popular people. And no one could possibly stop him. He was stronger than them, he was faster than them, unlike them he was indestructible, and best of all, he could become any one of them whom he chose. Old, young, male, or even female, he could become someone they would never suspect, lure them into a situation where they were vulnerable and never even realized it, until it was too late, until it was time for Justice to be served. And Morris Smitz enjoyed serving up Justice in the most creative ways he could. After all, they all deserved it.

Most recently he had "Served" justice upon that Tennis asshole Joshua Bennett. It had been so sweet. He had found that Joshua had a "thing" for this bleached blond bimbo named Stacy. So, he had gone to Stacy's house one night last week, and had snuck into her bedroom. He had tied her to her bed, and poured a whole bottle of bleach into her mouth until she drowned.

Next, he had taken her place, and that evening had come on to the arrogant bastard Joshua, who thought he deserved any woman he wanted. He had teased Joshua, even going so far as to get him off, then had challenged him to a game of 'nude tennis'.

The idiot had agreed. So they headed out to his private tennis court at shortly after midnight, and irony of ironies, Morris had been able to serve up Justice starting with a serve. He had served that first ball with so much force it banged Joshua in his vacuous head, knocking him unconscious to the ground. Reverting to his natural form, Morris had then broken the tops off of the rackets they were using to play, and had used the bent metal pieces to essentially staple Joshua to the ground, with his buttocks in the air.

Then, Morris had started to shove the fuzzy green tennis balls up the stupid Joshua's butt, one at a time. Joshua had woken up as he was inserting the first one. He had screamed so wonderfully as Morris had introduced the second, then the third, the fourth, the fifth. He waited a bit between each ball, after all, Justice can't be rushed, can it? By the tenth ball, the screaming had stopped. But Morris hadn't. There had been twenty four balls which he could find that night, and he put them all where they belonged, one at a time.

By the time dawn broke, Morris had long since finished and left, Justice served.

Since then he had been looking for someone else worthy of his attention, his, special treatment. But he was beginning to think that Toronto just didn't have what he wanted anymore. He had decided to go to this one last party, to give it one last try before heading back south to the US again, but he didn't have much hope.

Not until he saw the couple dancing, at least. Finally he had found a PAIR who were both deserving of Justice. And Justice would be served.

Xander was lost in dancing with Cat.

Cat was equally lost in her dancing with Xander. In many ways this was a first for her. She had never really been allowed to go on what one would call a "Date" before, never had been allowed anywhere without someone along to keep an eye out for her. She had let an extremely protected existence up until her kidnapping. Which had happened precisely because she had rebelled against the constant supervision.

Her world, no her universe was centered around one thing at the moment, even the music to which they were moving was almost non-existent as far as she was concerned. For her all that was real was being in Xander's arms. Which was why she noticed him stiffening up even before he was aware he had done so.

She reluctantly stepped back a bit and looked up at him, "What's wrong?" she asked softly, still dancing, but not as completely enthralled as she had been mere moments before.

Xander looked saddened and puzzled, then his expression cleared and he replied equally softly, "Wow. I hadn't even noticed. We've got company."

Cat looked at the crowd of other dancers around them, those few in the room who didn't seem to be almost exclusively watching Cat and Xander dance. "I'd kinda noticed, but they've been here all along. Didn't you know?"

Xander flashed her a lopsided grin and shook his head before pulling her tightly into his arms once again and whispering into her hair, "Not them, I think Morris is here. Either that or Zeke's followed us inside for some reason."

Cat felt her heart jump as she recalled the real reason they were here. They were trying to act as bait so they could find Smitz. And from what Xander was telling her, they had succeeded. Which meant their 'date' was almost over. But then she remembered her other plans for later, and she smiled again, Because while the party may be over for her, the real fun had yet to begin. All they had to do was get rid of Smits for good, and get back home.

Morris watched the couple dance, ignoring all those they obviously considered their lesser around them. What they were doing here he wasn't sure, while this had been intended as a relatively swank party, these two were almost as over dressed for it as would a hippie in a tie-dyed shirt and blue jeans have been under dressed. Yet somehow they did seem to fit. It was there presence which seemed to give the party it's class, as though had they deigned not to show, it would have somehow been a flop due simply to their absence. They certainly seemed to be garnering the bulk of the attendees attention.

He was wondering just what form his Justice upon the couple would take. It would have to be original. Something they could experience, together, since they seemed to be so into one another. He didn't see any rings on their fingers, so he didn't think they were married yet. Perhaps he could help them tie the knot, using their intestines as the rope. That might be sweet.

Xander wasn't sure what to do now that they had Morris's attention. He realized there was a major flaw in their plans. Zeke couldn't just come barging in and shoot Morris in front of a party full of witnesses; while Xander was pretty sure he could manage to get five, or even possibly as many as fifteen people at a time to forget something if he really pushed it, there was no way he could reach out his influence and mentally control the hundred of young men and women in this building at present. So a direct confrontation was out of the question.

Unfortunately, he was at a true loss. He certainly couldn't go out and get back in the car and drive back to the Raven. Well, he could, but the likelihood was that if Morris followed them back he would know something was up, unless they went in through the front door, pretending to be regular customers.

Likewise, just driving off to some nice remote location probably wouldn't work either without the possibility of scaring him off.

Xander felt like a real idiot. He darn well knew better then to get into a situation like this without a real action and exit plan in place.

He decided to just dance with Cat for a while longer. If he was lucky, he'd think of something. If now, well at least he got to dance some more with Cat.

Morris watched as the couple danced. And the longer he watched, the more his need for Justice grew. Whatever it took, he would see that these two got the end they so deserved. Tying their intestines together wasn't good enough. No, he needed to come up with something even better. Perhaps when he followed them home there would be something there to, inspire, him. Keeping that in mind, he headed towards the front of the building. If he was to follow them without their catching on, he'd need to be in place before they were ready to leave. He should go get the bike now and wait for them outside.

He'd known that coming to this party before heading back to the US was a good idea. It was nice that his high hopes for a proper finale were so well fulfilled by this party he had had such high hopes for.

Xander was momentarily worried when he felt the presence of the embodied soul depart. "He left" he murmured to Cat, who opened her eyes and looked up at him with a slight bit of concern on her face.

"You think he figured out something was wrong?" she asked, hugging herself to him as they slow danced.

"I hope not. He may have just headed out to wait for us outside. Do you have any idea where we can lead him, that won't tip him off?"

Cat shook her head, "I hadn't thought about it. Maybe Zeke has an idea. We should call him on the radio and see what he thinks."

"Let's finish this dance first. Then we'll head outside, hopefully pick up Morris again, and call Zeke when we get to the car." Xander offered.

"Ok", cat answered, hugging herself to him and closing her eyes once more to enjoy their last dance of the evening.

Three or four songs later, (They never noticed.) when the tempo of the music finally changed, Xander led Cat back through the building and out the front door.

As they stepped out onto the front porch, Xander felt Morris on the edge of his mind, wherever he was he was just barely within Xander's "radar" range. But within range he was, and that was all that mattered. He squeezed Cat's hand a bit, whispering "He's Baaak" and led her out the walk and over to the car.

Morris sat astride his Ninja and watched as the couple finally left the party. He almost laughed as they walked right up to the car he had spotted as soon as he had stepped outside, the one which had been encircled by a worshipful congregation of gear heads. A quick walk past the vehicle and something told him it probably belonged to the two inside dancing as though they owned not only the place, but the world in which it existed. This was exactly the kind of flashy car they would drive, the "Screw you, I am better than anyone" attitude almost radiating off it like heat shimmers off asphalt on a hot summer day.

He shook his head as he hit the starter for the bike, getting ready to follow the pair home. After all, he had Justice to dispense. And if any pair ever deserved to feel the cruel hand of Justice, it was these two.

Xander pulled the small radio Cat had zapped up for him and Zeke out of his pocket. "Zeke, you there?" he called softly, slipping the ear bud in place so he'd be able to hear over the wind as he drove.

"Been here for hours, Xander. What happened, he didn't show?" the voice came back almost painfully loud in his right ear.

"No, he showed. I think he's planning on following us, which is good except for one thing." Xander said as he fired up the car to an appreciative murmur from the onlookers.

"What's that?" Zeke's voice asked him.

"Well, I expect he's planning on following us home to our chalet, and doing us in there in his normal creative fashion. Well, I don't know if you noticed it or not, but as nice as our little place above the Raven is, a chalet or mansion it is not. We lead him back there, and he's going to know something's up and will probably bolt. But like an idiot I walked into this without a real plan on what to do once we'd found him."

"Um. Send him back where he belongs. I thought that was the plan." Zeke's voice came back.

"Yeah, now how about a way to do so without causing a scene by shooting out some guy's eyes, then watching as he vanishes into a swirling mist. I don't think we could play it off as some sort of street magic or anything like that. We need to get him somewhere isolated, preferably without tipping him off that we know he's there." Xander explained.

Cat suddenly spoke up from her place beside him as Xander put the car in gear and extracted it from the relatively tight parking spot it had been in. "What if we do let him know we know he's there?"

Xander turned to look at her, hitting the mike button on his radio, "Hold one Zeke, Cat may have an idea." Releasing the mike, he pulled out onto the street, noting the motorcycle which pulled away from the house at a discrete distance and started following them.

Cat continued a bit louder over the wind, "What if we let him think we spotted him following us, and we try to loose him, but actually don't. We can lead him to someplace isolated and then crash the car."

Xander stomped the brakes in the middle of the fortunately empty street, as he pulled the earpiece out of his ear and stared incredulously at Cat, "You want me to crash this car?"

Cat just shrugged, "It's the last thing anyone would suspect. We have Zeke there already, and when Smitz comes to investigate, bang, it's all over."

Xander stepped back onto the gas, the bike having closed to within a close enough distance that Xander could clearly feel Morris's presence, and asked, "Shouldn't that be 'bang bang'?"

Zeke yelled back into Xander's left ear, and Cat's right "Crash the car!" as he heard Cat's plan after she had described it on the extra radio she had just zapped up for herself as Xander led Morris away from the college and towards the wealthiest and most exclusive neighborhood in Toronto.

"If you head there first, then we act like we just noticed him following us and start panic, then take off to try to lose him, he should believe it. It'd be like smacking a bull in the nose in the ring. He'd be so busy chasing he won't worry that we are driving away from town. Once we get to where you are set up, we run the car off the roar like we lost control, and then he'll come right out after us." Cat expanded on her plan.

"At which point I put a pair of shots in his eyes, and send him back to where he belongs. I like that plan." Zeke replied Ok, when you get ready to bolt, head out of town on Oh, say..." Zeke trailed off, apparently looking at a map, "Gardiner express way, I remember coming in through a huge park, nothing but trees and grass and dirt on both sides of the road for a mile or so. So head south 'till you get to Gardiner, then make a right and go 'till you get to Lakeshore, make a left there towards the water, and take that road, it looks like it goes into something called Sunnyside Park. Once I get there, I'll describe where to 'crash' the car. Got it?"

Xander agreed and continued making his way east, away from his true destination.

Morris kept a ways back as the car made its way north and east, probably towards the upper-class homes situated along the Wet Don River.

Even as he started running new scenarios of what exactly he would do to the pair once he traced them to their home, he noticed the car before him give a little swerve in the road. The blonde seemed to turn around and stare back at him, before turning back to the driver.

Suddenly the car slowed and made an abrupt right hand turn onto a new street.

Morris followed, wondering how much the idiots had had to drink at the party.

They made a second right at the very next corner, so they were heading back south now.

Morris of course followed, becoming confused. Had they missed their turn or gotten lost somehow? Suddenly the car in front of him started to pick up speed.

Morris accelerated behind it, closing the distance a bit as the car made an abrupt turn onto Millwood, tires screaching as the car momentarily lost traction, its speed a bit above the legal limit.

Morris followed, closing the distance some more, although it seemed that the closer he got the faster the car went. It was then that he realized the idiots had spotted him somehow and were trying to get away. Oh, this would be fun.

Xander downshifted as he eased the Cord around the corner and onto the expressway. He'd have to be more cautious now, so as not to either loose the motorcycle or attract official attention. Zeke had just radioed him as to where to 'crash' the car. He hated this plan. He loved this car. After all, Cat had made it for him. But it was also her plan, so he went along. Besides, he certainly didn't have a better one.

Swerving through traffic, coming nowhere near using the power or performance the vehicle was capable of, he pretended to be a spoiled rich kid trying to run away from the scary man on the motor bike behind him.

Cat watched as her Xander maneuvered the car through the traffic, somehow looking at the same time like he was barely in control of the vehicle, while maintaining full control as well as awareness of his situation at all times.

Once, as they passed a police car, Xander was barely moving with the flow of traffic, but as soon as the officer was blocked by a truck, he hit the gas and a gentle surge of power pressed her momentarily back in her seat, an application of the brakes a few moments later puling her forward again, and the movement of the car into the lane in front of the truck, which still obscured the view of the police car pulling her to the side at the same time.

It seemed like no time had passed at all when Xander maneuvered the car off the expressway and onto Lakeshore drive, a small waterfront road which actually wound its way through several parks before rejoining the expressway just before the bridge over the Humber river.

It was in the third, or perhaps fourth park, Sunnyside, that Zeke had set up his ambush. They were to look for a small road just past Parkside Drive, and just after it cross the median and once on the wrong side of the road, as soon as they passed the small side road, there would be a tree, and they were to crash into the bushes just past the tree.

Zeke assured them that there was a dip in the ground there, his RV was parked on the side road, out of site, and if they went through the bushes where he described, they should drop down the depression and be invisible from the road.

It sounded like a good plan. Cat wondered what would go wrong.

Xander winced as he went over the exact details of the plan which Zeke had just worked out. He was to crash over a grass median and then through some bushes, missing the tree, hopefully, and fall into a depression. He felt sad for his beautiful car. He wondered if he could have Cat take him wherever it had come from so he could get the parts to fix it.

Xander wasn't happy with the excessive level of details in the last part of this stupid plan, there was too much which could go wrong. Xander wondered exactly what it was that would but the burr in the saddle this time.

Zeke stood behind the tree waiting for Xander and Cat to make their appearance according to the instructions he had given them. So far all he could hear was the wind in the branches of the tree above him, and the rush of relatively distant cars on the expressway. Since his arrival the two parallel roads which made up Lake Shore Blvd had been entirely empty. He hoped it stayed that way. All they needed was traffic to show up while Xander was busy crashing that incredible car of his.

He wasn't really happy with this plan, it was too detailed, Xander could hit the tree, another car could be on the road and either hit him, or end up crashing as well, or almost as bad stop to render assistance.

There were any number of other things which could go wonky at this point. Zeke settled back and listened to the wind, hoping to hear Xander's approach, and wondering just exactly what it was in the plan which would go wrong.

Morris closed further on the expensive car being driven by the panicked idiot before him. He was laughing into the wind as the fool roared his car at a truly unsafe speed in the dark of the abandoned parks. Even though he had yet to touch the pair, he could tell, already, this was Justice. And he loved it.

Xander had just flashed past Parkside, doing a good 200kph according to the speedometer. Zeke's voice shouted from the radio in his left ear, "Slowdown, damnit, I see you, but you're going too fast, you'll miss your..."

Seeing the access road, and what he assumed was the tree beyond it, Xander suddenly cut towards the median, bouncing up over the curb and across the slight hillock of grass, the Cord shooting out a shower of sparks as it landed, bottoming out, on the opposing side of the road, then leaping back into the air, and OVER the bushes, next to the tree.

"...turn!" Zeke was still yelling into the radio as the Cord flew by, several feet to his left, and just as high in the air.

Morris watched as the driver finally lost it, veering off to the left and onto the median, which he flew over, before crashing back down in a great shower of sparks on the far side of the road, before bouncing back up as the suspension recoiled, and still moving forward at a considerable pace, vanished over the bushes at the side of the road.

He'd started to brake as soon as the pretty-boy started to lose control of his car. Still, he was moving at a pretty good clip himself as he also shot up the embankment between the two parts of the road, fast enough to become briefly air born as a result of the earthen hump, but nowhere near fast enough to lose control as the other driver had done, and his bike touched down, still under his control on the other side of the road, and unlike the car did not leap back up into the air with enough force to clear the oncoming bushes.

Instead he crashed through them, which would have been perfectly fine but for a single branch. A two inch fork of wood sitting four feet off the ground, and facing towards the road. A two inch fork which somehow found the only two spots on his being which would be vulnerable to them.

Morris Smitz screamed blindly as his matrix broke own into a swirling mist of light, the bike continuing unoccupied along it's path through the bushes, and into the back of the fully crashed Cord. Where it promptly exploded, answering everyone's questions of what would go wrong. Everyone's other than Morris's, who would have a lot of time to wonder about that now, seeing as how Justice was finally served, on him.

Zeke watched as the Cord slammed into the depression on the far side of the bushes, the air-bags going off and hiding both Xander and Cat from view.

Turning back to the road, he watched as Morris, astride a snarling motorcycle followed the Cord's path, although more controlled and at a much lower speed, landing with only a slight wobble in the road, and heading straight for the trimmed bushes at the side of the road, through which he had expected the Cord to crash.

Instead it was the motorcycle which did the crashing, but most amazing of all was watching as Morris impaled himself on a branch moments before his bike snapped it into oblivion as it plowed its way through the shrubbery, leaving a glowing swirling vortex in its wake, as Morris Smitz literally went to hell.

Turning back to his left, he was just in time to see the bike plow into the rear of the Cord, and explode.

The airbags similarly detonated, and before he could move forward, a genuine conflagration was taking place where the cord had been.

Zeke watched in horror as Cat emerged from the flames, the still form of Xander in her arms, which she set down before turning back towards the car and the flames surrounding it. She seemed to concentrate on something, and before his astonished eyes everything but the dirt for several feet around the car burst suddenly to ash, leaving the fire with no further fuel. Of the crashed car and motorcycle there was no sign, other than the singed area of ash laying upon the ground.

Zeke took in Cat's appearance. She was physically unharmed, although her dress was torn and splashed liberally with what he assumed was Xander's blood.

Xander however looked more like someone had tried to feed him to a cuisinart . In a Bar-B-Q.

He was covered in minor cuts and lacerations, and his clothes were more than a little singed, smoke still wafting from him in areas.

"Is he ok?" Zeke asked Cat.

She looked down at him and shrugged a little sadly, "He's dead. He'll be ok."

Zeke blinked, still trying to come to terms with her casual attitude towards her fiancé's occasional lack of life. Shrugging he turned back towards the road, "Well, Morris Smitz is back in Hell. Let's get out of here before anyone comes to investigate." So saying he led the way back to the RV, Cat casually carrying Xander's body as she followed him through the dark park.

Xander had returned to the land of the living by the time Zeke had gotten them back to the Raven. Xander led the way out of the RV, making his way swiftly up the stairs in his ruined clothes. Sometime when Zeke hadn't been paying attention, Cat had changed her ruined and soiled dress for a simple pair of jeans and a plain white blouse, her feet clad in blue deck shoes.

Zeke opted to remain in the RV for the remainder of the night, and so bid them both a good evening as they climbed the stairs, and he went to plug in the umbilical so the batteries could recharge. Zeke could understand this RV, dead or not, he needed to recharge his own batteries as well at this point.

Entering the apartment, Xander made his way straight into the kitchen. He pulled the bottle of milk out of the refrigerator, and poured himself a glass, which he then poured straight down his throat, while still holding the milk bottle in his other hand, and standing in front of the open refrigerator door. As soon as he lowered the empty glass, he refilled it, finally returning the now almost empty milk to the shelf and closing the refrigerator door. Pausing at the counter, he plucked a twinkie from the open box laying there, before continuing on his path to the Master Bedroom.

"Xander, honey, are you all right?" Cat asked.

"I crashed the car." He said, before shoving the twinkie in his mouth and biting half of it off at once.

Moving into the bedroom he shoved the rest of the twinke in his mouth and took another huge gulp of milk, half draining the glass, before gathering a few things from the monster cabinet, then heading towards the bathroom.

Cat trailed him into the bedroom, but was stopped there as he closed the bathroom door behind himself.

"That was the plan." Cat pointed out.

"I liked that car" his muffled voice came through the door. As the sound of the shower came on.

A short while later the door opened again, and a damp Xander made his way out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a clean pair of boxers and a white t-shirt. Held in his hand were the remnants of the clothes he had worn that night. "What should I do with these?"

Cat took them and casually destroyed them, dumping the ashes in the waste basket by the bathroom door.

"So, other than having crashed the car, are you all right?" Cat asked.

"I suppose. I just wish I hadn't crashed the car. I liked that car." Xander whined.

"Why? It was just a car?" Cat asked.

"Two reasons," Xander explained, "First, because it was a cool car. But more importantly, because you made it for me." With that he bent over and gave her a soft, passionate kiss, before turning towards the bed.

He climbed into the bed, and started to find a comfortable position in which to go to sleep.

Cat realized that this was it. Now was the moment. It was time to prove the Devil wrong.

Calmly, she walked over to the foot of the bed, then she carefully pulled her clothes off, and fully naked she slid under the covers with Xander.

Molding her body against his she said softly, "Xander?"

Xander, who had just shut off the light peered at her in the darkness, the only light coming from the clock on the nightstand behind his head, and the tiny safety light in the bathroom. "Yes, Cat?"

"Do you know what we haven't done yet?" she asked, being as seductive as she could.

Xander blinked in the dim light, then shook his head, "Did I leave the milk out or something?"

"No silly." Cat said, kissing him.

"Uh, you want me to get the glass from the bathroom and put it in the dishwasher?" Xander guessed again.

"No. Nothing about the glass, or the milk or anything else." Cat answered this time with a pout.

"Uh, drawing a big blank here then, What did we forget to do?" Xander asked.

"It's not something we forgot, as much as simply haven't done. We haven't made love to one another yet." Cat said, brushing herself against him suggestively.

Xander's arms automatically circled around her, hugging her naked form to his own semi-clothed one.

Cat moved up and kissed him, a deep kiss which he returned. When they finally broke apart, she asked him breathily, "So? Are you ready?"

Her heart seemed to seize in her chest however when he shook his head reluctantly, "No, not tonight. I can't. It's not the right time. Cat, I want it to be perfect. And this isn't perfect. I'm tired, and still hungry, and wouldn't be able to do a good job. And that wouldn't be fair." he said leaning up to kiss her as she laid on top of her. After a brief moment, she broke the kiss however, and slid off him to the side, turning her face away from his. She managed somehow to get out a soft, "Ok" followed a few moments later by a muffled "good night" as she buried her face in the pillow, her body spooning against his, as she faced away.

Xander hugged her tightly as he slowly fell asleep, while Cat silently sobbed into her pillow. Her only thought, "Lucifer was right, he doesn't really love me."

To be continued in Part 16 - Family Problems (or Endora she's not)

--- Snip here to detach actual story from after-notes. ---

Ok, for those wondering about the car, it doesn't exist any more than does the Tucker Solar Electric RV they gave Zeke.

It is a 1995 Cord. (Cord went out of business in the late 30's)

As Cat could tell you, it's a Phaeton 932 Turbo. It has a supercharged 12 cylinder engine under that really long hood.

If you go here, you can see what the cars looked like in 1937.

http/ click on each of the cars )

http/ were the top of the class in powerful, fast, and expensive sports cars in 1937, owned almost exclusively by the elite of the rich and famous. Just imagine what they would have evolved into after another fifty years.


	16. Knight Errant Part 16 – Family Problems

Part 16 - Family Problems.

Cat woke before Xander, it was still morning, and her master, for he was not and never would be her husband was sleeping peacefully next to her.

Over the night she had resigned herself to not having the life she had imagined as his beloved. It tore her apart, but she would do whatever she could to insure his own happiness, for even if he didn't feel for her the same way she felt for him, he was a kind and honorable man, one who would sacrifice his happiness for hers even if he didn't love her. How could she do any less than follow his example. But it was so hard.

She started to cry again silently as she climbed out of her bed, and headed into the living room.

Closing the bedroom door behind her, she decided to go see her mother. Hopefully she would be able to help.

Xander awoke alone in the bed.

Looking around the darkened bedroom Xander suddenly remembered what had totally slipped his mind when he'd walked into the apartment and seen Cat in that black dress the night before – THE RING!

Fully awake in an instant, Xander literally flew from the bed across the room like a missile, wrenching open the cabinet and looking for the jacket he had worn the day before.

Locating it, he dug into the pocket and came up with the small box containing the engagement ring he had managed to select along with the simple wedding band he was to pick up today once he knew the engagement ring was the right size. Having not had an actual ring or anything else to physically size Cat's finger, he had been forced to go by his memory, and while a study of Cat in every aspect had seemingly become his hobby over the past few days - was it only days, wow – he wanted to make sure the white gold wedding band he'd selected was perfect before the service THAT EVENING.

He had to find Cat. Now.

Tugging a shirt and a pair of pants randomly out of the cabinet he tossed them on, then walked barefoot into the living room to find Cat.

She wasn't there.

On a chance, he checked the guest room, but no, she wasn't there either.

Ducking back into the bedroom, he pulled on shoes and socks, then wandered out of the apartment, down the hall, and outside, to check with Zeke in his RV. Perhaps she was there.

Maahes was furious.

He had wanted to kill Harris as soon as he had heard what had happened in hell.

The thought of his perfect, wonderful sister indentured to someone was just wrong. Only the fact that the someone in question was his own father's champion had stayed his hand. That and his sister's later pleas to both himself and his Mother.

Bast had also been willing to kill the man to free her daughter from the life debt, despite Janus's claims that Harris would never take advantage of the situation. After all, Harris had been in Hell, even if he hadn't been sentenced there after a mortal life of wrongdoing, he had been sent there somehow, people didn't just end up in hell by accident. And he had used his sister to escape.

But then he had heard that perhaps this Harris actually cared for his sister. And looking into the actions of Harris had shown that despite the claims of the whiny self proclaimed Powers That Be, Harris had acted honorably in every incident which could be objectively documented. Even the one which did apparently accidentally send him to Hell.

His heart warmed when he had heard that Harris actually claimed to love his sister, and wanted her as a wife, instead of just as a slave. His mother had proposed the offer of marriage to his father, Harris's Patron. Who had accepted on his behalf, essentially wedding them, although the bonding would not actually occur without the actual act of physical intimacy which would seal the deal, so to speak.

And now, his sister was here, physically, for the first time since she had been kidnapped and taken away, but she was crying. Because Harris rejected her.

He wasn't close enough to hear everything, but he had made out enough to know that the bastard Harris had told his sister he loved her, but had rejected her and refused to take her as his wife when she offered.

Apparently his mother wasn't very happy either, holding his sister and trying to coax the details out of the sobbing goddess.

Zeke looked blearily at the frantic Xander who stood outside the door to his RV. Having been awoken so early after such a late night, he really needed coffee to track events with any coherency, so all he could do was assure Xander he hadn't heard from Cat since the night before, and watch as the young man trudged back up the stairs with a worried expression on his face, and the ring box clutched tightly in his hand.

Maahes looked up sharply when he heard his mother screech out in pure anger suddenly, a sound which had made entire armies quake in their boots, "He said WHAT! Dear, you should know better than to listen to ANYTHING he says, he's a self serving troublemaker which only exists to cause pain to others. Why the Creator insists on allowing him to be I've never fully understood. I would have smitten him from existence myself had I been allowed. I may do so now, allowed or not! Now, let's find the lie, because I know it's there, along with the truth, it always is in his words. What exactly did he say, word for word?"

Maahes had heard enough. If he mother wasn't allowed to deal with Harris, then he would. After all, he had committed the ultimate sin – he had made his baby sister cry.

The Leonine Lord of Slaughter would exact vengeance in his sister's name. Harris may now be his darling little sister's master, but that didn't mean he was free to do whatever he felt like. Maahes would educate him on that point as best he could. Harris would hurt. A lot. Maybe then he would let him die. Then he would see to it that Harris hurt some more.

Xander was not happy. It was the morning of his wedding, and he had yet to propose to his bride to be. Worse yet, at the moment he couldn't even find her.

Cat had vanished sometime during the night, leaving neither a note nor telling anyone where she was going.

Xander had even awoken LaCroix, on the off chance he had known something. LaCroix had only dourly enquired as to whether he should halt preparations for the nuptials that evening in the Raven, at least until the bride could be located. Xander had considered it, then decided against it. If Cat was still missing later, well, he could always let LaCroix open the club as usual. It wasn't like this was going to be a huge service, heck, as far as he knew it would consist of himself, Cat, LaCroix who would give Cat away, Zeke who was standing as his Best Man, and pending Cat's approval Urs, who had agreed to stand with Cat as her Maid of Honor.

LaCroix had mentioned some other guests may be interested in attending, and Xander had shrugged and said, "It's your club, invite who you will. All I care about is Cat, and doing things right for her."

He supposed Nick and some others may show up, but really couldn't be bothered. What bothered him at the moment was Cat.

He thought back over the past few days and his interactions with Cat. Had he been taking her for granted, in that she was always around? He knew she hadn't exactly been happy when he had left her to go to the mall, but he'd wanted to surprise her with the whole wedding thing, thinking it would be somewhat romantic. Really romantic, he totally forgot about it when he got home, the sight of her in that dress literally blowing his mind, and now that the circuit breakers had finally reset, it was The Day, and the bride was gone. And he was worried.

He was contemplating going to the police and asking them if they could recommend places to check for her, like a list of local hospitals and such, when a loud thump drew his attention up from the opened ring box in his hands to a large imposing figure which stood in the middle of his living room.

"Alexander Harris?" the figure spoke in a deep, menacing voice.

"Yeah, what do you want?" Xander asked, setting the ring box on the table, and standing to his own feet in order to meet the threat he felt pouring off the figure before him in almost tangible waves.

"I am here to make you hurt." The figure growled.

Xander took in the figure, it looked like a man, with the head of a lion. It's dress was some archaic warrior's garb, and included a huge double edged bastard type sword which seemed to have been washed in gold to match his outfit.

All in all the figure would look impressive standing in the sun on an open field of battle. But Xander was not impressed. He had other concerns at the moment. "Well I'm sorry Lion-boy, but the line to kick my ass forms outside the door. I don't have time to deal with demons right now, I need to figure out how to find Cat so I can propose to her sometime today before the wedding. So unless you know where my girlfriend is, I'd recommend you leave, or I'll probably owe LaCroix a cleaning deposit, since I'm not exactly in a happy mood."

Maahes was incensed. Never had a mortal dared treat him with such disrespect. Not that the man before him was a mortal, exactly, but he was far from a God such as himself. And even if he was the master of his baby sister, he should still know his place, and respect his betters.

Maahes however sensed no fear from the man before him. Worry, yes, but he had been sensing that before he had even made his presence known. The fact that this puny mortal was telling him to leave, and dismissing him as though no more than an annoyance, he wasn't sure how to respond. Such things simply didn't happen. People saw him in his leonine glory and cowered in fear and respect. Perhaps there was something about his countenance which this mortal found less than terrifying. A new image might aid him in garnering the fear and respect he properly deserved.

Maahes reached out and touched the mind of the man before him, thrusting aside the unexpected resistance, and delving for the greatest moment of fear and terror held within the man's subconscious memory.

Buried deeply was a repressed nightmare the then youth had experienced shortly before his journey to Hell. Maahes unlocked the memory and replayed the dream for his inspection.

Xander wandered the hallway of Sunnydale High, trapped in an unmoving mass of students.

Suddenly the halls cleared as the bell rang, all the students vanishing and the doors slamming closed and locking with a series of loud bang-clicks.

"Mister Harris" came a snide voice from behind him.

Spinning around, Xander spotted his nemesis, Principal Snyder.

Snyder strode forward. a stack of detention slips waving in his hand, "I see you are out of class again, not that you had any to begin with, you looser."

Xander turned and bolted down the hallway away from the principal, hanging a right at each intersection. No matter how far or fast he ran however, every time he looked back, he saw Snyder calmly walking behind him, carrying an ever growing stack of detention slips.

Rounding one more corner, Xander smacked straight into the form of Larry, the football player who had tormented him and his friends since they were in kindergarten.

Looking up at the towering muscular form of Larry from his new position on the floor, Xander started to utter an apology, only to be cut off by Larry. "That's ok, Xander. After all, since you now know I'm gay, and everyone just considers you as one of the girls, you can be my girlfriend now. And I can't beat up on my girlfriend for bumping into me, now can I? But while you are down there, there is something you can do for me."

Xander screamed "Argha" and crawled backwards away from the towering form of Larry who was trying to unzip his crotch, only to run into the feet of Snyder, who was carrying a now huge stack of detention slips, all of which he dropped on Xander's form.

As the yellow, green, and pink papers rained sown around the cowering Xander, Snyder moved over to stand in front of Larry.

"You know, Harris, that's a lot of detention." Snyder said with a sneer.

"You're going to be here for a long time" Larry continued.

"So" Snyder said, stepping back until he was touching Larry.

"I think that we should, consolidate our efforts." Larry continued, stepping forward and merging physically with Snyder.

Snyder and Larry's forms flowed until finally a seven foot tall heavily muscled version of Snyder stood sneering down at a suddenly naked Xander.

"Now, about that thing you can do while you are down there," the monster Snyder, reaching for his crotch.

"Nargh!" screamed Xander incoherently, as he struggled to back away and hide in the mountain of detention slips, however every move he made resulted in his being sliced painfuly by the edges of the papers, papers which now surrounded him on all sides, as he was buried under the sharp pages.

"Come on out, Harris" came Snyder's sneering voice, muffled by the mountain of paper, but Xander simply cowered and cried in fear and the pain of a body covered in thousands of paper cuts.

Maahes smiled inwardly as he tasted the cowardice associated with the image of the seven foot Snyder.

This he could work with.

With a sneer, he reformed himself into the image from the dream.

Let's see Harris dismiss this.

Xander felt a presence brush against his mind. Reflexively he moved to cast off the intrusion, but found himself vastly overpowered. Thoughts and memories long dismissed seemed to flash across his consciousness, a coruscating wave of painful images. Struggling against the assault, Xander slackened his efforts against the mental intruder, and instead began focusing his energy for an attack of his own.

Suddenly the lionheaded form before him morphed, becoming larger, and its face taking on a familiar smirk. "Snyder!" Xander growled, and pulling Kusanagi from the sheath on his back, leapt forward in an instant attack.

Maahes watched in shock as his new form, taken right from the man's mind failed to inspire the fear and respect it should have, instead eliciting an immediate attack, and as the man flew, yes, flew through the air at him, he recognized the blade in his arm as Kusanagi. One of the few weapons wieldable by a mortal capable of harming, or in this case killing a God. And for the briefest of moments Maahes experienced something entirely new in his existence, fear.

Xander, for the first time that morning was no longer worried about Cat. He suddenly found himself facing something worthy of his venting his frustrations at himself, a seven foot demonic version of his high school principal, Snyder.

Kusanagi was a soft, almost comforting presence in his hand as he flew across the room to get within range of the creature which had invaded his home.

Xander drew the blade back, even as he altered the angle of his flight so his feet would be bale to provide him solid purchase for the hopefully brief fight to come, having learned over the years that a blow delivered while in flight lacked any real force behind it, and this thing was big, it was going to take a lot of force to put it down.

Maahes drew his own blade in order to meet the charging warrior, for rude and impertinent as he was, Maahes had to give the credit due, Harris may be a bastard who had hurt his sister by choosing to peruse and marry this Cat person, whilst falsely proclaiming his love to his sister, but he was no coward.

Maahes raised his sword to meet the incoming blow from Kusanagi.

"For my sister's honor and freedom, you will die, Harris." He said, feeling his anger build once more, the moment of fear forgotten.

Xander swung Kusanagi at the creatures neck, hoping a quick decapitation would end the fight before the larger creatures strength could become an issue.

He was dismayed to see it pull it's own blade and meet Kusanagi in mid swing, parrying Xander's opening blow while proclaiming, " For my sister's honor and freedom, you will die, Harris."

Xander blinked at the force behind the parry. Had he not been leaning into the blow, the force could well have knocked him off his feet. Still, he stepped back and prepared to settle down for a drawn out fight, if that's what it would take.

"What sister, Snyder? And how long have you been a demon? Did Buffy find out?"

Snyder sneered at him, and swung his own blade at Xander's torso, "You well know who my sister is, mortal. And I am not a demon, fool, I am a GOD!"

Xander blocked the swing with Kusanagi, feeling his feet lifted off the floor from the force of the blow, but even before he had landed again, he was bringing Kusanagi in on a swipe of his own, hoping to disable the sword arm of the powerful being before him.

"Well, I know a few Gods these days, heck my girlfriend Cat is a Goddess herself, in more ways than one, so the title doesn't impress me as much as it once would have." Xander replied, even as the giant Snyder blocked his slash, and riposted with a swipe of his own, drawing first blood from Xander by slashing him along the side in a blow that was surprisingly painful, despite being relatively shallow.

Gritting his teeth against the pain, he once more raised Kusanagi and stepped back for a little more maneuvering room before lunging forward again with another attack.

Maahes had to give the mortal yet more credit. He fought well, considering how slow and weak he was.

It took three blow before Maahes even managed to draw first blood, any other mortal he had ever met before would have been dead by now. More interestingly, despite the blow from his weapon, the mortal was still on his feet and fighting. Even another God should have been mewling in pain from a slice caused by his blade, but instead he was moving towards a new attack, even as his blood flowed from the permanent wound in his side, the magic of his blade insuring that the wound would never close until after his foe had died and the blood had stopped flowing.

Maahes was even more shocked when the man actually managed to cut him with Kusanagi on his next swing. It was one thing to still be moving when one should be curled up on the ground in pain, it was another to be able to fight coherently against an immeasurably superior foe. And yet another to strike even a glancing blow against that foe. Maahes was impressed despite himself. Still, he'd kill this man to salvage his sister's honor.

Xander had managed to complete a strike against the beast's shoulder. Unfortunately it wasn't the shoulder of the arm holding the blade, but still, it was a strike.

The pain in his side was almost blinding, and he could feel both his Quickening and his vampyric essence trying to heal the wound, and failing. Which only made the thing that much more painful. Worse, even as he watched, his opponent's wound closed as though it had never been, even the clothes knitting back up, the large suit jacket looking as rumpled as any of Snyder's ever did.

Xander realized if he was going to win this, he'd have to do it quickly.

Maahes had repaired the damage caused to his shoulder by Harris's lucky blow. He was still mildly amazed that Harris was still moving, let alone fighting, but he knew from the amount of blood that it would not be much longer until Harris passed out from the loss.

"Who is this Cat whom you cheated on my sister with, tell me so I can hunt her down and kill her as well, Harris."

Harris's eyes flashed green, and he suddenly surged forward with a renewed strength and energy as he screamed out, "You will NOT TOUCH CAT!"

Maahes was shocked by the superhuman response from the dying man before, him, even as he moved to block the impossibly swift rain of blows with his own blade.

Xander felt his core detonated in rage, all control finally lost as the creature, be it god or demon, before him threatened Cat. No one threatened Cat. Xander, yes. Cat, no.

Xander felt the full force of the Hyena surge within him to protect his mate. It twined with the power of the quickening and the strength and speed of the vampire, and he exploded into action even faster than his thoughts themselves, his body raining down reflexive blows as fast as his eyes could track his target.

He never even noticed as the front door opened, and Zeke stepped inside.

Zeke had finally managed to warm up enough coffee in the RV's microwave to animate his necroplasmic body in a vague semblance of life. Getting dressed for the day, he considered that he'd probably need something other than his normal suit for the wedding this evening. Assuming Xander found Cat.

The boy had been quite worried about his missing girlfriend, but he supposed he could understand, had he woken up one morning to find his wife simply gone, he would have panicked a bit as well.

So as soon as he thought himself coherent enough, he headed up the stairs and into the building, down the short hallway and let himself into Cat and Xander's apartment, only to find the last thing he ever expected to see.

Xander was engaged in a swordfight. With a seven foot tall troll like man, who's face seemed permanently formed in an arrogant sneer.

Xander had his omnipresent blade out, against a truly enormous golden weapon wielded by the troll. Zeke's first thought on seeing the enormous golden blade was "Overcompensation?" But then he noticed that Xander was bleeding. A lot. The floor of the apartment was slick with blood as Xander suddenly charged forward faster than anything Zeke had ever seen, screaming out "You will not touch Cat!" and started swinging repeatedly at the troll's defensively moving blade so fast that both were literally just blurs.

Zeke swiftly pulled his gun, and took careful aim at the troll's head.

He let out his breath and waited for a heartbeat, then he pulled the trigger.

Maahes was amazed by the ferocity of the attack from Harris. It was all he could do to block the attacks swinging at him faster than a human eye could possibly track them. He once more raised his estimation of the man before him. He could have been a truly worthy brother-in-law, were it not for his fixation on this Cat woman.

He vaguely noticed the arrival of yet another mortal through the door to the apartment. There was something off about the man but Maahes was unable to spare any attention from the suddenly vicious attack from Harris as he attempted to end the threat Maahes posed to his girlfriend Cat.

He was thus totally taken by surprise when a loud "Boom" echoed in the room, and a painful blow struck his head, scrambling his mind.

In a last ditch reflexive action, Maahes fled for his home, even as everything went black.

Xander swung Kusanagi again and again, feeling even his renewed strength fading as all his efforts were rendered futile by the blocking efforts of the golden blade wielded by the monster Snyder.

Suddenly there was a booming report of a firearm going off, and the giant Snyder was knocked back, a long, deep gash sliced by a bullet gouged through his head. A portal similar to one of Cat's flashed, and the self proclaimed god was gone.

Xander dropped to the floor, the adrenalin fading and leaving nothing behind to support him. He looked blearily up and saw Zeke standing over him with a concerned look on his face, as the last of Xander's life force slipped away, leaving nothing in its wake but darkness.

Zeke stood over the still form of Xander, watching as the blood finally trickled to a stop from the wound in is side.

But then nothing happened. No little sparks of light, as he had seen before after the car crash, nothing. Just a dead body on the floor.

And then he was knocked out of the way as Cat hurtled past him screaming "Xander!"

Cat looked up at Zeke, her cheeks shining from the tears running down them. "What happened?"

Zeke shrugged his shoulders and replied, "He came down looking for you all panicked, then when I told him I hadn't seen or heard from you he went back upstairs."

Zeek glanced over his shoulder at the oddly dressed dark skinned woman who was silently taking everything in before continuing, "I got some coffee then got dressed, came up to see if I could help, and found him fighting some big ugly guy in a suit. I've never seen anyone move so fast in my life, Xander yelled something about the other one never hurting you, and then he was slashing at the other guy faster than I could actually make out. His arms and his sword were just blurs. But the other guy, he was just as fast, and he'd already cut Xander apparently with that big golden sword of his."

Both Cat and the other woman exchanged glances when he mentioned the sword, "I decided anyone fighting Xander with you missing was likely a bad guy, so I shot him. Didn't put him down but he opened a portal thing like you do, and disappeared through it. Then Xander died, but his wound isn't healing like it did last night."

Cat reached out and touched the open gash in his side, the blood still slowly oozing out as it dried to a sticky consistency. She pulled her hand back, now covered in blood and looked up through her tears at the other woman. "Maahes?" she asked.

The other woman's face darkened, and she shrugged, "Could be, but why?"

Spotting the open ring box on the table, Zeke offered, "Trying to stop the wedding?"

Both women looked at him in surprise, "What wedding?" the older one asked sharply.

Zeke nodded to Cat where she couched by Xander's still form, "Cat's and Xander's. I was supposed to be his best man. He tapped me for it when we went ring shopping yesterday."

Cat spoke up, "Ring shopping? You mean when he had you take him to the Mall?"

Zeke nodded, gesturing at the ring laying securely in the tipped over open box, the small blue-white diamond sparkling against the white gold of the band. "Yeah, he picked out a pair of rings, that one to give to you as soon as he got back, he was practicing his speech the whole way back, over and over again, said he didn't want to mess it up, wanted it to be perfect for you."

Cat's eyes widened, then she asked, "So what happened?"

Zeke shrugged, "I dunno. I think when we got back you broke him. I didn't think about it again until I was waiting while the two of you were in the party. And afterwards it didn't cross my own mind again until this morning. Could be the same thing happened to him."

The older woman spoke now, "Who are you?"

Zeke looked at her, then at Cat. "I'm a friend of Cat's and Xander's. Name's Ezekiel Stone."

The woman's eyes widened, and she said, "Lucifer's hunter? The one sent to retrieve the escaped souls?"

Zeke's own eyes widened, and he asked carefully, "Who are you, if I may ask?"

Cat answered before she could, "She's my mother. The goddess Bast."

A gasp came from the open door to the hallway, and everyone turned to take in a stunned looking LaCroix. "My Lady", he said in egyptian, suddenly bowing deeply.

Bast looked at him amused, then asked, "And you my good sir?"

"Lucien LaCroix, proprietor of this humble establishment you have honored by your presence. I was drawn by the noise. Is everything alright?" he answered, then asked.

Zeke looked at the still unhealing Xander, and said, "Well, we've found the bride, but the groom is a bit dead at the moment. Normally I wouldn't worry, but this time it seems to be sticking more than before."

Lucien crossed the room and knelt at Xander's side, his own hand reaching out and touching the wound, then jerking back with a hiss of pain. "Something is very wrong." He said rushing to the kitchen and washing his hand under the water, removing the blood and leaving burned looking skin behind..

The woman looked at LaCroix's burn then asked, "You are a vampire, yes?"

LaCroix nodded.

"Then the blood must have been blessed, or is cursed somehow."

Cat asked, "Mom, Xander is part vampire as well. What would that mean to him?"

Bast closed her eyes and thought. "It could mean nothing, if the effect is limited to the area of the wound, or it could be very bad if the effect is spread throughout his being. He may be literally destroying himself from the inside out, imagine a vampire with holy water instead of blood."

LaCroix shuddered at the concept, then asked, "But how could his blood become blessed?"

Bast shrugged, then looked at Cat. "I think we need to get your father."

Cat looked confused, "But you wouldn't tell me who my father was. You said I must never know."

Bast shook her head, "No, I said it was dangerous for you to know. You see, there was a prophecy, one issued shortly before your birth. Your father and I decided the only way to thwart it was to deny it the ability to come true. That's why we gave you the name we did."

Cat looked confused, "The funny looking picture?"

"Yes. Your name being spoken was a part of the prophecy, so we deliberately gave you a name which could never be spoken, to try and save you."

"And never knowing who my father is?" Cat asked.

"Again, another part of the prophecy. To keep you from being taken from his hands, he never held you. So for the most part he's stayed away from you as much as he could. And trust me it has been very hard for him, as he's loved you very much."

Cat said, "So, who is he, and how can he help Xander?"

In response, Bast simply called our, "Janus!"

Maahes awoke laying on the floor in his residence. Around him was his own blood. He had been hurt, but now that he was awake it was just a matter of focusing his will to repair the damage, after all his form was nothing more than an expression of his will.

He reflected on the fight with Harris. At least Harris should be dead by now. But at the end, he was fighting more like a god than like a man. He'd never seen a mortal move with such speed and strength, not even a Slayer.

Once more he regretted the fact that he'd have to destroy Harris in order to free his sister from her duty to him. If he hadn't been such a cad he would have made an excellent brother-in-law, one he could have been proud of. Especially the way he fought to protect that Cat of his.

Suddenly Maahes's thoughts hit a hitch as he pictured his sister as a kitten, her preferred form when young.

He then replayed his last thoughts once more. That Cat of his, what if he had been fighting to protect his sister? But no, he hadn't heard everything his mother and sister had talked about, but he knew Harris had named his sister Snowball.

His thoughts hitched again. Harris had NAMED his sister. That wouldn't count, would it? He had to find his father, fast. If his sister had actually been NAMED, then she would be in danger from the prophecy.

Janus emerged from a portal into the apartment and took in the form of his daughter hovering over the body of his Champion, an embodied soul, a familiar looking vampire, and the mother of his two children standing around. "Who summoned me?" he asked, turning his warrior face towards them.

Bast gestured at the still form of his Champion and said, "Something is wrong."

Janus turned his maternal face towards his daughter and his Champion, then bent down and peered at the boy's body. Suddenly he jerked up and looked at his daughter, "Who did this to him?"

Cat looked scared, "Did what?" she asked.

Janus turned his fatherly face towards his daughter and explained, "He's been sliced with an enspelled weapon. The wound won't heal until the blood stops flowing from it."

"He's already dead, so why isn't it healing?" Zeke asked.

Turning to look at the embodied soul with the face of wisdom, Janus explained, "That's not how it works. As long as blood leaves the body through the wound, the spell is empowered. The only way to stop the spell is for the blood to stop flowing. Alexander will never heal from this wound, and he will never awaken until he is healed. The vampire and the Immortal aspects of his being are both strong enough to continue creating enough blood to sustain the spell indefinitely, but not strong enough to overcome the spell and heal the wound, as the more blood which flows, the stronger the spell is." Janus looked at the blood all over the floor, "The spell must have been incredibly strong with all this blood. It must have been extremely painful."

Suddenly another portal opened into the room, and the same person Zeke had shot emerged from it, "Father!" he called, not looking around, "That Harris bastard may have NAMED my sister!"

Janus turned with the Warrior's face and looked at the new arrival, "What?" he scowled.

Cat however hadn't hesitated. As soon as Maahes appeared, she plucked Kusanagi from where she lay on the floor beside Xander's hand, and hurtled herself at her brother with a scream of rage.

Maahes looked up just in time to see his sister charging at him with murder plainly written on her face. "What did you do to Xander!" she screamed as she swung Kusanagi at his neck.

Only a quick duck saved him from decapitation before he could answer.

Pulling his own blade in defense he tried to explain, "He was cheating on you with some bitch named Cat. He was going to marry her."

Another swipe came at him even harder and faster than her first as she growled out "I'm Cat you IDIOT!"

Maahes was stunned. So stunned he dropped his own sword, and was rewarded for his action as Kusanagi scored a deep slash across his shoulder, almost severing his arm.

He ignored his own pain and looked into the tortured eyes of his sister as she tugged on the blade, dislodging it from his bone, and pulling it back to swing at him again. All he could do was say, "I'm sorry."

Cat dropped Kusanagi, and turned and fled back to Xander's body, grabbing the still and slowly cooling form from the floor to hug it to herself.

Maahes healed his arm and idly restored the clothing above it as he bent down and retrieved both his own blade and Kusanagi, which burned his hand mildly, as though in reprimand for his actions.

He carried the blade towards his sister, and set it down on the floor beside her. "I though he was supposed to be immortal or something?" he asked, looking at the dead form before him, "That if we killed him he'd heal and recover like those head hunting orphans of Raiden."

Cat was still crying over Xander's form when his father spoke up from beside him, "He would, if you hadn't used your enchanted blade on him."

Maahes looked up in confusion, "What, it didn't seem to be slowing him down all that much at the time. I've seen other gods fall to the ground in pain, but he kept fighting. Especially when." He trailed off, realizing just what it was that had set Harris off so badly.

His mother spoke up sharply from where she was standing by the elder vampire, "When What?"

Maahes surrendered to the inevitable, "When I threatened to hunt down the Cat he was planning on marrying and kill her."

The sobs of his sister cut him more painfully than any wound he had experienced ever had before.

He looked down at her and tried to explain, "I didn't know. I thought he'd named you Snowball."

Suddenly both Bast and Janus looked up sharply, "What did you say?" Janus asked carefully.

Maahes shrugged, "I didn't know."

"No, after that." Janus prompted.

"That he'd named her Snowball. And that got me thinking, what if that counted as a NAMING. Then she has a NAME, and if that's the case, and anyone knows about it." He trailed off.

Cat's sobs were harder now, her voice softer, almost impossible to hear, "He was the only one to ever give me a real name. And then he wanted to take it away. It was our first argument. He didn't understand what it meant to me that he gave me a real name. No one ever had a name for me before. He made me real somehow."

The three other deities looked at one another, the elder pair wondering if they had made the right choice all those years ago when they decided not to give their child a normal name, in order to save her from the prophecy.

Zeke seemed to pick up on the silent communication between the two, and he finally asked, "What is this prophesy you three are so worried about?"

Bast looked at Zeke and said simply, " The Undestined Godling who speaks her Name will be bonded to her soul." She started to speak again, but her voice seemed to fail her at that point.

Instead, Janus turned his fatherly face towards Zeke and continued for her, saying, "He shall take her from her father's hand and consume her."

Janus then fell silent as well, Maahes concluded the ancient words spoken by the oracle saying, "He shall hold her heart and soul for all eternity."

"So who is this undestined godling?" Zeke asked, confused.

"No one knows", said Bast. "But the most likely explanation is it is a title, either that or a description. I had feared it was the demon lord Grumfistan, since he was planning on eating her to gain some of her power. But Xander rescued her from him, and at the time at least, she didn't have a Name. Everyone had always just referred to her as my daughter, or as Maahes's sister."

"So by naming her Xander made her vulnerable to this godling? And what is a godling anyhow, sounds like some sort of bird."

LaCroix answered that one, "A godling is a young god, one who is still growing into their power."

"So somewhere out there is a baby god which wants to eat Cat?" Zeke asked.

"That is the problem with prophecies, they're like your boss's words, true, but never as you think them to be." Bast said with a glance at Cat who's sobs had subsided again as she sat on the floor holding Xander's body in her lap.

Zeke nodded, knowing only too well what she meant after dealing directly with the devil for the past several months.

LaCroix spoke up, "What about Xander's blood. Why would it burn me, and does that mean it's burning him? Or was that a side effect of the curse on his wound?"

Janus looked confused, "What do you mean his blood burned you?"

LaCroix held up his hand, the fading red still barely visible, "I touched his wound, to try and find why it wasn't closing, but his blood burned like holy water or a cross."

Janus turned his wise face to peer at the wound more closely, reaching out and touching it himself, then murmured, "This is odd."

"What is it?" Bast asked.

"His blood. It's..." Janus trailed off, looking at the stick red on his fingers thoughtfully.

He turned to his warrior's face and went on, "It's got a power to it, almost like it was holy somehow."

"Holy what?" Zeke asked.

"Just holy. From a deity. Like my blood would be, or Bast's, or our children's. It wasn't like this before. I'm pretty sure." Janus explained, switching to his youngest face.

Maahes finally spoke, "Is there anything we can do to heal him?"

Janus turned his fatherly face to his son and answered, "Stop the blood. The only way to stop the spell is to stop the blood. But as long as his body is trying to heal, it will continue to bleed. And until it heals, he won't revive. I set it up that way so he'd always come back as good as new, literally. If something killed him, he wouldn't revive until every injury, no matter how major or minor was healed. Heck, unlike the real Immortals, you could hack off his arm, and if you killed him, when he healed it'd grow back."

Maahes looked down at his own recently healed arm and said, "Like when one of us dismisses an injury?"

Janus shrugged, "More or less. It's not a conscious action though. But the process is pretty much the same. His body draws energy and the energy is used to repair the damage according to the template which was set when he first 'died', much like the Immortals from The Game."

LaCroix spoke up then, interjecting himself into the conversation, "What if he was burned?" he asked, looking at his now almost recovered hand.

Janus turned his motherly face on the old vampire, "It'd heal just like any other injury, why?"

LaCroix smiled and said, "And what if we cauterized the wound so it stopped bleeding?"

Cat looked up in surprise as Bast answered for Janus, "The blood would stop, the spell would end, and the wounds would heal, right?"

Janus simply smiled and nodded.

Cat watched as her mother carefully ran the iron LaCrox had retrieved from his apartment over the wound in Xander's side, peeling the now charred flesh apart so she could reach every part of the slice with the hot metal or at least the steam jets it emitted. Tiny sparks could be seen leaping amongst the burns already, apparently working to heal wherever the iron itself wasn't currently damaging, or the spell still 'protecting'. Finally, she leaned back away from the area, fanning the burnt bacon smell away from her face, then looked over at Maahes who sat sullenly in a corner. "Don't think I'm letting you off the hook easily for this. If this works, and it looks like it is, then we have a wedding to get ready for, and I have a very special mission for you. One which might go a little ways towards convincing my future son-in-law to forgive you. If you're lucky."

With that she walked her son out of the room, leaving the rest of the group behind. Janus looked around suddenly and asked, "Wedding?"

Cat nodded and looked up at her Uncle Janus, no, her Father. "Yes, Xander is planning on marrying me, apparently today."

LaCroix spoke up from where he was standing near the kitchen, "Actually the ceremony will be in the Raven tonight at seven. I announced we are closed today for a private function. You are more then welcome to attend. I had offered to give the bride away, but if you would prefer?"

Janus glanced at his daughter, her eyes shining and realized that he could take his rightful place as her father for this one time, prophecy be dammed. He was her father, and this would make his daughter happy. "I'll be there." He said simply, then he leaned over with his fatherly face and gave his daughter a kiss before opening a portal and heading elsewhere. If there was going to be an actual wedding between his daughter and his champion, then there were things he needed to do, and people he needed to see.

Bast came back in without Maahes a short time later, looking around she asked, "Where did Janus go?"

"He left. He didn't say where he was going, but he said he'd give me away at the service, instead of LaCroix." Cat answered, while still watching the dance of sparks along Xander's side. Most of the damage had already vanished, and it looked like the wound was healing normally now, for Xander at least.

"Well I sent Maahes away on some errands. You had said the ceremony would be at seven, right?"

LaCroix nodded. Bast looked at the rapidly vanishing wound on Xander's side before taking the vampire by the arm and leading him out of the apartment saying, "Well we have a few hours to prepare. I think there will be a few more guests you will need to accommodate. At least eight, but likely a few more if word of this gets out. Figure on" her words cut off as the door closed behind them.

Zeke looked down at Cat and realized he was the only one other than herself and Xander still left in the room. "Uh, Cat, I'm, uh, I'm gonna go down and take a nap in the RV. Then I'm gonna head, uh, head over to the mall and get a suit for the wedding."

Cat looked up and smiled, "I think I can make you one, Xander shouldn't mind, as long as it's not a design from here seems to be his rule. But go ahead and get some more rest. You look tired, and I want you fresh and alert for our wedding."

Zeke nodded and backed out of the apartment, closing the door behind himself, before heading down the hall and out the door towards the alley.

The blackness finally faded and Xander woke up.

The first thing he notices was the most beautiful woman in the world. Her hair was a mess, and there were tear stains and blotches of blood on her face, but to Xander she was the most wonderful sight ever. "Heh" he said softly.

Cat smiled down at him then leaned forward and gave him a sideways kiss. Breaking it she straightened up a bit and smiled back at him. "Heh yourself. Don't do that to me again."

Xander scrunched his face in confusion, "Do what?"

Cat stroked his face and replied, "Die, and not get better. I want you around and not as a dead corpse. I want my Xander to be a fully functional living Xander. I will accept no substitutes."

Xander smiled up at her then moved to sit up. "Ok, I'll try,"

Cat grinned at that and leaned forward as he turned himself around so he was now facing her as they sat on the floor. She leaned forward and kissed him again, this time for so long he was feeling the lack of oxygen when they finally broke apart. "Wow. I'll try a lot if I get kisses like that." Xander said after gulping a few lungsfull of air.

Xander stood and reached down to help Cat to her feet. Spying the ring on the table he reached over and picked it up. "Um, Cat?" he began.

"Yes." She said.

"Um, I had this speech I worked out yesterday." He continued.

"I said yes." Cat said.

"Um, I practiced it over and over, but for the life of me I can't even remember the first word of it." Xander explained while fiddling with the box.

"And I told you I said yes. Now shut up and kiss me again, then you can give me the ring." Cat said, lifting his face so he was looking her in the eyes.

She kissed him until his vision started swimming again, then let him go once more and looked at him smiling.

"Uh." Xander elegantly enunciated with great intelligence and held out the box to her.

"Yes. I will gladly marry you, Xander Harris." Cat said, taking the ring from the box and slipping it on her finger, noting with pleased surprise that it was a perfect fit without her having to make any adjustments to it.

She leaned over and kissed him a third time. Finally letting him go she smiled as he sank into a chair at the kitchen table, the empty box still held in his hand.

Cat smiled and sat on his lap, arm around his neck and admired the engagement ring on her finger. "I love you Xander Harris, and never doubt it." She said softly, giving him another quick kiss.

"I love you too, Cat." Xander replied looking into her eyes.

"I know that now, and I'll never doubt it again." She said believing the words to her very soul.

"Say, Cat?" Xander asked.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"Uh, don't take this the wrong way, but, uh, I smell burnt bacon. You didn't try and cook breakfast again did you?"

Cat just laughed and kissed her fiancé and soon to be husband once more.

To be continued in Part 17, "Nuptuials"


	17. Knight Errant Part 17 – Nuptuals

Part 17, Nuptials.

The sun had just set as Buffy made her way through Shady Hills on her way back to school to check in with Giles before her nightly patrol. In her hand is one of her most precious mementoes, the last stake made for her by her lost friend Xander Harris.

She was a bit over half way through the cemetery when her spidy-sense went off the charts, as a seven foot muscle-bound figure stepped into her path out of thin air.

As he stepped forward towards her into the light, Buffy stopped herself short, recognizing the face if not the body of the figure before her. Buffy clenched the stake tighter in grip, and confronted the figure, "Principal Snyder.I always thought you were a Demon."

The demon scowled at her, and replied with Snyder's trademarked sneer, saying, "I'm not your principal Snyder. You are Buffy Summers, are you not?"

Buffy looked up at him and shook her head, " Well you certainly look like Snyder, and you feel like the most mega-demon I've ever encountered." Suddenly she kicked at the Demon, who swiftly dodged her attack. "Even the Master felt like a pipsqueek compared to you."

The Snyder Demon stepped back away from her and said calmly, "I am not here to fight you Buffy Summers. I am on a mission from my Mother."

Launching another roundhouse kick at the Snider Demon again, Buffy said, "Well just hold still and you won't have to fight, I'll just slay you and move on." The demon danced gracefully out of the way of her kick again, and Buffy asked him, "Are you sure you aren't related to my principal? If you are then I can slay him too."

Apparently deciding to grant Buffy her wish, the Snyder demon suddenly stopped moving and simply stood there as Buffy proceeded to kick him several times to no effect. Finally, as she started trying some kick-punch combos he spoke again, "You can not harm me Buffy Summers. I am a God. You are a Mortal."

Her hands and feet failing to have any effect, she pulls Xander's Big Point from her belt, and rams it into his chest, only to have the stake shatter painfully into splinters of wood, failing to even penetrate his jacket, let alone his skin. Buffy bounced back from the recoil of her failed attack, and landed on her butt on the ground. As she sat there looking at the remains of the shattered stake, Buffy fought back tears, while the Demon spoke again in that same calm voice, "Take me to your Watcher, Rupert Giles and I will explain my purpose here."

She looks up at the demon now towering above her and said with an unintentional pout, "That was the last stake Xander made me."

The Snyder Demon looked at her a bit sympathetically and answered her, "Perhaps he will make you another one."

Unwilling to part with the remnants of the ruined stake, Buffy slipped them into her pocket and moved to get up, telling the demon, "Xander's gone. Dead, or in Hell. We're not sure which."

The Snyder Demon smiled at her for a change and said, "No he's not. And that's why I'm here. My mother sent me to transport yourself, Willow Rosenburg, Watcher Giles, your Mother, and the rest of Xander's extended family to view his wedding, and attend the reception afterwards, should you so desire."

Buffy froze in her tracks, looking up at the Demon and asked, "Xander's alive? And getting married? Oh my god! We've got to get the gang together. We've got to rescue him! He must have met some horrid demon in hell, and she's brainwashed him."

The Snyder Demon's scowl returned and he practically growled out, "While it's true that he met her in Hell, she's not a demon. She's my sister."

Buffy grabbed the Snyder Demon's closest hand and took off, tugging the large form along behind her as she practically broke into a run towards the school, calling out, "My point exactly. We have to rescue him. He's marrying a girl Snyder Demon!"

Cat led Xander out of the apartment a short while later. She had decided it would be ok to vaporize and replace carpet and furniture in the living room, while Xander changed into new clothes in the bedroom, so as he emerged freshly scrubbed and dressed, he looked around the showroom fresh living room and shook his head in wonder, "Well, I guess I won't have to cough up a cleaning fee after all. Thanks, Cat."

Cat beamed at Xander and said, "You're welcome." She then bounced up and gave him a quick kiss. "Xander, I was talking to Zeke, while you were, uh, still dead, and he mentioned he's going to be your Best Man."

"Oh, yea, uh, would it be ok if Urs was your maid of honor?" Xander asked, remembering. "LaCroix has agreed to give you away."

Cat grinned and shook her head, "No, my Father is going to give me away. He told me so himself."

Xander blinked at that, "I thought you didn't know who your father was?"

"Mom told me. While you were dead." Cat replied.

"So, who is he?" Xander asked, trying to run a quick rogues gallery of all the male Egyptian deities through his head.

Cat grinned slyly and said, "You're gonna have to wait, it'll be a surprise."

Xander frowned, thinking he and surprises hadn't exactly been the best companions lately, but decided to let it go rather than push the issue at the moment.

Cat decided to retake the initiative in the conversation, returning to her original thread, "Anyhow, about Zeke, he's going to need a suit for the wedding. And I want a suit for you something like the one I had you in last night, that looked so nice on you. That's ok, isn't it?"

Xander nodded and told her "Cat, I told you before, it's not my call what you do or don't do, unless it's for me, specifically. If you feel it's right, then it's right. Morality isn't necessarily objective, it is subjective in many ways, and if you ever feel uncomfortable about anything I or anyone else asks you to do something you don't feel comfortable doing, you shouldn't do it. No matter what someone else says about how it's ok. Unless they can convince you to feel better about it, whatever it is, you should decline."

Cat nodded and said, "Well, I feel good about making some proper clothes for our wedding. Both for Zeke and for you. Me too."

"Then that's what I want you to do." Xander said, bending down to give her a kiss.

As he straightened up she smiled at him, "You know my Mom is busy talking to LaCroix about the wedding plans, don't you?"

Xander hadn't been aware of that, "LaCroix was asleep when I asked him about you. I hope she didn't disturb him."

Cat shook her head, "No, she didn't disturb him, your fight with my brother did that. Especially the part where Zeke shot him."

"Brother? Wait, you mean Lion-Boy-Snyder was your brother?" Xander asked.

"Maahes. God of War and Protection, the Leonine Lord of Slaughter, one of the fiercest fighters amongst the Gods, and you almost beat him. I am so proud of you for that. But I would have been rather upset had you actually killed him. Not that I didn't almost do so myself when I found out what he'd done to you." Cat answered.

"Wow. I knew he was tough, but still. Wow." Xander replied, stunned, as they headed out the door to find Zeke.

Giles looked up as the doors burst open to admit Buffy, who was dragging a bemused looking seven foot tall Principal Snyder behind her. "Oh good lord!" he murmured, wondering what the hellmouth had done this time.

Willow's attention had also been drawn to the door as she sat with her boyfriend Oz studying, and upon seeing the super-sized Snyder she leapt back from the table with a frantic "Eep!"

Buffy released the giant Snyder and excitedly yelled out, "Giles! Xander met some demon in hell, and now he's going to marry her. And look, I have proof Snyder is a demon. Can I slay him now?"

Giles pulled his glasses off and started nervously cleaning them as he asked his slayer, "Whatever are you going on about, Buffy? And who is this, er, gentleman?"

Leaping forward and ignoring the huge Snyder in the doorway, Willow grabbed Buffy and started babbling "Oh-my-god-Buffy-Xander-met-a-demon-and-wants-to-marry-her? That's-great-I-mean-not-so-great-about-the-marying-a-demon-thing-but-that-means-he's-alive-and-we-can-always-save-him-from-the-demon-wedding-but-even-if-we-can't-a-married-Xander-is-better-than-a-dead-Xander-and-I've-missed-him-so-bad-where-is-he-I-have-to-see-him-I-want-to-tell-him-so-much-and..."

Buffy reached out and gently grasped Willow by the shoulders, teling her, "Willow, breath. Better, hold your breath, you're doing that babble thing, remember how you asked me to help you when you start with the babbling?" At Willow's nod she went on, "Well you're doing it now, and now you have me doing it too!"

The giant Snyder looked around the room before speaking to Giles, "I believe we also need Amy Madison, Jonathan Levinson, Buffy Summers's mother Joyce, Cordelia Chase, and your affianced, Janna Kalderash. They are all invited to the wedding as well."

Giles looked up sharply from his glasses in shock and asked, "We-wedding? Xander is really marrying a demon? Where?"

Oz finally reacted to the scene, simply widening his eyes a bit and saying "Woah."

The oversized Snyder glared at Buffy as he corrected and answered, "She's not a demon. And in Toronto."

Willow suddenly pulled herself from Buffy's grasp and dodged around her friend to accost the Snyder, asking "Toronto? How-did-Xander-get-to-Toronto-and-what-is-he-doing-there? How-long-has-he-been-there-and-why-didn't-he-call?"

The seven foot Snyder took a moment as Willow gulped more air to interject, "My sister took him there when they escaped from Hell, getting married, and about three or four days, and it's not the Toronto here and now, it's another Toronto, and he's in 1995."

Giles was so shocked he dropped his glasses while uttering yet another "Good Lord." Meanwhile Buffy scrunched up her face and asked, "How's he in 1995? Wasn't that like, four years ago?"

At the same time, Oz simply blinked and said, "Cool.", while Willow started bouncing up and down and resumed her babble even faster,"Ooh-alternate-universe-and-time-travel-I-guess-thats-an-excuse-for-not-picking-up-thephone-the-toll-charges-would-be-astrinomical-but-why-is-he-marrying-your-sister-demon-or-not?"

The huge Snyder tried to explain, saying, "It's an alternate Toronto. Apparently he had some affinity for it. No one's really explained that part to me yet, I just know where he is."

Buffy took the moment of silence to ask the Snyder Demon, "But you are going to take us there, so we can save him?"

Yhe demon shook his head, replying, "No. I'm going to take you and the rest of his adopted family there as a gift to him and his wife to make up for my actions earlier today, and even that only if you agree to a few rules."

Giles was bending over to pick up his glasses from the floor as he asked, "Rules?"

The monster Snyder replied, "First, you will not interact with Xander at all until after the ceremony. There has been enough interference in this matter, apparently from none other than the devil, Lucifer himself, and I will not abide by you attempting to disrupt things further. Second, you may not accost, injure, or attempt in any way to slay any of the other guests at the wedding or the reception afterwards. Third, you must be dressed accordingly, bearing appropriate gifts, and be present here in six and a half hours so that I may transport you in time for the ceremony."

Giles dropped his glasses again as he asked in a rather high pitched voice, "Lucifer? Wanted to stop the wedding? Why?"

The Snyder smirked as he replied, "Apparently he really doesn't like Xander."

Buffy however had been processing something more important to her perspective, and turning to Willow she called out, "Appropriate dress and gifts? Oh my god! We have to hit the Mall. NOW, before it closes! Giles, oh crap, your car is so slow we'd still be on our way there when we need to be back here. Call my mom, Cordelia, and Jenny. Let 'em know what's going on. Willow, we need to get moving like now, we have less than two hours before they close. Oz, you're driving, then you're on gift-duty while Willow and I find some nice dresses or something."

Oz stood and walked over to follow Buffy out of the library with a simple, "Ok."

Willow grabbed her bag off the table and dashed after Buffy, rushing past Oz and babbling once more, "Oh-god-what-will-we-be-able-to-get-on-such-short-notice-do-you-think-sears-will" she was cut off abruptly as the door snicked closed behind the three.

Giles having once more retrieved his glasses from the floor turned to the seven foot Snyder and asked, "So, Mrs. Summers, Ms. Calendar, Miss Madison, Miss Chase, and Mr, Levenson are also invited?"

The large man nodded as he replied, "As long as they meet my conditions and are present here in four hours. I shall take my leave, for while bringing you should bring my future brother in law joy, and make amends for my actions it is not enough to qualify as an appropriate gift for my only sister and the man she has chosen to spend eternity with."

As he aid this he also turned towards the door, but vanished several feet short of it into a spinning blue ovid which flashed briefly in and out of existence.

Giles who had picked up the phone to start making calls dropped it nervelessly to the desk as he fell into a chair with yet another, "Good lord!

Xander got back into Zeke's RV where it sat in the Mall parking lot much deeper in debt, especially deep considering that this is not even his native reality, and the only collateral he had to finance the pair of rings was his word, backed by familiarity with LaCroix.

The jeweler recommended was an associate of the elder vampire's, the family of the owner having been indebted to the vampire for several generations in one way or another.

This didn't make the young appearing man happy with his newly indebted status, but it was a debt he was more than willing to accept if it meant Cat would be happy. He would accept a lot to make Cat happy.

But he was still troubled by the fact that even with the ridiculous tips he had been earning every night at the Raven he would need several months to pay off the rings. And there was no assurance that such tips would continue once the novelty of himself and Cat wore off from the local vampire population. Not only that, but he really wanted to find his way back home, and the thought of remaining here in Toronto for several months, or longer, just to pay off his debts wasn't one he looked forward to. He really missed his friends back home, and wondered at the changes the last several years had wrought in their lives.

Had Oz and Willow married? What about Jonathan and Amy, had they ever fully "clicked" as a couple? Had Cordelia continued her journey towards being more of a caring person, eschewing her Queen Bitch title and high school popularity after graduating? Had Giles and Ms. Calendar continued to see one another, and if so, how had their relationship fared? And most troubling of all, how was Buffy? It was funny in a way, the same time in his life that he lost one of his two best friends since forever to the darkness, Buffy Summers had come into it, not to take Jessie's place, but managing all the same to stabilize his life and fill a gap which may have proved crippling without her presence in his life at that time.. At one time he had thought he had loved her. Of course, he later realized that what he had felt was simple lust, a lust which was more than burned out after she sexy-danced him just to make Angel jealous that one humiliating night in the Bronze. But over time his feelings for her, which had almost been shattered by her actions that evening had regrown, and she had indeed become one of his closest friends.

After all this time, he had to believe she still lived. He simply could no longer picture Sunnydale with out Buffy there. She had become the light against the darkness, and his mind and heart could not accept the logic a small part of him produced, which claimed that she would almost certainly have died once more in the past twenty years. It was that yearning to silence the part of his heart which felt it should be mourning her loss which drove him more than anything to return to his home. To prove that against all the odds, that Buffy had survived the past twenty-odd years of his absence.

Idly he wondered if should he return to the Sunnydale of his birth, and there get a job, would it be proper to bring the cash from that one to this one to pay his new debt, or would that be as bad as simply having Cat zap up some cash to cover the cost?

He supposed that once he had managed to find his way "home" he could always stay here, working for LaCroix, for as long as the elder vampire wanted him, and simply portal back and forth to visit his friends. That way he could continue to pay the debt with "real" money.

Shaking his head he dismissed the thoughts, instead opening the door to the RV and stepping inside to stare at the re-dressed Zeke as he stepped out of the tiny bathroom at the rear of the vehicle, dressed in his new clothes for the wedding that evening. "Wow, Zeke, you clean up nicely. You've really got that Bond look going, and not the Bail Bond look for a change, either."

Zeke grinned and tugged at the vest under his jacket, and said, "I've never had a custom made suite before, it's kinda nice. Thanks Cat."

Cat grinned and replied, "It was nothing, just consider it a thank-you from us for your assistance in the wedding."

"Well, it's not like it'll be all that big a deal, I mean what, there'll be the three of us, and maybe now your family, and perhaps a few vampires there, right?"

Cat looked speculative, "I'm not sure. My mother was certainly talking to LaCroix a lot before we left, there may be more than a few of Mom's and Janus's friends there, as well as the locals. It may end up being bigger than you expect."

Xander shrugged, "Ok, so perhaps twenty or so. Not an issue. Especially since they're all friends and family." Suddenly his thoughts flashed back to what he had been contemplating on his walk through the parking lot. "I kinda wish my family could be here too. Not my blood family, other than Uncle Rory they're all a waste, but my friends from Sunnydale, assuming they're all still alive. It's funny, but after all these years I still miss them more than I would have thought possible."

Cat smiled sadly and gave him a forceful hug, "We'll find the way to your home, and we can have a second wedding just for them. Maybe I'll surprise you one day and tell you the wedding is in a few hours, like you did me. How's that?"

Xander shrugged and kissed her, "I'm sorry I didn't mention it earlier. I wanted to ask you in a romantic setting, have everything perfect for you. Not have you find out from other people while I laid dead on the floor at your feet. I'm sorry."

Cat grinned, "It's ok, just don't do that to me again."

Zeke slid into the driver's seat, then turned to look back at the couple, "Well, take a seat, let's get you two back so you can start getting yourselves all cleaned up."

Xander had a thoughtful expression on his face as he interjected, "Actually, it's still early afternoon, we have enough time to make a brief stop at the precinct station, I want to invite the Doctor and Detective Vetter personally, especially because I want Nick to talk to Tracy about his, condition. I can't believe she's worked with him this long without realizing he's a vampire. Hopefully if they're both at the wedding it'll sort of force the issue."

Zeke glanced back through the rearview mirror and asked, "I thought that vampires weren't supposed to reveal themselves to people? Some sort of code of secrecy or something?"

Xander nodded, "That's the rule, but Tracy already knows about vampires. Vachon revealed himself to her months ago, and found she's one of those few who, like Dr. Lambert, are immune to the hypnotic powers of most vampires. They call those they can't effect resisters. So, she already knows about the Community, and has helped to conceal it already on more than one occasion. Knowing a few more vampires, especially Nick, for what they are shouldn't present a problem, in fact it should help resolve some. Hopefully including preventing her death next month. I'm almost tempted to tell Vachon or LaCroix to bring her across, just so she won't die when she gets shot. If things are still on that course at that time I probably will, because it was the loss of his partner which resulted on Nick's loosing control with Nat, and her death as well which pushed Nick over the edge, so he demanded LaCroix finally end him once and for all. If I can spare Lucien going through the pain of killing his own child, at that child's own request, I will. Even if it means forcing Tracy and Nat to contemplate an offer I myself would likely decline."

"But I thought you didn't have a problem with these vampires, as opposed to the purely demonic ones you have back where you came from?" Zeke asked, honestly confused.

"I don't, not really. But that doesn't mean I would want anyone forced into an eternal liquid diet if they don't want it. I mean, there is always the option for a vampire of taking a sunrise stroll along the beach, or in the middle of a golf course, but to be forced into suicide is likely a worse fate than a simple death would be. But I'm hoping that if Nick knows about what will happen to Tracy, and no longer has to hide what he is from her, that events will unwind differently, and no one will have to face a change of diet rather than death."

"Ok. So we invite the cop and the coroner, and have LaCroix invite Nick, and somehow this will get them talking?" Zeke asked.

"Oh come on, How can one continue to maintain a façade of ignorance when you see each other at the wedding of a Goddess and her semi-vampiric husband?" Xander asked with a lopsided grin.

The station was busy in the early afternoon, but a trip to the morgue resulted in an easy invite to Nat, as well as the retrieval of the Dragon's claw from her clutches.

Nat was babbling worthy of Willow as she went on about the unusual properties of the claw. "so then I took a closer look at the bone, it can't be natural. I mean, long-chain carbon fibers are something you need a lab to make, yet they are wound throughout the structure, strengthening it while adding very little weight. But the most amazing thing was the cutting surface on the inside edge."

"What? The claw looks like it's made of mother-of-pearl or something." Zeke said lifting the sharp appendage to admire the shimmer of color along it's blade like shape.

"Well the majority of the outer surface is formica, like the chitin shell on an insect, but this shiny part here, the really sharp part." Nat said, pointing but carefully not touching the gleaming inner ridge, "It is a natural cutting edge. When backed by the strength of the bone, with enough force this carbide edge could go through steel. And from what I remember of that dragon, he had plenty of force to apply. I don't know how he kept it so sharp, but it sees to be extruded almost like a fingernail along this edge here."

"That's nice, Nat. But back to the issue, Cat and I are getting married tonight. At the Raven. And we want you and Tracy to come."

Nat looked up alarmed, "To the Raven? But there are" she trailed off, "With Tracy?"

Xander nodded, "She knows about vampires, Nat. Just not about Nick, yet. I want to change that, now. Before something happens. Tracy should know, not having to worry about Nick getting shot for example could save her life, especially if Nick didn't have to try and hide what he was. It could make that critical bit of difference, you know? That bit which puts her in her own bed at dawn, instead of on your table here."

Nat looked shocked, but nodded, "Ok. So what time, and how am I supposed to get Tracy there when she should be working?"

"Tracy's job will be easy, we're going to swing by the captain, let him know that Smitz has been dealt with, and tell him to let Tracy take the evening off for an important social function, we just won't tell him exactly what function it is."

Nat nodded, "And then you want me to make sure she not only shows up, but talks to Nick. In the Raven. About vampires. The enforcers are going to come after her, and probably me as well if I do that."

Xander shook his head, "No. The enforcers won't even blink an eye. Trust me, I'll see to that part myself, let them know you are both under Cat's and my protection."

Nat looked confused at him and asked, "And why should they care?"

Xander just grinned at her as Cat giggled. "Ask Nick. In front of Tracy. That ought to do it."

Nat didn't understand, but she nodded her acquiescence anyhow as Xander, Zeke, and Cat turned and headed out the door, taking the dragon's claw with them.

Xander followed Cat up the steps to their apartment, passing by LaCroix's on the way where they heard voices within discussing something.

As Zeke, still dressed sharply in his new suit followed Xander and Cat into the living room, he pulled the door closed behind himself, muting the apparent three way conversation from the other apartment down the hall to inaudibility. "That can't be good." He commented, setting the Dragon Claw carefully on the coffee table before sinking into the couch with a sigh.

"That was Mom and Unc, er, my Dad. I think Mom was excited about something." Cat answered, picking the claw up off the table and turning towards the bedroom with it. "Xander, honey, I have an idea. Can I see you in here for a minute?"

Xander dropped the Twinkie box he had in his hand, retaining two individually wrapped snack cakes as he followed his wife to be into the bedroom, leaving Zeke alone on the couch in his suit.

In the bedroom, Xander looked at Cat in curiosity as she gazed down at the Dragon Claw in her hands. "What is it, Cat?" he asked, moving up to give her a hug from behind and peer over her shoulder at the shimmering colors playing across the surface of the claw.

"I was thinking. There is an old custom, followed still by my people, where a prospective husband gifts something unique to the father of the bride. Of course, since we are able to pretty much create anything we can think of, what that usually consists of is memento or relic of emotional or historical significance, as opposed to cattle or gold or something more common which would be the case in a human society."

Xander nodded, then thought on the significance of her words, "No." he said simply.

Cat looked up alarmed at his sudden vehemence. "What?"

"No, I am not giving up Kusanagi as a bride-price. First, from what you told me she is more than just a sword, she is sentient, and treating her like that would be like treating her as a slave. You said she is perfectly able to leave me when she wants, so as long as she'll have me, I won't betray her that way, not even for your family."

Cat looked over her shoulder at him confused, "I wasn't talking about Kusanagi, you're right, it would demean her to give her like a trinket."

Xander shook his head, "Then what were you talking about? Other than Kusanagi and the rags I was wearing when we escaped, a knife and a few genuine trinkets, I don't have anything I could give, certainly nothing of even a remotely equivalent value to your own."

Cat grinned and lifted the claw, "So not true, dear. You have an actual Dragon Claw, from a LIVING dragon. Do you know how rare it is to have a claw without the dragon to which it belongs either dead or still attached to it?"

Xander shook his head, "No, not really, there aren't a whole lot of dragons where I come from, thankfully."

Cat grinned, "Well, it's rare. Think back to the dragon we got this from, and picture how hard it would be to even kill it and take one of it's claws. Now try to figure a way to take a claw without killing it, because that is what makes this so valuable."

Xander was confused, "Shoot it with a really big trank gun or use gas to drug it and cut the claw off?"

Cat blinked at him "Ok, perhaps not as hard, but no one that I know of has ever tried to put a dragon to sleep to steal one of it's claws."

"So, they are hard to get." Xander agreed.

"Dead claws are hard to get. But this claw isn't dead. Look, where Dr. Lambert scraped it to study the tissues, it's almost healed." Cat explained, indicating a slightly discolored area near the base of the claw. Holding it up a bit so the light glinted off the sharp inner edge of carbide she continued, "I bet the cutting edge is still growing as well. This claw is still a part of the dragon, and this dragon is still alive. Which makes this claw unique as far as I know."

Xander suddenly smiled behind her, "Which makes it a worthy gift in exchange for you, 'cause you are pretty unique as well."

Cat nodded. "It does. But I'd like your permission to modify it a bit. As it is, it almost looks like a sword, although a bit thick, and of course not made of metal. I'm thinking I create a handle for it, and a scabbard, creating a Dragon Blade, only this one a living Dragon Blade."

"What's a dragon blade?" Xander asked.

"Dragon Blades are weapons created from dragons, usually their claws, which are equipped with a grip. They start out preternaturally sharp, and can kill almost anything. The edges tend to dull over the years though, and eventually they loose their effectiveness as weapons, but a Dragon Blade can even kill a god. Technically, Kusanagi is a Dragon Blade, having been made from a dragon, but there was quite a bit more to her creation than just cutting the claw off a dead dragon and adding a handle to it." Cat explained.

"And this one would be different how?" Xander asked.

"If I'm right, and the carbide is still being replaced, then this one won't loose it's edge unless someone kills the dragon. In other words, this would make a Dragon Blade which could conceivably never wear out. But even a standard Dragon Blade would be a more than worthy gift amongst my people." Cat answered.

"But wouldn't that be because of some harrowing story of heroic battle which laid behind it? I mean, 'I leapt through a portal and the dragon poked his claw in after me to see if he could skewer me, then the portal closed and it got cut off.' isn't all that heroic, ya know?" Xander whined.

Cat grinned and turned around to kiss him, "And why were you flying through the portal just ahead of the claw, and what was Kusanagi doing in your hand as you spun to face the portal and dodged the claw? I thought it was heroic, and so did Nat I bet. Don't put yourself down. But seriously, is it ok with you if we give your shiny dragon claw away? If this ceremony is as popular as I think it may be, it would go quite a ways towards raising your status amongst those present if you offered such a gift. I bet speculation will explode on how you acquired the claw, and by the time it gets back to us the story will be far more interesting than standing around watching a closing portal cut it off."

Xander shrugged, "Heh, I don't really have any use for it, I just thought I'd hang it on the wall or something, it is really shiny and cool looking."

Cat smiled, "I promise we'll find something just as shiny and cool looking to hang on a wall. Ok?"

Xander grinned back at her and stole a kiss before agreeing, "Ok."

Zeke watched as Xander walked back out of the bedroom, sans Cat or Twinkies. "So, you ready for the big event in a few hours?" he asked his friend.

Xander shrugged and said, "Is anyone ever ready for their wedding? I mean a part of me is screaming 'Run Xander, run!' but then I think about Cat, and the rest of me clubs it into submission until it is a blubbering mass of pain. But still even as a blubbery mass of pain it manages to conjure at least one or two new butterflies inside my stomach every hour or so. Eventually I'm gonna start thinking about cutting myself open just to let them out so I can get on with the wedding. I mean, it was my idea in the first place, I'm the one who thought that if I was going to be married to Cat, I'd make sure to do it right."

"Well, I remember I had much the same feeling before my wedding, so that's probably normal." Zeke offered, as he climbed to his feet from the couch. "And another thing I remember from my wedding was hunger. I had forgotten to eat any real food that day, and by the time of the reception, I scarffed the cake mostly because it was my first food of the day."

"Well I've snacked on a few Twinkies, so I should be ok, besides, I'm not really hungry." Xander replied.

Zeke shrugged, then headed towards the door, "Well, I am. So I'll go rustle up some grub for myself, and see you in a while."

Xander watched Zeke leave, and had turned towards the bedroom to check on how Cat was coming on adding a handle to the dragon claw, when an unfortunately familiar voice spoke from behind him, "Mister Harris. I hear congratulations are in order."

Faster than even a preternaturally sharp eye could track, Xander had spun around, drawing Kusanagi and hacking out in a strike which should have decapitated the devil standing behind him in his living room.

Unfortunately, Lucifer had moved back and raised his hands in defense at Xander's sudden movement, so all he accomplished was to slice cleanly through the devil's right wrist, cleanly severing the hand which tumbled bloodlessly to the floor as Lucifer watched

"If you wanted me to give you a hand, Alexander, all you needed to do was ask." The devil said wryly as he shook his wrist, regenerating his missing appendage. "I take it you are upset with me about something?"

"Lucifer, what are you doing here?" Xander growled, Kusanagi held at the ready for another attack.

"Well, you are keeping my agent from his job of tracking down his next target. I figured the least you could do was invite me to the shindig." The devil replied with a smile.

"After what you told Cat? It seems to me like you did your best to prevent the wedding." Xander said, moving a bit closer so he could insure his next swing would connect with the devil's neck.

"Hey, I didn't lie to her, I never lie. All I said was that it was a shame you couldn't love her the way she loves you. She's a goddess, you aren't. It is impossible for you to love her the same way, unless you somehow became a goddess too. That might be interesting, come to think of it." Lucifer said, getting a far away look in his eyes for a moment.

Xander took the moment and launched another swipe at Lucifer's neck.

Cat came in through the bedroom door carrying the newly crafted Dragon Blade even as the devil's head toppled forward off his neck, his body falling backwards as the head rolled past Xander.

It flashed back into the living room at a high speed, Cat apparently having given it a soccer style kick towards the front door, which it bounced off with a "Thunk" before sailing back into the living room to land on the floor and roll up to bump gently against the devil's still, headless body.

"She shoots, and she scores" Xander said mirthlessly as he turned to look at his soon-to-be-wife.

"That felt good. You know, his head in a box might be a nice gift instead." Cat speculated, looking at the unmoving, and also unbleeding form on the floor.

Xander paused to consider, "Wouldn't the devil's head be a rather, tasteless gift? And shouldn't it be on a silver platter, not in a box? Although I suppose we could place it on a platter, in a box. Perhaps with one of those plastic windows so people can see what's inside without having to actually open the box."

Cat giggled at the idea, while the body on the floor started to move. "I'm still here, you know" the decapitated devil said with annoyance.

Xander spun back around to look at the detached head, which had opened it's eyes and was now staring back at him from it's odd, almost upside-down position on the floor by it's body.

"Darn. It didn't take." Xander muttered sadly.

"It never does." His beloved told him as she gave him a gentle hug to assuage his disappointment at failing to permanently kill the devil.

"Still here." The devil reminded them.

"Shut up." Xander growled at the head, before looking back at his bride, "Can you make the box soundproof?"

Cat was just setting the newly manifested display box with the mutely shouting head inside it on the kitchen table when the annoyingly familiar voice spoke from the doorway of the apartment once more, "What are you doing with my brother's head on a serving platter in a box?"

Xander and Cat turned to take in the same face as that on the boxed head affixed to a man in a light colored suit, standing beside Bast and Janus in the doorway to the apartment.

Even before he had time to process the thought, Kusanagi was once more in his hand and he was literally flying across the room like a guided missile targeted on the devil in the doorway.

Suddenly however, his flight was brought up short, as Kusanagi abruptly ceased all forward motion, wrenching Xander painfully to a stop in midair.

"Ouch" Xander muttered, before looking with a hurt expression at his suddenly frozen blade, then from it back to the figure he had been preparing to attack, and once more to the stubbornly immobile weapon. It was only after a few moments that he noticed one other point of difference between the head in the box and the figure before him, other than the state of bodily intactness, that being the feeling of power rolling off the form, it was as diametrically opposed to that radiating from the boxed head as that of good and evil. In fact, it was good verses evil. Xander locked eyes with the new arrival and asked, "Um, who are you?"

The figure grimaced and replied, "Michael, but my friends can call me Mike. My boss sent me here as his representative for your wedding."

Xander tried pulling Kusanagi away from the figure, to re-sheathe the blade, and found it once more willing to move. "Boss?" Xander asked, sliding Kusanagi into the sheath on his back once more.

Cat spoke up from behind him, "The Creator, Xander. Hi Uncle Mike!" she called out, rushing around her still confused fiancé to give the new arrival a solid hug.

"Hey kiddo. I hear you are going by 'Cat' these days? I must say it suits you." Mike said giving her a hug in return.

Cat grinned up at him, then looked over at Xander and seeing his continuing confusion explained, "Uncle Mike is an archangel. He works directly for the Creator. Lucifer is his twin brother, who also works for the Creator, despite differences of opinion."

"And what is his head doing in a box?" Mike asked once more, gesturing at the still shouting head.

"Well, he pissed me off." Xander said, as though that explained everything.

"Xander recommended the box. It's sound proof. He had me put a window in it so no one would have to open it to see what was inside. I think it's kind of cool. I'm thinking about keeping it on the coffee table as a conversation piece."

Mike shook his head at that, "I don't think Lucifer would like being a centerpiece of a table."

Cat shrugged, "It's not like it'd be an inconvenience for him, after all he can always make another one."

Bast finally spoke up, "But Cat, dear, you can't just keep the devil's head in a box. It might go bad. And it is somewhat rude."

Cat's expression suddenly changed to one of cold fury, "He tried to get between Xander and me. Trust me, he should be happy we settle for rude."

Xander was looking at the mutely shouting head again speculatively, "I wonder what would happen if we put an ant farm in there?"

Cat grinned and tossed a glance over her shoulder at Xander, even as the devil's head suddenly stopped it's silent yelling, freezing in mid-shout, only the movement of it's eyes betraying it's still animated status.

Bast blinked at Xander's comment, then turned to her daughter with a sudden smile replacing the crumbling façade of sternness she had been trying to project, "I like him."

Mike scratched his head thoughtfully, "I suppose there are worse fates than having a head of yours stuck in a box. I wasn't aware he had intruded into your relationship. He should have known better. Probably hasn't been reading his messages again."

Xander's confusion came back, "Messages?"

Mike nodded, "Some time ago, a memo was sent out marking both of you as 'hands off', meaning no one was supposed to interfere with you in any way. And that would go for my brother and his immediate associates as well as myself and mine. We all answer to the same boss, whether we like it," he spared the box another glance, "or not."

"Ok, hands-off from interference. How's that work with my being Janus's Champion?" he asked, suddenly realizing his patron deity was actually in the room in the flesh so to speak, his warrior's face showing at the moment.

"It doesn't. As long as I don't try to tell you and Cat what to do, at least. But then again, I wasn't one of those who got the memo. Perhaps it wasn't as wide-spread as you think, Mike?"

Mike shrugged, "Perhaps. Though why The Boss would tell once side to leave someone alone, and not the other I have no idea. But The Lord works in mysterious ways at times. But that brings me back to my presence here. Xander, Cat, would you be amenable to my performing the marriage for you two this evening?"

Cat looked at her mother, "I thought Imhotep would?" she trailed off as Bast nodded.

"He will, dear. They'd both do it together, Imhotep representing our culture, and Mike more or less representing Xander's. If that's ok with the two of you. Lucien and I have been hammering out details all afternoon, and we think we've figured everything out. All we need is your approval." Bast responded.

Cat looked at Xander for guidance, and he shrugged, saying "I don't mind. As long as it makes Cat happy, and I don't have to dance around a fire naked in public or eat a living snake or anything. Isn't Imhotep an evil priest though?"

Cat shook her head, "Imhotep is the high priest of Mom's faith on the world where it is the dominant religion. He is a descendant of the historical Imhotep who you are probably thinking of, the engineer and scientist who pretty much invented the pyramid, modern medicine, and on that world set up Egypt as a world-spanning empire, long before the Romans managed to establish themselves as any sort of empirical power."

Xander shrugged, "As long as he's not some evil priest who wants to sacrifice babies or something, it'll be fine. I guess."

"Not an evil priest, and overawed at the moment at the prospect of officiating at the wedding of his Goddess's daughter." Mike replied,. "So it should be fine. Do you want to go downstairs and walk through the ceremony, so everyone knows what to expect?"

Xander shrugged, and as a group they turned and trudged out of the apartment, leaving the door slightly ajar as they headed down the inside stairs to the club below.

A few minutes later, Zeke returned, still dressed in his suit, carrying a bag bags filled with a few Subway sandwiches, one of which he hoped to get Xander to eat.

Pushing open the not-quite closed door, he looked into the living room, only to lock gazes with the eyes of his erstwhile boss glaring at him from inside a box on the kitchen table.

He looked down to see the unmoving body and extra hand still laying on the floor before the counter, then looked back into the eyes of the now yelling head.

The bag of sandwiches fell to the floor, wrapped sandwiches spilling out unnoticed as Zeke collapsed into a fit of laughter at seeing the devil's head, literally on a silver platter.

"So then the two of you will come up here, sit in these seats, and the Elders will join the two of you symbolically before the witnesses. At that point they will each retire to their side, and Imhotep and I will take over. You will bind yourselves to one another, then Xander will give Cat the ring, We'll each pronounce you wed under our separate authorities, and that's about it."

Xander looked over at Cat, then looked back at Mike and Imhotep, "Um, question. Cat said something about it being traditional to present a token to the family in exchange for the gift of the bride. Where would we do that, in this version of the ceremony?"

Eyebrows raised, as Bast asked, "Why would you want to do that?" she glanced at Janus who nodded, before continuing, "You are already essentially one of the Family, Xander. The gifting is more for someone who is not a member yet. As Janus's champion, you need not do so."

"I understand that, but we want to do this. Cat explained the cultural significance to me, and while I know there isn't anything I could possibly give you which would mean as much as Cat does to me, I want to try and honor the tradition."

Bast and Imhotep huddled with Janus for a moment, then Bast shrugged, "When you first reach the podium, you can give the gift to Cat's father. As long as it isn't Lucifer's head. While I appreciate the vengeance of keeping him in a box for what he tried to do with you and Cat, I don't want it cluttering my home. And a Bride Gift is supposed to be placed in an honored place for display. I am not about to place Lucifer's head in such a location."

Xander and Cat exchanged glances, then Xander shrugged and said, "Coffee table it is then." Looking back at Bast, he asked, "So when will Cat's father show up?"

Janus turned his fatherly face towards Xander and softly spoke to his Champion, "I'm already here, Xander."

Xander just gaped at Janus for a while, his mouth working as soundlessly as that of the boxed head upstairs, as he did a credible impression of a feeding fish.

Lucifer's head had been pushed off to the side of the counter, where it glared out across the wood grain surface, as Zeke sat at the counter happily eating a sandwich when Xander, Cat, Bast, Imhotep, LaCroix, Janus, and Mike came filing back in to the apartment.

"Hey Xander, why's Lucifer's head in a box on your table?" Zeke asked, gesturing at the head which had resumed it's silent yelling as soon as the people started coming into the room.

"He pissed me off. I decided I wanted a souvenir." Xander explained.

"You know he'll just manifest again, don't you?" Zeke asked.

"Yeah, I know. But this way he'll also have a good reason to remember not to piss me off again. Cat and I are thinking coffee table decoration."

Zeke chuckled, "I suppose a devil head would make an interesting sort of abstract art."

"Yep. Good thing we soundproofed the box. Of course, he can hear what's going on outside, the soundproofing is just one way."

"So you're gonna let the devil listen in on you from now on?" Zeke asked with a shudder.

"Like he couldn't anyhow?" Xander asked with a shrug.

"Yeah, but it's one thing to listen in remotely, it's another to do so there in person, so to speak." Zeke queried.

"Yeah, well, I still think we're keeping the head." Xander replied with a shrug.

Spotting Mike, Zeke waved, "Mike?" he asked.

"Hello Ezekiel. I hear you've been doing a good job chasing down my brother's wayward charges."

Zeke shrugged, "Got two this week, with Xander's and Cat's help. Only have another twenty seven left. Then I'm a free man."

"Unless he is once more remanded to my custody, dear brother. Don't forget, Ezekiel, your freedom is only an opportunity to redress the balance, if you fail to take advantage of it, I will have you back, and you will regret it. Assuming, that is, that you ever manage to get back to your job and catch the other twenty seven escapees." Lucifer said, his body having vanished from the floor at some point, and now a fully reconstituted devil stood in the doorway, despite the continuing presence of his head in the box on the counter. He looked at his other head and shook the one which was properly attached, "Really, Alexander. I was hoping we could get along politely in the future."

Xander looked at Lucifer as he came to stand behind Mike, then glanced at Cat who nodded at him softly. "Oh, we'll get along all right. But I'm serious about keeping the head. It will be a reminder to you that everything has consequences. A point you are so fond of reminding others of, I believe. Heck, to show what a good sport I am, I'll even invite you to the wedding. As long as you promise to do nothing to interfere with myself or Cat or any of our family in the future. On your word."

Lucifer looked like he had just eaten a lemon but eventually he nodded, "On my word I promise to take no actions which will interfere with you, Cat, or your family. I can't speak for my associates however, but I will even go so far as to promise never to give them any instructions to meddle in your lives or those of your family members."

Xander realized that there were more holes in the promise than in a slice of swiss cheese, but he extended his hand, "Truce then."

Lucifer took it, and there was a brief flash of power as he spoke as well, binding himself before the witnesses present, "Truce."

"On that note, I think the happy couple needs to get ready for the ceremony." Zeke pointed out, "We've got a wedding in two hours."

LaCroix, already dressed for the occasion nodded, "I shall head down stairs to finish preparing the staff and begin greeting the guests which should begin arriving shortly. I shall see you all later."

Xander turned to Cat, "You wanted to whip something up for me to wear? Will it be more traditional, or contemporary?"

Cat looked at her mother, then back at Xander, "Contemporary. Like I had you dressed last night. That way all the women can be properly jealous of me."

"Too bad you couldn't wear the same little black number you did last night as well. While I don't know about the women, I do know that every guy would be drooling so badly LaCroix wouldn't need any liquid to mop the floors afterwards."

"Eau." Cat said, scrunching her nose, then she smiled secretly, "But while I'm not going to wear a black dress for my wedding, I think I can whip something up. First though, I need to get you ready, then I can take care of myself."

Cat then led Xander out of the living room away from the rest, closing the bedroom door securely behind themselves for a last little bit of privacy before the start of the genuine spectacle their wedding looked to be.

Buffy glared at the Snyder Demon as she stood with her Mom and her friends in the bar he had brought them to through the shiny disk thingy.

"So, where's Xander. We need to rescue him from the Demon before it's too late. And are you sure I can't slay some of these vampires? A few of them feel really old and evil."

"No, Ms. Summers, you can not slay the other wedding guests, and as I have told you repeatedly now, Xander is not marrying a demon. He is marrying my sister. No rescuing is needed."

Buffy looked around the gathering crowd, tugging on her not-quite fitting new dress as she tried to identify all the threats setting off her slaydar. It was such a target rich environment that she finally just gave up and tried to ignore the screaming warning senses.

Ox was staring at a funny looking skinny dog, which was sitting nearby with some black bird crouched on a chair beside it.

The Snyder Demon paused to talk to some dark skinned woman who had appeared through the crowd to speak with him, the other guests parting like water before the bow of a ship to let her pass.

After a short conversation, the Snyder Demon finally said, "Yes Mother. It shall be as you command. Please give my best wishes to my sister and Alexander."

Buffy's head locked on the woman at the mention of Xander's full name. Marching over to the Snyder Demon, she demanded, "Who was that?"

Her mother came up and placed a calming hand on her shoulder as the demon replied, "That was my Mother, Bast."

Giles who had collected himself from openly gawking at several figures in the room uttered a muffled "Good lord" and started cleaning his glasses.

Buffy turned to her watcher, her friends gathered around as she asked, "Who or what is Bast? She was pretty wigsome on the monster meter, if you know what I mean."

No one noticed as the Snyder Demon slipped away towards the bar as Giles explained, "Bast, was, er is, a goddess from the Egyptian pantheon. She was the goddess of protection, a daughter of Ra, and was known for her ferocity when opposed by enemies, and her protectiveness over those under her care."

A new voice spoke from the side, as a slender looking man who smelt strongly of perfume walled up, "Sounds like mother. My younger half-brother said asked me to pass these out to you, don't drink them yet, they're for a toast. I'm Nefertem, by the way. Solar god of Alchemy and perfume.", he explained while handing everyone in the small group a glass of some sort of fruit juice. "You should be honored. Mother asked me to make this for you. Mortals generally don't get to sample Ambrosia, not even as a juice."

Giles almost dropped the glass at that point, and after a quick glance around at his young charges, then over at his fiancé and Mrs. Summers, he asked, "This is actual Ambrosia? From the deific fruit?"

Nefertem smiled, "It's an extract, actually. Perfectly safe, better than safe, in fact. One of the reasons Mortals aren't allowed to sample it is that it has several restorative qualities, a mortal who's had enough of this would never die. Even a little bit will heal any diseases or injuries almost immediately. But this is my only sister's wedding, and even though I haven't yet met the groom, I hear you are his family, which makes you practically family as well, and family takes care of each other. But like I said, don't drink it yet, wait for the toast."

Giles gazed down at the pink-yellow fruit juice in his glass, and asked, "How is Alexander?"

Nefertem shrugged, "I'm not sure. I hear more stories about that young man than anyone else I can recall. I heard that he and my half-brother got into a fight because the devil did something. Not sure what, but my brother killed Alexander. Which can't be right, because I also heard that Alexander chopped Lucifer up and put him in a box or ate him for lunch or something. And I heard that after I heard my brother killed him. And of course., there's the whole wedding thing, which wouldn't be happening if the groom was dead, I don't think. I also heard he was a vampire, but also that he was one of Raiden's get, which is impossible because Raden's children can't become vampires, since they really only die by decapitation, and that would kill a vampire as well."

A voice spoke from beside them, a dark eyed young woman who's presence screamed 'Vampire' to Buffy spoke up, "Pardon mois. My name is Janette, and I know from my brother that somehow this Alexander is related to my family. LaCroix, who owns this club is our Sire. I am not sure as to how LaCroix is related to him though, as I have heard from other sources that he is not a vampire, but is as far removed from us as we are from mortal humans."

Buffy nodded, "Halloween last year, Xander got changed by a spell, we all did, in my town, only in his case it stuck.."

Willow suddenly looked at the woman before them and her eyes bugged out. "Oh-my-god! You-you-are-Jeanette-DuCharme. You're-Nick's-vampire-sister. In-the-TV-show-you-and-Nick-were-sired-by-Lucien-LaCroix-the-same-vampire-who-bit-Xander-on-haloween! But-you're-just-on-TV. How-can-you-be-here-with-us! Are-we-on-TV? Oh-my-god-Xender-got-himself-stuck-in-the-TV-like-in-Poltergiest-no-wonder-we-couldn't-find-him-with-a-locater-spell-and-thought-he-was-dead. How-do-we-get-out-of-the-TV-to-go-home? Oh-and-what-if-someone-changes-the-channel-while-we're-in-here-do-we-get-changed-too-or-just-don't-notice? I'm-so-sorry-about-Nick's-death. He-was-kind-of-cute-not-that-Ooh-I'm-babbeling-again-I'll-shut-up-now."

Janette just looked at the redheaded girl before her, trying to figure out what she had said. Something about TV, and Nichola, and being sorry he was dead. She looked across the bar and caught her brother's eye He looked up from where he seemed trapped uncomfortably between that Doctor Lambert of his, and some blonde she thought was his new police partner, and another vampire, Vachon.

She looked back at the now quiet redhead and said softly as she gestured across the room, "Nichola is still alive"

Willow followed her gesture and suddenly her eyes bugged out and she uttered a brief "Eep" then murmured something about the Prime Directive and hid behind a young man with green hair.

Buffy looked speculative, then turned to Nefertem and asked, "I think I heard something about this being the past, is that right?"

Nefertem shook his head, "This is a past. Not your past, but a different one from where you belong. If you change something here, it won't effect your universe, if that's what you are worried about. Even a god can't go into the actual past. I'm not even sure the Creator could do so without breaking something. I'll have to ask next time I..", his voice trailed off as he wandered away, the cloyingly strong odor from his perfume fading as he left.

"So you are friends of the Groom I take it?" Janette asked Joyce.

"Yes. Xander's." Joyce nodded.

"So, are you gods, or mortals or what?" Janette prompted.

Joyce looked apprehensive, but Buffy stepped forward and replied, "I'm Buffy Summers. The Vampire Slayer."

Janette started laughing, "No you're not. You're too short. I saw the movie, and she's a lot taller than you are, young lady."

Buffy's free hand shot out, and without so much as spilling a drop of the juice in the glass in her other hand, she lifted Janette off the ground with one hand. "I am not short." Buffy growled.

Janette's eyes widened at the sudden display of strength from the small blonde before her. "Ok, you're not short. Pardone Mois. I meant no offence, it's just that when you said you were the Vampire Slayer, I thought about the movie, and well, you know."

Buffy lowered the apologizing vampires to the floor, remembering her promise not to slay any of the other guests. "Sorry. I just don't like being called short, or being laughed at by a vampire."

Before Jeanette could reply, a drumming noise started up throughout the room, piped via the sound system from a small group of musicians who had gathered towards the front of the room, off to the side of a huge marble stage, inlaid with gold and gems, and bearing a pair of almost ostentatious golden thrones with velvet seats. Buffy had wondered if there was a King and Queen expected for some reason when she had first seen it.

The door at the back of the club opened, the one leading to the back offices or something, and a bunch of girls dressed almost like harem dancers started coming out, with matching young men, equally scantily clad, and just as handsome in a dark arabic way as the women were beautiful. They pushed their way into the crowd, which parted for them, as they formed up, spacing themselves several feet apart from one another, the men and women alternating, and slowly carving out what looked like a winding corridor through the crowd, but only a short part of it came close enough to Buffy for her to really see it. But for some reason once the dancers had cleared the area, the other guests stayed out of it, leaving what looked like a winding path, defined by the solitary dancers.\

The waiting crowd grew expectantly silent,

The apparent path through the crowd had finally reached the open area before the stage, perhaps sixty dancers, about thirty men and thirty women marking the route.

A man in archaic looking clothing stepped into the cleared pathway. His golden ceremonial headdress had a cat head fashioned on it.

Giles murmured softly to the group around him, "I believe that is a priest of Bast."

The apparent priest was followed by several armed men, dressed again in what looked like ceremonially archaic egyptian clothing, and carrying golden tipped spears and bearing gold washed swords, with cat effigies carved into the hilts.

After the soldiers came a man in a simple white robe, his very presence causing the several vampires and few demons in the group to cringe back in actual pain from his presence.

"Who's the guy in the robe?" Buffy asked her watcher.

"I have no idea." Giles replied.

"He is very holy." Janette hissed from Buffy's other side.

"How do you know?" Buffy asked.

"You know a cross burns a vampire?" She asked, her teeth clenched.

"Yeah. So does Holy Water. Works on you like acid." Buffy replied.

"Well just looking at him causes my eyes to burn and water. Even a cross has less effect. I fear what his touch would do to one of us."

Buffy looked at the man in the white robe with new respect, suddenly having a weird idea. "Uh, Giles?" she asked.

"Yes Buffy?" her watcher replied, exasperation already forming for her coming question.

"Um, that never-tease-'em guy said Xander was in a fight with Lucifer, who is like the devil, right?"

"Yes Buffy, I also believe the being you keep calling a Snyder Demon alluded to as much as well." Giles answered, not understanding where Buffy's logic was leading her.

"Well, if he's like fighting the devil himself, could he possibly be in with the good guys? I mean like the really good guys? If he's fighting Satan, could he be hanging with Jesus or something?" Buffy asked, indicating the man giving the vampires problems by his mere presence in the room.

Giles suddenly looked speculatively at the figure in white, then dismissed the concept, "Possibly, but I doubt if Jesus Christ would come to Xander's wedding, no matter who he is fighting against."

Another pair of figures emerged from the doorway, one a grizzled old looking warrior type, and beside him on his left was the same woman they had seen briefly earlier, Bast.

"Oh dear lord." Giles murmered.

"What is it, Rupert?" Joyce asked.

"That man to Bast's right, he looks like one of the portraits of a face of Janus."

"Janus like Xander's boss?" Buffy asked. "The guy who made him all championy and stuff?"

"Yes. Quite." Giles answered.

But at that moment the entire room, including the Scoobies were struck dumb as the actual couple came in through the door.

Xander cleaned up nice.

And his demon was apparently a total hottie.

All thoughts of rescuing their friend from some horrid demoness were forgotten as they took in the countenance of their missing friend.

Xander was dressed in a black suit, one which was cut so perfectly for him that he looked like he had just stepped out of a James Bond film.

On his back he carried a scabbard which held some sort of slightly curved sword. And it looked perfectly normal on him, even at his wedding. Once they saw him with it, it was suddenly impossible for any of the group of friends to picture Xander without the blade, it fit him so perfectly.

And in some way so did the petite but curvy blonde at his side. She was cute, if one word was to be used to describe her.

In her shape hugging white gown, the material sweeping out until it barely kissed the floor, seeming to float with her every movement. Her long light blonde hair sparkled with strands of red and gold under the lights of the club, while her large green eyes almost seemed to glow with joy, once the group saw her with Xander, it was just like the sword, it was almost impossible to picture him without this girl, whoever she was. She certainly bore no resemblance, save perhaps in height, to Principal Snyder.

Another pair of people came through the door, a man in a suit similar to Xander's, and another blonde, although this one taller, who was carrying a small bouquet of flowers.

A final figure stepped through the door, closing it behind himself, and he followed the last pair several steps behind, and carried a box in his arms.

As he passed, the previously more or less stationary dancers fell into a milling mass behind him, which swirled as the crowd re-occupied the space previously taken up by the winding path as it was freed once more.

Buffy watched as the group proceeded through the crowd along their path, moving at a slow and stately walk to the beating of the drums.

The group finally made it to the front, and the priest immediately ascended the steps onto the platform, standing to the left of the thrones.

The solders split up, half taking up guard positions on the dance floor to the left of the platform, and the other half to the right.

The man in the robe then also ascended the steps, taking up a flanking position on the far right of the thrones.

Bast, and the man who accompanied her took up positions now at the base of the platform, one to either side of the steps.

Buffy noticed that somehow the face of the man had changed at some point when she wasn't looking, and now looked not like that of a grizzled warrior, but rather that of a proud father, as he watched the couple approach him along the pathway.

At the base of the stairs, the couple paused, and Xander looked back at the older man carrying the box, who stepped through the couple behind them and opened the box for Xander, holding the lid so Xander was free to reach inside and draw something out.

Xander pulled a gleaming golden sheath with what looked like a sword handle sticking out of the end from the box, murmurs suddenly chasing themselves around the crowd at this unexpected action.

Pulling some sort of gleaming whitish sword from the sheath, Xander turned to the man on his right and said in a loud, clear voice, "Lord Janus, as a token of my gratitude for the gift I am receiving from you and your family, I would like to present you with this. It is a Dragon Blade, crafted by my bride from the claw of a living dragon I recently acquired. We give it to you and yours to show how deeply I appreciate the gift of my bride."

Giles murmured a "Good Lord" while Buffy looked greedily at the blade. She wasn't sure what exactly a Dragon Blade was, but she knew she wanted one. It was both shiny and sharp, two things she liked.

Janus bowed as he took the shimmering blade from Xander's hand, and waving it under the lights of the room so everyone could appreciate the scintillating colors playing off its surface, slid it slowly back into it's golden scabbard, before clipping the scabbard to his own belt.

Bast gave Xander a polite and deferential bow of respect, followed by a short but tight hug, after which she stepped to the side, clearing the way to the steps.

Janus turned to Xander, and offered him an arm as he climbed the stairs, where Xander then seated himself in the right hand throne.

The blonde approached Janus then and he gave her a tight hug followed by a chaste kiss on the cheek, before letting her go. The girl turned next to Bast, who also gave her a solid hug, then, as Janus had done for Xander, helped the girl up the steps, where she seated herself in the other throne on Xander's left.

Janus and Bast then climbed the stairs, Janus first, and moving to stand before the girl, while Bast climbed second, and positioned herself before Xander.

The other blonde and the man who had been following Xander made their way to opposite sides of the dance floor, the girl on the left, and the man on the right, and the dancers moved as well, segregating themselves by gender also, so the female dancers were to the left, and the males to the right.

Bast reached out and took Xander's right hand, as Janus lifted the blonde's left, and as one they brought the couples hands together, until Xander and Cat were holding hands. Janus and Bast then released the hands and stepped back, turning to face the crowd.

Janus and Bast linked arms together at the head of the stairs, each lifting a glass of some sort of juice, and Janus turned his fatherly face towards the crowd before speaking, "Let us raise a toast to the health and happiness of this couple. I ask all of those gathered here today to join us in giving this pair their blessings and wishes for a happy future filled with much joy and little sorrow."

As one everyone in the room, including the Scoobies, lifted their glasses into the air and drank a toast to the couple, power of some sort seeming to vibrate through the very air, leaving Buffy more than a bit stunned even as the juice seemed to shoot through her system energizing her in ways she had never experienced before. She looked to the sides and saw her friends and Mother smiling as well as they lowered their own empty glasses.

Up on the platform, Janus and Bast had descended the stairs together, at which point Janus went to stand with the other men to the right, while Bast joined the women on the left.

The drums ceased suddenly and Bast's priest stepped forward, to stand before the couple. He then bowed to them before turning his back on them and facing the crowd. "Today we are gathered to witness the joining of two into one."

The man in the white robe then stepped forward, not bowing, but coming to stand beside the priest as he also spoke, his voice booming out far more clearly then the priest's ever could despite the relatively lower volume employed, "We are here to witness the joining of Alexander Harris, and she who is now known as Cat, the only daughter of he Elder Gods Bast and Janus."

Giles murmured another "Good lord" while Buffy looked at a joyously crying Willow, "Not a demon, right?" she asked softly for reassurance.

Joyce wiped her own eyes as Willow shook her head, "Goddess." She said softly while wiping her eyes again.

Up on the stage, the priest and the man in the robe had turned to the couple seated holding hands. Bast's priest spoke first, asking, "Daughter of Bast, do you willingly bind yourself for all eternity to Alexander Harris? To share in his triumphs and his tribulations, to partake of his joys and his sorrows until the two of you are both no more?"

Cat released Xander's hand with a final squeeze, and stood from the chair before replying in a soft, yet clear and confident voice, "Yes, I do."

The man in the robe then addressed Xander, "Alexander Harris, to you willingly bind yourself to the being you know as Cat, the daughter of Bast for all eternity, to share in her triumphs and tribulations, to partake of her joys and sorrows until the two of you are both no more?"

Xander visibly took a deep breath and stands "I do."

The man in the robe smiled at him and exchanged a glance with the priest. "I believe there is a ring?"

The man who had been following Xander stepped forward and reached a box past the robed man towards Xander from just off to the side of the steps at the front of the platform.

Xander took a ring from the box, which the man then withdrew and closed with a soft "Snap" sound as he moved back to his position next to Janus.

Xander turned to Cat and extended the shining white gold ring, "My darling Cat, I offer you this ring as a symbol of my love. Please take it as you have already taken my heart."

Cat smiled and held out her hand so Xander could slide the ring onto her finger.

She then reached out and plucked a ring herself literally from nowhere, and said to Xander, "Xander my love, I offer you this ring as a symbol of my devotion. Please take it and keep it as you have already taken my heart as well."

Xander, surprised, nonetheless offered his hand to her, and she slipped the ring onto his own finger.

The priest and his companion in the white robe then smiled at the couple.

The priest spoke, "Let it be henceforth known by all the followers of Bast that these two are married, wed for all eternity, may they know unending joy and happiness together."

The priest then stepped down and moved over to stand beside his Goddess.

The man in the white robe then spoke, his soft voice once more echoingly clear throughout the building, "In the eyes of my Lord, these two are indeed married for all eternity. I have been told that the Creator has so spoken, and thus it is true." A murmur circulated around the room at that apparently unusual statement, and the man stepped back, leaving the couple standing together as he descended the steps. As he backed down to the floor he spoke once more, a bit more softly, "Go ahead, kiss your bride."

As the two kissed one another applause broke out from all around, Buffy jumping up and down screaming as tears ran down her own face at seeing her best male friend so obviously happy.

Finally, Xander and Cat broke apart, and sat back down on the thrones. Soft music now started coming from the musicians as the gathered crowd once more started milling about, the ceremony apparently finished.

"That was quite, unique." Giles said, looking around the room at the other guests who had started mingling once more.

Buffy looked back at the platform and watched with a happy smile as Xander looked at his wife as he sat to her left, his hand in hers, a dazed smile glowing on his face, and echoed on hers. Buffy could tell that to the couple, they were alone in the universe, and she was happy for them. And maybe a little jealous. Just a little bit.

Buffy was ready to start pushing through the crowd to find Xander when she noticed the man in the Robe making his way directly towards them.

She pointed at him and said, "Uh, Giles, Jesus is coming over here."

Giles looked up to see the man in the white robe approaching, the vampires literally leaping out of his way to avoid contact, the other beings simply moving aside, but no one actually remained in his path long enough for him to actually approach them, and it really did look like he was coming to them.

And indeed he did, stopping just before the group, which once more included the Snyder Demon as well as well as the vampire Jeannette, who had remained with them throughout the ceremony, from drinking what Buffy believed to have been a glass of blood during the toast, through on through the final kiss, and had yet to move away, although she started to as the man approached.

He looked at her however and she froze in place as he said softly, "Jeanette, please wait a moment."

Turning to the rest of the group he said, "Please excuse me for a moment."

He then turned to none of them, but instead to an open area between Buffy and her mother, and crouched down on a knee, addressing the vacancy as though it was a person.

"Hey there Dawn.", he said, while the Scoobies looked on in confusion.

"Why are you crying so sadly? It's a wedding, you 're supposed to be happy."

He paused a moment, as though listening to a reply before going on, "I know you always thought he was supposed to be yours, but think about it, he's a lot older than you are right now, and Cat will make him happy. You want Xander to be happy, don't you?"

He nodded and reached out as though wiping a face a bit. "You know you are a lovely, sweet, girl, and both your Mother and your sister Buffy have good reasons to be so proud of you. Xander would be lucky to have you some day, but that day is not for a while yet."

He seemed like he was listening again, then he shrugged, "I don't know, no one can know the actual future, not even the Creator, although in that case it's by choice, but still, there is no certainty as long as there is free will. But I can tell you this, you will find someone one of these days, and if, in twenty years or so you still haven't had any success, you can always talk to Cat."

He paused a moment then laughed as though at some odd statement, "No, Cat is a very good person. Xander is very lucky to have found her, and her him. No, what I meant was that in Cat's culture it is not unknown for a man to have more than one wife. But it is the choice of the senior wife if any junior wife is even to be considered."

He laughed again, then smiled as he said, "Well, I don't know if Cat would be willing to share either, but you could at least ask, if you are still as interested, in twenty years or so. But first, you really should try to find someone a bit closer to your own age. I have to tell you, while he's only been gone for a short time to you, it's been over twenty years for him."

The Scoobies started murmuring at this, as well as at the stranger's odd behavior of talking to empty space.

"No, it was worse, I'm afraid. Until he met Cat, he was literally in Hell. Devil and all. I'm sure one of these days he'll tell you some of the stories. But what I'm getting at is he's not just a seventeen year old boy to your thirteen years, which would be bad enough in your culture."

He paused again, "I know it's not fair, but then again, life isn't a game, so fair doesn't figure into it. What is is, and the secret to life is to accept what you have to, fix what you can, and enjoy everything else."

He smiled again at an apparent reply, then said, "Good. Now, why don't you have Jeanette take you to the restroom and get yourself cleaned up before Xander comes over and sees you. I need to talk to everyone else for a bit anyhow, so they don't think I'm ignoring them, ok?"

Nodding he turned to Jeanette, and said, "I trust you remember where the private bathroom is?"

At Jeanette's affronted look he grinned, then looked down at the empty spot once more, "Yes, I know she's a vampire, but she's got her soul, like Angel, and trust e, she'd die before she ever let a child come to herm in her presence."

He nodded again, "Ok. I'll see you later."

His eyes widened suddenly and he answered, "You're right! I'm Mike."

"Ok, Bye", he answered, glancing at Jeanette, who moved off through the crowd, wondering why she was leading no one to the private bathroom.

Turning to the rest of the group, he said, "Sorry about that. I know that looked odd, but I had to talk to her and send her away, otherwise she'd remember being ignored as well as having to watch her first crush get married."

Joyce spoke up, "Who were you talking to?"

The man, Mike, smiled. "Your daughter, a young girl named Dawn, who doesn't exist yet. But she will, and when she does it will be as though she has always been."

"I'll have a sister?" Buffy asked, her expression not quite settled on happy or sad at the idea, more confused than anything.

"You will, and at the time it will seem like she was here today. And by my very nature, the magic which will be used to backfill her existence, so to speak can't alter her or your memories of what I do or say, so it was important for her that I talk to her, then send her away so that she doesn't feel ignored on a day which she will remember as both one of the best and the worst of her life. Learning that Xander was still alive, and that he was getting married, but not to her. Being ignored would just reinforce the bad vibes. Now however, she should have some happy memories of today. And that brings up something else I should mention. When she does show up, because of who and what they are, Cat and Xander won't be effected by the backfill spell, so they won't know who she is or where she came from. You all need to remember that the first time any of you see Xander or Cat looking at Dawn as though they don't know who she is, that you send them to me immediately, so I can fill them in."

"Who, exactly are you?" Giles asked.

Buffy was confused as well, having been sure he was Jesus, but then he called himself Mike when talking to her sister who didn't exist, yet?

"I am the archangel Michael. But you can call me Mike. Cat has always called me her Uncle Mike." Mike explained.

"Good lord." Giles said, once more removing his glasses to polish them.

"Anyhow, I'm glad Bast invited you, Xander will be much happier to see you are here, I think that your absence was his only regret today before the ceremony." Mike concluded. Now I need to go and stop my brother from talking a particularly foolish vampire into straying any further from the path than she already has."

And on that note, Mike turned and headed back into the crowd, making his way towards another man, this one dressed in a dark, rumpled looking suit, who bore a striking resemblance to the departing angel.

Up on the podium, Xander's brain finally made a connection.

Ever since he had entered the club for the ceremony he had been sensing several familiar scents, smells which made him feel comfortable and happy, but which he hadn't actually identified. But now his ears also heard a vague hint of a familiar voice, and as his eyes scanned the crowd he caught sight of a group of people. People he hadn't seen in over twenty years.

Softly he said the names, "Wills? Buffy? Oh wow!" Xander leapt to his feet and launched himself through the air towards the Scoobies.

Cat turned her head to see her new husband take off like a shot, and rose to her feet, taking a more mundane route across the club to the group her husband had just tackled.

Buffy looked up just in time to see Xander literally flying through the air over everyone's heads straight at her.

Taking a step back she brought her arms up reflexively even as Xander's hurtling form crashed into her, almost knocking her to the floor. "Buffy!" he yelled out, joy shining on his face. "You're still alive! I missed you guys so much!"

Buffy felt the crushing power of his enthusiastic hug, only her Slayer Strength allowing her to withstand it without damage. "Ungh, Gotta breathe, Xan." she gasped out, even as she hugged him back with enough force of her own to almost crack a rib.

Finally, Xander let Buffy go and grabbed Willow in another hug, his wondering eyes taking in Joyce, Giles, Jenny, Cordelia, Amy, Jonathan, and Oz. "Uh, how did you get here?"

Buffy pouting cutely as she replied. "We were brought by the Snyder Demon. He told us we couldn't kill any of the vampires or other demons or other guests though."

As Xander released Willow, she started to babble. "Xander-you're-alive-and-not-in-hell-and-I-never-thought-I'd-see-you-again-and-everyone-said-you-saved-us-and-then-you-went-to-hell-and-I-was-all-alone-and-I-missed-you-then-that-demon-guy-said-you-were-getting-married-and-we-could-come-but-had-to-behave-and-couldn't-even-see-you-before-the-cerimony-and-why-were-you-getting-married-anyhow-we're-too-young-and-why-was-the-devil-here-and-an-archangel-presiding-with-an-egyptian-priest?"

Maahes came up behind Xander, and smiling at him said, "Consider it a combination wedding present and apology for earlier."

Cat meanwhile had arrived at his side, having made her way through the guests to join her husband. Gesturing at her, Xander said "Uh, guys, this is my lovely new wife, Cat, also referred commonly in historical literature only as 'Bast's Daughter' apparently. The 'Snyder Demon' as Buffy called him is actually Cat's oldest brother, Maahes, also known as the God of War and Protection, and The Leonine Lord of Slaughter. Cat, these are my friends from Sunnydale."

Giles's glasses snapped in his hands, and with a final utterance of "Good Lord!" he fell to the floor, unconscious.

Maahes reached out and swiftly caught the librarian before he could hit the floor, as he replied, "Technically. I suppose so."

Xander was still trying to accommodate his mind to not only the presence of the Scoobies, but also the fact that only a few weeks had passed for them, as opposed to the years which he had spent in Hell. Somehow this was a harder concept to grasp than being in an earlier time in another universe than his own. As Giles had explained it, once he had awakened, time in various dimensions flows at different speeds. Furthermore, the cross-connects, such as the portals hell mouths, dimensional gates, or various other ways of transporting things and people across realities don't always line up chronologically. It is actually possible to leave someplace, travel across several realities, and return before you ever left. Only Maahes corrected him at that point, explaining that while you could, the when to which you returned would not be the when from which you had actually departed, because your arrival would nudge the universe in which you arrived away from the one which you departed. In you wanted to actually return to an exact when which you had visited you had to do so after your visit, and before it branched, or visit one of the subsequent branches.

It was enough to give Xander a headache. So much so that he was more than a bit annoyed, when LaCroix took the stage, holding a mike, and had the house lights dimmed somewhat so as to gather the attendee's attention.

"Fellow guests, I thank you for your attendance here today at Alexander and Cat's wedding. I know several of you have journeyed here from around the world, or even further in some cases. To those of you who share my, heritage, I hope you will remember to be as circumspect in any disclosures about the events today as you would about your nature to the average person you met on the street. I would also ask that you not allow yourselves to be troubled by the handful of mortals present this evening, as they are all either not native to our world, or, like Dr. Lambert who provided the cure for the virus which was plaguing us last year, have been of a direct assistance to the community, and have received special exemptions from the Enforcers after careful review."

Xander looked across the hall and caught Nick's eyes, as Nick glanced between Tracy and Nat, before looking back up at his Sire.

LaCroix had continued on shifting topics with only the slightest pause, "But the real reason I interrupted you at this time was that I figured it was time for some of us here to present Alexander and Cat with a final round of good wishes before they leave on their honeymoon, which they will have to depart for within the next hour if they are to make their flight to Las Vegas, and not have to take, alternative transportation."

Cat looked at Xander and asked "Las Vegas?"

Xander shrugged, "First I've heard about it. I guess it's a gift from LaCroix or one of your family."

A glance at Maahes received just a shrug, so Xander turned his attention back to LaCroix. "All I know is when I asked if you had plans my Mother told me you didn't yet, but it was being taken care of."

Xander grinned, and said, "I suppose we'll have to ask LaCroix then, since he seems to know what our plans are."

Cat shrugged, "I suppose so."

"So Xan, I guess if you're doing the whole honeymoon thing, you won't be coming home with us. Will you be back right afterwards?" Buffy asked, putting a friendly arm around her friend.

Cat looked up at Buffy and coughed lightly. When this didn't attract the Slayer's attention, she reached out and tapped Buffy on the offending arm wrapped possessively around her new husband. When Buffy looked over at her, she glared pointedly at said arm, and raised an eyebrow. Buffy simply blinked at her, as though not understanding Cat's attempt at silent communication.

Xander meanwhile was answering his friend, "Well, Cat and I've been trying to get back to my home since we left Hell. Her first try got us here, her second found a universe where the Highlander type Immortals seem to be real, and wanting my head, and we haven't tried a third just yet."

"Well, her brother Mass seemed able to get there, so what's her problem?" Buffy asked.

"It's Maahes, and I got there because my Father told me where it was. He also told me I can not tell Cat, or take Xander there. Something about a journey he still needs to finish or something." Maahes answered.

"So Janus won't let you go home now?" Buffy asked, Willow looking up suddenly and coming over from where she was examining the labels on the several boxes of wedding gifts.

"Xander, did you know you have a gift from 'Lucifer, Lord of Light and Hell'? I thought he didn't like you, what is he doing giving you a wedding gift?" Willow asked, joining them.

"Probably thought he had to give us something to go with his head. Perhaps a nice matching box for the hand or something. Say, Willow, could you ask Jenny if a devil's hand has any use like a monkey's paw, because I may still have one laying around, assuming it hasn't wandered off or been picked up yet."

Willow just blinked.

"It's the right hand, if that matters." Xander finished helpfully.

"Oooh-Kay." Buffy said, shaking her head, "I don't think I really want to know."

"What did I hear about Janus won't let you come home?" Willow asked, changing the subject back to what had drawn her attention away from Giles muttering over the names on some of the gifts.

"Well apparently Janus told Maahes here how to get to you guys, but he also forbid him from either taking me there or telling Cat where it is."

Cat shrugged. "I asked when we first got here, and Unc, er Dad told me that the Creator had decreed that Xander had to find his own way home without help. I asked if that meant I wasn't supposed to open portals for him, and was told that no, I could open all the portals I wanted, but no one was able to tell me how to take him home, that I would have to figure it out myself. Which is how we ended up in another wrong place, it was the next best match to here for Xander."

"So this Creator person doesn't want Xander to go back to Sunnydale?" Willow asked.

"No, the Creator merely said that Xander had to find his own way back, not that he couldn't return." Maahes corrected.

"And Janus told me I had to take a journey." Xander added. "And speaking of journeys, I suppose we'd better talk to LaCroix and find out what this Honeymoon plan of ours is."

With that Xander led Cat towards the elder vampire, Buffy and Willow following along behind.

"So let me get this straight," Xander was asking, "You want us to fly to Las Vegas and stay in this new hotel, this Montecristo?"

"Montecito" LaCroix corrected.

"Montecito. Sorry. Anyhow, you want us to stay there during the Grand Opening celebrations and all, for our honeymoon? Can't we just lock ourselves into our room, or go to Hawaii or something normal?" Xander finished.

"I could take us to Las Vegas." Cat offered. "I can open a portal from here to there."

"Part of the package is the VIP flight on the new Montecito Jet. I believe it should afford you the opportunity to join the 'Mile High' club, should you so desire." LaCroix opined.

"So they have a private plane coming to pick us up and take us to stay in their new hotel?" Xander tried to clarify.

"To inaugurate the Honeymoon suite, on your honeymoon, actually." LaCroix explained.

"So we get to break in the Honeymoon suite. Of the Montecristo."

"Mintcasino." Buffy helpfully corrected Xander.

"Yes, and you should be getting in the limo now, if you are to make it on schedule." LaCroix added with a pointed glance at his watch.

"What about clothes?" Xander asked.

"I'm sure whatever you need will be taken care of. Just bill it to the room." LaCroix answered.

Looking over at the table where Giles, Amy, Jonathan, and Cordelia were still playing with the tags, Xander tried another tack, "What about the wedding gifts. We need to thank everyone, and..."

"I am sure your friends, who seem so intrigued by them already would be more than willing to help with that burden before heading back."

Willow responded, "Sure Xander. We can open everything and sort it for you, and write up cute little 'thank you's and everything. Do you want us to take it back to your place with us, or leave it here somewhere. Oh, are you going to move back in with your folks, or were you going to get a place of your own?"

Xander shook his head, "I think we'll keep the place here, for now, assuming LaCroix is still amenable after this little nightmare."

"I told you Alexander, you can stay here as long as you wish. Even if you choose at some point to terminate your employment with me, I am sure we can reach an equitable accommodation regarding the rent." LaCroix answered.

"So since I have a job here, and kind of owe a lot of money for the ring, and to LaCroix here, I think we'll be staying, for now at least. Probably commute to visit, once we find how to get to Sunnydale." Xander answered.

"It's not hard to open a portal, once I know where to open it to." Cat offered. "We could come and visit every day if you wanted."

"See. So we'll probably keep the place here, it'll certainly prevent my folks from coming by to try and borrow money or something." Xander replied.

"That is all very good. Now that that is settled, the limo awaits." LaCroix mentioned again, waving at the front door of the club.

Looking up, Xander and Cat noticed that there was once more a corridor opened up for them, this time a straight one though, leading to the door. With a shrug, Xander allowed LaCroix to move him and Cat down it, Buffy and Willow trailing behind, Joyce and Jenny he noticed were standing by the door. As he approached, Joyce bent forward and gave Xander a motherly hug, and said, "I'm so proud of you, Xander. I almost feel like you're my own son. I'm glad I was able to come today and see your wedding. And Cat seems like a lovely girl. And not just on the outside, where anyone can see. She seems like a good person, and I hope you two are happy together. And if you have any questions, you just ask, ok?"

Xander had to wipe away a tear as he hugged her back, whispering in her ear, "Thanks, Mom."

He stepped back from Mrs. Summers, then offered her a final smile as he turned to Jenny. "Hey there Ms. Calendar. I hear it's going to be Mrs. Giles soon. I hope we can make it to your wedding, to return the courtesy of your coming to ours."

"It was no courtesy, it was a pleasure. I'm glad we were invited. And you and Cat are certainly invited to Rupert's and my wedding. I'll try and get you an invitation, if that Maahes fellow will bring it back when he returns us." Jenny replied, giving Xander a hug as well.

Cat reached out and took Xander's hand, giving him a gentle tug. "I think we need to go." She said, as what sounded like rain started to fall from just outside the door.

Xander waved a final time at his friends and let his new wife tug him out the door towards the waiting limo, as a full blown storm broke loose as if trying to drench them before they could make it to the vehicle. Only it wasn't water falling from the clear night sky, it was grains of wheat. A literal shower of wheat rained down on the couple as they made a quick dash, diving into the open door of the waiting limo. Xander waved a final time as he reached back out to pull the door closed, even as the car pulled out away from the front of the club, and into the traffic, on it's way to the airport.

To be continued in Chapter 18, which will probably be called "Wrong Address"


	18. Knight Errant Part 18 – Wrong Address

Chapter 18, Wrong Address

The brand new Montecito private jet whined as it launched its self down the runway, carrying its cargo of VIP newlyweds to the Grand Opening. None of the crew had any clue what was so special about this pair, but somehow they were getting VIP treatment at a time when a VIP had to be Very Important, as the hotel would be opening that weekend for the first time to a restricted public, made up exclusively of contest winners and celebrities. And this pair of Honeymooners.

Cecelia, the flight attendant arose from her seat as Chuck leveled the plane out, and made her way into the lounge to check on her passengers and see if they wanted more champagne, or something to eat. 

She was a bit surprised to see that somehow while they had been taxiing and taking off, the couple had managed to change clothes, the small blonde changing her flowing white dress for a pair of white pants and a tight pink low-cut top, and her new husband changing his black almost tuxedo like suit for a pair of back jeans and a flashy yellow, blue, red, and green Hawaiian shirt which almost seemed almost painfully loud even in the muted lighting inside the small jet that evening.

Also, she noted that they had managed to fall asleep. They looked so cute together that she couldn't bring herself to disturb them, so she simply removed the empty glasses and retreated to the front of the aircraft once more. She'd check on them later.

Giles carried several boxes as he followed a similarly burdened Willow and Joyce up the inside stairs of the Raven to what he had been told by the Vampire who owned the building was his no longer missing young charge's apartment here in this alternate Toronto of 1995.

He was still trying to accommodate his mind to the concept of an alternate Toronto, one which in his universe was known as a television show, yet which seemed to be entirely real at the moment.

Yet the existence of a reality which matched fiction paled to insignificance when he considered the facts of what he had come to understand of Xander's recent history.

Apparently the young lady he had wed this evening was a Goddess, unnamed in the histories and referred to only as 'Bast's Daughter'.

Bast was a well known Egyptian goddess, ferociously protective of those she saw as her charges, and devastatingly ruthless to those who opposed her. And Xander would have her as a Mother In Law.

His young friend had apparently spent over twenty years literally in Hell, before he managed to escape somehow, finding his way to this alternate universe. And the Creator had specifically decreed he was to make his own way home somehow. What that meant in the larger scheme of things he wasn't sure. He didn't believe he had read any prophecies regarding Xander, but from what he had learned that evening, his new wife had been destined since before her birth to meet some prophesied fate, which her parents had gone to extreme measures in an attempt to shield her from, only to apparently have Xander thwart their efforts without even realizing it.

Her parents. Plural. Apparently Xander's new Father-In-Law was none other than the Roman god Janus. What a Roman god was doing fathering not just one, but two children with an Egyptian goddess he wasn't sure, as he had previously been of the impression that the various pantheons had always remained separate, however that opinion had been sorely disabused this evening as he was certain he had encountered Asian, South American, North American, African, as well as several European gods and goddesses amongst the party goers. He knew he had seen a Coyote and a Raven, a pair of American Indian shamanistic figures at one point in the crowd. He had actually been introduced to Loki, Sekmet, Mercury, Adidas, and a fellow with snake like skin and feathers referred to as Quexaquatal. So why upon entering the young man's apartment he was surprised to see an Archangel's head in a box on the table, he wasn't sure. 

The head was apparently trying to yell at him, its actions demonstrating it's supernatural status.

The vampire caught his gaze and shrugged, "Alexander has the oddest taste."

"I take it that isn't the head of that Michael we met down stairs, the fellow who gave your fellow's such a hard time by his mere presence during the ceremony, is it?" Giles asked, as Buffy leaned over the top of the box, the yelling head looking at her as she studied her slightly distorted reflection off the silver platter laying in the box beneath the head.

"Actually, I think it's from his brother, Lucifer." LaCroix answered.

Buffy looked down and saw a hand crawling along the floor, like Thing from the Adams Family and jumped back from it, reaching for a stake, but remembering at the last moment that after repairing the broken stake Xander had made for her, the Snyder Demon, no, Moo or whatever, had taken it and left it deliberately on the library table, along with her backup stake.

"What's with the Evil Hand?" she asked, moving to stomp it if it attacked.

The hand paused in it's motions, where it had apparently been trying to climb the counter, possibly in an attempt to reach the head in the box on top of it.

"I think Xander cut it off before the head. He said he hadn't been able to find it later, and had assumed either the devil had taken it with the rest of his body, or that it may have been lost under the furniture somewhere in here. Apparently his second option was the correct one. We should either dispose of it or store it more securely until his return." LaCroix answered, looking at the somehow guilty appearing hand as it crouched now on it's fingers, as though awaiting a chance to run for cover.

"Why would he want a severed hand?" Willow asked.

LaCroix shrugged, glancing at the head in the box, "Why would he want the devil's head on a platter. I believe he and his wife were discussing keeping it for a coffee table decoration. And I am not sure they were actually joking."

Buffy looked back at the creepy head which was just watching them now from inside the box, rather than yelling anymore. As she looked away from it, the hand made a dash for the couch at the side of the room, however Buffy managed to move with Slayer speed and stomped it flat halfway there. "Gotchya." She said, grinning down at the wiggling fingers protruding from beneath her shoe. "So Giles, how do we store an evil hand to keep it from escaping?"

Giles just glanced at his fiancé, then back at the hand before shaking his head, removing his glasses, and starting to polish them without comment.

Chuck sent Cecelia back yet again to check on their sleeping passengers as the small jet began its decent to McCarran, the lights of Las Vegas glowing in the early morning darkness, as the eastern sky behind the jet just started to lighten to a dark blue from total blackness.

Cecelia looked in on her charges, noted that they were both still asleep, with their belts fastened, so she returned once more to the front of the plane, and while Chuck talked to Air Traffic Control, Cecelia pulled out the cell phone and placed a call to the hotel, to insure that the limo was waiting for the late arrival of the last VIPs for the Grand Opening Weekend.

They were certainly a cute couple.

Xander woke with a start as the plane's wheels touched the tarmac upon landing.

Cat, who was snuggled up against him on the small loveseat like couch in which they were both belted raised her head from his shoulder and looked blearily at him. "What is it?" she asked.

Xander looked out the window, taking in the slowing of the lights flashing by beyond it, and softly answered her, "I think we're here already."

"Here?" Cat asked, rubbing her eyes as she sat up a bit more.

"Vegas." Xander nodded out the window at the Luxor, with it's spear of light shooting up into the dark early morning sky.

Cat looked out the window then looked back at him. "It's almost morning. How long have we been asleep?"

Xander looked at his watch, "Well my watch says it's a bit before seven, and we got on the plane a little after midnight, so I'd say about six hours."

The stewardess came back, and seeing them awake said, "Welcome to Las Vegas. There's a limo waiting to take you two to the Montecito. We are just taxiing over to it at the moment. Did you both have a pleasant nap?"

Cat nodded as Xander hid a yawn, then nodded himself. "I think I was out before we took off, and I didn't wake up until we hit the runway here. Sad to think I missed my entire first airplane flight, but I suppose I was tired."

Cat nodded, "It was a stressful day."

Cecelia nodded, thinking of her short-lived marriage, and the stress her ex-husband had gone through dealing with her family and his own on the wedding day. She honestly believed it was the wedding which had doomed their marriage.

"Well it's all behind you two now. All you have to do is break in the honeymoon suite in the best and newest resort on the strip. No pressure at all." Cecelia grinned as Chuck brought the plane to a stop, shutting down the engines, silence descending throughout the small aircraft as they whined to a stop. "Looks like we're here. Let's get you in the limo, and on your way to the resort."

Dawn was finally breaking over the strip as the limo pulled up to the front entrance of the Montecito. A valet jumped out and opened the passenger door almost before the car had come to a stop. Xander and Cat looked out at the young man who's smiling face blocked the lights of the entry way. "Welcome to the Montecito." He announced, stepping back from the doorway and gesturing towards the entrance doors.

Xander pulled himself out of the car, then reached in and helped Cat to her feet, before taking her hand in his, and making his way towards the glass doorway, the check-in desk visible beyond it.

Walking up to the desk, they were greeted by a smiling young girl. "Welcome to the Montecito. My name is Melody. I'm afraid we're all booked up at the moment, but if you already have reservations, I'd be happy to check you in, or if not to help you make some for your next visit."

Xander smiled and said, "I think we have reservations. I mean, someone sent a plane to pick us up and bring us here."

Suddenly Melody's smile jumped from 1000 watts to the mega-watt range, and she said, "The Harrises! Welcome! I was hoping you two would get in before my shift was over! We have the Honeymoon suite waiting for you. I just need to see some I.D., and we'll get you right up to the room. Everything's been taken care of by Mr. January."

Cat smiled and looked at Xander, then whispered in his ear, "Un,er, Daddy."

Xander nodded, having already made the connection with his patron god, and now apparently his father-in-law.

It was a matter of mere moments before a busboy was leading them to an elevator, which then carried them almost to the top of the hotel, just shy of the penthouse, and down a short hall. He opened the door to the Honeymoon Suite and stepped back.

Feeling the pressure of Tradition, Xander grinned as he scooped Cat off her feet, literally, and carried his new bride across the threshold, then paused, as the busboy opened a door off to the side, allowing Xander to carry his wife to the newly revealed bedroom, and set her gently upon the large round bed, where it rotated slowly before a floor to ceiling window through which the first rays of the morning sun were pouring to tickle the bed's red satin sheets, eliciting a soft shimmery reflection.

Xander swiftly fished a twenty out of his wallet, and handed it to the nameless busboy, who smiled and backed out the door, closing first the bedroom, then the hallway doors behind himself.

Xander looked down on Cat, who looked back up at him and smiled. "So, are you ready this time?" she asked him, spreading herself out luxuriously on the sheets.

Xander looked at her and smiled, then crawled onto the bed, laying himself out on top of her and kissing her deeply. "I think so. I mean, I'm as ready as I can be."

Cat moved herself beneath him, and said with a raucous grin, "Well, it certainly feels like you're ready. But I think we're supposed to be a bit less, dressed for this particular occasion, you know?" As she said that, her clothes literally melted away, leaving her totally naked on top of the sheets, as he laid fully clothed on top of her. 

Xander took in the change of the situation, and complained, "Hey, no fair! I don't have magic disappearing clothes."

Cat grinned, and flipped him over, so she was now on top of him as he lay on the bed beneath her. "Well, I suppose I'll just have to help you out then." She said, grasping his shirt in both hands, and literally ripping it open, buttons popping off and bouncing around the room in a sudden explosion.

Cat then dropped the shirt, and moved her attention lower, this time undoing the button and unzipping the zipper, before sliding off him entirely, landing on the floor before the slowly rotating bed. She reached out and grasped his shoes, and without untying them slipped them off over his feet, then tugged at the toes of his socks, removing them together, then taking a step to the side, to catch up with his moving position she grasped the cuffs of his pants and as he slowly rotated past her she pulled, his pants sliding down his legs, leaving him clad only in the remnants of his Hawaiian shirt and his boxers.

Taking a step back, she balanced then leapt forward into the air, to land on top of him once more, her grin back, "See, almost ready."

She bent over and kissed him, and he kissed her back. The excitement of the moment caused even more of a reaction than he had expected though, as he felt his fangs descend from the roof of his mouth, and experienced an almost overwhelming urge to bite her.

Cat, feeling the teeth shift in his mouth as her tongue explored it, increased the suction on her side, and deepened the kiss, before deliberately pricking her tongue on one of his teeth, letting a bit of her blood flow from it and onto his own.

Xander fought as an almost overwhelming urge rose up in him, and concerned for Cat, he broke away.

Cat, her eyes shining with desire looked down at him, and said, "What's wrong?"

Xander shook his head and answered, "I don't want to hurt you. I've never done this before, and, well, I'm having some urges I never expected."

Cat smiled slyly, and said, "You want to bite me?"

Xander reddened, and said, "Sort of. It's just that you smell so good, I literally want to eat you up all of a sudden."

Cat smiled and fashioned her own fangs in her mouth, then said, "I know about the blood kiss exchanged by vampire lovers of LaCrois's breed. I want to try it with you. You know you can't hurt me, right?"

Xander nodded, and as Cat leaned forward again, she bent her head to the side, biting into his neck and lapping against the skin there, even as she presented her own neck to Xander's mouth.

He resisted for a few seconds more, even as he felt his own blood flowing out through the hole she was holding open with her teeth in his jugular against the attempts by his body to heal it. Then he surrendered, and allowed his own teeth to bite in as well, and with a gentle suction be began to draw his love's blood into his own mouth, and with it he drew the pure essence of Cat into his mind, and soul, even as she drew his into hers.

Even before they discarded his boxers that morning, as the sunlight streamed in through the window to fall upon the two naked bodies on the rotating bed, Xander and Cat managed to join with one another on a level inconceivable my mortals, as their love, their hearts, even their minds and souls merged and truly became as one.

Eventually they made love to one another, exchanging their virginities, and exploring new sensations. The morning passed as the sun climbed into the sky, and Xander and Cat consummated their union. Repeatedly. In several different manners. But as the ceiling of the room finally eclipsed the late morning sunlight, allowing soft shadows to fall across the still turning bed and the two intertwined lovers, Xander and Cat fell asleep, their energy finally exhausted.

Xander awoke first. Everything seemed off. Granted, some of his disorientation he could ascribe to the bed's slow rotation, the room's walls and floor-to-ceiling window seeming to be slowly turning about him and the bed, instead of the other way around, but that was not really the problem.

Everything in the room seemed off somehow. He looked at the form of Cat looming beside him in the bed, and suddenly it clicked, and he jerked in shock, his motion waking Cat, who slitted open her green eyes and looked down at him, before suddenly opening them wide, and shooting up to a sitting position on the bed, looking down at him.

Xander started to panic, as Cat asked, her voice showing more confusion than concern, "Xander, why are you a cat?"

Xander tried to reply, the words were there in his mind, and were sent to his throat and mouth, but all that came out was, "Merou?"

Buffy looked tore the paper off the last of the gifts, this time under the watchful eyes of not only the other Scoobies, but also of the head-in-the-box.

And for good reason. This gift had been spotted downstairs, the label proclaiming it's origin to be from 'Lucifer, Lord of Light and Hell', and any gift from the devil himself bore special attention. Thus it had been set carefully aside until the rest of the gifts opened and thank-you cards written for their contents, awaiting only Xander and Cat's later personal touches.

The gifts had run the gambit from expensive yet perfectly normal, to obscure and mysterious, the former mostly coming from the Vampire guests, and the latter from the more unusual sources. One gift, from Coyote was nothing more than a stick. It was an interesting five foot long piece of twisted manzineta wood, decoratively colorful, but what use it was none of the Scoobies could even guess at. Raven had given them a small three inch shiny gold and turquoise sculpture, mounted on a pedestal of both white and rose quartz crystals. It was quite pretty, but other than it's decorative properties, seemed useless.

Looking over the accumulated gifts, Cordelia had noted that this is what happens when one fails to register at one of the better stores. 

And now they were down to the gift from the devil.

And it was up to Buffy to open it, since she was the Slayer. Jenny, Amy, Willow, and Jonathan stood by to offer magical assistance if needed, while Giles hovered over her shoulder in order to offer whatever advice he could, should there be some sort of recognizable mystical artifact in the package.

Once the wrapping had been removed, what was disclosed however was a box of some sort. Made of a dark wood, and inlaid with golden pieces, it resembled some sort of Chinese puzzle box.

"Put that down at once, Buffy." Giles ordered.

Buffy set the pretty box on the table, next to the quartz, gold, and turquoise gift from Raven. "What is it?" She asked, stepping back but watching it warily.

"I may be mistaken, but it may be analogous to Pandora's Box, a devilish device known as the Lament Configuration. A better analogy may be the Rubik's Cube for Hell. Apparently when solved, it opens a portal to a demon dimension inhabited by demonic torturers called Cenobites. Whatever you do, never should you try to open it." Giles said, lifting the Coyote's stick and poking at the wooden box with the far end, turning it so he could view the other sides. "I could be wrong, as I've only seen sketches of the infernal puzzle, but it would be in keeping with Lucifer's disposition to give such a thing. Especially if he believed it may trap Xander or someone else unawares."

A glance across the room showed a disappointed expression on the face of the boxed devil head. Apparently he was not happy with the Scooby gang's actions in regards to his gift. Suddenly the head resumed its silent shouting inside the box, an expression of frustrated anger overtaking it's features. And that was enough for Giles. "We need to find something to put that in, and insure Xander and Cat are completely informed as to its nature before they take custody of the thing."

Buffy nodded, and started looking at the several now discarded boxes laying haphazardly around the room, one of them ought to fit it. Perhaps several nested one inside another would be even better. Each with a warning "Do not open, Danger, evil puzzle inside" on the boxes. Of course, knowing Xander, it'd just make him open them faster.

Cat sensed Xander's alarm somewhere deep inside her own mind. A part of her soul having become permanently bonded to her husband's at some time. The large black tomcat layig on the bed opened its mouth and said "Merow" them as though shocked by it's voice, and realizing that it could feel her feeling him inside his own mind, Xander leapt up in shock, his body seeming to shift in mid-air from that of the black cat to a fully clothed Xander in what looked like the same black jeans and colorful Hawaiian shirt she had made for him the night before when they were settling into the airplane for the ride to Las Vegas.

He landed apparently painfully on his butt on the floor between the rotating bed and the darkening sky beyond the window which made up the nearer wall. "Ouch!" he said, then held up his hand and looked at it in a bit of shock. "I'm back!"

Cat climbed out of the bed as well, pausing a moment to manifest some clothes of her own, choosing a bright yellow t-shirt and faded blue jeans, as well as a pair of comfortable white deck shoes for her feet, before bending over to help her husband to his feet. "That was strange" she said, looking into his dark brown eyes with more than a little relief to find them back to normal

Xander looked down at his suddenly fully clothed and once more human form, then across the room to where his pants from the night before lay under the remnants of the shirt Cat had literally torn off him at the start of their early morning marathon lovemaking session. "What happened?" he asked.

Cat shrugged, "I'm not really sure. You managed to turn yourself into a cat. I take it you didn't want to do that, did you?"

Xander shook his head, "No. Never even considered it before. And what about these clothes?" he asked, gesturing at himself.

Cat shrugged again. "I'm not sure. It felt like you created them, but not the way I do it when I make something. Can you feel me as well as I can feel you, in your head?" she asked.

Xander nodded, a look of concern flashing over his face, "I can. It's like a part of you is in my head, and a part of me is in yours. I can't hear your thoughts, exactly, but I know what they are. And I can see my thoughts almost echoing inside you. Echoes of me in the echo of you in the echo of me in you. It's kind of wierding me out."

Cat stepped forward, feeling the panic he was holding back with sheer force of will, and gave her husband a solid hug, pouring all the love she felt for him down the link they now seemed to have, so he would be well aware of how she felt about him, no matter what, and was amazed to feel the true depths of his own love for her answering back.

He kissed her deeply in response, and his mental turmoil calmed, allowing a more rational part of his personality to take charge. "So, what should we do? Is there anyone who would know what is going on?"

Cat thought about it, "My mother, Bast. She might know, or if not, should know who we could ask. I've never heard of anything like this before."

Xander suddenly felt something inside his mind reach out, and without even thinking about it consciously, a portal opened as a result of his own thoughts, shimmering silently before them in the room, just off to the side of the window. "Uh, did I do that?" Xander asked, looking at Cat.

Cat nodded with a grin, "Yep. Your first Portal. Although how you did that I have no idea. The way you opened that wasn't how I open a portal. I can't even tell where it goes, I literally can't feel the other side for some reason. But from the echo of your mind in mine, I think it leads to Bast somehow."

"Should we try and use it?" Xander asked.

"Why not, in the worst case, I can always open a new portal back here, or to our place in Toronto. But since you were thinking of my mom, and finding out what was going on when you opened it, this may be our answer." Cat explained, still trying to feel the other end of the portal, which seemed to twist off in another direction in some way she'd never experienced before. 

Xander reached out and plucked Kusanagi from the nightstand where Cat had set her the night before, and slipping the sheath on his back where it belonged, reached his other hand out to his wife, who took it, and together they stepped forward and vanished through the disk, leaving the empty Honeymoon suite behind themselves.

The room was large and filled with golden ornaments, silk cloths, and oddly garbed warriors.

A throne was set up near the center of the room, and upon this throne a dark hearied woman sneered down at the four forms which had been herded before her by her guards to face her personal justice.

And the goddess Bast was not in a mood to be very just, having heard how much damage these three Tau'ri and their Sholv'a accomplice had caused to her palace.

Raising her hand, a stream of colored lights extended from the gem on her palm to strike one of the four prisoners, forcing him to stumble back against her guards in pain, who then pushed him back forward so he fell to the ground, almost in a proper supplicant position.

She was about to launch into another attack when a colorful disk, much like the event horizon from a Chappa'ai, only without the ring around it appeared in the middle of her throne room.

A pair of humans stepped out from it, a blonde haired female in a yellow top with blue trousers, and a bare chested brunette man wearing multi-colored shorts of some sort and bearing a sword on his back, both holding hands and grinning.

"What is this?" Bast demanded of her Jaffa. "Who dares to invade my domain so?"

The pair looked around as though in confusion. The male of the pair then addressed her, asking "Who the heck are you, and where are we?"

As more of her guards moved forward to take the two newcomers into custody, she pointed her ribbon device towards them and eyes flashing silver, demanded in her most imperious tone, "You will kneel before your goddess, mortals. I am your goddess Bast, and you are in my throne room, and it is I who shall ask the questions here." With that she fired a blast from her hand device at them both to demonstrate her power, and punish them for their impertinence in so addressing her.

Jack O'Neill was not having a good day. Day hell, the entire month so far just sucked.

But the capper was his whole team getting caught on their way back to the gate after stealing the Naqu'dah from the storehouse and setting the charges.

Of course they lost the stuff to the Jaffa in charge of the patrol which captured them, and were still in their custody when the warehouse it had come from went up, so it didn't take them long to figure who to present to their goddess so as to deflect her anger from them.

And boy was she angry. Why a Goa'uld would get so upset at losing their entire supply of Naqu'dah he wasn't sure, I mean, it wasn't like it was the foundation for their entire technical base, was it? Oh yeah, maybe it was.

He stood as best he could against the pain shooting through his body as Bast blasted him yet again with the ribbon device, causing him to fall back against the entirely unsympathetic Jaffa guards behind him. Guards who returned the favor by shoving him brutally forward again so he fell onto his hands and knees.

But he caught a flash of colored light even as he fell forward.

Looking up from his position on the floor, his knees shouting their own pain signals in protest of his recent treatment of them, he saw a shimmering circle, almost like an oval stargate, only without the gate.

And a pair of humans came from it. The blonde had on a yellow T-shirt and blue jeans, the man was dressed only in a sword and a pair of boxers. And they were grinning and holding hands like kids at a circus.

He watched as Bast shifted her focus to the new arrivals, demanding an explanation for their presence.

The man responded by asking who she was and where they were, and Bast responded by demanding the worship due her as their goddess Bast. And as if to emphasize her point, she fired a blast with her hand device at the two. Then things went wonky.

Xander and Cat stepped out of the portal into a room right out of a Hollywood movie. A bad Hollywood movie. The chamber seemed to be made of stone, decorated with gold and silk, and peopled by ridiculous looking soldiers. Seated upon a golden throne in the middle of the room was some woman, and she was apparently in the process of torturing some prisoners, which were almost dressed like US military of some sort. Although the golden tattoo on the forehead of the large black man was more in keeping with the rest of the chamber than it was with the uniform he and the other three wore.

The wicked witch seemed to notice their entrance and looked first at the soldiers lining the walls of her chamber, demanding, "What is this?" She then looked at them and asked "Who dares to invade my domain so?"

Xander looked at his wife but feeling the confusion flowing from her mind, he decided to take the initiative, and replied, "Who the heck are you, and where are we?" He hoped one of the answers would explain why HIS portal had led them here. Wherever this was.

The wicked witch seemed to take affront at the very nature of his questions, and her eyes flashed a silver color as she said in a spooky echoing voice, "You will kneel before your goddess, mortals." Xander started to glance at Cat again, but the woman was continuing, "I am your goddess Bast, and you are in my throne room, and it is I who shall ask the questions here." 

Xander almost flinched as he felt the anger flare from within his wife. He felt her mind do something, reaching out to the woman before them, and even as the witch lifted her hand and pointed her crystal torture thingy at them, he felt it as Cat started pulling information straight from the witches mind. Or rather, minds, for he realized suddenly that there were two of them. One belonging to the woman he was seeing, who seemed to be a literal prisoner in her own body, and another mind, a filthy, oily, cesspool of a thing, which was now receiving the bulk of Cat's attention.

The witch however was firing her torture thing, something he found he now knew was called a ribbon hand-device at them, and without even knowingwhat he was doing, Xander reacted to the attack.

Daniel Jackson watched as the two newcomers asked Bast who she was and where they were in response to her own demands for information. 

He then watched as she responded by actually answering the question the young man wearing a sword and a pair of boxers asked, before demanding their worship and firing her ribbon device at them.

Even as the colored lights started emerging from the device however, the man raised his left hand even as his right reached over his shoulder and drew the sword from its scabbard.

The lights of the ribbon device seemed to fade away as they closed in on the couple, vanishing entirely before reaching the pair.

Meanwhile he spun in place, his sword flashing out and slicing clean through the staff weapon wielded by the closest of the Jaffa guards who had been closing in on the pair of intruders. He didn't stop his movement, however, stepping back and pivoting to slice the legs off a second guard, his armor proving to be little, if any impediment to the blade.

The man's bare foot then flashed out, catching the face of the guard who's staff weapon he had destroyed, knocking that individual to the ground unconscious next to his silently writhing companion. The young man then stopped his motion and looked at the short blonde girl in the yellow shirt and blue jeans. "Cat?" he asked.

The girl was scowling at Bast, and despite her slight size and beautiful features, it was a scary scowl. Daniel was certain he never wanted to have someone look at him that way.

"You are not Bast. How dare you take my mothers name. You are nothing but an insignificant worm with delusions of adequacy. A parasite with nothing more than parlor tricks to your stolen name." The venom in the girls voice could have cut steel. Heck, it could have cut trinium.

Something clicked in the back of the archeologist's mind however. There were vague references to a goddess referred to only as 'Bast's Daughter', which he had dismissed recently as likely referring to a favored offspring of the Goa'uld currently before them, however the palpable anger radiating off the blonde was such that he found it hard to imagine her as a Goa'uld, not even a Tok-ra.

Bast lowered the apparently ineffective ribbon device, and upon seeing the swift dispatch of her first two Jaffa, asked a question of her own, "Who are you? And what do you wish here?"

The girl's glare seemed to intensify, her own eyes flaring briefly with a greenish light as she replied, "I'm Cat, wife to Alexander, the Protector of Mankind and Chosen Champion of the Elder God Janus. I am also the daughter of Bast, the TRUE Goddess Bast, who's name you have soiled by it's association with scum like yourself."

Jack, who had regained his feet by this point caught Daniel's eye and said softly, "I kind of like her style."

Samantha Carter, who stood between himself and Teal'c, nodded silent agreement to her colonel's statement.

But the show wasn't over yet.

Jack watched as the new girl, the blonde played flashy eyes with Bast. He had to admit the cute blonde's eyes were brighter, and that green was kind of cool. And he liked her style of addressing the Goa'uld, who she apparently didn't seem to like.

"I'm Cat, wife to Alexander, the Protector of Mankind and Chosen Champion of the Elder God Janus. I am also the daughter of Bast, the TRUE Goddess Bast, who's name you have soiled by it's association with scum like yourself."

Her boyfriend, or perhaps he was the husband Alexander, having made short work of the two Jaffa close enough for him to attack with his sword had stepped back and taken a position to her right, a bit behind her as though guarding her back.

"I do not know who you are, but I AM the goddess Bast." Bast replied, "And I have no daughters. Now, kneel before me and be done with your impertinence before I destroy you."

Even Jack, who admittedly sucked at diplomacy, knew that was the last thing Bast should have said. He could actually feel the power now radiating off the blonde, it was scary, and it wasn't even close to being directed at him.

Xander could feel Cat's anger building even more, until it radiated from her like heat off a black asphalt parking lot on a sunny noon day in July. He tried projecting as much of a calming influence to her as he could, even as he watched the other stupidly dressed guards as they considered the wisdom of trying a second assault, his successful dispatch of the first two, coupled with the apparent power of Cat causing them to choose discretion over valor, for the moment at least.

The alien parasite thing inside the woman on the throne was not as smart however. Sneering at Cat as she said, "I do not know who you are, but I AM the goddess Bast. And I have no daughters. Now, kneel before me and be done with your impertinence before I destroy you."

And then he felt it. Something in Cat snapped, and she reached out with her mind and somehow grabbed the parasite, taking control of it, much like it took over control of it's poor unfortunate hosts. "That is IT!" Cat shouted, her voice echoing throughout the chamber. "I've had enough of you. You will crawl before me that I might show you the power of a TRUE Goddess."

The woman on the throne gasped out and fell forwards, tumbling to the floor, her hands reaching to her throat as a look of extreme pain flashed across her face. Then her mouth opened and a disgusting snake like thing crawled out, and started slithering across the floor towards Cat.

Xander moved forward, raising Kusanagi to slice the thing to pieces, but Cat's voice spoke softly from behind him, "No, Xander, See what you can do for the slave, she might die otherwise."

Feeling her confidence in her control of the situation through his new link to her mind, he instead stepped around the thing he somehow now knew was called a Goa'uld, and made his way to the thing's ex-host.

She was pretty bad off, Cat was right, she was likely going to die. As it left, the Goa'uld had practically torn her throat open on the inside. Blood was pouring both out her mouth, and into her lungs with every gasping breath she took. However, Xander thought that there was something he could try. He'd never done it before, but something he'd seen from Cat the night before gave him an idea.

Samantha watched in shock as the short blonde, after a heated exchange with Bast seemed to change suddenly in her demeanor, her anger flowing suddenly into a calm focus, as she commanded in a powerfully clear voice, "That is IT! I've had enough of you. You will crawl before me that I might show you the power of a TRUE Goddess."

Everyone in the room other than Bast, the girl, and her cute, if somewhat underdressed companion froze at those words. Literally, as Sam found herself suddenly incapable of moving anything other than her eyes.

Bast gave a ghasp of pain and fell from her throne, then the parasite disengaged from it's host and started to make it's way across the floor towards the blonde. Her companion moved as if to attack it with his sword, but the girl said something to him too softly for her to hear, and instead of attacking the snake, he sheathed his sword and made his way to the fallen form of the host, where she lay bleeding to death from the wounds the symbiote left in it's departure.

The man leaned over the host's body, placing his hands on her neck, and then seemed to project little sparks of lightening from his hands into her body. She convulsed as the current struck her repeatedly, but for some reason the bleeding stopped, perhaps the wounds were being cauterized somehow, Sam wasn't sure.

Jack spoke softly from beside her, "Danny-boy?"

"Yes, Jack?" Daniel answered.

"You stuck like a fly in amber too?"

"Yes Jack."

"You seeing underwear man doing a Emperor Palpatine impression?"

"Yes Jack."

"Ok. Just checking."

Meenwhile, the Goa'uld had finally made it's way to the feet of the blonde. Who looked down at it and sneered, "A filthy worm. Nothing more. And so you shall die." With that, she lifted her foot, and brought it down squarely on the parasite. Which simply splattered into a gooey mess on the floor.

Xander staggered as he stood up from his position over the woman's body. She was no longer bleeding, the wounds healed. But he felt more exhausted than he could remember ever being, both physically, and surprisingly mentally. In fact, more mentally than physically. He had actually channeled the power of his Quickening into the woman's body, temporarily treating it as almost an extension of his own, allowing the power of his Quickening to heal her wounds. And it had actually worked.

Now, however he was drained, literally. And the smell of the woman's blood was stirring a hunger in him he usually managed to suppress.

Turning away from the softly stirring body, he looked across the room to Cat, who was frowning slightly as she worked to wipe some gooey substance from the bottom of her otherwise immaculate white shoes.

The oddly dressed guards had all fallen to their knees and seemed to be worshiping in Cat's general direction, leaving the former prisoners alone.

The older of the four, a graying man with what looked like Coulonel's bars on his coller addressed him. "So, you're this Alexander guy, huh?"

Xander was too tired to really answer, so he simply nodded.

"You and the misses go around saving folks and defeating evil all the time?" the Colonel asked.

Xander again just nodded.

The Colonel looked Xander up and down, then continued, "A little recommendation for you."

Xander just looked at him, so the Colonel continued, "Next time, wear some pants."

The large black man who stood behind him, wearing some sort of gold emblem on his forehead simply nodded and said, "Indeed."

Xander looked down and for the first time since arriving here realized that somehow his clothes had vanished since leaving the hotel room. Suddenly feeling very naked despite his boxers, Xander blushed from head to toe, and uttered a plaintive cry, "Cat?"

Cat looked over at her husband, noting his distress in her mind, and dismissing the rest of the insignificant worm from her person, made her way to his side. "Yes, Xander?" she asked.

"Um, uh, where are my clothes?" he asked.

Cat looked him over and realized that the only thing on him at the moment other than Kusanagi's sheath was the pair of boxers he had been sleeping in that afternoon.

Thinking back, she realized that he had been essentially undressed ever since they emerged from the portal. The funny feeling portal. Which had somehow lost the clothes he had made which also hadn't felt right, but in a different way.

She thought about it for a moment, then answered, "I don't know. You were dressed when we entered your portal, but now that I think about it, you weren't wearing anything you made yourself when we came out of it. I guess they were lost in translation somehow. I told you what you did didn't feel right somehow, didn't I?"

Xander started to worry again, his mind tracing back over what had happened that afternoon when he had gone from being a furry cat to a fully clothed Xander again. He had panicked, and had something very similar to when he cast a glamour, only he hadn't quite. Whatever he had done hadn't been tied to his Quickening at all, but in thinking back on it, he realized that thee clothed he had been 'wearing' hadn't been real. Not in the sense that the underwear he still had on was.

He tried to retrace his actions in shifting himself from a cat to a Xander, from a naked cat to a fully clothed Xander, and as he did so, he felt a sudden weight around him as the shirt, pants, and even shoes reappeared.

The woman next to the Colonel looked surprised by the sudden appearance of his clothes, and took a step back, saying "Colonel?"

"I see it too, Carter. Presto-dresso. A neat trick. Bet he could make a fortune in Vegas." The Colonel replied.

Xander however wasn't paying attention to them, instead focusing on the 'clothes' he now wore. "Uh, Cat, can you make me jacket? Carefully so I can watch?" he asked his wife.

Cat smiled at him, and manifested a nice leather jacket similar to the one she had made him when they were at the mall together that first time. The one he seemed to like the most. She varied this one a bit, changing the pockets and making the zipper a bit finer toothed than the other one, so she wasn't stealing someone's design this time.

Xander felt her mind in his as she did so, and compared the process to the one he had just used on his own clothes. While the folks from SG-1 watched, the man held out his hand and offered a light blue nylon windbreaker to his wife in exchange for the cool looking leather jacket she had just handed him out of nowhere. "How is this one?" he asked her.

Cat took the offered jacket, and slipped it on, noting that the color was a good match for her pants.

"It looks nice. Thanks sweetheart." She told him, then gave him a quick kiss.

Xander however now re-examined his current clothing and by comparing what he felt about it to what he felt from the two jackets, as well as what he felt from the boxers, he identified the flaw in his other clothes. They weren't real. While they were there, and had more, substance, to them than a simple illusion created by a glamor, they still weren't real. They lacked that extra bit of, not energy, a kind of a twist, or better a 'whuff' was the best Xander could come up with to describe it in his mind, there was a certain feel to it, like a shape verses a texture, or color, or flavor. But without it they were in a way hollow. But with it, they were actually real. He swiftly added the twist, or 'whuff' to the rest of his clothes, so he could be sure they wouldn't be disappearing on him again.

Most of this introspection was invisible to everyone present other than Cat, who watched with interest as her new husband identified the difference between something she manifested as she had been doing all her life, and the things he had made both earlier that day and again just now. She was impressed, as she hadn't known it was possible to make things which weren't really real. When she wanted to unmake something she actually had to destroy it, an easy thing to do considering her powers, but requiring far more effort than unmaking something which hadn't ever really been made in the first place. Experimenting, she didn't make a bracelet on her right wrist, then after admiring the glimmer of light off it for a few moments, released it, and watched it vanish as though it never was, which truly was the case this time.

She was so proud of Xander. Her husband was so clever, even when he didn't realize it himself.

She was broken out of her musings when the Colonel spoke to her. "So, a Goddess, huh?" he asked.

Cat smiled, and said, "Yes."

"So, how's that working for you?" he asked sardonically.

Cat considered for a moment, then replied, "Quite nicely, actually."

The Colonel blinked, then asked, "So, you want us to start worshiping you now, or what?"

Cat frowned at him then asked in honest confusion, "Why?"

The Colonel looked confused as well as he asked, "Well, you're a goddess. Isn't that what goddess do? Go around being worshiped all the time?"

Cat shrugged, and replied, "Some of them. Mostly the stupider or less powerful ones that feel a need for an easy ego boost. I mean, not everyone with worshipers are like that, my mom has almost a whole world which worships her, but that's mostly because she lives there in her temple in Per-Bast, in Middle Egypt, and has been there almost since forever. I grew up there, and she doesn't do anything to encourage them, they just believe in her because well, she's there. She's seen it as more of a nuisance than anything else, kind of a big waste of time. Some of the priests are cool though. Her high priest, Imhotep performed our wedding with Uncle Mike. But I certainly don't want a bunch of people wasting my time while they worship me."

Looking over at the still kneeling Jaffa, she raises her voice, "You either. Get up and go home. The evil false goddess is dead. Her fellow fakes probably won't last much longer once I tell my family about them, and then you can all be free and happy."

One of the Jaffa approached, kneeling again before her, "My goddess Cat, how can we serve you?"

Cat looked at him, then frowned at O'Neill, "See what I mean?"

"Get a job at a restaurant where I and my husband eat, then you can server us. Otherwise forget about it. I don't want or need a servant."

The Jaffa looked confused by her reply, while Jack just shook his head.

Xander came over and sat down on the edge of the pedestal holding the throne, still tired but recovering his energy. "Cat, can you open a portal back to the hotel? I don't really know what I did the last time."

Cat smiled at him and said, "Sure.", then she got a distant look in her eyes, then she frowned, Xander felt a sudden wave of panic well up in her as she actually closed her eyes, reaching out somehow, but finding nothing.

Finally she opened her eyes again, "Make that a 'no.' I don't know where we are. Or rather, I know where we are, but I can't feel anyplace I can go to that I've been to before, and without knowing where I'm going, I can't get there."

Xander blinked at that and said, "Huh?"

Cat frowned while Samantha walked over and listened in seeming interested somehow. "Look, I told you I couldn't feel the end of the portal when you opened it to here, didn't I?"

Xander nodded.

"Well, I still can't. Feel this end that is. Or rather, nothing that I can feel is right. So if I open a portal there it won't go where I want it to. It'll go wherever it is that it goes, which isn't anywhere I've ever been."

"So you're lost?" Jack asked.

Cat shook her head, "No. I'm right here. But I don't need to know where I am, because that doesn't matter. What matters is where I'm going, and I can't find anyplace familiar to go."

Xander was still confused, "So somehow the portal I opened to get here took us somewhere you can't reach, or at least took us somewhere that from it you can't get to anywhere you know."

"The portal you opened which took us here had a funny twist to it, something I've never seen. Apparently that twist was more important than I thought it was. I need to twist the other way to get us back, and I don't know how to make a portal twist. You did it, but I don't know how, and I don't think you know either. And now I've confused myself. I suppose we could just go to Las Vegas and try from there to find our way home."

Jack spoke up again, "You folks are from a planet called Las Vegas?"

Xander looked at him, "No, I'm from a planet called Earth. We were on our honeymoon in Las Vegas when we came here."

"Wait, you came here from Las Vegas? The Las Vegas that's 800 miles from Colorado Springs?" Sam asked.

"No, we came here from a Las Vegas which is 800 miles from a Colorado Springs, but which isn't your Las Vegas or Colorado Springs, if that helps." Xander tried to explain.

Jack just grinned, "And somehow you just sorta forgot where ya parked, huh?"

To Be Continued... 


	19. Knight Errant Part 19 – MntnsOfMolehills

Part 19, Mountains out of Molehills

General Hammond watched as the gate locked in on the last chevron, and activated with a "Whush".

"Close the Iris" he commanded, the shiny shutter sliding closed and obscuring the rippling pool of the event horizon even as it settled back into the giant rung.

"Receiving incoming GDO transmission Sir. It's SG1." One of the techs called out.

"Open the Iris" Hammond responded, "and signal them it's clear."

He watched then as the four members of his team walked through the wormhole, leading a confused looking brunette woman in Goa'uld robes, and followed by a pair of what looked like normal American teenagers.

The young woman was a short blonde in a white deck shoes and blue levis, her upper half covered by a light blue nylon windbreaker on top of a bright yellow t-shirt. The young man who stood next to her was wearing sneakers, black jeans, and a very colorful Hawaiian shirt mercifully covered by a leather jacket.

Hammond stepped out of the control room and locked eyes on his 2IC. "Report."

"The Goa'uld Bast is dead, this was her host, who hasn't yet adjusted to being on her own yet. Bast's troops, have been, uh, dismissed, and we have the Naqu'dah we went for in the first place with us as well."

Hammond let his eyes dart pointedly to the pair who had followed them through the gate, even as the wormhole behind them whuffed closed.

"Uh, we also picked up a pair of, visitors. They're on their honeymoon, and would like a lift back to Las Vegas."

"Alexander, Protector of Mankind and Chosen Champion of Janus seems to be a fine Warrior." Teal'c added with a sage nod of his head.

"Uh, yeah, the kid can kick ass. We managed to get captured and then they showed up and sort of killed the Goa'uld. I would recommend not pissing the blonde off by the way."

Daniel spoke up, "She claims to be the daughter of the actual Bast, who she says is not a Goa'uld, but is a real goddess, whatever that means."

"It seems like we will have a lot to go over in the debriefing. Head over to Medical and let Dr. Fraiser check you out. Dismissed." Hammond replied, looking inquisitively after the pair as they followed SG1 towards the hallway leading to the infirmary.

Dr. Janet Fraiser wasn't sure what to do about the pair of civilians which trailed in after SG1.

Since they had never been here before, she didn't have a baseline to compare against, but whatever their appearances, neither one was human.

Oh, they had all the right parts, in all the right places according to the MRI, and all the blood tests seemed to be clear of known pathogens, although there were some oddities on the basic cellular level with both samples, different oddities for each sample, which made even less sense. But it was with the EKGs and Energy Signature scans where they were the furthest from human norms.

Both of the newcomers seemed to project powerful electromagnetic fields around themselves unlike anything she had ever detected before. And once again those fields were radically different. Yet at the same time they seemed linked somehow.

Based on the microcellular variations and the energy discrepancies Janet was absolutely certain that neither of her two guests were actually humans. Not that they claimed to be either. She had asked the girl, Cat, first, and had almost hit the alarms at the young lady's calm reply that she was a Goddess. However, since the MRI scans showed absolutely no sign of a Goa'uld symbiot and the blood work had not the slightest trace of Naqu'dah, she tried to ask what a Goddess was. And that's when her migraine started.

"So, what exactly is a Goddess?" Janet asked the pretty blond seated in front of her radiating almost enough energy to light up the mountain if it could be harnessed somehow.

The girl, Cat, shrugged, "Um, a powerful non human being of supernatural origin? It's more of a title than an actual classification. My father was an Elder God, and my mother an Sun Goddess from the Egyptian pantheon, so my deific status was pretty much a default."

"People worship you?" Janet asked

"Not that I know of. I don't have any temples or any sort of church, no followers of my own, although some of my mothers people tried to start a sect once to worship me, but since I didn't have a name at the time they weren't able to generate much of a following, fortunately."

"You didn't have a name?" Janet asked confused.

"Well, there was a prophecy before I was born, and it told how I would be bound by someone who spoke my Name. Names are a thing of Power, with a being's True Name you can command them in many cases against their will. In my case, my parents thought the best way to thwart the prophecy was to eliminate that handle, to not give me a Name. I was given an ideogram as my name, a symbol with no spoken word associated for it, and referred to only as 'Bast's Daughter', which is a description, not a name."

"No you grew up without a name?" Janet asked, puzzled.

"Yep. Until I met Xander. He gave me my Name. I think the prophecy was about him. We were going to find my Mom, but Xander opened the portal, and it led to that stupid false Bast instead of to my Mother. Since Xander's portal did some sort of strange twist though which I don't understand, we can't go back yet, until one of us can open a portal back somewhere familiar to me."

"So, what is Xander?" Janet asked.

"He's my husband." Cat answered with a smile.

"Yes, but what type of being is he?" she tried again.

"He's, Xander." Cat had answered her.

"Is he a God of some sort?" Janet tried.

"He would say not. But some may disagree with him on that. I can't say myself. No one I know of has given him that title yet." Cat answered.

"Ok. What about his parents. You said your parents were a god and a goddess, and your divinity came from them. Who were Xander's parents? Were they gods?"

"Xander doesn't talk about his parents much. I don't think he likes them. I know they didn't come to the wedding, and all his friends did. I wish I had gotten a chance to really talk to them, since it was the first time I ever met them. But no, they weren't gods, they were normal humans. And so was Xander, when he was born." Cat answered.

"What happened after that? What changed him? I don't think he's a normal human anymore, not based on his biochemistry and energy signatures." Janet prompted.

"No, he's certainly not. He got possessed. I think that was the first thing. By a Primal Spirit. Those are stong non-corporeal beings which can inhabit a body and use their essence to alter it, strengthening it or enhancing it's senses and reflexes, speeding healing, things like that. There are civilizations who seek to have their greatest warriors so possessed, so they become almost invincibly powerful. Of course, it is at the cost of the warrior's freedom, but for those people it is a price the warrior will gladly pay to protect his people. Xander didn't want to be a warrior though, and his friends managed to bind the essence and eject the spirit, so he returned to normal." The girl replied.

"So he was changed by some sort of energy being which took over his body, but then he was changed back when it left?" Janet asked.

"I don't know, I wasn't there. I talked to my father about it though, and he said that the essence was still there, just bound up. The spirit had been cast out, but it sort of left it's power behind, but locked away somehow and Xander couldn't access it." Cat answered.

"So then what?" Janet asked. "There had to be more to it than that."

"Then he got possessed again. This time it was a spell, empowered by my father. One of his few priests cast a spell on Xander's town on Halloween, which changed everyone who had gotten a costume from the priest into whatever they dressed as. Xander had dressed as himself though, sort of. He pretended he was dressing as an immortal version of himself, based on what he thought was a TV show, it was a show about people who once they died stopped aging, and fought one another with swords, the one who lost their head then giving up their power to the winner. It was a story based on Radien's children, who each have a part of their father's power scattered amongst them, so much that if any one ever gathers enough of it, they will essentially become a god. But it would take just about all the power held by them to do that. Even so, the oldest ones have a lot of power, and Xander was pretending to be a really old one, one who had learned to use a lot of his power."

Janet blinked, "He was pretending to be Methos from Highlander or something?"

Cat grinned, "Alexander, a contemporary of Methos, actually. I told you he went as himself, just as an ancient Immortal version. Anyhow, the pseudo-immortal ended up running into a pseudo-vampire and got bitten, while he was dying, the vampire trying to make Alexander into one of his kind. Also, somehow the vampire unlocked the primal essence, and that combined with the pseudo-immortal essence and the pseudo-vampire and changed Xander, or rather Alexander into some sort of hybrid of the three. When the spell ended, my father noticed what Alexander, the pseudo-immortal had become, and as he restored Xander, he left all the abilities and memories behind for him, and chose him as his first Champion in millennia."

"So somehow this spell caused Xander to change into a sort of cross between two fictional beings and this primal thing. And your father kept him that way." Janet clarified.

"Yes. But there is more to it. After that, Xander fought beside a former Champion called the Slayer, to protect his home from evil demons. But in doing so, he ended up stopping one from opening a portal which would have swallowed his whole world into hell. He stopped it, but ended up in hell himself. He saved me from there, but that was after twenty years or so in Hell. While he was there, he apparently, er, ate some demons. And if I believe him, which I do, even though I don't trust him, according to the devil, that may have changed him somehow. Also, he married me, and that may have changed him too. I know that I can feel his mind inside my own now, and he can feel mine inside of his, and he opened the portal which took us here, that is something only my father and his offspring can do, without a lot of extra effort at least. So no, he's not a normal human anymore."

"You are saying he was contaminated by eating demons, and by marrying you after being changed by your father's spell and the primal thing. But he started out as a normal human. Could the changes to him be contagious?" Janet asked.

Cat shook her head, "I don't think so. Maybe, if he tried to make someone a vampire, he might spread some of the changes, but whether they would be a regular vampire or something else, I don't know. I don't think he'd even try though."

"Ok, thanks. I think I can start on my report now. If you want to join your husband, I think the Colonel took him to the cafeteria. I can have one of the airmen escort you there." Janet had replied, turning off her recorder.

And that was the source of her headache. The ex Goa'uld she could handle. Although there was no medical explanation for the blood in the woman's lungs, from what SG1 had told her during their check-ups the woman had been bleeding to death before 'Xander' had 'shot her with lighting'. There was no sign, other than the residual blood, of any trauma on the woman's body, but her mind seemed in deep shock, which considering that she was an unwilling host to a Goa'uld for who knows how long, is not hard to understand.

Janet had done what she could to clear the lungs, and would monitor the situation. As far as her recommendation in regards to the other two though, she wasn't sure what to tell the General. Other than they certainly were not normal humans, despite appearances.

Samantha Carter sat at the table in the conference room, going over her 'interview' with Alexander, Protector of Man and Champoin of the Elder God Janus. With a name like that it was no shock he went by 'Xander'.

They had been in the cafeteria, shortly after escaping from Dr. Fraiser. Xander's wife, Cat was still with the Doctor, having told them to go feed her husband, as his stomach was growling audibly.

Once Xander had finished his third helping of dinner, and sat wiggling his fourth green jello, but no longer actually eating, Sam thought it might be a good chance to learn more about the portal technology they had used to arrive in Bast's throne room.

"So, Xander, those portals you use." She started.

Xander poked his jello again with the spoon, then scooped up a large bite, and lifted it in the air, before looking up into her eyes. "Yeah?" he asked, before shoving the spoonful of jello in his mouth,

"What can you tell me about them?" Sam inquired sweetly.

Xander swallowed his mouthful of jello, then shrugged, "They look pretty, they seem to be totally flat, as in two dimensional, they glow in the dark, oh, and they let you travel to other dimensions."

Sam nodded, "You mean through other dimensions."

Xander shook his head, "No, I mean to other dimensions. I learned about them a long time ago. G-man gave me the whole spiel. I even learned about the world without shrimps. Never been there, but I know about it."

"World without shrimps?" Sam asked.

"Yep. Everything is just like my home, only there aren't any shrimps. No Jumbo Shrimps, no Bay Shrimps, not even the little briny thingies like the mormons have in their lake. I asked about them specifically, and Giles started yelling that no there weren't even any really small people, before I bothered to ask."

"So there is an alternate reality where everyone is tall, and there are no crustations?"

"I don't know about crustations. Just shrimps. But yeah, there's a dimension out there without any shrimps. But everything else is just the same. I really think he wasn't serious about the short people, he was just getting annoyed and being British."

"And you came from another reality then, like through a quantum mirror?" Sam asked, wondering about Quantum Cascade Failure. She had noted the unusual energy signatures Dr. Fraiser had detected from both Xander and Cat. If they were from a parallel reality then it was possible that the energy signatures were a side effect of either the exposure to their portal device, or some sort of buffer effect they used to prevent Quantum Cascade Failure. "Is that how your portals work?"

"I don't know what a quantum mirror is, but I do know that a portal is a way to travel to an alternate dimension. And there are an infinite number of them. They are all around, separated by planks or something. G-Man gave me a lecture on them back when we were first faced with Kendra and Angelus trying to use Acaltha to suck the world into Hell. But that was a long time ago, and I really wasn't paying attention to the lecture, other than when he mentioned the shrimps, or lack thereof."

"Multiple universes separated along multiple dimensions by plank lengths. It would make sense. So how does your portal devise establish a polydimensional beachhead to instigate a termini? And how do you manage the orthogonal vector translation?" Sam asked, trying to work the mechanics out in her head.

"Huh?" Xander asked.

Jack, who was more used to Sam's technobabble translated, "How does your doohickey open the portal?"

Xander frowned, "There isn't any doohickey. I don't have a lot of experience in this, but when I did it earlier, it was just kinda there. I wanted to find Bast, and then whoosh, there was the portal."

"But how did you enter your desired preference? Did you just tell the portal device to open a portal to Bast?" Sam asked, still trying to pin down the technology used.

"Like I said, I just made it. I don't know how. In fact, from what Cat said, I even did it wrong, just like I did with the clothes. In both cases I wasn't really doing anything, just reacting." Xander said, setting the spoon down in the now empty bowl.

"It wasn't wrong, just different." Cat said, slipping up behind her husband and giving him a hug. "If it was wrong we wouldn't have gotten anywhere. You opened a portal that took us to Bast, it's just that it took us to that worm pretending to be my mother, instead of my real Mom. Just because I've never felt a portal like that before, and because it took us someplace I can't reach back from doesn't make it wrong."

Xander frowned over his shoulder at her, "It disintegrated my clothes. That's pretty wrong, in my book."

Jack sprayed milk out his nose, earning him a silently raised eyebrow from Teal'c, but everyone else was focused on the conversation.

"No, that wasn't the problem with your clothes. It didn't disintegrate my clothes, or the underwear I had made for you, or Kusanagi's scabbard. Just the clothes you had created, which you hadn't locked somehow. A new trick I hadn't even known was possible."

"Yeah, so I can now have magic vanishing clothes. Neat trick." Xander said.

Cat smiled slyly at him and said, "And so can I. Think of that for a while." She then bent over and gave him a kiss which reminded everyone present that the pair were supposed to be on their honeymoon. Sam was almost tempted to tell them to get a room, but then realized that they needed to see the General and debrief the latest mission.

And she still hadn't found a thing out about how their technology worked. It was very frustrating.

General George Hammond sat at the head of the table in the conference room, listening as Jack completed his verbal recap of the report on their mission to P396684, Bast's governing seat, or rather what had been Bast's seat of power. From what Jack was saying, the young couple they had brought back had shown up through some sort of gate-less wormhole, then the young man first disarmed a Jaffa, killed a second one, and then took the first one out before he had a chance to respond to the destruction of his Staff Weapon.

Meanwhile the blonde apparently somehow caused the Goa'uld symbiote to leave it's host and she then stepped on it, somehow smearing it into the floor. While the young man did something to heal the former host's wounds caused by the symbiote's departure.

Finally, he turned to Janet, who had done a complete physical on the pair. "Dr. Fraiser?" He asked.

"Well, first off, neither one is human."

That statement caused a ripple of movement around the table. "I see. Are they aliens then?"

Janet frowned, "Not exactly. I did everything from a MRI to subcelular blood work on both of them. Physically, the female, Cat is a perfectly normal human. There are minor traces of what looks like some sort of prion, The same prion is also in Alexander's blood, although it is much more prevalent. A cellular analysis showed evidence of prionic infiltration in just about every cell of his body. What the effect of this prion is I can not even begin to speculate. I did however receive assurances from his wife that he had originally been a perfectly normal human."

"Could this prion be responsible for the changes in him then?" George asked.

Janet shrugged, "It is more likely a contributor but not a direct effecter. After speaking with his wife however, I have a theory. One I'm not sure if we would want to test or not."

"Go on, tell us what you think to be the case with him, then we'll move on to the young lady." George ordered.

"Ok, from the history I received from Cat, Alexander, or Xander as he prefers, was first infected by some sort of energy being called a Primal when he was in high school. The Primal was ejected, but somehow it's energy core remained behind, however at the time it was restrained so as to have no further effect on the young man. Apparently this changed a few months later when he was somehow effected by what Cat referred to as a 'spell'. This spell apparently made him into an alternate version of himself, only one based on a template drawn from the Highlander television show or movies, I'm not sure which. She said he was turned into the equivalent of an ancient immortal from the stories, one of considerable power. Later in the evening, he was exposed to another individual who had been changed based on some sort of vampire template, and the two template archetypes combined within him, releasing the energy core from that 'Primal' being. At the end of the evening, her father, who was responsible for the 'spell' decided to keep Xander in that condition somehow, and made the otherwise temporary changes permanent somehow. Now, I have observed the supposed Highlander effect, when I took a skin sample from Alexander, the wound sparked for a second or so, and vanished. But there was no sign of the vampire traits. However, based on the alleged ability for a vampire to spread their 'curse' I have hypothesized that the prion is actually the root cause of the vampire traits. The fact that they are also present in his wife's blood, although in a far lower concentration makes me concerned that this condition is indeed contagious. It is my recommendation that Alexander and Cat both be secured in quarantine in order to protect the health and security of this base."

Hammond blinked at that, even as Jack took a breath to make some sort of comment. A comment which was preempted by the alarms going off. "Unscheduled off world activation" came over the loudspeakers. Everyone glanced through the conference room's window and saw that indeed the gate was dialing.

"Anyone order pizza?" Jack asked, even as the General rose to his feet. "We'll continue this shortly." He ordered, making his way towards the door.

Xander and Cat sat outside the conference room, waiting to be called in for the questions the General was sure to have for them at some point in the debriefing occurring on the other side of the doors.

Cat actually sat on Xander's lap, to the apparent amusement of the omnipresent airmen guarding the corridors of this underground installation.

Xander didn't care. He had Cat in his lap, and both in and on his mind. And he liked it.

Cat was happy as well, despite the nagging discomfort from not being able to feel anyplace familiar around her, something which was unique in her memory.

Finally he spoke up, "So, what do you think we should tell them about us?"

Cat looked confused, "Tell who what?"

"The military. I mean, we shouldn't just start giving them our life histories, who knows what they'd do with that kind of information. It's bad enough they are interested in the Portal I opened, I don't think they quite grasp the idea that I didn't use anything to do it, other than my mind. Sam kept asking about the device we used. Even after I told her repeatedly that there was no such device involved. I bet Dr. Jackson can't wait to start digging into your family history - did you know he was an Egyptologist before they brought him here to study aliens?"

"Dr. Frasier had a lot of questions about you." Cat said.

"Like what?" Xander asked, a surge of worry shooting through him.

"Like what we were. I told her you were a normal human at first, then I told her about the Hyena and the Possessions, my father, and the rest of it." Cat explained.

"I wish you hadn't told them all that. Now they'll want to put me in a cage and study me." Xander complained.

"How?" Cat asked, honestly confused.

"I don't know. They have guns. They could keep shooting me until I stopped trying to escape." Xander replied.

"You could just make them forget about you, or leave you alone like you did with the Vampires." Cat recommended.

Xander shrugged, then gave her a quick kiss before replying, "I don't like doing that, it feels wrong to force someone to do something they wouldn't want to do."

"But is it more wrong than being locked up in a cage?" Cat asked.

Xander thought about it, then shrugged, "Well I don't know. Hopefully I won't have to find out. I mean, I just have to remember how I opened the portal earlier. It can't be that hard, since I already did it once. Maybe I could have you open one for me the right way, and I can feel what you do than try it myself, like I did with the clothes the second time around?"

"Sure. Where do you want to go?" Cat asked, sitting up.

Xander was about to tell her that he didn't mean right then, but was cut off when a klaxon mounted on the wall right over their head started blaring an alarm. "Unscheduled off world activation" came a terse voice over the loudspeakers.

Xander looked at Cat and shrugged, mentally turning the sensitivity of his ears WAY down, and really happy now he hadn't been trying to listen in to the debriefing like he had been considering when he took the seat by the door, up until Cat sat on him and distracted his mind with, more important things.

As the General led the way out of the conference room, in another part of the complex, Colonel Harry Mayborne sent the signal to deactivate the very expensive digital RC bug the NID had planted in the conference room. Designed to sit idle during feedback or RF sweeps. The bug only became an active piece of equipment when it's passive receiver had been sent a specific code. And unless it was in actual use, the device was entirely undetectable by any known methods. The fact that it had survived in use at the SG1 for over a year seemed to prove the technology to be proof against even alien intrusion detection devices. Which had been the intend behind the design in the first place.

For now though he had a mission of his own to plan. The NID needed every advantage it could get to save the US from the dual threats of it's human neighbors on earth, and the alien menace beyond the atmosphere. And from what he had just heard, this Alexander's blood may just hold such an advantage. All he had to do was get it.

When the conference room doors opened, and General Hamond followed by the Dr. and SG-1 emerged, Xander and Cat just followed them down to the Gate Room, neither invited, or in truth noticed in the bustle of activity.

They entered the room just as the wormhole established it's connection, opening with an outward splash of energy. General Hammond called out, "Close the Iris" even as he strode into the gate room.

A series of metal pieced fanned out from the edges of the ring, closing off the front of the wormhole from sight.

Cat asked Xander "What is that for?"

Xander shrugged, "Perhaps to stop unwanted visitors?"

"Receiving Tok-ra GDO" came a voice over the PA.

"Open the Iris" the General demanded.

The strips of metal swung back to their invisible storage location, once more revealing the shimmering bluish event horizon.

"Signal the all-clear, and stand down." The General announced.

Suddenly the surface of the wormhole rippled and a youngish woman stepped out, followed by an older man.

Even as they started down the ramp, the wormhole collapsed behind them, and the palpable tension in the room dropped. "General Hammond, we have important news!" the woman called, spotting the General over by the doors to the room, with SG-1 standing just behind him.

Cat tensed up beside Xander, and as he looked at her he saw as well as felt her anger. "It's two more of those worms." She hissed.

Coming to a stop before the General, the woman spoke again, "Someone has attacked Bast, and according to the survivors she was killed in a public conflict by a Goddess more powerful than any Goa'uld. She also had a consort who killed several dozen Jaffa guards before they could even attempt to protect their goddess.

Teal'c spoke up at that point, "Alexander is a fine warrior, however he only slew one Jaffa, the other he first disarmed then incapacitated, Anise."

The woman's eyes flashed silver and she turned to him, "What do you know of this?"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, "We were there." He said simply.

The man who had stopped at the bottom of the ramp, and seemed to be the only one in the room to notice the pair standing quietly behind SG1 asked, "So the report is true? Some sort of super Goa'uld attacked and killed Bast?"

"We were just discussing that, you are welcome to join us, Jacob, Selmak.

"There is no time for discussion. We must find this being and destroy it, before it threatens the Tok-ra. Any being which can face a Goa'uld and destroy the symbiote the way she did is too powerful to trust." Anise interrupted.

Selmak took control of Jacob for a moment, saying, "General Hammond, could you perhaps introduce us to your two guests?" Jacob resumed control and added, "And explain why the young man is carrying a weapon in your facility?"

Everyone turned to look in surprise at Cat and Xander, especially as they realized for the first time that Xander had been wearing his sword the entire time he had been in the base, and not once had anyone requested he surrender it, or ever asked him to lock it into the Armory, despite that being standard protocol.

"This is Alexander, titled Protector of Mankind and Chosen Champion of Janus, apparently, and his wife, Cat, Daughter of Bast, but not the one she destroyed on P396684." George explained, while trying himself to come up with a reason he had not asked for the removal of the sword from Xander's person, and failing utterly. It just had never seemed important. Still didn't for that matter.

Anise froze at that introduction, letting Freya finally take control, who smiled and gave the Colonel a little wave, saying, "Hi Jack."

Jack looked at the blonde and offered a grin, thinking "Oh crap. Why couldn't I be off fishing."

Xander felt as Cat seemed to reach into the minds of the two newcomers, both the minds of the humans and those of the parasites within them. He could feel her anger mounting towards the worm called Anise, even as it lessened towards the other worm, called Semlak.

Cats problem seemed to center around Anise's attitudes, more than anything to do with her being a worm in the first place. He realized he now knew how the Tok'ra were supposed to be partners with their human hosts, however in the case of Anise, she felt her brilliance so overshadowed that of the host, a sweet young lady named Freya, who had actually volunteered to share her body with a worm, but since the 'merger' Freya had been consistently pushed to the backseat of her own body, because Anise was the one who controlled who had control, and mostly she felt it should be herself, after all what she wanted was important - to her own mind at least..

Anise retook control even as he watched, and through Cat felt, noting the mental sorrow and hurt from Freya as she was coldly shoved aside, allowing Anise to once more assume control. "General Hammond, I must insist that these two be given to the Tok'ra. The Tau'ri do not have the ability or experience with which to negotiate with anyone capable of attacking a System Lord in her own palace. We will of course be willing to share any information we extract from them."

Cat's eyes narrowed, and Xander could feel her anger building once again. 

He could also feel Selmak's reaction a combination of regret and embarasment, even as he noticed Jack making 'Cut' motions over his throat, as though to restrain Anise from making any further comments.

"Why would I want anything to do with a worm like you?" Cat asked, her voice cold enough to freeze the nitrogen right out of the air.

Anise blinked, then responded, "Because you wouldn't need to pretend to be a God with us, we know the truth of such things and are not so easily fooled by simple tricks. You can treat with us as equals."

Cat stepped forward, even as Jack muttered an "Oh shit." And several of the airmen around the room started to bring up their weapons incase the violence they sensed approaching developed.

"First off, I am a Goddess. There are no tricks involved. Unlike a worm such as yourself, which by its nature must hide within a host, I am what I am, nothing more, nothing less. And a worm like you or that pathetic imposter who soiled my mother's name is so much a lesser being than myself as to be almost beneath my notice, unless they make a point of attracting my attention to them. And that's not usually a good idea for the worm in question."

Cat's eyes flared green, and she squinted a bit at Anise, who's own eyes flashed silver briefly, before her body shuddered, and Freya shook her head as though clearing it after awakening from a sleep. "What, what did you do?" she asked.

All eyes turned to Cat, who shrugged, "I adjusted the balance. The worm no longer controls you. You now control the worm. After all, it is your body."

Cat turned and made her way back to her husband, who she kissed briefly, whispering "Sorry if I made a scene. She just got on my nerves."

Jack spoke up addressing Cat softly, "I don't suppose you could wish her to the cornfield, or something, could you?"

Selmak stepped forward, and extended a raised hand, palm open towards Cat, "Please accept my apologies for my companion's behavior. But I have to ask, has whatever you just did harmed either the host or the symbiot?"

Cat looked at him, then back at Freya, who was moving her hand around, clenching and unclenching her fist, with an odd expression on her face, as though listening to some sort of internal dialogue.

"No. I just shifted the control center from Anise to Freya. Essentially, Anise can now only take control of Freya's body when she specifically allows it, as opposed to the other way around, where Anise controlled the body, and only let Freya have control when she so chose. The change is just to Anise, not to Freya. If Anise is transferred to another host, the same conditions will apply, unless there is no sentient mind in the host's body. An animal with no sense of self or a comatose or brain damaged host would be fully under Anise's control. However any host with a sense of self will be able to override her at will, and it will be that way for the rest of her life. I saw how she was treating Freya, and didn't think she deserved to be able to exercise such control since she obviously lacks the self restraint you have shown with General Carter since you were placed in him."

"Restraint is not a trait Anise is known for, this is true." Jacob said, taking control back from Selmak. "And as long as neither Freya or Anise are harmed, then I suppose it's alright. Although I doubt if Anise will see it that way."

Freya looked up at Cat, "Anise is very mad. She wants you to put her back in charge."

Cat quirked an eyebrow at Freya, then asked, "What do you want?"

Freya blinked, as though the idea hadn't occurred to her before. She opened then closed her mouth, as though unable or unwilling to say.

"Then it's settled. Anise will remain a guest of whatever host she's in from here on out." Cat smiled, as though reading Freya's mind, which Xander knew was exactly what she had done.

General Hammond turned to Cat and asked, "I have a question"

Cat nodded, so the General went on, following a point no one else had noticed, "How did you know Jacob was a General?"

Cat shrugged, "I looked?"

"Looked where?" Hammond asked again, not satisfied with her answer.

"In his and Selmak's minds. Same as I did with Freya and Anise. I understand why Colonel O'Neill dislikes her so. She is a rude and pushy individual. Not as arrogant as the other Goa'uld, but only marginally better, at least in my judgment." Cat answered.

"You've been looking in people's minds?" the General asked.

Cat shrugged, "Not really. Some things just jump out, but in the case of the worms and their hosts, yes."

"I see, Well, I would recommend we adjourn back to the conference room. We had just started discussing yourself and 'Xander' when our newest guests arrived. We may as well resume, with everyone present." The General declared.

Using the unscheduled activation as a diversion, Mayborne made his way to the Infirmary. It didn't take him long to infiltrate the medical section, avoiding the few stationary guards, as well as the remaining medical staff.

He went straight to the refrigerator, and scanning it, located the samples from Alexander and Cat. Carefully extracting the sealed vials containing the blood and tissue samples from the aliens, he slipped them one at a time into the slots he had cut into a Styrofoam block before commencing on his mission.

Carefully he retreated back to his quarters, being sure not to encounter anyone along the way. Finally back in his room, he logged in through the back door to the base's security system. It was a matter of only a few moments work for him to key in a lockout for the security cameras, wiping the five minutes before the gate activation through his return to his quarters from the security database, replacing it with another fifteen minute slot from the same time the week before. Hopefully if they detected the replacement they would assume it to be a glitch of some sort. But even if they didn't, it wasn't as important as getting these samples to Area 52 ASAP. The future of the nation could ride in these small vials, and he planned on doing whatever he could to insure it wasn't going to be a rocky road.

And thinking of Rocky Road, he placed the Styrofoam block under his bed, then made his way to the commissary. Some ice cream should do the trick of keeping the samples cool while he arranged a courier to extract them from the facility with proper equipment to insure the integrity of the tissues.

General Hammond once more sat at the head of the conference room table, only this time the two Tok'ra as well as the young couple in question were present, along with the Dr. and SG-1.

Dr Fraiser had just repeated her recommendation that Xander and Cat be placed into quarantine, this time with everyone present. General Hammond then looked at Xander and asked him point blank, "So, the question arises what we should do with you."

"Give us a lift to 'Vegas so we can get back to our honeymoon?" Xander offered hopefully.

Hammond shook his head, "This is a top secret facility. The question of your communicability aside, you can't just leave here anytime you want."

Cat blinked, then answered, "Yes we can.", not understanding the General's point.

"Uh, I think he means he can't let us leave, Cat. Not that we aren't able to." Xander pointed out, feeling Cat's confusion in his mind.

"Why not? All we have to do is open a portal. It's not like that could hurt anything." As she said that, she waved, and a portal spun into existence across the room by the window. "See. We just have to step through and we'd be back in Las Vegas. Granted, it's the wrong Las Vegas, but they don't need to do anything for us to be able to leave."

Sam was staring at the portal in shock, while Freya had gone still, apparently distracted by whatever internal babble Anise had going. Generals Hammond and Carter were glaring at Cat, while Jack was trying to stifle a laugh. Teal'c just sat there, while Daniel and Dr,. Fraiser were looking between Cat and her portal, and back again.

Jacob was the first to speak, "Just where does this 'portal' lead?"

Cat shrugged, "To the roof of the hotel where we were staying was. The other side is somewhere in Canada, I think."

Sam asked, "Other side?"

Cat nodded, "Any portal connects three locations. The front of the local portal opens to the back of the destination portal. The front of the destination portal connects to the back of the sideband portal, and the back of the sideband portal connects to the back of the local portal. Unlike your portals where the front of the origin connects to the front of the destination, and the back creates a reciprocal link to the origin portal."

Freya nodded, then her eyes flashed, and Anise spoke for the first time since Cat had removed her control. "If you are referring to the Chappa'ai, you are mistaken. The wormholes created are one way. There is no back."

Cat looked at her like she was an idiot. "When you came here, you established a connection from your base to the gate here, right?"

Anise nodded. "Of course. That is the only way to transit a wormhole. You can not use an incoming wormhole - the event horizon will reject you."

Cat rolled her eyes, "Duh. But before you came you used one of those Garage Door Opener things they gave you so the iris would be open for you, right?"

Anise nodded, "Yes. We sent the signal like we always have to do with the Tau'ri, and awaited the signal that told us it was safe to come through. Otherwise we would have impacted against the shield and been unable to reconstitute."

Cat nodded. "And then what happened?"

Anise shrugged, "We got the signal and came through, the same as always happens."

Cat seemed frustrated. "How."

"How what?" Anise asked.

"How did you get the signal?" She clarified.

Sam suddenly perked up, realizing exactly what Cat had been getting at, but Anise wasn't following. "On the GDO. It light up with the green light telling us it was safe to come through."

Cat tried again, "How did the GDO know to light up?"

Anise shrugged, "It received a signal of some sort from here, I suppose."

Cat nodded, "And how far away were you? Did you wait thousands of years for the signal to cross the cosmos, or was it transmitted in real time?"

"It uses a primitive radio system I believe." Anise dismissed. "But to answer your question, it was in real time."

"So how did the radio get from here to there, if the wormhole is just one-way from there to here?" Cat asked.

Anise sat there then looked over at Samantha Carter, "How does your radio get through the wormhole both ways. Your people have to have studied this before."

Sam shrugged, "We've never really known. We assumed that for some reason electrons were able to transit both ways, either that or RF signals on one side resonated the other side of the event horizon, so that the appearance of bidirectional traffic occurred."

Cat shook her head, "No. They went through the back side of the wormhole. It should have been obvious."

Suddenly a pair of men fell out of the back side of Cat's portal, drawing everyone's attention.

The one on the top looked around and proclaimed, "Woah, that hurt, eh."

Cat swiftly closed her portal, looking a little embarrassed, while General Hammond stood up and addressed the newcomers. "Who are you, and where did you come from?"

The first one stood, and helped his companion to his feet as well. "I'm Bob, and this is my brother Doug McKenzie."

Xander just blinked, then said, "Oh crap."

To be continued... 


	20. Knight Errant Part 20 – TeMoreTeMayhm

Part 20, The More the Mayhem.

The doors burst open as several Airmen guards stormed the room, weapons pointing at the new arrivals.

"Eh, don't shoot me, ok." One of the two cried, hiding behind his brother.

General Hammond, reigning in his temper raised his hand, waving off the guards, who lowered their weapons, but remained alert.

Seeing this, the brother in front, Bob, nodded at the guards, and said, "The power of the force stopped you Hosers."

Seeing he wasn't about to be shot, Doug looked out from where he now stood, behind his brother looked at the rest of the people in the room and asked, "Eh, can one of you soldier guys tell me where the bathroom is, eh? I've gotta take a wicked piss."

Bob shook his head, "Eh, I told ya not ta drink that last 6-pack, eh. Now look what happened. Serves you right for bogarting all the beer."

Jack, reaching his tolerance asked, "How did you get here, and where are you from?"

Bob, looking over at Jack waved at him dismissively, "Take off you Hoser. I'm talking to my brother here eh."

Jack had just opened his mouth to reply, when suddenly he disappeared in a flash of light.

Xander glanced sharply at Cat, "Did you do that?" he asked.

Cat shook her head, looking back at the brothers.

Doug looked from where Jack had just vanished to his brother Bob and said, "Woah. That was cool eh. Can you do that again eh?"

Bob shrugged, "I didn't do nothing. He just, took off, eh."

"Sir, I believe that was an Asgard beam." Sam offered to Hammond, who was slowly counting to ten, then back down again to zero, the count up not having worked to dissipate his tension sufficiently.

Cat looked confused. She leaned over to Xander, and spoke softly in his ear, "I've never heard of the Asgard using a beam. Flying horses, Valkeries, swords, chariots, axes, mallets, even ships. But not beams."

Xander spoke up, "Uh, Is it normal for the Colonel to just vanish like that? You folks seem to be taking his disappearance pretty well."

After exchanging a glance with Jacob, who shrugged, Hammond spoke up, "One of our, allies, the Asgard have been known to, borrow, the Colonel on occasion."

No sooner had he said that, than there was another flash of light, and Jack reappeared, standing next to a small grey alien.

The McKenzie brothers were not amused, "Ahh!", Doug cried, "He went and got ET, Eh!"

Bob ducked behind Doug this time, shouting at the alien, "Get away from me you little freak! Don't make me kick your butt eh! You aren't getting any anal probes in my rectum, eh, so just forget it, Eh!"

General Hammond, having had enough spoke to the guards. "Get them out of here. Put them in the brig for now."

Jack spoke up, "We could just shoot them."

Hammond glanced at him for a moment, then shook his head, "I wouldn't want to start an international incident."

Jack shrugged, "It's just Canada."

Hammond looked at the guards who were escorting the pair out the door, and ordered them, "Have someone contact the Canadians and find out how quickly we can get them to take them back."

Turning back to Cat, he ordered, "You are not to open any more portals inside my base. Is that understood?"

Cat nodded solemnly.

The Asgard looked around. "Greetings General Hammond. Teal'c. Dr. Jackson. Dr. Carter. Dr. Fraiser. Xander Harris. Anise and Freya, Selmak and Jacob of the Tok'ra. And you must be the being called Cat?"

Daniel looked around. "Xander Harris. I've heard that name before somewhere."

Cat on the other hand was glad for any distraction. "Yep. That's me, Cat Harris."

"You are the one who destroyed Bast in her palace, and this is the man who defeated two cohorts of Jaffa in single combat?" the alien asked.

Cat glanced at Xander, who shrugged, "It was just two Jaffa." He said.

Cat then looked at the alien and asked, "Who are you?"

The alien looked down for a moment, as though embarrassed, then looked back up at her, "I'm sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. I am Thor of the Asgard."

Cat looked confused, "What is it with the aliens here pretending to be Gods. I know Thor. He's much taller than you. And he has hair. And generally wears clothes."

Thor looked around, not understanding. "I am Thor. I have always been Thor. I was Thor before your people evolved to your current form."

"My people? When have you ever met my people?" Cat asked, "And who was it? Because I must tell you, so far all I've seen are worms stealing my people's names."

Thor was really confused now. "Are you not of the Tau'ri? A Human from Earth?"

Cat shook her head, "No, I am a Goddess from Earth, but an alternate Earth. Not one from this dimension."

Sam corrected her, "They come from an alternate universe. Apparently they use some sort of interdimensional portals to travel from one plane of existence to another."

Thor nodded, seeming to grasp the concept, "So you, like the Goa'uld claim to be a God?"

Cat shook her head, "No. I am a Goddess. There is no claim involved, it is simply what I am. A title, like General, Colonel, or Doctor."

Thor bent his head to the side, "And what must one do to earn this title?"

Cat shrugged, "Usually it's hereditary. My parents were both Gods, so I am one as well. Even though I have no worshipers."

Thor then turned to Xander, and asked. "I have seen your exploits. Do you truly fight monsters with your powers, before seeking the snack called Twinkies?"

Xander blinked, "Yeah. When I have to."

"Thor," General Hammond interrupted, "Why are you here, if I may ask?"

"I am here because I have a problem. The System Lords are claiming your attack on Baal to be a violation of our treaty on the part of the Asgard. They are claiming we provided advanced technology to you allowing you to attack Bast, and are demanding we do something to rectify the situation, or they will consider the attack against Bast an act of war and cease to honor the Protected Planets Treaty."

Hammond simply threw up his hands, exclaiming, "Of course. What else could go wrong?"

And with that the Klaxon started blaring again, and the PA once more announced, "Unscheduled offworld Activation."

The expanded party, including the two Tok'ra and the Asgard made their way as quickly as possible to the Gate Room, arriving in time to see the wormhole stabilize and the shutters of the Iris snick into place,. concealing the surface of the event horizon from view.

"Report" Hammond called, striding into the room, taking in the alertness of the ready alert team.

"Sir, we are receiving a Goa'uld Transmission, Sir."

Hammond moved imto the room until he was standing with his back to the gate, facing the control room windows. "What do they want?" he asked.

A few moments later, the tech came back on the P.A. "It's a System Lord named Cronus, sir. He demands we allow a diplomatic envoy consisting of himself and an honor guard of two Jaffa through to discuss the Protected Planets Treaty. He claims there has been a potential breach, and as one of the sponsors he wants to discuss the matter with you immediately."

Hammond looked at Thor, who nodded, "They do have the right to send a diplomatic mission to a planet protected under the treaty. And Cronus was one of the three Goa'uld sent to negotiate, as you may recall."

Looking around to see if anyone had a dissenting opinion to that of the Asgard, Hammond threw up his hands as if in defeat, "Tell him he and two guards may come through, but no more. Tell them they may not bring Staff weapons, and any Zats must be holstered or they will be shot."

A few moments later the technician came back on the P.A. "He agrees, Sir. He asks that no weapons be pointed at him personally, and offers that we may cover his guards if we wish. They will only carry stowed Zat'n'ktel for weapons, if that will make us feel safer."

Hammond nodded, "Open the Iris and invite him through then." He looked around at the ready response team, "Be on guard, but no accidents.", he said softly.

The iris whished back, revealing the bluish event horizon, rippling like the surface of a glowing blue pond, only turned on it's side. The a pair of ripples to either side violently parted revealing a pair of Jaffa guards, their hands empty. They looked nervously around the room as a third ripple parted to reveal the Goa'uld System Lord Cronus.

Cronus looked around the room, taking in first the Asgard Thor, then his eyes resting briefly on both Freya and Selmak/Jacob Carter, before passing swiftly over Sg1, with a minor pause on Teal'c, then finally setteling on Xander and Cat. "So they are yours after all." He said imperiously. "I was hoping I could prove that this wasn't the case."

He looked back at Thor, and asked, "Unless you can somehow prove you didn't give them whatever weapons they used to kill Bast and all her Jaffa Guards? If I bring proof before the System Lords they may decide it wasn't a violation after all."

Thor shrugged, "We did nothing. I just arrived to seek the assistance of the Tau'ri in determining what exactly had happened."

Cat looked reprovingly at Cronus and asked in a cold voice, "Why should I care what these System Lords think?"

Cronus looked back at her and shook his head, "If they believe there has been a violation of the treaty, at the least they will lift the Protected Planets status from Earth and send a fleet to destroy the planet. At the worst they will resume all out war against the Asgard."

General Hammond spoke up, "What would you recommend we do? You must have had some plan when you asked to speak to us?"

Cronus shrugged, "Seeing as how the attackers who pretended to be Goa'uld and killed Bast and her people are affiliated with you, I have no idea."

Xander spoke up, "We aren't though. Affiliated that is."

Everyone looked at him and he shrugged, "We aren't even from around here. We never met the so called Tau'ri before today. And Bast was killed because she pissed my wife off."

Cronus looked slightly hopeful, "You are not from the Tau'ri? You have no affiliation with Earth?"

Xander looked at Cat, then looked back at Cronus, and said, "As I said, we aren't from here. We haven't stepped foot on this Earth before today. So no, we aren't affiliated with them, they were just there when we showed up, then Bast got in the way, and got herself killed. I only killed one of her Jaffa, the other I just knocked out."

Cronus looked surprised. "That is not the story I heard. I was told you both came trough some sort of portable stargate, demanded Bast submit to you, declared you were gods and that Bast was a false god, slaughtered her legions of Jaffa then killed her before her surviving slaves. Few of her slaves are still alive though, and none of them were there to see exactly what happened. Most died in the attempted revolt when word was spread that true gods had shown Bast to be a false god. All that is certain is that she is dead, and the corpse of her host can not even be found, only the remains of her true form, smashed as though by some powerful device or the force of some unknown weapon."

Xander looked at Cat again, then at Cronus, then at SG1, and back at Cronus, "Cat stepped on it. The Goa'uld, that is. The host survived, although was catatonic the last time I saw her. And as I said, I only killed one guard, disarmed another, and the rest left when we told them to go. I don't know anything about a revolt, that must have happened after we left to come here with SG-1 to meet the so-called Tau'ri."

Cat was barely holding in her temper, but the calming influence inside her mind from Xander was helping her to simply stand there in silence, a blank expression on her normally lovely face.

"Would you be willing to appear before the System Lords and tell them this? Prove that you have no affiliation with the Tau'ri, and that the Asgard didn't arm you?" Cronus asked.

Xander reached out and took Cat's hand, squeezing it gently. "Would that satisfy their complaints about this treaty thing?"

Cronus nodded, "If I can demonstrate there was no violation, then there would be no grounds for complaint at this time. The treaty would stand as I negotiated it. I would lose no face, the Tau'ri would continue to live, and the Asgard would be left to peruse their own ends, as they are now."

Xander looked at Cat and asked, "Up to you, you want to go see the System Lords?"

Suddenly Cat smiled, a cold, almost chilling smile to one who knew her. But outwardly it was still a smile, as she said, "Yes. I'd like to go see these Goa'uld System Lords." She looked at SG1 and asked, "Want to come along?"

Jack just shook his head, "I think I have an appointment to go fishing. Yeah, pretty sure. Sorry 'bout that, but partying with a bunch of snakes isn't high on my To-Do List."

Xander looked at the two Tok'ra, who both shook their heads. Finally he looked as Thor, who nodded. "I shall attend the conclave. I had been summoned in any event, as the allegation was that we had violated the treaty by arming the Tau'ri against the Goa'uld. I shall, however take my own ship. It will take me a short time to get there."

Looking back at the General, Xander said, "Well, General, it's been nice to meet you."

Cat graced him with a genuine smile of her own, "I'm sorry I accidentally let those two people into your base. I hope they aren't too much of a problem. We could send them back if you want, so they don't remember anything happened."

General Hammond shook his head, "That's alright. We'll take care of them. The Canadians have already been notified of their presence in our custody. If we lost them now, it might look bad."

Cat shrugged, then said, "Well, if we come back this way, we'll stop and say 'Hi.'. And I promise not to open any more portals inside your base."

Turning to her husband, she said, "So, shall we go meet these 'System Lords'?"

Xander shrugged, then said, "If you want. It is your honeymoon, after all."

With that, the control room dialed back to Cronus's home world, and as the gate whooshed open, they made their way up the ramp and through the surface of the event horizon.

Buffy watched as Maahes vanished, not quite making it to the doors of the library before simply winking out of existence. She was sad that they hadn't gotten more of a chance to see Xander or to meet the Cat girl he married, wow, Xander married, that was a weird thought, but a married Xander was so much better than a dead Xander trapped in hell with her ex boyfriend.

"Oh drat!" Giles said.

"What?" Joyce asked, coming up to stand beside him and his fiancé Jenny.

"I forgot to give Maahes the letter we wrote for Xander. The one which explained about the danger of opening the Lament Configuration, and which warned him we had that hand locked in the small fire safe we left him on the table next to that cursed demonic head of his."

"Yeah, but we labeled the boxes with plenty of warnings not to open them," Cordelia said, "It's not like the dweeb would just ignore all those warnings, is it?"

The Scoobies looked at one another for a few moments, then Giles spoke for them all, "Good lord. He's doomed."

Harry Mayborn turned away from the computer, a bit of concern flitting across his face. A whole day, that's what the email said. He was hoping he could get the samples out sooner than that, especially since once they were missed it would become quite a bit harder to smuggle them out, but according to the message he just received the soonest a courier with the appropriate carrier could get into the mountain was the next day.

Harry looked at the makeshift cooler, with it's containers of melted ice cream resting on top of it. He was going to have to make another trip to the commissary. Perhaps some sherbet this time would work better.

The star gate had just whished closed, and General Hammond turned to Colonel O'Neill, "Colonel, while I agree it may defeat the purpose of distancing ourselves from those two in the eyes of the System Lords, I really think we need to monitor those proceedings. After all, the future of Earth's status as a Protected Planet is at stake."

"Begging your pardon, General, but there is no way I am getting within several light years of that young lady and a room full of powerful Goa'uld short of a direct order. And even then I would only go under protest. You had ordered me to take leave after the mission to P39-684, and that is exactly what I am going to do. Take some leave. Go fishing. If you want someone to monitor the situation, send Sam and Dr. Jackson. I know the space monkey's been trying to get some time to question Cat about her home life anyhow. Me, I have an appointment with a fishing rod and a case of cold beer."

"I can transport your team members aboard my cruiser, General. And return them afterwards." Thor offered. "If they stay aboard, they should be more than able to monitor the conference, without being themselves identified and risking detainment."

General Hammond looked hopefully at his 2IC, but Jack simply shook his head, mouthing, "Not Me", so he looked at the Colonel's two recommendations. Both had eager looks on their faces.

Daniel spoke up, "I don't know how going to monitor the conference is going to get me any closer to questing Cat, but I'm willing to go."

Sam nodded, "It sounds fine to me. Any time I can catch a ride on Thor's Chariot I'm happy."

Thor nodded, and in a flash, all three had vanished.

General Hammond looked at Jack, and said, "Colonel, my office. Now.", before turning and stalking off.

Teal'c headed back to hi own room, he needed to catch up on his kel'no'reem, and ponder the possibility that this Cat might not be a false god, and what that meant for the universe.

Xander and Cat followed by Cronus's two Jaffa emerged into his version of the Gateroom.

Xander looked around, taking in the gold colored walls, the soft indirect lightning, and noting a soft vibration through the floor. He looked at his 'Host' and asked, "Are we on a spaceship?"

Cronus gave an annoyed glance over his shoulder at the two apparent humans following him, and answered, "Yes. Now wait while I prepare for the conclave. My Jaffa will take you to a cell where you can wait. It should only be a few hours."

Cronus then made his way out of the room, while the Jaffa retrieved a pair of Staff Weapons from two other warriors who had already been waiting in the gate room, then motioned that Cat and Xander were to accompany them down the hallway, two of the warriors in front, and two behind.

Xander made his way out of the room, looking around in interest. Meanwhile, he was trying to feel the heartbeats of the four guards, and subtly working to synchronize their heartbeats with his own. He had done this before now several times one on one, and once two on one, but never with four marching individuals.

Finally he thought he had it, and pacing his voice, he spoke both aloud and to a lesser extent, inside their minds. "There is a scenic rout you could take us along. One with a view outside."

"Xander, what are you doing?" Cat asked.

"Cat, we're on a space ship. Do you realize how cool that is?" Xander explained. "It's like BEING on Babylon Five. I mean add a few Mimbari and Centauri and it'd be perfect."

Cat looked confused, not understanding at all, but silently followed along with her husband. He felt happy and bubbly in her mind, and she liked the feeling.

The Jaffa never broke stride, but at the next corridor they made a right, rather then the left they had made the last time. And soon they had come to a Hanger.

Rows of Death Gliders stood poised before an enormous opening leading to space.

The Jaffa led the way past the aircraft, over to the huge opening.

Xander just stopped and stared out through the transparent force field at the vast emptiness of space just beyond. He watched as the stars slowly rotated, the ship apparently shifting position as a planet swung into view, a huge mottled green, brown and blue mass, covered with white clouds on the sunlight side, the cresent of the night side visable as well though as a lighter grey than the star-filled blackness of the space it obscured, yet to his eyes, even that darkness held small points of light, vehicles, houses, and other signs of civilization sparkling like earth bound stars to his aw-struck eyes.

Cat looked out at the sight, and felt Xander's wonder in his mind, and as it colored her own view, she felt an echo of it from herself as well. The view of a planet from space was impressive. Nothing less could be said.

Eventually, Cat looked around. The four Jaffa were simply standing there, slack-jawed, watching impassively as Xander gazed out the window at the planet slowly rotating below, as the ship drifted around it in orbit. While they had been watching, the ship had crossed the terminator, and the planet had swung from the upper left to the lower right of the huge opening, the ship apparently maintaining a consistent direction in space as it orbited the globe below it, instead of maintaining a position relative to the surface of the world. Cat reached out and touched Xander's shoulder, feeling his startlement through their link, even as the four Jaffa also jumped as though surprised themselves.

One of the guards was looking around, as though just waking from a deep sleep and confused as to his location, while the others were sinking back into the same dull impassivity as they had held before she had touched her husband. "We should be moving along. We ought to be in the 'cell' when Cronus is ready to go to the conclave. Unless you are ready to head back without him?"

The single semi-alert Jaffa reached out and shook one of his fellows, "Jaffa Kree!" he called, waking the other three from their apparent waking slumber. "How are we here?" he asked.

The other three guards were returning to awareness now, so Xander turned to them and using the last bit of his control told them, "You want to take us to our cell now, and insure we are not disturbed. Perhaps bring us some twinkes or something to snack on."

The lead guard, unsure of exactly what was going on, but aware he had severely failed his god by bringing the prisoners to the flight deck instead of to the brig gripped his Staff Weapon and pointed it threateningly towards Xander and Cat. "You are going to the brig, now."

His fellows seemed to follow his lead as they also pointed their weapons at the pair, and this time all four remaining behind their prisoners, directed them back through the corridors towards the brig.

They had locked the pair into the cell, energizing the barrier, and moved to take up positions outside the brig, when one of them turned to another and asked, "Have you ever heard of something called a twinkie?"

The second guard looked confused as he shook his head, "I have not, yet I have a strange urge to find some and bring them to the prisoners."

Mayborne jerked awake as his alarm went off.

It was three in the morning, and he had to check on the samples, insure that they were being kept cold. He found to his frustration that the sherbert had already melted, leaving a mess on the floor, and all over the Styrofoam cube the samples were stored in. What was worse, the melted sherbert was only cold to the touch, no where close to the temperatures from the refrigerator in the infirmary.

But where could he get more ice cream at 3 in the morning. It wasn't like he could just go to the kitchen and... Or was it?

He swiftly got dressed then headed for the cafeteria. While the chow-line would be closed, the SGC was a 24/7 operation, and there should be someone there, someone who could give the Colonel a bag of ice. In the worst case he could just fill up a large glass for 'ice water' and bring it back to his room. With any luck, he could get enough to keep the bloody samples cool the rest of the night. And if he couldn't, well, he'd just have to come up with yet another plan.

Cat stepped casually through the force field of the cell, then began curiously prowling around the control center of the brig.

Xander walked up to the force field and tapped it, feeling the energy spark painfully off his fingers as he did so. "How did you do that?" he asked Cat.

Cat, distracted by the computer console on the desk shrugged at her husband without turning, "I went past it."

"Can you do it again, and show me?" Xander asked.

Cat looked up, realized he was still stuck in the cell, and made her way back to him. She reached out and passed her hand through the plane of the field, waving it around and making a pretty aura effect in the energy.

"Just make it go around you. It's not even real, just a bunch of energy in a pattern held in place by more energy in another pattern. Or, you could just ignore it and force your way through, the worst it could do is kill you for a while."

Xander felt what she was doing in his mind, and tried to do the same thing, first taking a finger and instead of touching the energy field as he had done before, he sort of pushed it around, his finger leaving traces of energy distortions apparently writhing behind it in the air along the plane of the force field. Since it wasn't hurting, he did as Cat was doing, and placed his whole hand on the field, then, he also simply stepped through. As he did so, he realized that this was about the same as the automatic reaction he had made to Bast's hand device, when he dissipated the energy from her attempted attack on them.

"Cool" was all he said, as he also looked around the small brig with curiosity.

There were six cells, two on each wall, with the entry/exit door in the fourth wall. He could somehow feel two of the Jaffa who had brought them here on the other side of the door. From what he could pick up off of them, they were guarding the door so that Xander and Cat wouldn't be disturbed. He idly wondered where the other two guards had gone, as he turned his attention to the computer which had so interested Cat when she had first left their cell.

It didn't take him long to realize he couldn't use the computer at all. Heck, he couldn't even read it, the screen displaying a combination of odd shapes he assumed were an alien language. 

Finally, his curiosity overcame his reluctance, and he approached the door to the hallway, rapping softly on it with his hand, even as he reached out once more to the two minds beyond it, swiftly enveloping them in his will.

The door swished open, and a glimmer of surprise at finding the two prisoners out of their cell flashed across one of the guards eyes, so Xander focused on him and ordered, "Come here. Close the door behind you."

As the guard obeyed, his partner took up a stance dead center of the door, continuing to prevent any unwanted intrusion.

Xander looked at the guard he had brought into the room, both with his eyes and his mind, also noting the mind of the baby Goa'uld slumbering fitfully within the man's stomach as well.

Finally he asked, "Can you read the screen and use the computer?"

The Jaffa nodded, "I am a fully trained Jaffa warrior."

Xander smiled, then said, "Good. I need you to do something for me. It may hurt a bit."

"Yes sir." The Warrior acknowledged and stood ready to accept Xander's command.

Feeling more than a bit guilty, Xander pushed some more, and ordered, "I want you to go to sleep. Now."

Suddenly the Jaffa's body slumped, and Xander caught it, before it had a chance to start to fall to the floor. Turning the man's head to expose the jugular in his neck, Xander bent down and bit him.

As his victim's lifeblood began to flow into Xander's mouth, so did his life's memories flow into Xander's mind. A few minutes later, the warrior still alive although significantly anemic at this point, Xander moved back from the man's neck, gently laying the body on the floor. He reached out with his hand, laying it across the still bleeding wound, and focused his quickening much as he had done the day before with Bast's host, and pushed some of his own energy into the Jaffa's body, healing the wound in his neck and restoring some of the lost blood from other sources, leaving the warrior dehydrated as opposed to anemic. Even as the body began to stir, he turned towards the computer, reading the screen without effort as he logged into the system using the Jaffa's commander's own access codes, the guard having seen his superior using them many times before but never paying attention.

"What are you doing?" Cat asked, one eye on the guard who was now sitting up and looking around the room with an extremely confused look on his face.

"I figured I might be able to find out how much time we had before this cavalcade thing." Xander replied.

"Conclave. And it's scheduled to start this afternoon." Cat replied.

Xander turned away from the screen, having just pulled up the ship's schedule and route, and asked, "How do you know that?"

Cat shrugged, "It was on the surface of Cronus's mind when he was at the SGC."

Xander nodded, accepting that Cat could have easily been scanning the Goa'uld's mind while Xander had been busy talking to him.

"Anything else?" Xander asked, logging out of the computer, his efforts now entirely unneeded.

"Only that he plans on bringing us there in chains, with a large armed escort as befits two dangerous terrorists." Cat replied.

"Oh, is that all." Xander answered, leaning back in the chair and fixing his gaze on the still somewhat dazed guard. "You should go get some fluids. You are very thirsty and need to have something to drink. Then you can come back and continue to guard the door."

The guard nodded absently, then made his way out the door and down the hall. 

As the door slid closed once more, Xander frowned and looked at Cat. "I hate doing that. It makes me feel dirty somehow."

Cat looked confused, "Doing what, consuming his blood and his memories, or pushing his mind around?"

"Both, actually. But the pushing around is what I really don't feel good about. Too much like a bully shoving a little kid around on a playground just because."

"But you didn't do it just because, you did it for a reason. You did it to gain information." Cat explained.

"And the field trip to the hanger bay? I mean, that was cool. Probably the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life, at least not having to do with you, but still. What right did I have to take over their wills and make them do what I wanted, instead of what they were ordered?"

Cat shrugged, "I don't know. They follow Cronus because they believe he is a god, and they will be punished or killed if they disobey or displease him. They followed you because your will was stronger than theirs, and they did not object to your commands. I was there, you didn't force them. Even with the Jaffa here just now, you didn't force him to do anything, he volunteered. Granted, he had no idea what you were asking him to do, but even if you hadn't been controlling him, he would likely have helped you if he didn't fear getting punished for it later."

"So all I did was make them do something they would have done otherwise? Somehow I don't think they would have led us to the hangar bay on their own." Xander complained.

Cat smiled and sat on his lap. "They might have, if you asked them, and they hadn't been afraid of Cronus."

"I suppose so. If we really have several more hours before we have to go to the concave thing, perhaps there is something we can do to pass the time?" Xander asked.

Cat grinned lasciviously and tossed a glance at the door, mentally altering it so it could no longer be opened, guards or no guards. Then, she manifested a large four poster bed right in the center of the guard room, using Xander's trick to not quite make it real, so she could more easily dispose of it later, and said, "I think there is. This is our honeymoon. Tell me my husband, have you ever fantasized about having sex in the brig of a star ship?"

Xander grinned and started pulling off his clothes, "In the brig, no. But when I was growing up I had this Captain Kirk fantasy with this green skinned slave girl...", suddenly he halted, looking across the bed at what had been his wife.

The Orion slave girl who had suddenly taken Cat's place was incredibly sexy, almost as sexy as his wife's normal appearance. But the image was so literally right out of his fantasies that he mentally skipped a beat for a bit. Then his mind shut down completely and the body took over. Or perhaps the libido. He was never sure. But it was a good thing the brig was empty.

Mayborne was up early in the morning, a second cup of ice supplementing the first on top of his home made cooler.

He was a bit worried about the integrity of the samples, since the sherbert had melted completely last night, but as he recalled from biology prions are not even as complex as viruses, and thus are supposedly even harder to destroy or damage. And the Dr. had said it was the prions in Alexander's blood that worried her.

Still, he was quick to log on to the blind email account to check on the status of the courier.

And then he was cursing again.

It seemed that the doctor had noticed the theft somehow already. Security had been tightened on the mountain, and a low priority and quiet search was on for the missing samples.

Harry looked at the sodden mess on his floor, several dirty towels and a plastic bag doing their best to protect the carpet, but he knew that any even cursory inspection of his quarters would turn up the vials. And there wasn't anyplace secure he could stash them where they could remain cool enough to remain intact, and also avoid detection.

Checking on the status of the courier, he cursed again. Apparently the tightened security had necessitated a change in plans, now the carrier would have to be highly customized so as to avoid detection by the several security stations between the SGC and the surface.

He couldn't expect the man until that evening at the soonest.

Worse, he had to report for his own duty cycle in an hour.

This was turning out to be a really crappy day, and it hadn't even started yet.

Mayborne headed for the shower, his mind turning over and over as he tried to think of a possible plan of action, one which would leave his cover intact, and himself out of jail.

Cat suddenly looked up, and climbed off the bed. "Time to get ready." She said. "You want clean clothes?"

Xander crawled off the comfortable bed, making his way groggily to his feet and said, "I think I can clean them myself. Worst case I can un-make them then make them again, now that I know the trick."

Cat grinned and unmade the bed, changing her own outfit for a new one in exactly the same style as she picked up Kusanagi and carried him into their cell, past the force field.

Setteling herself on the unfomfertable cot in the cell, she watched her husband as he struggled conventionally into his pants, one leg at a time, before pulling them up and buttoning them closed. Looking up he saw her grin and asked, "What?"

Cat giggled and said, "You know you can just make them on you, you don't have to make them then put them on. Now hurry up, Cronus is almost here with his guards. We need to relieve our own guards, they should be inside here guarding us, not out there guarding the hall."

Xander nodded, then made his way over to the door, which he knocked on. A control was hit from outside to open it, but the door failed to move. A faint pounding could be heard from the other side as the control beeped again and the door shuddered once more.

Cat said "Oops! I forgot about that!" and concentrated on the door for a moment, after which it jerked violently before sliding open the rest of the way in silence.

Xander looked at the two gaping guards. "Come inside. Take up your stations. Cronus is coming and I don't want you two to get in trouble."

These were the two guards who had been absent before, now the one Xander had bitten and his companion were gone. "By the way, where are the other two guards?"

"They are searching for twinkies. We want to get some, but do not know what they are or where they may be found. How are you out of your cell?" the Jaffa who had been the most alert that morning asked, closing the door to the brig behind himself and moving to check on the controls for the force field, which showed it securely in place.

Xander shrugged and said, "I had to get you guys, didn't I?"

With that he walked back inside his cell, the field swirling colorfully in his wake.

The guards were still gaping at the fading ripples of light when the doors to the brig opened once more, this time to reveal Cronus and several new Jaffa.

"Get up you two. It is time for you to meet the Conclave of System Lords." Cronus called out as he strode into the door.

Two of the new Jaffa moved to stand before the now fully stabilized force field until it shut off with a flash of light and heat as it collapsed. They moved inside the cell, while another pair still outside covered Cat and Xander with their Staff Weapons. The closer Jaffa were holding sets of manacles, such as would be used for transporting dangerous criminals.

Cat and Xander stood still as the Jaffa clamped the manacles around their wrists and ankles, but as soon as the Jaffa started to move away Cat twisted the reality of the manacles in the opposite way Xander had twisted his clothes to make them real, pushing them from existence and leaving little more than an illusion of the manacles behind, although one with sound.

Cronus smiled coldly at them and said, "We have arrived at Baal's home system, and will be ringing over to his cruiser for the Conclave. I recommend you both remain on your best behavior, if you do so things will go much easier for you. But I won't mind it at all if you wish to do things the hard way."

Xander looked down at his illusirally bound hands and shrugged, feeling the weight of Kusanagi move on his back as he replied, "I make no promises, but I'll try not to kill anyone who doesn't get too close to me."

"As I said, it's your choice. Your fate is essentially sealed, all you can hope is that they believe you have no association with the Tau'ri, and decide not to void the treaty. If they do, I will lose face, but the planet of Earth will loose everything."

At that Cronus turned and made his way out of the brig.

The new guards roughly shoved Cat and Xander forward, out of the cell, past the two older guards who were sill watching the couple with more than a little confusion on their faces. As she passed, Cat said to the one who had seemed to be in charge, "There are four Twinkies in our cell on the floor under the cot. Share them with your fellows, and enjoy them as a thank you for taking care of us during our stay."

The older guard nodded sagely at her, although he was still trying to figure out what exactly was going on.

Harry sat at the desk, manning his post where he acted as an interface between the normal operations of Cheyenne Mountain and the SGC which was hidden beneath the larger, more public base. SGC's cover story was 'deep space radar telemetry', and to maintain this cover, the SGC did indeed monitor several deep space radar installations, specifically a project called 'comet search', which provided the marginally useful function of searching out and tracking the paths of comets, to predict potential collision courses with the Earth, or incidentally any other known objects. This endeavor was hindered by the fact that comets tended to change their orbital profiles in unusual ways as they passed the sun, their shifting mass, orbital interactions, and physical contact with the sun's photosphere causing sometimes radical changes in speed and vector. But most of the work was done by computers, which were manned by a team of technicians dedicated to keeping them happy and seemingly productive. But someone had to man the phone, to be able to call in the rare event a potential collision was predicted. And today that someone was him.

It was arguably the most boring job in the entire SGC, even worse than guard duty, where you could at least walk around, since this job demanded you remain at the desk until relieved, which only occurred after four hours. And it didn't help that his ice was melting.

Faced with the impossibility of hiding the samples in his room in the event of a search during his absence, Harry had decided his best bet was to take them with him.

Fortunately he had the large soda cup he had obtained that morning from the cafeteria which he had filled with ice water. He had slid the sample bottles, which looked pretty well sealed, into the 64 oz. cup of ice before leaving his quarters that morning, shredding the Styrofoam block he had previously stored them in, and discarding the pieces in his trashcan, then cleaning up the mess from the ice cream and sherbet and discarding that as well.

Now the cup sat on the corner of his desk, with a small ring of water around it where it had condensed and run down the sides earlier that morning.

The problem, as Harry saw it was that the water was no longer making a ring, which meant to his mind that the cup was now too warm to condense water out of the air. When he shook it gently, it still clinked softly, but Harry wasn't certain if that was ice clinking or just the small specimen bottles. He feared it may just be the bottles. But he couldn't abandon his post to go get more ice, and his relief wasn't due for another fifteen minutes. Harry feared it would be a long fifteen minutes.

The rings shot up into the ceiling, leaving Cronus, Xander, Cat, and several Jaffa warriors standing in a large, mostly empty room.

Another group of Jaffa, dressed in different colors, stood facing them. The one closest to them, who had a golden emblem on his forehead stepped forward and saluted Cronus. "I am L'Mak, first prime of my lord god Baal. He welcomes you to his new super-Ha'Tak mothership, and invites you to join him with the rest of the System Lords in the conference hall."

Cronus nodded, and simply said, "Lead the way. I wish to give the conclave my new present."

Samantha Carter stood on the Asgard cruiser, and looked at the scene Thor was relaying back from the Conclave.

The small alien had some sort of multidirectional video pickup system concealed on his person, allowing Sam and Daniel to see all around him as though they were there themselves, as long as they remained in the center of the room.

It was mildly disconcerting as the view shifted whenever the alien moved through the room, but the illusion of actually being there was almost perfect the rest of the time.

"I don't see Cronus anywhere. Do you suppose he hasn't even arrived yet?" Daniel asked Sam.

"They used a stargate, Daniel. They should have been here a while ago. I think Cronus is being deliberately late, so Xander and Cat will have the greatest impact."

"I don't get why Cronus is helping us though. Even if his reputation would be damaged by the collapse of the treaty he helped negotiate, it still doesn't make, oh look, there is is, just coming in the door."

Cronus marched in at the head of his party, leading Xander and Cat proudly behind him, their wrists and ankles bound with silvery chains. Daniel noted that Xander was still wearing his sword.

Apparently Sam noticed it as well, for she asked, "Daniel, why would Xander be allowed to keep his weapon if he is a prisoner?"

Daniel shook his head and replied, "There is no reason, unless somehow it has been rendered useless, perhaps it has been glued into its scabbard or something. But now that I think about it, Xander kept his sword with him the entire time he was at the SCG, and no one ever questioned him about it."

"Actually, my father asked the General why he was wearing a sword when he first saw Xander. But other than that, you are right. Even my father didn't question it further after that. Do you suppose Xander or Cat do something to insure no one questions them about it for some reason?" Sam replied.

Daniel shrugged, "I don't know what they could do, but it is possible. There are legends of 'magical swords' who's bearers can carry them everywhere they go unopposed. Perhaps this is the basis for such stories?"

"It could be. Oh, looks like things are starting up." Sam answered.

Xander looked at Cat and tried to communicate to her mind-to-mind without actually speaking out loud, 'Cat? Does this work for you?'

Cat glanced at him and offered a grin, as her voice seemed to come from the copy of her inside his head, 'Yes. This is cool. How did you know this would work?'

Xander shrugged, 'I didn't. It feels funny though. I was just wondering, do we need this illusion of the chains anymore?'

Cat shrugged, 'I don't think so. Do you want me to drop it?'

Xander nodded, 'I think we can be more convincing if we don't appear to be helpless prisoners. You aren't going to just kill them all, are you?'

Cat shrugged, 'I had thought about it. It might be hard though, there are a lot of them here, and their slaves are more or less innocent, I don't want to harm them needlessly.'

Xander nodded, 'It probably wouldn't do any good in any case, kill these and new ones will just take their place. We need to scare them so they leave Earth alone somehow.'

Cat looked speculative, 'All they would fear or respect is a stronger enemy. I can kill them, or I could try to adjust them all like I did to Anise, put their human slaves in charge of the bodies, but I don't feel active minds in many of these, it seems some of these Goa'uld have actively crushed the personalities of the bodies original owners. A few of them feel insane. I don't think the results of switching control would be worth the effort.'

Xander nodded, 'And same as if you killed them, others would just take their place. No, we need to scare them to the point they won't dare attack Earth again. Even after we leave.'

Cat nodded, and even as the illusion of the manacles faded away she thought back at him, 'I'll see what I can do. Just follow my lead.'

Xander hugged her in his mind, a thoroughly unsatisfying experience, and answered, 'Always my love, always.'

Cronus came to a stop in an open area before the assembled Goa'uld around the room. As he stood there a silence slowly descended on the room. He caught the eye of a particular Goa'uld, who nodded, then he took a breath, and spoke. "My fellow System Lords, I bid you greetings, and I apologize for my tardiness, however I had to make a side trip on my way here. Everyone knows why this Conclave was called, the despicable murder of one of our number, Bast, in her own throne room even, in an apparent violation of the Protected Planets Treaty which forbids the Asgard from arming other races against us."

Cronus made a vague gesture behind himself, not bothering to turn around and continued, "I have brought to you the two humans who committed this act, that they may be questioned, and the truth determined as to if a violation occurred or not." he now gestured at the Asgard in question, who was standing to one side of the crowd of Goa'uld and Jaffa, "Thor, supreme commander of the Asgard has assured me that no violation occurred, and that they had nothing to do with the technology involved."

A murmer made its way around the room at that, as the other Goa'uld, the one who had nodded at Cronus stepped forward and stood before him.

Sam looked at Daniel and asked suddenly, "Weren't Xander and Cat chained up when they were brought in?"

Daniel glanced at the couple, and said, "Yeah, those. Uh, they were. I think."

They certainly weren't anymore though. Cat stood there with a placid expression of boredom on her face, as Xander stood beside her his arms casually folded across his chest.

"Cat looks bored. Somehow I don't think that's a good thing." Sam noted, as the other Goa'uld, who they knew was Baal, the System Lord hosting the Conclave, and arguably the most powerful of the aligned Goa'uld started to speak, "So, you brought the pair here for Judgement? Very well, let us see those who would attack their gods."

Xander watched as Cronus responded to the request, announcing almost like the Master of Ceremonies at an awards presentation, "My lord Baal, my fellow System Lords allow me to present you my prisoners, the humans who claim responsibility in this matter."

At that prearranged signal, the Jaffa behind Cat and Xander, unable to see that they were no longer restrained in any way simply gave them each a shove forward, expecting the move to knock the shackled prisoners to the ground at the feet of the two powerful Goa'uld.

Instead both Cat and Xander seemed to simply lurch forward, then continued to walk, taking long strides until they came to rest in the exact center of the room. Cronus noticed that the manacles were missing, and shot a look of confusion and anger at his First Prime, Na'Yor, who was staring in openmouthed shock at the two unrestrained prisoners, his attention suddenly allowing him to note the sword Xander wore openly on his back.

Baal looked at the pair of humans before him then sneered. "It is customary for one to kneel in the presence of a god."

Cat looked up at him and shrugged, "If that is your way, then you may do so." As she said that her eyes flashed green for a second, and every Goa'uld in the room suddenly fell to their knees, unable to move their lower bodies at all.

Cronus and Baal looked up now at the two humans who stood before them. Cronus spoke first, "You realize nothing will save the Tau'ri now, don't you?"

Xander frowned, then stepped closer to Cronus and scowled down at him, "You don't seem to realize the situation here. I don't care about these Terries you are referring to. Although if that's a name for the people from Earth, then perhaps you should be very careful - my wife grew up there a long time ago, and has always held a soft spot in her heart for that planet and it's people. About the only thing which could piss her off worse than threatening it would be to impersonate her family, such as Bast was doing by taking her mother's name."

Seeing his god threatened, Na'Yor lifted his Staff Wepon and fired a blast at Xander.

Cat glanced up as he fired and simply looked at the energy as it hurtled through the air towards her husband, but made no move.

Everyone in the room was shocked when the blast passed harmlessly through Xander and instead impacted on Cronus, blowing the top of his head off in a spray of blood and scorched flesh and bone.

As Cronus's form toppled forward, his knees still apparently glued to the floor, the Goa'uld emerged from the corpse, slithering onto the metal deck in front of Xander.

In a flash Kusanagi was in Xander's hand, and the lights of the room reflected off the polished metal of the blade as it swung down and sliced into the slithering form coiling itself before him, cutting a groove also in the metal of the deck in it's passing as though unaffected by either obstacle. Xander then bent slightly to wipe the ocher of Cronus's blood off the blade on his former host's body, before resheathing it in a single smooth motion.

The Jaffa in the room were stunned to immobility both at the sight of their gods kneeling unwillingly to the two humans, and the sudden unexpected death of Cronus. Only Na'Yor responded, casting aside the Staff Weapon which had inadvertently led to the death of his own god, and hurtling his body at Xander.

Cat looked at Na'Yor and frowned, and even before he arrived his form seemed to writhe and change, shrinking and twisting until instead of a man, a genuine rat was what impacted at Xander's feet.

Xander looked down at the furry grey form as it launched itself up at him, and with a look of disgust he batted it aside out of the air, actually floating himself for a moment as he hovered over the rodent before frowning and suddenly falling on it with his boots at a great speed, its small body crunching under the impact of his feet. He looked at Cat and asked, "Was that really necessary?"

Cat shrugged and replied, "It seemed like the thing to do."

Daniel was in shock. But at least his mind was still processing events.

Sam beside him was muttering about conservation of mass, and inconsistent effects of gravity. Whether she was muttering about the man being turned into a rat, or Xander's apparent ability to fly he wasn't sure.

Baal had finally gained enough composure to address the woman he found himself kneeling before. "Wha, who are you?" he asked.

Cat smiled at him and replied, "I am the Goddess known as Cat, daughter of Bast, the true Bast, not that worm which was impersonating her who I killed, and wife to Alexander, Protector of Man, Chosen Champion of the Elder God Janus."

Xander frowned at the use once more of his full title, the effect looking more like he was scowling at the Goa'uld for daring to address his wife.

"What do you want, and could I please stand?" Baal asked, a slight whine creeping into his voice.

Cat shrugged, and suddenly the Goa'uld all felt the force pinning their knees to the deck dissipate, allowing them to rise once more to their feet.

As he stood, Cat answered him, "I want you to all go away. But I'll settle for you leaving the planet Earth, and everyone on it alone."

Baal shrugged, "It is one of the Protected Planets. By our treaty with the Asgard we won't attack it. But that only goes for those of us who are aligned, those of us here today. We can't speak for the other Goa'uld out there."

Cat scowled, and said, "No, but you can explain to them that I would be very displeased to hear of ANY harm befalling either that planet or it's people, even if they left their world and went exploring."

Baal frowned at this and said, "You may be powerful, but you are nothing more than an individual. The Goa'uld are numerous, and each has their own ships, or fleets of ships. Why would they collectively fear your displeasure?"

"Because if they don't I'll have to send ships or fleets against them." Cat shrugged. "And they wouldn't like that."

"What ships?" Baal asked, unwilling to show fear before the short blond girl.

Cat simply smiled and closed her eyes.

The pilot looked down at his controls, pushed a few buttons, and seeing everything on the console green hit his transmitter. "Red five to Red Leader. I'm starting my run."

"Roger that Red Five." The voice came back.

The pilot then looked out the window of his small cockpit to get a visual on his target, and frowned. It should be easily vissable at this range. He looked back down at his instrumentation and his scowl grew, "Uh, Red Leader, it's gone!" he called out in concern, looking back at the empty space where the other ship had been moments before, and wondering where it could have gone.

To be continued in Chapter 21, "Black Jack, Push, or Bust?" 


	21. Knight Errant Part 21 – BlackjackOrBust

Part 21, "Blackjack, Push, or Bust"

Cat opened her eyes again and locked them onto Baal. Having no clue as to the significance of her action, Baal opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by one of his Jaffa running up to him.

"Lord Baal, an unknown object has just appeared in the system!" the Jaffa called out.

Cat smiled and said, "That'd be the ship I just brought. Here, let me make a display so you can see what they are looking at." With that she waved at a nearby wall, which seemed to suddenly develop a video display covering most of it's surface.

On the display was a Ha'tak mothership, one of those owned by one of the other System Lords at the conference, slightly obscuring a huge white vaguely triangular shaped spacecraft, with some out of focus mottled grey object in the background.

Baal looked at the alien ship, taking in it's relative size based on the Ha'tak in the foreground and determined it was roughly the same size as the new super-Ha'tak they were in at the moment. "That is an impressive vessel, I agree. But again, it is just one ship. What could a single ship do that would effect the hundreds of independent Goa'ulds?"

Cat shook her head sadly, "That's not the ship. That's just one of it's tenders." She said, then pointed back at the screen, which was now zooming out.

The Ha'tak and the white vessel continued to shrink, becoming little more than motes on the screen as the image backed out, until finally a large planetoid could be seen in the background, it's slow rotation revealing huge embedded dish on one side.

Cat spoke again, "That's the ship."

Baal blinked, trying to scale that monster against anything he had ever heard of, and failing. It was literally the size of a large planetoid, or even a moon. But even so, other than carrying an unimaginably large invasion or attack force, he couldn't see what use such a large ship could be other than as an enormous target. "I agree, that is quite a ship. But still?"

Cat quirked an eyebrow, then waved at the screen again, calling out, "Lord Vader!" Suddenly the display changed, showing a black clad figure apparently made out of metal. It turned towards the screen.

The figure bowed slightly, and a deep, metallic voice issued from the screen, "Yes, mistress?"

Cat pointed behind her out the actual window of the cruiser, at the barren planetoid around which they were currently orbiting, and said, "Destroy me that moon."

The figure bowed again, and said simply, "Yes Mistress.", before turning away from the screen.

The screen changed to a long-shot which included the super-Ha'tak mothership they were currently in, as well as the moon sized spacecraft, it's relatively small white tenders, the various other Ha'tak's in the immediate area, the Asgard cruiser, the moon below them, and the large gas giant they were all orbiting.

On the screen the huge space ship could be seen rotating to bring it's dish into alignment with the moon visible outside the window.

Orders could be heard shouted off-camera from the screen in which the back of the metallic figure was still visible as he directed his crew.

Suddenly, energy pulsed through the dish on the moon-sized spacecraft, and a beam fully as wide as the Ha'tak itself flashed through space just outside the window on its way to the planetoid below. Which promptly exploded, debris splashing outwards in a shower of fire and rock, the gas giant's surface suddenly visible in the space previously occupied by the moon's surface as the glare of the explosion faded. The gravity wave caused by the explosion caused the Ha'tak to shudder, as Cat closed her eyes again, concentrating on something, and the debris from the moon which were beginning to impact on the ship's shields with increasingly violent force suddenly rippled like a mirage, and vanished, leaving empty space behind.

Xander leaned over and whispered something into Cat's ear as she opened her eyes again, a glimmer of mischief visible in his eyes as he did so. 

Baal looked awestruck at the now moonless scene visible through the window before turning his attention to the screen and asking the figure there "Wha, who are you?"

Xander stood back up and Cat's expression looked confused but indulgent as she turned her attention back to the screen, where the metallic figure suddenly jerked and said "This is CNN.", before the display cut off.

In the long shot display, now taking up the whole screen, the huge planetoid and its support ships rippled, much like the exploding moon had moments before, an then it too was gone.

Cat turned back to Baal and said, "That is what one ship can do. Now how many ships do you think I should send to deal with your brethren, or can you manage to reign them in yourself? I have to warn you, the next time won't be a warning shot, and not a single one of your species will remain by the time they are done, this you can be sure of."

Baal shuddered and raised his hands, "Uh, no. That's quite all right, no need to send more of CNN here. We'll talk to them, er, make sure they know what could happen, and that they know to leave Earth alone."

Cat nodded, then raised her hand, a portal opening in the middle of the air just before herself. "Mark my words, worms. No longer shall you pretend to be gods, least you anger the true gods, for we are not a forgiving people. I am Cat, and I have spoken."

Cat then reached out a hand to Xander, who took it and together they stepped through the portal, which suddenly vanished behind them, leaving only the crushed dead rat, the sliced dead Goa'uld, the body of his former host, and a missing moon behind to mark the fact that they had ever been there.

The Goa'uld System Lords looked at one another, even as their Jaffa did the same. Things had changed, and none of them knew how.

Samantha Carter was apoplectic as the residue of the moon simply vanished, the orbits of all the objects in the system shifting slightly as a result of the sudden removal of its gravity well. "You can't do that.", she said yet again.

Daniel Jackson looked at her and asked, "CNN?"

Sam just continued to shake her head, "You can't do that. That was a movie. This is reality. Movie characters don't just appear, and exploding moons don't just disappear."

Daniel realized it was going to be a long trip back to the SGC.

Xander and Cat emerged from the portal on the road in front of the gate leading into the base which housed Cheyenne Mountain. Xander looked at Cat and finally asked, "The death star?"

Cat shrugged, "I remembered the movie. Since I wanted to impress them, I thought it was a good idea. It was just an illusion, after all. Granted, it was a BIG illusion, but still, it wasn't real or anything. Even I don't have that kind of power, I mean my brother and I are stronger in many things than our Mom, probably because Janus is an Elder God, now that I think about it, but even he couldn't create something as big as the Death Star."

"Then what did you do?" he asked.

Cat shrugged, "I did a few things. Part of it was the new trick YOU showed me. I made an illusion of the Death Star, and made it almost real, like your disappearing clothes. Then, I pushed the real moon all at once, and that was the hard part, so it wasn't really real anymore, but was only almost real, again like your clothes or more specifically the Death Star."

"Ok, so you made the moon an illusion. How can you do that but you can't make a Death Star?"

Cat shrugged, "It's easier to undo something than to do it. To break than to make. And I was dealing with the moon as a single object, so conceptually it was no different than a shirt or a pair of pants, those are made up of many little parts, but I never pay attention to them, just the object they are a part of. I wasn't sure I could do it, but once it worked, I knew the rest would as well."

Xander was still confused, "What about the debris from the explosion? I felt the ship shudder as the gravity wave hit, how could the moon have gravity if it wasn't still real?"

Cat's expression was a bit unsure as she said, "It had gravity still because it was almost real, like your clothes were. They had texture, and moved when you touched them, right?"

Xander nodded, "Aside from that little twist, they seemed normal to me in every way. So, to get this straight, you made a fake Death Star, then untwisted the moon so it was fake as well. What would have happened if you had put that twist onto the Death Star?"

Cat thought about it for a bit then said, "I don't think I could have. But if I could, I guess it would have been really real, instead of just an illusion somehow. I'll have to try that sometime."

Xander shook his head, "Not with the Death Star. Try it with something nice, like a puppy dog or something."

Cat grinned and slapped him softly, "I can manifest a puppy dog the normal way, that wouldn't prove anything. Anyhow, after I blew up the moon, when it was going to hit the ships, I just dispelled the illusion, which was all the moon was at that point, again, as a whole even though it was blown up, it was still the moon, so it worked, which is good because even though it wasn't really real, it was real enough it would have smashed every ship there with the debris, despite their shields. Then I dispelled the illusion of the Death Star, and we came here. Why did you want Darth Vader to say 'This is CNN'?"

Xander laughed, "It was either that, or 'Simba, you have forgotten me.', from the Lion King.

Cat looked confused, then said, "Oh, the movie. Same voice. I get it."

Xander grinned and looked at the guard shack in front of them. "So, why are we here? Are we going to tell the General that earth is safe and then take off for Vegas, or what?"

Cat shrugged, "Well, we were kind of interrupted by the worms, and I sort of owe him for accidentally letting those two people get in. I know he said he didn't need our help, but still."

Xander nodded. "Ok. Plus, I'd like to talk to the Dr. about those pion things she saw in my blood."

Cat nodded, and took his hand as they made their way up to the guard, who they asked to call the mountain for them and tell them they were here.

The pilot blinked as the spacecraft suddenly reappeared out his window, hanging in space as though nothing had happened.

"Uh, Red Leader?" he asked, hesitantly.

"Go ahead, Red Five.", the voice came back.

"Um, it looks like it's back. They must be testing some sort of cloaking device or something. We have to take this thing out now. I'm resuming my attack run. Wish me luck."

"Good luck kid.", the voice came back.

On the bridge of the Death Star, the captain looked at Lord Vader and swallowed. He had been fighting the urge, but couldn't help himself any longer. "Lord Vader, if you don't mind my asking."

Vader turned and gazed at him passively. Eventually he asked, "What is it Captain?"

"Um, what is CNN?" the captain asked.

The guard looked up as the two civilians approached his position.

His eyes swiftly took in their casual dress, the odd lack of a vehicle, and the sword the young man was wearing on his back, which he admired briefly for how it matched with his jacket, but promptly dismissed as unimportant. "Can I help you?" he asked, sliding his window open to address them. People didn't often walk up to the front gate of the Cheyenne Mountain complex.

The girl spoke first, "Yes. Could you please contact General Hammond and let him know Cat and Xander are back, and were wondering if he would like to see us before we headed to as Las Vegas to resume our honeymoon."

The soldier recognized the name, but was also aware that the General and his people were involved in a highly classified project, one which he himself was not cleared for, and which he was pretty sure was not public knowledge. Therefore he decided that he really shouldn't acknowledge the General's presence. "I'm not familiar with a General Hammond, but if you want I'll call into the mountain and see if anyone knows him."

The guy grinned and said, "Sure. But if someone tells you there is no General Hammond, be sure to get their name, because the general may be quite cross later on if he learns he doesn't exist, and want to talk to them about it."

The airman took the hint, and called in to the Officer of the Day.

It was less than fifteen minutes later that a frustrated looking Jack O'Neill made his way to the front gate, slightly out of breath, apparently having run a good portion of the way.

Clutched in his hand were two photo ID badges, bearing Cat's and Xander's faces, but only their first names.

"What are you two doing back so soon?" he asked, as he handed them the badges and instructed the airman to let them through the gate, and not to ask for signatures, or make any record other than the note '2 VIPs SGC, Gen GH Col JO Ok' in the entry log.

As they walked away from the gate and made their way towards the tunnel entrance to the mountain, Xander said, "We went and talked to the Goa'uld. They promised to be nice from now on."

Jack just stopped walking. "They, promised to be nice?" he asked. "How many did Cat kill?"

Xander shrugged, "None. I killed Cronus, but that was more a case of a misunderstanding than a deliberate action on my part, his First Prime shot at me, killed Cronus's host, the worm came out and I sliced it when it looked like it was going to try and jump at me for some reason. Then his First Prime tried to jump me, Cat made him a rat for some reason, and I stomped on him, broke his back."

Jack just stared at him. "Rat." He said.

Xander shrugged. "She wanted to impress them. I suppose she thought turning someone into a rat while all the Goa'uld in the room were on their knees before her might do the trick."

"The Goa'uld were on their knees?" Jack asked, moving to catch up with Xander and Cat, who hadn't stopped.

"Well, they told Cat it was customary for people to kneel in the presence of gods, so she obliged them, and made them all kneel." Xander explained.

Cat spoke up as they walked past a guard station, the Airman saluting O'Neill, and briefly inspecting Cat's and Xander's IDs. "I told them that if anything happened to either Earth or anyone from it that I'd be mad."

Xander suppressed a giggle as he added, "And you wouldn't like her when she's mad."

"We just thought we should let the General know not to worry. Also, Xander wanted to talk to your doctor about the prions, I think she called them, that she found in his blood." Cat said, with a glance at Xander.

General Hammond looked up as his 2IC came in, leading the young couple who as far as he knew should be halfway across the galaxy at a meeting with the Aligned System Lords and the Asgard. "How is it that you two are back so soon? I would have expected the conclave to have barely begun by now."

Xander shrugged, "We went, we spoke, and we left. They agreed to leave Earth and it's inhabitants alone from now on."

Hammond looked a bit surprised, "They what?"

Cat said, "I warned them that if they ever took any actions I disapproved of, I would make my displeasure known, permanently."

"And at that point, we left, while they were still off balance from Cat's little speech." Xander concluded.

"If they ever give you any more problems, just let us know, and we'll come back and end it once and for all." Cat answered. "I have had more then enough of those arrogant puffed up little worms. If I ever have to deal with them again, I'll bring my brother along and set him loose. He enjoys meeting out justice."

"How exactly are we to let you know we need your assistance? I was under the impression you were visiting from an alternate reality of some sort.", the General asked.

Cat just shrugged, "Pray. It should work wherever I am, it's a God thing. Any time someone prays to us, we know it. It's how I knew a bunch of my Mom's followers tried to start a cult to worship me a while ago - I felt them, asked my Mom about it, and she told me it was a prayer. She then had her priests look into it, identify the cultists, and keep an eye on them."

"What happened to them?" Jack asked.

"Oh, they gave up after a while. I never answered them, unlike my Mother who would put in occasional appearances and even intervene on occasion. Plus, they had a hard time gaining converts, since no one could say my name." Cat explained.

"No one could say Cat?" Jack asled.

Cat giggled, "Cat isn't my True Name." She gestured, and an Egyptian looking scroll appeared on the general's desk covered by an intricate hieroglyph, depicting something round and solid, yet Jack thought he saw the sign for water, overlaid on a symbol for cold, something like rain, and a sign for soft. "That's my True Name, given my by my parents upon my birth. No one could say it, because no one ever gave it a pronunciation. In fact, the word was only a concept, something never seen in Egypt. I was named it specifically so that my name could not be spoken, in an attempt to thwart a prophecy. Not that it worked. Eventually, I was kidnapped and taken to Hell, where Xander here rescued me, and not knowing what he was doing, he spoke my True Name. Names have power over us, and by giving me my name, he became bonded to me, and I to him. But if you are going to pray to me, you will need it. Just please, insure NO ONE ever finds out what it is, because as I said, True Names have power. The right being, with my True Name, in the right circumstances could bind me or enslave me. They could summon me and command me. Which is why many beings conceal their True Name, using instead a Public Name, which in my case is Cat. Cat Harris. But my True Name wasn't even used at my wedding."

"So what is it?" Jack asked, looking again at the hieroglyph.

"Cat, would you mind?", Xander asked, looking at his wife.

She just smiled and vanished.

A small, fluffy white cat now stood on the General's desk. Xander reached out and lifted the cat lovingly into his arms, idly scratching her stomach as he held her upside down. "I found her set up for a sacrifice in a Demon Lord's demesne. I killed the guards, cur the kitty free, and ran for our lives. I didn't think we had a chance of making it. But somehow, we ended up outside, still running. We had a guard and some hellhounds in pursuit, when a portal opened up in front of me. I dove through, feet first, actually, and the demon and the hounds followed. I tossed the cat to safety and turned to face them on the other side of the portal, which had opened into a forest. I killed them, with a bit of help, then I made my way through the woods, found a road, and eventually a truck came by and offered me a ride. And the kitty jumped into my lap. The driver asked me her name, and I thought about it, about the chance I'd thought we'd had, and her color. The name was obvious."

Jack and Hammond both looked puzzled. Finally the General spoke, "Obvious to you, perhaps. But not to me. What did you tell the driver her name was?"

Xander smiled and set the cat back down on his desk, "Snowball. As in 'A Snowball's chance in Hell.' Seemed appropriate to me at the time."

Jack started laughing, "A goddess named Snowball?"

Xander frowned, and the cat hissed at him. Suddenly he got really quiet and started studying the hieroglyph again.

"So, this is supposed to be a snowball?" Hammond asked following Jack's gaze back to the scroll.

Cat returned to her human form and smiled, "Yeah, it never snows in Egypt. So who would create a word for a ball made of something no one had ever seen? They thought it was really clever, creating a hieroglyph for a word which didn't exist, and never explaining it to anyone, not even me."

"So how do we use this to pray to you?" Hammond asked.

"Just hang it on a wall, or set it on a table. Light some candles, make an offering, and ask for my help. You can think my true name while you do that, and I'll almost be compelled to appear, but just calling on the Goddess Cat, wife of Alexander should work. Tell me, or rather the ideogram what you ask of me, and if I deign to grant your request, the candles will flare and the offering will vanish. If I refuse to help you for some reason, the candles will just go out, or will vanish entirely. If it and the candles remain unchanged, then try again, this time go ahead and use my True Name out loud. If it still doesn't work, then something is really wrong. It doesn't mean I didn't hear though, just that for some reason I was unable to respond. Like when I was held prisoner in Hell, even had someone summoned my by my True Name, I was already bound, and would have been unable to comply." Cat explained.

Jack nodded, "One last question. What is this offering?"

Cat looked speculative for a moment, then she suddenly grinned, and held something out to Jack.

He picked the plastic wrapped object up from her hand and looked at it, turning it over, then shaking it, as though expecting it to rattle or something. "Is this?"

"Yep. A Twinkie. Xander got me hooked on them. Traditionally the offering is a bit of sacred food, but I like Twinkies. Just keep a box around, with the scroll and a pair of candles. You can probably keep them in the same box, I understand Twinkies have like a five year shelf life. Just replace them on occasion, because I wouldn't be happy to have a stale Twinkie as my offering."

Xander just grinned.

Harry sat in his quarters, looking at the vials he had stolen the day before.

He cursed the instant the idea had crossed his mind. They had proved to be nothing but trouble, first the challenge of keeping them cool, something he had massively underestimated. He thought he had been so clever with the idea of using ice cream to chill them, but all that and the sherbet had gotten him was a mess on his carpet which he would eventually have to explain to the cleaning crew.

The cup of ice was a far better idea, but even that had proved useless over the course of his duty shift, the water being almost room temperature by the end of his interminable sentence at that damn desk.

And now the computer informed him that the courier was on-site, but having problems due to the heightened security.

And by now the damn samples were probably useless anyhow. He wasn't sure what the shelf-life of a blood sample was supposed to be when not refrigerated, but he didn't think it was very long. Certainly the almost warming last night coupled with this afternoon's warm up couldn't be good for it.

And even so it had only been a long shot, based on the fact that Dr, Fraiser had felt that Xander's 'condition' may be communicable. Through the prions she had detected in his blood. 

He should have left her alone, allowed her to isolate the prions, and then stolen them after arranging for transport in advance.

He was an idiot, and he knew it.

There was a knock on his door. Harry slid the lid back on top of the now refilled cup of ice and water, and went to open the door. Hopefully it was the courier and these stupid samples wouldn't be his responsibility anymore.

Cat followed Xander into the infirmary.

Dr. Fraiser looked up from her desk at the entrance of the pair. "Xander, Cat?" she asked, confused. "I thought you would be off with the Goa'uld at that conference thing about the treaty?"

"We went, we talked, we left." Xander explained. "The worms, as Cat calls them are unimportant. The stuff you said you saw in my blood is. Can you check both of us again, and compare the samples?"

Janet blinked, "Uh, as far as comparing the samples, no. The original samples have disappeared. In fact, if you hadn't both been off-world, I would have wondered it you hadn't had something to do with it. But I can certainly draw some new samples and check both you and Cat to see if the levels have remained constant, or if the infection in your wife has increased. I can't imagine it increasing in your samples, everything was pretty much saturated with them from what I could see."

Cat offered an arm, "Please check. I may have cleared them out, but it would be nice to be sure."

Janet was reaching for a needle but paused, "Cleaned them out?" she asked.

Cat shrugged, "In the general's office I changed myself twice. I used that opportunity to I suppose you could say reset my template, essentially creating a whole new form, instead of just changing the existing one. It is a bit harder, but easier to do than massive healing for an example. If it worked, then we can either kill Xander and see if they go away while he is dead, or if not, I can try and teach him how to do what I did. We already know he can change his form, he just doesn't know how yet."

Janet wasn't sure what to make of this. However she went ahead and drew some blood from Cat, then drew some more from Xander.

After a brief examination of Cat's blood under the microscope she pushed back from the desk and looked at her amazed, "There isn't anything in your blood. Not prions, not even the normal contaminants which build up over time. It's amazing."

She turned back to the microscope and started looking at Xander's blood. And continued looking. Occasionally she made an odd sound.

Fifteen minutes later Xander coughed gently to get her attention.

Janet looked up, shocked, "Oh, sorry. It's just. I was mistaken. You don't have a prionic infestation in your tissues. You have at least eight of them, all different. You should be dead."

Cat looked at her husband, then back at the doctor, and back at Xander again, who shrugged. "We can try.", he said simply.

Cat nodded, then moved to stand behind him. "Doc, get another pair of needles. We want you to take two more samples."

Janet frowned and got afresh needle from the box, then started walking towards the couple. She was less then three feet away when Cat reached out and with a viscous twist to his head calmly broke her husband's neck, then grabbed his body before the corpse could fall to the floor.

Sergeant Stemson looked at the frazzled colonel before him. He was wearing a rumpled uniform, carrying a cup of ice water, and looked like he hadn't slept in a week.

"Can I help you?" the colonel asked.

"Seargent Stemson, sir. You are Colonel Harry Mayborne?" he replied.

The Colonel nodded, "Yes."

"Good. I hope you have a package for me? I've been trying to pick it up for over an hour, but you weren't here." The Sergeant replied, trying to hide the frustration in his voice. He had been ordered to obtain these samples at any cost, a direct order had included injecting the samples straight into his own body if he had to, in order to get them out of the facility. Of course that was a last-ditch option, only to be considered if they had tightened security to the point that he honestly felt the concealed carrier would not make it through. He was distressingly close to making that call already, however he would scout the guard stations one more time before he risked his life for his country to that extent. He was aware that the samples were hoped to be useful in developing a super soldier program, and that he was a match for the blood type of the samples, however no one knew if the actual contents could be sucessfuly extracted from his own body after being diluted with his own blood. Or what the side effects of such an exposure would be, he had been informed that these samples had become important because a Dr. worried that the original doner's mutations may be communicable. He wasn't sure what those mutations were exactly, just that he was able to kill aliens with apparent ease. "I was starting to worry you had been detained against your will."

"I was. I was detained sitting for hours on end behind a desk, waiting for a phone to ring which never does. Here, these are the samples. Get them back to the NID ASAP. Make sure they focus on extracting the prions as a first priority, I am not certain of the continued integrity of the samples. They have not been kept as cold as I would have preferred. Make sure the researchers know that.", the colonel said, passing him the cup of ice water.

Inside the cup, he found two vials of blood, still liquid, which gave him a measure of confidence that they would be ok still. His mission was still on.

"Thank you sir. I'll be sure to let them know." Stemson said, as he saluted the colonel and slid the vials into the hidden compartment of his briefcase. There was nothing to keep them cold there, so he had to move fast to get to his vehicle and the cryogenic transporter stored there.

Janet overcame her shock at the casual murder, remembering that Xander was supposed to be like the Immortals from that TV show, and if so then he would be fine, as long as Cat didn't remove his head.

She shoved a needle in his arm, using the visable vein as a guide, as with Xander dead, his blood was no longer flowing.

She extracted a sample, and rushed it over to the microscope.

A swift examination showed the prions still there, but in far lower concentrations.

She moved back to get another needle, but even as she reached the box, Xander gave a loud gasp, and sat up.

Janet continued her task, collecting a new needle, and swiftly drew a third sample.

An examination of this newest sample showed only a few prions left, but even as she watched, one of them reproduced.

Janet took a fourth, fresh sample, and found that the prion count was even higher in that sample. And by the time she got around to taking a fifth sample, the counts equaled those of the first one. Even though it made no sense, she was willing to voice a speculation. "It looks like while he was dead some factor of his physiology acted against the prions, destroying them. But for some reason there were some which did not seem to be effected by this attack, what would make these different from the others I don't know. But these 'core prions' seemed to provide for an impossibly fast re-infection once Xander regained consciousness. Without understanding the mechanism which destroyed the bulk of the prions better, I couldn't begin to speculate on a more viable treatment. Perhaps repeatedly, er, killing, Xander might somehow clear out those core prions, but if they are indeed immune to the effects which destroyed the bulk of them, then that probably wouldn't have much effect. I just don't know. I've seen a lot of strange things in the last couple of years since I came here, but this is the most, fascinating case I've come across."

Xander looked speculative, then his eyes suddenly widened. "Lucy!"

Cat whirled, her face changing to one of cold fury. "What has Lucifer to do with this?"

Xander raised a hand and shook his head, "No, not directly. It's what he said. He mentioned that snacking on his minions could have consequences. Perhaps their tissues contained the original prions. It would make sense, since there are at least eight different ones,"

Janet interrupted, "Actually, with the lower concentrations, I was able to identify fourteen distinctly different prions, and some others which I'm not sure if they are different or not. There could be more than twenty separate types. At least."

"Yeah, well I snacked on lots of different demons over the twenty odd years I spent in hell. Well over twenty different types. If each of them had a different type of these prion things, then there could be lots of different ones in my by now."

Cat nodded, "Aspect of the demon. Of course, your own physiology would likely suppress then bulk of them, possibly incorporating ones it found beneficial, which would explain the way you were able to command the enforcers, even with the age of your Vampire, that was more than you should have been able to do. But if you'd eaten from a Kaltak demon, they have no mouths, you could have obtained the mental abilities they use to communicate and hunt, but without the normal insanity and death most humans would suffer, because you already had a measure of the talent, and the ability to control it. Who knows what suppressed talents you've obtained from Lucifer's minions. No wonder he was so upset. And when you are dead, your Quickening wipes out all the infecting prions, but because the original ones are demonic in nature, it can't kill them as easily. It makes sense."

Xander nodded, "I remember that one, actually. It had glowy blood. Kind of sweet tasting. But nothing ever happened to me after I ate any of the demons. I'd remember if I suddenly was reading minds or something."

Cat frowned, "Have you tried?"

Xander shook his head, "No. Why would I? I know that if I drink someone's essence I can touch their mind, drink their memories, skills, and knowledge along with their blood, but not without that contact. It's the blood that does it."

Cat shook her head in response, "Perhaps. But try it sometime without the blood. You might be able to do it all y yourself. Perhaps the Dr. here would be willing to volunteer to let you take a peek in her head, without biting her."

Janet looked like a deer in the headlights at the sudden thought of someone invading her head. Xander felt the concern and worry radiating from her suddenly, and said softly, "No. I don't think I want to try it unless I have to." Then he realized something. He had FELT the concern and worry from the Dr. Not through Cat, but directly. Perhaps Cat was right after all.

"So, if killing me won't do it, what should we try?" Xander asked, to change the subject.

Cat shrugged, "We can try reforming you from scratch. Like I did with myself. That'd clear out any prions or anything else that wasn't a part of 'you' in your body. I think you should be able to do it, since you managed to make yourself a cat yesterday, and were late able to resume your normal form. Resetting your template is a bit trickier, as you have to actually destroy your body and reform it from scratch, instead of just changing it from one form to another one, but the process is the same, essentially."

Janet just watched as the two conversed, discussing shifting their forms as though it was nothing more unusual than changing clothes. These two were certainly an, interesting couple.

General George Hammond sat in his office, looking at the preliminary report he was preparing for the president, outlining the SGC's contact with the entities Xander and Cat, when his phone rang. The black one, not the red one.

"Hammond here." He answered tersly.

"General, this is Janet Fraiser." The voice from the other end came instantly.

"Xander and Cat aren't giving you any problems, are they?" George asked, with more than a little concern.

"No, they are talking about trying a new treatment to remove the prions from Xander's blood. But it's those prions which prompted my call. Remember we are missing the earlier blood samples taken from Xander and Cat when we did the first examinations? Well bassed on speculation from both Cat and Xander, I am inclined to recommend sealing the mountain until we can locate those samples."

"That seems a little extreme, Doctor. What's the reason?" George asked.

"Well, if they are right, those prions come from demons, literally from hell, sir. And are indeed contagious, able to cause people to exhibit demonic traits. Xander was forced to feed on them over the course of his stay there, apparently he was trapped in hell for over twenty years, and demons were one of his few food sources. The important thing is that exposure to those prions could conceivably cause detrimental mutations. Cat mentioned that one demon, which Xander acknowledged having been exposed to, caused uncontrollable telepathy leading to insanity and death. Sir, if those samples are compromised, who knows what the results would be." Janet explained.

"So you are recommending sealing the entire facility until we find them? I can't do that Doctor. I will meet you half way though, I'll step up security to insure they can't be smuggled out under any circumstances. I'll also instigate a room to room search. If they're still here, we'll find them."

"If that's all you can do, General, then I'll just have to hope it's enough. Thank you Sir." The Doctor said, then she hung up.

General Hammond had just finished relaying his orders when light flashed throughout his office, and Thor, accompanied by Sam and Daniel appeared in the middle of the room.

Sergeant Stemson looked again at the checkpoint at the end of the hall. Security had been stepped up yet again. It actually looked like anyone trying to leave was being led away for a discrete search, and based on the apparent gender segregation of the parties involved, he assumed a strip search to one degree or another.

He looked again at the briefcase holding the samples in it's false bottom. An old, simple, yet effective trick. But if they were going to the extent of stripping officers to check their clothes, then the case would almost certainly be subjected to enough inspection to disclose it's simple ruse.

Which left him with only one viable option. He changed his direction, making his way to the closest restroom. He'd have to carry the samples out himself. He just hoped the Doctors were right that he'd be in no immediate danger, and that they should be able to isolate the prions later and remove them if they proved harmful. The things he did for his country.

Janet watched in fascination as Cat changed from a human to a white cat, and back again.

Then suddenly, Xander changed as well. Where he had been standing was now a black cat. The cat looked up at her and meowed. It then walked over to Cat, who picked it up, and said, "Good. Now change back, like you did the other morning."

The cat meowed again. But nothing happened.

Cat changed once more, leaving two cats and the doctor in the infirmary, and that of course was when the General came barging in. "Dr. Fraiser, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak with your, guests for a moment."

Doctors Daniel Jackson and Samantha Carter followed the General into the room, trailed shortly by the Asgard alien, Thor.

General Hammond looked around the room, his eyes missing the two cats on the floor, "Did they leave?" he asked.

Cat resumed human form, and stepped away from Xander, who was still stuck as a black cat.

"No, we're still here. Hello Dr. Jackson, Dr. Carter. Thor. What can we do for you General? The Goa'uld haven't been a problem already have they?"

Jack O'Neill came bustling into the room at this point "General, you wanted me to meet you here, sir?"

The General fixed his gaze on Cat and answered, "It seems Xander and Cat left a little out of their report."

Jack looked around the room, noting Cat, and the cat on the floor.

"Like what, sir?" Jack acked, confused and wondering if Xander was somehow the cat, and if not, what it was doing there.

"Like how they BLEW UP A MOON to convince the Goa'uld to leave us alone, or did it by using the god dammed Death Star!"

The black cat suddenly shimmered an Xander was standing there once more, answering Jack's questions about it's presence, but raising one about why Xander was a cat in the first place.

Xander cleared his throat, but Jack had just finished processing what exactly General Hammond had said, and he asked, "Darth Vader's Death Star?"

Thor answered, "Yes. Lord Vader of the CNN. You know of him?"

Jack now looked really confused. "Uh, Thor, buddy, Darth Vader is a movie character. He's not real. Neither is the Death Star. Oh gods, we are so going to get sued if Lucas ever finds out about this."

The General was ignoring the byplay however, his gaze still fixed on Cat, "Well? Did you or did you not destroy a planetary body just to prove a point?"

Sam spoke up, "It's not possible. First the Death Star is a creation of fantasy, it simply can't exist, the physics behind it are fundamentally flawed for one thing, the energy requirements are so excessive for another, it's simply impossible. Then there's the moon. It didn't just blow up, Sir. I mean, it did, blow up, that is, but then it just disappeared. And that can't happen either. The conservation of mass and energy, for the mass of a moon to go away it would have to be converted to energy, and that much energy released at once would have been cataclysmic. It just couldn't have happened."

Thor replied to Jack, "He said he was from CNN when Baal asked him."

Jack shook his head, "Thor, Vader was from a movie. He was the villain, representing an evil empire. CNN is a news network."

Thor blinked at that, "Do they have many such ships? Cat implied that she could dispatch an entire fleet of them should she so desire. The Goa'uld were quite distressed. They were unable to detect either the mechanism for the arrival or the departure of the ship and it's tenders, nor were they able to determine what actually happened to the moon after it blew up. Many of them speculated that it had been a staged set up, but others pointed out that set up or not, the moon was gone. And anyone who can remove an entire moon from the middle of a fleet of Ha'tak motherships without detection regardless of the method was not someone to cross."

"CNN doesn't have any ships, Thor. The Empire had just one Death Star. It got blown up, they built another, and that got blown up too. But it was just a movie. Or rather, a series of movies. They are making a new in the series one right now, actually."

Cat finally answered, "They weren't taking me seriously. They seemed to only respect force. So I showed them force. It seemed to work."

Daniel responded, "Sir, some of the Goa'uld were talking about relocating."

Hammond looked at him, "What was that, Dr. Jackson?"

"The Goa'uld, some of them were considering leaving the galaxy. They were wondering if there was a way to find where Cat was from so they could be sure not to go there. They were pretty impressed, Sir."

Hammond cleared his throat, "Irregardless of if this impressed the Goa'uld or not, the fact remains that Cat used a weapon of mass destruction in our name, and without our authorization. This is not an acceptable situation."

Cat raised her hand, much like a kid in school would, "Uh, General?"

Hammond turned back to the goddess, "Yes?"

"Uh, it wasn't real, you know." Cat explained.

"What wasn't real?" Hammond asked.

"The Death Star. It was an illusion. Like Xander's clothes had been, just before we came to this dimension."

Hammond wasn't tracking what Cat was trying to say, "You blew up a moon with an illusion?"

Cat shook her head, "No. First I made the moon an illusion too."

"Made the moon an illusion too. Would you care to explain that to me?" Hammond asked.

Cat frowned, then looked around the room. Finally she reached out and plucked a pillow from a bed there. "Ok, this is a pillow. It has always been here, and it is real, right?"

Hammond nodded. Cat then reached out to empty air, and handed the General a second pillow. "And this one, this is a new pillow. It wasn't here before. But I made it real, so it's just like the first pillow."

She gestured at the bed she had removed the pillow from. There was a pillow on it still. "That pillow isn't real at all. It's an illusion. Try and touch it."

The General shifted the two pillows to one hand, and reached the other out to the new pillow on the bed. His hand went right through it, and a look of surprise blossomed on his face.

"Now set the other two pillows down." Cat indicated. General Hammond shifted the other two pillows to the bed, next to the one which only appeared to be there.

"Now try and touch them, I made all three illusions." Cat said, gesturing.

Hammond reached out and waved his hand through the three pillows, none of which offered any resistance.

Cat continued, "And as such, I can simply let them go whenever I want." All three of the pillows vanished.

"But that was a simple illusion, what Xander calls a glamour. But what Xander showed me the other day is different on many levels, yet still is no more real then the pillows were." She picked up two pillows which weren't there before and set them both on the bed. "This one, the pillow on the right, is just like the pillow which was always here, it is completely real in every sense. The other one, this one on the left, it isn't. It is more an illusion, like the pillows I just dismissed were."

General Hammond reached out his hand to pass it through the pillow, but only managed to knock the pillow off the bed. "That seems pretty real to me.", he said, picking it up off the floor.

"It is, as long as you remain here in this dimension. But it really isn't. I'm not sure what is wrong with it, exactly, but it's not really here at all. Sam can run some tests on it and see if she can find the difference, but I bet you anything that if you take both pillows through the Stargate, only the real one will come out the other side with you, because as tangible as it is, the other one is still just an illusion."

"So how does this pertain to your summoning the Death Star and blowing up a moon?" Hammond asked, as Samantha took possession of the two pillows, Cat calmly settling a new one onto the bed to replace them.

"Well, Xander figured out a way to create the illusions which were almost but not quite real. He didn't know what he was doing at the time, but he figured it out. And he figured out how to make something which wasn't really real, real. I just reversed the trick on the moon, I made the moon not really real. Then I made an illusion of the Death Star, made it solid, had it blow up the solid, yet fake moon, then dismissed the illusion before the explosion could hurt anything."

Hammond frowned, "And the people and installations on that moon? What about them?"

Cat shrugged dismissively, "There weren't any. I checked for that before I started doing anything. I even made sure the Death Star was created where it wouldn't hit anything, and where it's shot would miss, barely, but still miss the ship we were on."

Hammond nodded, "Ok. I'll have to take your word on that, I suppose. Please refrain from destroying celestial bodies in the future however, unless you get permission first."

Cat smiled, "Got it. No opening portals in the SGC, and no blowing up moons without permission."

Jack cut in, "Ya know, moons, planets, comets, meteors, maybe even suns would be nice."

Cat nodded earnestly. "Ok."

"Very well. Doctor, I'm sorry for bothering you." Hammond said, then he turned and headed out the door, followed by Thor, Sam, and Daniel.

Jack however turned back to Cat and asked, "Now, about that Death Star, I don't suppose you could whip me up another one, could you?"

Cat started to reply but Xander cut her off, "No. Like she said, all she could do was make an illusion of it in the first place. Sorry Jack, but you'll have to find your own Imperial Shipyards if you want a Death Star. That was just a one-off to scare the Goa'uld."

Jack sighed and nodded, "Of course. Always the same answer. All I want are some phazers and some photon torpedoes, but no. Humans are too primitive. You'll shoot your eye out." Still muttering to himself he turned and headed out the door.

To be continued in Chapter 22, "Ascension" 


	22. Knight Errant Part 22 – Ascension

Part 22, "Ascension"

Sergeant Stemson idly scratched the spot where he'd injected himself with the blood samples. He knew the itch was just a psychosomatic reaction, but still it seemed to itch. And he had to scratch.

Soon he'd be through the last of the check points though, and could head to the airport. As soon as he got to the car he'd have to call Nevada and let them know he'd had to use the backup plan, damnit, and to have the white coats standing by to give him that full body transfusion they'd mentioned as a first step in recovering the prions if Plan B had to be used. He never thought he'd be looking forward to a transfusion.

Xander looked at the closing door, then turned back to Cat. "Sorry about that. But giving the Air Force a Death Star would be a really bad idea. Giving them even the idea you could give them a Death Star is a really bad idea. Forgive me?"

Cat smiled and gave him a deep kiss. Breaking it after a few minutes, she smiled and said, "Now, I want to see you yay big and furry. If you manage to reset your template, I'll forgive you even more."

Xander closed his eyes, and focused once more on being a cat.

Opening them again, he looked up at the now larger seeming infirmary, before closing his eyes again and trying to picture himself as a normal Xander shaped person once more.

Janet moved in as had been planned, and drew some blood. As soon as she was done, Xander once more pictured himself as a cat.

Kitty Xander watched as the now enormous Janet drew yet another sample of blood, this time from his shoulder. And it hurt. A lot.

Concentrating again, he resumed his normal shape once more.

And Cat kissed him. "I think you have the cat down. Now we have to work on something else. So, what do you want to try? Tiger? Bear? Dragonfly?"

"Dragonfly?" Xander asked.

Suddenly a large four winged insect was floating in the air before him. It swooped around the infirmary for a bit before coming back to hover with a buzz before him, then it was once more replaced by Cat. "Dragonfly. It's fun."

"Um, I think I'll stick with tiger. It's just a bigger cat."

Cat shook her head, "No, it's a tiger. If you try for a big cat, that's what you'll get. A big cat. Try for tiger. Don't forget the stripes."

Janet ignored the pair and concentrated on her last two blood samples. Both samples showed the prions still. But the most interesting thing was the DNA from the last sample, it was NOT human DNA, yet it shared several of the strands that Xander's normal DNA did. Apparently there was something consistent with his DNA regardless of form. She wished she had the equipment to actually sequence the DNA in real time. But the cutting edge equipment she did have was only able to display the grosser structures, and allow her to make general comparisons.

She turned around at a growl from behind her, and noted the zebra striped tiger on the floor before a laughing Cat. Who ever heard of a black tiger with white stripes. She wondered if she could get some DNA, then looked at the teeth, and changed her mind.

Sergeant Stemson had finally made it outside the mountain, and into his car. Getting through the heightened security had taken over an hour. And he felt every ticking second of it.

He knew he was losing it, as he could almost swear he felt the prions spreading throughout his body. He knew logically that any effect they had would take weeks, if not years to show. But a part of his mind was certain he could feel his nose melting, or his ears falling off. Although a glance in the mirror was more than enough to convince him it was all in his head. Although that head did look a little larger than it should. What did he expect though, looking in a rear view mirror.

He was placing the call to Nevada even as he pulled out of the parking lot on his way to the airport. At least he had a jet and pilot waiting for him, and wouldn't have to worry about extra delays from catching civilian or hitching a ride on military flights.

Xanderfly soared through the air of the infirmary, dodging around the huge instruments and zooming towards the enormous form of Dr. Fraiser. Landing in top of her monitor, he tried to say 'Help me', but could only manage supersonic sounds undetectable by the human ear. Well so much for the movies. Granted, he was a dragonfly, and not a real fly, but the idea was still the same. He took off again, buzzed over the doctor's shoulder, and came to a halt in front of Cat.

Cat smiled, and Xander concentrated on is normal form once more. And he found himself hovering in the air still, but in a Xander shape.

Dr. Fraiser caught a reflection of his form floating horizontally in the air and whipped her head around to look at him, more astonished by the fact he was floating there than she had been at his shape- shifting for the past two hours.

He swung his body back to a vertical position, and settled to the ground. Janet shook her head, "I forgot that Vampires could fly."

Xander smiled at her, "Most can't, fortunately. Where I come from the local vamps are pure demons inhabiting a corpse. They're bad enough as it is, if they had persuasive mental powers and the ability to fly, well, let's just say the war between good and evil would have been called a while ago on the account of no more good left anywhere to fight."

"There's different types of vampires?" Janet asked, confused.

Cat nodded, "At least twelve major types, although several of those are found together in many cases. But most can be split into two major families, Souled and Unsouled. Souled vampires still retain their core humanity, however tainted. Unsouled are nothing more than another type of demon. Often they are expressions of pure evil."

"So Vampires are not lost lonely souls wandering the night eternally looking to get laid, like in the movies?" Janet asked.

"Some are. Which is where the movies come from. But most aren't." Cat explained. She looked at Xander, who was staying human and said, "By the way, it's time for you to try the next part. Resetting your template. This is where you will have to actually unmake yourself, essentially releasing your body until all that's left is your awareness, without any physical form to it at all. When you get that, then you have to restore your form, only not the old one, but a totally new one based on the old one. Just like when you become a cat, only this time you will be becoming a Xander."

Xander nodded, and focused on trying to change into nothing. It was a lot harder than one would think. In fact, while trying to become nothing, he shifted forms rapidly from a cat to a mouse, to a small pink elephant, before reverting to his normal shape once more. "Um, Cat?"

"Yes?" she asked.

"How do you think of nothing? I mean, I tried, I really did, but every time I would picture a blank, something would rush in and fill the void. And now all I can think of is lunch. Can we take a break and eat?"

Janet looked at the clock in shock, "Lunch? It's dinner time. Tell you what, let's all knock off for a bit, grab some chow and relax in the rec-room for a bit."

Xander was swift to agree, and off they went.

Sergeant Stemson tried to relax as he climbed out of the jet at the NID's labs in Nevada. Loosely attached to Area 51, the NID maintained it's own secret facilities for working on items it's agents brought back through the Stargate.

He was no longer convinced the itchiness he had been experiencing was psychosomatic. During the flight, his head had swollen to the point he'd been forced to remove his helmet. None of his clothes seemed to fit right anymore either, and he was shocked to find he actually seemed taller when he emerged from the increasingly cramped cockpit of the fighter which had ferried him here from Colorado Springs.

His skin was all red, and he itched all over. He looked at one of the waiting officers, and growled, "Medical. NOW."

When the officer just stood there, he moved forward and lifted him from the ground with a new strength, "I said NOW, sir. Let's move it." He then set the officer back down and followed as the man took off almost at a run.

After eating a large dinner, Xander followed Dr Fraiser to what she referred to as the Rec Room, apparently a room set aside for relaxation when the various personnel could not leave the base for whatever reason.

It consisted of a large room with ping pong, and air hockey tables, video games and pin ball machines, and a huge projection screen TV. The TV was currently tuned to the Sci-Fi channel.

As they made their way into the room, Janet noted the show and groaned.

"What is it?" Xander asked.

Janet shook her head, "It's called Wormhole X-Treme! An alien we let remain at large ended up as a technical consultant for a TV show, it's about well, you'll just have to watch it. At least, oh, rats."

Jack O'Neill and Teal'c had just entered the room, and upon seeing Xander and Cat made their way over, until Jack caught sight of the attractive brunette in desert camouflage on the big screen talking to a large bald silver tinged man, also in cammo.

"Not Wormhole X-Treme! I'd hoped they'd canceled it finally!" Jack complained.

Sam, who had been standing in the doorway unnoticed watching the show spoke up, "Actually, Sir, I think they just renewed it for another season."

Jack just groaned, and Xander had to ask, "What's so bad about this show?"

Jack pointed at the screen. "Ok, that guy with the fake hair, he's Nick Marlowe, who plays 'Colonel Danning', the leader of the team. The busty brunette behind him, that's Y olanda Reese, playing 'Major Stacy Monroe', a brilliant astrophysist. Now, that guy over there, who actually looks like Daniel? He's Raymond Gunne, the actor who plays Dr. Levant, a brainy archiologist. Finally, the silver guy, he's a robot named Grell, who used to work for the bad guys until Colonel Danning convinced him to change sides. He's played by a really good actor named Doug Anderson, not that you'd know since he never gets any lines."

Teal'c nodded and said, "Indeed."

Xander turned towards the seats, and settled down to watch the show, SG1 reluctantly joining him as their counterparts cavorted on the big screen.

Xander was having a blast.

Every time one of the character on the screen did something ridiculous, Xander would provide a Mystery Science Theater type voice-over.

About the only member of SG1 he didn't pick on was Teal'c, as Grell the robot seemed to be as stoic, and silent, a Teal'c himself.

But like all good things, the episode came once more to an end, Colonel Danning kissing his alien-babe-of-the-moment farewell, and he and his crew threw themselves back into the ancient ring to return to their base, where they were met by the fat, old, General in charge, who was smoking a cigar, an affectation Xander had a hard time pinning on General Hammond.

As a promo for the next show, something called "Dark Reflections" flashed across the screen, suddenly Daniel Jackson, who had been sitting quietly the entire time looked up, the turned his head to look at Xander, a truly evil smile on his face. "Xander Harris. From Sunnydale, California, right?"

Xander nodded, wondering where this was going.

"Do you know a Cordelia Chase?"

Now Xander looked really confused, "Yeah. She went to school with me. How did you know?"

Daniel smiled, "Does your wife know about your first girlfriend?"

Cat was confused now. "I think I met Cordelia at our wedding."

At the same time Xander said sharply, "Cordelia and I never even dated. I was a charter member of the 'We hate Cordelia' club in fact!"

"Yeah, well that's not what it says on TV."

"Huh?" Xander asked.

Jack's face had a sudden look of revelation, followed by a malicious smirk as he said, "Watch the TV, Skippy. You'll see."

Xander had a sudden sinking feeling, as Cat reached out and squeezed his hand. The commertials had ended and upon the screen was a shot of him, well, not of him, the hair was too long, the face a tiny bit off, butin a dark room, the person on the screen could have easily passed for Xander.

And then a familiar voice came from the screen, "Xander, honey?"

The camera panned out showing Cordelia Chase, Queen of Sunydale High, in bed with, well, him. "What is it, Cordy?" he asked.

"Something is bothering you. You are acting all angsty, like Angel or something." She said, reaching out and picking the on-screen Xander's hand up off the bed and rubbing it between her hands.

Cat glanced at Xander, then back to the woman with the Xander on the screen. "She does look like Cordelia, doesn't she?"

The On-Screen Xander was replying, "It's just that, earlier, I almost bit you. When we were making love, I was overcome by this urge. What if, what if I had lost control and hurt you? I'm a vampire, Cordy. The fact that I'm an Immortal, and never lost my soul doesn't repress the vampire side of me."

Cordelia leaned over across the bed and kissed her man soundly, "I don't see a vampire. I see the man I love. I know you would never hurt me, you couldn't. It'd be like Superman hurting Lois Lane. That's you and me, You're my Superman, and I'm your Lois Lane. Heck, you can even fly."

"But what if I did? You can't understand how close I came tonight. It was a reflex, automatic. What if I hadn't caught myself? I'm not safe to be around." The Xander on screen whined pitifully.

"But I know you won't. It's just not you." Cordelia said.

Before the on-screen Xander could reply, the phone began to ring. He answered it, "Harris here. You sure? Ok. Thanks for the head's up." He hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Cordelia asked, sitting up and brushing the hair out of her eyes.

"Buffy. She wanted me to know Faith's been seen in town with some new fledglings."

"What does she want now?" Cordelia asked rhetorically.

"Probably what she always wants, you dead and me as her evil undead lover. But that's not something she's ever going to get, and she needs to give up on it. I have my soul, and I always will. I'm not like Angel, where a roll in the hay will make me change sides."

"Let's test that theory one more time though, just to be sure." Cordelia said, settling herself on Xander's stomach.

"Ok." Xander said, then reached over and shut off the light. And as the screen went black, a reddish title frame rippled out of the darkness, 'Nick Midian's Dark Reflection'. Screen shots of the various characters followed, each captioned by the actor or actress's names.

"What is this?" Xander asked.

Jack was laughing out loud now, "This is what we are going to watch now. It's about this vampire/immortal hybrid who lives in a fictional town called Sunnydale with his girlfriend Cordelia Chase, and who fights vampires, demons, and the occasional criminal with the help of his sidekick Buffy Summers, the Vampire Slayer. "

One of the Airmen, who had been watching silently up to now turned around, "It's got to be one of the coolest shows ever. It's sort of a spin-off from Highlander, but with a twist. They took this character from a movie a few years ago who fought vampires as a cheerleader, and made it into a TV show called 'Buffy'. The show sucked though. They moved her to a new town, and the first few shows seemed to be all about her. She met these two guys, Xander and Jessie, and their friend Willow. But they were just background characters. No one even noticed when Jessie became a vampire, and Xander killed him. Not even Willow, his supposed other best friend. The real story was about the Slayer and her boyfriend the Vampire. It was almost canceled at the end of the first season but the executives wanted to give it another shot."

Xander just blinked, so the Airman went on, "So, instead of killing the lead, Buffy, as they had planned, they DID kill her, but then they had her friend, Xander go down with her lover the vampire Angel, and revive her. The second season, they tried making Angel evil. They also brought in a second slayer, a girl named Faith, who fell for the Xander guy. But the evil Angel kidnapped her and turned her. She died with Angel's blood, and Xander's name on her lips at the end of the second season."

Xander inturupted, "But this isn't that show, right?"

The Airman shook his head, "No. The producers knew they wouldn't make it another season. That's why they killed Faith at the end of the second season. She came back as an evil uber vampire in the third season, with a real fixation on Xander.

Meanwhile, the people who owned the Highlander franchise, which had two shows on at that time, Raven and the original Highlander, wanted to do something fresh. The audience was waning for their existing shows, and like the producers for Buffy, they saw the writing on the walls. Somehow they all ended up at lunch one day. And there was this young immigrant writer, working as a waiter. It's a cliché Hollywood rags to riches story, only this time for the writer, not the actor or actress. He heard them all moaning about their shows, and he asked why they didn't combine them, create a vampire immortal."

Xander blinked again, and the guy continued his story. "So they hired him on the spot, actually they challenged him to write a script and promised to hire him if it was any good. He wrote the final episode for Buffy, where Xander finally got caught by Faith, even as Willow cast a spell restoring Angel's soul, and Xander got killed, drained, and fed Faith's blood before he died. Then, in the last scene, Buffy and Willow were waiting for Vamp-Xander to rise, so they could stake him. And he did, and they did, but all he did was look down at the stake, pull it out, then leap into the air and fly out the window. And that was the last of the actual Buffy show."

Xander nodded, "Ok, so then how did this show come about?"

"Well, they kept it quiet while they shot, didn't even announce anything about the show, other than the title, which had the name of some writer no one had ever heard of before as a part of it. All sorts of buzz was going on about what the show was going to be. It was simply listed as an action adventure drama fantasy, with touches of humor. Then it premiered. Imagine all the fans of Buffy, who's timeslot it took, when they watched the opening scene, the same scene as the end of the Buffy series. And Xander flew out the window, only this time instead of staying inside with Buffy and Willow, the camera follows Xander out the window and into the night. He went to Los Angeles, where he ran into Duncan and Cassandra, learned about Immortals, was introduced to his teacher, a new Immortal named Michael Deveraux, created just for this series, and began to adapt to his new existence."

"But you said the series took place in Sunnydale." Xander said, looking at Jack in confusion.

"Season two. The first season took place in L.A. Season two was the return to Sunnydale, and the reintroduction of the original cast from Buffy. Since then it's been one of the most popular shows on the Sci-Fi channel. Did anyone ever mention that you look like Nicholas Brendan? I mean, tweak your nose a bit, and let your hair grow out, and you could make a pretty convincing Xander Harris."

Jack fell out of his chair laughing at the expression on Xander's face.

Xander finally adjusted to finding himself a tv character. After seeing the movie of Buffy he should have expected it.

"What's your name anyhow?" the Airman asked, "I thought I knew all the Civilian Consultants, I work in personnel after all."

Xander couldn't help it. "Xander. And this is my wife, Cat." As the Airman shifted his focus to Cat, Xander closed his eyes and focused on changing himself just a little bit, letting his hair creep out a few inches, tweaking his nose to match that of the guy on TV. By the time the Airman looked back, Xander had finished. "Xander, like the guy on the TV?" the Airman asked.

"Yeah, you could say he's like me though." Xander admitted.

"What do you mean, like you?" the Airman asked.

"Well, I'm from Sunnydale. While I've never dated Cordelia Chase, I've known her since Kindergarten, and she's been working the last year or so on becoming a real human being, and not a total bitch. I also know Willow Rosenberg, she grew up down the block from me, and I met Buffy a couple of years ago. So, you could say the TV show is about a guy like me."

"Well, at least you aren't a flying Immortal Vampire. What are you doing here anyhow? I really should have seen your file before you were brought in."

"Oh, that. Just helping with the Goa'uld. After all, one never knows when one may need to take a bite out of them to keep them in line." As he said that, Xander let his eyes glow, and lifted himself off the ground so he was hovering a few feet in the air, allowing his fangs to show in his smile. He then dropped back down to the ground, kissed Cat, and by the time he looked back at the now goggle-faced Airman had resumed his normal appearance. "Airman? Are you alright?" he asked.

The Airman just pointed at him, "You, you're a, I just saw you, but you can't, it's just a TV show."

Jack who had gotten back up off the floor looked at the Airman and asked, "Like Wormhole X-Treme?"

The Airman suddenly went pale, and turned around to face forward again. But all the while Xander sat fascinated, watching the actions of his fictional counterpart, the man would occasionally glance over his shoulder, as if to see that Xander was still there.

Sergeant Stemson glared at the stupid doctors. They had FUCKING LIED TO HIM!

He no sooner got to the lab than he found out they had no plans for a "Full body blood transfusion", that such a thing would be useless in the first place as the prions weren't isolated to the blood, they by their nature infiltrated the body's cells as they encountered them, much like a virus. And like a virus, antibiotics were useless. Worse, there were no treatments. One of the stupid doctors had even asked, "Don't you know about Mad Cow Disease? This is what makes it so deadly. Even if the host dies, the prions make it into the environment, and eventually something else eats them." They had fucking KNOWN that if he followed 'Plan B' that it was essentially a death sentence.

But they didn't know everything. 

One thing they didn't know was that he could hear them. It had started out quietly, but by now he realized he could hear their thoughts. Thoughts of how they were going to fucking watch him die, then harvest the prions from his body afterwards. All the while taking notes.

Another thing they didn't know was that the itching was getting worse. Damned if he was going to tell them anything more at this point. But even his bones itched now, and he hadn't thought bones could itch before today.

A final thing they didn't know, if it was the last thing he ever did, he was going to kill the bastards. Kill them all.

The SG1 team led Xander and Cat to a VIP Guest room, apologizing about the accommodations. Cat just smiled, and as soon as the door was closed, she started changing things. First off, she replaced the closet and the bathroom with a single bathroom, most of which was a Jacuzzi tub.

Then she changed the bed for a California King waterbed, which took up most of the room. But as she pointed out to Xander, what else did they need at the moment. She then proceeded to loose her clothes, and 'test' the Jacuzzi. Of course, she wasn't quite sure about the temperature, so Xander had to join her, and from there on, well, it's a good thing the cameras had been turned off in that room, otherwise Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee's video would have had some hot competition.

Morning eventually came to those under the mountain, and in the room assigned to Xander and Cat, it was signified by the phone which still existed somewhere under the waterbed's frame starting to ring.

Xander rolled over and reached out to grab the receiver and silence the muffled ringing, but failed, as all he could feel was the wooden base of the waterbed Cat had made the night before.

He looked over at the other side of the bed, but of Cat there was no sign. Not knowing what else to do, he tried to 'feel' the waterbed, and noting that it wasn't 'real', he dispelled it.

And fell with a splash to the suddenly soaking floor. Cat jumped to her feet with a perplexed screech of indignation from where she had also fallen.

The phone made a single electronic gurgle and died.

Xander looked around the now soaking floor, a good three inches of water covering everything, and then looked at his very wet wife. "Uh, morning?" he tried.

Cat just glared at him, then closed her eyes for a moment. The water vanished, leaving the carpets and everything else, including themselves as well perfectly dry, but the phone while no longer wet remained quite dead, when Xander lifted the receiver to check it.

"What was that for?" Cat asked, still unhappy about being woken up in a puddle.

"Um, the phone was ringing? It was under the bed?" Xander tried to explain.

"So?" Cat asked.

"So I didn't see you, and the phone was ringing, under the bed." Xander tried again.

"Couldn't you have just gotten the phone?" Cat asked, confused.

"I tried. But it was under the bed. So I got rid of the bed." Xander said morosely.

"And forgot about the water. It's called a water bed for a reason, honey. Next time just get the phone." Cat explained, before heading to the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

Over his link he could feel that her anger had already faded and she was doing her best to suppress the giggles which threatened to make her explode if she didn't let them out.

Xander looked around the now furnatureless room, and tried to remember what it had looked like before. He knew there was a Queen sized bed. So he tried to make one. Before this the largest thing he'd made was some clothes. But eventually he managed a simple, utilitarian looking bed, and not the overly extravagant Liberachi type thing he had somehow managed to make the first time.

He next replaced the desk, it wasn't the same as the desk that had been there, but it was a very nice desk if he had to say so himself.

He added a nice leather executive swivel chair to go with the desk, and a comfortable recliner and end table for the other corner of the room.

Cat finally came out and looked around the room with a smile. "Someone's been busy."

Xander shrugged, "I figured I should try and put it back like it was. I'm sorry I dunked you in the water. I didn't even see you in the bed."

Cat shrugged, "I was being a cat. I like being a cat, remember. I was cured up under the covers near your feet, I think. I just know it was warm and I was happy. Then I was cold and wet."

"Sorry" he said again. "I was cold and wet too, if it's any consolation. I'm kind of new to all this, you know. I haven't had thousands of years to practice, and I didn't grow up able to just make stuff by thinking about it, let alone unmake it."

"I didn't know how to unmake it either, until you showed me how. Speaking of unmaking, do you want to leave them with the new furniture or do you want me to put the old stuff back? I just shrunk it down and put it in the trashcan when I was making my changes last night." Cat asked.

Xander looked in the trash, and sure enough, there was a tiny desk, a tiny metal chair, and a little bed with a little nightstand and a tiny lamp on it.

Xander shrugged, "Ask the Colonel when they come by to see why we won't answer the phone. Um, can I get a shower? Uh, I mean, can I have the right shower back, so I don't have to make my own?"

Cat smiled, "It's good practice for you, but I'll put the bathroom and closets back to normal. Then you can take a shower and make yourself some new clothes."

Xander nodded. "Ok."

Before he had finished, the closet was back, and a glance inside the bathroom door showed the normal utilitarian fixtures he would expect from a military base.

He made his way inside and closed the door behind him.

Jack set the phone down and rubbed his ear where the speaker had made a horrid squelch sound before going dead. He'd been trying to call Xander and Cat to see if they wanted to get up for breakfast, but apparently the phone didn't like that idea. He'd just have to go over there himself.

Perhaps he could corral Sam and Daniel along the way.

Xander emerged from the bathroom a short time later to find Cat had dressed herself in a white tank top and blue jeans.

Xander had gone with a new silk Hawaiian shirt today, something he'd just thought of with really pretty green and blue pattern, on a yellow and red background. It looked kind of like a sunset over an ocean seen through the trees. What was really cool was if you stared at it long enough, it almost looked like the trees were moving. For pants, and he'd been sure to make the pants 'really real', he was wearing a simple pair of black jeans, over a nice pair of hiking shoes.

That and of course, Kusanagi finished off his wardrobe.

"You look nice" he said to Cat as she looked up and smiled at him.

"So do you. But isn't that shirt a bit, I don't know, bright?" she replied, coming over and giving him a kiss.

Xander shrugged, "It's a sunset, it's supposed to be bright."

Cat just shook her head, then looked towards the door a moment before a knock came from the other side of it. "Come in, Jack" she called out.

The door opened, and Jack O'Neill, followed by Daniel Jackson came into the room.

"How'd you know it was me?" Jack asked.

Cat shrugged, "I'm a goddess, remember?"

Jack nodded, "Goddess, yeah. About that, you didn't happen to oh, I dunno, hurl any lightning bolts at the phone this morning or anything, did you? The tech guys say the entire channel on the switch was shorted out somehow."

Cat shook her head, suppressing a grin, "No, no lighting bolts. There may have been some temporary water damage though."

Jack looked around the room, taking in the different furniture for the first time, "Um, what happened to the stuff in here, it actually looks, nice, for a change."

Cat nodded at Xander, "He replaced it. The original stuff is in the trash can if you want it. I can always scale it back up if anyone asks."

Jack looked into the trashcan and made a note of the miniature furniture, the tiny desk still having a tiny pen and some stationary on it. "Um..."

Cat went on, "How bad is that channel thing, do you want me to try and fix it?"

Jack was still obsessed by the details in the miniaturized contents of the trash can, wondering what one might find in those tiny drawers, was there a miniscule bible or phone book in there somewhere, he wondered. Suddenly he realized Cat had asked him a question. He did a quick replay in his mind, and formulated a coherent reply. "Uh, no. They needed to change the channel anyhow. It was always getting stuck or something they said. I just thought it was funny that it died when I tried calling your room is all."

"If you're sure. So what about the furnature?" Cat enquired.

"Oh, I like the new look. I'll check with the General just to be sure, but as long as the new stuff isn't going to disappear, it'd be nice to have a guest room which is actually, homey, once and a while, you know, for the occasional guests we actually like."

"Then I hope you have us stay in this one if we ever end up back here again. If that means you like us, that is." Xander said.

Jack picked up the trashcan and made his way out the door to show the General. "What? Oh yeah, stay here whenever you want. Just call ahead. Oh, and no parties."

Daniel looked after Jack's back, wondering what had come over him.

Xander looked at Cat and asked, "Did Colonel O'Neill just invite us to stay here whenever?"

Cat shrugged, "I guess. But I don't think the General would like that."

Xander thought about it and agreed. "Probably not."

Daniel finally found himself with a chance to talk to Cat about her life in Ancient Egypt. But before he could say a word, the klaxon let out an alarm, and the ever present P.A. came to life once more announcing, "Unscheduled off world activation."

Daniel looked up to see Cat's eyes suddenly widen, and Xander stiffen as well, before they both bolted for the door, Cat leading the way down the corridor at a fast run.

General Hammond had just made it to the gateroom as the iris snicked closed.

"Report" he called out as he came to a stop before the ancient device.

"Sir, it's not a location we're familiar with. Not receiving a GDO either."

Hammond looked at the closed iris and waited. He was well aware that if someone tried to transit while the iris was in place the attempt would kill them. Or at least that was the theory. No one actually knew what happened to someone who was unable to exit a wormhole upon arriving a the terminus. He'd feel bad if some innocent traveler, expecting a normal transit, tried to come through and didn't make it. But his first duty was to see to the safety of this installation, and that included preventing any unauthorized access via the stargate.

As he turned to make his way up the stairs to the control center, the doors from the base smashed open and Cat and Xander literally flew into the room, several feet off the ground, like some sort of real life characterizations of Superman.

The Ready Response team of course shifted their aim from the closed iris towards the flying newcomers.

Cat shifted her course to land just before the iris, while Xander flew over the entire Stargate to come down behind it for some reason, and the last sight he had f the man was of him drawing his blade even as he dropped to the ground.

The Iris seemed to waver for a moment, and then a form stepped THROUGH it, to stand upon the ramp.

"Fall before me, I am your God Anubus" the cloaked figure said with an echoing voice.

Cat hissed, and spat out, "No you aren't. Your another worm. One with a measure of power, I'll grant you, who has transcended physical existence, but once a worm, always a worm. Besides, Anubus is taller."

"Ah, you must be the impertinent one who calls herself Cat. My disciple Baal has told me of you and the trick you tried to play on him. Where is your husband, the so called 'protector of mankind'? I would deal with him now as well." The figure said in an echoing Goa'uld voice.

"Oh, he's around. Trust me on that." Cat answered.

Hammond noted as the Stargate behind Anubus flashed off, and he considered if he should open the iris again or not. After a moment of hesitation, he decided, and stepping the rest of the way up to the control room, ordered, "Open the iris."

Anubus gave a rather ungodly start as the iris immediately behind him snicked open, whirling around to examine it as it retracted into the specially installed slots in the sides of the stone ring. Determining that it was not meant as a threat, but just a response to the closure of the wormhole, he returned his focus to the human before him.

"You have some power to you, for a purely physical being, but I am Ascended, and am thus far beyond the limits of the physical." Anubus declaired.

Cat looked at him, then shook her head, "No. You aren't. I think you were Ascended, whatever that means, but you did something wrong. You aren't energy, nor are you entirely physical, you seem to be rather painfully stuck in between somehow."

The faceless Anubus seemed to scowl at Cat and replied, "Nonetheless I am far superior to you."

Cat seemed to puzzle on that for a bit. "In what way?" she asked.

"I have access to all the knowledge of the Ancients. I am Immortal, unaging, and unchanging. I can not be harmed by any means at your disposal." Anubus said.

Cat shrugged, "Age is more a state of mind than a physical reality, even for Humans. They grow old when the act old. Otherwise, all they can do is die. But the real question I asked was how you were superior to me. I can eat a Twinkie. Can you?" Cat asked, plucking a pair of golden snack cakes from the air, opening one and eating from it, while offering the other to Anubus.

The Ascended Goa'uld seemed to study the cake in the girl's hand, then shrugged, "Material needs are beneath me. I need not eat."

Cat shrugged, "Neither do I. Xander's the one who seems to have the habit of thinking he's hungry all the time. But that doesn't mean tasty treats are not a pleasure. Which puts me above you, as I can enjoy food, and you, can't."

Anubus seemed to swell with anger, "You dare to mock me, human?"

Cat shrugged, "If I want. But now, I'm just bored. Xander, honey, kill this thing, please?"

Xander, who had been floating unnoticed in the air just above the ring ever since Anubus came through, dropped down behind him, and with a swipe of Kusanagi removed the head from the cloaked figure, eliciting a cry of pain from Anubus.

"What is it with you bad guys?" Xander asked, swinging again for the apparent center of mass this time, swiping Kusanagi through the cloak again, shredding it this time, revealing a dark outline of a being, with some sort of inner glow. "I mean, I cut the devil's head off, and he just taunts me. And now I slice and dice on you, and you just scream. DIE already." Xander said, plunging Kusanagi into the being again, and as it screamed once more, holding the blade there.

Kusanagi started to glow, and where the glow grew, the darkness seemed to shrivel. There was a smell of ionized air in the room, like after a lighting strike, or an electrical arc. Anubus continued to scream, then suddenly the blackness seemed to collapse in on its self, swiring into a rushing mass, which seemed as though it was trying to escape, but Xander and his blade followed it's motion, tracking through the air as the dark essence seemed evaporate from contact with Kusanagi's glow.

And then it was gone. And everything was quiet. Xander floated a good fifteen feet in the air, almost even with the control room window, as the glow faded from Kusanagi, leaving the still brightly light room feeling like it had been cast into darkness somehow.

Hammond was the first to speak, "What in sam hell was that?"

Cat shrugged, "Another worm, like I said. But one who could have killed everyone in this room if we hadn't gotten here in time. I hope there aren't any more of them."

Xander floated down to the ground again, and stepped over to his wife, casually sheathing Kusanagi in a smooth motion as he did so.

"How'd you know Kusanagi would be able to kill it?" he asked her.

Cat smiled at him, "I expected she could, that worm was not close to a god, and Kusanagi can kill a god. But in any case, I knew you would do it, it's what you do. It's who you are. The Protector."

And with that she kissed him, while the soldiers of the Ready Response Team just watched, still in shock, but recovered enough to feel more than a hint of jealousy for the man being kissed so soundly by the beautiful blonde girl in front of them. And then Daniel Jackson finally made it to the room.

None of the researchers knew why Stemson wasn't dead.

There was a good reason for that of course.

But if their opinions had been queried, they'd have been stumped, because the physiological changes he was undergoing were catastrophic to say the least.

His form had almost doubled in size in every dimension, making him a twelve foot tall 800 pound behemoth covered in more muscles than the Incredible Hulk. Only he wasn't green. His skin was a slick damp scaly grey, like a snake which had been covered in snot. And he stank. He had Antlers, like from a deer growing out of his head, which would look ridiculous, if they didn't end in pointy spears and look more scary then anything else.

His eyes had changed to a reptilian slit, and grown red. His ears were gone, as was his nose. And his genitalia. But he now had a tail. It was thick at the base, like a crocodile's tail, but very long, and ending in a sharp bony spear, almost liking like an over grown scorpion's, and it seemed to be prehensile, moving forward to jab at the air occasionally over one shoulder or the other.

His hands now ended in talon like claws, and his teeth had changed, becoming sharp and jagged. His tongue was forked, like a snake's, and he seemed able to smell with it, as he kept sticking it out like a lizard or a snake would.

But none of the researchers cared about that.

Stemson's apatite had grown with his size. He was ravenous almost all the time now, not that the researchers would notice. Not any more.

Like I said, there was a good reason the researchers didn't know or care about anything.

They were already all dead. And more than half of them had already been eaten.

But Stemson was still hungry. Good thing there were more labs around. And lots of little soldiers.

Daniel followed Xander and Cat back towards the Infirmary. "Someone said that was Anubus. We killed Anubus. The airman said he claimed he was Ascended. What did he mean by that?"

Cat tossed a glance back over her shoulder at the trailing Archeologist. "That was not Anubus. That was another of those stupid aliens who seem obliged to steal other people's names for some reason, this one was one of those Goa'uld worms, only somehow it'd managed to avoid going to hell or wherever it is it's kind are supposed to go when it died as it should have. Whatever his story, I felt him when he started opening the gate. Don't ask me how, but it was almost like he was praying to me, only in a bad way. Probably he was focusing on finding me, but usually it takes more than just a bit of concentration on them to get a god's attention. Anyhow, I felt something was coming, looking for me, and it was powerful, which was why I ran down there, because I knew something bad was coming, but didn't know what."

"So you just ran down there and killed whoever it was?" Daniel asked, incredulous.

"Well, I did agree to help protect earth from the worms, and dead or not, that was still a worm. Now, if you don't have any more questions, I'd really like to get back to work on trying to help my husband rid himself of those prions which have your doctor so concerned." Cat answered, her eyes flashing with a greenish light for a second, and sending a chill up Daniel's back, as he recalled her changing a Jaffa into a rat with little more than a glance at the conclave the day before.

"No, that's ok. I'd still like to talk to you about where you grew up and the culture there, but later would be fine for that." Daniel replied, raising his hands and stopping in the corridor allowing Cat and Xander to pull away from him as they continued walking.

Daniel turned back around to go find the General. General Hammond had seemed awfully accepting of the situation, and Daniel wanted to ask him why.

Daniel found the General in his office, Jack off to one side, grinning, while the General was hunched over his desk poking at a miniature bed with the tip of a mechanical pencil. "General Hammond? He asked.

"Oh, come in Doctor. I believe you heard our guests were unhappy with their accommodations last evening and elected to replace the furniture?"

"Yeah, I was there this morning when Jack came by to invite them to breakfast. Is that the old stuff which they said they shrunk?" Daniel replied.

"Yes. At least that is what Jack believes. I'm still not quite willing to take everything about them on faith alone, even if that is what one is supposed to use when dealing with gods."

"Well, you could always give it to Sam and let her run some analysis on it."

"Oh no you don't!" Jack interrupted. "She's already going gaga over the two pillows, trying to find the difference between something Cat said is real and something she admitted was just an illusion. The last thing we need is her trying to figure out how they converted Air Force Standard furniture into custom dollhouse pieces guaranteed to please even the most discriminating collector."

"But perhaps she could test the materials and determine if." Daniel started, only to be interrupted by Jack's vehement "No!"

"But", he tried again, but Jack angain cut him off, "Not another word."

Daniel opened his mouth again, but this time before he could even speak, Jack raised a hand and said "Ahhh..."

Daniel gave up, and turned towards the door to see what Teal'c was up to.

Xander and Cat sat in the infirmary, Janet having just taken yet another blood sample, and verified that the apparent prion counts were still the same as the day before.

A check on Cat's blood showed that her blood had remained clear since the day before, and giving their impossible reproduction rate, that should indicate she was indeed free of them.

Cat walked Xander through shifting again from human to cat and back, the prion levels unchanged despite the smaller feline form, or the larger human form. Then Cat had an idea, and after having Xander shift to cat form again, reached out and snapped his neck again.

Janet watched as she carried the dead cat over to the counter, and had Janet again try and extract a sample from the corpse.

This sample showed the vastly lowered prion level seen before after he had died, and as the cat revived, Xander shifted immediately back to human form, and once again the prion levels were still depressed, but once more climbing.

"It doesn't seem to matter what form he's in, the prion level stays consistent." Janet observed.

"What if he selected a form too small to contain the prions?" Cat wondered.

"Even the dragonfly form he'd tried yesterday would be more than large enough to contain millions of prions. He'd need to become something microscopically small, like an amoeba." Janet said, shaking her head.

Cat gave Xander a speculative look, but then shook her head, "No. I don't think he could manage an amoeba. I know someone who got stuck that way once, and I don't know anyone who could help if he did, especially since he's the only one who can make that twist in the portal he did when we came here. I wouldn't want to take a chance." She gave Xander a hug, and said, "You're going to have to go the next step, and reset your template. If you can do that, then that should clear the prions, just like it did for me."

Xander shrugged, "I don't think I can change myself into nothing though. I mean, you're worried about me getting stuck as an amoeba, what if I get stuck as nothing? I'd just be, gone!"

Cat smiled, and gave him a hug, "That can't happen. I can't explain it, but you aren't your form, you are you. If you were naturally defined by your form, when I killed you as a cat, you'd have stayed dead. But since the cat was you, and you aren't just a cat, you revived."

"Fine, so if I'm a cat, I'm still me. But even as a cat, I still am. If I am nothing, then how can I still even be?"

Cat squeezed his hand, "Follow me in your mind.", she then closed her eyes, and a moment later she was gone.

Xander had his eyes closed, and even though she was gone, he realized he could still feel her. She was still here, she wasn't really gone, she just wasn't physical. Suddenly he understood what she meant by not having a form not equaling not existing.

Cat was back in a flash, her clothes changed for a yellow sundress. "See, I was nothing, but I still was. Now you try it again, and don't worry, I'll hold on to you. Nothing will happen."

Xander closed his eyes, and as Janet watched his form wavered for a second, then there was a flash of light, and an almost audible sound, more of a pressure wave really, and then he was back, looking the same as before, although the colors on his shirt now seemed even brighter.

Xander looked around as though shocked though. He held out his hands before them, and touched them together experimentally, then he took a deep breath of the air, wrinkling his nose as he did so.

Cat was amazed as well. The feelings she was getting from the Xander in her mind were sharper, clearer, and she could actually fell the changes in his senses, and everything else.

"Wha, what was that?" Xander asked, unable to express verbally the alterations in his experiential reality.

Cat reached out and squeezed his hand, "I'm not sure."

"It's like back when I first got changed on Halloween, only more so. So much more so."

Janet asked, "What happened?"

Cat looked over at the doctor, who she and Xander had both more or less forgotten about in the surge of sensations, "Dr. Fraiser, could you take a blood sample now? I think I have an idea."

Janet took the sample, and after only looking at it for moments looked up and smiled, "They're gone. Whatever you did Xander, they're gone."

Cat nodded, "It makes sense. You were spending so much of your essence fighting the prions, repairing the constant damage they were causing to you, that you never even realized how much they were taking out of you."

"But, I didn't feel like this before I was exposed to them. I mean, I know what I felt like when I was first changed, and this is kind of like that, but only in that what I felt like in comparison to what I'd felt like before and what I felt like after, this is a similar difference. But I've never felt like this. Everything is so clear, the scents so sharp, the noises so crisp, it's like, I don't know what it's like. I also think I'm stronger physically. A lot stronger physically."

Dr Fraiser looked interested, "You were already incredibly strong, I'd have rated you at five to six times normal human strength and reaction times. If you're actually stronger now somehow..." Janet trailed off, trying to figure what that would mean.

Cat knew though, "Xander, remember when I told you all you needed was a church, some believers, and a priest or two to be considered a god by some?"

Xander nodded.

"I don't think you need even those anymore." Cat answered with a grin.

A new, and familiar voice broke in to their conversation. "About time you figured it out."

Everyone whirled around to see the new arrival.

Xander's first reaction was to attack, as the face was the same as the one on the head he and Cat had in a box back in Toronto. But the feelings coming from the entity in front of them were diametrically opposed to the evil which seemed to radiate from Lucifer.

Cat didn't even hesitate, she threw herself across the room to embrace the newcomer. "Uncle Mike!"

Janet looked at Xander, and asked, "Uncle Mike? Another god?"

Xander shook his head, "Archangel. Michael. Ever heard of him?"

Janet just looked at the plane looking individual across the room, and mouthed 'Arch-Angel?' before settling herself in a chair and just staring at the scene as it unfolded before her.

Mike came over to Xander, and said, "I'm glad you finally managed to get that poison out of your system. Next time, be more careful what you put in your mouth."

Xander just nodded, "So, what's really going on? Ever since Cat and I, er, well, things have been happening."

Mike nodded, "It's as was foretold thousands of years ago, just before your wife's birth. You, Xander, are the 'Undestined godling' of the prophecy. And that brings me to the point of my visit. The Boss wants to talk to you two. Now."

As he said that, Mike waved a hand, and a portal shimmered into existence in the air.

Unlike the portals Cat had opened, which swirled with colors, or the Stargate, which looked like a glowing pool of water, this portal was a pure shining white ovid hanging in the middle of the Infirmary right in front of Xander and Cat.

Without another word, Mike shoved the couple through the ovid, and it winked out of existence, leaving the infirmary looking sad and dreary by it's mere absence.

Janet jumped to her feet, knocking the chair behind her to the floor, "Uh, whe- what did you do with Xander and Cat?"

Mike looked over at her and shrugged, "I just sent them to the Creator. You want to argue with The One? I sure don't!"

Janet blinked, "THE Creator? As in God?"

Mike nodded, "Yep. Look, it's been nice to meet you, but I've got to go. My brother's stirring up trouble as usual, and I don't want anyone to loose their soul, or worse, because I was here talking to you."

"Brother?" Janet asked.

"Yeah, Lucifer. You know, the Devil? Anyhow I've got to go. I'll see you later Janet." And with that he was gone. No portal, no flash, no special effects at all, just gone, as though he had never been, leaving Janet alone in the infirmary.

Shaking her head, Janet reached for the phone, the General needed to know about this.

The monster which had once been Sergeant Stemson was on a rampage.

All remnants of the humanity he had once possessed were gone by this time, in fact all remnants of logical thought were gone as well. All that was left was anger, and hunger.

What the creature could eat, it did. And what it couldn't, it destroyed.

As yet another jeepload of soldiers from Area 51 made their way into the warzone Area 52 had become, the messages were going out from the top secret base to the higher-ups in the Pentagon. The situation was swiftly escalating and there were even calls being made now for an air strike, and a request that nuclear weapons be prepared, just in case. A plan which was better than anyone in the Pentagon would credit.

As the general in charge of the base said, the situation had gone to hell. Little did he understand just how accurate that description was, because while the monster which had once been Sergeant Stemson was bad and seemingly unstoppable, a few of his victims were being left alive, if wounded in his wake. And those wounds were all infected. And the prions in them were reproducing at impossible rates, and those prions were inducing changes in their hosts.

One monster was a nightmare. An army of them, would be far worse. But by the time anyone realized just how out of hand the situation was, even a nuclear strike might not be enough. Prions are unbelievably hard to destroy. And demonic prions are even harder.

To be continued in Chapter 23 - Secrets of the Universe. 


	23. Knight Errant Part 23 – Secrets

Chapter 23 - Secrets of the Universe

An inky black portal opened about six feet above a white concrete pad, with a grey brick wall just behind it.

From the portal a pair of figures spilled out, to tumble painfully to the ground.

The first figure plucked herself from the top of the second figure, who also staggered to his feet as the portal above them vanished.

The male dusted himself off and complained, "Ok, that was not nice. I thought Michael was one of the good guys?"

The female stamped her foot and looked at the sky where the portal had been, "He is, Xander. I don't know why he did that."

Looking around, then back down at his hands, which he turned over and over, Xander looked up at the female, and remarked, "Uh, Cat?"

Cat looked over at him, adjusting her white sundress slightly on her somewhat excaudate figure. "Yes, Xander?"

"Um, you know we're cats, right?" Xander asked.

"Yes, Xander." She replied.

"Um, you realize we're cartoon cats, right?" Xander asked, clarifying as he held up his three fingered hand.

"Yes Xander." She replied.

"And you realize we're in black and white?" he asked, gesturing at the world around him, all done in varying shades of gray.

"Yes Xander." She answered again.

"Don't you get it? I'm a Cat! Worse, I'm a cartoon cat! And this whole stupid universe seems to be drawn in shades of black and white! Bad things happen to cartoon cats, especially when they're in black and" Xander was cut off abruptly as a large walrus and a skinny penguin fell from the sky and smashed him flat.

Cat rushed over and tried to pry the walrus off her flettened husband.

"Oh, sorry about, that, we were just trying our catapult, to see if we could make uit over the wall, but I believe we mised it by that much" the penguin said, holding his flippers about an inch apart.

"I dunno, Tennessee" the walrus said, sliding off Xander and brushing himself off. "We didn't even make it to the wall. I think there is something wrong with our catapult."

The penguin nodded, "You may be right Chumley. I think we need to go see Mr. Whoopie."

Xander had made it back to his feet, and growled at Cat, "See what I mean? I'm so out of here". Xander then tried to open a portal. And failed. He looked at Cat, "Uh, Cat? Can you open a portal? I don't care where to, just out of here."

Cat smiled and nodded, then frowned. "I don't think so. Um. No. I can't! We're stuck!"

The penguin looked over, "So you're trying to get out of here too, hmm? Perhaps you should come and see Mr. Whoopie as well, especially before the Zookeeper, Stanley Livingston comes by and locks us up again."

"Ok, we'll go see your Mr. Whoopie. I for one don't want to get locked up." Xander agreed. "Especially if we can't open a portal to get out of here." He turned to follow the penguin and Walrus.

Before Xander knew it. They were knocking on a door. Where they were, and how exactly they had gotten there he was entirely unsure, but somehow they had gone from the wall by the zoo to this door in what must have been an instant.

The person who opened the door was human. Sort of. Shorter then Cat or Xander, and certainly smaller than the walrus, Chumley, the man before them was about the same height as the penguin.

But almost half his height was his head. It was huge, with a pleasant looking face dominated by a long round nose and a white mustache which matched what hair he still had on the sides of his head. And he was also a cartoon. "Well hello Tennessee! Chumley!" he greeted fondly, then turning to Cat and Xander he continued, "And you two must be Snowball and Alexander. I'm Phineaus Whoopie, and I'm very pleased to finally meet you."

Turning back to the penguin and the walrus, he asked., "So, Tennessee, what brings you by this time?"

The penguin gesticulated as he replied, "A Catapult, Mr. Whoopie. We wanted to know the right way to build a catapult."

"Oh dear. Well, let me get out my 3-D Black Board, and I'll go over the basic mechanics with you."

With that he turned towards a closet, which he pulled open. The tightly packed contents of the closet vibrated and tremmored for a few moments as the door was opened, then with a great clattering sound the contents avalanched over Mr. Whoopie, burying him completely.

A few moments later however, that enormous head poked out of the rubble, even as a comparatively small arm thrust up holding a small tube of some sort. "There it is!" he exclaimed cheerfully, wading out of the debris and making his way over to a clear area of the room.

He pulled on the ends of the tube, which slid wider and wider, then he grasped it by the top and the bottom and stretched, apparently unrolling a black chalkboard.

Setting it on it's tripod feet, he reached to the tray at the bottom and lifted out a long piece of chalk laying there.

"Catapult, heh. Well, you see Tennessee," he began, waving the wand at the blackboard, and images started to appear on it. "A simple catapult is a device for converting stored energy to motion." A trebujet appeared on the board, the spring arm flying forward and hurtling a rock from the cup on the end of the pole into the air to smash the wall of a white chalk castle. "The most basic one is like a teeter-totter" he continued, the little soldiers and their siege weapons, and the castle fading away to be replaced by a kid's playground with a teeter-totter sitting prominently dead center, two happy children bobbing up and down on it. "The board acts as a lever, and the pivot in the center is the fulcrum. If a large weight is raised on one side, while a lighter weight is lowered on the other, the effects of gravity pulling the weight down will transfer the energy to the second object, launching it into the air." The kids changed to Chumley and Tennessee, Chumly at the top and Tennessee sitting at the bottom, and as Chumly fell, Tennessee was launched leaving a dotted line arc behind himself to show his trajectory. "The angle of the board when the movement stops sets the angle of the flight, and the relative weight of the objects sets the speed."

"I see, Mr Whoopie. But what if you wanted to launch something heavy?" Tennessee asked.

"Well, Tennessee, you could always increase the energy imparted by the weight, for example," the large headed man said, as the picture changed to a single anvil on one end of the teeter-totter, while a building appeared behind the teeter-totter. A figure of Tennessee pushed a second anvil off the top of the building, and it fell down, leaving a dotted line behind it's self, "you could drop the weight from a height, so it has more energy to use in launching the payload, " the anvil hit the teeter-totter and the first anvil was launched into the air as the falling one slammed into the raised in smashing it to the ground. The second anvil flew off on a curving arc, to vanish off the edge of the blackboard.

Tennessee jumped to his feet, exclaiming "Of course! I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Phineas J. Whoopie, you're the greatest! Come along, Chumly, we've got work to do."

"Ok Tennessee." The Walrus agreed, following the penguin out the door.

Mr. Whoopie looked after them calling out, "But boys, what do you want to use a catapult for? Oh dear." He said, shaking his head sadly as the door closed without gaining a reply.

He then turned to Xander and Cat. "Well, I suppose it's your turn. What would you like to know?"

Xander blinked at the small man with the improbably large head. "Know? Um, how about why I'm a cartoon cat, or better yet, how I get out of here. Yeah. I'd like to know how to open a portal and get home."

The small man looked up at him and smiled as he nodded, "Portals. Certainly. Well you see, Xander, portals are tunnels from one plane of reality to another. However, this plane is not reality at all. As you have surmised, you are in a cartoon. And unlike reality, a cartoon is a dream. A shared dream, supported by all those who watch, or in some cases read it, but a dream nonetheless. And as such, it is not necessarily connected to reality. And without a connection, you can not create a portal. I suppose you might be able to open a path to another dream, but there is no way for you to return to Sunnydale from here. At least not by yourself."

Cat was looking at the man now with interest, "You know us. How?"

He shrugged, "I sent for you. I'm the one Michael brought you here to see."

Xander finally put things together. "Of course." He said, feeling the pieces slide into place, and he realized why all this seemed so familiar. He'd watched this cartoon as a kid! He looked down at the pleasant looking little man with the big head and asked incredulously, "Phineas J. Whoopie? You're The Greatest?"

The small man nodded, "Amongst my other titles. 'The Boss', 'The Creator', 'The Greatest', many others. Too many others. But yes, I am. Or rather, Phineas J. Whoopie is an aspect of me. Here. Now. I am elsewhere as well at the moment, in many places, and in almost as many forms as I have titles and names. But I am all of them. It's kind of a Creator thing."

Cat spoke up, "But I thought only Angels and Elder Gods could meet with you directly?"

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "That is true. And if you were in any actual reality, you would likely not survive meeting with me directly without consequences. But here, things are different. This is not reality, but as I explained, it is a dream, and so the rules are different."

"What do you mean not survive?" Xander asked, concerned for his new wife.

Cat looked over at him and smiled, "It's ok, I think. From what I was told when I asked long ago, mortals, even immortals, most gods, and all demons are made from too frail a substance to directly interact with The Creator. Even the realities as we know them were fashioned through the aid of the Elder Gods, which is why they were created, to act as catalysts in the act of creation. Later, the lesser gods were fashioned to aid in maintaining that creation, and the Angels were created to assist in Administration. Mostly the Angels exist to provide an interface between The Creator and the other beings."

"Messengers?" Xander asked.

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "And Administrators. like Lucifer. He thought he could do a better job of running the universes than I was doing, so I put him in charge of all the aspects of Hell. After all, someone had to administer it, and eventually he'll realize that if he has such a problem with only one slice of existence, how could he have ever hoped to manage everything? I can only do it because I am a part of everything, or, more accurately, everything is a part of me."

Xander nodded slowly, "So Lucifer is in charge of Hell because you gave him the job, not because he took it from you. Which is why he still refers to you as 'The Boss', even if he doesn't like you, because despite everything, he still works for you."

Mr. Whoopie nodded. "Precisely, Xander. Now as for getting home, well, you see, there are some issues we need to deal with first."

Xander looked down at him and asked, "Issues?"

Mr. Whoopie nodded. "Issues. Such as what to do about you. Quite a conundrum, you know."

Xander looked over at Cat who shrugged, then back at Mr. Whoopie. "In what way?"

"Oh, in a plethora of ways, really. First, there is your status. You are Janus's Champion. But not even an Elder God can have a god as a Champion. And since you and Snowball have bonded, her powers and yours are the same. She hasn't noticed it, but she's far more powerful than she used to be. And you, you are equally as powerful, more so if you call upon Janus for additional strength, which is your due as his Champion. No this won't do at all. It'd just totally upset the balance."

"Balance?" Xander asked.

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "Between good and evil, chaos and order, life and death. Everything must have a balance, or it looses its value. If there was no evil, good would become so overpowering as to smother the human spirit, and people would suffer even more than they do from the periodic attacks of evil. And because of how delicate that balance is, you can't be allowed to simply return to your Sunnydale. If you did, you'd upset the balance. And Evil may fall in that reality. And if it did, the results would be disasterous. No, if you ever want to return to your home, you will have to make a choice."

Xander looked over at Cat who shrugged, then he looked back at Mr.Whoopie. "What kind of choice?"

Mr. Whoopie settled himself into a large leather chair, and explained, "Well, first you can restrict your powers. Of course, once again, since Snowball is bonded to you, it means she'd have to restrict herself as well. But if you agreed to not exceed the scope of abilities of any whom you challenge, then it might work. I won't make you two hold back should someone challenge you directly, no, but unless they attack you with full knowledge of who and what you are, you can only meet them in kind. Another option would be perhaps the best, if both of you were to adopt the Compact. You would not be allowed to take a personal hand in events on any Earth at that point, but you'd be able to choose a Champion of your own, and they could act in your stead, much as you acted for Janus, Alexander. Or, you could simply not return. That may be the best option of all, there are lots of places out there which you could help, even your recent acquaintances at the SGC will be having problems both in the immediate future, and several years from now which they simply aren't equipped to handle. The one right now is actually something the two of you should resolve, as your presence caused it, but the later would have happened even had you two never arrived in that reality."

"What is the Compact?" Xander asked.

Cat answered, "Its an agreement between most of the deities and several of the more powerful demonic entities. It restricts most actions to clashes between willing and chosen champions, thus preventing the collateral damage a conflict between two groups of gods would cause. My mom always regretted having agreed to it, even if she did manage to insure that her home was grandfathered in so she could act there with impunity. My brothers both always complained about it, and I never adopted it, even though it was strongly recommended several times."

Mr Whoopie nodded. "Essentially it is like a union deal for the supernatural. And deities who refuse to adopt it are shunned and pressured in whatever ways are possible until they consent to join."

"That wouldn't happen to be the so called 'Powers that be' would it?" Xander asked.

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "They are one of the stronger, unions, you could call them. All the groupings follow the Compact, but yes, they are indeed one of t+hem. They never liked you because Janus will not join any of the groups. Even though he did agree to the Compact. If you do not do so, their opposition to you will only grow, especially if they realize your new status."

"What is my status?" Xander asked.

Mr.Whoopie climbed out of his chair and made his way over to the blackboard.

"Well, you see Xander, you are a very interesting case. Unique one might well say. Shortly before your wife was born, a prophecy was issued. It foretold of how she'd meet you, how you'd bond with her, the two of you becoming essentially one, and how you'd spend the rest of eternity together. And it's all come to pass now. What you are, is somewhat based on what you were."

A chalk picture of Xander appeared on the blackboard. "At first you were a normal human. Humans are common, but are nothing to be ignored. Most humans have no idea just how much raw potential they have for one thing or another." A chalk bat flew onto the board from the side, and changed into a Dracula type image. "From a level or raw physical strength or speed, the average vampire is four times faster and stronger than the average human. But that discounts the human's spirit." The chalk Xander was sticking a piece of wood into a chalk Dracula, who vanished into a puff of dust.

"But you didn't remain a normal human for long, once you joined the battle." Mr. Whoopie continued. "You remember that day at the Zoo, I presume. The chalk Xander walked into a circle, with several dog like animals sitting around it, also in the circle were several other human figures. "It was only a few months after you met the then champion of the Powers, the Slayer Buffy Summers that you stepped across the line and became something more." The chalk figures were beating up on a single figure, until the chalk Xander intervened, allowing the one being attacked to flee, while the Xander alone faced the remaining group. "You acted to protect a weaker individual from a group of stronger ones, and unknowingly you did so inside of a ceremonial circle, completing an ancient ritual." A cloud, shaped like one of the dogs floated out of the group and sunk into the chalk Xander. Similar, but smaller clouds emerged from the other dog images and settled on the rest of the group. "That ceremony summoned a Primal Spirit. In your case, that of the Primal Alpha. The fundamental 'leader of the pack' so to speak." The chalk Xander walked off, the other chalk figures obediently following behind.

"The Alpha, she was more than your average spirit. She was the spirit, from which all the others were descended, literally the mother of the Primals. Primals are nature spirits. They imprint on an animal, and can pass some of that animal's characteristics on to it's host. The Slayer Spirit is another very similar creature. And the Primal Alpha spirit in you was inevitably drawn to the Slayer Spirit in your friend Buffy." The chalk Xander was aggressively coming on to a chalk Buffy, while Cat frowned at its actions. "Fortunatly, even though her spirit was similarly drawn to you, the Slayer is also an Alpha, and a conflict arose." The chalk Buffy knocked out the chalk Xander and carried him off. "Your friends tried to eject the spirit within you. They thought they had, but really all they managed to do was lock it up, and eject its personality." The large dog shaped cloud was pulled from the Xander shape, but then snapped, a smaller dog shape shooting away, while the bulk of the cloud, now formless, sank back into the chalk Xander. "It remained, mostly untapped for a while after that, until the night Buffy was to die."

On the chalk board, the chalk Xander was banging on a door. "Did you ever wonder how you knew where the Vampire Liam was hiding?" A chalk vampire with an overstated Fonzie style hairdo opened the door, and after some gesticulating by the chalk Xander, including some cross waving and even some blows, the chalk vampire led the chalk Xander away off the side of the board.

"After that night the Primal essence again lay dormant, mostly. It helped you on occasion when you were injured, or in a fight, allowing you to escape mostly unscathed, giving you a subtle edge you never noticed, just enough to allow you to survive, despite your tendency to physically throw yourself into fights to protect your friends. But then Halloween came. And you were changed again. Far more drastically this time." The cartoon Xander walked back onto the blackboard carrying a sword. "You dressed as an Immortal, but not just any Immortal. You dressed as an ancient Immortal magic using version of yourself. And when the spell was cast, that was what you became." The chalk Xander suddenly seemed to double, then merge together again. "Almost everyone else touched by that spell was possessed by an avatar from some other reality, but not you. The spirit which possessed you was none other than your very own soul, molded into a new template by the power of the spell. Even had nothing else happened that evening, you would have been changed forever by that alone, retaining the ability to use magic, and to tap your own soul for the power to heal yourself, and empower your own spells."

"I would have?" Xander asked.

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "You did, in several realities. In others, you made different choices, and in many of them those choices also effected you permanently. I think more aspects of yourself were effected than of anyone else touched by that spell that night. But let's look at you specifically, as you are the only aspect to have been so completely changed." The chalk Xander was fighting a wookie like monster, and loosing. "In many realities you rescued Cordelia from her assailant. In some, this rescue led to the two of you becoming a couple, either for the long, or more often the short term. But in this one, the results were far more drastic, as you know." The chalk Xander killed the wookie, but was laying down and dying himself as well, when a chalk vampire flew down and landed by him. "The young man possessed by the avatar of Lucien LaCrois, a powerful vampire unlike any which existed in your reality. The avatar thought you would make a fine addition to his family, so he acted to bring you across before you could die, unaware that under the effects of the spell you would heal immediately once your life had fled." The chalk vampire bent over and bit the chalk Xander, then held its wrist out to him. "And in doing so, he managed to alter not only your own soul, but also bond it to the remnants of the Primal, and imprinting the resulting gestalt with his own influence as well." The cloud drifted part of the way out of the chalk Xander, and took on Xander's shape, only it not only held a sword in it's hand, but now had fangs like a vampire. It then settled back into Xander's body, and the whole thing seemed to get a little bit bigger.

"When Janus saw you later that evening, and chose you as his champion, he thought the changes in you were partly his doing. But he wasn't quite right. He was little more than a catalyst in the changes you had undergone that evening. Even had he not acted to lock in the memories of the vampire and the Immortal in your mind, they would have remained, fading over time, true, but remained nonetheless. And so, even without his actions, would the abilities, the traits, because they were a part of you. The you made of your soul infused with the remnants of the Primal, and shaped by the combined templates of the Immortal and the Vampire." The chalk Xander was now fighting a chalk Kendra, in front of a chalk Acaltha. "When you and the vampire Liam were transported to Hell, you were cut off from Janus." The chalk Xander having killed the chalk Kendra stabbed the chalk Angel with a sword, and the opening portal suddenly collapsed, swallowing both chalk figures. "No longer were you able to draw on his power, or seek his guidance, even subconsciously. And for the first time since you had become what you were you were on your own. Yet you survived. In Hell. I know you never paused to consider that, but Hell is not designed to sustain life. It is peopled almost exclusively by immortal demons, and lost souls, who have passed beyond their human lifespans already and have moved on to the next phase of their existence. Granted, some of those have learned how to generate new physical forms, but they no longer needed sustenance to survive. You thought you did. But the reality is that by that point you were already like the embodied souls surrounding you, you had died in that alley, and while your body had healed, it was your soul, combined with the remnants of that Primal spirit, which did that. And it did so solely because you thought it should. You had already become what you thought you should be. As far above the vampires you had once fought, and the demons which now surrounded you as they believed themselves to be above the humans and human souls on which they fed." The chalk Xander was making his way through a chalk Hell, stopping occasionally to grab a demon and suck nourishment from them, much as they were doing to the ghostly people around them. "What you never realized at the time, was that much as had happened with the Vampire avatar, you were doing more than simply drawing sustenance from those demons. You were drawing their essence, and to a lesser degree, their power into yourself. But you didn't need their essence, nor did you need their power to sustain you, you could have managed to survive without eating at all during your stay in Hell, granted, unless you figured it out, you would have made yourself die every few days of starvation, but the fact was that nothing there could really effect you unless you let it. The problem was you didn't know that, so you let everything there effect you. And by the time you found Snowball and got out of there, you had consumed so much of the demons that in some ways you were their equal. And not the equal of the common demon, but of the Demon Lords. Not that you had noticed, as the changes had been gradual, and their demonic essence was weakening you even as their power had strengthened you. But it was there." The chalk Xander had a chalk Cat now, and a portal opened and they leapt through, vanishing from the blackboard.

"So you see, even before joining with Snowball you were a powerful entity. Your wife sensed that from the beginning, although she never really understood why that was. But even before the two of you completely bonded, she was aware of your power, both inherent and gleaned over the time of your stay in Hell. She didn't realize how right she was when she told you that all you needed was a building and some people in it to pray to you to be able to call yourself a god. Not that you'd want the bother of the title, unlike some others, but nonetheless, you qualified, even then."

As Mr. Whoopie turned away from the black board, he looked up at Xander and said calmly, "So as you can see, the question of what you are is far more complex than you may have realized. Even before we add Snowball here and her power to the equations."

Xander looked back at the now empty blackboard, then over at his wife who was looking at him with an expression of surprise, then back at Mr. Whoopie. Finally he asked, "What do you mean add Snowball?"

"Well, that's a good question. Snowball, how much do you really know about yourself, and your family? I know they never told you about your Father, although you should have guessed, since Maahes has the same father. But what do you know about your Mother and her parents?"

Cat opened her mouth to reply when there was a sudden frantic knocking on the door.

General Hammond set down the phone and looked across the office at his 2IC. "Jack, we've got a Foothold."

Jack immeadiatly perked up. "Where?"

General Hammond slowly shook his head, "It's worse than you might think. We have confirmed reports of inhuman hostiles in Groom Lake, centered around Area 52. Specifically Areas 41, 52, 53, 62, and 63 are reportedly under inhuman control, with fierce fighting in areas 51, 74, and 75, trying to contain the creatures and prevent a breakout along either of the access roads which lead to highway 375."

Jack just stared at the General, the full scope of what he was saying not wanting to sink in. "What happened, did the NID open a second gate or something and let a hoard of Goa'uld in?"

The general shook his head, "No, it looks like they were trying some sort of new bioweapon, and it got out of hand. From reports we're getting, anyone who becomes injured has a high probability of becoming another hostile, often within only a matter of hours. What I find most interesting is the timing."

Jack was confused, "The timing, sir?"

General Hammond nodded, "While I can't prove anything at the moment, we lost a blood sample of Mr. Harris's, which was crawling with infectious demonic prions, which have an unknown potential effect on a host. And only a day or so later, there's an outbreak of what by all reports is a contagious plague of demons. Right after our two visiting gods are apparently summoned to heaven to talk to their boss by an archangel. You tell me if you see a possible pattern here or not."

Jack considered that, then asked, "You think the Harriss were aware of this?"

General Hammond shook his head, "I don't think so, but I'm thinking we might want to insure we have a decent supply of Twinkies, we might need to start praying for help if this continues to go south, if you know what I mean."

Jack nodded, "Have you discussed the possibility of the missing samples being responsible for the outbreak, and asked someone to check for prions in the hostiles?"

General Hammond nodded, "I have. I'd reported the possible loss of the sample as soon as Dr. Fraiser brought her concerns to my attention, and I later confirmed it's theft when Xander and Cat returned and had no knowledge about the missing samples. Up until then I'd held out hope that the missing material had been destroyed by one of them for some reason."

Jack nodded, "So was the President angry that our missing material may be the cause for the problems at Groom Lake?"

General Hammond shook his head, "He wasn't happy, but more of his anger was directed at whoever stole it than at us for losing it in the first place. Although he did verify that we wouldn't be losing any more potentially world ending biological samples in the future, I believe were his exact words if I'm not mistaken."

"Sorry about that Sir. I'll duck over to the commissary and see if they have any Twinkies on hand, if not I'll detail someone to go to town and procure an emergency supply." Jack replied, waving towards the door.

"Very well. Dismissed." General Hammond said with a nod.

"Yes Sir." Jack replied with a wave as he ducked out to see to the snacks.

Mr. Whoopie made his way back from the door, a displeased look on his face. He paused just before Cat and looked up, then spoke with an odd voice, "And now back to our program. There will be no further commercial interruptions."

"Who was at the door?" Xander asked.

"Just an ad. Ignore them, like everyone else does." Mr. Whoopie said waving his hand dismissively. "They aren't evil, despite what some feel, but they certainly can be annoying."

Xander shrugged, not really understanding, but deciding that when dealing with The Creator, that not understanding may not be all that hard to, understand.

Turning back to Cat, Mr. Whoopie continued, "Now my dear, where were we. Oh yes, your family tree. Tell me, what do you know of your grandparents on your mother's side?"

Cat blinked, then she scrunched her face a bit, and replied, "Well, I know my Grandfather is Ra, And my grandmother was Hesat, in her aspect as Hathor. She gave birth to my mother, then called Ailuros, before she split into Bast and aunt Sekhmet, when they were really young."

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "Do you remember why and how she came to split?"

"Grampa fractured his aspect into Atum and Ra, and Mom found herself literally torn between the two, and fractured herself as well, but since she was just a child, she didn't understand what she was doing, and somehow both aspects became separated, developing separate identies, so she couldn't reconnect with herself later. Although both Mom and Aunt Sekhmet are still the same, deep down. What one knows, the other knows, and vice-versa."

Mr. Whoopie nodded. "Exactly. Now, how would you describe the relationship between yourself and Xander?"

Cat scrunched up her face again, then her eyes widened, "Are you saying we're both aspects of one another?"

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "To a degree. What one of you knows, or can do, so can the other. But, like your mother and her sister, you are still separate people. However, also like them, you are joined at a very basic level, so much so that the two of you can't ever be separated, even by myself. Not without destroying you both utterly."

Cats eyes widened, and Xander looked over at her in concern, "Huh? I thought you were able to do anything. You're saying even you can't separate us? How's that?" Even as he asked, he reached out and took Cat's hand, squeezing it to reassure her, even as he poured his love out to her inside his mind.

"Because the two of you are truly one. And if I split that one into two, all I'd have is two halves. That was a part of the prophecy, that the two of you would be joined for eternity. This is what it meant. It's not a bad thing, but it is an important thing. Because you are both aspects of one another in a way, much like your mom and her sister, although in your cases it's even closer. This doesn't mean you two can't separate, even for a long time, but there will always be that connection, that echo of each other within your minds, because that's exactly what it is, it's an echo of yourself, in your own mind and soul. And that's the key, Xander, when you bonded yourself to Snowball, you gave her your very heart and soul, and she gave hers to you as well, and in that process, they became one. One soul, shared between the two of you. The mechanics of this are complicated, but it has to do with the way your soul had already bonded to the fragment of the Primal spirit, making it a part of its self, when you two joined together fully, it did the same with Cat's soul. And thus the two of you genuinely became one being on a cosmic level."

Xander frowned, "So it's my fault?"

Mr. Whoopie shook his head, "No. Not at all. She gave herself to you, you only took what she offered. Had she been mortal, and not a being primarily of spirit, this wouldn't have happened. But as your soul was already used to incorporating new bits to its self, it didn't even pause as it incorporated Snowball into yourself. It was no more than absorbing a bit of another demon, or the original merging of the Primal and its self. Just more of the same, albeit on a much larger scale. But unlike the Primal, or the bits of the demons you absorbed, Snowball was a complete individual, and your psyche wasn't able to just absorb it, so it split it, twinned it into a second persona, albeit one with its own physical manifestation."

Xander now looked horrified, "Are you saying I somehow absorbed Cat? That I killed her, and all that's left is a psychotic echo from my own mind?"

Mr. Whoopie raised his hand calmingly as he shook his head, "No, Snowball is still here. She's just a part of you, or you of her. She wasn't destroyed, simply joined to you. What she was she still is, and all that you were as well. And what you were, you still are, as well as all that was Snowball before. Neither one of you was lessened in any way, you were just joined, and together you are both more than you were before. But you really need to understand that there is only one of you, to be able to understand what exactly you two have become."

"What do you mean?" Cat asked.

"Well, you see Snowball," Mr. Whoopie said, turning again to the blackboard and waving the piece of chalk at it again, a chalk Xander and Cat appearing, "When the two of you were merged," the little Xander reached out and the little Cat turned to a fog and melted into the chalk Xander, who grew almost twice as large as he had been, "the powers you were born with combined with Alexander's original, and accumulated powers and abilities. Now, if there were just a single aspect of you left at this point, say the original Alexander, he'd have all his abilities as well as yours. But there are two aspects of you, both the Alexander aspect, and the Snowball aspect, and both are equally valid from every point of view." The chalk Xander suddenly split in two, and one of them changed to look like Cat, but both were the same expanded size as the chalk Xander had become when he'd absorbed the chalk Cat.

Mr. Whoopie continued his lecture, "What that means is that both aspects of you have full access to all the abilities and powers. Almost as though there were twice as much. Only there really isn't." Suddenly the two chalk images halved in size, until they were the same size as they had originally been. "Instead as one aspect of you uses it's powers, it draws it from the other, and vice-versa." The chalk Cat reached out and waved her hand, and a chalk Death Star appeared, the chalk Cat growing to almost twice her size as she did so, while the chalk Xander shrank down to a mini-Xander near the expanded Cat's feet. "But because that extra power is there, you are able to do things previously far beyond your abilities. Such as drawing that Death Star from an alternate universe and parking it in a blank universe one plank away from the one you were in at the time. Or pushing an entire moon over into the same universe next-door. I know you thought you were somehow making it an illusion or something, but the simple fact is that what you are calling a solid illusion is actually the real thing, just one plank's length away dimensionally along an orthogonal vector from your current location. Normally there are hundreds, if not thousands or millions of blank realities bracketing any given existence in every direction. This is because items in close proximity have a tendency to bleed, which is what can cause ghosts or other strange effects at times. If something is literally next door though, it may as well be there for all practical purposes. Both the strong and weak electromagnetic forces as well as gravity will interact with it as though it is actually present, although as Xander learned the hard way, if it really isn't there, then it can't go through a portal, as portals are specific to a set of dimensional coordinates, and even being only one plank away still means there is no portal there for it to go through." The chalk Xander had resumed full size, and walked through a portal, his clothes falling to the ground as he passed through it, himself emerging from another portal elsewhere on the blackboard, clad only in his shorts.

Cat just blinked. "You mean, I really made a Death Star?"

Mr. Whoopie shook his head, "No, you really stole a Death Star from an alternate universe, one where it was about to fire on a planet, and Rebels were trying to blow it up before it could. You stole it right out from under their noses, wasted the Death Star's shot on your little demonstration, and put it back just in time to be destroyed. You also caused that reality to twin, reating one where you borrowed the Death Star, and one where you didn't. They should re-merge in several hundred years, assuming there aren't any divergent changes from your actions, other than the experiences of all those involved."

Xander had to ask now,. "What do you mean re-merge? I thought all alternates had to always exist, both forwards and backwards?"

"Why is that? If there is no difference between a pair of realities, then what is the difference between them? Until such a time as there exists a difference, they are the same, and if that difference ceases to exist, they become the same again. Ideally there should be but one reality, but I like to explore possibilities, so I twin them whenever something occurs which shouldn't. Also, realities are created whenever someone has a good idea for one. And the more people in the more realities, the more ideas for alternate variations. The permutations are nearly infinite. And it keeps me entertained. That is after all the meaning of life, the experiences gained from living it, and the values one ascribes to them, both good and bad."

"So, every story out there is representative of an alternate universe?" Xander asked.

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "Not every story, some concepts aren't worth the effort to explore, and a lot of the time the alternatives flow back into a pre-existing reality, or are twined from one. For example, there are literally thousands of Alexander Harriss in existence, all of which are friends of Buffy Summers, and most of whom live or have lived in Sunnydale. Some of them are perfectly normal humans, but a surprising number of them were effected in various ways, many of them centering around either your encounter with the Primal or your Halloween experience. But of them all, only one is here with me right now. But somewhere, someone is writing this down, thinking that they are coming up with the story, while all they are really doing is recording it. And it is that act of recording it which is critical to the existence of a reality."

Xander blinked at this, then asked, "But I thought you said this wasn't a reality at all, just a dream or something?"

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "It is. But all realities are a dream for someone, somewhere. That is the nature of existence. If no one anywhere bothers to think of it, it doesn't exist. 'I think therefore I am' is valid for an individual, but for an entire reality, it's more a case of 'They imagine, therefore we are.' If no one wrote a story about us, or even if it were written, but no one bothered to read it, none of us, even I, have any footing in which to exist."

Xander took this in then said, "Well, I hope it's a popular story and goes on for a long time."

Mr. Whoopie shrugged and said, "We'll see. Or rather, if it goes on we'll see. If it ends, we'll likely never know. But rest assured, somewhere, someone will be expressing an aspect of us. For that is also the nature of reality."

Cat had to ask, "Can you explain why the portal Xander opened had a twist at the end which I couldn't follow?"

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "I certainly can, Snowball." With that he turned back towards the blackboard.

Buffy sat in the Bronze and glared at the vampire trying to pick up the unfamiliar brunette biker chick.

It had been over a month since Maahes had brought them back from Xander's wedding, and they had heard nothing more of the missing Scooby.

Buffy knew she shouldn't be worried, at least she knew he wasn't dead or in Hell as she had believed after that horrid night five months ago. But still, she wished her best male friend was back. School just wasn't the same without him, and how he'd ever be able to graduate along with herself and Willow next June was becoming a larger question with every day of class he missed. Not that the school missed him any longer, he had joined the thousands of missing students lost over the years since Sunnydale High had gone into business. But there were some who wanted him back, mostly the Scooby gang. Heck, even their name was a part of his legacy.

Noting that the vampire was making his move, leading the biker chick towards a back door, Buffy shook off her funk and rose to follow. At least she'd be able to work out some of her repressed emotions on the bloodsucker.

Willow, Cordelia, and Oz, seeing Buffy head towards the door moved to follow her as well, just in case she needed backup.

Buffy could hear the sounds of an altercation at the end of the alley, and drawing her reconstituted lucky stake, repaired by Maahes as a peace offering and as a thanks for not trying to kill any of the wedding guests, she moved towards the noise, the other three following silently in her wake.

Buffy arrived just in time to see the biker chick knock the vampire to the ground, then leap up onto an empty packing crate. Jumping off the crate, the girl kicked the vampire in the face as she spun to the ground, knocking the vampire to the pavement.

She notices Buffy's arrival and smiles at her, "It's okay, I got it. You're, uh, Buffy, right?"

Buffy's about to answer when the vampire got up and grabbed the girl from behind. Not even losing her smile, the girl banged her head back into the vampire's face and grabbed him by the arm, as she continued talking to Buffy in an every day tone of voice, "I'm Faith."

The newly named Faith then spun the vampire face first into a nearby chain link fence in a continuation of her earlier movements.

Buffy could hear Oz's voice in the background talking to Willow and Cordelia saying, "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's a new Slayer in town."

Kneeing the vampire from behind, Faith let him go and stepped back as he whirled around and tried to punch her, which she ducked, then responded to with a pair of punches of her own, first into his stomach, then into his face, knocking him into the fence yet again. As he bounced off it, she leaped up and kicked him in the face, then grabbed him by the neck and tossed him in almost a wrestling move up into the air before slamming him to the ground on his back. Reaching out, she pulled Xander's stake from Buffy's slack hand, while asking "Can I borrow that?"

Buffy didn't even have time to respond as the vampire rolled back to his feet and ran at Faith, throwing a punch as he came. She ducked under his punch, using his arm as a lever to slam him back onto the fence, then jammed the stake through his heart in a clean in-and-out motion, turning her back to the vampire even as he crumbled to dust behind her while she handed the stake back to the still shocked looking Buffy. "Thanks, B. Couldn't have done it without you."

With that Faith turned and headed off into the darkness, swiveling her hips seductively as she walked away.

Mr. Whoopie was continuing his explanations. "That twist, Snowball, it has a very simple explanation."

Waving his chalk once more at the blackboard, a series of three dimensional landscapes each contained in a sort of cloud appeared on it, perhaps twenty little chalk realities all together. "The first thing I need to cover is how your portals work. I know you think you understand them, but Xander hasn't quite grasped the mechanics, and I don't believe your own understanding is as complete as it should be, either. A portal is a two dimensional breach through a four dimensional psuedo space connecting a series of three dimensional subsets together." A line appeared in a cloud towards the bottom, where a tiny chalk Xander and Cat stood. "When you create a portal, what you are doing is overlaying the fabric of one reality with that of another, to create a connection between the two. Let's call this reality F, and open a portal to reality A over here on the left." A second line appeared in the cloud on the far left and slightly up on the black board, the other clouds gaining letters as well ranging from B through Z, although not in any real visible order, with an L off to the right of the middle of the board.

Mr. Whoopie continued with his lecture barely pausing for a breath, "Now, as Snowball determined, her portals vary from the wormholes created between the gate devices because they function bi-directionally, while the wormholes are unidirectional, and reciprocal in nature, the front of each connecting to it's pair's front, and the back to it's counterparts back. Your portals instead generate a sideband portal, opening to another plane in the opposite orthogonal vector to the target the front of your portals access. This sideband portal connects to the back sides of both your origin and destination portals, but other than that serves no other intended purpose. However, if you examined the topology of the interdimensional clusters you would notice that both sides of the sideband portal are actually located an equal distance in the opposite direction from each other as well." A set of lines connected the clouds lettered A, F, and L, and it was suddenly easy to see that they were indeed in a triangle, with each line the same length. "The thing you need to grasp here is that all these realities are in a cluster. Much like the stars in a particular galaxy are grouped together, even if they are tremendous distances apart from one another. What Xander did when opening his portal was more like what the Gate Devices do when opening theirs. Instead of opening a standard portal with the unused sideband portal, he opened a more direct portal with only two ends, and which connected to a different cluster entirely outside of the series of realities you normal travel through. That twist was actually the linier continuation of his portal, but along a vector outside your normal experience, which was why you couldn't follow it, and why after arriving you could no longer locate any familiar reference points, you were in a new cluster, one you had never been to before."

"But if there wasn't a sideband portal, then how could it open bi-directionally? Wouldn't that have made it like the stargate wormholes, where objects have to pass one way from face to face?" Cat asked, confused.

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "Yes. Except for one thing. The front of Xander's portal connected to the back of the exit portal, and the back connected to the front. Allowing the appearance of bi-directional travel from your perspective. But someone coming out of the portal would have emerged from the opposite side they entered from, and vice-versa, stepping through the portal, unlike your own or the wormholes, where you emerge from the same face as you enter."

"How was he able to do that?" Cat asked in a bit of awe as her mind finally grasped the geometry of the portal, and she saw the way that twist worked, only it wasn't really a twist at all, it was more a lack of the twist she had always used, the same twist which required the existence of the sideband portal to make it work.

"He didn't have any preconceptions on how a portal should be made. In fact, his concept involved only the two sides, the here and the there, he didn't know he should have a sideband portal, so he didn't. But he subconsciously invested the same relative energy in creating the portal as you always had, however with the greater amount of power the two of you possess, coupled with the fact he was only creating a single reciprocal tunnel," the black board cleared, leaving just the three clouds and the triangle connecting them. Then everything shrank, and the triangle from all but one cloud, folded out into a straight line, and extended to almost three times its previous combined length as it did so, "the reach of that expanded power was significantly extended." Another cloud had appeared, and the line ended in it. "Allowing you to access an entirely new cluster of realities. Ones not connected in any way with your native subset."

"So that's why neither of us could get back where we started, we weren't looking far enough away, or in the right direction?" Cat asked.

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "Yes. But if you were to open a new tunnel along the opposite vector, you should easily find your home domain. Of course, now that you know how to access other domains as well as the various realities in your own cluster, you will need to adjust your perceptions to enfold almost another order of magnatude worth of variants. But after the two of you have done so, it shouldn't be too hard for Xander to find his own reality amongst the more familiar ones back in your native domain. Not even from here. If he figures out how to look. And you can show him that."

Xander, who was finding most of this going right over his head, despite the pictures on the blackboard finally had to ask a question he thought he might understand the answer to. "Mr. Whoopie, why is the sky blue?"

Mr Whoopie blinked at the sudden unexpected change in topic. "Well, you see Xander, when the sunlight passes through the atmosphere, the various particles block some of the frequencies of the spectrum, scattering the blue light away from the yellows and reds, much like a rainbow from a prism, only in this case you are inside the prism. Thus the light which reaches the ground is more yellow. This is also why the sunset and sunrise are red, because the greater depth of the atmosphere the light is passing through allows a greater filtering of the colors."

"Cool. Um, what about Teflon. If nothing sticks to Teflon, is there anything Teflon will stick to?" Xander asked.

Mr. Whoopee nodded, "Rubber molding compound for one. Actually there are several synthetic rubbers which will chemically bond with the Teflon, and they will become virtually inseparable. Any other questions?"

Xander nodded, "Yeah, you said you wouldn't even exist if we weren't being chronicled. But if you're the Creator of like everything, then wouldn't you have to exist, even if there wasn't anything else? Didn't you have to exist before?"

In an act faintly reminiscent of Giles, Mr. Whoopie took off his glasses and cleaned them before replying. "I see I didn't make myself quite clear. When I said even I would not exist, I was referring to I as in this aspect of me. In other words to myself as represented by Phineas J. Whoopie, not as The Creator entirely. And don't forget, I also pointed out that even if we didn't exist here, there would still be other iterations of us elsewhere, they just wouldn't be US. But they would still be us in the more general sense, just different. Remember, it's the differences which provide the textures that allow experience to be enjoyed. Even the bad parts serve to offset the good parts, no matter how painful things may get from time to time, if there wasn't anything good to contrast it to, it wouldn't matter. And sadly, without those bad times to provide their own contrast, the good times wouldn't matter either. This is why people often don't appreciate what they have until after the fact, it is the absence which provides the contrast that allows one to appreciate having had it in the first place."

Xander nodded, "Ok, I think I get it this time. One last question. What is the creamy white filling inside Twinkies?"

Mr. Whoopie looked at him and shook his head, "Are you sure you really want to know?"

Xander nodded, "I love Twinkies. And I've always wondered what the creamy goodness really was. I can bake golden cakes, but without the filling, they just wouldn't be Twinkies. I pondered this a lot while I was stuck in Hell."

Mr. Whoopee shook his head sadly and replied, "Mostly it's Crisco and Corn Syrup, with some vanilla for flavoring."

Xander nodded eagerly, then his face suddenly fell. "Crisco, as in lard?" he asked.

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "Well, these days it's a synthetic, but yeah, at one point it was butter, lard, sugar, and vanilla."

Xander shrugged, "Ok. Heh, I think the original Twinkies were made with banana filling, so I won't hold the synthetic lard against it. After all, it's used in the cake part as well."

Mr Whoopie smiled warmly at the couple before him, before turning back to his blackboard again, "Ok, I think we're about done. However there's one more thing I want to go over with you before you leave."

Xander looked over at Cat, who simply smiled as they turned their attention once more to the small man with the big head.

The Pentagon's Emergency Response Team was seated in the briefing room at Groom Lake. 

As the briefing proceeded, the mixed team which included Seals, Rangers, and just about any other special forces types who had been available to be flown in within the past ten hours began to realize just how deep the shit they had been dropped into really was. As John 'Reaper' Grimm, one of the Marines who had a history as a scientist before his enlistment put it, "When they said the Air Force pukes were goin' ta Hell, I didn't think they meant it literally!"

His main concern upon the start of the briefing had been for his sister. He knew she worked here somewhere at the Groom Lake facility, and he'd long suspected it was at Area 51, which was right next door to the outbreak apparently, which started in some labs at Area 52.

His fears had been allayed however when he saw her across the compound on his arrival. Just before Major Samantha Carter had presented him with the prototype energy weapon which was to be 'his' for the duration. Apparently DARPA wanted to test the device under field conditions, and had authorized it's employment here. His scientific background, according to Major Carter, had qualified him to be the tester. That and the fact that he would be on the front lines in what was to be maintained as a stand-off engagement, due mostly to the fact that any contact with the blood of the hostiles was apparently infectious, resulting in a soldier joining the ranks of the enemy within minutes to hours of exposure, the time between seeming to be a function of several unknown factors, as was the resultant type of hostile produced, as several notable features seemed present on some and not on others.

When the briefing was completed, he held his new BFG bravely before himself as he followed the rest of his 'team" out the doors and into the cold, clear, Nevada night. Their mission was simple, don't let the demons, for there was no doubt in the minds of anyone at that briefing that that was what the fallen soldiers they were facing had become, get out of the perimeter. They weren't even trying to push them back yet, just trying to hold them. Because the shining lights of Las Vegas was less than a hundred and fifty miles away. And the results if even one made it that far were cataclysmically unthinkable.

"So, have you decided what you are going to do?" Mr. Whoopie asked Xander as he put his piece of chalk back down.

"About what?" Xander asked.

"Janus. You. Sunnydale. The so called 'Powers that be' and the Compact."

"I don't know." Xander replied honestly.

"Well, as I said, it seems like it would be a violation of the intent of the Compact for Janus to have another god as his champion. Not that it's specifically against the rules, but the fact remains it would throw everything out of balance if you used even your own full powers in Sunnydale. If you drew upon Janus's as well, which as his champion you are able to do, the results, well, I'm not sure what they would be, but it certainly wouldn't be good." Mr. Whoopie said.

"But, can't I remain his champion, assuming he still wants me and not draw on his powers? I mean, I never even knew I could do so before, so doesn't that mean that I could just not do it from now on anyhow?"

Mr. Whoopie nodded, "I suppose you could, if you were able to restrain yourself from drawing on your own powers then refraining from drawing on your patron's shouldn't be an issue. But the Powers are certain to complain in any event, unless you agree to sign the Compact yourself. Even then I expect them to complain, as they really don't like you for some reason."

"Well, that's one thing I'm sure about, I'm not signing the Compact. It sounds to me like it's just set up to allow the Powers That Be to meddle to their heart's content." Xander said emphatically.

"Well, you don't have to sign the Compact if you don't wish to, it is entirely voluntary. As is joining a Pantheon. Although since Snowball is already a part of the Egyptian pantheon, and Janus is a part of the Roman pantheon, either one would be a good fit and both should be willing to accept you." Mr. Whoopie said.

Xander shrugged. "Again. Not really feeling the urge to join anything at the moment. Maybe later, but I never was one for the clubs, ya know. Never joined the Scouts, or any of the school teams, or anything for that matter."

Mr. Whoopie nodded. "That's fine, Alexander. But still if you do decide to try and limit yourself you will need to define limits, and stick to them, at least as far as combat goes. For example, even before your trip to Hell and your joining with Snowball, your personal powers were almost too much for a reasonable balance in Sunnydale, the only opponent who was really worthy of your efforts was the vampiric slayer, Kendra. And now days, your native strength and speed alone put you so far above any opponent you are likely to face as to make any comparisons ridiculous. Yet I can't picture either yourself or your new wife happily sitting at home while others go out and face the dangers of the night in the defense of humanity."

"Well, what if I were to say, restrict myself to no more than I was able to do before I ended up in Hell, not counting that calling on Janus's power thing you mentioned. I mean, I wasn't a problem before, I was barely able to take out Kendra you know."

Mr. Whoopie shook his head, "Your limitations even then were mostly in your own head. You didn't understand what you could do, so you didn't try to do it. For example, you could have easily allowed otherwise fatal blows to be sustained to your body in a combat situation, and either shrugged them off or ignored them until such a time as you wanted to let yourself be healed. Instead you avoided damage much as you would have needed to do when you were still a normal human. Once you had been possessed by the Primal, even before the Halloween changes were imposed on you, your healing and resistance to damage were significantly enhanced. It was mostly your own preconceptions and ingrained habits which impaired you. I'm not sure the balance in Sunnydale would survive long term exposure to the pressure you, not to mention Snowball, could put on it, this on top of the pressure already being exerted by the ex-slayer Buffy and the ensouled Vampire Liam, as well as the friends of your calling themselves the Scoobies."

Xander blinked, "Who's Liam?" he asked.

Mr. Whoopie looked over at Xander then his eyes widened, "Oops. Oh well, I suppose you'll find out soon enough anyhow. The Powers That Be have been working to get the vampire who calls himself Angel back from Hell. Once he rejoins your friends in Sunnydale his presence will almost provide an overwhelming imbalance towards one side of the field. Which is why I am so concerned about adding both yourself and Snowball to the mix as well. Even with the extra boost the other side has already provided to its forces in response to the survival of Ms. Summers, it really wouldn't be fair to allow you to tip the scales further."

"But we're talking about evil here. Vampires kill humans just to feed." Xander tried to explain.

"And humans raise cows just so they can kill them and grind their corpses up to make hamburgers. If you asked the cow what she thought, I'm sure she'd find the idea of a Bar-B-Que to be quite distasteful. After all, humans could restrict their diets to plants should they so choose. The deliberate industrial murder of other beings just for their flavor could be seen as just as evil as could the simple stalking and killing of the weaker of the humans to feed. A vampire must drink blood to survive, it's how they're made. But a human doesn't HAVE to eat meat, they just choose to do so. Killing a slow, weak, or stupid human has a positive effect on the species as a whole from a purely evolutionary point of view, so the vampires could even be seen as being beneficial to the species as a whole. However, it's not the simple vampire I am concerned with. Their numbers in your home are more than enough to survive almost any effort you and your friends would put forth, with an entire globe across which to distribute their numbers, the few which wander into your range are but a sliver of the whole. No, it is the other demons for which I am concerned. A concern which we have yet to address."

"So you aren't worried about the vampires. What, do you think I'd go out to Willies and just start killing everyone there one night? When I used to patrol with Buffy, or even on my own, we mostly just watched for aggressive actions. Passive demons we left alone. I don't see why I'd feel compelled to change that policy now. Or why Cat would want to do anything more than simply save the lives directly endangered in our presence." Xander explained.

"True. But what of the forthcoming struggles. Your presence could easily alter the outcomes of several events. Granted, a successful apocalypse is not good for anyone, at least not in the long run, but it's not always supposed to be you who's saving the world. If people don't take care of things themselves, they will lose the ability to take care of themselves. It was because people were turning to the gods and other spirits all the time for aid they really didn't need that the Compacts were first proposed and adopted. No one at the time could argue that the constant intervention in the lives of humanity was a good thing. Granted, I think the pendulum has swung too far the other way these days, but that is the nature of a balance, it's never actually static, it varies, one way or the other, seeking an equilibrium which it will never achieve."

Cat spoke up now, "But my mother interacts all the time in the lives of the people where she lives. That's why her cult is the dominant religion there, she's the only god who regularly responds, even if she more often than not responds with a refusal to intercede. They at least know she has considered the matter. How is that a bad thing?"

Mr. Whoopie shook his head, "It isn't. But mostly because of what you said, that she generally declines to take action, forcing her people to stand on their own. Since one of the ways spiritual beings become more powerful is by the faith of their followers, many were tempted to do whatever was asked of them so as to garner more favor amongst the humans. Over time this gave some beings far more power than they had started with, but at the cost of the initiative, creativity, and self sufficiency of the people they called their own. Most of those people died when the gods withdrew from everyday life, generally because they had become so dependant on deific support that they couldn't exist without it. And that was not the reason for their existence. People are meant to stand on their own, to discover their own solutions and to stretch themselves to achieve their goals. Granted, that means some will fall along the way, but humans are genuinely happiest when they have done something they can feel proud of. And that happiness is something to be cherished. But if they are never allowed to fail, then they are never allowed to succeed on their own either, and without that success, they never even get a taste of the joy of accomplishment. And that is true evil."

"So you're saying that if I go back to Sunnydale and help Buffy save the world that I'll become evil because I'll be stealing the feeling of success or accomplishment from her by doing her job for her?" Xander asked, finally getting the point.

Mr. Whoopie nodded. "Precisely. The thing you will need to remember, if you do go back, is that while it is fine to help, you MUST restrict yourself to doing just that, helping. Not doing everything yourselves, no matter how dangerous it might be to let the others take up a part, sometimes a large part, of the challenge. Because if they are never in danger of failing, then they are also never in danger of succeeding. And that success is far more important to them than even their lives at times. Remember, even if they fall to death, that is not the end. But if they have no chance at success you may as well snuff out their eternal existence right away, for the rest of eternity will be a bland and boring existence, unworthy of even consideration."

"So how do I help without taking away the challenge?" Xander asked.

Mr. Whoopie shrugged, "That my dear Alexander, is your own challenge. It will vary from time to time, but rest assured, if there ever does come a time when only you can act, I'll let you know. In fact, if you can pull off the balancing act, not only will you manage to continue in your role as Janus's Champion, but you will be mine as well, in a way. I believe you can do it, otherwise I wouldn't let you return. But I will warn you it won't be easy. Nothing worthy ever is."

Xander nodded, accepting the new challenge. "Ok. I think I understand."

Mr. Whoopie smiled. "Good. Now, as I said, there are times your help will be needed. One of those times is coming up soon. You need to deal with the problem your presence caused in the last reality you two visited. Ask someone sometime about rabbits and Australia, what has happened to that reality is something similar. And it was not destined to occur. Which makes it your specialty, Alexander. For you are the undestined god. Where you walk, plans will be set awry, and futures become uncertain. The changes may be for the better, or not, but that there will always be changes is the only certainty."

Xander frowned as he tried to understand that last bit.

Mr. Whoopie however opened a door and gestured to a hallway beyond it. "Go now. Find the path you must take. Beyond each door lays an entire reality. Most are in separate clusters. Find the one which calls to you, and then find your way home. For that is still something you must accomplish, one last part of your own immediate challenge which you must face to become all which you can become. And don't hesitate to ask for help if you feel you need it. Granted, much like Snowball's mother, the answer may more often than not be 'No', but it never hurts to ask. And who knows, sometimes, that answer might just be a 'Yes.'"

Xander and Cat stepped into the hallway, a seemingly endless corridor stretching out before them, and as he turned around to look back at Mr. Whoopie, Xander realized it also stretched out behind them as well, innumerable doorways dwindling to invisibility in the far distance in both directions.

Looking down at himself Xander noticed something new as well. "Hey, check it out! I'm back in color, and I'm not a cartoon cat!"

He looked over at Cat, and noticed she also had resumed her normal human appearance, her hair once more it's almost white blonde color, and the green of her eyes shining at him in that way that always made him... Suddenly overtaken by the impulse he reached out and kissed his wife deeply and lovingly. And for that seemingly endless moment, all was well with the cosmos.

Elsewhere, The Creator smiled at his children. For no matter who the biological parents were, that's what everyone was for him, his children. And he liked to see them happy.

To Be concluded in Chapter 24 - "Knight Errant" 


	24. Knight Errant Part 24 – Loose Ends

Chapter 24 - Loose Ends

The hallway stretched out both before and behind Cat and Xander, the doors along both sides dwindling with distance until they were impossible to make out.

Xander looked at Cat and asked, "So, what do we do, just find a door and open it?"

Cat shrugged. "I suppose so."

Walking to the closest door, they examined it.

It was a normal wooden door, set in a normal wooden frame.

With a shrug, Xander opened it, revealing a stretch of a course sandy beach, waves rolling in from the ocean to lap along the sand.

And crawling out of the waves was a crustacean. It was vaguely like a lobster. Any definition beyond that was impossible.

The first thing you noticed about it was it's size. Easily four feet long, as large as a dog. Next most noticeable were it's huge claws, each over a foot in length themselves.

As the next wave rolled in the creature froze, raising it's claws in the air as though daring the wave to strike it, which it did, rolling over the creature and pushing it further towards the shore before receding with a wake of foam.

The creature was closer to the open doorway now, it's eyes mounted on their long stalks firmly fixed on it as it slammed first one claw into the sand, then another and pulled itself along towards them. The beak which comprised its mouth opened, and it spoke, "Dad-a-  
cham? Ded-a-check?" It's voice sounded almost human, as it paused, raising it's claws once more to threaten an advancing wave, then as the water receded it resumed it's progress towards the door, once more asking "Did-a-chick? Dum-a-chum?" in it's plaintive voice.

Xander looked at it, then back at Cat, "I don't know about you, but I don't think that thing belongs in my world. Let's try another door."

With that they closed the door, leaving it behind them, a simple doorway in a frame, standing unsupported on the sand. The Lobster thing made a plaintive complaint of "Dum-a-chick!" then froze to face another wave.

Reaper Grimm decided he liked the BFG. Apparently the weapon was based on some offshoot of wormhole technology, generating an unstable wormhole effect when it struck a solid object above a certain mass limit, and transposed the contents of the target zone with those of the point approximately a quarter of a light-year away along the vector of the beam. The visible consequences of activating the weapon was that a twelve foot diameter globe of reality centered on whatever you were pointing it at just disappeared, leaving a smoking crater behind, the sand and dirt melted to a bowl shaped depression of bubbling glass in the wake of the discharge.

Of course, it couldn't fire more than once every second or so, and took almost a half a second to generate it's effect after the trigger was pulled, but in the hours he'd been testing it on the line it had disposed permanently of over a hundred of the ugly bastards coming out of the darkness towards them.

It had also partly disposed of a few more, and he's watched in sick fascination as the remaining body parts would heal, then resume their attack, or if there wasn't enough to heal would melt into a bubling pile of goo and seep into the sand.

He'd also seen several of his fellow soldiers get splashed by blood from one of these fuckers, and then to his horror start to change, until they too were among the numbers of the inhuman enemy. Standing orders now were that anyone who started to exhibit signs of changing were to be shot at once. Cruel as it sounded, it really was the only response, because once the change had run its course, the creature they became was almost immune to bullets. Almost. Enough trauma could put one of these things down, at least for a time. But that was the key, time. After a short respite the creature would rise again, like the monster from a cheap horror film, and continue it's rampage.

Which was why he REALLY liked the BFG. Alone of all the soldiers here on the line between what had once been the north western most corner of Nellis Air Force Base, his was the only weapon which was consistently eliminating the enemy. Sometimes two or three in one shot, if he could line it up right. He just hoped that it didn't run out of that naquada stuff Dr. Carter told him it was powered by. Because without the Big Fucking Gun on their side, well, they'd be fucked.

Opening another door after a short walk down the hall, Xander instantly recognized the voice coming from the darkness beyond as it said, "...eyond this door lies a..." before he closed it again.

Cat looked at him and he shook his head, "Not my world. Trust me, not one I want to visit either, I have enough weird shit in my life already."

Cat nodded, not really understanding, but they trudged along anyhow. She reached out at random and opened a door as they passed, revealing a skinny middle aged man in white pants and a red shirt, a white cap on his head gaping at them. His eyes traced the edges of the doorway as he dropped the coconuts he was carrying, then he looked over his shoulder and ran off into the jungle screaming "Skipper! Professor!" as he went.

Cat closed the door again, and they continued down the hall.

Xander was the next one to open a door. His doorway revealed another hall, but this one was not real per se, rather was animated. Suddenly an anthropomorphic rabbit popped out of the closest door and looked at him, "Ah, what's up Doc?" he asked, puling a carrot out of nowhere and starting to nibble on it. Xander shook his head and slid his door closed again. "Nope. Not gonna be a cartoon, not even in color. Not gonna happen."

They continued for a significant distance along the hall, not even trying the doors for a bit. "Do you suppose they're in any sort of order?" Xander asked.

Cat shrugged, then made her way to another door, opening it to reveal what looked like the entryway to a very expensive mansion. Until a large man in overalls ran through, chasing a pig.

Xander reached out and closed the door, "Nope. That was Jethro Clampbet. So not my world." He paused and looked along the seemingly endless corridor. "This is almost futile. Unless I open one of these doors to reveal Buffy fighting a vamp, how am I going to know which world is the right one? I mean so far they've been easy enough to disqualify, but if I don't recognize anything wrong, and we go through and get stuck, we could end up worse off then we were before."

Cat nodded, but resumed her walk down the hallway. "The Creator sent us here. He wouldn't have done so without a reason."

The next door she opened looked out on a lake. Along the shore of the lake was a kid's summer camp, various teenagers wandering around in the distance. Xander looked at it and shuddered, "No. Not gonna go there. I don't recognize the camp, but I recognize the vibe. Jason or some chain saw maniac will come leaping out at us if we go through that door."

Xander closed the door and started walking, never noticing the girl who looked just like Willow, as Michelle made her way across Band Camp.

General Hammond set the receiver of the red phone back down on his desk, and looked across the surface at his 2IC. "Well, it's an official order from the CIC. We are to summon Cat and ask her to assist us."

"But Sir, she'd only agreed to assist with the Goa'uld. This problem isn't one of theirs."

Hammond shook his head, "Jack, unless we can get assistance within the next few hours, the President will have no option but to order a nuclear strike in order to attempt to contain the situation. He won't be able to pull the troops on the line there out, and need I remind you that Major Carter is currently among those troops, assisting the other scientists in trying to come up with viable approaches to contain the situation. Even discounting the loss of life to our own personnel, we are talking a surface blast of a megaton range weapon only a bit more than a hundred miles from Las Vegas, and the results from the fallout would be catastrophic, not to mention the political repercussions of such an act. Not that the alternative, allowing this infection to spread into the general population would be any less devastating. No, we need to get help, and we need it now. Colonel, go get the Twinkies."

Colonel O'Neill stood, replied with a sharp, "Yes Sir." as he gave the General a crisp salute, before turning and making his way swiftly out the door.

Xander looked back over his shoulder when he heard footsteps approaching up the endless corridor.

And he stopped in shock.

Rushing towards them along the corridor was a six foot tall white rabbit, looking at a pocket watch.

Cat and Xander stepped to opposite sides of the corridor as the rabbit charged past them, before skidding to a halt a few doors on down the way and charging through it.

Xander looked at Cat. Cat looked at Xander. They both followed the rabbit, and opened the door.

Peering out, they saw an older man, dressed in a suit addressing the rabbit. "Now, Harvey, you can't keep running out like that, people will think I'm crazy."

Xander backed away and softly closed the door, looking over at Cat and shaking his head. "Nope, not my world."

With that they continued on down the hall.

Reaper Grimm pulled the trigger on the BFG yet again. He'd lost count of how many shots he'd fired, or how many monsters he'd sent away in blue flashes of light. But whatever the number it was getting to be more than his finger could handle, and the seemingly innumerable glass dimples marking the earth before him testified mutely that it was quite a large number indeed.

So it shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone when as yet another creature broke through the line and charged at Reaper that the BFG responded only with a click and a bleep as he lined up on the charging monster and pulled the trigger.

After almost a full second of stunned silence on Reaper's part however, as he processes the lack of action on the part of the BFG his instincts took over, tossing the BFG at the beast as he himself dove out of the way of the monster, he searched the ground for something else he could use as a weapon.

Disregarding the scattered assault rifles, left behind by soldiers who had personally learned the uselessness of bullets against creatures which could heal in seconds from normally fatal wounds, he turned and ran for the scattered buildings and sheds which had been behind him at the edge what had once been the base. As he ran, he realized that during the course of the afternoon he had somehow ended up alone on the front line, his comrades either having been driven back or fallen to the enemy. 

He had been positioned at the edge of a complex of work sheds, and now he turned his attention to the nearest of those, using his sidearm to blast the lock off the aluminum storage shed before hurling the door open to peer inside. But he didn't see anything immediately useful within.

A savage growl from behind him however cause him to leap into the shed itself, where he landed behind a open-frame wheel barrow, his knee painfully digging into the edge of a chainsaw as he landed.

Standing in the door was the same beast the BFG had failed to eliminate. Apparently throwing the BFG at it hadn't been much more effective than the thugs tossing their guns at Superman on TV. When their own bullets failed to work A six foot tall grayish hunk of muscle with obscenely long arms ending in oversized hands, each finger terminating in a sharp slightly curved talon. What the hell the demon in the doorway was supposed to be he wasn't sure, but whatever it was it certainly wasn't friendly, not if the expression on formed by it's beady red eyes and the gleaming fangs of it teeth meant anything.

The monster reached towards Reaper, and he instinctively reached down, lifting the chainsaw up to block the swing by it's enormous taloned hand.

The creature banged its hand into the blade of the chainsaw, its serrated teeth gouging chunks of its flesh out in a spray of blood, and the beast roared in anger and pain.

Suddenly seeing an opportunity, Reaper shifted his grip and freed a hand to yank on the pull-cord for the starter on the off chance the chainsaw would fire up.

A new snarling roar filled the shed to drown out the sounds from the monster as the chainsaw leaped to life in his hand, and shifting it back to a two handed grip Reaper went back on the offensive. He was well aware that exposure to these things blood was almost invariably fatal. But if he was going down, at least he'd take a few more with him. After all, how could he do anything less?

A few minutes later, a blood splattered Reaper strode out of the doors of the shed, the softly rumbling chainsaw still gripped in his left hand. He stood on the threshold of the shed looking out into the early afternoon light, seeking another target. In his mind he was already dead, but as long as he was moving, he'd help his remaining comrades as best as he could. Every one of the creatures he took out here, was one less to attack them. Even if he joined the ranks of the enemy along the way, if he took out even one more of them than himself, the rest would come out ahead. And if he was able to take out himself right at the end, it would be a win-win, at least for the survivors.

He bent down and scooped up a single abandoned grenade he found laying on the ground as he made his way deeper into the area infested by the monsters. If nothing else, he should be able to use it to finish himself off, when the time came and he started to change.

Xander opened yet another door, this one looking out on yet another tropical setting. A very short man dressed all in white ran past, screaming "De Plane! De Plane" and Xander shook his head as he slid the door closed yet again.

"Not right?" Cat asked.

"Not unless we want to take a vacation on Fantasy Island." Xander explained.

The next door looked out on a desolate post apocalyptic landscape, and the one after that opened into a genuine old-west casino, complete with dancing girls and six-shooter toting cowboys.

"Without knowing the pattern here, this really is a futile effort." Xander complained.

"Well, we could just choose one and go through, then see if anything felt familiar on the other side." Cat offered.

Xander shrugged. "If even one looks likely that's what we'll do. But I'm not stepping out into Wild Wild West or War of the Worlds if I can avoid it."

Can nodded, and they continued walking along the hall, opening doors at random. The view through one almost drew Xander's presence, not because it looked remotely like a way home, but because if he wasn't mistaken the man who resembled Sean Connery and was shooting at a bald man who was firing back with a laser weapon inside some sort of underground industrial complex was almost certainly James Bond, and Xander would have really liked to meet the famous 007, however that moment didn't look like it would be a good time.

Another door showed a Delorean, it's surface covered with odd accoutrements skidding to a stop across a mall parking lot as vapor escaped from the vents on the back. Xander wasn't sure what it was, but it looked like a familiar scene. In any case, the presence of the car ruled that doorway out.

Cat opened a door which seemed to lead out to a forest, only a glance up at the sky showed what looked like the rings of Saturn visible through the glass dome overhead. A small robot could be seen trundling along a dirt path a short distance away, but other than that nothing else was moving.

While Xander was interested in stepping through to explore, Cat wasn't, so they closed the door and moved on.

Xander could understand Cat's growing boredom with the endless doorways to elsewhere, especially since none of them seemed even remotely close to where they wanted to go.

He opened yet another door, this one showing the open deck of a cruise ship, then the next one he opened looked out on a small town in what appeared to be middle America. Finally he'd had enough, "Ok, fine. Let's just go through like you said, and see where we are. If we don't like it, we can always come back, right?"

Cat smiled and nodded at him. "It looks ok, I don't see anything obviously wrong with this one at least, and once we're through, I can see if I can find someplace familiar and open a portal to there."

With that, Xander took Cat's hand, and they stepped through the door onto the sidewalk across from someplace that looked like an old movie theatre called "The Talon".

General Hammond looked up with relief as Jack O'Neill came back into his office, a box of Twinkies and some decorative candles clutched in his hands. "So, where exactly are we planning on making this shrine to Cat?" he asked as he carefully deposited his load on the General's desk.

General Hammond gestured to a pair of filing cabinets set against the wall, the scroll already opened up and taped to the wall above them. "I was thinking over there, right on top of the cabinet. Do you think we should call Dr. Jackson in to help us?"

Jack shook his head, "Not unless it doesn't work, she said not to spread it around, and if we don't need him, we shouldn't let him in on how to summon her, he might do it when it wasn't needed and make her mad. And I for one don't want to make a young lady who can whistle up an entire Death Star complete with a Darth Vader mad at me, no matter how real or not she said it was."

General Hammond nodded in agreement, and started setting up the candles on the corners of the two cabinets, while Jack placed a single still wrapped Twinkie into the center of the area. "Don't you think we should unwrap it?" he asked Jack as he started lighting the candles.

Jack shrugged, "I dunno. She didn't say. But I know if I was offered an unwrapped Twinkie I'd want it at least on a plate, and you don't have any plates in here. So unless you want me to run down to the mess hall and appropriate one, I say we try it wrapped first and see what happens."

General Hammond agreed with that, and went to turn the main lights off in the room. "Ok, Colonel, let's 'pray' and hope Cat hears us, and responds."

And with that the two senior officers of SG1, earth's primary defense force against external threats bowed their heads over the Twinkie, and started to offer up a prayer for help from Snowball, the goddess also known as Cat Harris.

Reaper Grimm stalked through the desolate battle torn landscape, as his nose itched and his eyes burned.

He'd survived longer than he'd expected. Perhaps simply being exposed to the blood wasn't as bad as he'd been led to expect. And so far, he'd managed to avoid injuries himself. And thinking back on the soldiers he'd seen exposed and changing that may well be the key, blood to blood contact, not just blood to skin contact. 

Which brought him to the problem of his nose and eyes. Once he'd considered the possibility the virus or whatever the hell it was may not be quite as immediately contagious as had been assumed, he realized that while he'd been lucky so far, that luck wouldn't hold out forever, and since his hands were more than covered in whatever it was, touching his face in any way was out of the question, for the delicate membranes of the nose or the eye probably would not be able to prevent infection. And as soon as that thought crossed his mind, his nose had started to itch. And not long after his eyes, not to be left out started to burn, making him want oh so badly to rub them. But he refrained.

So far the only abrasion he'd received had been where the very chainsaw he now carried had scraped him through his clothes. Clothes it fortunately hadn't torn. He liked his chainsaw. He's had to refuel it once already, and unfortunately had used the rest of the jerry can of gasoline he'd liberated from the crumpled humm-vee to burn up a lumpy demon which hadn't seemed to mind when parts had been carved off it, the creature even replacing it's head after he'd decapitated it. When he'd managed to bisect the beast, only to have it start to form into two half-sized creatures, he'd had enough, and pouring the rest of his fuel on the temporarily incapacitated creatures had lit them on fire. That had worked at least. They had both howled mournfully as they had writhed in flaming agony, but eventually they stilled, and when he stomped the smoking residue for good measure, nothing moved on its own.

He was a bit worried about fuel. It had been almost an hour since he'd last topped up the small tank in the chainsaw, and while he'd resorted to leaving it off when not actively confronting one of the ambling creatures, he was worried about how much longer it would continue to run for him on demand.

A noise from behind him was all the warning he had of yet another attack. The closer he had gotten to what the maps in the briefing had labeled as Area 52, the smarter and stronger the opponents he'd been facing had become, almost like he was being put through a deliberate gauntlet.

Whirling, he found a large greenish creature, with spikes coming out of its arms, raising from a hidden door in the rubble he'd just picked his way through.

Reaching down and swiftly pulling the cord on the chainsaw, he brought it up to block the creature's first attack, the saw clanging loudly as it'd whirring blade impacted on the bone of the spike.

Metal chain and supernatural bone fought one another as the creature howled in apparent pain. It brought up it's other arm, extending a second bone spike violently towards Reaper's torso, and only a last moment twist of his body let him avoid impalement. It however was not fast enough to save either his shirt, or prevent the sharp end from inflicting a long scratch along his previously unmarred skin.

Pulling the chainsaw away from it's futile attack on the creature's spike. He rolled along the ground, then climbed once more to his feet and swung the buzzing chainsaw at the creature's legs.

It bit into the flesh of the closest leg, then stopped moving with a shuddering "thunk".

Reaper looked down at the chainsaw, then back up at the growling beast as it towered above him.

The monster leaned it's head forward, looking down at him as he lay, almost defeated at it's feet.

Seeing no other option, Reaper reached for the grenade he still carried at his belt.

He looked up at the monster, maintaining eye contact with it as it gave a slight shudder, then leaned its head further down, almost impossibly far, where it paused for a moment before tearing off the creature's shoulders and falling to the ground next to Reaper's own head.

The now headless body above him swayed once, then crumpled to the side, revealing the blood splattered form of a blonde woman clothed in the tattered remnants of a civilian security consultant's uniform, and clutching a bloody axe in her hands.

He blinked up at her, and examined her form warily for any sign of aggression. She on the other hand had her eyes firmly fixed on his crotch as she stood unmoving. Or no, not on his crotch, on the grenade in his hands.

"Uh, hi." He said, uncharacteristically stuck for words.

"Are you going to thank me for saving your ass, or are you still set on blowing your wad?" she asked, her voice a welcome intrusion against the sudden silence of the desert.

Reaper looked at the grenade in his hands, then back at her, "I don't know, are you planning to bite me or morph into an ugly?"

The woman shrugged, "Uglies? Is that what the kids are calling them these days? Well I don't think I bite, and I haven't turned into one of those things yet, so I'd think not. But you never know."

Reaper slowly removed his hands from the grenade, and the woman's stance relaxed slightly.

"John Grimm. Call me Reaper." He introduced himself, reaching a hand out as he rose to his feet.

"Alice, I think." She replied, taking his hand in a surprisingly strong grip.

"You think?" he asked in confusion.

"Yeah, kinda having a sort of identity crisis here. I woke up in some underground lab, surrounded by uglies like the headless wonder over there." She said, gesturing at the corpse of the demon she'd just slain, which was now starting to dissolve into a greenish puddle of goo, a common trait he'd noticed amongst the successfully killed monsters. He'd learned that if they don't melt, they really aren't dead. "So anyhow, I broke the straps holding me down, kicked the asses of the things that attacked me, found this ax, and learned that if you cut them up enough, it usually puts them down."

"Usually?" Reaper asked, thinking back to the blobby monster he'd had to burn.

"Yeah, the main Ugly, he dosen't seem to care much what you do to him. Only reason I'm not dead is he got mad and knocked me through a wall when we were fighting, and I decided discretion was the better part of valor, and kept moving once I landed and healed enough to move again."

Sudden alarm bells went off in Reapers head at that, and he carefully asked, "What do you mean healed enough?"

She looked down at the ground and mumbled something he couldn't make out.

"What?" he asked, "Please say that again, only out loud this time."

She looked up and met his eyes at that. Holding the eye contact she said, "I don't know what those bastards did to me, or even who they are, but I don't think I'm entirely human anymore. Whatever happens to me, I seem to heal from it almost right away, just like the head Ugly. Also, I think I'm quite a bit stronger and faster than I used to be."

"Think?" he asked.

She shrugged, "Before I woke up in that lab, I don't really remember anything specific. Just flashes, glimpses of things. Faces. Phrases, things like that. And I seem to know my way around here, even if I don't remember ever seeing this place before."

Reaper nodded. Then he looked down at the scratch on his chest and winced. "Crap." He complained.

"What?" she asked, confused.

He gestured at the scratch on his chest, the blood slowly oozing out of it. "I've been scratched. That asshole made me bleed."

Alice shrugged, "He's dead now, I think he's the worse of the two of you. Even before, he scratched your chest, you carved half-way through his leg. I think you came out ahead."

Reaper shook his head, "Don't you get it, this shit's contagious. I've been scratched. I'm compromised. Sooner or later, probably sooner, I'm gonna become just another, what ya call em, Ugly."

She took a step back and shook her head, "No, I've bled lots. I just healed up, oh, Damn. I guess I'm not a good example, seeing as how whoever had me strapped to that table in that lab had been fucking with me somehow or another. Maybe they made me immune somehow. And here I was just getting used to having someone to talk to around."

Reaper looked down at the grenade on his belt, then carefully unhooked it and handed it to her. "Here. When I start to change, use this on me."

Alice looked up at him and nodded. "Ok. I suppose it's the least I can do for my new best friend."

"Best friend?" Reaper asked in confusion.

Alice shrugged, "Well, considering you're the first person I've met that hasn't tried to kill me from the start, it's kinda a given. I'd like to think of you as my friend, and since you'd also be my only friend at the moment, that sort of automatically makes you my best friend as well."

Reaper nodded, following the twisted logic, then shrugged, "Well, unless I'm somehow immune to this crap as well, it'll probably be a short lived friendship. But you said there was a head Ugly around here?"

Alice nodded, "Yeah, the others, all seemed to respond to him. In fact, I think he's calling them to him, because as I've been making my way out, there are less and less of the things around."

Reaper looked down at his chainsaw, then back at Alice, "So, you think you can help me find some gas, and perhaps point me in the direction of this Head Honcho? If I'm gonna become another Ugly, I think I want to talk to him about my contract, maybe negotiate an abrupt termination for both him and me, if you know what I mean."

Alice looked speculative for a moment, then nodded, "Ok, Reaper. Let's go get some gas, and kick some ass."

With that she led him away through the wreckage, and Reaper smiled to himself. Things were looking up. If he had to go, at lest he'd made one more friend on his way out. And if Alice kept her promise, he wouldn't have to worry about becoming a threat to the rest of the soldiers, wherever the hell they were holding the line. He'd been living on borrowed time ever since the BFG had crapped out on him, and by his count he'd already taken out six more "Uglies" since he by all rights should have been dead. If he could take out the head honcho on his way, well, what more could he ask for, some all powerful deity to swoop down from the heavens and give him a happy ending?

Cat reached out with her mind and tried to feel for anyplace she recognized. And she failed.

She tried to reach with that extra shift that Xander had used when he'd opened the portal that took them to the false Bast, but even with the additional range provided by that shift in her perceptions, she couldn't touch anything in any direction she felt she had touched before. It was even scarier now then it had been that first time, because she realized that now she understood what it meant, she was able to comprehend just how lost they were, and that realization also allowed her to understand exactly how Xander head felt at not being able to find his Sunnydale. And she felt her pride in her husband grow even more with the realization that for as long as she had known him, he'd been fighting this same panicky tugging to find a way home she now felt full force. And yet he'd been there for her whenever he thought she needed him, putting his own needs second. And it only served to make her love him even more.

She had just opened her eyes to tell her husband that she wasn't able to find anything at all, and suggest they return through the doorway to the endless hall, when she felt an unusual tugging.

Xander gave a start beside her, and looked over at his wife. "Do you feel that?" he asked out loud.

A passing blonde girl stopped at his comment, looking around as if to see what he was talking about.

Cat nodded, "I do. It's almost like..." she trailed off and reached out to take her husband's hand as the tugging grew stronger, almost tangible.

Xander said softly, "I smell a Twinkie. Why do I smell a Twinkie?"

The blonde sniffed the air, not detecting any Twinkie odors, even as Cat replied, "I smell it too. It smell so good. And it's like it's calling for me."

"Me too" Xander said, squeezing Cat's hand. And with that they just vanished, leaving nothing at all behind but a very confused Chole Sullivan, who had yet another entry for her Wall Of Weird, that of the Twinkie Body Snatcher. No one was gonna believe this one.

General Hammond and Jack O'Neill both leapt back in shock as the flames on the candles suddenly leapt up in size, consuming the reaming wax in a sudden blast of warmth and light.

The Twinkie, sitting in the center of the filing cabinet shuddered, then leapt into the air, and a sudden Thump-bang resounded in the General's office as both Xander Harris and Cat materialized on the top of the cabinets, their sudden weight overbalancing them and knocking both figures and the cabinets beneath them to the floor.

The Twinkie fell from the sky and landed on top of Xander, where he lay entangled with Cat on the remnants of the mangled metal cabinets.

Xander looked suspiciously at the Twinkie, then said "Ouch."

Cat untangled herself from Xander, then looked around the office, even as a pair of SF's charged in, guns drawn.

Xander looked sharply over at the newly arrived Airmen, starting to reach for his sword even as the General bellowed out "Stand down!"

Xander froze, his eyes locked on those of the two soldiers, as they slowly lowered their guns, and Xander relaxed as well. "What happened?" he asked, glaring once more at the Twinkie sitting on his stomach.

Cat looked down at her Husband, taking in the Twinkie, then noted the scroll taped to the wall above where the now crumpled cabinets had been, and came to a conclusion. "We were summoned. Apparently the Worms are already causing problems again. Isn't that correct, General?"

Jack looked at General Hammond, who looked back a Jack, as Jack said, "Well, uh, not exactly."

Cat now shifted her gaze from the General to Jack. "You didn't try to summon us with the ritual I told you about?"

Jack shrugged, "Well, yeah, but ya see, about the Goa'uld..."

General Hammond cut the Colonel off, "We have another matter we were hoping to elicit your support in. There's been an outbreak of what can only be described as demons on one of our bases, and we were hoping..."

Xander blinked, "You mean you used that scroll and this Twinkie here to..."

Cat nodded, and reached down, plucking the Twinkie from her husband's stomach and tearing the wrapping open, "Yep." She said, before stuffing almost half the Twinkie in her mouth and biting it off with a mischievous grin.

"Hey! I fell down here too! Why don't I get a Twinkie!" Xander complained.

Jack shook his head and murmured "Oh for crying out loud." And reached into the box, removed another Twinkie, and tossed it at Xander to shut him up, while the Airmen by the door just gawked in silence at the scene before them.

Xander sat up and smiled as he tore open his Twinkie and shoved the whole thing in his mouth at once, then started masticating it with a huge grin on his face.

General Hammond cleared his throat, "About those Demons." He asked, trying to regain attention away from the golden snack cakes.

Cat swallowed the last bite of her Twinkie, eyeing the open box still laying on the General's desk, and said, "I thought you didn't have Demons here in this dimension?"

General Hammond shook his head, "We didn't. But I fear some of Alexander's infected blood may have gotten loose, and apparently the Dr's concerns were in no way unfounded as to what level of danger those prions in his blood could pose."

Xander swallowed, and licked his lips before asking, "What happened, exactly?"

General Hammond shrugged, "From what we can determine, someone within this facility absconded with the original blood samples Dr. Fraiser took from both yourself and your wife. They somehow smuggled them out of this facility to one run by an oversight organization known as the NID, likely the one responsible for the theft of the samples in the first place. They somehow managed to infect someone there with the prions, and they went on a rampage, killing some and injuring others. It's the ones who were injured which proved to be the real problem, as in each case the effected personnel would soon mutate into another demon. As far as we can tell, the mutations vary from individual to individual, but we can't be sure. We believe all the mutations can be traced back to a single entity however, which was filmed near the beginning of the outbreak rampaging through the Area 52 labs. Subsequently all contact with those facilities, as well as the ones located in Area 51 and several other nearby locations has been lost. A joint services task force has so far managed to more or less hold a line against the outbreak, preventing the creatures from reaching Route 375, but the only effective weapon against them fell behind the lines and has been lost. The President's only option at this point is to employ tactical nuclear weapons, however the outbreak is only about a hundred miles from Las Vegas, and less then twenty miles from three separate populated areas. The results of a nuclear detonation that close to populated areas would be catastrophic, granted not as bad as a release of the demons into the general population, but still it's something he would like to avoid at any cost. So we called for you. Will you help us?"

Xander looked at Cat, and they communed across their internal link. The decision to help was unarguable the point of contention was on how to help, and what exactly they could do. Xander wanted to go in with Kusanagi and personally lay waste to all who stood before him. Cat was more inclined to summon assistance from elsewhere, thinking this would be more a case for a group effort of some sort.

Eventually they came to a consensus, they would go to the area and evaluate the situation in person, then take whatever steps seemed appropriate, proving that two heads really were better than one.

A moment later they looked back at the General and nodded, "We'll help." Xander said.

Cat added, "Let me just open a port..."

Jack raised a finger as he said, "Ah." interrupting Cat in mid-word, and reminding her of the last time she tried to open a portal to Nevada from inside the mountain.

Xander felt her perplexity, so he asked her, "Uh, Cat?"

Cat turned to him, grateful for the interruption. "Yes, dear?"

"Um, we didn't use a portal to get here, did we?" Xander asked, going over their arrival in his mind.

"No. We were summoned, so no portal was used. Remember, what you consider as You, your intrusion into reality is really just a manifestation of your will. Well, when you are summoned your, er, focus is forcibly shifted to a new location, which has the effect of moving you there as well, as it were." Cat explained, for the moment ignoring the others in the room.

Xander nodded, "So, what you're saying is that we really don't NEED a portal to go someplace, we just need to do like Dorothy and click our heels together three times?"

Cat shook her head, "Not exactly. Although most beings can't open portals you know. In general when an angel, or a god or goddess or even a powerful enough demon wants to go somewhere, they just shift themselves. Portals are generally used to transport items, or beings, like humans or lower level demons, who can't mentally transport themselves from one location to another. I just use them because it seems easier for me, since it's a natural aspect of my nature, just as it is of my brother's. Now that I know who our father is it makes sense, since Janus is the god of portals."

"So there's this whole other way of traveling around realities you just sort of forgot to mention to me?" Xander asked.

"Not forgot, it just never came up." Cat defended.

"But we could go to Nevada just by focusing or whatever? Do you know how to do it yourself? Can you show me?" Xander asked, taking her hand again and looking carefully at the echo of Cat in his mind to see what she did.

Cat smiled and nodded. "Sure." She looked over at the General and grinned, reaching out and grabbing the rest of the box of Twinkies off his desk as she did so, "We'll take care of the demons General Hammond. And thanks for the Twinkies." She smiled, then closed her eyes to help her focus.

Xander watched as her mind sought out the demons in Nevada. He found he could feel them as well, and together they determined that they were all clustered around a specific area, and with only a little effort Xander found himself and Cat there instead of in the General's office in Colorado. A buzzing roar filled his ears and he opened his eyes just in time to see the chainsaw swinging towards his torso as the man wielding it spun around in shock at his sudden appearance in the middle of a fight with the large, ugly demon on his other side.

There was a woman there as well, a blonde with short hair and an Ax, and even as Xander drew Kusanagi, he knew that even with all his speed he'd barely be able to block the trajectory of the woman's ax, which was already moving along an arc which intersected quite cleanly with Cat's neck. But if he blocked the Ax, what could he do about the chainsaw?

Reaper had followed Alice deeper into what had been the labs and buildings of Area 52.

And where they passed, the Uglies as they had come to call the demonic denizens surrounding them had died.

But it seemed the more they killed, the more they faced. And Reaper could feel the infection starting to effect himself.

His whole body, including his bones, itched. And he was pretty sure it wasn't just all in his mind.

But between the two of them, they had eliminated at least twenty more monsters. But they still hadn't made it back to where Alice had seen the apparent Head Honcho.

And Reaper was pretty sure he wasn't going to make it much further.

He and Alice were in the middle of facing their latest challenge, a large slime covered thing with breath so bad it really was another weapon, when two people literally appeared right in front of them.

Reaper had already started a swipe at the creature with his chainsaw, and out of the corner of his eye he could also see Alice had been in mid swing herself when the two apparent civilians had shown up right out of thin air, in the immediate paths of their weapons.

Xander whipped Kusanagi our with all his inhuman speed, interposing the flat of his blade before the handle of the ax, the impact of the two objects knocking the trajectory of the ax further away from Cat than it's wielder had already diverted it in the fractions of a second she'd had to respond since they had appeared apparently in the middle of a fight.

Xander rolled with his whole body, knocking the hulking slime covered figure which had been behind him as he attempted to avoid the tip of the chainsaw, whose own wielder was also reacting to their appearance by shifting his body back, in an effort to avoid mauling Xander. And had it not been for the slime covered monster behind him, they would have succeeded in their joint efforts.

However when Xander impacted on the demon, he stopped his retreat from the tip of the chainsaw, and it gouged about two inches into the left side of his stomach, blood and shredded cloth splattering all present.

At the same time, pain blossomed from his back, where the acidic slime had eaten almost instantly through his clothes, and started in on his flesh.

Xander drew Kusanagi into his body as he rolled against the ungiving front of the hulking monster, then he shoved out and up with the blade, the tip stabbing up through the chin of the beast and into the brain above.

The monster started to drop, it's slime covered bulk falling directly on top of Xander, even as Cat and the other two fighters moved back from it.

Xander grunted as his front joined his back and his right side in pain as more of the acidic slime covered him from the now dead demon.

Xander could feel Cat starting to move forward to offer assistance to him, and he halted her with the mental equivalent of a shout. Quickly he explained that he was ok, and that the slime was an acid, and to be avoided at all costs. Finally he insisted she give him at least one of her pilfered box of Twinkies as soon as he got himself out of this mess.

He could hear her talking to the other two as he martialed his willpower and energy to extract himself from the situation.

Finally, Xander managed to roll out from under the weight, at only the cost of burning his hands by coating them in slime as well in his efforts.

Finally free, Xander decided to try the same trick he'd used in the infirmary, and momentarily picturing himself as not being at all, reconstituted both himself and his clothing in an entirely slime free and undamaged state.

Reaper watched as the man he'd almost killed, who'd blocked Alice's ax with a blade he hadn't even seen the man draw, slashed up with that same blade, shoving the damn thing point first through the slimy Ugly's hear, the tip of the blade flashing briefly out of the top of the creature's head before retreating as the man retracted his thrust, withdrawing the weapon from the now toppling body of his victim.

The monster then fell on top of the injured man, with a loud, "Splotch" sound, slime splattering the ground and the body of the man with its impact.

He started to move forward to help lift the body of the monster off the man, but the blonde who had shown up with him called out "Wait" with enough urgency in her voice that he stopped short of contact.

"The slime, it's acid. Xander'll get himself out. Just give him a moment." The woman, almost a girl really, explained.

Reaper looked back at the trapped body, and noted that indeed the clothes which remained on his body seemed to be dissolving upon contact with the slime, and the man's skin was bubbling and oozing as well, little sparks of what looked like electricity dancing amongst the blood and bubbles in an odd almost pattern.

Alice started forward herself, "We have to do something." She said, even as the man, apparently named Xander of all things reached out and shoved the body on top of him aside, his hands now bubbling as well with a sickening hiss-pop sound.

The body fell to the floor with a final whump-sklosh sound, and only a rustling as the burnt man moved away and a soft sizzling from the body filled the air.

Then Xander's entire body exploded in light, and when the light faded once more, he stood before them entirely unscathed, even his clothes repaired, the sunset on his silk Hawaiian shirt almost seeming to glow in the early dawn light.

The girl smiled at Xander and reached into the box she was carrying, and withdrawing something tossed it through the air at him.

Xander caught it with a smile, and simply said "Thanks, Cat." Before tearing it open.

The girl, apparently named Cat looked over at himself and Alice, and seemed to blush with embarrassment. "Oh. Where are my manners. I'm so sorry." She said. Reaching back into the box she withdrew another plastic wrapped package. Twinkie?" she offered, holding it out to him.

Reaper's hand automatically extended, and he took the golden snack cake from the girl's hand. She swiftly offered another to Alice, before looking into the box and withdrawing a final cake from within, then discarding the now empty box on top of the now melting demon's corpse.

Reaper looked incongruously at the snack held in his filthy hand, then over at the man, Xander, who was in the process of finishing his own off, them over at the girl, Cat, who had torn her own open and was in the process of munching it down, then finally his eyes met Alice's, and he noted the shared confusion and disbelief he felt echoed in her own face.

To Be Concluded in Chapter 25... 


	25. Knight Errant Part 25 – Tie 'Em Up

Chapter 24 - Tie 'em up, or burn 'em off.

Xander noticed it before either of the other two could bring it up, "Uh, Cat?"

His wife looked over at him as she nibbled at her own Twinkie. "Urma" she asked.

"Uh, I think next time they might be better able to enjoy the sweet goodness of their pristine Twinkies if they didn't have their hands covered in grime and demon blood." Xander pointed out.

Cat's eyes widened, even as Xander closed his eyes and concentrated a bit, manifesting a bucket of clean water and a box of Handi-Wipes. Handing the bucket to the man, who took it with the hand not holding a Twinkie, he set the box of Handi-Wipes on the floor, then closed his eyes again to repeat the process for the woman who was suddenly backing away, and raising her ax once more.

"Who are you guys, or what are you?" she asked, her voice showing more threat than fear or worry in it.

Xander finished manifesting the second bucket and box of wipes and opened his eyes once more.

Cat swallowed the last of her Twinkie then answered, "I'm Cat Harris, a Goddess from the Egyptian Pantheon, most often referred to as the Daughter of Bast. This is my husband, Alexander, Protector of Mankind, and Champion of the Elder God Janus, and chosen wielder of Kusanagi."

Xander offered the pail of water to her, and nodded, "Like she said." He agreed. "Although I don't know about the chosen part, I picked Kusanagi up in hell, and haven't lost her yet, but as to whether she's chosen me or just hasn't found someone better yet, I don't know."

Alice looked once more at the couple, then down at her dirty hands, and at the still wrapped Twinkie she held. Finally she shrugged, and noting Reaper had scrubbed his hands in the water before moving on to the Handi-Wipes, she set her ax and Twinkie down, and warily emulated him, cleaning her hands and even face before retrieving the Twinkie and munching on it, realizing only then just how hungry she really was.

Reaper had finished his own Twinkie in two bites, then looked speculatively at the filthy water in the pail before looking back at the guy who'd apparently pulled it out of thin air. "Not to sound like an ingrate or anything, but do you suppose you could rustle up some clean water? I just realized how long ago my canteen went dry, and even if I'm gonna die from this demon shit soon, I wouldn't mind a drink before I pushed off."

Alice looked up and nodded her agreement, her own Twinkie having vanished as fast as had his.

Xander nodded, then closed his eyes again, picturing this time a card table, with a bag of McDonnald's burgers and fries, along with several sodas, as well as a pair of military canteens of cold, clear water on it. He felt the surge of energy, and by the time he opened his eyes he could already smell the odor of fresh french fries filling the room.

Reaper stepped back at the sudden appearance of the table, but then the odor of the food caught at his nose and he locked his eyes on the guy, or perhaps god, called 'Xander' as he asked, "Is this for us?"

Xander nodded, "Yep. I realized you both might be kinda hungry, and heh, helping when you can is good, no?"

Alice eyed the table, and as Reaper pulled a fist full of fries from the bag, followed by a burger she moved in to claim some food as well before it was all gone.

"So, who are you two, and what do you mean die from the demon shit?" Xander asked.

A noise from outside distracted him though, and before either Alice or Reaper could answer, Xander had ducked out the door. Alice looked after him, then over to his wife, Cat.

Cat looked at the door, smiled, and turned back to the two who had paused in their scarffing of the food at abrupt Xander's departure. "Just another demon. He'll be right back." She said with a grin.

There was a brief sound of a scuffle from outside, then Xander came back in, sliding his sword back into the sheath he wore over his shoulder. "Sorry about that. Apparently someone else was hungry."

Reaper swallowed his second burger, washing it down with what tasted like a Mountain Dew, and then looked back at his unusual host. "Name's John Grimm. I'm a Marine. I was called in as a part of the Joint Taskforce."

Xander nodded, "Heard about you guys. Apparently the President's given up on stopping these things with conventional forces though. He was considering going nuclear if they hadn't gotten a hold of us from what I understand."

Alice looked at the pair of newcomers before answering herself, "My name's Alice, I think. I also think I used to work here, but I don't really remember anything from before waking up in a lab here strapped to a table, surrounded by monsters. Are you really a god, as in burning bushes and stuff?"

Xander shrugged, "I once burnt a book when I tried to read it out loud, but I've never burnt a bush before. As for being a god, from what I've learned that's more a case of personal definition. I'm just Xander. But I do have some extra advantages. Like I don't really die, or if I do it doesn't stick."

Suddenly Reaper blinked, "Xander Harris? As in the Immoral Vampire from Sunnyvale California?"

Xander shook his head, "Um, not really. But yeah. Sort of. I'm from Sunnydale. I'm friends with a slayer named Buffy Summers and a girl named Willow Rosenberg who's been my best friend since kindergarten, and well, apparently the Immortal Vampire thing was just a phase or something, but I'm not the guy from that TV show, I'm from an alternate reality, and it's really hard to explain and not sound totally crazy."

Reaper looked over at Alice, who'd stopped eating. "TV show?" she asked.

Reaper nodded, "I've watched it a few times, it's not bad." Looking over at Xander he added, "You do kinda look like the guy but you're a lot skinnier."

Xander shrugged. "Like I said, he's not me, but we have a lot in common. Sort of. Plus, here, he's not real. Where I come from there isn't any TV show, and I am real. If that makes sense. Now, back to you, what was that about dying from the demon shit as you put it?"

Reaper gestured to the swollen and infected looking scratch on his chest, then indicated the cut on his hand, and another recent scratch on his cheek, "Damn things are contagious. Three of 'em got me, so sometime soon I'm gonna change into another one of 'em. I can almost feel it happening already. I was hoping Alice here, who is apparently immune to the fuckers, could lead me to the big badass, I figured if I could take him out on my way down, it might be worth it."

Xander nodded, "Ok. Well, that's why we're here, to take care of all of them. And you aren't changed yet." Xander looked at Reaper, and used a trick he'd seen from Cat to really examine him. "Although I can see the prions all through you already, damnit." Looking over at Alice, he examined her as well, and noted that she also had several prions in her bloodstream, but something seemed to be happening to them, they were being almost coated in something, Not really being destroyed, but whatever t was seemed to make them inert. "Cat?" he asked,

Cat came over and joined him, and he showed her what he'd seen in Alice. "Do you think we can do the same thing for John?"

A deep, powerful voice from the doorway growled out "Reaper? Don't bother with him. He's dead. And so are both of you. Thanks for bringing my future bride back though. Hello Alice."

Whirling around to face the door, everyone took note of the new arrival, and Alice recognized him at once. "Reaper?"

"Yeah?" Reaper asked, reaching for his chainsaw.

"That's the guy you wanted to see." She said, bending down and retrieving her own ax from the floor.

The creature crouched in the doorway was huge. It would be at least twelve feet tall if it was standing up to it's full height, and a good five feet wide. And it was all bone and muscle. His skin was a slimy gray colored, and seemed to be made of scales, like the skin of a lizard or a snake. The long forked tongue which darted out of his mouth past the huge fangs was also lizard or snake-like. As were the vertically slitted red eyes. To either side of his head was at least a 5 point rack of antlers, worthy of any deer, each branch ending in a wickedly sharp point. Finally there was a long, powerful tail visible on the ground behind the crouching figure peering in malignantly through the door.

Xander was surprised to feel the power literally rolling off the creature. It was like nothing he'd encountered before, almost like someone had taken every demon he'd ever encountered before and rolled them up into one really nasty package.

Cat didn't hesitate, releasing a blast of pure fire on the creature, which launched it back from the doorway screaming in pain, and setting the building on fire.

But even before it had landed, its burns had healed, and when it whipped up to it's feet, it's tail lashing out to first the left then the right, stabbing the air with the bony spear at it's tip, as it started moving back towards the burning building.

Xander reached out to Cat, and said, "Cat, honey, I think it might take Kusanagi to really put a dent into this thing. See what you can do for John and I'll take care of the Crocodile Man."

Cat nodded, and as the four of them exited the building by running through the blazing doorway, she led Alice and Reaper off to one side, while Xander literally leapt into the air, drawing Kusanagi as he arced back down towards the demon, flashing his blade out in a move intended to slice off the creature's tail.

The demon spun around however, snatching the tail out of range at the last second, and reached out with the long talons of its hands, batting Xander to the ground in a spray of blood.

The creature reached down and lifted Xander's suddenly limp body up, shaking it like a doll, and growled, "What did you think you could do against me? Did you not realize that I am a GOD! This world will kneel before me! At least that of it which doesn't simply die, like you have."

With that the demon cast Xander's body over his shoulder and turned his attention once more towards Alice, Cat, and Reaper.

The creature which had once been known as Sergeant Stemson stalked towards the blonde which had somehow thrown the fireball at him.

Most perplexing was that he couldn't read her at all. He could easily see into the miniscule minds of both his bride to be, Alice, and her pitiful mortal companion, the fool who thought he could challenge Stemson and take him down before the changes overtook him and he joined Stemson's army of demonic servants. It was almost amusing enough to let him live long enough to learn how mistaken he was about the situation.

But the blonde and her companion, the pitiful man he had already disposed of, they had both been blanks to his mind. And that was something new in his experience.

Not that it had helped the fool when he tried to challenge Stemson.

A quick search of both his Alice's mind, and that of the fool calling himself Reaper showed him that both of them believed that these two were gods of some sort. It almost made him laugh. Apparently they had teleported onsite, then managed to materialize some water, and later food. Parlor tricks! How easily fooled mortals could be. It just went to show how small their minds really were. As though any being with the actual power of a god would concern itself with the affairs of mortals.

Alice was special, she was no longer a mere mortal, the meddling of the scientists who had used her as an experimental subject when she was first exposed to his power had made sure of that, and it had also made her somewhat immune to his power. Enough so that she would never change from the form she now held, no matter how much time or exposure to himself she experienced. And once he had learned that, he himself had wiped the remnants of her primitive mind from her, leaving a blank personality for him to mold as he so desired. That she had awoken early and sough to challenge his power had merely amused him, and he had indulged her in her attempt to thwart him and escape his presence. After all, where could she run, in the long run everyone would realize that this entire world was his to command as he chose. His influence and power grew with every mortal he brought under his control. Already he was nigh-on indestructible, able to shift his location at will wherever he chose to be, and able to mold the minds of those around as though they were made of clay.

The blonde looked up from where she was kneeling over the prone forms of both his Alice and Reaper, as she made a vain attempt to somehow shield Reaper from his fate as one of Stemson's future minions. "I killed that pesky husband of yours, 'goddess'. Now it's your turn. Kneel before me and I may spare your existence for a bit however."

Before the woman could reply however, he felt a flash of pain whip through his neck! This could not be! NOTHING could hurt him.

Whirling he found the pesky mortal had somehow revived and healed from his wounds, even his clothing somehow being restored. And the fool once more challenged him with his silly sword.

Stemson lashed out with the stinger in his tail, stabbing the man in the stomach and injecting him with enough poison to kill an army. The man cried out and fell to the ground, his eyes literally melting and flowing down his face as the venom in Stimson's sting literally liquefied the tissues of his body.

Turning back to the woman, who had the audacity to IGONORE HIM he bellowed his rage at her impudence. Did she not understand the proper relationship of such a one as herself to one as great as he?

But before he had taken another step, his backside erupted in pain as something sliced his very tail from his spine.

Whirling, Stemson once more saw the man who dared challenge him. He stood over the twitching tail, and then he raised a hand and a shimmer of heat flowed from it and into the tail. Stemson felt a flood of pain, despite the detached state of his tail as it was somehow consumed by a blast of flame.

Xander was getting tired of this. This was the third time he'd had to attack the creature, and still it was standing. He'd grown used to things dying when he killed them. But somehow the demon hadn't even noticed when he'd tried to cut it's head off, the slice healing as fast as he cut, so that by the time he'd finished what should have been a decapitating blow, did nothing more than annoy the demon.

When he was stabbed for his troubles he shifted his target, if he couldn't cut the creature's head off, he could whittle it down and eliminate it piece by piece if that was what it took.

Recreating himself once more, he moved forward and attacked the closest part - the creature's tail.

By slicing with the blade at an angle and forcing the pieces apart he removed the demon's tail before it even noticed he was moving again.

And as the dismembered part writhed on the ground before him, Xander focused his power on it, using yet another technique he'd learned from his wife's mind, and incinerated it with just a touch of the power of the sun.

The demon screamed and charged at Xander, reaching out with its talloned hands.

And with another deft slice of Kusanagi's blade, the closer of the two hands fell away from its wrist. A few instants later there were two writing hands laying on the sand before him and the demon was backing away for a moment.

Xander paused again, once more focusing the power of the sun onto the hands, and the sand melted beneath them as they were converted to superheated gasses.

Xander looked up and saw that the demon was regenerating its hands, but before it had finished, Kusanagi lashed out again, and the right arm, just below the shoulder was falling away, even as Xander twisted clear around to snick the left arm off just above the elbow.

The demon screamed again as it lowered its head and charged at Xander, attempting to impale him on its antlers.

Xander however leaped into the air as the demon approached. And from his higher vantage point sliced through the left side of the creature's head, removing both the ear and the antler on that side.

As yellow blood oozed out from the greenish brain thus exposed, Xander bounced off the ground behind the demon, and even as it straightened up and bellowed in anger and pain, hacked at the other side of its head as well.

This time he missed the ear, but the top and side of the skull slid off, bouncing against the injured shoulder and landed on the ground, with the disc of sliced bone and adhering greenish brain sticking up as the antler lodged like a dead bush into the sand.

Xander stepped back and examined his foe once more. But just as he was about to launch another attack, a new monster charged across the sand, distracting him. It took Xander almost thirty seconds to dispatch the second lizard like demon, finding that his newest opponent had no real resistance to decapitation.

Looking back at his main target, Xander noted that it had regrown the elbow of its left arm, and already had a tiny hand and wrist extending from it's previously damaged appendage, while on his right there was just a large lumpy nub. The holes in the scalp had also closed, the greenish brain no longer visible, but there was not yet any sign of any new antlers.

Xander targeted the left arm, this time severing it at the shoulder as he'd done with the right. As he bounced off the ground, his impact sending up a spray of sand and gravel as he reversed direction, he targeted the legs this time.

The demon howled in frustrated anger as Kusanagi sliced across his upper thighs, and he fell to the ground, a quadriplegic amputee.

The demon shuddered on the ground, it's right arm splitting open to reveal a small replacement hand, as Xander strode over to stand above it.

Kusanagi flashed again, and the newly revealed limb flew off to the side. Another slice literally took the demon's face off, once more revealing the greenish brain matter, and releasing yet another outpouring of the yellowish blood.

Two more swipes and the head was literally in pieces on the sand, and Xander once more focused on bringing the power of the sun to bear on the writhing torso and severed cranial pieces.

Xander felt it as the pieces of the demon slowly burned, even as the sand beneath them melted into glowing pools of white hot glass.

And finally it was done. Xander could no longer feel any trace of the malignant presence he had been fighting.

Looking up, his eyes met Cat's, and she offered a smile as she bent down to help Alice to her feet.

Xander walked over to his wife, and noted that John was also rising. "Well?" he asked, "Did you fix him?"

Cat nodded. "I think so. At least, his wounds seem to be closing themselves, and his body seems to be isolating the prions, the same as hers does. I couldn't have done it without Alice as a template though, whatever they did to her seems to have made her immune to the prions, among other things."

Xander looked over at Alice and asked, "Other things?"

Cat nodded and replied, "I'm not sure, but I think she's Immortal, and if so, then now John is as well."

Xander looked between the two and asked, "Immortal as in 'There can be only one' head chopping, or as in really hard if not impossible to kill?"

Cat shrugged, "I don't think chopping off their heads would be much more permanent damage to them than I think it'd cause Zeke. It'd slow them down for sure, but eventually they'd get better. So no, they are not like Raden's children in that one dimension we visited."

Xander nodded at this, then turned to look out at the shambling shapes visable in the early morning sunlight across the desert in almost every direction.

"Ok, so we took out the main bad ass, we saved John from meeting an ugly end, now how do we dispose of the rest of the demon army?" Xander asked.

Cat smiled at her husband and replied, "Allow me."

She closed her eyes, and reached out with her mind, marking the locations of all those tainted with the demonic prions. Their minds had been somewhat freed by the destruction of their master, but the taint remained to color their actions, and she was able to spot them and mark them by that.

She noted that they were spread out around her in an almost perfect ring, most of them moving away as fast as they could now that the controlling mind which had been holding them in place had been eliminated.

Not feeling any untainted minds within that circle, other than those immediately with her, Cat began to call upon her full strength as a sun goddess, channeling the same energy Xander had used to finally dispose of Stemson, only on a vastly greater scale. She marked the outer edge of the demon's perimeter, a vast circle at which she stood at almost the exact center, and then she marked an inner edge, well away from herself, Xander, and the two fighters. And then she filled the area between with the power of the sun.

People as far away as Baker California saw the momentary flash reflected off the sky as Cat unleashed her full power for the briefest instant.

Satellites pointed at the earth were blinded by the strength and power of that blast of light. Several sophisticated spy satellites which had been monitoring events in the area were ruined for good, delicate optics scorched and electronics fried by that brief overload of light and heat.

And the sand for almost 30 miles in every direction around Cat's location was melted in that instant into a giant doughnut shaped piece of perfectly smooth glass.

Of the demons and the infecting prions, the only remaining traces were the faintest of impurities in the consistency of the glass surface.

As the light faded Cat looked around, taking in the shimmering heat of the cooling glass desert and simply said, "Oops!"

The guard on duty at the front of the Cheyenne Mountain facility looked up as a strange sound came from the road just outside the gate.

His heart was racing, having been informed by phone a few moments ago that what looked like a possible nuclear detonation had just occurred at Nellis in Nevada. While no more information was available at the moment, it was still more than enough to set his nerves on edge.

Looking out the window, he observed a strange disc of colored light glittering in the road just before the gate. 

The guard clutched his weapon and glanced at the phone, even as four individuals emerged from the middle of the disc. There were two men and two women, both men brunettes, both women blondes. But there the similarities ended.

Two of them looked like perfectly normal civilians, people you might see in any mall of any town in any city he'd ever been in.

The other two however, both of whom appeared to be at least a few years older then their civilian companions, looked like they'd just been through hell. Literally.

The man was in the remnants of what had started as issue Marine combat fatigues. They were covered with blood and oddly colored splotches, and his clothes were torn in several areas, as though he had been on the wrong end of several fights.

The older blonde woman, apparently originally dressed in some sort of civilian security uniform, showed similar signs of abuse, the residue of blood and other unknown fluids covering her from almost head to toe, only her hands and face appearing clean.

Tightening his grip on his weapon he called out. "Halt right there, The base is under Condition Red and is closed at this time. Please depart."

The younger two glanced at one another then with a shrug came to a stop, the elder pair following their lead.

The younger man spoke up at this point, "Can you call General Hammond and ask him if he wants to come out, or he wants us to go in?"

"The mountain is closed, sir. No one is able to go in or out, not even a General. Please back away from the gate and go on your way." He ordered.

"Um, well see, we really need to see the General. And I'm pretty sure he'll want to see us too. Can you call him?" the younger man tried again.

The apparent Marine, standing behind him spoke up for the first time, "You really should get a hold of the Officer of the Day, especially if your Condition Red has anything to do with what just happened in Nevada."

"The Mountain is closed, sir. As I said, even if he wanted to not even a General could get in or out until the President orders us to secure from Condition Red." he reminded them.

"Look, we've been through al this before. Just call General Hammond and let him know we're here. If he can't come out, we'll just go in and see him on our own." The younger man said.

The guard felt a fresh surge of apprehension at the apparent threat, and warned, "Do not challenge the gate, sir. The base is sealed, and I'm authorized to use deadly force if necessary."

The young man shrugged, "From what you've said, not just the gate is closed, probably the main doors to the mountain are buttoned up as well. Doesn't matter. We'll just go straight to sublevel 14 if we have to. It's just that we promised not to open up any more portals in the General's mountain. But this is kind of important."

"Sir, even if you managed to breach the gate, the entry to the mountain is designed to withstand a direct blast from a nuclear weapon. You would not be able to force your way into the mountain. Now please depart."

The elder woman started laughing to herself at something. Finally she locked eyes on the guard and nodded to the younger blonde. "Nuclear weapon. This girl here just blew up Nevada. Then she brought us here. I don't think anything here could stop her if she got mad enough. You really should call someone."

The guard looked over the group again. "As I said before, the base is closed, and no one is getting through this gate. Please depart."

The younger man just shook his head. "Look, what if I don't go through the gate? I just want to talk to General Hammond."

"As I said before, even if we had a General Hammond inside the mountain, until the President orders us secured from the Code Red he wouldn't be able to get in or out." The guard tried to explain the situation yet again.

The young blonde spoke for the first time, "Just call someone. If they don't want to talk to us, then we'll take these two wherever they want to go and head off ourselves. But General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill asked us to deal with the problem in Nevada, and now that we have we wanted to check in with him. But if he's too busy then we'll go. Just call him, ok?"

The guard shook his head, knowing he was wasting his time but with the second reference to Nevada, as well as the names of not one, but two people who the general public shouldn't be aware even existed being named, he went ahead and placed a call back to the Officer of The Day, who he knew would be drowning in the issues related to securing the base against imminent attack.

General Hammond was not having a good day.

He'd summoned Cat and Xander, despite his misgivings on dealing with those two, and sent them to help with the situation in Nevada. And less then a half an hour later, someone set off the biggest nuclear detonation ever recorded. Although now reports seemed to indicate that whatever the hell it was, it wasn't nuclear as there was no recorded radiation, other than the light and brief thermal shock, from the detonation. But an almost sixty mile section of desert, stretching from Yucca Flats in the Nevada Nuclear Test Site to where Highway 357 ran through Tikaboo valley, and almost centered on Groom Lake had been reduced to a crater of smoking glass.

Of course as soon as the explosion had been detected the mountain had secured to Condition Red, closing the blast doors and sealing the base.

He'd just gotten off the phone with the president, assuring his Commander in Chief that they had not deployed any weaponry, terrestrial or not, against the outbreak in Nevada.

He reminded the President that Cat and Xander had been onsite and speculated that perhaps they had done something.

But regardless of who had done what, the results were likely to be catastrophic. Even if there was no radiation involved, the blast itself had to have blinded several hundreds, if not thousands of people in the area trying to hold the line against the demonic creatures which had finally made it to the highway from what reports he'd received before the blast.

And how many servicemen and women, including his own Samantha Carter had been caught inside the radius of that detonation? He didn't know.

Communications with the effected area were wiped out, random radio chatter flooding the airways and all landlines in the vicinity had been destroyed.

He had one unconfirmed report that several soldiers standing at the edge of the blast were unaffected, other than temporary blindness from the intensity of the flash, but those had to be mistaken, as no one could stand at the edge of such an explosion and remain unscathed. Most likely the soldiers in question had been shielded by an outcropping of rock or something and their reported survival was simply an aberration.

On the other hand, if the blast was indeed the result of something either Cat or Xander did, then anything was technically possible.

One of the Majors coordinating communications with the folks from NORAD upstairs came rushing over, holding a note in his hand, "General, there's a guard from the front gate on the line with the OOD for NORAD, claiming that there's a party there trying to gain admittance to see you, and they are rather insistent. What's more, apparently they are claiming to be involved in whatever happened in Nevada."

General Hammond blinked. Then he closed his eyes again, even slower. He counted to three, then opened them again and took a deep breath. "Did you say there are people at the gate demanding to talk to me and claiming to have caused the blast in Nevada?"

The Major nodded with an unsure expression on his face, "Yes Sir. What should I tell them?"

General Hammond shook his head, "I'd better talk to the guard. Get him on my phone."

A few minutes later, General Hammond was talking to the guard stationed at the front gates to Cheyenne Mountain. "So the blonde is about five feet tall, if that, and the brunette is about six feet. Is he carrying a sword?"

A moment of shocked pause later the guard's voice returned, "I hadn't even noticed it before now. Yes, he is. Should I consider him dangerous?"

"Son, you should consider both of them dangerous in the extreme, but not hostile. I could be mistaken but it is entirely conceivable that those two could destroy this planet if they had a mind to do so."

"Yes Sir. One of their companions said the blonde was responsible for the detonation in Nevada, Sir."

"Companions?" General Hammond asked.

The guard paused a moment before replying, "What appears to be a Marine and a very pissed off civilian. Both appear to have experienced severe combat situations, but seem to be in surprisingly good health."

General Hammond thought back to the cause of the outbreak and the reports he'd received reguarding just how infectious the condition was, as far as he knew almost every single person exposed directly to an infected individual in combat who had survived had been infected themselves. The few exceptions were so rare that no protocol had been determined as of yet. There were even reports of individuals who came into only second or third hand contact with infected persons who had become infected.

And if there were two survivors who showed signs of combat there along with Cat and Xander, the possibility that they had been exposed was quite high.

He considered how to phrase his next orders. "Airman, listen to me very carefully. Those two individuals are to be considered potentially contagious. Under no circumstances is anyone to go near them or touch anything they have touched without the benefit of a full hazmat decontamination suit. Is that understood?"

"Yes Sir. Sir, as they are outside the gate, there is no need for concern. They have made no physical move to challenge the gate, Sir. "

"That's good to know. Now, I want you to contact security and pass my orders on to them. Also, I want you to tell Xander, that's the man with the sword to take his party to the center of the parking lot immediately before the tunnel entrance and to wait there for a team to come and secure them."

"Sir, as I said, they are outside the gate. I can not admit them even under your orders until we have secured from Condition Red, Sir."

General Hammond nodded, even thought the Airman at the gate couldn't see him. "I understand that. You don't need to admit them, just pass on my messages to both Xander and Security. Tell Security to expect them and make sure that the area is cleared and secured before you tell Xander, otherwise we may have more problems."

"Sir, I don't understand but I will follow your instructions."

"Thank you. Please have someone notify me once Xander, Cat, and their two associates are in the parking area. As soon a we can secure from Condition Red we'll have a team topside to look after them. You're doing a good job son. Keep it up."

Another aide came up, holding a message, "Sir, we have confirmation from Major Carter that there were few, if any casualties caused directly by the blast. She claims to have been only feet away from the effect herself, and only suffered from momentary blindness. She also believes that all the hostiles may have been destroyed."

General Hammond felt a huge weight lifting upon hearing that Samantha was all right. He nodded at the aide as he turned back to the console where he had a Lieutenant tasked with compiling data on the blast who was waving to get his attention.

Heading over he looked at the picture displayed on the screen. "What is this, Lieutenant?" he asked, looking at what appeared to be an unusually round rock formation.

"Sir, there seems to be an, island, sir, in the exact center of the crater. An area where there is no apparent damage at all from the blast. And Sir, the lack of radiation has been confirmed."

Hammond nodded.

The guard received confirmation that Security had the area indicated by the General cleared, and understood that no one was to approach anyone there under any circumstances, then even though the orders made no sense, he turned to the group waiting just outside the gate, "Ok. That was Security. I spoke to the General and he instructed me to tell you to wait in the parking lot just before the tunnel entrance, that they would dispatch a hazmat team to decontaminate you and your associates as soon as the base could be secured from it's Code Red. But I still can't open the gate. I told him as much but he didn't seem concerned."

The man, apparently Xander nodded, "Ok. Thanks. We'll go and wait for the General's people in the parking lot in front of the tunnel."

"Sir, as I told you before, I can not allow you to enter the base. Even with the General's orders I can't admit you."

Xander shrugged, "Not a problem. We just won't go through the gate."

"Sir, I can not let you climb over or under it either." The guard reminded.

"Not an issue." Xander shrugged.

"Sir, you can not climb over the fence if that's what you are thinking. Under Code Red it is electrified, and I would have to stop you even if it weren't. There is no way on or off the base until we have secured from the Code Red."

Xander shrugged again. "That's fine. But General Hammond asked us to wait in the parking lot. I assume he had a good reason for that, so I'm willing to accommodate him on it."

"But Sir, the parking lot is almost a mile beyond the gate. And I can not let you onto the base at this time to access it. Despite the General's orders you are going to have to wait here."

Xander shook his head and closed his eyes. Suddenly another of those shimmering disks, like the one his group had first emerged from appeared floating in the air before him. "There", he said, "That should solve everything. Ok people, let's go." He called to the others. The blonde girl stepped into the disk first, followed by the elder two, then Xander waved at the guard and ducked through the disk himself, after which with a whomf sound it collapsed in on itself and vanished.

The guard looked at the empty road before his gate and relaxed. Wherever they went, they were someone else's problem. Even if they had gotten onto the base through that disk thing somehow, which he suspected to be the case, they hadn't gone through his gate. And that was all that really mattered.

Jack followed Hammond out the tunnel as soon as the President lifted the alert. They both stood back however as Janet Frasier, clad in an full body decontamination suit preceded them towards the four people standing in the middle of the circle of guards and airmen who had encircled them to prevent anyone from coming into contact.

Xander spotted the General and moved past Janet to get to him, but she held up a hand stopping him. They exchanged some words, Xander gesturing at the other two and shaking his head, Cat adding something he also could not make out, then both of them seemed to flash, like a pair of strobes going off, after which Janet raised her hands and gestured behind herself, allowing Cat and Xander past while she and her team moved in on the two strangers.

Jack looked to his left at General Hammond as Cat and Xander walked up with happy grins on their faces. Jack knew the General was far from a happy mood, and he showed it with the first words out of his mouth, "What in the blue blazes did the two of you think you were doing? I have a sixty mile wide lake of melted GLASS where I once had a test range and several top secret laboratories and facilities. Worse, EVERYONE knows something happened. We asked for your help to try and keep things QUIET! If we'd wanted to nuke Nevada we could have done so ourselves. I just spent the last fifteen minutes getting my ass chewed out by the President of the United States because I let you two run off alone without a babysitter. Which is my fault, I should have insisted you take Jack with you or something. Now, what do you two have to say for yourselves?"

Cat blinked at the unexpected tirade, actually taking a step backwards, while Xander seemed to be getting angry at the General.

Cat was the one who answered though, softly saying, "Sorry?"

The General threw up his hands and complained, "Sorry?" Jack tried to interrupt the second tirade he saw coming, but he was too late, "I have a puddle of melted sand running from Yucka Flats to the edge of Tikaboo valley, and all you can say is Sorry?"

A female voice spoke up from behind them, where Janet was now leading the other two towards the General, having taken some samples and established a cordon around them of decontamination suited assistants. "Actually, I think her words were 'Oops'."

The General looked up at the woman who spoke and asked, "And whom, exactly might you be?"

"Alice, I think." She replied.

Xander broke in, his anger obvious in his voice, "They are the only two survivors of the fuckup YOUR people caused by releasing those prions AFTER the doctor here discovered them and became concerned. If you folks hadn't taken my blood then turned around and lost it in the first place, none of this crap would have happened, and we wouldn't have had to clean up your mess. And then get yelled at it for trying to help. Christ, you're worse than my parents! Anyhow, her name is Alice, and that's all she remembers, some of the wonderful people you used to employ in one of those nice labs you were complaining about used her as a guinea pig in some experiment I think to combat the prions. At least that's what it looks like to me. The quite guy over there is John Reaper, one of your soldiers who was on his way to try and fight the main demon who was in charge of the whole menagerie there. Cat saved him by using Alice as a template so his body would also resist the prions and reverse the damage they were causing."

Hammond opened his mouth but Xander cut him off again, "And as far as complaining about the melted sand, ask your doctor there about exactly how one goes about decontaminating an area infested with residual prions so as to insure no future infections occur. Yes, we overdid it. Sorry, but would you rather we did a half assed job and you had to deal with another wave of demons in a couple of years because someone ate an infected lizard or something? Because that's how tenacious the things can be. Cat, I think we're done here."

Hammond once more opened his mouth, but Cat wasn't looking at him, she was looking at Xander. And she nodded, then turned back to General Hammond, "Call on me if the Goa'uld attack, since I promised to help with that. But I have to agree I don't like your attitude much more than my husband. I'm sorry I melted your desert. I was very careful not to include anyone who hadn't been irreversibly infected when I set the boundaries of the effect though, so I can assure you there were no casualties. And I didn't 'nuke' the place, so there is no radiation to be worried about. I had intended to simply incinerate everything, leaving inert ashes behind, but I misjudged the amount of energy, and for that I apologize again. And you can tell your president whatever you want to, but tell him not to call me again unless it's about the Goa'uld."

She then reached out and took Xander's hand, and the two of them simply vanished.

Faith was cruising Shady Rest Cemetery when she felt the biggest spike on her Slayer Senses in her life.

Not even that bastard Kakistos had showed up so strongly on her threat meter. And the source was just past the mausoleums. Taking a deep breath she took off after it, running as silently as she could.

Coming around the corner she could make out a pair of what looked like humans. A really short blonde chick, and a tall, skinny brunette guy. The chick was talking to the brunette. "...really think this is the right one? I mean we didn't use a portal or anything, so how can you be sure?"

"Well, I realized it was just like Dorothy in Wizard of Oz, you know, just close your eyes and click your heels together three times, and say over and over, 'There's no place like home'. And if that's the truth, then who needs a portal? So I just focused on home in every aspect. And here we are!"

The blonde looked around, her eyes passing over where Faith was hiding. "A graveyard?"

The guy shrugged, "It's kinda classic Sunnydale. Only two things really could represent the place, one of the many cemeteries, or the hellmouth under the library. And since I wasn't feeling like going to School." He trailed off, as though sensing something and Faith watched as he slowly drew a wicked sword which seemed to ping on her radar just as much as he and or the blonde did. It was freaky how she couldn't narrow down the eekieness between the two, this close she should have been able to tell which was the Big Bad. But all she got was a powerful sense of danger from both of them. Then the guy turned and looked right towards her, and she saw his face in the light. A face she'd seen many times in her dreams but never before in reality. It was a face she'd seen since the first night she'd been called as a Slayer. It was the face of an enemy. Someone who he knew deep down in her core was a threat to the entire world. And the feeling of danger she got from him now made sense. Perhaps he was trying to cloud her senses, and that was why she kept feeling like she couldn't discriminate between the two. It really didn't matter. All that mattered was that he had to die. Now, before he could do something to hurt B or Jeeves., or Red, or the rest of the gang. Because she also knew somehow that he was a threat to them. She remembered dreaming about how he had killed her predecessor Kendra, leaving her to become snack food for a vampire in this very same graveyard over a year ago. She had heard that it took the enigmatic 'Missing Scoobie', some guy named 'Xander' to sacrifice himself and go to hell in order to stop the demon Kendra had become.

Faith pulled her stake and launched herself at the form even as he whirled on her with his sword. And she knew she was dead, because she saw the path of that blade. But she also saw her own path, and the placement of her stake was perfect.

She never felt the blade as it whipped through her somehow, all her concentration was focused on the tip of the stake as it drive through his chest, straight into the bastard's heart.

She wondered why she wasn't dead yet, as he fell down beneath her, grunting as he died from her blow.

Then she was flying through the air again, tossed off the man's body by the blonde, and now the feeling of danger was all from her. And it was bigger than it had been before.

Faith looked up at the glowing green eyes on the short girl, shorter even than Buffy she thought in an aside, as the woman stalked towards her, her anger and hatred literally washing off her like heat off asphalt in the middle of the summer.

But just before the woman reached her, a voice spoke. The voice of the monster she'd just killed, "Cat, no!"

The woman, perhaps named Cat whirled away from Faith, looking towards the source of the voice. Faith rolled over and shifted her weight, preparing to spring on the woman who'd foolishly looked away from her.

"Cat, she's a Slayer, like Buffy. She doesn't know who I am. And I'm fine." The voice came again.

"She killed you!" the blonde complained.

"Look, all better. And she's innocent - Kusanagi wouldn't strike her."

Faith felt a strange tingle run though her at the mention of that name. It was familiar somehow, something to do with a magic sword. She'd heard Jeeves talking about it with Red and B. And they were talking about...

"Well what should we do with her then, Xander? Tie her up and take her to your friends?"

Xander! The Missing Scooby. Who was supposed to have gotten the Magic Sword in Hell, where he met some sexbomb named, CAT! Faith wasn't sure what was going on, but she decided to chill for a moment to make sure she wasn't drawing down on a good guy by mistake somehow.

The guy who might be called Xander, who had his sword in his hand, the one which should by all reason have cut her in half was now standing behind the girl Cat, and the hideous Hawaiian shirt he was wearing was literally glowing in the dark, the light of the sunset depicted on it seeming to cast shadows in the gloom of the graveyard. And he had no holes, or even blood on or in either himself or that shirt.

"Uh, hello?" he asked with what sounded like a friendly voice.

A part of her wanted her to attack again. Not to talk to him at all. But another part was worried she'd just fucked up big time.

"Yeah?" she asked.

He smiled at her, while the blonde frowned at both of them, "Hi. My name's Xander. I take it your Kendra's replacement?"

"Faith. You know about Slayers?" she asked.

He nodded. "I've known Buffy for what seems to me like forever. Um, I suppose you attacked me because the Powers told you to or something, right?"

Faith frowned at him, "What powers? You mean that eeky feeling I'm getting off you?"

Xander frowned, then he grinned, and looked over at Cat. "Cat honey, this time I've got a new trick for you."

Cat looked confused for a moment, then she smiled as well and even as she did so the feeling of danger and power vanished like someone shutting off a light.

"Woah." Faith said, looking back and forth between the two. "What was that?"

Xander grinned and asked, "You know Buffy, I hope?"

Faith nodded and replied, "Yeah, and if you are the missing Xander, I know a bit about you. Like I know you picked up that wicked sword of yours in hell, along with some babe ya married. This Cat chick here. They were really impressed by her, which was odd, 'cause I didn't think B swung that way, though Red might."

"Might what?" Xander asked.

Faith looked over at Cat as though considering something, then she shrugged. "I wasn't really listenin, but I think B was sayin' Cat was some sorta sex goddess."

Cat snickered, then broke out in full on laughter, her previous anger at the brunette slayer forgotten.

Xander looked at her in confusion then shrugged, turning back to the now slightly scowling slayer and explaining, "Half right, I suppose. She's a goddess, Egyptian pantheon."

Faith blinked as Cat managed to get control of her laughter long enough to say, "The sex goddess is my Mom. She's like the patron goddess of Spring Break."

Xander turned and looked at his wife at this, even as Faith's scowl turned to a smirk.

"Goddess of spring break?" he asked.

"Well, it goes back to her original worshipers. Every year for her festival they would charter barges and take them up the Nile to her temple. Everyone would drink and party on the barges as they made their way, and as they passed people the women would often, flash the men and make fun of the women along the way. All the most attractive women would be allowed to join the party barges. Once they got to the temple, they would really start the party. They would drink more in that week then the entire rest of the year. They would have orgies. They would have fun. And it was the way to worship my Mom. She and Bacchus are the best known deities for parties, you know. A real party isn't a party unless they both deign to come."

Xander took this in and nodded, "Ok. That kinda makes sense. I take it you were never one of the orgy participants though?"

Cat shrugged, "Between my Mom's other reputation for protecting me, and my big brother's well known reputation for defending my honor, no one would have touched me even if I had attended. But I didn't they really weren't my thing."

Xander grinned and hugged her, then gave her a kiss. "Well, I'm glad I was your thing. And I hope I remain your thing for a long time to come, if not for ever."

Cat smiled and kissed him back, and said, "My one and only. My other half. Apparently literally."

Faith picked up on this and so she asked, "Uh, guys? Earlier before you shut it down, I was having a hard time tracking which of you I was getting that feeling was coming from. Any idea why?"

Xander shrugged and replied, "'Cause metaphysically or something we're the same being. Or so the Creator said. He said Cat's a part of me, and I'm a part of her. That in reality we're just one being."

Faith took a step back, her guard coming up because that didn't jibe with what she'd heard before. "Uh, I thought your deal was being like a male slayer or somethin'. Some sort of Champion for Jesus or someone."

"Janus. One of the Elder Gods, the Roman god of portals and new beginnings. Yeah, I'm still technically his champion, although the creator expects the Powers to really bitch about that. But he didn't say I couldn't be, and I still feel the connection, so I know I'm still his Chosen Champion."

"Then how can you be a part of Cat?" Faith asked.

Xander shrugged, "I'm not sure if I'm a part of her, or she's a part of me, really. We're distinct people, but we're the same deity somehow. But we're not just aspects of ourselves, I don't think. It's really weird. See, I started out as a normal human, just like anyone else. Then I got possessed by a Primal Hyena spirit. Willow and Giles exorcized the spirit, but apparently some of it was left behind. Then the Halloween spell came, and I got changed into my costume, which was an Immortal from Highlander. Then that Immortal got attacked, sort of, by another kid, who was changed into the vampire LaCroix from the TV show Forever Knight. At the same time, the remnants of the Hyena got mixed in somehow. The result was that the Halloween version of me became a hybrid with all the powers and strengths of both the Immortal, the Primal Spirit, and the fictional Vampire. Then, when the spell ended, Janus chose me as his champion and made all those changes real, as opposed to just temporary."

Faith looked at where her stake lay discarded on the ground, then back at the man before her, "So you saying you're a vamp?"

Xander shook his head, "No. Not really. But what I am, or rather, what I was, which is still a part of what I am, was drawn from the traits of the vamps on that show. I could fly. I was really fast. I could do basic mind control, and if I drank someone's blood like a vamp, I could literally consume their memories and skills. Turns out also their power and possibly their essence as well, but I didn't know that then. But I was and am still alive. Because I also had the Immortal part. I wasn't allergic to garlic, the sun, crosses, holy water, and I still ate and drank normally, just like everyone else."

"So not a vampire." Faith said, relaxing some.

Xander shook his head. "Not precisely. Remember I said if I drank someone's blood I could consume their memories and skills and such? Well, after I got stuck in hell I started, well, snacking on the various demons. Not that I wanted to, but there literally wasn't much else there to eat, it being hell and all. It was either the all you can stomach demon buffet, or chowing down on hapless souls, or starving and becoming a meal for someone else. After the tenth time or so of eating when being eaten, literally dying of hunger only to revive and find some monster trying to eat me and finding myself instead compelled to drain them dry, often to the point that they either dissolved into slime or poofed into dust, I started hunting, figuring if I was going to have to eat demons at least I could chose the demons I ate instead of letting them choose me. So, yeah, for a long time there I was acting all vampire like, but more like a vampire which ate demons, not innocents. Not that there are a lot of innocents in hell, but you'd be surprised."

"So you're like a demon against demons or something?" Faith asked, sort of following what he said, but finding the concept of eating demons rather disgusting.

"No. But that is a part of me. When I met Cat, I Named her, as in I am the one who first spoke her True Name, the title by which demons and gods can be manipulated, summoned, or controlled. See, there was this prophecy."

Faith shook her head, "I hate those."

"Me too." Xander agreed, "Well this one said someone would speak Cat's Name, then take her from her father and consume her and hold her forever. Sort of. You know these things are all about interpretation. Well when I Named her she became bound to me, and I to her. And when a bit later we actually got married, and then consummated the marriage, well, you know how the vows say the two become one, for us apparently it was literal on a metaphysical level somewhere. So Cat's power is my power, and my power is Cat's, and together we have like way more power than either of us did separately. But it's really one pool of power, sort of, wielded by one being, who is us. If that makes any sense."

Faith thought about it then nodded. "So like you are you, and Cat is Cat, but you're both the same being. I kill you, I have to kill Cat, otherwise it doesn't stick."

Xander shrugged, "Might be harder than that even. Remember, I have that whole psuedo Immortal thing going, so now so does Cat. But before that she was a Goddess, and deities are by nature not impossible to kill, but really hard. So now so am I. I suppose if you used Kusanagi here," he said, indicating the sword on his back, "which can kill a god, and killed us both, it MIGHT work. But I cut the head off of Lucifer himself and all it did was make smart ass remarks at us until we put it in a box."

Faith grinned at that, "You really did that? I thought B and Red were funnin' me over that."

Xander shrugged, "Yeah, we got a Lucifer Head in a box. Remind me to show it to you sometime."

Faith grinned and said, "You got a deal. So, now that you're back, what are your plans?"

Xander shrugged, "Look up the old gang, see how things are going, then make plans. Those are my plans. You know where everyone is just now?"

Faith grinned, "Should be with Jeeves at the Library. Come on, I'll take ya."

Xander smiled, "I do know where it is, you know."

Faith grinned. "Yeah, but I want to see everyone's faces when I tell 'em I captured this new big bad and then drag you in like a prisoner or something. By the way, I'm sorry I attacked you."

Xander shook his head, "Not your fault. Blame the assholes who think they own you, the so called Powers That Be, knowing them they've been sending you dreams about killing me since the day you were chosen. I understand that's why Kendra attacked me, and since I had no clue what was going on, I just fought her off and ran home. Never realized she was a Slayer or anything. Not until later when I learned she'd come to Sunnydale to stop me specifically. After getting dreams about me killing Buffy."

"Well, let's go. I wanna see their faces when I march you in." Faith said, starting to walk towards the exit closest to the school.

Xander shrugged, "Ok, but no tying me up. Only Cat gets to do that."

And with that Xander Harris and his wife Cat followed Faith towards the library and the joyful reunion with the rest of the Scoobies.

And as for what happened after that, well, that's another story.

The End. 


	26. Knight Gallery 1 – Family Portrait

**_Forever White Knight Arc 3, Knight Gallery_**

**Chapter One, Family Portrait.**

The hallway is dark and vanishes in the infinite distance both before and behind. There is a sense of stillness which permeates everything. Not a sound can be heard from beyond the innumerable doors which line both sides.

The silence and gloom is suddenly shattered however, by the sound of a click, as the latch opens and one of the doors swings open, revealing a new room, this one even darker, making the infinite hallway seem almost cheery by comparison.

Through the open door, shadowed in darkness a figure can barely be made out. It is male, of indeterminate age, and bears a striking resemblance to a familiar face from the old black and white days - Rod Serling. The figure looks up, and steps forward into a relative pool of light, and it is indeed Rod Serling. "Welcome," he says, gesturing towards the darkness beyond his open door, "to the Night Gallery."

Shadowed portraits can be seen mostly by their unlighted outlines here and there suspended in the air amidst the darkness.

Rod gestures at one of them, and slowly it's light up, revealing what looks like a family portrait, showing four people, apparently oldest to youngest, left to right, and back to front. The young brunette woman in the front, right of the image had a speculative look upon her face, an expression showing neither contentment, nor discontent in her almost black eyes. Behind her was a shorter Blonde, her own eyes almost a glowing green color, reminiscent of a cat's. Behind her was a young brunette man, a determined look upon his face. And peering over his shoulder, an older man, his open mouth disconcertingly displaying a set of vampiric fangs, and his lambent yellow eyes seemingly somehow reptilian in appearance.

**NOTE:** To see actual picture, go to:  
to present this evenings first offering, a picture simply titled, 'Family portrait'. It may not look it, but it is indeed that of a Mother and a Father, their adopted Daughter, and her Grandfather. One may consider that a family with High School Seniors as the parents, a freshman for the daughter, to be somewhat unusual. But the truth behind this family is stranger still, as the Mother of this little clan is truly the eldest, by far, and yet while only a bit more than twice the age of their adoptive daughter, her husband matches her in experience. The daughter is a mystically empowered warrior known as a Vampire Slayer, while her adoptive grandfather is a truly ancient Vampire himself. Confusing? Perhaps. Let us look then into the history behind this painting. Let us look into the past, and see how they came together, to form this, rather unusual, Family Portrait."

Darkness lays across the small Californian town of Sunnydale. And in the shadows of the darkness, demons and vampires move. But as the trio approaches all falls to stillness, for the forces of evil know to fear the ones who walk calmly through this night, even if just one or two of the faces are familiar to those who peer at them as they pass.

The oldest looking of the three, a young man of perhaps twenty years of age, but more likely eighteen, is looking around as though lost in memories. And those few who remember him know who it is they most fear. For others, their more recent acquaintance of the young, hot looking brunette draws their caution and fear. None know enough yet to fear the smallest of the three, the young blonde of indeterminate age who trails the other two, watching them as they move along the familiar streets.

"So Faith," Cat asked, "How old are you?"

Cat had been following Faith and Xander through the darkened streets of Sunnydale since leaving the graveyard, and while she could feel that her husband was thoroughly distracted by the flood of long forgotten childhood memories being evoked by the nighttime sights around them, Cat was finding herself evermore intrigued by the child before her.

She'd never met a Slayer before her brief encounter with Buffy at her wedding a few days before. But this girl, Faith was as different from Buffy as was night from day.

Buffy had seemed to be a happy cheerful person from a solid loving family. She felt a flash memory of Joyce, Buffy's mother pass through her head, buffered by a distant flood of Xander's fond memories of the woman he thought of as more of a mother than the woman who had birthed him. But Faith, as seen through Cat's new sensitivity to the thoughts and emotions of those around her, while trying to appear hard as nails was so torn up on the inside it almost made Cat want to cry.

The brunette Slayer stumbled a moment as the out of the blue question from the diminutive blonde struck her literally off balance. "Huh?"

"Old. How old are you?" Cat asked again, smiling at the girl.

Faith shrugged, "Old enough."

Cat nodded. "I suppose. You've been a slayer for what, almost a year now?"

Faith nodded, "Yeah, I was back in Boston, before my watcher went to an, er, retreat, and sent me here to hang with B and Jeeves."

Cat stopped walking and looked at Faith sternly. "Faith, there's something you should know about Xander and I."

Faith stopped as well, Xander slowing to a halt a few moments later and looking in his mind, then in Cat's for the memories of the conversation he'd apparently been so lost in his own recollections that he'd missed so far.

"What's that?" Faith asked.

"Never try to lie to either one of us. You can't." Cat said.

Faith quirked an eyebrow, "What, like if I try I'll turn to salt or something?"

"No, but we'll know. It's hard to explain, but just now, you told the truth about having been in Boston. But you lied about your Watcher. But not about her sending you here."

Faith frowned, "How'd you know my Watcher was a she?"

Cat shrugged. "It's a Goddess thing, I suppose you could say. Though for me it's kind of a new twist. I see the color of your, not thoughts - those are deeper and require an effort to touch, it's more like your mind. The color of it simply told me you were lying, and that your Watcher was a mother figure to you. And just now it seems to indicate that she's gone, and you miss her."

Faith was pissed. Or at least that's how she tried to look. In reality she was scared and hurt. "What the fuck is it to you? And who gave you permission to look inside my fucking head in the first place?"

Cat raised a hand and shook her head, "I didn't. That's what I'm trying to tell you. It's not something either I or Xander do consciously, it's just the way we are. When I look at you, I see all of you, not just the color of your hair, eyes, skin, and clothes, but the color of your mind and soul. And those change as you talk, or even think. If you know what you are seeing, you can easily tell how someone feels about something or if they are lying or not. When someone looks at a person's aura, they see some of the same thing, although depending on how you look a person's aura can tell you a whole lot more, or less. But what I want you to understand is that lying to us isn't just a bad idea, its futile. Because we'll not only know you are lying, but probably be able to guess why. Now, what happened to your watcher?"

Faith's face flushed red, whether from anger or embarrassment, Xander wasn't sure. Finally, after gaining a hold of her emotions she managed to get out, "I let her get killed." Faith's voice was barely a whisper as she said it, but in the stillness of the nighttime Sunnydale street, she may as well have shouted.

Both Cat, and now that he noticed it Xander blinked at the statement, and the blindingly obvious pain behind it.

Xander spoke for the first time, softly asking, "How, Faith?"

Faith whirled on him, "How what?"

"How did she die? And how can you believe it's your fault?" Xander asked. "I've only known you for a few minutes, but even so you don't strike me as someone who'd simply let someone get killed, especially not someone you obviously cared for as much as you did for this woman."

Faith fought back tears, refusing to let these two strangers see her cry, "Kakistos. He and his flunky Trick, they captured us, chained me to a wall. They made me watch. She screamed." Faith failed, and the tears broke, even before she noticed, she was being sandwiched between the other two, Xander on one side, strong and hard, providing an unexpected comfort which was in no way sexual, but was extremely powerful nonetheless; on the other side, Cat was holding her just as supportively, her smaller, softer, and very feminine frame pressing against Faith's, and she found herself flooded with unexpected emotional strength, so she took a breath and went on, almost unable to stop even had she wanted, "I was chained, I couldn't get loose, I tried. Oh, how I tried. I almost pulled my arms off, but all I managed to do was bleed. And make the fucking vampires laugh. All while Linda screamed. It was only after she'd finally died, her screams mercifully fading away that the bastards made their mistake, they were taking her down, from where she'd been hung next to me, so close, yet so far, they loosened the bolts holding down the chains, and I felt my own chains slip, just a bit. So I jerked, so hard I was sure I'd pull my arm off. But I didn't, instead I pulled the whole fucking mess out of the wall. And with one arm free, even if it had a length of chain on it, it wasn't hard for me to kill the fuckers in the room. The chain helped, it's not hard to decapitate a vamp if you swing a length of stele chains fast enough. I got my other arm free, then levered myself off the wall, and I made them pay for what they did to Linda. Every last one of those bastards, they paid. But Kakistos and Trick, they got away." The tears were flowing so hard now she couldn't see anymore, her limbs so weak that if Xander and Cat hadn't been holding her up, she'd have fallen to the sidewalk. But they held her, and they didn't say a thing as she cried, finally mourning the loss of the only person ever to give a fuck about her in her whole life, the only decent person she'd ever loved. Finally the tears slowed down, and she spoke again, "The last thing she said to me before we were captured, when they were still chasing after us, was that if I managed to get away that I was to come to California and find Buffy Summers and Rupert Giles. It was kinda her last request. I had to do it. So I left," her voice broke again, and she took a shuddering breath, then continued again, "I left Linda there, buried in a grave I dug her myself in the woods, in a place I knew she liked. I left her, and I came out here. Had to bum rides and scam cash for bus tickets and food, but I made it, I came out here, got a room at the Motor Lodge, and hooked up with B and her gang."

Faith reached up and wiped the last of the tears out of her eyes. She took another deep breath, then forced her face to take on a more resolved composure before looking at the short Blonde beside her. "Is that what you wanted to hear?" she asked, an edge of anger creeping back into her voice as her emotional defenses came back online.

Cat nodded, "I suppose so."

Xander however wasn't satisfied. "No." he said, softly.

Faith whirled on him, the strength returning to her limbs in a surge of adrenalin triggered by a surge of genuine anger. "What?"

"I still didn't hear how you let Linda die. I heard how you were chained to a wall, unable to do a damn thing while the one person you cared about was murdered beside you, but I didn't hear how you could have done anything more than you did, how you were the one who allowed her to die. So I want to know why you feel like it was your fault?"

Faith's anger fled as she felt a chasm of futility open in her soul, "Because I'm the Slayer! The One Girl in all the world with the strength and power to fight the fucking forces of darkness. And I couldn't do a damn thing!"

"Exactly, Not didn't, couldn't. And if you're the one girl, then what's Buffy? Sliced cheese?" Xander asked.

Faith almost smiled at his lame attempt at a joke, but she got his point, and as she did so, she felt the chasm in he soul slam shut, and an enormous weight she hadn't even realized was there lift from her heart. She took a deep breath, and realizing how much better she suddenly felt, glanced over at Cat and returned her smile. "More like sliced bologna, she's so full of it."

Xander actually laughed at that, a fond smile playing over his face as he hugged the brunette Slayer he still held in one arm, and Cat squeezed her from the other side at the same time. "Better now?" she asked softly, looking up into Faith's eyes.

For a moment, Faith forgot about just how vulnerable she'd been moments before, as she looked down into toe smaller woman's almost glowing green eyes. "Yeah." She said in full honesty, feeling surprised at her own answer.

"Good. Now, back to my first question, how old are you?" Cat asked, grinning at her in such a way that Faith found her defenses crumbling again, but this time in a somehow happy way.

"I just turned fifteen two months ago. Linda got me a leather jacket for my birthday." She said, indicating the black jacket she currently had on, "It's all I have left from her."

Cat shook her had, "Not true. I told you not to try and lie to us, even if you aren't aware of it. You still have all the good memories of her in your heart. The ones which make your mind all golden and happy when you think about her. And you'd better not let them die away, because I'm sure she wouldn't be at all happy with you if you did."

Faith thought about that, then smiled yet again. "You're right. Damn, Cat, how'd you get so smart?"

Cat shrugged, "Seven thousand years of experience, I suppose. Although most of that time I spent being protected by my Mom, my brothers, and my Uncles, one of whom turned out to be the Father who's identity I never knew."

"Father you never knew? You mean like your Mom's brother knocked her up and everyone tried to pretend it didn't happen or something? That'd suck." Faith asked.

Cat just laughed, the musical tinkle of her laughter sounding odd in the otherwise quiet downtown area they had stopped in seemingly so long ago. "No. But it sucked anyhow. See, there was this prophecy."

Faith scowled and Xander laughed as well at her expression. "Yeah, I hate 'em too, but I think Cat's got the best reason to dislike the things."

"Anyhow, in order to try and avoid it, they gave me a name with no word associated to it, it was just an ideogram, because the prophecy said the man who spoke my name would take me from my father's hand and consume me, binding me to himself forever."

Faith's eyes opened at that, "So they never told you who your father was, and never really gave you a name?"

Xander spoke again, "Bast's Daughter. That was the only name used for her."

Faith shook her head, "And I thought I had it bad, at least she mostly just ignored me, when she was straight enough to notice me at all that is."

Cat shrugged. "I knew my family loved me, so it wasn't as bad as all that. But still, all my life I only wanted one thing, a name. They never told ME about the prophecy of course, so I never knew why my real name was just a funny picture. And whenever I asked about my father, all they would say was he loved me very much, but because of that he had to stay away. Uncle Janus, who turned out to really be my Dad almost filled that role, but for one thing, he'd never hold me. He'd hardly touch me, because he was afraid if he held me in his hands, someone would come and speak my name and take me from him, 'cause that was the prophecy."

"Damn." Faith said, shaking her head.

"Then one day I got a little too independent, and went out on my own, without my Mom or my older Brother Maahes along. And the next thing I knew, I'd been snatched and had a locking spell put on me, trapping me in cat form, and been literally dragged to Hell."

Faith's eyes widened again, "Damn. I mean, I heard you'd been in Hell, but just like that?"

Cat nodded, "I was to be a sacrifice. There was this Demon Lord, and he planned to literally eat me, so as to consume my power for his own. It wouldn't have worked, not completely, but it would have given him a significant boost. He'd apparently heard of the prophecy though, and thought it'd work better with me than with others."

"So what happened?" Faith asked.

Cat grinned fondly and looked t her Husband, "He happened. I was chained to an alter, bound both physically and mystically so that I couldn't use any of my powers, or even change my shape, and he came in, swinging that sword of his, and killing everything in sight, including the Demon Lord about to eat me, before cutting off my chains and carrying me out of there. But that wasn't the important thing, not to me."

Faith looked back and forth between Xander and Cat, then asked, "So what was the important thing, if saving your ass wasn't the biggie?"

Cat grinned, "After I opened a portal for us to take us wherever he belonged, we ended up in some woods. And a truck came by and offered to give Xander a ride to town. I showed up, and the driver asked him about me. And he told the guy I was part of the same deal which had gotten him stranded in the middle of a forest in filthy, stinky clothes which looked nothing like modern people would wear. And he told the driver my name was Snowball."

Faith looked confused, "Huh?"

Xander spoke up again, "She was still a cat. I didn't know she wasn't just a cat. She makes a really cute cat though."

There was a flash, and a pure white cat with green eyes looked up at Faith and blinked, before opening its mouth to ask, "Merow?"

Xander bent down and lovingly lifted the cat into his arms, "See?" At Faith's nod he went on, "Anyhow, here's this pretty white kitty I'd just snatched from the depths of Hell, and the driver asked me what her name was. What else could I call her? I mean, think about the odds?"

Faith got it and started laughing. This was a serious laugh, and was so hard Xander had to drop Cat and grab Faith to steady her. Cat looked up at them for a moment, then flashed back to her human form. "And that's how we met, and how I fell in love with him."

Faith frowned, "But wait, you said there was a prophecy?"

Cat nodded, "Yeah. He said my name, he later took me from my Father's hand, when we got married, and afterwards, well, the result is that we are literally one person, on a mystical level. I'm still me, and he's still him, but what he is, I am, and what I am, he is, and we'll both be together for eternity."

Faith's eyes grew at that, then she started laughing again. "So the prophecy, the thing your family feared for what, five thousand years,"

"More like Seven Thousand." Cat corrected.\

"Right, Seven Thousand years." Faith laughed, starting to loose it again, "Was that you'd get hitched to the X-Man here?"

Cat grinned, "Yeah, it was supposed to be a good fortune, but it got misinterpreted. Like most of the stupid things."

Finally getting a hold of herself, Faith stifled the rest of her laughter, and offered her new friend a grin, "That's totally cool. Thanks for sharing your story with me."

Cat smiled, "And thanks for sharing your story with us."

Faith remembered what she'd managed to suppress about the first part of their conversation suddenly, but this time, it didn't hurt so much. Which was both surprising and good. "You're welcome. Damn, you won't tell anyone though, will you?" she asked, a sudden surge of fear shooting through her.

Cat shook her head, "No. We'll keep your secret. And you'll keep mine. Very few people know my True Name, and it's important to keep it that way, because names have power. With my Name I can be both summoned and bound against my will. So please don't spread it around, ok?"

Realizing the level of trust Cat had placed in her shocked Faith, who simply nodded. "Ok. I promise."

Cat smiled as Xander nodded, then he gestured down the street towards the High School barely visible in the distance. "Good. Now then, about your entrance, how'd you like to play a little joke on Buffy and Giles?"

At Faith's expression, Xander bowed down and started whispering conspiratorially in her ear, outlining his little plan to get one back on the Scooby Gang for surprising him at his wedding.

Buffy felt the ping of something powerful on her slaydar and had already turned towards the library doors before Faith kicked them open and proceeded inside, a curved sword, like a skinny scimitar, or more like a katana held in one hand, and a dead body tossed over her shoulder.

She made her way into the room before unceremoniously dumping the dead body, face down on one of the library tables, and waving the sword around. "Hey B, Jeeves. I found this really bad-ass demon in Shadyrest, he wouldn't stay dead no matter what I did to him, 'till I took away his shiny sword and stabbed him with it. That seemed to do the trick, but I brought him along so's you could ID him and tell me if I need to look for more. There's something weird about the sword though, it's driving my Slayer Senses wild.

Buffy, ignoring the dead demon, moved over to examine the sword Faith was waving closer "Is it some sort of magic sword?"

Faith shrugged, "I dunno. All I know is when he was trying to use it on me he kept missing. I swear one time he should have slashed me in half, but somehow he missed, just like the others. It worked fine for me though."

"I say!" a heretofore unnoticed middle aged woman said as she stepped forward from where she had been speaking with Giles before being interrupted by Faith's entrance.

Giles, forgetting entirely about his guest reached out to tentatively take the sword from her hand, and as he lifted it, there was a sudden flash of light in the center of the library, right over the Hellmouth, and a figure appeared.

She was blonde, and shorter then Buffy, and while her face was distorted in the palpable anger which could be felt rolling off her in waves it was nonetheless familiar to the two core Scoobies present.

"Who DARES to lay hands upon my husband!" Cat shouted, lifting a hand and summoning Kusanagi from Faith's hands and straight into her own.

Everyone but Faith took a step back at that point, leaving the Slayer almost alone before the fury of the angry Goddess.

"Who's your husband, and what are you doing with my new sword?" Faith demanded indignantly, striding towards the new arrival.

Cat on the other hand was doing her best to retain a stern expression as she took in the expressions of dawning horror on the faces of the two Scoobies.

Buffy, following a hunch took in the general shape of the form still draped face down on the table, before darting back to Cat and the blade she now held, then returning with even greater concern to the still form on the table.

Giles's guest was entirely clueless, but she was the next to speak, saying harshly, "Mr. Giles, what is going on here?"

Giles, not having caught on yet, looked over at the scowling goddess who was now threatening one of his slayers with a familiar looking blade, and spoke himself, "Cat, is that you?"

Buffy finally reached out to the body on the table and gently rolled the form over onto its back.

The still face of Xander Harris was thus exposed as he lay unmoving on the table.

Giles looked over his shoulder, and taking in the countenance now visible on the body on the table uttered a heartfelt "Good lord!"

Cat just looked at Xander laying on the table, and felt his own efforts at remaining still and not melting down into uncontrollable laughter as the situation played out and the other two realized just who the 'Demon' was that Faith found.

Buffy reached out a hand and ran it sadly along Xander's cheek, but jerked it back when she felt his face move slightly at the unexpected contact.

Xander, giving up the charade opened his eyes and grinned sheepishly up at his friend.

Cat started giggling, and that was it for Faith, as she also lost it, bending over and dissolving into laughter for the second time that evening.

Xander sat up and slid off the table, then gathered the still shocked Buffy in a tight hug, whispering to her, "I really missed you guys. Even just in the last few days."

Giles was at a loss for words, as he looked from the giggling Goddess, to his laughing Slayer, to the obviously not dead Xander who was hugging his other Slayer as if he hadn't seen her in years, which wasn't the case, as they had all been together a few weeks before for the wedding.

Xander had been worried about pulling this trick on the others, but now he knew that finally all was right with the world. Then Buffy smacked him in the back of the head. HARD.

"That's for scaring me like that." She said sternly. "What was the idea?"

Xander shrugged, "Other than Faith's actually attacking me on sight when I got here, which gave me the idea, and wanting to get back at you guys for not letting us know you were there for our wedding until afterwards."

"Hey! So not our fault!" Buffy broke in, "The Snyder Demon, Maahes, wouldn't let us talk to you. It was one of his conditions for bringing us in the first place. Said he wanted it to be a surprise."

Xander shrugged and smiled at her sheepishly, "Well it was, but my only regret during the ceremony was that the people who meant the most to me in my life weren't there to be a part of it. If I'd have just known you guys WERE there, I could have worried about something less important!"

Buffy nodded, understanding the logic only Xander could produce.

Giles's guest took that moment to interrupt, "Mr. Giles, perhaps you could introduce me to my Slayer, if you wouldn't mind?"

Giles, who was looking between Cat and Xander, trying to reconcile what apparently had only been some sort of childish prank with the impending disaster he'd felt coming a few moments before finally turned to the woman and nodded, embarrassed by his gaffe. "Of course, Ms. Post."

"Faith, I'd like to introduce you to Mrs. Gwendolyn Post, your new Watcher." Giles said after first clearing his throat.

Faith looked at Mrs. Post then back at Giles, then shot a glance at Cat and at Xander before looking back at Mrs. Post. "I don't need a new Watcher."

"Be that as it may, the Council is aware of your last Watcher's, er, demise, and I wish you had been more forthcoming with us about that, but in any case, Mrs. Post here is to be Ms. Pryce's replacement."

Faith looked at Giles, then back at the new woman and shook her head, "Nope. Not gonna happen. I have a problem with authority figures, they tend to get dead."

Mrs. Post's expression darkened and she spoke again, "Well fortunately its not up to you. I am your new Watcher, and that's all there is to it."

Cat, who had been silent up until now spoke up for the first time. Her voice was soft, yet firm as she said, "Wrong."

Giles looked up abruptly, and he said, "Beg pardon?"

Xander, who had extracted himself from Buffy was making his way towards his wife spoke next, "She's lying."

Giles looked at him in confusion. "Who's lying?"

"This Mrs. Post." Cat answered.

Mrs. Post had had enough at this point, "And who, exactly are you to challenge my authority? One of the council's concerns is that there are far too many people involved here with the Slayers. They are very disappointed with Mr. Giles in that regard, you should know."

Cat nodded, "That is one of the first true things I've heard you say." She glanced as Giles and shook hear head, "But she's lying about being Faith's Watcher."

"Look, Miss, I appreciate your trying to support your little friend here, but your opinion as to my veracity is meaningless. I am a member of the Council, and was sent here to be Mrs. Lehane's new watcher, and that's all there is to it, whether you chose to believe me or not." Mrs. Post tried again.

Xander, standing behind her made a game show buzzer sound, "Barhuhaaa" then shook his head. "Try again. Mrs. Post. But I gotta warn you, that was your second strike. One more and just like in Baseball, you're outa here."

Mrs. Post whirled on him, her eyes flashing in anger, "Now see here! I don't know about Mr. Giles, but I will NOT put up with your childish and immature behavior on my watch!"

Xander shrugged, "That may be, but as far as I can tell, you have no watch, other than the one on your wrist. Now, would you like to tell us what you are doing here on your own, or will we need to help you?"

Giles, not understanding what Xander and Cat were talking about, and halfway thinking they may be joking around again interjected, "Alexander, I assure you I personally checked Mrs. Post's credentials, and they are indeed authentic. Furthermore, the Post family has been involved with the Council for several generations, and I have met with Mrs. Post herself here on more than one occasion. I know for a fact that she is a fully qualified field watcher."

Xander shrugged. "Even so G-Man, she's still lying about being Faith's Watcher. And about being a member of the Council. Granted, I might not've noticed if Cat hadn't pointed it out, but now that I'm paying attention I can see her lies as easily as I can see the tweed of your jacket."

Giles involuntarily glanced down at his jacket for a moment, before returning his gaze to Xander. "I've looked at her paperwork, Xander. I am competent to read documents you know, and everything is in perfect order. There is no question that she's who she says she is."

Xander met Mrs. Post with a hard gaze, "Did you call England?"

Giles glanced towards the phone, a thread of doubt actually entering his mind, as he decided that it wouldn't hurt to place a quick call to headquarters, at least to let them know that Mrs. Post had arrived safely.

Mrs. Post flinched slightly at that, her skin starting to go pale, before flushing with a surge of indignant anger, "I do not have to stand for this!" she declared coldly before turning to the door, "Mr. Giles, trust me that I will be filing a detailed report on this entire episode. It is obvious the concerns regarding civilian interference in matters dealing with the Slayers were not only well grounded, but were underestimated in their effect."

Xander shook his head, "Third strike." He said, moving to block the woman from leaving the library.

"I say, what do you think you're doing?" Mrs. Post demanded.

Xander frowned, "I asked you to come clean on your own. You refused. Now, Sit down." Xander gestured at one of the chairs around the table he had previously been lying on.

Moving like an automaton, Mrs. Post made her way stiffly to the chair and seated herself.

Giles looked over in concern as the other Scoobies simply watched in stunned silence. They remembered Xander's ability to hypnotize people from before, but this display of power was far beyond the simple Jedi Mind tricks they'd seen from him in the past.  
Cat moved over to stand between her husband and Faith, reaching out and silently placing a hand on Faith's shoulder and squeezing it in a show of support which meant more to the Slayer than she would have expected.

Xander hept his gaze fixed on the woman seated unmoving in the chair before him as he asked, "Who are you?"

The woman opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, and replied, "Gwendolyn Post."

Xander nodded, "What is your affiliation with the Watchers?"

Mrs. Post once more opened her mouth as if to answer but simply froze, as though unable to speak for some reason. After a few tries she finally answered, "I was a field Watcher, training a Potential, but after a review where they determined I had been abusing Dark Magics, I was summarily dismissed."

Giles, who had been moving forward to try and intervene in the apparent interrogation of a fellow Watcher suddenly stopped and took a step back as he murmured a "Good Lord!"

Faith shook her head as Buffy narrowed her gaze on the woman.

Cat was the next to speak. "What is your interest in Faith?"

Mrs. Post didn't hesitate this time. She immediately answered, "She's vulnerable, and in the chaos caused by the disappearance of Mrs. Price and her sudden unexpected appearance here with Mrs. Summers, whom Quinton had been most insistent she never even meet, I saw an opportunity to take control of her."

Faith started forward, but Cat's hand which was still on her shoulder softly tightened its grip, firmly restraining the first violent impulse of the young Slayer.

"What did you want with her?" Xander asked.

Mrs. Post opened her mouth and paused for a few moments, once more almost fighting before answering, "To get me the glove."

"What glove?" Xander asked.

"The Glove of Myneghon. I heard a demon named Lagos was coming to the Hellmouth to obtain the Glove from some tomb somewhere here in Sunnydale. I want it for myself. With it, I can stop worrying about the sanctimonious bastards from the Council and do as I please." Mrs. Post answered, this time without pause.

"And Faith? What about her?" Cat asked, "What were your plans for Faith after you had obtained this glove?"

Mrs. Post answered immediately, "A Slayer would be a useful asset. I planned to take her with me when I left. She would be easy to manipulate and manage, and once away from here the Council would have no opportunity to regain control of her."

Faith surged forward again, but was once more restrained by Cat's hand. Buffy's expression darkened, but it was Giles who actually responded, "Bitch!" he muttered, his old Ripper persona briefly surfacing as he moved forward towards the calmly seated woman. Xander looked up and met his eyes, and he stopped, wondering why for a moment.

Finally Xander spoke, "What should we do about this, G-Man? Is there some sort of Watcher Jail that we can send her to?"

Giles shook his head, "The Watchers are more of a training, research and oversight organization, we don't maintain prisons."

Cat however had a speculative look in her eye. She looked over at Faith, who was still seething, the hurt from the intended betrayal outlined by the woman's intentions plainly visible on her face. "Actually, Mr. Giles, I think you had the right idea." Cat said.

Everyone, other than Mrs. Post turned to her and she shrugged, "You called her a bitch. I'm thinking miniature poodle. That should keep her out of the way. And even if she should somehow regain human form again, it should provide plenty of warning to keep away from Faith and the rest of us."

With that, Cat stared at Mrs. Post, and concentrated. There was a brief shimmer in the air, and where the woman had been seated on the chair, now a ridiculous miniature pink poodle with a ribbon on its head was there instead. The dog looked around, as though suddenly wakening then fell over on its side when it tried to move. It looked at itself, then at the people gathered around it, and it whined as it stood wobbling on all four legs looking up at them from its vantage point on the seat of the chair.

Xander looked down at the dog and frowned, "Mrs. Post, I warned you to cooperate. You have been found guilty of inhumane actions and intentions, and have been sentenced to the loss of your humanity. Be grateful it wasn't the loss of your life. You will leave this place and never return. You will never attempt to contact anyone involved with either this group or the Watchers again, nor will you seek any sort of vengeance. Failure to follow these instructions will have consequences more grave than anything you can imagine. You asked who my wife is. I will tell you, she is the daughter of the Egyptian Goddess Bast, who is well known for her tendency to ruthlessly vanquish any foes who threatened those under her protection. Her older brother, Maahes, the Leonine Lord of Slaughter is also well known for his violent protectiveness. What is less known is that both her Mother and her Brother are the more lenient ones when compared to Cat. There aren't any stories about those she's dealt with, because there usually aren't any survivors to tell stories. I have seen her destroy an entire world as easily as breathing. I have seen her with a careless burst of anger melt an area sixty miles across to bubbling glass, just to destroy the enemies it held. Whether you believe me or not I don't care. But the fact is that Faith is under her protection, as well as my own. And no harm will come to her, either by intent or neglect. Bear that in mind for the rest of your existence, and bear in mind the fact that this sentence she has passed on you was nothing more than a warning. Don't make her reconsider her actions. Trust me, you wouldn't like the consequences." Xander stepped aside and pointed towards the still open doors of the library before ordering, "Now, get out."

The poodle which had once been Mrs. Post whined and leaped clumsily from the chair, skidded along the floor of the library, bounced off a leg of the table, and fled out the door as fast as it could.

Buffy and Giles were staring in shock at the whole thing, but Faith was the most stunned. Not only because what she'd just seen Cat do, but also because of what Xander had just said. She'd only met them a short time ago, but somehow in that time they had come to mean more to her than she could have ever imagined. And they cared about her. No one ever gave a fuck about her before, other than Linda. But somehow she knew that for whatever reason these two newcomers actually did care. About her.

Buffy looked at the open door of the library and was the first to speak, "Um, will she be ok?"

As everyone focused their attention on her she squirmed and tried to explain. "I mean, you guys just turned her into a dog. What'll happen to her?"

Xander shrugged, "If she's smart, she'll leave town. Perhaps head somewhere else and find a nice family to adopt her. If not, then some dog catcher will find her and she'll end up in the pound. Or, some car might hit her, or something eat her. I don't really care whichever way. At least this way she's got a chance. The only other option would have been to kill her. Anything else would have been unacceptably dangerous."

Buffy looked back at Xander and wondered if she still knew him. The Xander she knew wouldn't have been so casual about literally turning someone into a dog and then tossing them out on their own. Not that that woman didn't deserve it, but still, it wasn't something she would have expected from her best male friend.

Giles on the other hand was simply amazed by the casual display of power from Cat, coupled with the information he'd so casually dropped during his warning, about Cat's effortlessly destroying a whole world, or blasting an area larger than most cities into melted glass. It worried him what else she may be able to do.

Then Cat looked back at the spot where she'd first appeared and frowned. "Xander, do you feel that?" she asked.

Xander looked where she was looking and nodded, "Yeah, I wasn't so sensitive to it before, but it's familiar. It's just the Hellmouth."

Cat shook her head, "It's just an improperly closed portal. Why would someone leave it open like that?" She closed her eyes a moment, and everyone present felt something fundamental shift in the environment around them, almost like when your ears pop and suddenly everything is so much louder and clearer then what had previously seemed to be perfectly normal before. A weight of something was lifted and everything was sharper and cleaner. "There. That's better." She said with a grin.

Xander just stared at her in horror, "Cat, what have you done?" he asked.

Mayor Wilkens, the First, Second, and Third, sat in his office going over some final paperwork for the evening, when he felt the change.

At this distance it was more subtle than it had been for those in the library, but the sudden loss of pressure, the dissipation of ambient magical energy, and the disappearance of the demonic beacon which made Sunnydale so unique was unmistakable. "Oh dear.", he said as he reached for the phone, "This won't do, this won't do at all."

He swiftly dialed Principal Snyder's home number, he needed to know what had happened to the Hellmouth, and how to fix it immediately. Without the ambient magical energy provided by the dormant dimensional gateway his Ascension wouldn't work as planned, and having already selected the demon he was to Ascend into, it wasn't a question of simply increasing the number of sacrifices, although if he were to say, somehow sacrifice all the souls in Los Angeles or something, he might still be able to pull the transformation off. But it was too long a shot, especially at this late a stage in the process. No, his Ascension depended on the Hellmouth, so he'd just have to find a way to fix it, even if he did have to somehow kill the whole state to do so.

Cat looked at the horrified expression on her husband's face, and felt the surge of panic radiating from the echo of him inside her mind, and realized that perhaps closing that annoying portal properly might not have been a good idea. "I closed the portal. It was bothering me. Was that a bad thing?"

Xander shook his head, even as Buffy and Giles started to smile at the idea of the Hellmouth actually being dealt with on a permanent basis. "Yes! Don't you remember what The Creator told us?"

Giles dropped his glasses. "The Creator?" he asked.

Cat looked confused, "He said we couldn't interfere in people's accomplishing their destinies, that while we could help we couldn't do things for them which they may be able to do themselves, and we shouldn't affect the balance of power."

"Well, I think that sealing the Hellmouth might count as a shift in the balance of power. I sure hope I'm wrong, but I'm really worried about just how much trouble me may be in with the guys upstairs." Xander replied.

Giles spoke up, "I don't know about this balance of power, but if the Hellmouth is genuinely sealed, then a major danger to this world has been eliminated. How could that be anything other than a good thing?"

A new voice spoke sternly from the doorway, deep and male, and full of restrained fury, "Because the dimensional plane upon which Hell exists and the one for this series of realities intersect at an angle. And the native energy state of Hell is significantly higher than that of this reality, which means that breaches between the two will inevitably occur. The controlled breach of the closed Hellmouth acted as a safety valve, allowing the energy differential to balance. Additionally, the presence of an existing portal connecting this reality to Hell precluded any of the lesser demons from opening a portal of there own, the lowest path of resistance naturally being the pre-existing path. And since the opening on this end was crimped closed, the only way out from the other end was through the sideband portal, which lead to another Hell Dimension, one with an even lower energy state than Earth, and the actual destination of most of the energy channeled by the Hellmouth. Now there is nothing to preclude a lower level demon in Hell from opening a portal to this area, not only that but the building pressure will cause one of the other Hellmouths to become active in order to vent it and prevent an apocalyptic dimensional breach which would allow all of Hell free access to this Earth."

Xander turned to look behind him and recognized the warrior face of Janus. "Alexander, did you do this?" his Patron asked, turning it's stern gaze fully on him.

Xander actually flinched under the look and replied, "Not personally, no."

Janus then turned his head around, revealing the fatherly face he'd displayed at the wedding, and settled it on his daughter. "Cat, I though you would have known better?"

Cat nodded, "It was icky, I just thought I was cleaning up something someone left by mistake."

Janus shook his head, "No. I was the one who created the Hellmouths in the first place. And I did so in order to protect this series of realities from full scale demonic incursion."

Buffy broke in, "Yeah, like leaving a doorway anyone could open up to Hell is such a good idea to forestall the Apocalypse."

Janus shook his head, "Anyone on THIS SIDE. The main danger are the full Demons in Hell. If they were able to access this domain freely then it would be like the old times all over again, before they were cast out and the Hellmouths created to keep them out."

"Yeah, but there are plenty of demons on this side who would like nothing better than to open the Hellmouth and let all their buddies back in." Buffy defended.

Janus shook his head, "Ms. Summers, you have never seen a Demon. All you have seen are half-breeds and minor demonic entities. A True Demon would be so powerful that a Slayer wouldn't qualify as more than a minor snack on its way to dinner. They tend to be large, so much so that a large Dinosaur could be considered a full meal, for some of the smaller ones. And that is just their physical presence. Mystically they could make the greatest human magic users of history look like carnival sideshow hacks by comparison. Trust me, you don't want any of them around here. And if the minor so-called demons with which you deal understood just how far down the food chain they'd fall, they wouldn't want them around either. It is a simple misguided belief that somehow they'll be rewarded for their assistance that encourages them to try. The reality is that any creatures who are stupid enough to open the mouth from this side are generally eaten by Tiamat and the mouth closed before any significant invasions can occur."

"Tiamat, that's the hydra thing which showed up when the Master opened the Hellmouth?" Buffy asked.

Janus nodded, "Yes. Tiamat is the unofficial guardian of this Hellmouths other ends in Hell. She lives there and eats anything which approaches. And if for some reason the opening here becomes accessible, she eats anything here as well, which is usually the ones responsible for opening it in the first place. She also eats any creatures trying to pass through the sideband portals between Hell and the other Hell Dimensions."

Buffy asked, "What's the difference between Hell, and a Hell Dimension?"

Cat answered, "A Hell Dimension is one which is still freely accessible by Hellgods and full Demons. Hell is where they all came from in the first place, where we were, and where Lucifer holds full authority, a single reality where all the doomed souls from all the realities are consigned to face their punishments. There are many realities, several of them Hell Dimensions, but there is only one Hell, and only one Heaven."

Janus nodded, "Precisely. Which is why you should have realized that a standing portal to Hell was there for a reason. Now, since you were the one which removed it, I want you to put it back, before something bad can happen. Already the Hellmouth in Cleveland is becoming active. With nothing and no one in place to guard against an increase in demonic activity, the results there could be catastrophic for those who live in that city."

Buffy's eyes widened as she realized perhaps the Hellmouth here wasn't as bad a thing as she'd first thought.

Cat closed her eyes and concentrated, a glowing portal opening in the air before her and the head of a Hydra shooting through it to snap at her.

Xander moved in less than an eye blink, Kusanagi flashing into his hand from Cat's as he appeared before his wife and sliced the blade through the neck of the head reaching for Cat.

The head fell to the floor of the library and started to melt, while the severed neck pulled back into the opening, only to be replaced by another.

Janus shook his head and said, "It needs to be aligned with the floor, Cat. And you need to crimp this end closed, like the old one was. Also, it needs to be a lot bigger. Try again."

The portal vanished and Cat opened her eyes and frowned at her father. Giles spoke up, "Is it really necessary to open the portal? We've been trying to avoid that event you know."

Janus nodded, "Yes. In order to create a stable portal it must be fully opened, so the energy flows between the differing states on the various ends can be tapped to power it."

"But what if something gets through?" Buffy asked.

Janus shrugged, "We kill it."

Cat closed her eyes again, and this time the entire floor of the library started to glow. And a portal started to spin open from the compass in the center of the room. People stepped back as the glowing vortex continued to expand, a chair, and then an entire table falling into the maw of the expanding disk.

Once more the hydra started poking heads into the room, this time looking around before moving to attack. Upon spotting Janus standing by the door, all the heads whipped around to face him and hiss menacingly, before withdrawing once more into the glowing disk, which had finally stopped growing.

"Good", Janus said, looking at what Cat was doing. "Now use the energy flow to anchor the portal. Feel how much more force there is coming from Hell than there is on either this or the other ends? Now use that force to hold the portal open. Anchor the far end of the sideband, then crimp this end closed so nothing can fit through.

Xander felt Cat drawing far more force than he ever had before, he noticeably felt the energy she was directing as she attempted to anchor all three ends of the portal, and support them with the flow of energy through them, instead of from her own will. He closed his own eyes and reached into the echo of Cat in his mind, joining with her to help.

To everyone in the library, Xander suddenly vanished in a flash of light, Cat's form flashing as well briefly, then they felt a pop of pressure as something indefinable changed.

Janus smiled and nodded, "That's it. Now crimp down this end so nothing can come through. Don't quite close it, just like it was before."

The gaping maw of the Hellmouth slowly dwindled, the vortex of energy shrinking until finally it vanished. But that previously unnoticed omnipresent overpressure of indefinable energy was back. The Hellmouth was restored.

Cat opened her eyes and looked around, a faint frown on her lips. "Is that right?" she asked her father.

As Janus nodded, Cat's form flashed and Xander reappeared, standing beside her once more.

"I say, what just happened?" Giles asked, picking his glasses up from the floor and starting to clean them.

Janus looked at him then turning his head around and looking at the young couple with a proud motherly face replied, "My daughter just did something only I have ever been able to do before. She created a Hellmouth."

"But what happened to Xander? Why'd he disappear?" Faith asked, speaking up for the first time.

Cat looked over at Xander, who looked back at Cat before answering, "She needed my help. That was, hard. I almost didn't think we could do it."

Buffy asked, "We?"

Janus nodded, turning his warrior's face towards Buffy as he explained, "You recall the prophecy? How the Undestined Godling would consume my daughter and keep her for all eternity? Well, Xander was that Godling, or rather, they are now the Undestined God. In some ways, Xander and Cat are the same being. One of the more powerful deities around, in fact. Separately each of their aspects are powerful, but together they are almost the equal of some of the Elder Gods. When Cat created the Hellmouth, the power required everything they both had, so they merged to do it. I had hoped they could manage, but hadn't been sure."

"So this was a test?" Faith asked.

Janus shrugged, "Not exactly. I knew Cat could create the Hellmouth, even if the combined power of the Undestined God wasn't enough, since Xander is still my Champion, he can draw on my power if need be, and since Cat is a part of him, as he is of her, she could also draw on it if she needed to. But I wanted to know if they had enough power to do so without drawing on mine. And they did."

Giles suddenly asked, "Alexander is a God?"

At Janus's nod he fell back into his chair with a murmured "good lord.", an ashen expression on his face as the events of the previous few minutes finally caught up with him.

"What do you mean Xander is a God? I mean, I understood he was like all super vampire like and stuff, and I understood that he was marrying Cat, and she's supposed to be this Egyptian Goddess, but how does that make Xander a God?" Buffy asked.

Janus turned a wizened old man's face towards the slayer and explained, "Even before he joined with my daughter, Alexander had quite a bit more power than just some sort of super vampire. He had started with quite a bit, more than even I had realized when I chose him as my champion, and he increased that several fold while stuck in Hell for all those years. Every time he drained a demon, he not only absorbed their taint, which weakened him, but their power, which strengthened him at the same time. In many ways, he was as powerful as Cat, although his strengths and gifts differed from hers significantly. When they joined, those strengths were added together, accessible by both of them equally. Making them both more than they were before. And Cat was a powerful Goddess by herself before she was joined to Alexander. So how can Alexander now be anything less?"

Three sets of eyes fixed on Xander as Buffy, Faith, and Giles looked at him for some sign of Godliness. But he still looked more or less Xander-like, although now that they paid attention to him, they all noticed that the palm trees on his Hawaiian Shirt were waving softly in a breeze while slow breakers rolled up on the sunset lighted beach. It was a subtle effect, one you may not even notice unless you stared at the overly-colorful shirt, something the mortal eye distained to do.

Faith smirked at him and asked, "So how's it working, being a God and all? Any cool bennies?"

Xander shrugged, uncomfortable under their stares, but replied, "I guess it's easier to replace broken things." With that he waved at the vacant floor of the library and a new table and several matching chairs appeared to replace the ones which fell into the Hellmouth. "But other than that, there's not that much to it."

Buffy goggled at the newly created furniture, while Faith just grinned and sat on one of the chairs, looking at her two new friends.

Janus turned to Xander with his stern warrior's face, and spoke again, "The Creator and I have spoken about you, and your place here. He wishes me to remind you not to cripple your friends with dependency on you, to let them make their own way, and to moderate your effects. We also spoke about your position as my Champion. After serious consideration on both our parts, and a through examination of the Compact, all noted violations, and the results thereof. In no way does it specify or infer that a Champion can't be a god or goddess, and in the past several powerful mortal and non-mortal beings have been selected as champions, both by single deities, or more often, by power groups, such as the Powers that Be, or specific pantheons. None have been anywhere close to your current levels of power though, and none had even been chosen by an Elder God and allowed to draw upon their patron for power. But seeing as your selection as my Champion has been in effect for a considerable amount of time, and while your power level and recognizable status has evolved, your fundamental nature is still as it was before I even selected you, we can see no reason why you have to resign your position. It is expected that there will be complaints, especially from the Powers that Be, once they realize what the situation is, but that said, it has already been decided that you will be allowed to remain as my chosen Champion and representative, able to act on my behalf and as my Avatar as required, until such a time as you wish to resign the position, or I fund a more worthy candidate. And I really don't expect that to happen."

Giles rose from his seat and addressed Janus, asking, "Janus, is it really wise, taunting the Powers that Be, after all they are the Protectors of Humanity."

Janus's twisted around, fixing Giles with the face of an angry young man as he sneered, "Protectors of Humanity? More like Puppeteers of Humanity. They lead their champions around carelessly at best, guiding them with bare hints and clues, as though everything was some stupid adventure game, setting up various scenarios and complex plots, then whining when something crops up that they didn't expect. Such as when Alexander rescued Elizabeth here. Had things gone to plan, Liam would have hidden in his apartment, mourning the soon to be death of his crush, while Giles similarly mourned his Slayer's predetermined end at the hands of the Master. Once the Master had escaped his cave, he was to have come here, killed the Watcher and several students, then been eaten by Tiamat upon opening the Hellmouth. Liam would then have gone to Los Angeles in a mire of despair, all the contacts he'd forged with Humanity destroyed, and he would have begun pursuit of the Shanshu prophecy. Instead, Alexander forced the cowardly vampire to lead him into the tunnels, revived Elisabeth, who is now a free agent, no longer the Chosen One of the Slayer Line, that title having been passed to Kendra upon her death. And after that their plans fell apart like the half baked concepts they really were, Liam slept with Elizabeth, lost his soul, killed several people, failed to save others from perils the Powers nudged them into since he wasn't in Los Angeles, or even in this reality for a long time. They sent their new Slayer, Kendra after Alexander, and she was lost to darkness, becoming the new Great Evil her watcher had foretold rising. When she was finally dispatched, Faith here was called, and they still haven't learned, since they tried to send her after Alexander as well. No, the Powers are not the Protectors of Humanity."

"But the Watcher's Council has it on good authority that." Giles started.

Janus turned his head, presenting the warrior face and cut him off, "The Watcher's Council? The bunch of stuck up old money English prats who send children to their deaths against Vampires because it is their so called Destiny then if they live long enough murder them with their so called Cruciamentum ritual on their eighteenth birthday? Be very glad I don't see you as one of their number, Mr. Giles. Be very glad indeed."

"What's a Cruciamentum?" Buffy asked, concerned as her eighteenth birthday was only a month or so away.

"It's nothing." Giles tried to reply, but the Janus turned his Fatherly face towards Buffy and responded, "When a Slayer turns eighteen, the council drugs her to suppress her strength, speed, and reflexes, making her slower and weaker than most humans, then they lock her unarmed in a room with a powerful master vampire and let him kill her. Oh, on the odd chance she somehow survives, she is declared to have passed her Cruciamentum and is supposed to be allowed to chose her own actions in regards to Slaying from that point on. But of the few children to live that long in the first place, almost none of them pass that barbaric test. And since most of those who do immediately turn against the Council, going 'Rogue' as they put it, they are generally hunted down and killed by a Council assassination squad."

Buffy turned her eyes on Giles and demanded, "You wouldn't let them do that to me, would you?"

Giles flushed red, as he had been worrying over just this issue for several nights of list sleep of late, and had yet to make up his mind fully on how to balance the responsibility he felt both to Buffy, as well as to the Council and Tradition. "Of course not!" Realizing from something Janus had said he continued with genuine relief flooding through his system, "Why would I, as Janus has said, you're not really The Slayer, so why should you have to face the Cruciamentum?"

Faith however looked at him stricken, "What about me, Jeeves?"

Giles blush redoubled, as he hadn't even considered the Cruciamentum in regards to Faith, but he responded honestly, "It won't even be an issue for several years. But honestly, I can't say as I haven't pondered the moral quandary as much as I had in regards to Buffy."

Faith physically flinched at that, but Buffy jumped in, whining, "You mean you considered it? You actually thought about drugging me and throwing me to my death in a cage with a master vampire?"

Giles sighed and replied, "In my nightmares, yes. I saw myself doing just that, over and over. And when I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to think of a way to avoid doing so. It's not like I can just refuse, Travers would just send a team to insure it was done anyhow, and likely to remove me from the equation permanently."

Janus nodded, "That is likely true." he told the Slayer, "Quentin has been somewhat, dissatisfied, with Rupert's performance for some time, particularly once he learned of the involvement of your friends. He had hoped you would not last long, and had actually celebrated when he learned Kendra had been Called. He drank a prime bottle of Champaign in celebration of once more having a 'properly trained' Slayer. When later he learned you still lived he was almost crushed, but he decided that two Slayers, even if one was a mongrel bitch, as he put it, was better than just the one. When Kendra went bad, he was desolate, refusing to believe the reports. Then when Faith was later called, he actually asked what Gods he had angered to be so abused, that he now had not one, but two mongrels to deal with. I was sorely tempted to answer him."

Faith had grown as angry as Buffy as Janus spoke about the Head Watcher. While she wasn't B's best friend, to hear that some asshole had actually celebrated her death. Then to learn that the bastard thought of her as just as bad. If that Travers guy was here right now, she'd hurt him bad. Really bad.

Giles interjected, "Surely Mr. Travers wouldn't be that prejudiced against Ms. Summers and Ms. Lehane!"

Janus turned back to glare at him with the stern visage of the older warrior, "Do you doubt my word, Mortal?"

Giles took a swallow and stepped back from the face of the angry God, "Uh, no sir."

Janus shifted his face back to a friendlier one and smiled, "Good. Well, I must take my leave."

He walked over to Cat and gathered her into his arms, "It's good to see you daughter. And better to be able to claim you as such after all these years." Kissing her on the cheek he stepped back, and turned to Xander, grabbing him into a tight hug as well, "And Alexander, I hope you continue to make me as proud as you have already. Never doubt that you are my Chosen Champion. And now my son, in all the ways that count."

Janus stepped back, and then simply vanished, leaving the room as though he had never even been there in the first place.

Xander looked over at Cat and smiled, reaching out and taking his wife's hand in his.

Just then the library doors slammed open, and Principal Snyder came barging in, looking disheveled.

Snyder looked around the library with his customary sneer on his face. As his eyes passed over Xander however, they widened and he took a step back, fumbling in his coat and withdrawing a largish cross. "Harris!" he cried in obvious fear. "Wha, what are you doing here?"

Xander moved from his position beside Cat towards the door and Snyder, his movements both slow and measured, "I just got back. Surprised to see me?" he asked.

Snyder lifted the cross and said, "Stay back! I, I know how to deal with you!"

Xander looked at the cross and almost laughed. "Uh, yeah, right. So, what brings you by this evening? I'd figured I'd have to come by in the morning to catch you."

Snyder backed against the wall, his cross held out ahead of himself, the fear on his face evident as he cried out, "Summers, do something! You can't just stand there and let it kill me!"

Xander stepped right up to Snyder, a smile on his face as hs asked, "And why would I do that? I don't want to kill you, I want you to schedule some placement exams for myself and my wife, so we can graduate with the rest of the senior class."

"Graduate? But, you're dead. That Jamaican bitch Kendra and her pedophilic associate Angelus killed you last year. Everyone knows that." Snyder whimpered.

"I didn't die, I just went to Hell. But now I'm back. And I want back in school, with the rest of my class. And you're going to help me with that. And that's why I don't want you dead." Xander said, reaching out and gently plucking the cross from Snyder's hand. "See, I'm not a Vampire." he said, then his eyes started to glow, and his fangs dropped, "I'm much, much worse. At least I am if you get me angry. You don't want to see me angry, do you?"

Snyder was shaking, his hands held up ineffectually in an attempt to ward off Xander as he whimpered, "Nnno. I don't want to see you angry, Aaalexander. I want you to be very happy. But I can't just readmit you to the school. I need documentation for where you were, and, tests. There'd have to be placement tests. You missed the last month of last year, and all of this year so far, you, you mmmight ha-have to be held back half a grade, or, or even a whole grade ta-to make up."

Xander frowned, "Documentation. For where I was. Yeah. I suppose. But I can't very well ask Lucifer for a note." Xander suddenly grinned and stifled a giggle, "Well, actually I suppose I could, and who knows, he may well give it to me, but I still don't think that would work. No, I need a cover story. Somewhere I could have been taken, somewhere that no one would question, as long as I had the documentation. Somewhere Cat could have come from as well."

Buffy spoke suddenly, "Russia."

Everyone looked over at her and she shrugged, "Cat. It could be short for Katrina. A Russian name. And Russia, it's like way far away, and while it's not all full of spies and stuff, it does have a Mafia. So what if you said they kidnapped you, held you hostage or something, and you met Cat, escaped, fell in love, got married, and came back here. It's almost all the truth, all but being in Russia instead of Hell. And its so weird that no one would think it was fake."

Snyder frowned, "I can't purport rate a hoax on the school board like that, Summers."

Xander reached out with his mind, and touched the quivering oily mass which was the Principal's brain, and started to twist. "But it's the truth. Cat and I were in, Russia. we'll bring the documents tomorrow. You will arrange placement tests and when we pass them you will enroll us in the senior class, so we can graduate along with my friends."

Snyder's face went blank, and to the amazement of Faith, Buffy, and Giles, Snyder repeated in a dull monotone, "You and Cat were in Russia. You will bring me documentation tomorrow and I will arrange placement tests then schedule you for classes with the senior class."

"Good. Now, why are you here?" Xander asked, while he still held Snyder's slimy mind firmly in his mental grip.

"The Mayor. He was worried about the Hellmouth. He said something had happened to it, and to find out what was going on. To see if the Slayers or the Watcher were involved." Snyder replied, still in a monotone.

"You will tell him there was a battle, that something tried to destroy the Hellmouth, but the Scoobies fought it and restored the Hellmouth. Now, why would the Mayor want to know about the Hellmouth?" Xander asked.

Snyder's face looked confused for a moment, then he replied, "He knows about everything in town. He always has, even when I was a kid. He just wants the best for Sunnydale and its citizens. I have to do anything I can to help the Mayor. He is the greatest person in the world. We all owe him. I owe him everything. I need to do whatever he asks, and not ask questions. I don't want to know what is really going on if I don't have to. I need to keep an eye on the Watcher and the Slayer, make sure they don't start worrying about anything important. Keep them busy with the demons, vampires, and school. After all, a good education is the cornerstone for a productive future." His voice actually lost its flat intonations as he said this, sounding almost like a dead on imitation of Mayor Wilkens by the last sentence.

"Mayor Wilkens wants to insure I have a good education?" Buffy asked. "Me specifically?"

Snyder just stood there like a statue, staring into Xander's eyes. "Did the Mayor give you specific orders about Buffy and Faith?"

Snyder replied, again in a dead-on impersonation of the Mayor's voice cheerfully replying. "That Summers girl is trouble. But she does do a good job of keeping the riffraff in line. Keep an eye on her. Don't let her slack off and let her grades slip. Education is important in building a future, after all." His voice changed, losing some of its cheerfulness, the pacing and pitch changing as though a different conversation was taking place as Snyder continued imitating the Mayor, "Try to get that new Slayer, Faith back into school. It's a shame that such a lovely young girl is already a dropout living in a den of hookers. Something must be done about it. Perhaps there's some way to get her on our side. Keep an eye out for any opportunities."

"Fuck that shit" Faith said, "I don't need school, it's not like I'm gonna live long enough for it to matter anyhow. Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse. That's me."

Cat speared her with a concerned gaze as she said that, then shook her head, mentally communing with her husband as she did so.

Xander refocused on Snyder, even as he conversed in his head with Cat about the young Slayer. "Ok, you will go back to your office and report to the Mayor that the situation here has been taken care of by the Slayers again. Also let him know you heard us talking about how Cat and I just returned from Russia and will be returning to school tomorrow. Recommend that it'll allow you to keep a better eye on us if the school board agrees to readmitting us. It is your own idea and you are all for it. You will forget you ever entered the Library and spoke to us tonight."

Once more in a flat monotone, Snyder replied, "I will return to my office and call the Mayor. I will tell him the situation has been taken care of by the Slayers, and that you and a girl named Cat have just returned from Russia and will be coming by the school tomorrow. I will recommend we readmit you and ask the Mayor to mention the idea to the school board. I like the idea of having you here where I can keep a better eye on you. I will forget I ever spoke to you tonight."

Xander nodded, then stepped back from the unblinking Snyder, then he gestured at the door. "Now go." he ordered, slowly relaxing the grip on the man's mind.

With almost robotic movements, Snyder turned and made his way through the door, exiting into the hall and disappearing down it.

Turning back to the awestruck Buffy and Giles, Xander just blinked as Faith smirked at him, saying "Cool. Jedi mind trick. Can you teach me?"

Cat just laughed and said, "I don't think so, there's more to it than you would think."

Faith just frowned as Buffy said, "Wow. I've seen you do stuff like that before, but never so, extreme. Is that part of being a God or something?"

"Actually, I think he had that ability long before he met me. I've noticed that since Xander and I joined, that I've had much greater mental influence and perceptions. So much so that at first I didn't realize how much I had changed. But before the wedding even, he'd managed to brainwash a whole bunch of vampire enforcers. At one point, he held everyone in the club the wedding was at under his command. And that was before we were married. I think that's part of what Janus meant when he said Xander was as powerful in his own ways as I was before we were joined." Cat explained.

Xander nodded, "Yeah, it's the same Whammy as before, but I got lots better at it after decades of practice. Or perhaps as I grew more powerful. I dunno. I just do it."

Giles shook his head, "Well, I hope you refrain from doing it often. It's quite disconcerting to observe."

Xander shrugged, "I generally don't, actually. It feels kinda icky whenever I use it, especially tonight, Snyder's got a filthy mind, and not in the dirty thoughts kind of way, I mean his mind oozes nastiness. Like a demon almost, but still human."

"So no slaying the troll?" Buffy asked with a fake pout.

"No slaying the troll. He's not a troll, he's a human, unfortunately." Xander agreed.

Cat smirked, "I can fix that, if you want."

Xander shook his head, "That's ok, dear. We need him anyhow, so we can get in school."

Cat looked confused at that, "Why do you want to go back to school?"

Xander shrugged, "I always regretted that I never got to graduate and prove that troll and my parents wrong. And since the time I spent in Hell apparently hasn't passed here, that means I can still do that. Still show them they were wrong. Still graduate and hold up my diploma and say, 'See! I'm not a looser!' And if I'm going to do that, well, I want you at my side. I always want you at my side, wherever I am and whatever I'm doing, and I always will." With that he recrossed the room and kissed Cat soundly. "So, will you be my High School Sweetheart?"

"I don't know. Will you take me to the Prom?" Cat asked, with a coy smile.

"In a horse drawn carriage, like Cinderella going to the ball, milady." He replied, bowing before her and sweeping an arm out to the side dramatically.

Cat dissolved into laughter as the others smiled at Xander's antics, then regaining her control, she answered, "Then I'll go to school with you, my Husband." And she leaned up and kissed him.

Xander turned his gaze upon Faith, and asked her, "Faith, where are you staying? I know you said you'd spent the first night here in Sunnydale at the Motor Lodge, but where has the G-Man got you at now?"

Giles suddenly flushed red, while Faith just met his eyes and said, "Still there. I got a weekly rate, like the regulars."

Xander looked up in shock at the Watcher, then glanced over at Buffy, and after making eye contact with her, almost ordered her mentally to head for Giles's office. Returning his gaze on the Watcher, he said, "Giles, we need to talk. Your office. Now."

Buffy was already making her way inside, surprised at the mental command from her best male friend, and also at the quiet anger simmering behind it.

As Xander and Giles followed her in, Cat moved over to Faith, and grabbing one of the newly created chairs sat down and started talking to her quietly.

"What the fuck!" Xander shouted as he closed the door behind himself and casually using a tick from Cat's mind tossed a shield around the room which would prevent any intrusion, or any sounds from inside the room getting out.

Giles looked flummoxed, and Buffy confused at Xander's outburst.

"What's the problem, Xander?" Buffy asked.

Xander leveled a gaze which could have melted titanium on the watcher and he demanded coldly, "How the hell can you let a fifteen year old girl live in a fucking hooker hotel?"

Buffy squeeked, "Fifteen?" as Giles just stepped back from Xander's glare and sank into the chair behind his desk.

"I was unaware of the circumstances, I assure you." Giles responded after a moment.

Xander's gaze fell on Buffy, and he just waited.

"Fifteen? I thought she was our age, seventeen, maybe eighteen even. I mean, the way she dresses and stuff." Buffy whined.

"How old were you when you were Called?" he asked.

Buffy blinked. "Fifteen." She replied after a moment.

"And Kendra, how old was she?" Xander asked.

Buffy shrugged, "I don't know, I think about sixteen, like a year younger than us?"

Xander nodded, then turned to Giles. "And how old are most Slayers when they are called?"

Giles removed his glasses and started cleaning them. "I'd say on average, fifteen. No younger than fourteen as far as I know, and no older than sixteen, either."

"So it never occurred to either one of you to ask how old she was?" Xander asked, slowly calming himself down, Cat doing her best to soothe him in the background even as she talked to Faith about her experiences since coming to Sunnydale.

"Well, I must admit it never really crossed my mind to enquire. I mean. She'd informed us that she was just here for a visit, under the direction of her Watcher, and, well, much as it shames me to admit it, I never questioned her word on the matter."

Looking back to Buffy, she shrugged and said, "Yeah, like he said. I actually thought she was like, older than me. And I never asked her where she was staying. I just assumed." Buffy's voice trailed off.

Xander shook his head, deciding it wasn't deliberate neglect that had left Faith where she was. It was still criminal, but at least not deliberate. And Faith and the persona she portrayed was as much to blame as they were for falling for it. "Well, she's not staying there anymore. Cat and I are going to take her home with us to Toronto tonight. Tomorrow we'll see about a more permanent solution."

"Don't you think you should ask Cat before you invite a hot brunette to come spend the night with you, Xan?" Buffy asked, half teasing.

Xander shrugged, "It was Cat's idea, actually. She's working on getting Faith to agree to it right now, in fact."

Buffy blinked at that, then muttered, "Oh, yeah, I forgot, you two have like that link thing. Must be nice, always knowing what each other is thinking. I wish Angel and I had that."

Xander picked up on something from what she just said, and asked, "He's back?"

Buffy shot to her feet, her face going red. "Uh, no! I didn't say that. I mean had had that. Like before."

Xander released the field sealing the room, and moved over to open the door. "Do the others know, or only you?" he asked Buffy, as Giles just sat there looking confused.

Buffy shook her head, "Stop that! I thought you were my friend, Xander! I wouldn't go reading your mind if I had the opportunity. Don't go around reading mine!"

Xander smiled at her, "I'm not reading your mind, Buffy. But as Cat pointed out to Faith earlier this evening, it's a waste of everyone's time to try lying to us. It's almost like a big flashing sign lights up around you saying 'Partial Lie' or 'Total Lie' or 'Changing the Subject' or whatever. Nothing I do, its just there."

Buffy looked behind her at Giles, still sitting at his desk in his office as they approached Cat and Faith, and asked, "But I hadn't even said anything."

Cat looked up and smiled, "No, but when you mentioned him, that sign light up, and it said a lot. And Xander put two and two together."

Xander just shrugged, "Then when you tried to lie, that told me the rest." Turning to Faith, he said, "Faith, Please don't take this the wrong way, but there is no way I am letting you spend one more night in that douche bag motel. I will give you two choices, first, you stay with either Giles or Buffy tonight. Second, you come with Cat and I, and spend the night at our place. We'll work something out so you can have your own room, and there won't be any strings attached. But I'll blast that damn motel to the ground and drag you kicking and screaming to Child Protective Services before I'll let you go back to that bug infested piece of crap. Even living with my parents would have been better than that."

Faith stood up, her face flushing with anger, "Who the hell died and made you God?"

Cat giggled, and Buffy just stared at Xander once more in shock at his sudden shift in conversation, having expected to get a long 'Angel is evil' lecture from him, not have him start in on Faith about her hotel. How bad a place could it be?

"Well, I guess I did, at some point or another, if you want to get technical about it. But seriously, Faith, I know we just met you earlier this evening, but what we told that bitch earlier is true, Cat and I care about you, and I'd like to think of you as a friend. And there is no way in hell, and I speak from personal experience here when I say that, that I am letting one of my friends live in the Sunnydale Motor Lodge." Xander explained.

"And what, I don't get a say in my own life?" Faith asked, still steamed.

"Yes you get a say. You can say if you want to stay with Giles, or Buffy, or us, or CPS. What you DON'T get is to stay in a filthy bug infested room sandwiched between a pair of hookers, their johns, and their drug addicted boyfriends and or pimps. How you've managed not to kill at least one of the pimps so far for trying to add you to his herd I don't know, but I'm sure it'd happen sooner or later." Xander explained.

"What if I want to be added to the herd." Faith demanded.

"Then when you turn eighteen you move to Nevada and you sign up at the best bordello you can find, after checking the various pay scales and benefits packages they offer, like any other intelligent, independent self respecting woman who wants to sell herself would do. It's your life, and your choice. But that's not the issue at the moment. The issue right now is where you are sleeping tonight, not if you are going to become a prostitute should you so choose." Xander replied with a grin.

Cat looked up at her and spoke softly, "Faith, I know you want to keep your independence. But this isn't about independence, it's about quality of life. From what Xander remembers about the Motor Lodge, its not someplace I'd want people I don't like living in. How can we let someone we like stay there, especially when there's no reason for it. Like Xander said, if you want to come back with us for the night, we'll only ask that you not kill the neighbors. Then tomorrow we can try ad work something out. Ok?"

Faith looked back and forth between Xander and Cat, glancing occasionally over at Buffy, before suddenly slumping and sinking back down into the chair. "Ok. I'll crash at your pad for tonight."

Buffy smiled, surprised the other Slayer had agreed, and silently wondering if one of the other two had used some of their mojo on her to make her agree, before dismissing the idea.

"Cool." Xander said, as Cat reached over and gave the other girl a supportive hug.

Turning to Buffy he asked, "He's still got his soul?"

Buffy was momentarily confused by the question, then realized what he was asking, and silently nodded.

"Good. Try and keep it that way. And I'd recommend telling the others before they find out on their own. Best case it'll cause problems, worst someone may stake him before they know better." Xander said, gathering her in a one armed hug.

Releasing Buffy, Xander turned to Faith and Cat and asked, "Ok. Shall we head home?"

Cat nodded and Xander closed his eyes for a moment, a portal spinning into existence in the middle of the library before him.

"Woah, what's that?" Faith asked.

"Portal." Buffy replied, shocked at having seen Xander open it. She knew intellectually what he'd become, but she was still having a hard time relating it to her once missing friend.

"Uh, where's it go?" Faith asked, standing up to look at it carefully, noting how it seemed to vanish when seen edge on.

Buffy looked over at her friend and asked, "Torronto?"

Xander met her gaze and nodded with a lopsided grin.

Suddenly something Xander had said clicked, and she said, "Ooh!"

Faith turned to look at her in puzzlement.

"I know what Xander meant now about killing the neighbors. They're Vamps." Buffy explained.

Faith's eyes widened and she took a step back from the disk in response. "What?"

"No, it's Ok, I think. They're not like here. Like totally different vampires. They're, not evil?" Buffy tried to explain.

"A vamp's a vamp. Only good ones are dusty." Faith declared.

"I don't think they dust." Buffy said. "I mean, if you stake them. They don't go 'poof' like ours do. Like I said, they're totally different."

Faith was confused, "All vamps dust when you stake 'em. Well, other than Kakistos. I went to stake that bastard and my stake broke."

"No, they're like Xander. Like he was at first. Look, did you ever see a TV show called 'Forever Knight', about a vampire cop?" Buffy tried again while Xander and Cat just shared amused grins.

Faith smirked, "Yeah. That Gerard guy, the one who played the vampire Nick, he was kinda cute. I had a little crush on him back in the day, before I learned the truth about Vampires."

Buffy nodded, "I never watched the show, not before. But yeah. Nick's kinda cute. I met him and Nat after the wedding. See, the thing is, where Xander's apartment is, it's that show."

Now faith was totally lost. "What show?"

"Forever Knight. They live over the Raven." Buffy explained, rolling her eyes.

"You mean the club they used in the show?" Faith asked, "That's kinda cool."

Buffy shook her head, "No, the one ON the show. That old roman guy is their landlord. I think Xander and Cat work in the club too. And like I said, I met Nick and his girlfriend at Xander's wedding. Those are the vampires I'm talking about."

"The ones on TV?" Faith asked, not sure she understood. Looking at the smirking Xander and Cat she asked, "Is she joshing me, you guys live in a TV show?"

Xander shook his head, "Not exactly. It's not a TV show, not there. There it's all real. Here, it's a TV show. But the TV show is about them, although they aren't exactly like the show, for example, since the wedding at least, Tracy knows Nick's a vampire. She never found that out on the show. But yeah, those are the neighbors you can't kill. No staking the Landlord, or any of the customers from the club. At least not unless they attack you, ok? If they make a move, then all bets are off. But try and keep a low profile."

Faith shrugged and said, "Ok, I guess."

Cat smiled and led the way, walking through the portal and vanishing into the shimmering surface. Faith gave Buffy a last glance, then followed the short blonde.

Xander smiled one last time at Buffy, reached out and gave her a tight hug, whispering "It's good to be back. Tell Wills I'll see her tomorrow, ok?"

Buffy nodded, squeezing him back with full Slayer Strength, feeling his ribs compress, but not break, then she let him go, and with a final wave, he stepped through the disk and vanished. A moment later the disk collapsed, leaving the room darker by its absence.

Elsewhere...

"Brother?" the ethereal female Oracle asked.

"Yes, Sister, what is it?" her brother replied, not really caring why she was interrupting him this time, just silently wishing she wouldn't. What he was working on, trying to plot a way to get Angel out of Sunnydale and back to Los Angeles so he could follow the Shanshu prophecy, and they could get their long-term plans back on track.

"I, I can't see anything in Sunnydale. Not for several hours. And I can't find the Slayer anywhere." His sister said, concerned.

"Don't be ridiculous" her brother admonished, setting his task of probing potential futures aside for a moment and turning his attention to the Hellmouth. Then, had he had a heart, it would have skipped a beat. She was right.

Starting several hours earlier, the area around the Hellmouth suddenly became, opaque was the only way to describe it. He couldn't look at its present. He couldn't look at its futures, and he couldn't look at its near past. This was unprecedented. Impossible even. Time was the domain of himself and his sister. They could see the past, the present, and the futures with ease. They could even roll the present back into the past with a bit of effort, to force a different path towards the futures. They were among the most powerful of the Powers that Be, and as such were amongst the leaders. Nothing could stand against their will, and yet, Sunnydale was opaque. Sunnydale, where the Slayer, the Pretender, and the Ensouled Vampire were all located, may as well not exist according to their powers. "Get me Skip or Whistler." He ordered.

LaCroix looked up as he felt the presence in the apartment upstairs.

It had been several weeks since Alexander and Cat had vanished on their honeymoon. He hadn't been overly worried at first, after all he understood there were ways they could have left the hotel room other than through the door, and he knew perfectly well that replacing clothes wouldn't be an issue for Cat. Since no mention of Alexander's sword being left behind was made, and there was no actual damage to the hotel room, LaCroix assumed they had merely left unobserved for some reason, and hadn't bothered to return.

But as the weeks rolled by, his concern grew. While he had only known the young couple for a few all too brief days, they had grown on him to an annoying degree. He actually found in retrospect that he looked upon young Alexander as he would a Childe, no, more than that, more like a flesh and blood child of his own. The actual Son he never had. The fact that he could see parts of himself at times in the young man's personality, and he knew the boy's mind held a copy of his own had caused him to open his heart to the child in a way he never had before, not even with Nichola.

And as for his bride, Cat, he had liked her from the start for some reason. And it had been truly interesting dealing with the details for the wedding, especially when her mother, Bast had become involved right at the end and changed everything.

He had finally made an effort to contact Bast, and she had come at his behest, after explaining his concerns she had departed for a bit, then returned to explain to him that the children were fine, they had simply ended up elsewhere, and time was not parallel there, so she couldn't say when they would return, but was certain tat sooner or later they would.

Once assured, he had stopped actually worrying about them. Nichola had agreed with the Las Vegas police to keep an eye open for them, as the legend of the Missing Honeymooners had already become well established in as Vegas. Apparently when the couple wouldn't respond to the repeated knocks on the door and calls on the phone as the Bell Service tried to deliver their luggage from the plane, they had finally had Security open the door. Inside the room they found an unmade bed, and two piles of clothes, one of which included all of Xander's identification. Security had checked the cameras from the hallway and had insisted that the couple had entered the room, and had never left. No camera, and they checked them all over the following days, showed even a glimpse of the couple after they had gone into their room early that morning. The inaugural Honeymoon couple had checked in, gone to their room, and vanished without a trace from a locked room, leaving even their clothes behind. It was certain to be a story retold several times over the coming years.

But now, based on the surge of power he had just felt from upstairs, it looked like they were back. He hoped.

LaCroix swiftly made his way out of the club and around to the inside stairs. He had to see for himself.

Faith felt a weird tingle throughout her body as she exited the portal following Cat.

She found herself in the living room of a small two bedroom apartment, the nearby bar and table both covered with literally piles of odd items. But the thing which immediately drew her attention was the head. There was an honest to goodness head in a glass box sitting on the breakfast bar, and while it wasn't making a sound, it was apparently shouting at them.

Following her gaze, Cat grinned, "Oh, don't mind him, he's just mad."

"Who, or what is it?" Faith asked, feeling a strong desire to stake whatever it was.

"That's Lucifer, better known as Satan or the Devil. He and Xander got into an argument, and he sort of lost his head, so we kept it." Cat explained.

Faith walked closer to the box and peered inside, meeting the eyes of the head which was now quietly looking back at her. "So, does that mean that the rest of him is running around without a head?" she asked.

Cat shook her head as Xander came through the portal and it closed behind him, leaving the room in darkness while Cat reached out and flipped a light switch. "No, he made a whole new body, so really this is just an extra head. He doesn't need it, and well, I thought it was kinda funny to keep it around."

Faith looked into the eyes of the Devil, meeting his gaze as she asked, "So, is he aware of what goes on here then?"

Xander answered, "Yeah. I mean, it is his head. Or one of them at least. From what I can tell, he knows whatever he knows wherever his head or heads may be. Cat made the box soundproof, but only one way. While we can't hear him, he can hear whatever we say, so you should keep in mind that anything you say will be head by the Devil. But that's always true, no matter where you are, if for whatever reason he may be paying attention to you. At least here you know for sure he's listening."

Faith suddenly whirled to twards the door of the apartment as a knock sounded from beyond it. "There's something out there." She cautioned.

Xander nodded, and walked over to the door and opened it, reviealing the smiling face of Lucien LaCroix.

"Woah" Faith muttered mostly to herself, "He looks just like the old guy from that TV show."

"Alexander, my dear Cat,." LaCroix greeted as he stepped across the threshold into the room, closing the door behind himself. "welcome back."

Moving his gaze to rest on Faith, he asked, "And who, if I may inquire, is this lovely young lady?"

"Lucien LaCroix, may I introduce to Faith Lehane, Vampire Slayer." Xander said with a flourish inspired by LaCroix's manners.

LaCroix didn't even blink an eye as he bowed slightly before her and said, "Charmed, I'm sure."

Returning his gaze to Xander he asked, "I trust your Honeymoon went well?"

Xander grinned sheepishly as he responded, "Well, uh, about that."

"The Las Vegas police are quite concerned, you know. It seems a pair of honeymooners vanished from a locked suite on their wedding night, leaving only their clothes behind. They have been searching for any clues as to what may have happened to them, but are quite baffled by the circumstances of the, disappearance. They have yet to rule out foul play."

"Yeah, well, I uh, sorta-turned-into-a-cat." Xander babbled.

LaCroix blinked at that, then turned to Cat and enquired, "A Cat? I thought that was your peculiarity?"

Cat grinned, "It was. But it seems that we're not just soul mates anymore, we somehow merged and now we're literally the same being, on some levels."

"And this caused Alexander to become a cat?" LaCroix asked, amused.

Xander shrugged, "Yeah. I became a cat. Opened a portal. Showed up on the other side in my underware. Had to fight evil, meet the Creator, fight more evil, and find my way home. Now, we're back, with a guest for the night. By the way, how long has it been here, for us it's been about four days, but for the folks in Sunnydale it'd been more like a month,"

LaCroix smiled at the obviously avoided story as he replied, "It has been about three weeks here. I've been hoping you would return and resume your shift at work. Wile the recent surge of clients looking for you has faded, there are still several inquiries each night about when you, and surprisingly your charming wife will return to work."

Xander glanced over at the clock in the kitchen, and noting that it was just seven in the evening, replied, I suppose I could work tonight. Let me get Faith settled, then get changed and I'll be down in a bit."

"Very good. I will see you shortly then. I shall inform Miklos of your return.", glancing back at the other two ha offered a slight bow, "Ladies." he said, then headed out the door.

"Wow." Faith said. "He looked just like the guy from TV. Sounded like him too. You guys weren't kidding, were you?"

Cat just grinned, and said, "Come on, let me show you your room, then if you want we'll get you something to wear in case you want to come downstairs while Xander and I are working."

Faith stopped and looked over at her, confused, "I could do that? I thought it was a night club, would they let me in?"

Cat shrugged, "I could give you an ID. As long as you don't go around trying to kill the clients, I doubt if Lucien would mind."

"Wicked." Faith said as she followed Cat into the second bedroom.

Xander on the other hand made his way into his and Cat's room, where he opened the huge closet like piece of furniture Cat had made for him, and looked over the selection of clothes inside, trying to decide what would be appropriate for the evening. It was only as he was reaching towards a solid navy blue silk shirt that he realized he was being silly, and closing his eyes, simply replaced his clothes with the ones he had selected. He shook his head at himself as he looked over all the items in the cupboards he really didn't need anymore. This was going to take more than a little getting used to, he decided.

Faith was kicking it in the leather outfit Cat had made for her.

She had taken over a booth near the center of the room, where she could easily watch both Xander at the bar, and Cat as she made her way amongst the tables, taking orders and serving drinks to the clientele. What really amazed her was that she could feel all the vampires in the club, not just like she sensed the Vamps back home, but in a totally different way. She could feel their strengths, which varied from vampire to vampire she had swiftly found. But more, she could sense, not exactly their intensions, but perhaps their personalities. Somehow through her Slayer Senses she knew instinctively which could be trusted, and which could not. Which ones were killers, and which ones tried to avoid killing.

It had taken it a while for her to figure it out, but she'd decided that part of the differences were how old the Vampires were, but there was more to it than just that.

But all these new, she could almost call them colors, or flavors, these Vampires displayed to her Slayer senses were really cool. It was like suddenly finding an old TV show being broadcast in color after always having seen it in Black and White. She wondered why the demons back home didn't show as much variation as these did here. But whatever the reason for it, it was cool. Especially watching as they interacted.

"Aren't you a little young to be all alone in a place like this?" a soft male voice with a faint Spanish accent asked from just beside her.

Faith jumped, not having seen the vampire approach, and she frowned a bit as she turned her gaze on him and took him in.

He was old, not as old as some of the Vampires in this place, but far older than most of them. He was one of the ones who could be trusted, and felt like one of those that seemed to try and avoid killing. And more interesting, he had a different, color, she supposed to his vampireness. Unique amongst all the vampires she had seen so far, other than the other blonde waitress, who she thought was named Urs.

Noting her frown, ha offered a slight bow to her, "My apologies. I am Javier Vachon."

"Faith." She said in reply, smiling slightly at his manners. "Go ahead, take a load off." She said, gesturing at the far side of her booth.

Vachon looked around for a moment, then slipped into the booth opposite her, and looked into her eyes. "You really shouldn't be here, you know." He said, his voice taking on a slow, almost hypnotic tone to it, "It isn't safe. You should go home and not return."

Faith shrugged at him, not even noticing his attempt at influence as she replied, "Yeah, well, nowhere's really safe, is it? Besides, I can take care of myself."

Javier blinked. Just what he needed, the girl was a resistor. "Yeah, well, some places are a lot less safe than others, and this is one of them." He tried reasoning. "Lots of bad things can happen to young girls if they are alone here."

"You trying to pick me up, or scare me away from the nasty Vampires, Mr. Vachon?" Faith asked with a smirk.

Javier sighed. He should have expected that a resistor in here might be aware of what was going on. But that just made the situation even more dangerous for her, if any Enforcers wandered by. Not that many had frequented the Raven in the past month, ever since Xander had dealt with them so humiliatingly that one night. "So if you know about the danger, why are you here?" he asked.

Faith shrugged, "I'm just chilling, waiting for my friends to get done. I'm not sleepy, and I've got nothing better to do. How about you?"

Javier sighed, "I am here to play. I'm a part of the house band."

Faith just smirked at him, "Cool. One of my friends back in Sunny-D is in a band, 'Dingos Ate My Baby', a guy named Oz. He plays the guitar. What about you?"

Javier blinked, he had no idea where this Sunny-D was, but he replied, "That's what I play as well."

"Wicked. Maybe some time we could get you two together. A band with a Werewolf and a Vampire in it, would be cool, we'd just need a Frankenstein and a Mummy with maybe a Witch to round out the set. Like a Village People, only supernatural. I wonder if Amy or Willow are any good at singing?" Faith mused aloud.

Javier narrowed his gaze on her, "How do you know I'm a Vampire?" he asked quietly, so as to not draw attention. Despite the music and background noise, there were several pairs of ears more than close enough to follow the entire conversation, if their interest were piqued somehow.

Faith just shrugged, "Part of the job description. By the way, what's different about you from all the rest? Your not quite the same as any of the others, except perhaps Urs."

Javier looked at her in confusion, "What kind of job? And what do you mean different?"

Faith shrugged, "I'm the Slayer. And your flavor or color or whatever, the thing about you which marks you as a vampire is different. Kina like the fat guy over there, but he's more like the others than you are."

Javier followed her gesture and noted a familiar face watching them intently. Apparently at least one pair of ears had had their attention piqued, and worse, despite his previous thoughts, the man she'd indicated was an Enforcer. However it was the first part of what she said that drew his attention, "Slayer? That's a myth, a legend told to fledglings to scare them into following their Sire's instructions. There is no such thing as a human who is stronger, faster, and has better senses than a vampire. And while some humans, such as yourself can resist the compulsions from most vampires, there isn't such a thing as a human who can turn the compulsion against a vampire, or strip them of their powers."

Faith smirked, "I don't know about stripping, but I can kick anyone's ass. Demon, Vamp, you name it, I'll kill it. What's this compulsion thing though, is that like the Jedi Mind Trick Xander does?"

Javier lost his train of thought for a moment before asking "You know Xander?"

"The God behind the bar serving drinks to the vampires? Yeah. I'm crashing with him and Cat, the blond goddess waiting tables over there." Faith replied with another smirk.

"So, Xander is really a God? He had denied it, to some extent, although there were rumors. How well do you know him? Javier asked, forgetting about the Slayer issue for a moment.

Faith shrugged, "I know his friends from Sunny-D, where he grew up. Him I just met tonight. But he seems like a stand-up kinda guy. I trust him, and there aren't a whole lot of people I would say that about." She narrowed her gaze on him and asked in a somewhat less friendly tone, "Why do you ask?"

Javier found himself answering before he had though about it, "Because I'm worried about my friends. He's an unknown element, and I was worried he may be dangerous."

Realizing he had just spoken without even intending to do so, he tried to shift the conversation back to an earlier topic. "So what about myself and the man you pointed out that's different from the others, exactly?"

Faith frowned, then looked again at the fat Enforcer "Him, he's old. He's slimy, and he's stronger than the others who seem about the same age. You, you're old as well. You don't seem dangerous or slimy, and also are a lot stronger than you should be for your age. Also, you don't have the same feel as any of the others. He does. But while he's a different shade, you're almost a different color. More pure, somehow."

Javier wasn't sure what to make of that. Although he remembered her mentioning his Childe, Urs as being the same. "It may be my Sire. She was a South American vampire, while all the others are descended from European vampires, I think. I wasn't aware that there was that great a difference though." he said, deliberately not mentioning his and his Childe's apparent immunity to holy items, as that was a closely guarded secret.

"Yeah, well what about the fat guy?" she asked, "Any idea why he'd be different as well, though not in the same way?"

Javier sighed, "Possibly. He is what is known as an Enforcer. The real boogiemen for Vampires, unlike the mythical Slayer. Enforcers are responsible for preventing mortals from learning about vampires. They are supposed to either erase the memories of mortals who find out, or failing that, kill them. They also tend to kill the ones responsible for the discovery. And considering the way he's been watching us at least ever since you pointed him out to me, means he's planning on taking care of you."

Faith grinned at him then met the steady gaze of the fat enforcer in question before ignoring him and looking back at Javier. "Well, I don't do fat vampires. So he'll have to go elsewhere to get his jollies tonight."

Javier took a breath before he replied, "You don't have a clue how dangerous this is, do you?"

Faith shrugged, "Look if he tries anything, I'll kick his ass. If for some reason I can't, or he has too many friends for me to deal with, I'm sure Cat and Xander will help me kick his ass. From what I've seen there's not much those two couldn't deal with. I saw the X-Man chop the head off a huge ass demon earlier tonight as easy as could be."

Javier flashed back to the encounter between Xander and the Enforcers a month ago and shuddered at the thought of facing Xander if he was mad about something, "I suppose so. But just knowing Xander isn't going to be like some sort of get out of jail free card, you know."

"Never said it was. I can take care of myself." Faith replied.

Javier looked over at the staring Enforcer and shook his head, "I hope so." As he thought about it, the fat vampire hadn't been around when Xander had been here. He idly wondered if the other vampire had any clue what kind of mess he may find himself in if he tangled with the bartender. "Well, I need to go get ready for my set. I'll see you around, ok?"

Faith nodded, "See ya, and don't worry. Like I said, I can take care of myself."

With that Javier rose from the booth, and with one last glance back at the young girl he made his way to the stage to get ready.

Skip shimmered into Sunnydale looking for answers. By the time he'd reported to the Oracles, they were once more able to view Sunnydale. But they could no longer find their Slayer. While that wimp, or was it pimp, Whistler went to check on his pet Vampire, Angelus, Skip was assigned to find out what had blocked the Oracles from the area, and more importantly, what had happened to their Slayer.

Deciding his best bet for quick information was the local Demon population, Skip sought out the highest concentration of diverse demonic signatures. He ended up at Willies, the local Demon bar.

As he came in he noticed the place was in the middle of some sort of party. "What's going on?" he asked, setting down at the bar.

The mousy human owner looked over at him and gave him a toothy grin, "I'm not sure, something about the Hellmouth. They say it went away earlier tonight, but then came back, possibly even opened once or twice, then settled down just like it normal."

Skip filed that away as possibly valuable. Anything able to block the Oracles from viewing an event had to be pretty strong, stronger than any demon or god he'd ever heard of, other than perhaps an Archangel, one of the Elder Gods, or a top level Demon. Even then he'd never heard of such an effect. Deciding to go right to the heart of the matter, he asked the bartender, "You know anything about the Slayer, where she might be?"

Willie looked him over for a moment, then shrugged, "Depends. Which one you askin' about?"

Skip frowned, "There's only one Slayer. Brunette chick, about fifteen."

Willie nodded, "The new one. Only person I've heard mentioning her was Ronk. Big green guy over there, he was saying something about seeing the Slayer and Harris this evening, which is impossible, since Harris has been gone for months."

"Who's Harris?" Skip asked.

"Some local Hunter. Got juiced up by some God, I think Janus, about a year ago, and spent the next few months killing more demons and vampires than the Slayer. He was messed up with that whole Angelus Kendra thing with Acaltha last summer, and something happened to him. What I heard was he got sucked into a portal straight to Hell, the real one, not just some Hell Dimension. But that's just whet folks said, so don't put too much stock into it." Willie answered.

Heading over to the corner, he approached the large green demon. "Hi. Name's Skip. Mind if I buy you a drink?"

The green behemoth looked over at him and growled, "I bon't swing bat way, fugger."

Skip held up his hands, "Woah there, that's not what I meant at all. I was just being friendly. Look, I heard you may have some info on the Slayer, what happened to her tonight. Would you mind sharing it with me?"

The green demon sneered, "Whots in it bor me?"

Skip looked around, "Well, the folks I work for might be willing to offer a small, very small, mind you, reward if it helps us track her down. So, is there anything you can tell me?"

The green demon shrugged, "I saw her an' Harris. Bhey were walkink bown be street width some blonde. Bhey stobbed to talk bor a bit, bhen bhey went to be high school. Be Hellmouth, I bhink. Bhis wus right before it all went weird for a while."

"You sure it was BEFORE the Hellmouth opened?" Skip asked.

"You bhink I can't feel bhe Hellmouth? Or you bhink I'm too dumb to remember bhe order bhings happen in?" Ronk growled, rising to tower over Skip's large frame.

"Uh, no, just checking. I'd heard Harris was in Hell, so if the Hellmouth opened, he may have come back through it somehow."

Ronk sat down, growling, "No. Bhey neber left bhough. Bhe obber Slayer, and bhe Watcher, and bhe Mayor's flunky, bhey all left. Bhe Blonde, Harris, and bhe Brunette Slayer, bhey were gone after bhe Hellmoth opened. If bhey went bhrough, it was bhe other way." He sat quietly for a moment, then he spoke once more, "Bhree kittens."

Skip was confused, "What?" he asked.

"Bhree kittens. Bhat's what I want from your bosses. Bhen I'll help yhou brak her down."

Skip shook his head, "Ok, I'll let them know. If they agree I'll come back and get you."

Ronk nodded, "Ok. I'll be here bhonight and bomorrow night. After bhat, add another kitten each day."

Skip shrugged, "Will do. And thanks. You sure you don't want that drink?"

Ronk just growled at him so Skip shimmered out, heading back to LA to speak with the Oricals. If Harris, whoever he was had indeed taken their Slayer to Hell, they were not going to be pleased. Not at all.

Faith was enjoying the music. Cat had come by and made her some food. Literally, she'd looked around, then set a big juicy steak on the table in front of Faith from her empty drink tray, saying "I checked with Lucien, and he doesn't mind if I feed you. You want anything to drink, non-alcoholic of course."

Faith shrugged, "Dr. P, if ya got it."

Cat just grinned and set a fizzy soda down next to the steak. "Don't spill it. It'll make a huge mess if you leave it tipped over." she said before walking away.

Faith didn't understand what she was talking about 'till she set the still full glass back down on the table after having sucked enough through the straw to drain at least a third of the glass in a single draught.

"Fucking awesome." She murmured while stirring the ice around in the glass almost an hour later. The ice didn't melt, the carbonation seemed to keep fizzing, and the level never dropped. She really liked hanging with Cat and Xander. And the band wasn't bad either. The blonde vampire waitress, Urs, had joined the others on the small stage and was singing and dancing along with the music. Faith had to admit the chick was good. She knew how to move, and her voice had a sexy, smoky tone to it, like vocal viagra.

It was as the band was going into their last set of the evening, that Faith's pleasant mood was broken by the arrival of an unwanted visitor to her table.

The fat, "Enforcer" vampire slid into the booth opposite her, and just sat there, staring at her.

Finally, turning away from the music she glared at him, "What?"

"Impertinent mortal, aren't you?" he said with a scowl of his own.

"No, just short tempered with rude assholes who invite themselves to my table then just stare at me for no reason. Now, go away, I was listening to the music." she said dismissively.

He shook his head, "I can't. I was listening earlier, and I heard that you know what we are. I even hear the Spaniard tell you of our rules, and my place amongst them, the fool. I'll deal with him later, but first I will take care of his mess."

Faith rolled her eyes and looked back at the overweight vampire. "Look, I couldn't care less about your stupid rules and your supposed place. All I want is to relax and enjoy the music. Then I'll go to sleep, and tomorrow I'll head back to Sunny-D. I promised Cat and X not to kill any of their neighbors, so count yourself lucky and go away. Otherwise I'm going to have to break a promise and I really don't want to do that."

Sighing he looked into her eyes and in a calm, monotone voice said, "You will be silent and come with me."

"Fuck you. I'm not going anywhere." Faith said, probably a little louder then she intended. "If you think I'm going to go anywhere with you, you can just go home and fuck yourself."

Most of the vampires, and several of the nearby patrons turned towards Faith's table at her outburst, and Cat started moving towards Faith's table in case the brunette Slayer needed help of any sort. However she had only taken a few steps before the vampire had risen from the table and started walking almost mechanically towards the door. Deciding that the incident, whatever it was had been resolved, Cat resumed her patrol of the tables.

Javier watched with dismay as the Enforcer seated himself at Faith's table during the last number. But he was shocked enough that he almost missed a chord when after Faith shouted at him the Enforcer stood and moved absentmindedly out the door.

It was all he could do to keep his curiosity in check while the song finished up, and he shut off his Guitar and put it away.

Moving down off the stage, he made his way over to the girl's table. As she looked up at his approach he offered her a soft smile, "Hey."

"Hey." She said back. "Have a seat."

Vachon sank into the booth opposite her, and looked at her face. She had calmed down significantly since her minor outburst during the song, but the stress of the brief altercation still showed in her face.

"Did you like the music?" he asked, trying to set her at ease.

"Yeah, it was five by five. Your group is actually a bit better than the Dingos. Although considering that all of you are at least over a hundred, it's not that surprising that you could be so good with all that practice time." she replied.

Javier shook his head, and asked, "You've got to tell me how a mortal like you knows who is a vampire and how old they are, most of our fledglings can't even do that for several years."

Faith shrugged, "Told you, it's part of the Job Description. You've got to know your enemy to kick their ass."

Javier smiled at that, "Well, I hope I'm not your enemy."

Faith shook her head, "Nah. Once I got my head around the idea that you guys aren't like the vamps back home, it wasn't too hard to suppress the automatic 'it's a vampire, kill it' reflex. Especially since I figured out how to tell which ones of you are killers, and which ones are not. Most of the vamps here are fine, even if I hadn't promised X I'd leave them alone. There's just three or four I've seen who I really want to stake to a cross outside in the middle of a sunny lot some afternoon, then liberally hose down with holy water so they don't catch on fire. The rest of you guys are safe."

Javier shuddered at the mental image then asked, "So what happened to the Enforcer?"

Faith looked towards the front door of the club and shrugged, "I don't really know. He tried to get me to go with him somewhere, and I told him to fuck off, and he left. Didn't seem all that scary to me."

Javier was even more confused now, but let it pass, seeing as Cat was making her way over to the table.

Cat looked speculatively at Javier as she came up and asked Faith, "Faith, is Vachon bothering you?"

Faith grinned back at her and shook her head, "Nah. Just keeping me company 'till I'm ready to crash. By the way, I don't think I told you and X thanks for offering to let me crash at your pad tonight. Not that X gave me much of a choice, but I appreciate it anyhow."

Cat smiled at her and said, "You are very welcome Faith. Don't worry about it. And tomorrow we'll work something more permanent out, ok?"

Faith smothered a yawn as she nodded. "Yeah. Say, you got a key to the door? I think I'm goanna go ahead and crash now, if that's ok."

Cat smiled and held a small keychain with three keys on it to Faith. "Here you go. Silver one is for the outside door, in the alley. The gold one is for our front door. And the whiteish one is for your room. Don't loose that one, it's the only one I made."

Faith took the keys and looked at them for a second, before looking back up at Cat and smiling, "Thanks, Cat." Turning to Javier, she said "Well, I'll be seeing you later. Thanks for the music." and with that she crossed the club and disappeared through the door to the inside stairs.

Cat watched her go then turned towards Vashon. "Do you have any idea what that episode earlier was all about?"

Javier shrugged, "He was an Enforcer. Faith said she told him to leave, and he did."

Cat giggled, "That's not exactly what she told him. But it surprises me that an Enforcer would give up so easily. Unless he realized that Faith was under our protection and backed off."

Javier looked speculatively at the door through which the brunette teenager disappeared. "Well, he might have been confused when his whammy didn't work. She's a powerful resistor, you know."

Cat looked confused for a moment, then her expression hardened. "And just how would you know that?"

Javier shrugged, "I told her this was a dangerous place, and then tried to make her go home and not return. She didn't even notice my effort. I'm generally more successful than most when it comes to compulsion. So if I couldn't even dent her, then an Enforcer probably wouldn't have much luck either, even though they are supposed to be stronger at such things than average. He may have given up to regroup when he tried to compel her and it didn't work, other than to make her mad at him."

Cat shrugged, "I suppose. If it becomes an issue we'll deal with it. Worst case, we let Faith kill him as an object lesson to the others."

Javier blinked at that, then asked, "Let faith kill him? But she's a Mortal. She'd never stand a chance against a normal Vampire, let alone an older Enforcer."

Cat just grinned and Javier made a mental note never to get her mad at him. "Yeah, but Faith's a Slayer. And killing vampires, even powerful ones is what she does."

Javier just looked at her for a moment, then asked, "You mean she was serious? About being a Slayer? I mean, she told me she was a Slayer, but I thought she was joking. Everyone knows that the Slayer is just a myth."

Cat grinned, and replied, "A myth here, perhaps. But Faith, she's not from around here. And yeah, while the Vampires she deals with are different, she's a Chosen Slayer, so pretty much whatever it takes to kick the asses of the local bad guys, she can do. It's part of how they're made."

Javier thought about the myth of the Slayer, then asked, "So she can really cancel a Vampire's powers, just like that?"

Cat shrugged, "I'm not sure what a Slayer can and can't do, exactly. I know they're strong, and fast, and able to use just about any weapon with master level skills even before they start training on it. But as far as mystical abilities, I've never really paid attention."

Javier nodded, then said "Well at least it explains how she was able to pick us out and know who was a vampire and how old we all are and such."

Cat grinned, "Yeah, I think that's a part of the Slayer package, the ability to sense Vampires and other demons. I know that's why she jumped on Xander when we first met her, she sensed his power and decided he was a new bad guy coming to conquer the Hellmouth."

"Hellmouth?" Javier asked.

Cat nodded, "A stable portal to the True Hell, generally kept mostly closed, but always connected for various reasons I learned earlier tonight."

Javier decided he'd had enough for one evening, and so shook his head, saying "Ok, well, I've got to go. Will you and Xander be working tomorrow night?"

Cat shrugged, "I don't know. I think he wants us to go to his school and enroll there. I'm not sure exactly how the time differentials will work out. But probably at one point or another we'll be here, whether we're working or not."

Javier nodded, then said, "Then I'll see you then. Good night, Cat."

"Good night." Cat replied, before resuming her rounds of the tables.

"We shall have to Call a new Slayer." The male declared.

"But isn't that a bit rash, Brother? What if Harris returns her?" the female oracle asked.

"Can you feel her at all? I can't. And even if she WERE in Hell, we should be able to detect one of our Champions." He replied. "I had hoped we'd been done with Xander Harris once we sent him to Hell. But apparently even that wasn't enough to keep him from messing with our plans. Have you noticed that almost EVERY destiny in Sunnydale is now in chaos? Somehow while he was blanking our observations out he managed to twist the futures of that entire town. Such a thing shouldn't even be possible. No, we need a new Slayer, and we need one now. And we need to be ready to send her and every other agent we can muster after Harris in case he comes back again."

The female nodded. "I suppose you are right. We can't abide by his interference. Especially if over his sojourn in Hell his influence has grown so great. Eliminating him must be made a top priority, should he return from Hell again."

The male agreed, and so the call was sent out to gather their Agents and any Champions for the Powers. One of them they knew, Angel, was already in place in Sunnydale, and according to Whistler hadn't heard a thing of Harris's return. The male Oracle idly wondered if their retrieving of Angel had somehow also freed Harris from Hell. While there were many ways out of Hell for those with enough power, Harris didn't have anywhere near enough power to shimmer, orb, or teleport. Which meant someone had to open a portal for him, or he had to have gotten from Hell to a Hell Dimension, and somehow from there back to Sunnydale, like they had done with the Vampire. It was possible that Harris had followed their Champion and his guides somehow. But why he would then kidnap their Slayer and then return to Hell voluntarily he could not imagine. It was likely that the Slayer had attacked him, but his taking her with him, or returning to Hell voluntarily, these made no sense at all. Neither did whatever he did to obscure his actions from the Powers. That should not be possible either, knowing of events was the greatest strength he and his sister shared.

Since they were directly descended from a child of an Elder God, they were both quite powerful when it came to dealing with events, be they past, present, or future. And they were amongst the few deities able to manipulate time, when working together they could even roll it back, resetting events to an earlier point.

But even their attempt to roll back events in Sunnydale had failed. They could neither see what had happened, nor could they make it unhappen. And this was entirely unacceptable. Since they had formed the conglomeration of deities known collectively as The Powers That Be, their will had been almost unchallenged. Indeed, the first time in recent history that their plans had gone awry was when Harris had somehow revived the ex-Slayer after she had died according to plan.

How that had happened even they hadn't figured out. Granted, they hadn't had any specific plan in place for him, but there shouldn't have been any need for one either, seeing as how he was a normal powerless human at that point in time. His actions that evening should have had no effect whatsoever on the greater skein of time. But somehow he managed to get their future Champion, Angel, to leave his apartment where he was supposed to be mourning his loss of the Slayer, and forced the vampire to take him into the tunnels where he somehow revived the dead girl.

It had taken them over a year to get things almost back on track after that single event. Granted, after Janus chose the foolish Human as his Champion last October, things in Sunnydale had gone completely off track again, and they had had no luck in regaining control until they managed to arrange events so that Harris ended up being sent to Hell, unfortunately along with their future Champion as well, but that was an acceptable temporary loss.

But now, almost six months later, Harris had somehow returned from Hell, and in only a few hours had managed to throw the destinies of the entire town so far off track once more that in many cases their fates seemed to be entirely undeterminable, and that included that of their future Champion. And such interference was as unacceptable as it was inconceivable. So Harris would have to be destroyed. They had agreed on that a year ago, and recent events showed that if anything, he was even more of a danger to their carefully structured plans than he was before.

Xander and Cat had been considering what to do about Faith all evening. Even as Xander worked the bar, mixing and delivering drinks to the vampire, and occasional human customers, and Cat had been circulating amongst the tables, taking orders and delivering drinks, the two had been involved in an almost continuous mental conversation about how they could best help the young girl they had met earlier that night.

Cat had swiftly developed a soft spot for the child, and Xander, still feeling faint echoes of his one time crush on Buffy, combined with the never-lost guilt for his part in Kendra's Turning, felt an almost compulsive need to protect and help the Slayer. When his feelings were combined with Cats, the result was an almost parental desire to take care of and protect the brash young girl.

So it was that by the end of the evening, they had formulated a plan, one whereby they could offer the support, protection, and guidance the child would need if she were to survive her situation and become the successful adult they both saw she could grow into, given half a chance.

Faith awoke to the smell of food.

She lay in the comfortable, soft, warm, yet unfamiliar bed in the dark, windowless room for several minutes, trying to recall where she was. The first thing she noticed was that she felt safe. And that was a feeling she couldn't remember having since she was very young. She could hear soft, domestic voices filtering through the walls of her room, the quiet conversation of a pair of voices, one male and the other female, both speaking quietly, likely to avoid waking her.

But it hadn't been the voices which had dragged her out of her pleasant slumber, it had been the smell of coffee, eggs, and bacon which had done it.

Throwing the blankets off her, her slayer enhanced eyesight had no problem making out the layout of the room from just the faint light filtering in beneath and around the closed door. She sat up on the bed and reached out to the lamp shape sitting on the table beside it, fumbling along it's base and side until she found the twist-switch near the top and turned it, closing her eyes against the instant blaze of light initiated by the soft click of the switch.

Opening her eyes once again, slowly so they could adjust to the new levels of illumination, Faith took in the soft off white walls, the basic wooden furniture, and the pile of clean clothes on the corner of the dresser close to the door. She also noted the pile of discarded clothes strewn on the floor along a path from it to her bed. As she looked down at herself and took in the single oversized white T-Shirt she was wearing, she shrugged, then stood up, her bare feet pressing a pair of leather pants into the cream colored shag carpet of the room beneath her as she did so.

Walking blearily towards the door, she reached out and gently turned the knob, finding it unlocked. As quietly as she could, she pulled the door inwards, opening it to reveal a short hallway, a bathroom to her left, and a closed door to her right. At the end of the hallway she could make out a living room, and it was from beyond that, somewhere to the right based on the voices, that the smells of food were emanating.

However, a greater demand than hunger made itself known from the region of her bladder, so gathering the clean pile of clothes off the dresser beside her, she exited the room and made her way into the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind herself, even as she reached out to turn on the lights.

Faith looked at her sleep bedraggled form in the bathroom mirror over the sink, taking in her tangled hair and smeared face, apparently she'd been too tired last night to do more than strip down and throw on the T-Shirt before falling into the bed.

Pulling the t-shirt off over hear head, she lifted the lid and sat on the toilet, relieved herself, then stepped into the shower.

As the warm, needle sharp spray played over her body, she idly reviewed events of the previous day. Waking up in the crappy hotel, a quick rinse under the sputtering spray of lukewarm water she had been able to coax out of the shower, then dressing in her least grungy clothes, reminding herself again that she needed to get some cash somehow so she could do some laundry. She needed to remember to mug some of the Vamps before dusting their worthless asses that evening.

What money she did have she traded for some watered down coffee and a bland, if filling late morning breakfast at the greasy spoon down the street from the motel, before making her way over to the library to do some reading.

She wouldn't let any of B's fan club catch her at it, but she'd always enjoyed reading. Especially historical dramas, and travelogues. She spent most of the afternoon reading before sneaking back out a bit before 3 to head over to the School and kick it with B and her gang.

As the sun had sunk in the west, she'd made her excuses and headed out for an early patrol, where she managed to mug three Vamps, earning almost eighty bucks before she came across the X-man and his wife.

The events after that, talking to them about shit she never told anyone, pranking B and Jeeves, watching as X used that wicked cool blade to kick demon ass while Cat opened the freaking Hellmouth, or rather rebuilt the freaking Hellmouth while a genuine God watched them, then coming here, to a fucking TV show where she had a killer steak dinner, got to chill to some cool tunes played by a vampire band, then after the one down spot, dealing with that slimy informer vampire, calling it an evening and coming back up to the apartment and crashing.

Fully awake and now up to speed, she climbed out of the shower, dried off, and dressed in the new, clean clothes Cat had literally plucked out of thin air for her the night before, one of two sets she'd offered the Slayer as a change if she wanted to spiff up before hanging in the club downstairs. Cat was so cool. She kinda thought X-man was as well, but she still didn't trust him 100, after all, he was a man, and that meant he really only wanted one thing in Faith's experience. And once they got that, they couldn't give a shit about you.

Faith shut the lights off in the bathroom as she exited it, leaving the door open behind herself, and tossing the t-shirt through the door onto the floor of the room she'd crashed in the night before, making a mental note to clean it up right after breakfast.

Xander looked up as Faith wandered into the kitchen, glancing over at the veritable buffet of food he and Cat had both cooked from scratch, Cat watching Xander as he did so, and conjured up to fill in vacancies for things they lacked, having been gone for several weeks and not having had a chance to restock their fridge since their return. Xander still wasn't sure if it was morally right to magically whip things up instead of buying them like everyone else had to, but he'd agreed with Cat's recent compromise, buying what one could, then only resorting to the mojo to fill in the gaps, or for things you needed but just couldn't get at the moment, or otherwise couldn't afford. He'd really liked that car she'd made for him, so how could he complain.

"Good morning, Faith." he said as the Slayer wandered into the room, eyes wide open as she took in the stacks of pancakes, piles of eggs, bacon, sliced ham, and pictures of Milk, Coffee, and Orange Juice. "We made you some breakfast."

"Actually, Xander made it. I just watched. He cooked most of it himself. I get to try tomorrow." Cat interjected with a smile at her husband.

Faith just nodded, then said, "Damn X. Where'd you get all this?"

Xander gave her a lopsided grin as he shrugged and replied, "Well, some of it was in the cupboards, like the Pancake mix, and the cereal. Since Cat's cooking tomorrow, you might want to save that for then. The juice we had in the freezer, and the rest, Cat made me whip up for practice."

Faith looked at him confused, then she grinned and nodded, "Like the table and chairs last night in the Library, or the Steak and soda Cat gave me for dinner last night?"

Xander nodded, "Yeah, but no bottomless beverages today. I understood why Cat zapped that up for you last night, but in retrospect it probably wasn't the best idea. I told her next time to make you a sipper type cup, with a lid and a straw. That way it doesn't end up in the kitchen causing confusion as they try to dump it down the sink and it just keeps pouring until the dishwasher panics and drops the glass, shattering it in the sink."

Faith had a mental image of someone trying to pour out the endless soda Cat had whipped up for her the night before, and almost broke out in laughter at the thought. She managed to hold it down to just a smile though, as she picked up a plate and started piling it with portions of the various foods on the table, finishing by grabbing the pitcher of milk and filling a large glass. She carried the plate over to the now clear bar which sat between the kitchen and the living room, and settled herself on one of the barstools before happily digging in to the meal.

She was so busy scarfing down the grub that she didn't notice how Xander and Cat exchanged another glance at her actions, Xander nodding slowly while Cat smiled with a determined glint in her eyes behind him.

Angel heard the sound upstairs as someone stepped onto the porch of the Mansion.

It was shortly after sunrise, and he had retreated to the safety of the basement to avoid the danger of the sun's rays. But if his sanctuary was to be disturbed, he preferred to meet his intruder or intruders head on, rather than cower in the dark like some sort of human cockroach.

Stealthily he made his way up the stairs, opening the basement door and peering out at the hallway leading towards the front.

None of the morning light was coming in at an angle where it would catch him in the hall, so he emerged from the darkened doorway and crept towards his now open front door.

Arriving at the end of the hall, he looked towards the figure standing just inside the entryway, looking wordily around. As he identified her, his heart released the worry it had held since Whistler's second visit the night before, and he dashed across the room to gather the girl in a tight hug, irregardless of the danger posed by the light flooding into the room from the various ill-covered windows.

"Bufy! You're all right! I was so worried" he called out as he lifted the small slayer off the ground in a tight hug.

"As he set her back down she looked up at him in confusion. "Why wouldn't I be?" she asked.

"Whistler. Last night, he came by. He told me that Harris had returned, that he'd kidnapped the Slayer and taken her to Hell." Angel explained.

"Toronto's not that bad. I mean, sure it's full of super-powerful vampires you aren't allowed to stake, and he has the creepy devil head always yelling at you from inside that box, but I wouldn't call it Hell." Buffy replied, confusion evident on her face.

"Toronto?" Angel asked, having gotten lost himself, something which happened to him quite often when talking to Buffy or many of her friends.

"Yes, where Cat and Xander took Faith last night after they rebuilt the Hellmouth." Buffy explained.

"Rebuilt the Hellmouth? Why would they rebuild the Hellmouth? Why would they have to rebuild the Hellmouth?" Angel asked, his confusion only growing,. "And who is Cat?"

Buffy rolled her eyes as she looked at her boyfriend. Some times she wondered why she liked him. Sure, he had that dangerously attractive thing going, but he seemed so dense at times. "Cat closed the Hellmouth. Then Xander yelled at her, and then her Dad, Janus came and told her to put it back, otherwise Hell would break through at random and there would be no way to stop an invasion. So she and Xander fixed it, replaced the furniture that went to Hell, and then took Faith to Toronto. Did you know she was living in that skanky motel just off the highway? The one with all the hookers? Or that she's just fifteen? I mean, I thought she was at least as old as I am, but no. She's almost three years younger. And she was living with a bunch of hookers. I felt so ashamed of myself when Xander yelled at me about letting her stay there. Because I hadn't even thought about it."

"So faith was staying at the Motor Lodge, that's not that bad. And you didn't know, so why feel guilty about it? But Buffy, you didn't tell me who Cat is, and how did Xander get back, and did you know that he did something to block the Powers That Be, so they couldn't even see what was happening here?" Angel asked again.

Buffy sighed. "Cat is Xander's wife. She's some sort of Egyptian goddess, her mother is the cat goddess Best, and her father is Janus. As for how he got back, he got out of Hell a while ago, we all went to his wedding in Toronto about a month before you got out of Hell. And are you sure it was him blocking the Powers That Be?"

Angel shrugged. "Not sure. But that's what Whistler told me. He said that if I saw him I should do whatever it took to stop him, that he was dangerous, that he'd somehow messed up every destiny in Sunnydale last night. They also told me that he'd kidnapped the Slayer and opened the Hellmouth and taken her somewhere that they couldn't find her, that they suspected he'd taken he back to Hell with him for some reason. I was so worried he'd gotten you too."

Buffy shook her head, "No. Cat and Xander took Faith to Toronto. They'll be back today to register for School. And Faith wasn't kidnapped, she went voluntarily, although Xander did tell her she wasn't spending another night at that motel. But he gave her the option of staying with either myself or Giles, or crashing at his place, and she chose his place."

Angel was really confused. He had two totally different stories, one from Whistler, who he trusted, and the other from Buffy, who he also trusted. Of the two, Buffy seemed to know more about what actually happened, but Whistler was an agent for the Powers That Be, the ones who had offered him a shot at genuine redemption if he would agree to become their Champion. Also the ones who generally knew everything that was going on, often years before it ever happened. But from what Buffy was saying, she was actually there. But if Faith was just in Toronto, wait. "Buffy, how did they get to Toronto?"

Buffy sighed, "Xander opened a portal. The same way Giles, Willow, and everyone else, including myself got there. Although that wasn't Xander who opened that portal, that had been the Snyder Demon, Moms or something like that."

Angel ran his hand through his hair as he tried to follow Buffy's logic, "A Demon opened a portal to Toronto?"

Buffy shook her head, "No, I told you, he was some god named Moms or something like that. Best's son. The one who was straight."

"Straight?" Angel asked, regretting it even as the syllable left his mouth.

Buffy nodded, "Yeah, we met her other son, the one who's only Cat's half-brother, at the wedding, he gave us a fruit drink, Amnesia I think he called it, if I remember right. It tasted funny. Anyhow, they said he was the god of perfume."

Angel was now totally lost, so he just gave up. "So, why are you here?" he asked.

Buffy shrugged, "I just, wanted to see you before I went to school. Make sure you were ok, that no one had seen you. Xander knows you are back, and he told me I should let the rest of the gang know before they find out on their own. I just wanted to tell you I was going to tell them today at school. Get everyone together and let them all know at once."

Angel nodded, "I suppose that is a good idea. Especially considering all the trouble I was causing just before I went away." Thinking about that brought up another idea, so he asked, "Buffy, are you sure it was really Xander you saw last night, and not some demon pretending to be him?"

Buffy nodded, "Yeah, I'm sure. I hugged him and felt his heart beat. I smacked him, and I saw his smile. Besides, only Xander would wear a moving Hawaiian shirt."

Angel didn't understand that last bit, but he believed Buffy was sure of her friend's identity, "And he didn't open the Hellmouth?"

Buffy shook her head. "Nope. He did chop a head off that monster though, the one that always seems to poke its heads through whenever the Hellmouth is opened. Chiapet."

"Tiamat?" Angel asked. At Buffy's nod he considered. "Well I suppose Whistler's people got things wrong somehow then. He did say that the Oracles had been blocked, so they had to rely on second hand information. I won't worry about it for now." He looked at his watch and cringed, noting the time, "You should get going, you don't want to be late for school."

Buffy nodded and gave him a quick kiss before heading towards the front door.

Angel barely ducked around the corner in time to avoid getting burned as she opened the door and headed back out into the sunlight. He looked carefully around the corner admiring the golden gleam of the light in her hair. The light he could never join her in, and he once more considered his agreement to go to Los Angeles and become a Champion for the Powers That Be. It would be the best thing for everyone. He could seek his redemption, and Buffy could find someone else. Someone who could stand beside her looking at the sun.

He decided to let Whistler know of his decision the next time he returned. Leaving Buffy would hurt, but in the long run it would be better for both of them.

It was only as she finished off literally the last of the food that Faith noticed the strange way both Xander and Cat were looking at her, both with faint smiles of satisfaction on their faces.

"What?" she asked, "I was hungry."

Xander just offered her a grin, then exchanged a glance with his wife, who nodded slightly, before asking, "Faith, how'd you like to stay with us permanently?"

Faith suddenly felt the previously warm, filing breakfast turn to clammy lumpy clay in her stomach. She should have known better than to relax. She knew there was always a price. She thought back over her last few months, ever since Linda'd, no, she wasn't going to think about that right now, but ever since then, she'd been on her own again. She'd been able to take care of herself, more or less. She had gotten food, maybe not good food, but food. And she'd scored enough cash to be able to afford a room somewhere almost every night. Granted mostly in dives, but still, better than sleeping on the streets. Last night was the first time she could remember since Linda that she'd been in a comfortable bed. And this morning was the first morning, again, since Linda, that she'd woken up happy, and had a GOOD breakfast.

Faith took a deep breath and met Xander's eyes. "What's the catch?"

Xander grinned happily and shrugged, "At least D's, But I hope for some A's and B's as well, I think you can pull it off, despite taking the time for Slaying."

Faith was totally lost. She looked over at Cat's apparently hopeful smile and articulately asked, "Huh?"

Cat giggled and shook her head, "School. If you're going to stay here, you need to go back to school, I mean, if I have to go, then so do you, it's only fair. And if you are going to go, we want you to at least pass every class. If you get all A's and B's we'll celebrate appropriately, but at a minimum, you will need to at least pass. If you are willing to do that, we'll make it official, set up some appropriate identities today while we're in Sunnydale, and adopt you."

Faith frowned, "Heh, you guys aren't old enough to adopt anyone, like you said, X's still in school."

Xander shrugged, "I am, it's true. But I'm older than I look, and remember, I have all those memories of that really old version of me in my head as well. Cat, well, she's even older than my memories, so I think we can provide a stable environment for you. If you're willing."

Faith looked suspiciously at him. Cat she could almost trust, but she knew about guys, and knew that at their core, they only wanted one thing, and once they got that they didn't give a crap about you anymore. She'd learned that lesson a long time ago, the night her stepfather had touched her more than he had before, the night her mother had come home and caught him, and had gotten mad at him, not because of what he was doing to her daughter, but because she'd made a deal with that slimy old guy who she got her drugs from. Faith had hidden in her room listening to her mother yelling at him and had cried. She's left the next day, thirteen years old and more willing to starve and possibly freeze in the late winter streets of Boston than to be touched that way again, or traded by her mother to that old man for some drugs.

She looked back at Cat and wondered though if she would really want to let X screw her. She seemed to really care about Faith, the image of Cat and the fake watcher from the night before flashed through her mind, the anger visibly rolling off the short blonde as Xander told the newly formed poodle that Faith was under Cat's protection. But would that protection extend to her husband as well? Where would her allegiance lie? What would happen if he used the same line her stepfather had tried on her mother, 'The bitch came on to me'? Would she side with her husband and turn against Faith? Could she take that chance?

Slowly faith shook her head, "I, I don't think I want to. I appreciate the offer, but I don't, want to. I can take care of myself."

Cat frowned, then she looked at Xander. Xander shrugged, apparently responding to something Cat had thought at him, it was kinda creepy how they did that sometimes. The Xander looked back at Faith and said sadly, "Look, Cat wants to talk to you alone. I'm goanna go out for a bit, go to the store and get some groceries. Yeah, I'm going to go shopping. I'll be back in a bit, you two talk."

Faith watched as Xander stalked out of the apartment, softly closing the door behind himself.

She turned her eyes back to Cat, who simply stepped forward and without warning gathered Faith into a hug. Faith returned it almost instinctively for a moment, then gained control over herself and pushed her away. "What the fuck?" she asked.

Cat just stepped back and looked at her. "Faith, remember what I told you last night about lying? I don't know what it was that happened, and I won't dig in your head to find out, but whatever it was that hurt you so bad, I want you to know that if its in my power to prevent, nothing like it will ever happen to you again."

Faith heard the caring sincerity in the other woman's voice. And she thought about sharing what had happened when she was thirteen, only two years, yet at the same time oh so long ago. But she didn't. She just shook her head, "You wouldn't understand. Besides, it doesn't matter."

Cat looked at her sadly, "Whether I would or wouldn't understand, it matters. We both know you are afraid of Xander. Xander isn't sure what he did to make you afraid of him, but we both saw it was because of him that you said no. That's why he left, he's hoping you'll talk to me about it, and that we can show you you don't need to be worried about him."

Faith looked back at Cat, and honestly wondered if she didn't understand. "He's a guy. That's all."

Cat frowned. "Yeah?"

Faith shrugged, "You know what he wants. What all guys want."

"Twinkies?" Cat asked with a smile.

Faith snorted, then sobered, "Not unless that's your special name for it. Sex. It's ll they care about."

Cat shook her head. "That's not true. It's not true of lots of guys, but I know for a fact it's not true of Xander."

Faith scowled at her and asked, "How do you know?"

Cat smiled softly, "Because I have him right here," she said, pointing at her head, "every thought, every dream, and especially every desire. His entire mind is in the back of my head all the time, as mine is in the back of his. We told you that we are the same being, on certain level, didn't we?"

Faith nodded, "Yeah."

"Well that is literal in many ways. We have two bodies, two personalities, and even two minds. But at the same time, we really are the same person. What Xander knows, I know. What he thinks, I hear. What he feels, I feel. And the same goes for him. No matter where he is, or what he's doing, we are connected. So I know what he thinks about. And I can tell you, most of the time he is not thinking about sex. And," she said with a grin, "Most of the time when he is, he's thinking about it with me."

Her face grew more somber. "He did think you were hot looking when he first saw you. He still thinks you are pretty attractive, but he isn't thinking of you as someone he wants to get into the sack. More along the lines of protecting you from all the other guys who he knows will want to get you into the sack. He's already thinking of you as a part of his family. Like he thinks of Buffy, who he also thinks is hot, but now sees more as a sister than a potential lover, just like he does with Willow. In fact, the only thought he's had about sleeping with any of the women from Sunnydale he's had since we were together was a brief consideration about someone he calls Cordy, and that only after watching a TV show where they showed Xander and Cordy in a relationship."

Faith smirked at that, "X was on TV?"

Cat shook her head, giggling, "Not exactly. The show was about a different Xander, he was still from Sunnydale, still knew Buffy and Willow, but he apparently dressed up as a soldier for Halloween, not as an Immortal, likely because Immortals were not a part of that universe's fiction, they were real. Also, in that story, he actually WAS an Immortal, but one who had had yet to die his first death. He ended up getting killed for the first time by a Slayer-turned-vampire, by the name of Faith. He became a hybrid vampire-immortal, the two supernatural effects synergising, and gifting him with the benefits of a vampire, few of the deficits, other than a need for blood, as well as the ability to fly."

"Wait, a Slayer-turned-vampire named Faith? Is that supposed to be me?" Faith interrupted.

Cat shook her head, "No. Not exactly. It was likely a version of you though. We hadn't met you yet, remember? I hadn't even considered that the Slayer-Vampire might be you. You know your predecessor was turned, right? And that Xander blames himself for it's happening?"

Faith nodded, "B had said something about how some Slayer named Kendra got turned. Not that Xander did it though." Faith frowned.

"Xander didn't do it, and it wasn't his fault, despite what he believes. She attacked him, they fought, she almost killed him, he knocked her out and went home to lick his wounds. But he left her unconscious in the middle of a graveyard at night in Sunnydale. Apparently whatever vampire came by and found her thought she'd make a better minion than just as snack, so they turned her. And she became a super-powered Vampire, with more strength and speed than even Xander had at the time. He fought her until he finally killed her the same night he went to Hell." Cat explained.

"The same night I was Called." Faith whispered.

Cat nodded, "Yeah, why the Powers didn't select a new Slayer until then I still don't understand, a Vampire is the last creature they should want as an agent. But I think they were so focused on killing Xander that they ignored everything else, including the damage Kendra was causing, or the danger to the entire world she represented. But we've strayed way off course. We were talking about what men want, and more specifically, what Xander wants."

Faith frowned and looked down at her feet, stretched out before her as she sat on the couch next to Cat. She silently realized she hadn't even noticed crossing the room and sitting down, but she felt like she'd been sitting for a while already.

When Faith didn't answer, Cat reached out and pulled one of the girl's hands from her lap, and gave it a slight squeeze, causing the girl to turn and meet her eyes. "Talk to me Faith. Please tell me what it is that you are afraid of?"

Faith closed her eyes, blocking out the fixed green gaze of the smaller woman, and leaned her head back against the wall behind the couch. She sat that way for several moments, before finally taking a deep breath and answering, "That you'd choose him, instead of me."

Cat was confused, "Why would I have to? Xander is my husband, a part of my very being. And you are someone to cherish, someone to guide, to help grow up like a daughter, if you will let me. If that is too much to ask, you already are a friend. So what is the choice?"

Faith opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling, then lowering her gaze to the table before the couch. For the first time that morning, her eyes came to rest on the head in the glass box. It was silent for once, it's gaze fixed on her. Waiting, listening, it's expression solemn. She suddenly thought of everything which she and Cat had said so far, and of what she'd been about to share, and she felt her cheeks turn red with embarrassment.

Following her gaze, Cat met the eyes of the Devil Head in the box, which had looked away from Faith when Cat's attention shifted to it. A brief silent communication seemed to pas between the two before Cat turned to the embarrassed Slayer and said softly, "Whatever it is, he likely already knows. After all, it was likely something evil, and that is his domain."

Faith looked back at the solemn head in the box, and it somehow nodded at her, as though confirming what Cat had said. Shaking her head and deciding 'what the fuck', Faith kept her gaze on the head as she said softly, "My mom chose the bastard who first raped me, over me. Granted, she was more mad that he'd been the first rather than that he'd done it, but when he said that I came on to him, she believed him and called me a slut. I was afraid that when Xander did the same thing, when he told me it was time to pay for my room and board, that afterwards you would side with him and turn against me. And having you support me last night was." She trailed off, unable to articulate what she wanted to say, and slightly distracted by the look of vengeful anger on the face of the head in the box.

Cat followed Faith's gaze back to the Devil's head, then looked back at the child. "He's mad. Not at you, even the devil has some things that he considers unacceptable, at least when he isn't the cause. Don't get me wrong, he's a nasty, evil bastard who gets joy from causing pain, but apparently even he's not happy with what he's just heard. Which likely spells bad things for your mother and stepfather once they reach Lucifer's domain, which from what you've told me they surely will."

Faith looked at the calm, yet angry eyes of the devil's head, and shuddered inside, feeling sorry for her one time parents for the first time in as long as she could remember. But only a very little bit, she still had too much pain to really forgive either one of them yet.

"I don't get why you keep it here." Faith said.

The head just looked at Cat and waited for her reply, "So he remembers that there are some people he shouldn't screw with, ever. He tried to make me think Xander didn't love me, and never would." She said glaring at the head.

"But I thought you said he was inside your mind, always a part of you? How could you not know if he loved you or not if that was the case?" Faith asked, not understanding.

"This was before we were married. We already had a link of some sort, but we weren't like we are now, not by a long shot. And Lucifer, he took everything Xander did and said, and he twisted it. Remember this, Faith, if you ever talk to the Devil; he never lies, and every word he says is the truth, but still nothing he says is correct. It's a game he plays, deceiving people with only the facts and the truth, so never trust him. No matter what."

The head was smiling evilly now inside the box, as though proud of what Cat had just said, but that expression slipped as she went on, "And if he ever does try to convince you of anything, let myself or Xander know, because as we told that bitch last night, whether you decide to live with us or not, you ARE under our protection, and that extends even to the Devil himself."

Faith watched as the head started yelling mutely at Cat again, before silently getting up and going into the bedroom she'd used the night before to gather up the strewn clothes she'd carelessly left on the floor on her way to bed the previous night and think about what Cat had said.

When she bent over to pick up the leather pants next to the bed, however, a wave of dizziness passed over her briefly, her whole body shivering momentarily from a sudden chill as she sneezed. But as soon as whatever it was had hit, it had passed, and she continued to clean up the clothes without comment.

"It is done." The male Oracle said.

"The new Slayer is Called. And the Council should be happy, since she's one of the ones they've trained this time." The female said.

"If they were properly grateful, they would send us a gift." The male said.

"Something pretty and shiny." The female said.

Faith had just returned from the bedroom a while later when she saw Cat sitting on the couch with a strange expression on her face, as the head continued to shout in silence about something.

"Hey Cat, what's up?" she asked, hoping to avid the morning's topic.

Cat looked away from the shouting head and met Faith's eyes, her own looking as though she was trying to stifle a bout of laughter. "Xander's almost back."

Faith felt a bit of worry pass over her, "Is he alright?" she asked.

Cat nodded, a small giggle coming out as she did so, "Yeah. More or less. Um, Xander had an idea. I'm trying to be supportive."

Faith narrowed her eyes, "What kind of idea?" she asked.

Cat shrugged, "You'll see."

The door opened and a figure stepped in, carrying several bags of groceries.

It was only as the door swung closed behind them that Faith started to notice that there was something wrong with the picture, namely whoever it was that was carrying the groceries, they weren't Xander.

It was a young woman, perhaps eighteen or twenty. She had short, dark hair and large brown eyes and a rather tall, skinny, and shapeless body. She wasn't ugly, but neither was she pretty. Plain would be the best description for her. Someone you would tend to overlook in a library. Oh yeah, she looked like she belonged in a library. She was dressed in a pair of new looking somewhat loose fitting dark slacks, with a beige blouse which downplaid her smallish breasts. All she really needed was a pair of glasses and she could be a total nerd.

Cat was looking at her with interest, the obvious laughter in her eyes being studiously blocked from her face as she asked, "Are you sure about this?"

The strange woman nodded, then after a glance at Faith said in a soft alto, "If it'll make Faith more comfortable, then yes. I'm sure."

Faith's eyes shot open and she gasped, "Xander?"

Cat couldn't take it anymore, and she fell back on the couch laughing.

"Yes, Faith. Look, I know what you told Cat, and well, if this is what it takes to make you comfortable enough to stay here, then I'll do it. Granted, I'll have to change back when not in the apartment a lot of the time, like when I'm working or at school, but I don't mind."

Faith didn't know what to say. Granted, she'd never even considered that a guy might turn himself into a chick, especially not for her. It just wasn't the kind of thing guys did.

Or, she corrected herself, most guys. But then, most guys didn't have the power to change themselves, and those that might have, probably didn't already have a chick living in their head, if she understood what Cat had been telling her about Xander, and based on the fact that Xander did this while he was gone, or was that she was gone, now, anyhow, the point was that while still gone, Xander had known what she'd told Cat, and understood it enough to do this. For her. And she didn't have a fucking clue what to say about that, because this was way beyond, well, anything. She trusted Cat. And from what she understood, Xander and Cat were really the same person in some weird way. So that meant, and she realized it was true, she trusted Xander. "Damn" she finally said.

Xander looked at her as she started putting the groceries away, all but a box of Twinkies which she deliberately left out on the counter. Seeing the box, Faith flashed back to her earlier conversation with Cat, and how when she had told Cat, 'You know what he wants. What all guys want.' Cat had replied with 'Twinkies?'

Apparently that was what Xander wanted, even as a chick. Faith couldn't help it, she started giggling too, and soon both Cat and Faith were laughing hysterically as Xander stared at them in confusion. "I don't get it." She said, before opening the box of Twinkies and pulling one of the cakes out. Faith fell off the stool onto the floor.

About the time Xander had finished eating her Twinkie, Faith had gained enough control to climb to her feet again, the laughter swallowed for the moment, although a giggle still escaped as her eyes crossed the still open Twinkie box. Finally she looked at Xander and said, "Ok. I'll move in. And you don't have to be a girl for me to do so. I trust Cat. And you are Cat, or Cat is you, or some shit like that. You are both the same. So I should trust you too. And I'm willing to give it a shot. But I get one F. Just in case."

There was a flash of light, an a beaming, normal, male looking Xander stood before her, extending a hand, "Then let's shake on it."

Faith reached back out and took the offered hand and shook it.

Xander met her gaze with a gentle intensity she'd never seen in his eyes before, and he said, "One F. But try not to use it. In fact, I'll do you one better. For every A, you can bank an F, PE excluded. Both from the A's, and the F's."

"Why Exclude PE?" Faith asked.

"Slayer strength," he noted and she realized just how hard she was squeezing his hand at the moment.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, starting to release her grip, only to find her hand still held firmly.

"No, not what I meant, but you should be careful about that. What I meant was that I know you could Ace PE if you used your Slayer Strength to do so, and I realize that refusing to do so in the face of an insistent coach could get you that F, so if you end up blowing PE for that reason, it won't count. Although if you blow it because you blew it off or something, then we'll have to talk."

Xander released her hand and Faith found herself once more being hugged by Cat. She was starting to like getting Cat hugs.

"Well, I think we need to get ready to go back to school. What do you two think?" Xander asked from behind them.

Faith just smiled at him over Cat's shoulder. Who ever thought she'd be fucking happy to go back to some school?

Principal Snyder looked up as the three teenagers wandered past his secretary's desk and into his office, not even stopping to check in.

"Yes, can I help you?" he said, warily taking in the faces of Alexander Harris, Slayer Faith Lehane, and that short blonde he'd seen the night before.

"Good morning, Principal Snyder" Harris said, stepping forward. "We're here to register for classes, and to take some placement tests to see where we should be fit in. I'm hoping that Katrina and I can qualify as Seniors, and Faith is supposed to be a freshman, but as for whether she should be in remedial, or AP classes, or somewhere in between, we're not really sure and are hoping you can figure it out."

Snyder peered over at the uncharacteristically smiling Slayer and felt a knot form in his stomach. He knew what the Mayor would say, he would want Snyder to do whatever it took to get the Slayer into classes. Partly to distract her, and partly because he genuinely seemed to think education was important for these future McDonalds peons. As for Harris and his friend, he himself had called the Mayor to recommend that they smoothed the road for the return of the Lost Scooby to the school, having decided that it would be far easier to keep an eye on the miscreant if he was in classes than if he was wandering around at large doing who knows what.

"Very well. I trust you have your scholastic record from wherever it was you went last year when you left here?" he asked Harris, knowing full well that Harris had apparently been kidnapped and transported to Russia or something like that, from what he'd heard the night before while eavesdropping on the conversation in the library at the Mayor's behest.

Harris actually looked embarrassed for a moment, before the short blonde next to him whispered in his ear and withdrew a large worn envelope from her purse to hand to him.

"Me, no. I, uh, I wasn't in any school last year. I know it'll seem like some sort of made-up story, but the truth is I was Kidnapped last year." Harris said, rumpling the already worn envelope in his hands.

"Kidnapped?" Snyder asked, pretending not to already know what had happened.

Harris nodded. "Yeah. And taken to Russia. Where they locked me up. No one ever did learn why, but let me tell you, it was Hell."

The Slayer snickered at that, but a glance from the blonde and surprisingly she settled right down.

"Russia. I hope you have some sort of proof of this?" Snyder asked, allowing his contempt for the youth to creep into his voice.

"Uh, yeah. Right here." The boy said tossing the now very rumpled envelope onto Snyder's desk as though it was suddenly on fire. No wait, burning down schools was his friend Summers's trademark, not Harris's.

"Also is my transcripts." The blonde said in a soft, flat accent less alto, as though she had spent a lot of time practicing the accent, but not as much practicing the syntax.

He looked up at her and asked, "And you are?"

She smiled at him, a very pretty smile as she glanced at Harris and replied, "Katrina Harris." She glanced again at Harris and beamed as she added softly, "I am wife."

Snyder frowned, "Students should not be married, they're too young. I will not tolerate any inappropriate behavior from you two, is that clear?"

The blonde nodded softly replying "Da, uh," then a little louder, "Yes Sir."

Snyder looked through the papers from the envelope. In it were several documents in Russian, along with what looked like translations provided by the US State Department.

It was one of the stand alone documents which really gathered his attention though. 'Only Harris' he thought as he read through the document, a report summarizing the events surrounding the kidnapping and transportation across international borders of one US citizen, an Alexander Harris. It went on to detail how he had been held hostage, apparently without the issuance of any demands for several months. How towards the end of his ordeal a Russian citizen, one Katrina Bastdadura had also been kidnapped, and the two prisoners held locked together, chained up to opposite sided of a darkened room. How she had apparently drawn Alexander back from the brink of insanity by talking to him in the darkness as they waited for the infrequent visits by their captors. Reading the event actually stirred a wisp of sympathy for Harris's plight somewhere deep inside Snyder, but he swiftly quashed it, and continued on reading through the summary. Apparently, after one visit by their captors, Harris had been insufficiently rechained, and shortly after their departure had managed to free himself. He had made his way across the unlight room to where Katrina was being held, and had managed somehow to free her as well, although she was unable to walk at that point due to injuries. He had carried her out and through the open countryside for several miles before stealing a car, and driving her to a hospital in a local town. There were references to copies of the relevant court documents covering his confession regarding his theft of the automobile, and the subsequent dismissal of the charges due to extenuating circumstances. The kidnappers had fled the location by the time the local police could arrive to investigate, but plenty of physical evidence was collected, and an investigation was apparently ongoing. Harris and Katrina apparently refused to be separated, and were married by a Russian Judge at their request, allowing Katrina, who's family had been apparently killed when she was captured, to apply for US citizenship and return with her new husband. Included was Katrina's entire scholastic record, translated into English, as well as copies of the marriage certificate, and the various documents pertaining to the repatriation of Harris, and the immigration of his wife.

Snyder looked up from the documents and said flatly, "Well, it all seems in order. We're going to need to make copies of all this. As far as class placement, you are right, we're going to have to administer several placement tests to see where both of you lay, scholastically. I suppose we can administer a test to Faith, I believe he said your name was?" Snyder asked, looking at Lehane.

The Slayer nodded silently.

Snyder frowned, and asked her, "I believe I've seen you around here before, haven't I?"

Harris spoke up again, preempting any reply the Slayer may have been about to make, "She was a runaway, and had dropped out of school at the time. She was recently adopted though , and her new parents insisted she return to school. They asked us to keep an eye on her, make sure there were no problems." Suddenly Harris's voice took on an almost hypnotic quality as he continued, "There will be no problems."

Snyder blinked, almost like coming out of a trance as he answered, "No, of course there won't be any problems. I'll have Ms. Wintmore set you up for several placement exams right away. I'll be just a moment."

With that Snyder left the three teenagers in his office as he went in search of his wayward secretary. He had to set everything up and make sure there wouldn't be any problems No problems at all, the Mayor wouldn't like it if there were problems, after all.

"It's happened again, Sister." the male Oracle said, looking across the room at his eternal sibling.

His sister almost didn't hear him, she was concentrating so hard on ways to restore their plan to the proper track now that they no longer have Slayer Faith, who wasn't supposed to die for another eight months, when she was to play a pivotal role in ensuring the failure of the Mayor's Ascension, as well as the death of the Pretender, thus freeing their future Champion to leave Sunnydale and move to Los Angeles where he could resume his destiny in the defeat of the Circle of the Black Thorn several years hence. "What's that, Brother?" she asked, still somewhat distracted.

"Sunnydale. It's being blocked again, it seems to have started several hours ago, but I hadn't noticed until I tried to check on out future Champion again. And when I noticed I once more couldn't see anything from the region of the Hellmouth, I started looking backwards, and the block seems to have started earlier this morning."

She turned her own senses towards the nearby Hellmouth, only to find nothing. It was as though the Hellmouth and its environs had ceased to exist, or more accurately like they had never existed in the first place. It was quite, disconcerting.

"Get the demons over there. We need to send Whistler to check on the vampire. The last thing we need right now is for Harris to kidnap him and take him back to Hell with him as well. Also, have Skip find and neutralize Harris. This interference must end." she commanded.

Her brother nodded, summoning their agents, even as his sister began contacting the other Powers, summing them to a conclave, they must have consensus on this and task every agent and Champion they have to eliminating Harris and stopping his interference in their plans.

"Willow!" Buffy's excited voice called out across the lunch room.

The redhead turned to see an unusually excited Buffy pushing her way through the milling students in order to get to her. "Have you seen him yet?" she asked, sliding into the seat across from the young apprentice Witch.

"Seen who?" Willow asked, confused.

Buffy's eyes suddenly shot open and she started a babble worthy of the redhead it was directed towards. "Oh-my-god-I-forgot-to-call-you-last-night-I'm-so-sorry!" Taking a breath she continued, speeding back up to a babble, "Xander's back. Or-at-least-he-was-last-night-and-he-said-he'd-be-coming-back-to-school-today-for-good."

Willow shot to her feet, looking around the cafeteria for any sign of her absent childhood friend. "Where is he? Why didn't he call me?" settling her gaze on her embarrassed looking friend she asked, "How could you forget to call me?"

Buffy looked down at the table, then back up, meeting the hurt eyes of her redheaded best friend, "I was distracted."

Willow sank back into her seat, pinning her friend with her gaze, "By what?"

Buffy's blush deepened and she took a deep breath, "Willow, there's something I need to tell you." She paused a few seconds, gathering her courage, then continued, "Angel's back."

Willow's already pale complexion suddenly faded several shads, going past a milky white, to a sickly greenish tinge "Wha? Oh-my-god! We-have-to-get-Giles! We'll-need-stakes, lots-of-stakes, and-oh-holy-water."

Buffy reached out and caught one of Willow's waving hands and held it gently as she said, "Willow, breathe. And it's OK. The spell you guys did last year, apparently it worked. He's Angel, not Angelus. But he's not well, apparently he was in Hell for over a hundred years, and it wasn't a pleasant stay."

Willow's color was slowly returning to her face as she asked, "Over a hundred years? But Xander was gone almost as long, and he said it was closer to twenty or twenty five years. How could it have been over a hundred for Angel? That makes no sense."

Buffy shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe Xander was lying, you know how he tries to downplay things sometimes. Or maybe time runs really differently in Hell, I don't know. We know it does run differently, since it was only months here, and they both thought it was years there.

Willow nodded at that, agreeing with the basic concept of differing rates of perceptual time across various realities.

"But, when did he get back? Did Xander bring him?" Willow asked.

Buffy's blush deepened yet again, and she mumbled something almost incomprehensible. Willow just looked at her and asked, "What?"

Buffy took a deep breath and said again, a bit louder, "Last week." At Willows look she explained, "I found him incoherent and almost naked in a graveyard on patrol. I carried him back to the mansion he'd been using on Crawford Street, and got him some blood. I've been feeding him ever since then. He's a lot better now, almost back to full strength, and he's almost completely recovered from the experience, although he's still kind of distant. I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure how you guys would react. I mean, afterwards, after we'd lost Xander, you guys seemed to think it was all Angel's fault, and I didn't want to get into all of that, I was just happy he was finally back."

Willow was frowning at Buffy as she said softly, "You should have told us. What if he didn't still have his soul? We would all have been in danger, and wouldn't have known at all."

Buffy shook her head, "No, he's fine. He's really Angel, not Angelus."

Willow's scowl turned to a hurt expression as she plaintively asked, "So, because of Angel you were too distracted to tell me my best friend since forever was coming back to school today?"

Buffy frowned, "I'd meant to call you last night, but things were so hectic after they left with Cat, Giles kept worrying about the Hellmouth and I had to dispose of the Hydra Head, and then it was too late to call, so I decided I'd catch you this morning, but then when I went to see Angel on my way to school he told me that the Powers That Be thought that Xander had kidnapped Faith and taken her to Hell for some reason, and that Xander was evil. Then I was late for class, and well, this was the first time I saw you all day. I'm a bad friend. I'm sorry." Buffy pouted as she looked down at her hands folded before her on the table.

Willow took a deep breath to scold her friend again, but then let it go, suddenly distracted by something Buffy said, "Hellmouth and Hydra Head? Did the Hellmouth open last night?"

Buffy shrugged, "Sort of. Cat came back with Xander, of course. Well Faith and her pulled this prank on Giles and me. They pretended Faith had killed Xander, but then I noticed he was still alive, and there was this evil fake watcher who wanted to take charge of Faith, and Cat turned her into a pink poodle, then she somehow got rid of the Hellmouth, and Xander yelled at her, and that weird roman God Janus came and yelled at her too, and made Cat recreate the Hellmouth, and she opened up a portal, and the Hydra came through and tried to eat Cat, and Xander cut the head off, then she closed the portal and opened another one on the floor, like the Hellmouth had been, and all the furniture fell in, and Xander disappeared, and Cat closed the Hellmouth, and then Xander came back, and made new furniture, and then the God left, and Xander and Cat told Faith, did you know she's just fifteen, with them to Toronto, saying they'd be back today for school."

Willow blinked as she digested her friend's report. At least she could understand how Buffy may have been too distracted to call her if all that was going on the night before. But several things demanded more investigation, "Did you say Xander replaced the furniture? How?"

Buffy shrugged, "He's a god. Or I think He and Cat are a god, somehow. It's confusing, I don't think even Giles really understands it. But apparently he's like a really powerful god. And he's still Janus's Champion, so he can also call on Janus's power if he needs to."

Willow's head spun as she considered her best friend since kindergarten as an actual God, like all the ones at his wedding. But she moved on to the next point, "There was an evil Watcher? And she was trying to take Faith? Slutbomb-skank Faith?"

Buffy looked around then said softly, "Don't let Xander or Cat hear you call her that. Xander was totally pissed off at Giles and me last night because we were letting her live at the Sunnydale Motor Loge."

Willow grinned, "Hooker central?" she nodded as she continued, "That's just so, appropriate for her somehow."

Buffy shook her head, "Wills, she's just fifteen, like I was when I was called two years ago. Xander had a point, she shouldn't be living there. No matter how she acts or dresses."

Willow digested that for a moment. "Xander was mad?"

Buffy nodded, "I thought he was going to explode, and not just emotionally. He was seething mad, and at the same time he was icy cold. Like he could kill either of us without any fuss. But when we told him we didn't know, he calmed right down, he just went back out and told Faith she wasn't going back to the Motel, and that she could either stay with me, Giles, or go with him and Cat last night. I almost got mad at him for volunteering my like that but then I thought about it, and I suddenly felt so guilty for not even wondering how old she was, or where she was living. Did you know she lied to us, her real Watcher isn't on some retreat, she's dead. Faith came here looking for help, and we just called her a slut and ignored her. I pictured what I'd have done if I hadn't had my Mom and Dad when Merrick died, and I'd made my way across the whole country to find another Slayer, and they treated me like we've treated Faith, and I felt so bad I almost wished Xander had killed me in Giles's office. "

Willow thought about it, and a flush of embarrassment heated her own cheeks momentarily. "I suppose so. I'll apologize to her. How would Angel know that the Powers That Be thought Xander kidnapped Faith and took her to hell?"

Buffy shrugged, "Apparently someone called Whistle told him. They know Xander was here somehow, and that the Hellmouth opened, and afterwards, they couldn't find Faith, to apparently they figured that Xander had somehow kidnapped her and taken her through the Hellmouth to Hell."

Willow nodded at that, it made sense, she supposed. "Ok. So, when was he supposed to be here?"

Buffy shrugged, "He told Snyder, he was there last night by the way, apparently the Mayor sent him to check on the Hellmouth for some reason, but Xander told Snyder he and Cat were going to be coming in today to re-enroll in school, and he used some Jedi Mind Trick to make Snyder think it was his idea to get Xander back into school with us."

Willow grinned, "I remember him doing that a few times after Halloween. He wasn't very good at it though."

Buffy grinned, "Well apparently he's a whole lot better now, 'cause Snyder told him everything he asked, then left Just like Xander told him to."

Willow shook her head. "Ok. Well, I'm going to swing by the office and see if they know anything then." She put on her Resolve Face "But we're talking later about not telling us about Angel. You got that Missy?"

Buffy just nodded, looking down at her hands once more.

"Ok. I'll go check at the office. If he shows up here, don't let him leave. I'll be back unless I find him." Willow ordered as she moved off, her half eaten lunch totally forgotten behind her on the table.

Snyder sneered as he came into the room. Originally he'd had mixed feelings when he'd seen the results of Harris's and Bastdadura's placement tests. It had been his idea, after all to insure that Harris was readmitted to Sunnydale High, where it would be easier to keep an eye on him. But the evidence of cheating was so blatantly obvious that the attack dog inside Snyder's core was unrestrainable when presented with the opportunity. Besides, he could still readmit Harris, but it would be on HIS terms now, with the student on probation and under as many restrictions as Snyder could think of.

"Harris, I don't know how you did it, but I know you cheated on these tests." He said, waving the exams in the air to prove his point.

Xander blinked in confusion at the man, barely restraining his urge to slip inside the petty administrator's mind to see what he was gloating about. Instead he simply opted for asking, "Huh?"

Snyder slapped the tests down on the table. "Identical scores. That's what I'm talking about. I know you copied off of Bastdadura's tests. There's no other way you two could get the same answers right and wrong on both of your tests."

Xander sighed, then looked at Snyder in annoyance, "Did it occur to you that perhaps we studied together?"

Snyder gave Xander an evil grin at that reply, then looked towards the door where the instructor who had administered the tests was standing. "I asked Mrs. Jensen about that, and she said it wouldn't be enough to cause a perfect match. No, you cheated, and as soon as we figure out how, your ass is mine."

Xander looked over at the obviously harried math teacher, "Mrs. Jensen, where was I sitting in the room?"

Mrs. Jensen shrugged, "You were in the front, by my desk."

"And where was Cat?" He asked, looking over at his smirking wife.

"She was also in the front, at the other side of the room, by the door."

"And how many rows of chairs were there between us?" Xander asked.

"There were five rows, and before you ask, Ms. Lehane was in the center seat, between both of you. So I don't know how you could have shared answers." Mrs. Jensen answered.

"One more question. Were they the same tests?" Xander asked.

Mrs. Jensen blinked at the question, then answered, "Of course they were. Standard Placement Tests."

Xander shook his head, "I mean, the questions. Were they the same?"

Mrs. Jensen nodded, "Of course. Each of the SHSPTs tests the same body of knowledge. I mean, they mix the order of the questions and the answers up, but the tests are all identical."

"Right, but the actual tests are different. Same information, but different order." Xander clarified.

Snyder frowned as Mrs. Jensen nodded, "Yes. I already said that."

Turning to Snyder, Xander explained, "So if I had somehow copied my answers off of Cat's test, I would have probably missed more answers than if I'd just randomly filled in a response for every question."

Mrs. Jensen nodded, "Of course. That's why they are set up that way, so students can't just copy the answers from the student next to them."

Locking eyes with Snyder, Xander replied in a soft tone, "So it is impossible for me to have copied off of Cat's test, or for her to have copied off of mine. Our answers are the same because we studied together, and know the same things."

Snyder blinked and replied, "Ok, so you studied together and knew the same things. You also didn't know the same things. But overall you scored well enough to qualify for AP cources, and to graduate at the end of the year, if you pass all the classes. But I'll be keeping my eyes on you, Harris." Shifting his beady gaze to Cat he added, "And you too, Ms. Bastdadura."

Cat frowned at him, "That's Mrs. Harris, Mr. Snyder. Please use my proper name."

Snyder sneered, "Not in my school. I refuse to acknowledge a marriage between two of my students. You're both too young." Looking now at the silent Faith who was standing between both Xander and Cat, he added, "Oh, and Ms. Lehane, you will be admitted as a Freshman. Your scores were rather low, and you will be taking Remedial Math, but otherwise they were sufficient that I can see you graduating in three years, if you buckle down and work hard. You will go see the councilors now so they can issue you a class schedule. It's too late for you to start today, but all three of you will be back here on time tomorrow for your first period at 8:10. Is that understood?"

Faith nodded, swallowing the retort she wanted to make as Cat softly squeezed her arm, reminding her that she wasn't alone in her distaste for the principal, but that this was not a fight she should get into at the moment.

"Thanks, Mr. Snyder." Cat said.

Glancing at the retreating form of Mrs. Jensen, Snyder admonished, "That's Principal Snyder, Ms. Bastdadura."

"That's Mrs. Harris, Mr. Snyder. I refuse to acknowledge any title worthy of respect to any one who won't acknowledge my legal marriage to my husband."

Snyder sneered and growled at her, "You're already on my list, Ms. Bastdadura due to your association with Harris and the hooligans he hangs out with. You really don't want me to move you to the top of it."

Cat smiled sweetly at him as she replied, "And you don't want to get on my list at all, Mr. Snyder. Because the people who end up on it don't stay there for long."

Snyder was cut off from replying as the door closed behind the small blonde, leaving him alone in his office.

"They left" Willow whined as she came up to Buffy in the hallway after the last class of the day.

Buffy turned a confused gaze on Willow and asked, "Who left?"

"Xander! He was here with Cat AND Faith. I was told they were taking placement tests when I went by at Lunch. I tried to wait around, incase they finished, but they never came out, and then the bell rang, and I had to go to class. But I just went by the office, and they told me that they all three left, over an hour ago! Just like that!" Willow explained.

Amy and Jonathan were making their way down the hall towards the other two Scoobies, even as Buffy started leading the upset Willow towards the Library. "Well, what would you expect them to do?"

Willow pouted, "Wait around and say 'Hi' would be nice. Xander hasn't even tried to call me. I thought he was my best friend, why is he avoiding me? Did I say something wrong at his wedding?"

Buffy blinked at her friend as she tried to think of a reply. "No, I don't think he's avoiding you, Willow. It's just that there were other things going on. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you again."

"When?" Willow asked.

Buffy just shrugged, "Perhaps we'll go Bronzing tonight? That'd be cool. The whole gang back together again."

Willow looked hopeful, "You think so?"

Buffy just shrugged. "I'm sure he wants to see you as much as you want to see him."

Willow smiled as they walked into the library together, Amy and Jonathan trailing silently along behind them.

Giles looked up as his children shuffled into the room. He'd been hoping it would be either Faith or Xander and his wife, but he was equally glad to see Buffy, Willow, Amy and Jonathan coming into the room. "Good afternoon." He said, lifting his teacup at them in greeting.

Buffy was the first to speak. "Hey Giles. You hear from Xander yet?"

Giles just shook his head in a negative, "Other than learning that he and Cat, who's apparently using the name Katrina Bastdadura Harris, as well as Faith have registered for school starting tomorrow. Both Cat and Xander are to be attending as Seniors, and are scheduled to graduate this June with the rest of you, while Faith, who for some reason is using the last name Januson, will be attending as a Freshman."

"Januson?" Willow asked, confused.

A deep voice spoke from the doorway behind them, startling everyone in the room as it said, "Yes. Januson, her new last name, since Kitty and I have adopted the girl legally. We shall be moving into a basement apartment just across the street, in fact, providing our daughter with easy access to her classes, and her friends with a convenient place to stop by after school."

Everyone whirled to gaze at the newcomers, Giles actually dropping his teacup to the floor in his surprise to the unexpected interruption.

Standing in the door were two strangers and Faith. The brunette Slayer was bracketed by a tall middle-aged brunette man, and a rather curvy and short blonde woman in her late twenties or early thirties.

Giles was a bit put off by something about the man before him, and he asked warily, "And you are?"

The man smiled and extended his hand, "Lex. Lex and Kitty Januson. And of course, you know our daughter Faith."

Willow's eyes narrowed and she asked softly, "Xander?"

Suddenly there was a flash of light, and the older man was replaced by the form of her familiar, and long absent friend who just gave her a goofy grin as he said happily, "Hey Wills. Miss me?"

A red-headed missile launched herself on a ballistic trajectory across the room, only to be caught in Xander's arms as she giggled in happiness at finally seeing her friend.

Cat, still in the persona of Kitty Januson, looked on with a happy smile on her own face as she felt the utter happiness radiating from her husband to fill her own mind with it's joy.

Giles cleared his throat, catching Cat's, or rather, Kitty's eye and asked, "Is the subterfuge really necessary?"

Kitty nodded and replied, "There is no way they would allow a pair of seventeen, or even eighteen year olds to adopt a fifteen year old girl, and we wanted to make it official. So we're going to see about creating a stable portal between the basement storeroom of the apartments across the street, and our inside apartment in Toronto. Anyone who doesn't know the truth shouldn't be surprised by the lack of windows in the apartment, as they will believe it to be downstairs, under ground. Unless they go out the actual front door and find themselves above the club there shouldn't be any problems. And it solves several other concerns. Xander and I will be registered as living there as well, which will explain why he doesn't reside with his parents, the plans for the building will now show the living space instead of the storage area, the actual area will be used for the new Guest Suite, where Xander and Cat will allegedly be living, somewhat separated from the kitchen entryway, and both the Master Bedroom and Faith's room, which are in the Toronto apartment. Since we bought the building, there shouldn't be any questions about why we would choose to live there, either."

With another flash of light, Kitty was replaced by the far more youthful looking Cat, and she continued, "And it'll allow you guys to come visit us whenever you want, as well as let Faith patrol here in Sunnydale, since she can't very well go around Toronto killing vampires."

"Bought the building? How did you manage to do that?" Giles asked, looking at Cat then over at Xander to see signs of secret wealth.

Faith was the one who answered, however, grinning as she replied, "They fucking ripped off the Mob. It was so cool!"

Cat frowned at Faith as she replied in a somewhat mockingly-sharp tone, "Now faith, we did not rip off the Mob. What was it Xander said, oh yeah, we diverted numerous unmarked liquid assets from several cartels, directing each of their attentions towards their various rivals."

Faith just grinned and shook her head. "They fucking ripped off the Mob. And made them think it was other dealers who did it. A whole bunch of them got busted with extra drugs, the drugs the cash was paying for, so the ones who got ripped think the ones who got busted did it."

Giles frowned, but Xander relaxed his grip on Willow and interjected, "And the ones who didn't get ripped off, got busted, so they lost both their cash and their drugs. It won't stop things, but it should cause a huge logjam in their delivery train. And we were able to siphon off several million dollars with which we purchased the apartments across from the school, and set up college funds for you guys, as well as a trust fund for Faith."

Faith just grinned, "The fucking Mob is paying me to get good grades. They just don't know it."

Giles looked in confusion to Xander who shrugged, "Carrot and Stick We made an agreement with Faith this morning, she returned to school, and didn't fail any classes, "

"Hey, I get to fail one, remember!" Faith interjected, "And if I get an A, I can get another F somewhere else as well."

Xander nodded, "True. Ok, she can't fail many classes. But that was the stick. The carrot is for every actual A she gets, that isn't in Gym, she also gets to draw a thousand dollars from her trust fund for whatever she wants. If she gets three A's, she can draw three grand. Otherwise, it just sits there until she graduates college. Then she gets the interest. She can't touch the principal until she can match it out of her own funds, at which point she gets it all."

Giles took off his glasses and started to clean them. Buffy pouted and said, "Why don't I get any money for getting A's?"

Willow interjected, "Buffy, you don't get any A's. Just B's, C's and D's. Mostly C's."

Buffy looked pointedly at Xander and said, "I might if I got a thousand dollar bonus for every A."

Xander shook his head, "You might, but you won't from me. I'm your friend, Buff. Not your Father. Cat and I wanted to insure that Faith was taken care of in case anything happened to us somehow. With the college funds and trust fund we set up for her today, she should be able to set herself up successfully in life. And the matching funds clause to release the principal on the trust gives her a reason to strive for that success, because she'll have to save quite a bit of money to match the original principal."

Faith just grinned, "Yeah, but when I do, I'll be the richest fucking slayer ever."

Xander nodded. "True, with two million in liquid assets, and the experience which allowed her to gather the second million on her own, she shouldn't squander it away once she has control of the full amount. Or so I would hope. But at that point it's hers to do with as she chooses in any case."

Faith just grinned. "Did I mention that they actually adopted me? Legal and all. Went to the court this morning, and bamboozled a Judge. He signed papers and everything."

Cat grinned and shook her head, "We didn't bamboozle him, Faith, we just convinced him that we were fit parents, that you were an acceptable candidate for adoption, despite being a runaway, and that there wasn't a need for CPS or Welfare to worry about things like they normally would in such a case. Nothing we told him was untrue, and he made his own decisions. We just cut a few corners so we could do it now, rather than drag it out over several months worth of inspections, investigations, and hearings which would have all required special efforts to manage."

Faith just grinned, "They bamboozled a fucking Judge, and ripped off the Mob. For me." She reached out and grabbed Cat in one arm and squeezed the smaller girl with enough force to have killed a mortal woman. But Cat just returned the hug, although with a bit less force, so as to avoid damaging the girl. "I've got fucking cool parents."

Cat just smiled up at her new daughter. Softly she whispered into Faith's ears, so quietly that even Buffy's Slayer Hearing didn't pick it up, "Faith, one request, please try and cut down on the language, for me?"

Faith's smile didn't waver as she considered the request, and the way it was worded, and then nodded slightly, whispering back, "No prob. I'll try."

Buffy quirked an eyebrow as she barely made out Faith's reply and realizing she'd missed something, but not sure what.

Willow had finally released Xander, and now her expression changed, becoming stern as she reached out and smacked him on the arm as hard as she could. "Why didn't you call me yesterday, or today?"

Xander looked down at his friend, his new senses taking in the pain radiating through her being at her question and he frowned sadly. "I'm sorry, Wills. There was just so much going on last night, and this morning you were in classes, then we had things to take care of before tomorrow, and well, I didn't have a chance. Besides, I wanted to SEE you, not just talk to you on the phone."

Willow felt the sincerity in his voice and wiping a tear away from the corner of her eye nodded at him quietly, accepting his apology.

Xander looked around and grinned, "But that brings up something I wanted to discuss with you guys." Looking over he met Cat's eyes for a moment before continuing, "One reason I couldn't call Willow today was she didn't have a phone. And neither did I. Cat and I thought about a lot of things last night, which is when we figured out how we think we can set up the stationary portal between Toronto and here, basically by making it like the Hellmouth, and powering it off the energy differential between there and here. And then we were thinking about phones, and we came up with an idea. So we're getting a set of regular cell phones, one for each of you, but we're going to replace them with ones that should be able to call across the portal, so whether we are here or there your phones should be able to get a hold of us."

Cat nodded and continued, "Which means in an emergency you can always get us, as long as we're either here or in Toronto."

Xander took over when she paused, "But there's something we need to go over with you guys right now, which might be hard for you guys to understand at first."

Looking around the room he took in the faces of those present. "Is Cordy still hanging out with you guys? And what about Oz? I know they were both at our wedding, are they around? And I think Mrs. Calendar, Mrs. Summers, and Liam should be here as well." Xander said.

"Liam?" Jonathan asked.

Xander glanced over at Buffy, who'd gone pale at the name, realizing exactly who he was referring to. Softly she replied, "Angel. It's his original name."

Xander shook his head, "No, it's the name of the soul. And that's who I am referring to. Liam is not Angelus, and he needs to understand that as well as the rest of you guys do."

Giles looked alarmed, "I say, has Angelus escaped from Hell as well?"

Xander shook his head, "No. At least not technically. But Liam is back."

Jenny Calendar, who had just entered the library lost the smile she'd been starting to form at the sight of the once missing Scooby as the words he was saying sunk in.

"He's back?" she asked.

Looking over at her Xander smiled a greeting, "Yeah, I think so. But the curse you guys did, it worked. We talked a bit in Hell before we got separated in a fight. I was able to, not reconcile with him, but in reflection I decided that he's wrong, and if anyone should know that, it's me."

"Wrong about what?" Jenny asked.

"Wrong about feeling guilty. Wrong about the need to seek redemption." Xander explained.

"How could he possibly be wrong about that? Angelus is a monster, one of the worst demons to rampage across Europe and Asia in recorded history." Giles asked.

Xander nodded, "True. But that's where he's wrong. You see, Liam is not Angelus. Granted, they share the same memories, and some of the same personality traits, but they are not the same being. I should know, your memories are a guide, a framework which shapes your actions and reactions. But you are not just the sum of those memories. I have many memories which are not mine in any way. They are all a part of me, and they provide a framework from which to work, a perspective to use in forming judgments. But I shouldn't feel guilt over the actions of some demon who's memories I absorbed during my stay in Hell, after all, I never did the things that demon did, nor would I take those actins, even if I were placed in those exact circumstances. So why should I feel guilt over them? Because I can remember the pleasure the demon felt at the other's pain? It wasn't my pleasure, so no. And if it's true for me, then it should be equally true for Liam. The only thing he's guilty of is the weakness which first gave birth to Angelus. But after that the crimes Angelus committed, are Angelus's, not Liam's. At worst he's an accessory, but he's not the murderer. And that's what I need to explain to Liam. I need to make him understand that he is NOT Angelus."

Jenny blinked at that, then stated, "But Angel is Angelus, just with a soul."

"But the soul is who you are. You, the true you, is the soul. Angelus isn't Liam without a soul. Liam without a soul is a dead body, rotting in the ground. Angelus is a demon infesting that dead body, a demon formed and guided by the memories of Liam's life, but a demon all the same. And Angelus does not have a soul." Xander tried to explain.

"If you want to place names, call the body Angel. It's not, it's just a body, and without a force animating it it's nothing but a lump of material. But for the sake of identification, we'll give it the name Angel. Now, the soul which was born into that body, and lived in it for over twenty years, he was called Liam. And Liam was never a murdering serial rapist. The worst thing I can think of him is a tendency towards pedophilia, and the weakness of will which led to his death. When Liam was killed by Darla, she created a demon called Angelus. Angelus was not Liam in any way. Oh, he had Liam's face, and his memories, shared his likes and dislikes, more or less, but they were not the same person at all. Because Liam was not evil, just weak and stupid. Angelus was evil by every definition of the word, he reveled in it. Because he's a demon, and that's what most of them do."

Giles paused in cleaning his glasses and asked, "So you are saying that despite sharing the same body and memories, they are distinctly separate individuals?"

Xander nodded, "You got it G-Man. Yes, Liam was a drunk and a coward, Angelus was a demon which reveled in causing pain. And when the Gypsies cursed Angel by dragging Liam back to earth and shoving him into the demon's body, he shouldn't have validated the actions of the demon by assuming the guilt for them. Yes, the memories of what the monster with his face using what had once been his body had done are likely horrid and nightmarish, especially recalling the joy causing such pain provided the demon. But unless Liam shared that joy, rather than shuddering in horror at the memories, he had no reason to feel any guilt over the other being's actions. The only actions he should be ashamed of are those he himself took, either during his original life, or after he was returned."

Buffy smiled and asked, "So you don't think Angel should feel bad about what the vampire did? You forgive him?"

Xander frowned, "No, I don't forgive him. No more than I forgive Jonathan for Willow's stealing my last Twinkie the day before I went to Hell."

Willow frowned at that, remembering how she'd jokingly taken the cake from her friend's lunch tray when he wasn't looking. She hadn't realized at the time that she was taking the last Twinkie he'd see for several years. Suddenly she felt a surge of guilt for what had seemed at the time a harmless prank, something she would have forgotten about herself by now, if it hadn't been the last time they'd eaten together before she lost him.

"I had nothing to do with that!" Jonathan said suddenly, "I wasn't even there, I was home sick that day! In fact, it wasn't until after you were gone that I even knew about it!"

Xander nodded, and replied, "My point exactly. So how can I forgive you for something you had no involvement in?" His eyes shifted to the suddenly stricken looking redhead at his side and he hugged her reassuringly, "And I forgave you for that that very day, even if I did regret missing that Twinkie several times over the years. It was the last happy memory I had of my bestest bud, of you smiling at me, your cheeks bulging with cake, filling on your lips as you said, "What Twinkie?" with such false sincerity, that the memory always made me smile."

Willow smiled back at him as she leaned into his hug, her sudden wash of guilt fading as she smiled herself now at the memory. Then she nodded, "So because Liam didn't do the things Angelus did, you can't forgive him because he's not involved."

Xander nodded, "Yep. Liam may as well have been home sick, while Angelus was doing his deeds. And that's what I need to get the idiot to realize."

Centering his gaze on the Slayer, he asked, "So, can you go get your Mom, then swing by wherever Angel is, and bring them both back here, so Cat and I can go over some stuff we need you all to understand now, rather than later?" At Buffy's nod he shifted his gaze to Willow, "And can you go find Oz, and maybe Cordy, and get them both back here by say, five thirty? We'll all meet back here at five thirty, and then Cat and I have some explaining to do. Then we'll go pull a quick patrol, and have some fun. Cat and I are going to go try and set up that static portal to Toronto in the meantime."

Everyone seemed to nod, and with that Xander gave Willow a final hug, then moved over to his wife and new daughter. "Well, let's go see about setting up a permanent doorway between here and home."

Cat nodded, and Faith quietly followed the two as they headed across the street, quietly chatting with each other about if they could manage a stable wormhole instead of a portal, so they didn't have to worry about a sideband.

"Buffy, are you sure Xander isn't evil?" Angel asked as he followed the slayer to her mother's car.

Joyce's expression was a frozen mask of politeness as she watched her daughter lead the vampire towards her. As Buffy reached out to open the door, Joyce said calmly, "He sits in the back. And you are in the front." Inside Joyce was in a state of turmoil. When it had come out that Buffy's "Tutor" had really been a two hundred plus year old vampire, one which had slept with her child, and had subsequently turned evil, and had resulted in that nice young man Xander, who Joyce had always secretly hoped Buffy may take a liking to, going to hell, or worse, she'd been livid. But she had managed, barely, to keep from lashing out at her daughter, and had reconciled herself with the knowledge that the entire incident was in the past, and there was no use arguing about something neither of them could change at this point. But seeing that, creature, once more, all the repressed anger at the mere thought of that, thing touching her daughter flooded back once more to the front of her mind, and it was all she could do to control herself, and simply drive the car to the High school.

Cordelia Chase, cheer captain and unarguable top of the High School social circle looked at the losers and misfits clustered around her in the library, and once more wondered why she was there. What was it about these, geeks, that kept dragging her into the midst of their weirdness? In the beginning it had been part curiosity, and part gratitude which had enticed her into spending time with them, but that phase had passed long ago. But somehow she had by that time become a part of their group, somehow, even if just as a remote auxiliary, and so she still found herself asked to attend the occasional meeting, or provide support while the rest of the misfits did what they did to save the world, and how could she refuse, she did like living in the world after all, and if Armageddon were to occur, it would play hell with her social schedule, car worse than the occasional incursions the so called "Scoobies" imposed.

At least this meeting was about something important, namely the return of Xander, and the apparent forthcoming attendance of that blonde chick he'd married starting tomorrow, if her sources were right. Of course those sources also stated that that skank Faith was going to be attending Sunnydale as well. She was going to be a freshman though, apparently she'd missed so much school that they were throwing her in at the bottom, which Cordelia considered, was where trailer trash like her likely belonged.

She looked up as Willow came into the library along with her boyfriend, Oz. Cordelia was still trying to adjust to the concept that he was a werewolf. Like grows fur and pointy teeth every full moon kind of werewolf. It was just the kind of weirdness to be expected from these geeks. Gods, she was the only actual normal one there. Sometimes she thought they wanted her around more as a mascot than anything else.

Buffy, her mother, and ... Cordelia actually screamed and leapt back as she recognized Angel following the diminutive blonde slayer through the library door.

All eyes in the room turned towards her at the sudden commotion, but as they followed her tremulously pointing finger it was soon apparent why she was so startled.

Angel looked at the accumulated Scoobies, and felt a flush of guilt over his actions so long ago, when as Angelus he played cruel mind games with every one of them, and actively tried to kill or turn most of them as well.

He longed to melt back into the shadows and hide, but before he could do so much as move, a long forgotten voice spoke up from behind him, "Move it, Deadboy, we've got a meeting to hold."

Angel turned and made out the lopsided grin of the man he'd last seen in Hell almost a hundred years before. "Harri, Xander?" he asked, as if unsure of the identity of the still young looking man before him.

Xander just shook his head and reached out and pushed Angel lowly off to the side, allowing the two women with him, one of whom felt like a Slayer, to brush past and into the library proper.

Angel thought he recognized the older looking of the two, the brunette, as the Slayer, Faith, whom Xander had supposedly kidnapped and taken to either Toronto, or Hell, depending on if you listened to Buffy or Whistler. Based on the girl's apparent condition, Angel was willing to give more credence to Buffy, at the moment.

With an unneeded sigh, Angel continued into the library, and selected the most remote chair he could, still feeling the accusatory glares of most of the room's occupants despite the distraction provided by Xander and the two young women he'd arrived with.

Somehow he had the feeling this was going to be a long night.

Xander looked around the room and smiled at the familiar faces.

Stepping to the center of the open area made by the relative positions of most of the room's occupants, Xander took a deep breath and put on a big smile. "I suppose you are wondering why I've called you all here today?"

As confused glances passed amongst the gathered attendees Xander laughed happily, then calmed himself, "Dang, I've been waiting for years for a chance to say that."

Looking around once more he continued, "But I'm glad you all could be here. And I'm even more glad I could be here. But as for the reason I asked us all to get together, there are several things we need to go over, and rather than do it over and over again, I figured it would be most efficient to get everyone together so we'd only have to go over it one time. First of all, for those of you with really short term memories, or who were busy in Hell at the time, I'd like to introduce my wife, Cat. Cat incase anyone didn't know is a genuine Goddess, descended from both my own patron God, Janus, and the Egyptian goddess, Bast. She has two brothers, one, Maahes, with whom she shares both her parents, and a half-brother Nefertem. And in case any of you haven't met her yet, I'd also like to introduce you to our newly adopted daughter, Faith."

Joyce cleared her throat and sat up, a look of concern on her face, "Xander, don't you think you two are a bit too close in age to Faith to consider 'adopting' her?"

Xander shrugged, and replied, "Not really. Cat herself is several thousands of years old."

Joyce looked skeptically at the small blonde girl she had only seen briefly at the wedding, and considered that the oldest person in the room also appeared to be the youngest, but she shifted her gaze back to her own daughter's contemporary and asked him, "And what about you, Xander?"

Xander shrugged again, "Well, I was seventeen when I went to Hell. I spent at least twenty years there, likely as much as twenty five or possibly even thirty, I wasn't really able to keep a calendar after all. So that would make me at least thirty seven, or as much as forty years old. I know I don't look it, but that's my physical age. But on top of that I still have not only over three thousand years of memories from the Immortal Alexander persona I inherited that Halloween, but also the almost two thousand years of experiences from LaCroix, and several hundreds more of other experiences from various other sources to draw upon. I think I can make rational and mature enough decisions that I can assist Faith in becoming the best person she can be. And for times when a more, mature, appearance is required," Xander vanished in a flash of light, an almost strobe effect filling the room as Cat vanished a moment later, both figures being replaced instants later by older looking people. The man, who bore a vague resemblance to Xander spoke first, "We can handle that as well, using our fully documented personas as Lex and Kitty Januson, Faith Januson's legal parents, and not coincidentally, the new owners of the apartment complex across the street, where we shall reside in the basement."

Cat, or rather Kitty, broke in, "Although most of the Apartment, other than the guest room and some storage areas will actually be in Toronto."

Two more strobe effects later, and Xander and Cat were back to normal. "Any more questions?" Xander asked.

Faith, who had settled next to Cordelia whispered, "I have the best fu, er, parents."

Jenny spoke up, "Xander, how did you just do that? I am well aware of your abilities before your, er, stay in Hell, and I don't recall actual transformation amongst them, only rudimentary illusions. The surge of power I felt when you changed was significant."

"He's a God now." Cat explained with a proud smile.

Angel was in shock. "Harris is a God?" he asked, "Did you say Xander is an actual god? I know he married you, but just because you're a goddess doesn't mean he becomes an actual God, does it?" he looked towards Giles and Jenny in confusion.

"Er," Xander said, flushing with embarrassment "Yeah. Well, I suppose that brings us to the second part of why you are all here. Um, see, when Cat and I got married, well, you know how they say that the two become one in the services sometimes? Well, uh, for us, that's kind of how it worked."

Cat grinned and took over, "Xander and I merged, he became a part of me, as I did of him, and our powers were joined as well. Technically, I think Xander and I are only one God, even though there are two of us, but it doesn't really matter unless we are trying to do something really hard."

Buffy said softly, "They rebuilt the Hellmouth, from scratch last night. I think that was hard for them, 'cause Xander disappeared."

All the eyes turned to her, then in confusion back to Xander and Cat.

Willow was the first to speak this time, "Why?"

Xander shrugged, "Cat got rid of it. Turns out it's kind of important, unless you want a spontaneous breach to Hell just opening at random somewhere, or a higher level demon deciding to open a portal here to earth whenever they feel like invading. So we had to replace it. And it wasn't the opening that was as hard as the setting it to be self-sustaining. But it was a good lesson, we learned how to make a permanent portal, like the one we set up earlier this evening from here to Toronto."

"So you guys are welcome to come hang any time you want. And instead of just Bronzing it, we can hang at that really cool club they live over. They have a killer band." Faith said. Leaning over to speak more quietly to Oz, she added, "Vampires. It'd totally rock if you jammed with them sometime, though. They played some bitchin music last night."

Oz nodded speculatively, then turned his attention back to Cat and Xander.

"But the real reason I wanted all of you here was because of incidents like last night with the Hellmouth. When Janus came by, he reminded us both that the Creator had some valid reservations about our even returning here at all. Reservations we can understand, and don't want to bring to fruition. So we need to lay down some ground rules. It may sound mean, or selfish, or cruel, but they are not negotiable. And rule one is we can't help at least not significantly."

Cat spoke up, expanding a bit on what Xander had said, "It's possible that we could eliminate every demon and vampire in Sunnydale."

Xander smirked, "Possible? Cat, there's a sixty mile crater in a desert which indicates we could do a pretty good job if we didn't care about collateral damage."

Cat gave an embarrassed shrug but went on, ignoring the interruption, "But we won't. We won't even consider it, so don't ask. The sad truth is that it's up to you guys to face and defeat the challenges here in Sunnydale. And if we faced them for you we'd be denying you the chance to do so on your own. Does that mean we're going to sit back and just watch, no. We'll help where and when we can, we'll even patrol with the rest of you, but we won't jump in and save the day just because we can, even if you beg us to. We can't."

Xander smiled sadly and added, "In other words, the next time an apocalypse threatens, don't ask us to just make it go away. Please. Because in order for us to be here at all, we had to agree not to alter the Balance. See, a long time ago people asked the Gods for help all the time. And mostly they got it. Over time, the requests came for help on smaller and smaller things, until it reached the point that all most people knew how to do was ask a God for help. Then one day the Gods realized what they were doing to the people, and stopped helping. And it was bad."

Cat took up, "Most of the people died. For no reason, other than they had no idea how to feed and clothe themselves, not even how to build houses, or do pretty much anything other than pray to their gods. My Mom was around back then, and her people, few that they were, were some of that minority who survived, but mostly because Mom would refuse to help more often than not. Her rule was simple, and I think it's the one we'll have to use, cruel as it can be. 'If there is any way they can do it themselves, let them try, even if they fail.' For Xander and I it means he's going to have to stand there and watch his friends risk their lives to fight demons we could kill without any risk at all. The greater challenge for us will be not to intervene. But if we did, over time we'd begin to cripple you. We can't always be everywhere, and that means that no matter what we do, sometime, somewhere, someone is going to face a situation without us to help them. And if you've become dependant on us jumping in to help, then the odds are without us there you'll die, whereas had you still been at the top of your games, you would have won. Which means we would have helped alright, but helped to kill you by making you less than you should have been."

"So what, you're just going to stand back and watch Buffy take on a gang of demons?" Angel asked, suddenly angry at them, as well as feeling guilt over having done exactly that himself, and that was as Angel, not when the demon was in control.

Xander answered, "No. We'll likely fight. But only on a purely physical level. I won't hesitate to use Kusanagi to help you guys face any threat, but at the same time I won't do more than I could have last year, after Halloween. Because if Cat and I start tilting the balance of power, the other side will compensate, to balance the scales, but they usually tend to overcompensate, and that would be bad for everyone."

Buffy had to ask, "So you will help, but you won't do it for us, is that what your saying?"

Xander and Cat shared a glance before both nodding. "Yes." Cat said.

"Where we can, as long as all we're doing is helping, and not doing it for you, or worse, overdoing it and giving the other side a reason to send in some higher powered players." Xander added.

"This is bullshit." Jonathan said softly.

"Why?" Faith asked bristling at his tone.

"Because, like they said, they could take care of whatever monsters came along without breaking a sweat. But instead they're going to sit back and let people die while they watch us go out and try to stop them." Jonathan exclaimed.

Xander opened his mouth, but Cat cut him off, "Not quite. We'll help. But your right, there may well come a time when we sit on our asses letting people die who we could have saved, possibly even some of you. But that's because the alternative, essentially reducing you all to the status of pets is unacceptable."

Xander added, "If, and this is a big if, we think there is no other way, we'll help. But we'll let you do the lifting if we think you can, even if there is a good chance you'll get crushed in the process. Not because we don't care, but because as was pointed out to us, to do otherwise is unfair. It's unfair to you, for us to steal the possibility of an accomplishment out of the fear you might not succeed. That said though, if your monsters are dumb enough to cross our paths, we won't hesitate to take them down. In fact, we've specifically been authorized to destroy anything which challenges us directly. But we won't go out hunting for them. Patrolling yes, searching for a specific demon or group of demons, no. This isn't something I want to do. Trust me on that, but all the same it's something we have to. Either that, or we have to leave. The Creator offered us basically three choices. First, sign the compact. That's what most gods and higher powers have done, on both sides of the equation surprisingly enough. If we did that, then we couldn't participate directly, instead we would have to chose a champion, and empower them to act on our behalf, like Janus has done with me. Our second choice was stay away. He assured us that there are plenty of realities where our interference would be welcomed. But that would mean never seeing you guys again, or if we did, doing so elsewhere or for really brief periods of time. The final, grudging option, the most difficult, is the one we've chosen. To try and minimize our impact on your lives, and unfortunately, your eventual deaths. Yes, we can and will act to save people, but we have to walk a tightrope every time we do so. The Creator recommended we not exceed the capabilities of our opponents in any given conflict, but agreed that we could get by as long as we set simple limits on how much and what types of power we will use, and stick to them. It was agreed that as long as we remained within the boundaries of what I was capable of before going to Hell, that it shouldn't upset the balance enough that those who back the demonic interests would be able to toss in a new Champion. But this is not something we can budge on, because by its very nature its a slippery slope, where our refusal to assist could only lead to hard feelings, so once more, please don't ask us to do anything. If we can, we will. If we can't we won't, but asking us will just mean we'll have to refuse. So please, just don't."

"Ok, Xander. We won't ask you for help, even if we're dying." Jonathan said, his dissatisfaction apparent to everyone in the room.

"Good. And now that that's out of the way," Xande looked over to Cat who grinned and pulled a bag seemingly out of nowhere. "we have some presents for all of you, which will let you call us when you aren't dying, or have a question about some new demon you've just encountered. No one said anything about not sharing information with you guys, and after my time in Hell, I'm familiar with quite an amazing number of demon types, and can tell you guys a lot about them, what their strengths are, what their weaknesses are, how to kill them,"

"What they taste like." Faith interjected with a grin.

"Yes, well, the answer to that is generally nasty. But back to the point, these phones are designed to allow you to call us both here in Sunnydale, and in Toronto. They also have local service here in Sunnydale, but the speed-dial connection to each other bypasses that and uses a special channel, which will literally work anywhere in both worlds, even at the bottom of a cave. Not that any of us ever find ourselves in such locations. But to work across a dimensional boundary there has to be an open portal or other connection for them to work, so if Cat or I go elsewhere, we will most likely be out of touch until our return. Also, you may want to carry a spare fully charged battery with you at all times. They won't work without power."

Faith grinned as she held her own sleek black flip phone up to show it off, sliding a second battery out of her back pocket as well.

As Xander and Cat carefully passed the phones around, Xander added, "They are set to vibrate, not to ring. If you want them to ring, you have to open the flip and push the button on the screen to un-mute the phone. This is so that an incoming call won't draw attention to you by making noise."

The various Scoobies were still looking at their identical phones, each with their name and a local number impressed on the plastic cover for identification. Joyce was the first to speak, "Xander, we can't take these."

Xander fixed her with a gaze and said, "Yes you can. Look, communications can make the difference between life and death. While we can't go around fighting your fights for you, there's nothing that says we can't give you tools to help you do your jobs. And that's all these are, tools. If someone gets lost, you guys can track them through their phone. Cat and I could just go to them, but that could be a destabilizing use of power. However there's nothing in these phones, other than the phone-to-phone connections, which isn't simple human technology, and that includes the GPS and mini-PCs. Granted, most of it's only on a drawing board here and now, but in other realities it's quite common, or even obsolete. So take the phones."

"But these numbers, they have local service. That means some company is providing them. Who's paying for that?" Joyce asked.

"We are." Xander said with a shrug.

"Well, that's why we can't take them. You two have enough expenses, especially if you're adopting Faith, you can't afford to pay for phones for all of us as well." Joyce explained.

Xander shook his head and replied, "Well, that's not quite true."

Faith smirked and replied, "They ripped off the Mob and set up trust funds."

As all eyes swiveled back towards Xander and Cat, a few expressions of surprise on the faces of those who hadn't been there earlier, Cat sighed and shook her head, "It wasn't the Mob, Faith."

Xander nodded, "That's right. It was several drug cartels." Seeing the confused faces he explained, "Last night, Cat and I were discussing the need for money here if we were going to take care of Faith. We'd need a physical address at a minimum, not to mention it's morally better to buy things than to just make them, unless, like these phones, you can't buy them because they don't exist. So we were considering what we could do for easy cash. And we stumbled upon the idea of doing a good deed, and getting paid at the same time. We selected several drug cartels which had shipments in progress, of either cash or drugs. From several we removed their cash, replacing it with mostly blank paper, and with their drugs we transferred them to other cartel's shipments, which we then insured would be intercepted. Any marked cash was also bundled with another cartel's money, any unmarked or untraceable bills removed, and those shipments were also flagged for interceptions. The net result today was several major drug busts, several failed deliveries, the belief on the pert of the ones who lost shipments entirely that the other cartel ripped them off, the belief on the parts of the ones who were busted being that someone in their organization was double dealing, and in both cases that there is a mole or leak of some sort, either to the competition or the police. We expect three to be several fatal adjustments to their structures, as well as the long-term ramifications of losing their conduits, and the resources represented by those shipments. It won't put the cartels out of business, but it will hurt them. And we ended up with several millions of dollars with which to fund our needs here in Sunnydale."

Cat smiled and added, "And that brings us to the last piece of business for tonight. All you kids are going to college. We've set up a Scholarship Trust Fund for each of you which will cover tuition, housing, living expenses, books, materials, and transportation for up to eight years."

Joyce, who had been worried about how she was going to finance Buffy's school next year was torn by both relief and worry at the same time, "Xander, Cat, I don't think they can accept the money, I mean, it's stolen."

Xander shrugged, "More redirected. Look, if we hadn't intercepted it, it would have gone to reward the drug cartels. As it is, instead they have increased expenses and lowered profits. If we could make that a permanent condition, I bet they'd close up shop and go away. If we had left it with the marked or traceable funds, the government would have seized it, and eventually destroyed it, like they do the rest of the money they confiscate. This way it's doing some good. It allows us to productively participate in the local economy, it allows the kids to get the educations they deserve, if for no other reason than as a thank-you for risking their lives to help others."

Joyce looked around the room again, locking eyes for a bit with Giles and Jenny before nodding reluctantly, "Ok. I suppose it's ok. But you really shouldn't make a habit of it."

Xander shrugged, "We won't. It would be just as bad to make everyone here dependant on us for money as it would be to make them dependant on us for help in other ways. The only one here who will be getting more than just the scholarship is Faith. Just in case anything happens to us, we set her up with a trust fund, but to draw more than the interest, she'll have to match the principal herself."

"How much is the principal?" Cordelia asked, glancing over at the brunette slayer.

"One million dollars. If she shows the trustees she has one million, she can have full control of the fund. But she has to obtain that million on her own." Xander explained.

Cordelia's eyes widened as she considered that Faith was rich, but only if Faith managed to get rich first. In a way that sucked. You couldn't have the money unless you didn't need it.

"Well, I think that's all for now. Unless anyone has any questions?" Xander asked.

Everyone looked at one another but there were no queries so Xander grinned. "Ok then, We're going to do a quick patrol then head in to work. Cat and I have to be there by six PM, Toronto time, which is about ten thirty locally. Since we've set up the permanent portal the timeframes should stay synched, which means to be at school by eight in the morning here, we need to be up and out of there by four thirty local time. Since we work 'till three, it'll make for some short nights. Fortunately we don't need that much sleep. And if we do, we can always break the portal and reconnect it later, angling it so it connects to about the same time we broke it in the first place."

Jonathan asked, "Does that mean you could open a portal to previous time, like a time machine?"

Xander nodded, "Sort of. But what you'd end up doing is splitting a new reality off, one which you visited, and the one you didn't. You can't go where you weren't, the only way to do that is to make a new place where you went when you did."

Angel frowned, "I'm confused. Harris, what are you babbling about?"

Willow bounced, "Ooh, I get it! If you go to a time in the past which you hadn't been to before you went, you really go to a variation of that time, because any effect you have would change the future and cause a paradox, so instead your arrival causes a whole new reality!"

Xander nodded. "Exactly."

Angel frowned, "But if it's a whole other reality then you aren't really going to the past. Argh, my head hurts. I'm going back to the mansion. Glad to see you survived Hell, Harris. When I felt guilty at the thought of having left you there somewhere. Of course I hoped you were lucky and had been destroyed, since I hadn't heard of you in so long, and hadn't seen you in even longer."

"Yeah, about that. What happened to you in that fight where we got separated?" Xander asked, looking into the eyes of the vampire.

Angel shrugged, "I tried to find your body, then when I failed, I left. I'd seen you get killed and I figured something had eaten you something."

Xander nodded, "I had. Been killed. But I got better, as I tend to do these days. I looked around, but the camp was cleaned out, nothing was left."

Angel shrugged, "I assumed you were dead, so I took everything and moved on. It wasn't until years later that I started hearing stories about the human running around Hell killing demons and eating them. You were quite famous for a while there."

Xander looked skeptical, "And yet you never tried to contact me?"

Angel shook his head, "Not really, whenever I heard about you, it was always how someone or another had defeated you, or how you had defeated some powerful Hell Lord, which was unlikely, I just assumed most of the stories were false. I mean, I knew you, and you shouldn't have lasted as long as you did before I saw you killed."

"You mean you were afraid to risk your neck to see if I was still around. What did you do, just hide in a cave all the time? I never heard about you at all." Xander asked.

Angel flashed back to the crevice he'd spent almost a hundred years in, only venturing out to feed when the Hunger overtook him and tried to change the subject, "You know the Powers That Be think you kidnapped Faith and took her to Hell with you."

Xander, sensing what the vampire was trying decided to let him off the hook, and asked, "Why?"

"They couldn't see anything that happened last night. Or most of today, from what Whistler told me when he woke me up this afternoon. All they knew was that you were seen with Faith, that the Hellmouth opened, and that neither of you were around afterwards. They had to choose a new Slayer. Some Australian girl, from what I hear."

"What?" was echoed at once by Faith, Buffy, Giles, Jenny, and Joyce. Willow, Oz, Amy, and a still upset Jonathan looked over from where they had been talking to Cat at the outburst.

"Well, they thought Xander had stolen the Slayer. So they Choose a new one, to replace her. Faith's not The Slayer anymore. Just a normal girl again." Angel explained.

Faith frowned at that, silently testing her Slayer Senses, which if anything seemed sharper than ever. Turning to Buffy, she asked, "B, you wanna test that theory with a little Arm Wrestling?"

Buffy shrugged, and made her way over to the table. Everyone gathered around as the two girls settled at opposite sides of the table and linked hands. "Ready?" Buffy asked. At Faith's nod she said, "Go."

Immediately Faith's hand was pushed back several inches, but then it stopped. And as everyone watched, Faith pushed Buffy's hand back the other way, crossing the starting point and slowly forcing it down until the back of her wrist gently touched the table. Faith smirked as she relaxed the pressure slowly, letting go of Buffy's hand. "Nope, still got it."

Buffy pouted. "You beat me."

Faith smirked. "Yep."

Suddenly Buffy looked confused, "But, last time, I beat you."

Faith recalled that contest. After several minutes of each girl moving back and forth a few inches off center, Faith had been distracted by a vampire entering the Bronze, and her attention had wavered long enough for Buffy to slam her hand onto the table. "Yeah, no vamps, other than Fang over there to distract me this time."

Willow shook her head though, "No, last time, you two were at it like forever. You just beat Buffy. Almost like it wasn't a real contest."

Xander frowned at that and looked at his new daughter, then across the table at Buffy. "Buff, can I try that?"

Buffy frowned, "Um, Xan, you were faster, but not stronger, remember?"

Xander grinned, "That was before, trust me Buff, you don't have to worry about that. I just want to compare your top strength against Faith's. See how much, if any of a difference there is."

Buffy shrugged and placed her arm on the table again. Xander sunk down opposite her, and met her grasp. "Ready?" Xander asked. At Buffy's nod, he said, "Go." and just sat there, holding Buffy's hand. Buffy frowned and her look of concentration deepened. The table creaked, and Buffy's chair slid across the floor a bit, but their hands never moved. Finally Xander nodded, "Ok Buff. That's enough."

Buffy scowled as she relaxed and let go of Xander's hand.

"What just happened?" Amy asked.

Willow whispered in awe, "Xander just sat there and let Buffy push his hand as hard as she could. He didn't even try to push back, just hold position."

Amy was shocked at the casual show of strength. "Wow."

Xander on the other hand was now looking at his smirking daughter. "Faith, your turn."

Faith shrugged, and settled herself across the table in the seat Buffy had just vacated.

She reached out and grabbed Xander's hand and asked with a grin, "Ready, Pops?"

Xander simply nodded, so Faith surged her arm, muscles flexing, and chair scraping along the floor as she grunted out, "Go!" but the only movement was from Faith. Xander's arm remained in the same spot, as though it were a fixed point in the universe.

The table started to creak again, and Faith's chair was slowly twisting, when Xander finally said, "Ok, that's good enough Faith. Thanks."

Faith frowned as she relaxed, letting go of Xander's hand and massaging her arm.

Everyone was looking at Xander however, noting the look of intrigue on his face, a look matched by Cat across the room. Finally he spoke, "Faith's stronger. Not by a whole lot, but where Buffy seems about ten times as strong as a powerful man, Faith is closer to eleven times as strong. I don't know why that should be though."

"If Faith was indeed replaced as the Slayer, then she should have lost her strength at that time. As best as the council could determine, the only reason Buffy has continued to exhibit her gifts was because she was dead when Kendra was Chosen, so her powers were not stripped. But Faith hasn't died, so she should have been stripped, even were she in some alternate reality, as soon as she returned here her powers would have been stripped. There is actually a record of that happening once to a slayer long ago, she went through a portal in pursuit of some demons, and upon her return her powers were gone, as another Slayer had been called in her absence." Giles said.

Faith frowned, "But instead I got stronger?" She looked over at the perplexed looking Xander and Cat and asked, "You guys didn't do anything to me, did you?"

Xander shook his head as Cat just shrugged before replying, "I don't think so. We didn't Empower you if that's what you're asking."

"Empower her?" Joyce asked.

"When a God or Demon chooses a Champion, they share some of their essence with them, allowing their Chosen One to tap a portion of their power. That process is called Empowering. When a Slayer is Called, the same thing happens, the Slayer Essence being drawn to the person marked as the Chosen One, and Empowering them. But if another is Chosen, then the Empowerment is withdrawn, returning them to their normal state. If indeed a new Slayer has been Called, then Faith should have lost her Empowerment, but instead she seems to have gained a more powerful one somehow."

Faith was the one to break the ensuing silence, softly asking "What if, there was like another Slayer Essence out there? A different one entirely."

Giles frowned, "There's just the one. Buffy is an exception for some reason, but there isn't more than one Slayer Essence in this reality."

Faith nodded, "Yeah, but what about another reality?"

"What do you mean? Are you referring to Xander's Toronto?", Giles asked.

Faith nodded, "Yeah."

Giles shook his head, "That doesn't make sense. Buffy was there as well, for Xander's wedding. It didn't make her any stronger, although come to think of it, her healing has been remarkably enhanced since around that time. But nothing else."

Faith shook her head, "Yeah, but like they said, Buffy's not really The Slayer, I was. Not anymore, apparently, but I was when I went there. And when I did, I felt all shivery for a moment, right after I arrived. Then I felt all full of energy, despite it being when I normally would crash. Then, when I was downstairs, I was talking to these Vampires, and they were telling me that the Slayer was just a legend and shit. But what if there just wasn't a slayer there, so that's why they didn't know. No one had Chosen a Slayer so the Slayer Essence was just waiting for a Slayer to show up. Then I showed up, all Slayery, and so the Essence Empowered me, then the Pricks That Be chose a new slayer here, but not there, so maybe I lost the Slayer Essence from here, but I still have the one from there, and that's why I'm stronger. Because aren't their Vamps supposed to be stronger or something than ours?"

Cat had a proud look on her face as she answered, "Faith, honey, that makes sense. Yes, the vampires there are stronger than the ones here. Faster too, and able to fly."

Faith got a dreamy expression on her face as she asked, "Woah, would that mean I could fly?"

Cat shrugged, "I don't really know. We'd have to research it and see. No jumping off buildings until you know if and more importantly how to fly, do you got that young lady?"

Faith just nodded while Buffy pouted, softly complaining to Willow, "I was there first. Why didn't I get bonus power?"

Angel had headed back to brood in his Mansion and try to figure out what to tell Whistler when the Powers That Be's Balance Demon came by to check in with him the next time.

He expected a visit soon, because as long as Xander was here, it seemed that the PTB couldn't see anything going on in town. At least that was Angel's theory, based on the times Xander showed up yesterday and today, the times he and Cat had apparently left town to "rip off the Mob" as Faith liked to put it.

And then there was Faith, the supposedly ex-Slayer who seemed stronger than ever. What would they make of that? Should he even mention her, other than the fact that she was back, and indeed hadn't gone to Hell, but rather to Toronto, however, not Toronto on this Earth, as he had first assumed, but an alternate Toronto, somewhere else.

He was standing in the kitchen, drinking from a jar of slightly stale blood Buffy had brought for him from the butcher when he heard the sounds of Whistler's arrival in the livingroom. Setting the jar back into the refrigerator, he turned to make his way to the front of the house to meet his contact.

Oz had headed to the Bronze for the evening, the Dingos being scheduled to perform that evening, Joyce was back at home, Giles and Jenny were in the library with the "Coven", which consisted of Amy, Willow, and Jonathan, and Faith, Buffy, Cat, and Xander were out on patrol.

It was a rather boring patrol. The four were making too much noise to be able to sneak up on anything, and when they were spotted by the local nightlife, the vampires and demons generally made tracks in the opposite direction as fast as they could, the older ones recognizing the returned Harris, and having heard stories already about his recent visit, followed by a voluntary return to Hell, others recognizing the taller blonde with him as the Slayer, and a few of them simply concerned by any group that could get away with making that much noise out at night in a place like Sunnydale. So it was only the very new, or the very foolish which approached the quartet of hunters, and none of them lasted long enough to regret their decision. Those who didn't meet a swift end as Kusanagi flashed through their neck, or weren't literally shredded as a result of falling within Cat's reach, were impaled by one of the other two girls on their matching stakes.

Faith was really happy with her stake, even though she hadn't thought up a wicked cool name for it like Buffy had for hers. Of course Buffy had had a long time to think up the name for her stake, Xander's Big Point. It was the last stake Xander had carved for her before his trip to Hell. She had carried it with her from that night on, thinking of it as her Lucky Stake, and it had never failed her, until the night she faced the Snyder Demon, a six foot tall heavily muscled version of the High School Principal, who was in reality an Egyptian war god named Maahes, and Cat's older brother. When Buffy had tried to stake the apparent demonic principal with the weapon it had shattered, and Buffy had practically burst into tears on the spot, her conflict with the demon almost forgotten with the destruction of her last memento of her lost friend. As a sort of apology for his part in the weapon's destruction, Maahes had recreated it from its scattered components, lending some of his essence as well, blessing it and making it a genuine Holy Weapon, able to destroy Vampires with just a scratch, since Maahes was a Sun God, and thus his blessing carried with it the power of the sun. The weapon was also almost indestructible now, having been recreated and blessed by one of the more powerful gods out there, making it Buffy's most prized possession. Cat, upon learning the full history of Xander's Big Point (and stifling any smirks brought on by alternate connotations of the weapon's name) had promptly crafted her daughter a similar stake, fitting it's grip, as Xander had done, to the exact contours of the girl's hand, then, as her brother had done imbuing it with her blessing, and the power of the sun, making it, just like Xander's Big Point an almost indestructible Holy Weapon, and thus incredibly deadly to any vampire or demonic essence.

They had finished their sweep of the sixth graveyard, having only encountered seven fledglings and a single aggressive demon, and were making their way towards the seventh graveyard when Xander spotted the bar. "Let's drop in on Willie, and see if he's herd anything useful, what do you say, girls?"

"Who is Willie?" Cat asked, rather than simply looking into her husband's mind for the information.

Buffy smirked, "Willie is a local bar owner. Thing is he runs a Demon Bar, catering to the local demons. We have an arrangement. He keeps me informed, and I keep from killing all his patrons and tearing his place down."

Xander smirked, "Buffy, remember what we decided? Willie would provide a valuable community service even if he didn't act as a snitch, every demon that's in his place is one less demon that's at large causing problems. If a Vampire wants to buy it's blood from Willie instead of eating people, that's a GOOD thing, and should be encouraged. I hope you haven't been killing his patrons again like you did that first time."

Buffy looked away from her friend, a slight blush rising to her cheeks as she replied, "Only when they attacked me. That's ok, isn't it? I mean, if they attacked me it was ok for me to slay them, wasn't it?"

Xander nodded, "Yeah, and it proves a point on occasion. As long as you don't start making the Alibi Room an unsafe place to be, which would discourage demons from hanging out there, that's fine. Anyhow, let's go see what Willie has to say."

Willie looked up as four people came in the door of his bar.

His first instinct was to run. His second was to piss himself. Instead he managed to just stand there like a statue.

While he didn't recognize all four of the newcomers, he did recognize three of them, and that was bad enough.

The first to draw his attention, always the first to draw his attention was the taller of the two blondes, the Slayer, Buffy Summers, feature performer in both his erotic dreams, and nightmares.

To her left was a shorter, younger looking blonde girl whom Willie had never seen before. Nor was he aware of anyone new running with the Slayer.

On her right, was a taller brunette, who although he had never met her, Willie knew she had to be the impossible Second Slayer he'd been hearing about lately. Apparently she'd been making a name for herself for almost six months on the east coast before heading out here to Sunnydale for some unknown reason.

It was the man behind the three beautiful women though which caused Willie's blood to turn to ice in his veins, made his heart seize up, and caused his head to go all dizzy with the release of adrenalin. While Willie hadn't seen his face in over six months, that hadn't been long enough for him to forget what Xander Harris looked like. So Willie knew perfectly well who had just walked into his bar with two Slayers. And which of the three was likely to be the most dangerous. Sure, Buffy killed the odd demon and vampire here or there when they annoyed her during her visits. But the first time, the only time Harris had visited the Alibi Room there had been more dust to clean up than after a dozen of Buffy's visits. Xander hadn't attacked any of his victims that night, they'd all gone after him, first one, then three, then an even dozen. And none of his sixteen assailants had lasted longer than it took them to get within the apparent human's reach. Apparent because it was later determined that not only was he faster and stronger than a Vamp, but somehow Harris could fly. Rumor had it he was Chosen Champion for a god, possibly Janus, and thus was not someone to cross, or annoy. And now he was here. Willie wished he'd gone on that vacation he'd been thinking about.

"Willie." Buffy said, slinking up to the bar. "How's it going?"

All attention had turned to the newcomers, some drawn from the bartender's reaction, others drawn by the sudden focus by those around them. But within moments all sound in the bar had ceased as everyone took in the scene.

"Slayer." Willie said softly.

The brunette grinned and cocked a him as she said, "Didn't know ya knew me. So you're Willie."

Willie blinked at her then reluctantly nodded.

"Well, my name's Faith. And B's been filling me in on your little place here." The brunette said.

The shorter blonde spoke up, her voice a soft unaccented alto as she said, "Faith, be nice to the poor man."

Faith just smirked then shrugged. "Ok."

Harris cleared his throat, drawing Willie's, as well as the rest of the patrons attention to himself. "I just wanted to drop in and say, 'Hi', let everyone know I'm back, and that it would be a really good idea for folks to behave themselves in here, instead of getting into trouble out there somewhere."

Buffy nodded and added, "Although it almost looks like the word had already gotten out, it's been so quiet tonight." She paused a beat and asked softly, "Any reason why that would be?"

Willie swallowed, then looked slowly around his bar. Everyone knew that Willie couldn't keep a secret. Hell, everyone knew that Willie wouldn't even try. Yet for some reason everyone seemed to tell Willie the Snitch all sorts of things, almost as though they wanted him to know, so he could pass it on. It had made him a successful owner of a Demon Bar, despite being no more than a normal human, something most of his clients would consider for lunch. But sometimes he wished that whatever it was about him that made people share their secrets with him, whatever it was that made the demons not want to eat him, but rather trust him despite knowing better, didn't exist. Times like this with the whole place waiting to hear what he had to say. "Um, all I know is that the Powers are looking for your friend Harris there. They say he came through the Hellmouth last night, kidnapped the Brunette Slayer, Faith, and dragged her back through the Hellmouth to Hell. And then they said he came back again today, possibly to finish off a set by grabbing you, or possibly by grabbing Angelus, who is also supposed to have returned from Hell somehow."

Gasps circulated the room, as various beings shifted uncomfortably in response to the declaration. No one wanted anything to do with something powerful enough to come and go as it pleased from Hell. After all, they may be demons, but they weren't stupid.

Buffy nodded, "Well they're half right. Obviously Xan's back. Bt he didn't take Faith to Hell. And he's not here for Angel or me. Any idea where these Powers may be?"

Willie shrugged, "I haven't seen their guy tonight. He was in here last night, lookin' for Faith, but he hasn't been back since then. I've just heard from folks here and there that he's nosin' about today lookin' for Harris."

Xander smiled then handed Willie a card. "Here. If he comes in, call me. I'll come by and help him find me." He looked at the board on the back wall and smiled. "In fact, I'll put a few copies of my card on the board, there." He raised his voice, not that he needed to, as everyone present could clearly hear everything, the bar was so uncharacteristically silent, "A few of you might want to take the number down. Keep it with you. I know not all Demons are out to cause trouble, some of you want to just be left alone, some even might want to help folks out now and then. Well, if any of you stumble on something I or the Slayers should know about feel free to call and leave me a message. It'll help keep those of you who frequent this place on our good side, if we get the occasional tip from you folks which helps us save the world now and then."

Xander walked to the board and stapled a stack of cards to it, using the same trick Cat had done the night before with the soda, so that however many were pulled off the stack, there would always be five or more left. The stack could grow as deep as ten, if no one tore one off for a while.

All eyes in the bar tracked him as he made his way back towards the girls, reaching an arm out to encircle the shorter blonde. "Let's go." He said softly.

The blonde bounced up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning towards Willie and asking softly, "This agent of the Powers who's looking for my Husband, what's he look like?"

"Big. Silver. Covered in metal looking horns and armor. You can't miss him." Willie replied.

The blonde nodded, then turned towards the door as well, the two Slayers following behind.

As the door closed behind them, voices started up again in the bar. Most of the conversations seemed to center around the latest bit of information, namely that Harris was indeed back, and he now had a wife.

After checking two more cemeteries, dusting one more vampire and chopping up a single demon which leapt out at them from some bushes, the group turned for the library.

It was as they were crossing the school's lawn that they finally encountered trouble, or rather, trouble encountered them. The previously described silver demon suddenly stepped out of the bushes alongside the building and smiled at them. "Good evening. My name's Skip. I'm sorry to say I'm here to kill you."

Buffy moved into a ready position, her stake firmly grasped in her hand as she said, "Well, Skippy, I don't want to die, so how about I just kill you instead."

The silver demon barely glanced at the blonde, shaking his head dismissively, "Not you, Pretender. I'm here to kill him." He said, nodding at Xander.

"Um, why?" Xander asked.

"Well let's see. First, you seem to have disrupted nearly every destiny in this entire town. Second, you kidnapped the Slayer, so the Powers had to choose a new one. Hi Faith, sorry about the loss of your powers, but we really thought he'd taken you back to Hell for some reason, and we need a Slayer here, you know. If you keep a low profile though, you can probably lead a normal life now." Skip replied in a friendly tone.

Faith, who had sunk into a posture mirroring Buffy's just smiled, "It's no big deal, seems I got a better Empowerment somehow to replace it. I'm stronger than B now. And I might be able to fly and shit. We don't know yet."

Skip blinked at that revelation before looking back at Xander, "What demonic designs did you ply upon this girl while you had her in Hell, Harris?"

Xander shook his head, "Look, there's been some sort of misunderstanding. I have no arguments with the Powers That Be, other than the fact that their flunkies keep trying to kill me that is. But heh, if they'd leave me alone, I'd leave them alone as well, and that goes for you too."

Skip shook his head sadly, "Sorry pal, no can do. I've got my orders. Kill you before you cause any more damage to The Plan. Kill the Pretender if she gets in the way or has allied herself with you, and kill the ex-Slayer if she's been corrupted as well, which it looks like she has."

Cat spoke up for the first time, asking softly in a dangerous voice, "And what about me?"

Skip looked over at the tiny blonde and shrugged with a smile, "They didn't say anything about you. Who are you, anyhow?"

Cat smiled coldly at the friendly seeming demon, "I'm his wife, Cat."

Skip shrugged, "Then I suppose I should kill you too, just to be sure you don't cause a problem later somehow."

Xander drew Kusanagi in a flash of movement so fast no one present could follow it, despite their various natures. The blade was at Skip's throat in less than an instant, as Xander hissed out, "Never threaten my wife." His eyes narrowed as he added, "In fact, never threaten my daughter either, or my friends. It could be bad for your health."

Skip rolled his eyes. "Look, I know your new to this, so let me explain something. I'm an Agent for the Powers. That means my natural abilities have been enhanced, much like when a human is Chosen as a Champion. Since I'm a Schoolnik demon to start with, that makes me pretty much impervious to damage from bullets, knifes, and even shiny swords like your little toy there. The only way to hurt me is to first break through my shell. And that's just about impossible. Now, will you just settle down and let me kill you so I can get back to what I was doing before the Powers summoned me?"

Buffy moved first, lunging forward and sweeping Skip's feet, causing him to drop down, leaving Xander holding Kusanagi against empty air. As Buffy plunged down towards the silver demon, she pointed her elbow so it would hit first, theoretically fracturing the plate over his chest and allowing her to stake him. Instead she screamed in pain as her elbow fractured, and a knife like blade shot out of Skip's arm and impaled her in the side.

Buffy rolled off the demon and curled into a ball, bleeding on the ground.

Faith was moving only instants after Buffy had started her attack, only she led with her new stake, not her elbow, and had thrown her entire body forward like a human missile. As a result she passed over Skip's prone form, but not unscathed, as with inhuman speed Skip had shot his other arm up and sliced Faith's torso and stomach open as she passed over him.

Cat moved forward at that instant and grasped the demon by the arm, jerking hard.

There was a crack and a splatter as the demon's left arm suddenly tore off, his chitinous shell fracturing under the unimaginable stress, caused between his base inertia and the energy involved in Cat's jerk.

Skip looked in shock at the gore spewing tear where his left arm used to be as he said in a strangely detached voice, "I'm almost impervious to damage. This isn't supposed to happen." As he slowly climbed to his feet.

"Well, what about this?" snarled Xander as he whipped Kusanagi back and then brought him around in a swing which clearly demonstrated his Immortal heritage as the blow cleanly decapitated the silver demon.

Skip's head flew through the air in a graceful arc, landing to roll to a stop on the ground several feet away as the now headless body crumpled to the ground.

Cat had already discarded the arm and had practically teleported to Faith's side, where she was busy turning her new daughter over.

Xander on the other hand swiftly resheathed Kusanagi, and dove for Buffy's prone form, reaching his hands out to cover the wound in her side.

Buffy's pain filled eyes were open as she whimpered and tried to flinch away from Xander's touch. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she croaked out, "You get him?"

Xander simply nodded and continued to work his hands against her skin, covering the bleeding wound with his palms. "Hold still Buff, this is goanna hurt." He said softly, meeting her eye with his own.

Buffy's eye suddenly shot wide open as an electrical shock seemed to surge from Xander's hands into her body, most of the pain centered around the gash in her side, but also orbiting around her shattered elbow. She opened her mouth to scream, but her lungs would not work as every muscle in her body suddenly locked up and then the world went dark.

Cat rolled Faith over onto her back, her eyes narrowing as she took in the long, deep gash in her daughter's stomach. She felt the surge of power as Xander poured his energy into Buffy, working to heal her wounds, even as Cat rested her own hands on Faith's still form. She could feel no sign of life from the girl beneath her, but didn't let that dissuade her from focusing her energy on the girl's wounds. As the quickening like force surged into the body beneath her hands, she felt Xander throw himself into her completely, strengthening her efforts enormously as she worked to heal the wound and restore life to the body beneath her hands.

Faith's back arched up off the ground and a cry of anguish emerged from her mouth as the lighting cascaded over her body, then she fell silent and slumped back to lay still once more on the grass before the High School.

The noise outside had drawn the attention of those in the library, so it was that the rest of the Scooby gang came rushing out to see Cat bent over Faith's prone form, Buffy's still body laying alone on the grass rolled into a ball, and the decapitated demon which was starting to melt into an ooze which would be gone in a few minutes.

"Buffy!" Willow cried out, rushing to her friend's side, alarmed at the amount of blood on and around her.

Giles started to move forward as well, but was distracted as he heard Faith scream out in pain, her body arching off the ground as a halo of bluish electricity crawled over her skin.

As the girl fell back to the grass, Cat sagged on top of her, and this drew the watcher's first priority, Willow having already made her way to his other Slayer.

Jenny shook her head, trying to clear it from the surge of power she'd just felt, a blast several magnitudes greater than any spell she'd ever encountered before, almost mystically blinding in its intensity.

Giles gently rolled Cat off of Faith's body and reached out to feel for a pulse, taking in the blood soaked and shredded clothes and the unblemished clothed beneath them. He sat back in relief a moment later as he detected a strong, steady beat beneath his fingers. Turning to the unconscious blond goddess, straitened her out so she was laying in what looked like a more comfortable position, before rising and making his way to Willow and his original Slayer.

Willow looked up in confusion at his approach, "She's all bloody, but there's no wound. She seems to be unconscious. What happened? Where's Xander?"

Giles took off his glasses as he straightened Buffy's body out leaving her head resting in Willow's lap. "I don't know. I suspect they had some sort of altercation with that demon over there, it appears to have been a Schoolnik, although what could have damaged it to such an extent I don't know, they are nearly impervious to damage, requiring a powerful focused blow to crack their chitin shell before you can injure the demon itself. It looks like something tore it's arm off, and then sliced off it's head."

Cat's voice came from over his shoulder, startling him. "I did that. The arm part. Xander was the head-cutter."

There was a flash of light and Xander stood there, looking around before moving over to Faith's side and leaning down to run his hand along her cheek, straitening out her mussed hair. He then closed his eyes and Faith's body seemed to flicker for a moment, after which her clothes had been replaced by new, clean, undamaged ones. Her leather pants had been replaced by a pair of tight denim jeans, and her shredded crop top had been replaced by a simple black T-shirt. Considering Xander was the source, the fashion selection wasn't as bad as it could have been.

"Wow." Amy said, having felt the surge of energy as Xander manifested the new clothes.

"Yeah, must save a ton on laundry costs." Jonathan muttered.

Cat reached down and grasped Buffy's blouse, and a moment later it was also intact and free of blood, but unlike Faith who had ended up wearing completely different clothes, Buffy was still dressed as she had been earlier that evening.

Buffy stirred with a groan and moved around. "Xan?" she asked softly in confusion.

Willow looked down at her friend's face with concern and asked, "Buffy? You ok?"

Buffy's eyes opened and she locked them on Willows concerned green orbs. "Yeah" she murmered, "I think so. What happened?"

"We were hoping you could tell us." Giles said wryly.

Buffy reached down and touched her uninjured side, running her hand over her undamaged blouse and scrunched her face in confusion, "I thought I got stabbed, by some silvery demon. I was dying, I think."

Giles looked over at the now almost featureless blob of ex-demon and shook his head, "If so then someone did a remarkable job of fixing you up."

Buffy made to sit up looking around, "Xander. He did it, he said it would hurt, and it really did." She said rubbing her hand in wonder over her uninjured elbow. "Then I think I blacked out."

Faith started to move, her mouth scrunching up as she struggled back to consciousness, guided by the soft voices nearby.

Opening her eyes she was grateful for the darkness in the sky above her, each star seeming like an impossibly sharp point of light as it punched painfully into her brain. Her head hurt. Her muscles ached. But most importantly, she was alive. And she knew for damn sure she'd been dead. She'd felt it as that demon sliced her from throat to stomach, and hadn't felt herself land on the grass, even. She should be gone, but she was still here. With Xander, her new father looking down at her with a look of worried relief on his face. "Hey Faith" he said softly, as though realizing how hyper-active all her senses were at the moment. "How you doing?"

Faith groaned as she sat up on the grass, taking in the concerned faces of the Scoobies all around her. "I'm alive?" she asked in confusion.

Xander nodded. "Yeah. We know that much. How you feeling?" he asked, his voice still so soft it was almost hard to hear.

"I hurt. But it's ok. How's B?" Faith asked.

Xander glanced over his shoulder and grinned back at her, "Doing fine. You want me to help you up? Want a drink or anything?"

Faith just shook her head and painfully pulled herself to her feet, swaying momentarily as a wave of dizziness passed over her. Xander reached out and steadied her then led her over to the other girl, who was still sitting on the grass, next to Willow with Cat and Giles standing around her.

Cat moved over silently with a huge smile and gave Faith a gentle hug which made her insides somehow feel better, the aches retreating before a wash of warmth. "Hey B, how are you? I saw that shiny guy stick you pretty bad."

Buffy nodded, "Yeah, but Xander fixed it." Buffy looked closer at her friend and her face scrunched up in thought, "Did you change your clothes?" she asked.

Faith frowned and looked down at herself, noting the simple black T-Shirt and black jeans which had replaced the kick-ass pair of leather pants Cat had made for her the night before, and the black tank top she'd had on earlier. She looked over at Cat, who silently indicated Xander with her eyes and shrugged, and Faith smiled and said, "Yeah, B, my old ones were pretty trashed, I think."

Buffy smiled, "It's a simpler look for you, but it's nice."

Faith frowned as she looked down again at the T-Shirt and Jeans, then shrugged. "I suppose." Starting to feel better, Faith asked her new friend a question, "Say, B, wanna come hang with me at the Vampire Club tonight? I'm not dead, and I wanna celebrate."

Buffy glanced at her Watcher, then looked over at Willow who shrugged. "Sure. But just for a while. I've still got school tomorrow, and well, I'm not a hundred percent myself at the moment, but yeah, I'm not dead either, and that's of the good. And the Vampire club sounds, interesting."

Willow looked hopefully at Faith and asked in a tiny voice, "Can I come?"

Faith just laughed and reached down to offer the redhead a hand up, "Of course you can come, Red. So can Melinda and Gandolph if they want."

Buffy looked confused at that for a moment before spotting Amy and Jonathan behind Faith also looking confused, then it clicked in her head, a witch and a wizard. "Cool. What do you say, Amy, Jono?"

The other two members of the 'Coven' looked at one another then shrugged, Amy answering for the couple, "Sure. Might be cool, and what the heck, we're not dead either."

Faith grinned and said "Cool. Let's go then. While Mom and Pop go to work, we'll have ourselves a 'Not Dead' party in the Vampire club. See if I can get Don Quixote and his band to sing for us."

"Don Quixote?" Buffy asked again not following Faith's code name.

"Yeah, this really cool vampire hottie. He's Spanish I think, and he's in a band. Real boyscout type, tried to warn me off from the nasty vampires in the club. I wanna get Wolfie to jam with them some time. It'd be wicked cool. Come on, I'll show you the way, and let you check out my new crib."

With that, like a pied piper, Faith led the way across the street, the other teenagers following her, as Giles and Jenny stayed behind watching, along with Cat and Xander.

Cat looked at Xander and asked, "Will LaCroix be okay with a gang of teenagers in his club?"

Xander shrugged, "I'm more worried about if the club will be ok with two apprentice witches, a pair of Slayers, and an up-and-coming wizard celebrating not being dead in it."

Cat just grinned as Jenny frowned at the thought of the type of mischief her charges may get into in her absence.

"This is the living room", Faith explained as they made their way into the underground apartment across the street from the school.

Although all of the Scoobies had seen the Toronto apartment a few weeks before at the wedding, this part was new, literally, being as how it was in Sunnydale and not in Toronto at all.

The door at the end of the steps leading under the apartments opened into a large nicely furnished room with three doors and one open arch leading out of it. The first door was the Front Door, which lay behind them. The second door was situated on the other side of the room, with the arch-way off to the right, a well lit den and kitchen, both familiar to the Scoobies from before, visible on the other side. And the final door was on the third wall.

"This door leads to Lex and Kitty's bedroom." Faith explained as she led the way across the living room towards the closed door.

The bedroom had a large bed, a walk in closet filled with clothes apparently meant for the older couple, and a huge bathroom, the main feature of which was a combination multi-head shower and roman style Jacuzzi tub, enclosed by a pair of sliding glass doors.

"Woah" Amy muttered looking at the decadent bathtub.

"Yeah, I guess they figured they should make the most of the extra room. Don't know how exactly they are planning on using both this bedroom and the other one though, Ma and Pa didn't say." Faith smirked before leading the way back through the bedroom to the Sunnydale livingroom.

"That's the actual Guest Room, although Ma did say I could have it if I wanted. I haven't decided if I want to sleep here or there. Who knows, I may do like the 'rents and keep both rooms, depending on what I feel like. Of course, the bathroom is over there." Faith indicated waving through the arch at the hallway with the small bathroom visible at it's far end. "What's cool is that both bedrooms have closets that open into the area here behind the arch. So this side has lots of extra room no one would ever look for, since they can see it through the arch. The 'rents were talkin' about setting up a secret training room and armory or something. Might be where we'll start meeting after you guys are out of school next year, unless Jeeves stays as Book-Man at Sunny-D." Faith said, indicating the open door which lead to a smallish bedroom beyond.

Jonathan studied the open archway leading to the familiar part of the apartment, which he knew from memory was actually in Toronto. Visually he couldn't see a thing to clue him in that what lay on the other side of the arch wasn't in this reality at all. But as Faith led the girls through the arch, and presumably through the stationary portal it contained, he did notice something odd, once through while he could see them, he couldn't hear a thing.

Finally shrugging, he followed the four girls across the threshold and into the alternate Toronto, noticing that there was no sensation at all to indicate he'd just traversed realities.

"..inda cool, in a weird Adams Family kind of way, I mean all he does is look at you and make faces. But as Cat pointed out, at least you know he's paying attention to you when you're here, he can, and apparently does spy on whoever he wants any time and place he wants and no one can tell." Faith was saying as she looked at the head which was looking back at her from it's clear box.

"But why are they keeping it at all?" Buffy asked.

Faith shrugged, "Apparently so he remembers not to tick off Ma or X again. Don't know if it's working or not, but they had a point, he's not likely to forget what happened the last time he got them mad at him. Not as long as he's got a head sitting in a box. And who knows, it might be useful to be able to get his attention whenever you really need it for some reason. Cat said that while you can't trust him, he never lies, always keeps his word, and isn't pure evil like some creatures."

The boxed head offered a friendly smile at the gathered teens at that but didn't try to speak, well aware of the futility of being heard outside its box, at least at the moment.

Jonathan turned away from the tour again and resumed his study of the interdimensional portal hidden in the archway. The design was interesting, a circular opening, cut off by the floor, with glass wings notching out a rectangle to either side which framed the opening, making it look and feel much larger than it really was. Assuming the actual portal was the size of the circle, the actual portal went a good three feet below the floor here. What fascinated him though was the spell he could feel on the glass and along the surface of the portal. While he couldn't detect the portal itself, which surprised him, he could detect the twinned illusion spells which hid the portal and made the two realities appear to be the same. Tracing the threads of magic, he felt how the spell here, which covered the entire wall along the plane of the piece of glass, seemed to scry on the other reality which appeared to be just on the far side of the wall. He could feel the threads of the spell reaching out and then bending in some way he literally couldn't follow, probably as they shot off across realities to Sunnydale. Also, along the wall here, he could feel the traces of the Sunnydale side of the illusion, although their presence was so faint he really had to concentrate to pick them out, amongst the almost loud traces of the scrying spell's visible side. All in all he was impressed. The combined effects of the two spells really did provide the illusion that the two realities really were the same place. Intrigued, Jonathan experimentally stepped into the center of the plane where he assumed the portal lay, and slowly turned himself, one half of his body in each reality as he tried to sense the portal in any way, and failed. All he could detect were the two sides of the scrying spells, which almost tickled his magical senses as he stood between them.

"Jonothan!" a voice heard only on his right side shouted in startlement.

Jonathan jerked and leapt away from the voice instinctively, ending up entirely back in Sunnydale, and he looked back through the spell and saw Amy shouting, presumably at him about something while the others looked on in sudden worry.

Stepping forward through the portal once more, he heard "..nk about it at all?"

At his confused look she demanded, "Well?"

Jonathan shrugged and said, "Sorry, I didn't hear you after your first shout, sound doesn't cross the portal. What were you upset about?"

Amy just scowled but Willow helped out by explaining, "You were standing in the middle of the portal, half here and half there. She was worried about what would happen to you if the portal had any problems or closed. You'd be sliced in half!"

Jonathan frowned as he considered that, he really hadn't thought about the fact that he was risking his life by examining the portal that way. "I hadn't thought about it. I was just trying to see if I could detect it at all. The only thing I can feel are the spells which hide it. And those are pretty cool by themselves. I didn't know Xander or Cat could do actual spells."

Faith shrugged and said, "I don't know if they do or not."

Willow, always an expert on Xander, although not anywhere as up to date as she used to be piped up, "He used to be able to do some. Before, I mean, you know. Mostly illusions and stuff. Nothing really useful though."

"Well this is an illusion spell, but I can't find what's keeping it up. It's almost like it's an appliance that's been plugged into something for power. It's really cool. Maybe we could have them show us how they did it?" Jonathan explained, hoping to dispel Amy's anger at him for risking himself by challenging her with something new to learn.

For Willow it seemed to work, the redhead looking over at the portal with new interest, but Amy wasn't so easily deterred. "Well, no standing in the middle of dimensional boundaries while trying to figure it out, ok? I mean, you were just standing there, turning around in circles. I was scared something had happened to you."

Jonathan smiled at her and nodded, "Ok. No more lingering on the edges of realities. I promise."

Amy reneged at that and moved forward to give her boyfriend a deep and passionate kiss, making Jonathan almost regret his vow not to repeat the experiment if this was the result.

It was at that point that the front door banged open, revealing a familiar face from their previous trip to this reality, that of the Master Vampire, Lucien LaCroix.

"What is going on here?" he asked, looking around the room at the five gathered teens, his gaze passing over the arch to the other reality, then returning to it a look of confusion passing over his face as he did so.

Faith just smiled at him and said, "Hey Gramps." Turning to the others she asked, "Have you all met my new Grandfather, Lucien La-Claw?"

"LaCroix" the elder vampire returned absentmindedly then his focus suddenly sharpened upon the brunette once more his eyes briefly flashing gold as he demanded, "What did you say?"

Xander and Cat watched as Faith led her friends down the steps and into the apartment.

"Well, we should be getting over there too. It's almost time for us to go to work, and we still need to fill LaCroix in on both the modification we made to the apartment, and on the fact that Faith will be staying with us permanently." Xander explained to the two faculty members.

"You aren't going anywhere at the moment, we need to talk." A stern voice spoke from behind them.

Cat whirled around with a smile on her face, "Uncle Mike!" she cried as she launched herself between Giles and Jenny at the figure beyond them.

The Archangel smiled as he caught the diminutive goddess in his arms and returned her spontaneous hug. "Hey there Kiddo. How's the married life treating you?"

Cat just beamed at her favorite not-relative and replied, "We just adopted a kid. Go figure, less than a month, and already a family."

Mike frowned at that and said softly, "That's part of why I'm here. You know The Creator's been keeping an eye on you two, not that he hasn't always, but even more so lately. And he's concerned."

Cat frowned, "Concerned?"

Xander moved up next to his wife and silently wrapped an arm around her waist as Mike explained, "You do recall his worry about either disrupting the balance of power here, or worse, of stealing people's opportunities for successfully meeting the challenges which come before them, don't you?"

Cat nodded as Xander answered, "Yes. We just had a talk with our friends about it this evening, some of them weren't happy at the idea we would do less than we could to help."

Mike nodded, "I know. And that's the reason for the concern. You assigned yourselves limits. But already you exceeded them, in regards to your daughter and your Champion."

"What are you talking about?" Cat demanded.

"This evening, without your intervention, both girls would have died. Your daughter did die, in fact. Had you two been even slightly less powerful you would not have been able to bring her back on your own. But such an action far exceeds the limits you set and acknowledged only a few hours ago." Mike explained.

Cat frowned, "I, I couldn't let her die. You know that Uncle Mike, it wasn't her time. Not yet, not even close."

Mike nodded, "I know. Neither of the girls would have been injured tonight had it not been for events altered by your presence. Such is your natures, has always been, to a lesser extent, but it doesn't change the simple fact, you failed to constrain yourselves in this situation. I'm not condemning you, even The Creator understands the reasons behind your actions in this instance, and acknowledges that being who you are, you could do no less than you did. But it raises a flag, a reminder of just how difficult a task you have set before you."

Giles stepped forward, gaining all three's attention as he asked, "Would it be possible to perhaps bind their powers somehow, limiting their actions when on this plane, or in this reality?"

Mike shook his head, "Possible, yes. But only they themselves could do so, and thus they could break it under stress. And that is when they would be most likely to overstep themselves, as they did tonight."

Xander frowned as he considered the issue. He fully understood the concern being raised, and could see exactly how their actions earlier had indeed violated the constraints they had agreed to. Prior to his decent to Hell, he had not projected his Quickening to heal another, indeed throughout all of Alexander's memories he had never even tried such a task. While that didn't mean it would have been beyond him, the fact was that the first time he'd ever even considered the idea was when he faced the dying ex-host of the Goa'uld which stole Bast's name.

"So, what do you, or The Creator recommend we do?" Xander asked.

Mike shrugged, "The same as before, you could sign the Compact, or not, and either way allow your Champion to face her challenges alone, you could leave, so as not to be tempted, or you can try and be more faithful to your self-imposed limitations. Knowing the both of you, that's what you'll try. I was just supposed to stop by and point out just how easily you had already strayed. This incident was not a problem, you didn't act until they had both tried, and failed, and the event was not one they had been meant to face in any case. But it should be a good warning for both of you."

Xander nodded, and was about to thank the Archangel for reminding them to be more careful when Jenny spoke for the first time. "You keep referring to their Champion, we were wondering how it was that Faith after having been replaced as the Slayer was actually stronger than she had been before. Did Xander and Cat somehow do that?"

Mike shook his head, "No, she is Empowered by an ancient Slayer Essence, one which has laid untapped for centuries on the world where Xander and Cat were married. Once, long ago they had a Slayer who kept their Vampires in line, hunting down and eliminating the ones who preyed on mortals for sport, or who had become truly evil. But the line of potentials died out, several of the girls dying, or becoming Vampire without issue, until one day there were no more. The Vampires were forced to adapt, those who had once been Slayers taking upon themselves the task of enforcing a strict code, forming a core group which to this day refer to themselves as Enforcers. Faith, since she was an actual Slayer when she first visited that reality attracted the long lost Essence to herself. When the Powers here stripped her, they only stripped the local Essence, being both unaware of and unable to effect the foreign spirit. The Champion of the Undestined God is the other girl, the one Alexander revived and Empowered when the Powers discarded her with his own breath and life essence, the one who had already accepted the mantle of Champion from her friend, Ms. Summers."

Both Giles and Xander frowned at this, "But that was before anything had happened to me." Xander said, even as Giles removed his glasses with a "Good lord."

Mike shook his head, "Alexander, you should know by now that time is not linear. The Undestined God has always been, it shall always be. The fact that you and Cat had yet to meet, had yet to join, didn't mean you could not have a Chosen Champion. Answer me honestly, what were you doing in the cave that evening?"

"Saving Buffy. I, I couldn't let her just go off and die like that, no matter what everyone else said." Xander answered while Giles, Cat, and Jenny looked on.

Mike nodded, then asked, "And when you found her drowned in the pool, what did you do?"

"I pulled her out. I gave her CPR and Mouth-to-Mouth respiration, until she came back to life." Xander recalled.

Mike smiled, "So you shared your Essence with her, breathed your own life into her form and with all your will pulled her back from death. And how did you see her?"

Xander's eyes widened "As my hero, my protector, my, champion."

"Exactly. And so you selected her. Is it any surprise that a god who's primary power is to disrupt pre-planned events could empower their Champion even before knowing they existed? I mean, such an act is entirely within your nature, as is your link to Chaos, and Order through Janus. How could it be any other way?" Mike asked with a grin.

Then he smiled and pointed across the street, "And you two should get going, you're both late for work."

With that Mike was gone, as though he had never been there in the first place.

"I said you were my new Grandfather." The brunette mortal explained.

The ancient Vampire looked at the mortal girl he had met briefly the night before and pondered how she could possibly have come to such an unlikely conclusion. The girl didn't seem insane at first glance. Nor did her acquaintances, all friends of Alexander as he recalled, seem to find such a claim of kinship to be unusual. Rather than try to fathom the mystery of the child's statement however, he instead asked the question at the top of his mind, "Do you know where Alexander is this evening? I was expecting him, and had given Miklos the night off, if I need to call him in I would rather do so now, than wait until we are open and actually have customers awaiting service."

The girl, Faith, if he recalled, glanced towards the door visible through the arch into the room which couldn't be there and shrugged, "They were right behind us, I thought. You want me to go find them?"

LaCroix had no sooner opened his mouth than the door beyond opened, and four people walked briskly through it, appearing to be caught up in an animated discussion of some sort, however despite his quite acute hearing LaCroix could not detect any sound from beyond the impossible arch.

However as Alexander and Cat crossed the threshold into the front room of the apartment, their voices, footsteps, and heartbeats became immediately apparent, proving that it was something to do with the impossible room which had effected his senses and not anything else.

"Alexander, Cat, were you planning on attending to your duties this evening?" LaCroix asked, a little perturbed.

Xander nodded, "Yeah, sorry we're late. There was this demon which attacked, Faith and Buffy were injured. Then afterwards, we had a visit from Mike, you remember him from our wedding?"

LaCroix flinched inwardly at the memory of the Archangel who's very presence had caused himself and the other vampires present pain greater than any holy relic they had ever encountered. "I do believe so. He isn't coming here again, is he?" LaCroix asked with a slight frown.

Xander shook his head, "No. He just wanted to point out we'd exceeded some self-imposed limits regarding what we would do in Sunnydale, and he also provided us with some, interesting information regarding both Faith and Buffy.

LaCroix quirked an eyebrow, then glanced back at the brunette teenager and asked, "Indeed. Would it explain her attempting to claim kinship with me, perhaps?"

Xander frowned at that, "Um, I don't think so. No, he simply confirmed that she's this world's Slayer. Not that we know exactly what that means."

LaCroix turned around once more pinning the girl in question with his full attention. "An actual Slayer? After all this time? How can it be, they died out here long ago."

Faith had looked over as she determined they were talking about her, and was now walking over, the other four kids following silently behind.

"Well, perhaps because she's not from this world. And in her line, the Slayers didn't die out. We didn't ask Mike about that, because we were more distracted by what he told us about Buffy."

Buffy perked up at that, "What? Who are you talking about?"

Xander stepped over to the blonde girl and smiled at her, "He told us why you didn't loose your Empowerment after you drowned and Kendra was Called."

Buffy's face scrunched up and she asked, "Why?" She was never really happy talking about the night she'd drowned. She didn't like thinking about the fact that she had been dead, and would have stayed that way had Angel not brought Xander along to help save her.

Xander smiled, "Well, it turns out you did loose your Empowerment that night. But it was replaced. I'm not sure exactly how, Mike was confusing when he explained it, but you were chosen as a Champion by a single god, and Empowered by them."

Buffy frowned and asked, "Who?"

Cat spoke up softly, "You're not the Slayer, which we all knew. What you are is the Champion of the Undestined God."

Faith recognized the name, and before anyone else could respond simply said, "Damn.", the surprise evident in her voice.

"It's back, Brother." The female Oracle said to her brother.

"So I note. He has taken the Pretender this time, not that she's any loss. Can you detect the demon Skip?" the male asked.

The female Oracle searched for any trace of their agent, but any time she tried to locate any thread of existence after they last dispatched him to locate Harris and eliminate him, she failed. It was as though, like the Slayer and the Pretender, he had simply ceased to exist, indeed had never existed in the first place.

"You won't find him." A voice spoke from the darkness of their domain.

Both Oracles whirled to meet the unexpected intrusion to their private domain.

They relaxed somewhat as they identified the source, the Archangel Michael, twin brother to Lucifer. They could tell by the glow of his aura which of the two he was however, Michael having a far brighter appearance, due to his constant joy in serving The Creator, unlike his brother's, which was dark and murky due to his own grudging service to the same being.

"What brings you here, Archangel?" the brother asked.

"And without a gift." his sister noted with a frown.

Michael smiled grimly at the pair and said, "Who said I had no gift. Granted, I have not come as a supplicant, so have not come to add a trinket to your collection, but I have nonetheless brought you a gift, one of great value, the gift of knowledge."

The male Oracle scowled, "We are the Oracles. Knowledge is our domain, as is time. What knowledge could you have brought us that we would not already have?"

Mike took a breath and counseled himself to patience. He was here under orders, so he would follow his instructions, despite his preference to simply leave this pair to their arrogant folly. "For one, the knowledge of what happened to your agent, Skip."

The two Oracles simply stood there in their separate pools of light, awaiting the promised information. After a few moments of silence, Mike shrugged and turned away, preparing to leave.

"Halt!" the male commanded imperiously, "You have failed to provide the information you promised."

Mike stopped and turned back to them, a scowl on his face, "You didn't ask for it. You still haven't."

The female tried a softer approach, "Archangel Michael, could you tell us the fate of our agent Skip?"

Mike paused and looked at her, then with a smirk he replied, "I already told you I could. All you need to do is ask."

Silence started to stretch again, before the female sighed and asked, "Please tell us the fate of our agent Skip."

Mike smiled suddenly and muttered, "See, you can be polite if you try. Skip's dead. He attacked the Undestined God, and was destroyed."

The male frowned and demanded, "What is this Undestined God, what is their domain and affiliation? I have never heard of them before."

Mike offered him a smirk, "I thought information was your domain? Looks like your not doing so good there these days. I guess that's why I was sent here to tell you about it. Very well, take careful notes. The domain of the Undestined God is free will. Destiny becomes moot in the presence of the Undestined God. As for affiliation, it has none, although it is related to Chaos and Order, has walked in Heaven and Hell, and generally opposes evil and repression. Death springs from its whim, and even time bows before it. Where it passes, nothing shall be as it would have been, be the changes for the better or the worse, freedom and choice will be unleashed."

The female Oracle asked, "The blockage of our powers in Sunnydale, this is being caused by this Undestined God?"

Mike nodded, "You see through Destiny. Which ceases to exist in the presence of the Undestined God. This makes you blind when you seek to oppose it."

The male spoke, anger in his voice, "It destroyed one of our strongest agents, how can it be eliminated?"

Mike shook his head and replied, "I can't tell you that. But I do have a piece of advice, don't even try to oppose it, because if you do you will be destroyed. None of the Powers can stand against it's wrath, and you would b wise to avoid incurring it."

The male Oracle scowled, "So you advise that we allow a force which seeks to topple all we have built free reign to destroy as it chooses?"

Mike shrugged, "If you want advice, I'd recommend you leave Alexander Harris and those he associates with alone. Not that you're likely to listen. Well, I've delivered my message. I'll go let the Boss know you've been warned." With that Mike turned away once more, and was gone.

The female Oracle looked over at her brother and asked, "What has Harris to do with this, unless he is an agent of this new God?"

The male Oracle shook his head, "He is naught but a lower being, one which has been a thorn in our sides almost since his birth. Almost every plan in which he has come into contact has been damaged almost beyond repair. He needs to be eliminated, regardless of what the Archangel says."

"We need to learn more of this Undestined God, where it came from and what it wants." The female oracle said.

"Fine. You do that. I shall seek to learn what Harris has done to our plans this time." The male grumbled.

"Who is the, ooh!" Willow said, her eyes shooting wide as she looked between Xander and Cat. "Is that your official title? I didn't know."

Buffy was starting to get upset. "What? If I'm some stupid god's champion, I should know about it! Who is this god, and where are they?"

Xander grinned at his friend as he softly told her, "We're right here, Buff. It's Cat and I. I mean, I'm Xander, and Cat is Cat, but together we're the Undestined God."

Buffy turned around and looked at her friend. "Um. Ok. How?"

Xander thought about that, translating it as best he could before he answered, "When I brought you back. Apparently this god thing isn't necessarily linear, somehow Cat and I, er, reached back and Empowered you. Or something like that. Mike didn't exactly go into technical details. I suppose we could go and try to find his Boss, Mr. Whoopie is pretty good about explaining things, especially when he uses his blackboard."

Jonathan piped in at that point, "Mr. Whoopie, from those old cartoons with the penguin and the seal?"

"Walrus." Xander replied, then grinned at Jonathan and pointed out, "And don't forget you're in a TV show at the moment, so is going to a cartoon reality really that hard to imagine?"

Jonathan just swallowed, loosing his smirk at that.

"Mr. Whoopie is The Creator?" Giles asked, remembering the TV show from when he was young and would occasionally watch American telly when he was stoned.

"Phinaes J. Whppoie is The Greatest." Xander explained, starting to laugh.

Cat stepped in and added, "Actually, he was an aspect of The Creator. Only an Elder God an Archangel can survive a face to face meeting with The Creator. But apparently he can interact through aspects in some realities. We told you he spoke to us about going to Sunnydale, that it was he who was worried about us causing problems if Xander went home."

Jonathan asked softly, "You mean that wasn't all bullshit about not being able to help?"

Jenny looked at him and sighed, "Apparently not. After you guys left, the Archangel Michael just happened to stop by and point out that in dealing with Skip and then healing both Faith and Buffy that they had exceeded their intended limits on their first night out."

Jonathan frowned, then looked down at his feet, he looked up again and met Amy's eyes and he flushed, then he softly said, "Sorry guys. I, I didn't really think that God would get mad if you were trying to do the right thing."

Xander answered him softly, "He wouldn't. But sometimes what seems like the right thing from one perspective isn't the right thing from another. And in the case of the challenges one meets in life, there has to be the chance of failure for success to have any value. And in some cases, failure means death."

Cat looked a little sad at the thought but shrugged, "But by now you should all know that death does not mean the end. It just means a big change for the one who dies, and a loss for the ones who don't."

LaCroix glanced at his watch and frowned, "That is all well and good, but The Raven is opening in five minutes and the bar has yet to be prepped."

Xander closed his eyes for a moment then looked back at LaCroix and asked, "It hasn't?"

LaCroix frowned and silently turned towards the door, already half suspecting that Xander had somehow managed to do the work despite his absence.

As Xander and Cat followed him out, Buffy walked over to Giles and asked softly, "If, if I'm like Xan's Champion instead of the Slayer, does that mean I still have to patrol?"

Giles frowned as he considered the girl's question. Technically, although the council had no idea of the fact, neither Buffy or Faith fell under their purview any longer, but at the same time he couldn't bring himself to contact them and inform them of the fact, for if they accepted his assertion, they would at best simply withdraw any support for the two supernatural warriors, and Giles couldn't let that happen, although he should inform them in regards to Buffy's status at least prior to the scheduled Cruciamentum. "I would think so. Especially if Cat and Xander are still patrolling. It just means that technically you don't fall under the council's jurisdiction, a fact of which I have yet to inform them, I might mention, as they may recall me for reassignment upon learning they have no duty to provide you with a watcher for support."

Buffy frowned and asked, "What, they'll take you away? Why?"

"Buffy, the Watcher's Council was started to provide support for the Slayer. While they do support several of their own hunter teams, they are not in the habit of providing support for outside factions. I dare say that once they learn you are no longer an actual Slayer, they will have to withdraw all support from you, which includes myself and my resources."

Buffy looked thoughtful, "No more dusty books?" she asked.

Giles shook his head sadly, "No more dusty books."

Buffy pouted, "But no more Watcherly advice either?"

"No more Watcherly advice." Giles confirmed.

"Not fair." Buffy complained. "What about Faith? She's still a Slayer. Won't she need dusty books and a Watcher?"

Giles pursed his lips as he considered, "She is a slayer, but she's not the Council's Slayer, she's a Slayer for another world, this one to be exact. I have to wonder though if there is still a council here, since their Slayer Line has been extinct for so long. It's something to look into later. But as for Faith, I think I can overlook the distinction for now, perhaps lead them to believe your Champion status is a new development, which led to the Calling of the new Slayer in Australia. That way I may perchance be able to remain to provide her with support, at least for the next couple of years." An idle thought passed through his head, and Giles briefly wondered if the Cruciamentum drugs would even have an effect on either girl, seeing as how their Empowerments differed from that of the true Slayer. Would drugs mystically designed to suppress the Slayer Essence work the same on either a Champion or a Slayer with a foreign Essence from the one it had been designed for? If not, perhaps he could allow the girls to accept the test, he'd have to insure that that prat Travers or one of his lackeys administered the drugs, while Xander and Cat monitored for any double crossing on the part of the Council, but if the drugs were ineffectual on the girl, she should have a good shot at passing the test, and continuing to qualify for Council support even after she turned eighteen. He's have to remember to speak confidentially to Xander about it at soon so he could decide what to do. All he was sure of was there was no way he was throwing a handicapped slayer in a cage with a vampire.

"Giles?" Buffy was saying, drawing back his attention.

"Yes? Oh, I'm sorry Buffy, I was distracted by something. What were you saying?" Giles responded.

"I was asking if we could go downstairs. I mean, that is the whole reason we came. Is it ok is we go?" Buffy asked, looking at the still open hallway door, Amy, Jonathan, Willow, and Faith clustered behind her while Jenny was looking at him with an odd expression on her own face.

"Yes. Of course. I don't know however if they will allow you inside, I'm not sure what the rules are for a nightclub in Toronto, I'm afraid." Giles replied.

Faith grinned as she moved out to lead the way down the inside stairs, "Oh, don't worry about that, Jeeves. If anyone gives them any grief, I'm sure I can get my Ma to scare up some IDs for them. Heck, with my folks running the bar, you don't even have to worry about them getting anything they shouldn't to drink."

"I daresay that isn't exactly the attitude a daughter should hold towards their mother, no matter what their ages." Giles commented to Jenny as he watched the teenagers disappear into the hall, leaving the two of them alone in the apartment.

"What, the joyful confidence in her Mother's ability to regulate their ability to consume alcohol, or her apparent expectation that her mother will provide false identification to her friends at need?" Jenny asked with a smile.

"Either one, actually, however it is the second which truly concerns me. I still find it hard to picture Xander as a mature enough adult that he could help raise a teenage girl like Faith. And Cat's appearance doesn't lead to an automatic assumption of maturity either. Put together, I'd be hard pressed to imagine a more unlikely pair to adopt a teenage slayer as their daughter, let alone have any hope of enforcing any discipline and providing for the structured support she will need." Rupert said, looking around the apartment in more than a bit of curiosity. "On another note, I rather like what they've done with this place, the merger of the two locations seems perfectly seamless. Had you even noted the Portal when you crossed it?"

Jenny shook her head, "No, all I detected were some sort of scrying spells, I think to hide the actual portal and provide the two 'windows' on either side. They certainly open up the space though, it feels like a much larger place, one I could call homey even."

Giles nodded, then catching a glimpse of the head in a box, sitting in the open on the coffee table he grimaced to notice it watching him with the most peculiar expression. "Ah, Jenny, that box sitting beside that awful head, please tell me that isn't the Lament Configuration?"

Jenny looked and noted the black and gold box which Lucifer had given to Xander and Cat as a wedding gift sitting next to the transparent box holding the demonic head. "It looks like it. Hadn't we boxed it up in several layers, each warning Xander not to open it until he checked with us?"

Giles nodded, "Apparently he chose to, ignore the warnings."

"We should go speak with him about it while we're here." Jenny said.

"That would be a good idea." Giles agreed. "Plus, it would allow us to maintain a more vigilant watch over our, er, charges."

Jenny smiled and as they turned towards the door themselves she asked, "Would those also include Xander and Cat?"

"I dare say I'd be remiss not to do so, at least for now. Young Alexander has yet to demonstrate that he's changed significantly from the reckless youth I knew him to be prior to his sojourn in Hell, and as for Cat, my impression is that despite her age, she has lead a rather, sheltered, existence up until now. Not to mention what sort of influence extended close contact to Xander could have had on her." Giles replied as he pulled the door closed behind them, neither one of them noting the hand which crawled slowly out from beneath the couch and made its way over to the base of the coffee table.

Faith led her friends, she paused for a moment to consider that thought, but yes, as unusual as it was for her, they were indeed her friends, to 'her' booth, the one she'd claimed the night before which provided some seclusion, but a decent view of the door, the bar, and the rest of the club, with a excellent view of the small stage where the vampire band had preformed.

Cat looked up as they crossed the room, but she continued working with Urs on setting the club up, taking the last of the chairs down off the tables and double checking that every sugar container was topped up with the normal selection.

Behind the bar, Xander was involved in a silent conversation with LaCroix, which even Faith's heightened Slayer hearing couldn't make out.

A few minutes after the teens had settled at the table, LaCroix, with a passing glance at the booth filled with teenagers, made his way to the doors and unlocked them, informally declaring The Raven open for yet another night of business.

He swung over to the kid's table on his way back from the now unlocked door and stopped in front of the unusually crowded booth. "You five are all aware of the unusual nature of most of our clientele, I understand?"

As the kids nodded, Faith said, "Yeah, Gramps, we know. Sunlight challenged liquid diet. We promise not to dust 'em if they don't try to add us to their diets." She said, meeting every one of the Scoobie's eyes to insure they also understood the rules.

LaCroix frowned at the girl's use of the term Gramps, but let it slide for the moment, wanting to insure there would be no problems. "If you interact with my customers, you will be polite, you will also NOT leave this room without first checking with myself, Cat, or Alexander, even to visit the restroom. And I assume you know you will not be served any adult beverages this evening. I am not in the business of providing drinks to minors, indeed, I am only barely in the business of providing drinks for mortals, our primary purpose being to provide a place for the local Community to meet."

The five teenagers all nodded respectfully at him so he turned away, still unsure what to think about the unexpected company Alexander had brought with him. When he'd offered the apartment to the young man, he had believed the occupants would be restricted to Xander and his cat. When Cat turned out not to actually be a cat, LaCroix had decided to accept the situation without comment, after all, there were still the same two occupants, only the nature of one of them had seemingly changed. And he'd decided that first night he really liked having Alexander around.

LaCrois was not particularly pleased with the apparent structural changes wrought on the apartment without his permission however. And he was as yet undecided as to the addition of the rude young lady, who despite the sheer incredulity of the concept, Alexander claimed to be the Slayer. Now the child was bringing her friends to his club. The night before she had almost made a scene, he had been set to intervene when he had spotted a new Enforcer speaking with the young lady, but before he could act, the Enforcer had left on his own for some reason. He was loathe to think what the repercussions of having a small herd of mortals present would be. While the initial reaction of the Community to Alexander and Cat had been one of amused novelty, which had thankfully faded to simple acceptance, he was concerned that the Enforcers would feel the need to respond to such a blatant and worse, escalating violations of The Code. A pair of beings which defiantly weren't mortals, even if they weren't really Vampires either was bad enough, but the simple fact was that both Cat and Alexander had so much basic power that no vampire, or even any reasonable group of vampires could pose a serious challenge to them. But the children they had brought here, they would not be as easily protected.

He made a mental note to keep a close eye on things this evening. He would use a taped show for his broadcast tonight, he decided. If nothing else, the events should prove, interesting.

Cat came by and gave each of the kids a sipper cup filled with their choice of soda, each closed glass clinking with ice, and Faith grinned as she made a mental bet on how long it would take the Scoobies to notice that the glasses remained filled no matter how much they each drank.

She also took orders for food, most of the kids opting for pizza, and soon the table was piled with plates as the official 'Not Dead' party got underway.

Xander looked up as a concerned looking Giles followed by a worried looking Jenny came through the door from the back.

He glanced across the just-opened, yet still empty club towards the table occupied by the kids, wondering if somehow they had done something already to cause such an expression on Giles's face, but they seemed happy, still eagerly chowing down on the food Cat had made for them.

"What's up G-Man, can I get you two a drink or something?" he asked as Rupert came up to his spot at the bar.

"No thank you, Xander, we were concerned why you not only opened, but left the Lament Configuration on the table after we cautioned you of its danger?"

Xander frowned and shook his head, "Uh, what's a Lament Configuration, and when did you caution he about it?"

Giles rolled his eyes and looked over to Jenny for support. "The Lament Configuration is that box the devil gave you and Cat for a wedding present, and we cautioned you on the several boxes it was wrapped up in. We had also meant to leave you a letter, but had forgotten to do so. It is sitting on the coffee table beside that dreadful head you seem so attached to."

Jenny offered a description, "It's the black and gold puzzlebox?"

Xander shook his head, "Haven't even seen it. We haven't had a chance to go through the gifts yet, we only got back last night as you may recall, and after working our shifts here, spent some time discussing Faith, then making plans for dealing with a permanent presence in Sunnydale as well as here, then we got a bit of sleep before making Faith breakfast. After that we've been running around all day today, getting funds, obtaining the building, creating the new parts of the apartment, then meeting with you guys and patrolling." after a few moments of silence he went on, "And Cat hasn't seen it either. Where did you say it was?"

"On your coffee table, next to the box with the devil head inside." Giles repeated.

Xander frowned, then looked around the still empty club. "Ok. Cat's goanna come over and keep an eye on the bar for me for a moment, I'll pop upstairs and check it out, see what it is you're talking about. The only thing I can think is that Faith may have opened it, but I really don't see where she'd have had a chance either, she's been with either Cat or myself pretty much constantly, other than last night when she went up to go to bed while we were still down here working. After I take a look at it, Cat can swing by her table and check with her, just to be sure."

Giles nodded, but before he could start to reply, Xander was literally gone.

Jenny started as the young man vanished into thin air, looking around.

"He'll be right back." Cat said, walking up behind them, a somewhat distracted look on her face as she monitored her husband inside her mind. Suddenly she frowned and murmured a soft "Oh."

Giles exchanged a glance with Jenny before asking, "Oh?"

Cat focused on them completely and said, "I think there may be an explanation."

Xander blinked into existence in the middle of his living room, standing before the coffee table, as he looked for the strange black and gold box Jenny had described to him.

But even as he spotted the box, his attention was diverted by a flash of movement from the top of the much larger, clear box beside it, holding the head he'd sliced off of Lucifer when he'd tried to kill the devil the day of his wedding.

Perched on the flat, clear top of the box rested another remnant of that fight, a severed right hand sliced off shortly before the head.

Thinking quickly, Xander delved into his wife's memories of what exactly she'd done when creating the impenetrable box which housed the detached head, and with a bit of concentration, reversed the process, dissolving the box and allowing the severed hand to fall with a muted slap onto the top of the silently staring head.

As quickly as he could, Xander created a new, slightly larger and more complicated box, using almost all of his available power.

A new, transparent cube came into existence enclosing the silver serving tray, the demonic head on top of it, and the once more moving severed hand, which was falling to the tray in front of the devil's face.

The new, slightly larger box also featured a small silver panel on the bottom right side of the front face, one which contained three buttons. If Xander had created it right, those buttons would allow the box to be sealed completely, blanking out both sound and light from either entering or leaving the box, just preventing sound from leaving, but allowing light to travel both ways, and sound to enter, as the old box had, or allowing both sound and light to travel both ways, allowing one to converse with the head, should they so wish.

Taking in the suddenly satisfied smile on the devil's face as the severed hand busily scratched at its nose, Xander took a final look at the black and gold cube laying on the table beside the devil's head and vanished back to the bar below.

Vashon pushed through the front door of the Raven a bit before seven. While the band didn't have any sets until eight, he liked to get there early to visit with his childe Urs, and make sure everything was set up beforehand. Plus this evening he was accompanied by his recent mortal acquaintance Detective Tracy Vetter, who was planning on spending her night off with him so they could catch up, not having had much time together since Tracy learned Nick's secret a month before at the wedding.

As he stepped into the club, he glanced towards the table where he's seen that girl who Cat and Xander seemed to think was a Slayer night before, and found himself frozen in mid stride, as he took in the fact that the girl, Faith, as he recalled, had apparently decided not only to return, but to bring some friends, three other girls and a boy, all mortals of about her age. This would not be good. This is why they had the Code, after all, to keep mortals from finding out about their kind. And most mortals were incapable of maintaining the secret about vampires.

He must have been standing there longer than he realized, as suddenly Tracy was pushing him forcibly out of her way so she could come the rest of the way into the club.

"Vashon, what's the matter?" Tracy asked, looking at him in concern.

Vashon frowned and nodded towards the booth. "Problems. If any of them are resistors, we're really in trouble."

Tracy followed his gaze, a scowl settling on her face as she noted the booth filled with obvious teenagers. "Are they?" she started to ask.

"No, all mortals." Vashon replied to her half stated question.

"But, they've all got to be underage. How did they get in here in the first place?" Tracy asked, staring at the youths.

"The brunette, I think her name is Faith was here last night. She seemed to already know about us, and she's a Resister. Somehow she even managed to resist an enforcer, I saw him talking to her and then he just left. She must have invited the rest to check the place out or something. I hope she hasn't mentioned Vampires to them, or no matter what she told the enforcer last night, they'll probably kill them all, resistors or not."

Two of the girls, the one he'd met the night before, Faith, and a shorter blonde had turned and were staring at them as though they could hear the conversation despite the distance. Tracy frowned as she watched the girl's expressions changing as he spoke softly to her. "Are you sure they're not vampires?" she asked.

"Positive. We can sense one another, and even from here I can hear five sets of heartbeats coming from that table." He frowned and went on, "In fact, I hear at least ten sets of heartbeats in here at the moment. There's more mortals in the room than vampires!" Vashon explained.

As he said that, both girls who seemed to be listening looked around the room, as though counting, then they both looked at one another and grinned. Vashon noted the action and silently agreed with Tracy, even if the girl's claim the night before of being 'the slayer' was as erroneous as he still thought it had to be despite her ability to identify vampires, whatever she, and apparently her friend, were, they weren't normal humans. Deciding to find out what exactly was going on, he made his way over to the table, Tracy following silently behind him.

The brunette teen grinned as he approached, turning to her friends, "Hey, this is the guy I was telling you guys about, the one from the band." She looked at him and seemed to pause, "Damn, D-Q, I'm sorry, but I've spaced on your name, all I can think is Fashion, and I know that ain't it."

Tracy started giggling behind him as Vashon frowned

Finally Tracy stopped giggling long enough to ask, "DQ?"

The teenager shrugged, " Don Quixote. He's Spanish, really old, and like a gallant knight, tried to save me from the evil vampires last night. Plus, I can't call him Fashion, even if he does dress better than my dad."

Vashon's scowl deepened and he said, "My name is Vashon. Please don't call me Don Quixote. What are you and your friends doing here anyways?"

Faith smiled and nodded at the blonde who had also appeared to have heard them clear across the room earlier, "B and I are celebrating not being dead, as apparently I got killed, and B came damn close earlier tonight. But my folks saved us and fixed us up, thus the party. And I wanted to show the rest of the Scoobs my new crib. And your band."

Tracy frowned, "Your folks?" she asked.

Faith extended her hand, "Cat and the X-Man are my parents." she explained, nodding towards the couple at the bar.

"So are you a goddess?" Tracy asked, thinking back to the wedding a month earlier.

There were snorts from the other kids as Faith just grinned and shook her head, "Nah, I'm adopted. I actually just met them yesterday, but they grow on ya fast, like kudsu. I'm the Slayer."

"What, or who is the slayer?" Tracy asked.

"One girl in all the world given the strength and speed to fight vampires and stop the spread of their evil, yada yada yada. Ya want to know the whole scoop, go see the g-man in tweed over by the bar." Faith explained.

Vashon frowned, "That's not quite right, that's just what they said in the stupid movie. Actually, the Slayer was a girl from a special family who policed our kind before the Enforcers. She was stronger and faster than any vampire, but was still a mortal. She had the ability to strip a vampire's powers, leaving them as less than a normal mortal, as they still retained all their weaknesses. If a vampire became a threat to humanity, she would eliminate it, or worse, simply strip it and leave it to die."

One of the other girls, a red-head looked over at Faith and asked, "You can strip a vampire's powers?"

Faith shrugged and replied, "Don't know, Red. If I can, I don't know how." Turning back to Vashon she asked with a grin, "Say, can the Slayer fly like the vamps here can?"

Vashon frowned, what a stupid question, "Not that I know of, I mean, she was just a mortal. As far as I recall, and remember, the Slayers were not only before my time, they were only in Europe, but they were just like any other mortal, just really strong and fast, able to sense and somehow read vampires, able to turn the compulsion back upon a vampire who tried to use it on them, and able to strip a vampire's powers. But doing so didn't give them that vampire's powers. But it doesn't matter, there aren't any more Slayers, they died out almost a thousand years ago."

Faith rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah, well Dad said I'm now your guys Slayer. And X has been straight with me so far, so I believe him." Faith's expression shifted through shock for a moment as she realized that what she said was true, she actually trusted the guy she'd just met the day before. Why and how Cat and Xander had gotten through her defenses so fast and so thoroughly she didn't know, but in just a bit over a day they had completely changed her. Not just how and where she was living physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. She wasn't a scared teenaged dropout living alone in a hotel full of whores and druggies off of money she got from mugging the undead before staking them, instead she was enrolled in school again, living in a caring home, with she had to admit kick-ass parents who actually seemed to give a fuck about her, hell, X had been willing to turn himself into a chick around her if it would make her more comfortable, what other guy would do that even if they could, and she actually had friends. She hadn't realized it before, but at some point the Scoobies had accepted her, and they also seemed to care about her, after all, while this 'not dead' party was for both her and B, it was her who had, she shuddered for a moment as she thought about it, who had died. And Cat had brought her back. And that was the last piece of the construction which totally shifted her reality from her old life to her new life, because that's what this was, a whole new life, and she was a whole new Faith, a better Faith, a Faith who could actually be, happy. What a trip.

The Vampire had said something she realized, and she'd been so lost in her own revelation that she'd totally missed it. "Huh?" she articulated.

Vashon glanced at the blonde chick beside him then looked back at her, "I said didn't you think it might be a bad idea to bring your friends here, even if Xander and Cat are your guardians? You do recall the nature of the clients here, don't you?"

Faith shook her head, "It's cool, DQ. See, they all know the sitch. B used to be the Slayer, but now she's X's and Cat's Champion somehow. Red and Glinda are witches. And Gandolph is an up-and-coming wizard, so none of us are exactly mainstream. As for the old fogies by the bar, Jeeves is a Watcher, and the Pinup Babe is like this kick ass techno-witch, she's the one teaching the mojo to the coven."

Vashon was confused. "Uh, that's nice and all, but you are all still mortal humans. I really don't think that the Enforcers are going to approve of you having a party here."

Tracy spoke up as well, "Not to mention that you're all under aged. They shouldn't even let you in the front door."

Faith rolled her eyes, "Look, Gramps owns the joint, and he said it was cool. We aren't drinking, I mean, how could we, X is running the bar, and Cat is one of the waitresses – I suppose I could ask Blondie to try and run us some drinks, but I doubt she'd get them past X, even if she tried. 'Sides, this isn't about getting wasted, it's about not being dead, and chillin' with friends. If the Cops come around, we'll scare up some IDs and that should take care of it, K?"

Turning back to Vashon she added, "And your babe here's not a Vamp either, so I don't see the problem with my friends."

Vashon frowned, realizing the girl had a point, but a single mortal resistor who had actually been helpful to the Community, such as Tracy or Natalie was one thing, a whole gang of mortal teenagers was another order of magnitude more likely to become a problem. "Yes, Tracy's a mortal, but the local Community also knows her, and that she's helped them out on several occasions. They don't know you, so they won't be as accepting."

Faith shrugged, "Then they can get to know me. And if they don't like it, fuck 'em. As long as my buds and my family are happy, I couldn't give a shit about what anyone else thinks."

Vashon sighed and tried again, "I tried to warn you last night, the Enforcers will kill to protect the community. They will kill any vampire who's actions threaten to disclose us, and they'll certainly kill any mortal who does so. That means if they find out about you and your little friends, you are all dead."

Faith's eyes narrowed and a chill seemed to settle over the area as she said coldly, "Look, I promised my folks not to go around staking the locals here." With a sudden movement of her arm a sharp wooden stake appeared in her hand, revolving swiftly as she twirled it on her fingertips with obvious practiced familiarity, "But if one of 'em tries shit with my buds, I'll dust 'em so fast they won't know what happened. I'm the Slayer, it's what I do, after all."

Vashon blinked at the appearance of weapon in the girl's hand. Something about it was actually painful, like looking at a cross or holy icon. He had no doubt that the piece of wood she was wielding could hurt one of his kind, but only a fledgling could be permanently dispatched with a stake, any vampire more than fifty or sixty years old would revive as soon a it was withdrawn, and some of the really ancient ones, like LaCroix, could probably manage to maintain consciousness even with the thing stuck in their chests. "I don't think you understand. Look, what did the Enforcer say to you last night?"

Faith rolled her eyes and replied, "He said he was goanna take care of me, then take care of you, and tried to tell me to go outside with him, I told him to fuck off, and he left. I told you that last night, remember?"

Vashon frowned, "Yes, but that doesn't make sense. He wouldn't just leave just because he couldn't compel you to go outside with him, unless he went looking for reinforcements. And since he didn't come back last night, he'll probably be back tonight. With, as I said, reinforcements. So it's imperative you and your friends aren't here when they come."

Faith shrugged, "Like I said, they give me shit, I'll take 'em out. They leave me alone, I'll leave them alone, but I sure as shit ain't going anywhere with a sleezeball like him."

Vashon sighed, realizing the futility of this conversation. Perhaps he'd have better luck with the girl's guardians. "Ok, but if they come in and try to kill you all tonight, don't blame me, ok?"

Faith shrugged, "Ok. So, when ya goanna start playing? You guys were wicked cool last night, and with Gandolph here tonight, I plan on getting in some dancing, assuming Glinda will let me borrow him for a bit. And if not, I'll just snag the cutest other guy I can find. I've got to celebrate not bein' dead."

Tracy looked from her friend to the teenager and grinned, "Their first set is in about an hour. And I'm sure we can find someone to dance with you. I think Nick was planning on coming by tonight, he'd mentioned hearing that Xander and Cat were back, and wanting to see them about their disappearing act 'Vegas last month."

Faith frowned, "Who's Nick, is he cute?"

Tracy shrugged, "My partner, and Nat seems to think so, although if those two ever get together it'll be a miracle."

Faith looked speculative for a moment, until Willow touched her on the arm, "Nick's cute. We saw him at the wedding. If you ever saw the show, he's the blonde guy it was all about."

Tracy frowned at that, wondering what show the girl was talking about. She assumed the wedding she mentioned was Xander's and Cat's, perhaps there was a video or something, but why would it center on Nick? Noticing that Vashon was halfway across the club already, heading towards the bar, Tracy just shrugged and with a polite wave at the children turned to catch up with her friend, swerving a bit so as not to bump into a pretty redheaded young woman who had just come into the bar. She failed to notice the scowel the woman turned on her at her passing, nor the frown the woman gave the rest of the bar as she looked around.

LaCroix turned towards the door as he felt the arrival of someone even older than himself.

The new arrival was physically in her mid twenties, with long red hair, and an impressively shaped, yet obviously athletic figure. Her beauty was unusual even for a Vampire, but it was the palpable aura of age and sheer power which drew his attention.

There were very few vampires of his age, and even fewer who were older. Yet this woman felt almost like Xander had the one time he'd dropped whatever it was that hid his vampiric essence.

LaCroix noticed her scowl as Detective Vetter passed her, then he saw her frown deepen a she swept the room, likely at the number of mortal heartbeats present. If she truly was as ancient as she seemed, she would likely find the presence of so many mortals in a supposed vampire club to be entirely unacceptable.

Frowning himself LaCroix moved forward to greet his new guest, hoping to find out the reason for her presence, and forestall any incidents.

Ila frowned as she entered the local Community's main gathering place, a Vampire Club named 'The Raven'.

She had received several reports a month before about supposed disturbances in this place, including some conflicting reports from the local Enforcers, which had led her to reassign several of them over the past month. But after the initial flurry of complaints about several violations of The Code, most of the furor had died down. There were still persistent reports of several mortals who were known to be aware of the Community's existence, including a doctor who apparently had been instrumental in combating some sort of disease a while back. Vampire diseases. Only in the last few years had the world changed so much that such a thing was even conceivable. She was starting to wonder if all her efforts over the past millennia were going to go to waste. She hoped not.

The night before, she had received another set of messages, first notifying her of the return of the two possibly mortal, possibly not, employees of the club, and also a disturbing report of a third mortal, a young girl, who claimed to be a Slayer. It was because of her that she had crossed the world. As soon as the reports reached her the previous day, she had had herself placed in a container and flown to Toronto on a private plane, as swiftly as possible, because the report had to be mistaken. There had been no Slayers in almost a thousand years. She knew this for a fact, because she had followed the Slayers her entire life. After all, they were her family, and the Last Slayer had been one of her direct descendants. A great-granddaughter several generations removed. Of course, most of the Slayers from the last two thousand years had been descended from her, as her line had been one of the most successful of the Slayer lines. Probably because of her and her other kin, who had guarded their successors, aiding them when they could, and eventually forming the Enforcers to take their place after the Last Slayer had fallen.

The reports of a new Slayer were enough to draw her attention all by themselves. But when coupled with the troubling reports out of this city from the month, and even years before, to not come in person would have been unthinkable.

And apparently the reports were correct. For already inside this supposed Vampire Club she detected at least ten mortal heartbeats. A Mortal had practically tripped over her as she came in. There were three Mortals at the bar, as well as a fourth behind it, apparently working. And finally, there was a booth filled with five mortal children, one of whom was probably the supposed Slayer.

Such a flagrant violation of The Code which had stood the Communities well for over three thousand years hadn't been seen since the discovery of the New World, over five hundred years before. Something would have to be done, and she'd have to be the one to do it.

LaCroix forced himself to remain calm as he approached the Ancient Vampiress.

She spoke first, her soft smoky voice holding a faint tinge of a Gaelic accent as she inquired, "General Lucien LaCroix, Elder of Toronto?"

At his silent nod she continued her tone taking on a flat, icy quality which sent actual shivers of wory down his spine, "I am Enforcer Ila. Can you explain the infestation of Mortals in your establishment, and apparent flagrant violations of The Code to me?"

Lucien opened his mouth to explain, but before he could say another word, Ila had started to move towards the bar, where Cat and Xander were quietly discussing something with the two elder Sunnydale mortals. "The man behind the bar, here, in what is supposedly one of OUR establishments is not one of us. Neither are the ones with whom he is speaking. The woman who almost tripped me as I entered, another Mortal. And I am not even counting the five mortal CHILDREN sitting at the table having a pizza party. In my entire three thousand years of existence, I have never seen such a flagrant disregard for the rules which protect our society from destruction. One of your age should be well aware of not only the Code, but of all it's reasons for being."

LaCroix however wasn't even given a chance to reply as she continued to march across the club towards the bar and the group gathered before it.

Vachon had just come up and started a campaign to convince both Cat and himself to order the Scoobies to leave, while LaCroix had been distracted by a powerful feeling vampire who was clearly not happy about something.

Xander looked up as the woman approached and came to a stop before himself and the others. He felt the concern flowing across the faint link he shared with LaCroix, the trace of kinship the two shared, an echo almost of a standard Sire/Childe bond, but not quite. Since Xander had met the elder Vampire the link had slowly, almost imperceptibly strengthened over time. What was more, he could feel the same link stirring within Cat's mind as well, something neither one of them had noticed before. The two echoes of the single faint link seemed to resonate together though, disproportionately strengthening the effects it had upon them both.

Now the vampires was storming up to him and his friends. She looked him over, then turned to examine the others, one at a time, first examining Jenny, then the newly arrived Tracy, followed by Giles, and finally Cat. Turning back to LaCroix, who looked like he was trying to find just the right words for some sort of statement or reply, and demanded, "And why are most of these Mortals children?"

A spike of anger shot through Xander as Cat frowned and cut in to the conversation, "Who are you calling a child?"

The redhead glanced down at Cat dismissively before turning her back on her as she focused her gaze on LaCroix once more. "They will all have to either be killed or brought across tonight. To do otherwise is an inexcusable violation of the rules which have served us for over a thousand years."

Xander was now frowning as well, "Excuse me, but what are you two talking about?"

Sparing him barely a glance the woman continued, "After this mess has been dealt with, I think a full review of this situation and the leadership, both of the local Enforcers who allowed this to happen in the first place, and of this Community in general will be called for, and strict sanctions may need to be considered. I would advise you prepare an argument on you own behalf."

Xander was feeling the chill radiating from his odd link to LaCroix resonating through both Cat's mind and his own, but instead of engendering concern as it was in LaCroix's case, in both of theirs it was generating an almost palpable rage.

Reaching out mentally to his equally annoyed wife for support, Xander tried one last time to interrupt the odd redhead's tirade. "Who are you, and who do you think you are to come in to this place and address LaCroix in such a manner?"

The redhead looked at him scornfully and said, "I am Ila, the chief Enforcer for the Vampire race, and in this case I am the final adjudicator on violations of our Code."

Xander's copies of LaCroix's memories supplied more than enough information to evaluate the situation, and he realized that the events from before his wedding had likely combined with whatever that Enforcer who had pestered Faith the night before had reported, resulting in the arrival of the woman before him. Opening up his senses, he evaluated her on all levels. She was a true Master Vampire, ancient by the standards of their kind, yet somehow even stronger, as all Enforcers had been, then would be normal, even for one of her age. That added strength and greater age made her more than a match for any vampire either himself or LaCroix had ever met. He could understand the reason for LaCroix's concern. But at the same time, here was the top of the pecking order. If he, his family and friends were to ever get comfortable here in Toronto, this was the best opportunity. Grabbing onto that concept, he used it as a point of stability to restrain both his and Cat's raging hostility towards the annoying and pushy vampire. Taking a deep breath he asked, "And by what right are you the final adjudicator?"

The woman frowned, no one had dared challenge her or her sisters since they formed the Enforcers almost a millennia ago. Oh, there had been several challenges to the idea at first, but her and her sisters, along with their childer had been more than able to demonstrate the futility of any resistance. And now she was being questioned by a mortal. It was almost inconceivable. "By the right of tradition, of morality, and responsibility. In my mortal life I was a Slayer, and when the Last Slayer died, it was I and my fellow ex-Slayers who took up the burden of policing our kind to preserve our existence. Due to our heritage, we were the most powerful of our kind, and understood the need to instill restraints that we could avoid becoming targets of the Mortals."

Xander was calming now, Cat having shifted her entire focus to supporting him, almost drawing the rage away from his mind somehow and while not really bottling it up in her own, walling it away so he could concentrate more easily on dealing with the woman in a non-violent way. "So since you were stronger than the others, you got to make the rules?" Xander asked softly.

Giles and Jenny were silent as they watched Xander behave in a way neither one of them would have expected, no sign of the immature teenager they almost expected to see visible to them at all. Even had they had something to add to the conversation their amazement at this totally un-Xander like Xander would likely have held them mute.

Tracy, who had less experience with Xander stepped up to Vachon, and lightly touched his shoulder, not quite following the import of this woman's presence.

For his own part, Vachon was more than a little frightened for his friend, as well as for the children in the booth across the club, this was worse than even his greatest fears. At least the Enforcer had said that the mortals would either be brought across or destroyed, not just killed outright, as was the most expedient solution.

Ila smiled at the child, "We made the rules because they had to be made. We enforced them because we had made them. And this is a violation of those rules. One which MUST end."

Xander looked at her and slowly reached out to brush her mind, not to make any changes or enforce his will, but rather to gauge her intentions and how best to steer her towards his point of view. "I see. But, even you must admit that there are exceptions to every rule. Nothing can be purely black-and-white."

Ila frowned, "There have been some rare exceptions to The Code over the centuries, where a specific Mortal found out about our kind, but was both willing and able to maintain our secrecy, and was more useful to us as a Mortal than they would be as a Vampire." She couldn't help but flash mentally through the exceptions she and her sisters had authorized over the years, some of which she had argued in favor of herself. "The Doctor here, Nancy, is perhaps one of them."

Xander nodded, "Natalie Lambert. Yes, she should be. She saved the Community in this city from a plague, one which had it spread unchecked, could have wiped your kind from the face of the earth. Tracy here is another of those. Her position as Nick's partner allows the two of them to handle any situations with the local law enforcement with discretion."

Ila nodded again, feeling the boy's words resonate with an argument she herself had made several hundred years ago regarding a gendarme in France who knew of their existence, and to protect Ila herself, whom he had married, had helped their Community to become one of the largest and safest of it's time. The large number of vampires here in Toronto was likely a result of the still large Parisian Community which she herself lived in to this day. "A case could be made, yes."

"The rest, they don't count at all." Xander finished.

Ila frowned at that, as did Giles and Jenny. "Why would that be?"

"Because they are not from here. They literally come from another world, and are outside your jurisdiction." Xander tried to explain.

Ila was shocked by the insane stupidity of the child she had been talking with. "You are all Mortals. My jurisdiction covers any Mortals who interact with Vampires. And the code is clear, any Mortals who learn of us must be made to forget. Failing that they must be either brought across, or destroyed. To fail to do so puts the entire Community at risk."

Xander shook his head, "I am not a Mortal. Neither is my wife."

Ila looked the boy up and down. According to the impossible stories she had heard, she knew what he was going to try and claim next, that he was some sort of God. Vampires had religion, one could not be so touched and not know that there was more to the world than the simple life and death experienced by Mortals. If there were no higher powers, Crosses and other Holy Icons would have no power over Vampires. Yet any number of Holy Relics, from any number of religions could damage a Vampire. The Vampire didn't need to be aware of the icon's significance, and the effect wasn't limited to crosses as popular mythology seemed to support, almost any object held at some time as holy could cause a Vampire pain, it was just that crosses were the most common of these objects.

More importantly, as a Slayer, she herself had fought the occasional but very rare Supernatural entity, such as Werewolves, Mages, and the occasional Demon or other evil which preyed upon the Humanity she'd been destined to protect.

But she'd never encountered a God. Mages and delusional Vampires or Mortals claiming to be Gods, yes, but genuine Gods, such as the beings of ancient legend, never. Nor had there been any records referring to the existence of such beings.

And finally, she had been studying the boy since her arrival, and had not detected the slightest hint of any sort of power from him. Which proved that the reports had all been mistaken. "So if you are not Mortals, what are you?"

Xander smiled at her, feeling the 'Win' coming if he could spin this just right. He'd felt her memories flash over her occasional encounters with this world's apparently rare supernatural denizens. He'd felt her go over her memories of the various conflicting reports, some of which claimed he was a Vampire, some a Mortal, and most a God, which at the time hadn't really been true, at least not in his own mind. And he knew that if he could convince her that he was more than he seemed, and genuinely beyond her jurisdiction, he might be able to stretch that immunity to include his companions from Sunnydale, and even more importantly Faith.

With a shrug and a goofy grin he admitted what she knew not to be true, "I'm a God. Alexander Harris, Undestined God and Champion of the Elder God Janus at your service. Call me Xander, and can I pour you a drink?"

Faith looked over at the bar where her new 'rents were talking with the Jeeves and Pinup, along with DQ and his friend, and Gramps and some really old and powerful red-headed vampire hottie who'd just come in. At first she'd thought there might be a problem, but the red-head was laughing at something, so she figured everything was five-by-five.

Turning back to her buds, she snaked the last piece of pizza from B, who had just begun reaching for it and after a celebratory bite just grinned at her friend. "So, ya goanna borrow Gandolf too, or ya goanna pick up some local beefcake to get your groove on with?"

Jonathan frowned, "What, I don't get a say in who I dance with?"

All four girls looked at him and chorused at once, "No."

Slumping into the seat a bit Jonathan realized the error of being the only male amongst a large group of females. Then he smiled, at least they were all hot. And the jocks called him a looser. Idiots.

Ila couldn't help it, as the mortal made his expected declaration of godhood, she burst out laughing at the sheer incredulity of the situation. Slowly regaining her composure, she looked at the other three mortals around her, taking in the older looking man and the dark beauty of the woman beside him, as well as she extremely young looking busty blonde girl. "And these others, I suppose they are gods as well?"

The boy, 'Xander', as he asked to be called shrugged, "Well, my wife is a goddess, has been since birth. She's the daughter of Bast and Janus. The other two, no. Giles is a Watcher, one of those who's sacred duty is to guide and train the Slayer in her duties, and Jenny is an expert in several forms of magic, adapted towards modern life. I believe she calls herself a Techno-pagan."

Shaking her head Ila looked over the supposed Watcher and witch, or whatever, then down at the still frowning blonde girl before meeting Xander's eyes across the bar and asking calmly, "And you can prove all of this?"

Xander shrugged, "Depends on the level of proof you need, but yes. So, we golden?"

Ila shook her head, her mirth slipping away, "I had planned on bringing you across, allowing you to join the Community as Vampires, but I honestly think you believe what you are saying. And an insane vampire is the last thing the Enforcers need to deal with. I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you all."

She was unprepared for what happened next.

In a moment she found a sword at her throat, the edge slicing a good quarter inch into the flesh of her neck as she looked into the cold, suddenly silvery glowing eyes of the man, no, being, before her.

Unlike before, the bartender no longer felt even remotely human to her senses. As a Slayer she'd felt demons before, and knew how they compared to the various vampires she normally encountered these days. She and her fellow former Slayers had retained their sensing ability along with the enhanced strength they inherited from having been Slayers before becoming vampires themselves. And while up until now those senses had shown the man before her as nothing more than a mortal of ambiguous age, but perhaps somewhere around twenty, now the feeling she got from him was almost painful to her esoteric senses. First was his age. He was OLD. Older than her, older than any vampire she had ever met. And strong. The strength of his vampyric presence by far eclipsed that of the most powerful of her kind she had ever encountered, that of the now long gone eldest ex-slayer, the vampire who had counseled her in regards to her choice of giving up her mortal life as a Slayer and becoming one of the very beings she policed. Gail had pointed out that if she allowed her lover of the time, a vampire named Anthony to bring her across, that another Slayer would be called, so it wasn't like the world would be endangered by her choice, but rather, since she herself would continue, although as a Vampire rather than the Slayer, it would be even better protected in the future. Gail had been very old, several thousands of years, so many in fact that she herself had no real idea. But compared to this boy, Gail had been a fledgling child. Suddenly the stories about a Vampire God in Toronto didn't seem as unbelievable as they had a few moments ago.

Xander frowned at the woman before him. He had thought he was doing a pretty good job, talking her around. He could tell she wasn't completely buying his claim of being a God, but at least she'd been listening, and she had agreed with him in regards to Nat and Tracy, which was a good foundation to build on for the others. But he'd been wrong. Since he'd been limiting himself to the flavor of her mind, rather than following her actual thoughts, her apparent decision to simply kill himself and his friends had taken both himself and Cat by surprise. So much so that Cat momentarily lost her grip on their irrational anger towards this woman, and before he knew it, Xander had found himself drawing Kusanagi from the sheath on his back and swinging it in a practiced move to decapitate his foe. It was all he could do to stop be blade from slicing clean through the woman's neck.

At the same time, the careful hold both he and Cat had been keeping over their auras, an almost subconscious act for Xander built from Alexander's centuries of continuously reigning in the effect of his Quickening and taught the evening before to Cat and maintained so that Faith would be comfortable in their presence, slipped, releasing their combined presence in full force.

Together, both Xander and Cat fought to quash the heightened anger brought on by LaCroix's sudden concern as he saw Xander's blade at the neck of conceivably the most influential and important vampire in the world. LaCroix had no idea his own concerns were effecting Xander's actions, his fears generating aggression through the echo of the Sire-Childe bond they technically shouldn't, but nonetheless did share.

Taking a deep breath, Xander forced his voice to remain calm as he asked the suddenly frightened vampire before him, "Are you sure you wouldn't like to reconsider your position?"

Her vision almost swam as she felt the trickle of cold blood flow down her neck and under her collar. Ila was locked into complete immobility as the being before her demanded in a voice devoid of any of the emotion it had shown before, "Are you sure you wouldn't like to reconsider your position?"

Looking into those terrifying glowing silver eyes, so like a vampires, and yet not, she forced herself to take a breath before replying as steadily as she could, "I think there may be grounds for further, investigation."

The man nodded and slid the blade from her neck, glancing at it and somehow making the blood along the black blade vanish as though it had never been there in the first place, before sliding the blade into the scabbard she suddenly realized he'd been wearing on his back the entire time.

"Sorry about that." He said with a faint shrug, "When someone threatens my friends or family though, I tend to loose it sometimes." Turning to the elder vampire by her side he continued, "And LaCroix, please try to calm down. Your concern is engendering an almost uncontrollable aggressive feeling in both myself and Cat, making us want to destroy whatever threatens our Sire."

Ila blinked at that and asked, "Sire?"

Xander nodded, the emotional tones slowly slipping back into his voice as he explained, "I was, er, effected by an avatar of LaCroix. I and my friends do not come from this world, or rather from this Reality. Where we come from everything here is a TV show. In fact, where we come from is almost like a movie you have here. Have you ever seen the film 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer?' that came out a few years ago?"

Ila nodded, her interest had been more than piqued due to the reference to the Slayer, although most of what they said in the movie was wrong, and the pitiful bumpy faced evil vampires almost comical, she'd seen the film several times.

Xander gestured over to the table with the children at it, "The blonde in the middle, that's Buffy. Her first watcher was named Merrick, and she burned down her high school gym to eliminate the vampire who killed him."

Ila looked at the blonde girl quizzically, "She doesn't look like the girl from the movie."

Xander shook his head, "She's not. But the events in the film could have been modeled after her life a few years ago. Before she came to Sunnydale and met myself and Willow, the redhead sitting beside her."

Ila was confused but willing to listen, she realized there was far more going on now than she had been willing to credit before, the sheer power still pouring off the man before her would convince her of that if nothing else.

"After we met Buffy, I ended up having to stake my best friend, he'd been killed and turned the same night we met and learned about the Slayer. The vampires in Sunnydale, they have no souls. They are not people, but rather are demon animated corpses. Very different from the vampires here, who retain most of their humanity. The only things the creatures back home retain are the physical appearance and the memories of the person who was killed to create them. They also burst into dust when you kill them and destroy the demon. Well, one Halloween a mage decided to change people into their costumes, hoping to stir up some fun. I dressed as an Immortal version of myself, based on a TV show. Someone else, I don't know who, dressed as LaCroix, based on another TV show, which centers around his son Nichola. During the course of the evening, my immortal persona was dying, and LaCroix's avatar decided he would make a good Vampire. So he tried to bring me across. But it didn't quite work, there was a bit more involved, but the result was that I became a hybrid, mixing some suppressed traits remaining from a possession with the traits of the Immortal persona, combined with the Vampire LaCroixs Avatar tried to create. So, in a way I am his Childe, although the LaCroix who tried to bring me across comes from a future which will never be here, but a bond exists all the same."

Ila frowned, "So you are a Vampire?"

Xander's silver eyes took on a golden hue, and fangs dropped visibly in his partly open mouth, "Part of my, heritage, I suppose you could say."

"And your, wife?" she asked, looking over at the blonde girl.

She just glared at Ila as Xander shook his head, "In a way. When we married we shared everything we both were. So, I suppose if I was part Vampire, she is now as well. And partly because she was a Goddess, I am now a God, as weird as that is for me to accept. Although the more accurate statement I think is that we together are a God. But it's really hard to explain."

"On a metaphysical level, both Alexander and Cat are the same being, the Undestined God, whatever that exactly is." Giles said, speaking for the first time.

"Ok, maybe not so hard." Xander admitted.

Ila was starting to feel overwhelmed, an experience she hadn't felt in thousands of years. "And you are supposed to be a Watcher? I had a watcher, when I was mortal."

Giles nodded, "I am. I was Buffy's watcher, assigned to replace Merrick, but now I suppose I'm Faith's Watcher, if I'm anyone's. Is there still an active Council here?"

Ila shook her head, "No, they were destroyed shortly before the Last Slayer was called. She avenged them though, and saved the world in doing so, but then she lost her life, and there was no Slayer called after her. Which led us to form the Enforcers, as we saw that without a check, a few insane vampires could lead to the destruction of us all."

Jenny asked, "What happened that there were no more Slayers?"

"There was a group of Demons, one of the last large tribes left in the world, who decided to kill all the humans and take over the planet. But the Slayer has always been the protector of humanity, as well as being the final authority for Vampires. So they sought to destroy the families from which the Slayer was called. At the same time they attacked the Watchers, killing them all. They Slayers fought back, often dying, until finally there was the last one, a young girl barely twelve years old when she was called, the youngest Slayer anyone had ever heard of, in fact. She lasted almost five years, and was the most successful of all time in decimating the Demons. They knew they were losing, so they tried a ceremony which would supposedly open a gateway directly to Hell itself, allowing more Demons to come and wipe out humanity. As the gateway started to form, she slew the last of the demons, despite being mortally wounded at the time, and without the focus, the gate closed back up and faded away. She smiled as she died, and I never felt more proud of one of my descendants as I did of Sara. But after her death, we couldn't find the next Slayer. And in all the time since then, no girl has been Called. In truth, it was the ridiculous report from an Enforcer last night of some girl claiming to be a Slayer which prompted my journey, just on the off chance that it may be true."

Xander's eyes narrowed and his voice was once more chill as he asked, "And what, exactly is your interest in Faith?"

Ila suppressed the urge to shrink back from the man before her as she replied, "If she is really a Slayer? To see that she gets the training and support she needs to do her job. Since the Watcher's were destroyed, someone needs to do it. Also to find out where she came from, and if there's any way to insure that when she eventually falls, that another girl will be able to take her place. I am the last Vampire who had been a Slayer in her mortal life. When I am gone, the strength of the new Enforcers will be significantly lessoned, we learned long ago that while those we Sired were stronger and faster than other Vampires, that our Childer didn't have our ability to read other vampires or to detect demons and other supernatural beings. That was something only ex-Slayers seemed to have. And when our Childer created vampires of their own, the next generation was only slightly stronger and faster than the average, whatever it was of our essence we were able to pass to our offspring that made them better than their fellows seems to be rapidly lost. The result is that when I am gone, the Enforcers will loose their edge, becoming little if any stronger than the ones the are assigned to police, and over time may fail in their mission to protect our kind from discovery through the actions of careless and arrogant vampires. We need the Slayer if we are to survive, and to have a Slayer, we will need her line to continue."

Xander calmed down as it became evident that this vampire wasn't planning on being a threat to his newly adopted daughter. Rather the opposite. In his mind, he felt the waves of anger which Cat had been holding back slowly fading, as both LaCroix calmed himself, and Cat and himself determined that the woman was not really a threat. Already he could feel Cat relaxing under the burden she had assumed as the pressure lessoned. Nodding he answered, "Faith is a Slayer."

Ila looked at him, willing for the moment to take his word, but she couldn't help the query which slipped from her lips, "How?"

Xander shrugged, "As I said, the reality we come from is not the same as this one. Buffy had been the Slayer up until her death a year and a half ago. When she died, another girl named Kendra was called, even though I had brought Buffy back through CPR. What no one knew at the time was that as the Slayer essence left Buffy, it was replaced with an Empowerment as the Champion for the Undestined God. I'm not sure exactly how that happened, but I have it from a really good authority that it did. The Powers Tat Be, a group of supernatural beings in charge of selecting the Slayer in the Sunnydale reality sent their new Slayer, Kendra to kill me, fearing my disruptions of their plans. We fought, and I left her beaten in a graveyard when I limped home to lick my wounds. One of the local Demonic Vampires killed her and Turned her, but the Powers, still wanting me eliminated left the Slayer Spirit within her corpse, enhancing the resulting Vampire to the level that it was a serious threat. When I finally eliminated the vampire Kendra, Faith was Chosen. I brought Faith here last night, and at some point while she was here, the Powers apparently Chose a new Slayer in the Sunnydale reality, and the local Slayer Essence replaced the essence they removed from her. So Faith is now the Slayer for this reality. As far as the Slayer Line goes, I have no clue what would happen were she to die. And I really don't care to find out."

Giles cleared his throat, "Actually, Xander, she already has."

All eyes turned to him as he continued, "Earlier, before Cat revived her, she was dead. At least that's how I understood what the Archangel said to you."

Cat nodded, having calmed down enough to finally speak without going off the handle due to the irrational anger they had been feeling towards the ex-Slayer. "Yeah, she was. I had to pull her back, she would have been gone if I hadn't. But, I didn't feel any other spirits or essences when I did so. I don't know if it's bonded with her soul, or if it wasn't there at the time, but I didn't notice anything other than Faith herself, not that I was really paying attention."

Giles frowned as he took that in, then he asked, "Do you know how an Empowerment works, does it reside separately from the individual, or become a part of them?"

Cat shrugged. "I have no idea. I know most Champions retain their status even after death, until a new one is chosen, but if that's because the essence becomes a part of them or just follows their soul wherever it goes I don't know. No one ever really explained it to me. My Mother has several Champions in various realities, I've met some of them even, but I don't think either of my brothers have ever selected a Champion, and while Xander and I have Buffy, there wasn't anything I did, or even Xander, that we can recall."

Xander was also frowning, as he recalled that night in the cave, "I just wanted her to live. To be my hero again, I couldn't let her go, prophecy or no prophecy. She was so light, so still, and it wasn't right. I gave her CPR while Angel just stood around watching, and finally I felt her move, she took a breath, and then she was back, and everything was right with the world again."

"Somehow, you must have channeled the essence into her while giving her CPR." Jenny observed. "In a way, you did with Buffy what Cat did with Faith tonight, you breathed life back into her and drew her back from Death."

"Yah, but I wasn't anything special back then. It still doesn't make any sense how I could empower her and make her stronger than she'd been before." Xander said.

"I wouldn't say that, Xander. You had already been possessed by the Hyena, and we know that the Primal Spirit never really left you, since it ended up being a catalyst in the change you experienced during Halloween. And even without that, you were always special, how many others would have chosen to aid Buffy in her fight like you did?"

Xander shrugged, "I don't know. But that's not the same thing."

"A lot of magic is symbolic, manipulating a symbol to effect a change elsewhere. And from what Michael said, even though you hadn't met Cat and become what you are, you already existed somehow, so perhaps by breathing life back into Buffy, you breathed in the essence as well." Jenny speculated.

Xander shrugged, "When Janus Choose me as his Champion, I just had a dream. Of course, there was all the craziness of the costume spell at the time, but I really don't think he breathed on me at any point. Or touched me in any way, even."

Giles's eyes widened. "The Bust."

"Excuse me?" Jenny asked, glancing involuntarily down at her own chest.

Giles explained, "When Alexander broke the spell, he was holding the Bust. An empowered bust of Janus, the focus for Ethan's spell. Perhaps that was the point of contact which allowed Janus to select Xander as his Champion. It makes me feel woefully negligent to realize we never really examined the mechanism whereby Xander was chosen to act on Janus's behalf, simply accepting the fact and adapting our structure to include his expanded abilities in our actions to protect Sunnydale."

Ila shook her head, "If I had doubted his claim you were a Watcher before, I couldn't any more. You act so much like my old Watcher it's almost scary. "

Giles looked up, shocked out of his musings to peer into the eyes of the redheaded Vampire. "I beg your pardon?"

"My watcher, before I gave up my calling, he'd been my mentor for all my life, and was like a second father to me. He was the only one who strongly argued against my relationship with Anthony, and after I gave up my calling, he refused to speak with me again, which hurt me deeply. Loosing his friendship was my only regret for leaving my Mortal life behind at the time."

Giles frowned, "I advised Buffy against her liaison with the vampire Angel, but I didn't abandon her, even after her actions broke the curse and released the demon Angelus."

"I thought you said vampires in your world were like the ones from that movie, soulless demons?" Ila asked, glancing across the room towards Buffy with a frown.

"Angel was, is different. He has a soul. As long as he didn't experience a moment of true happiness, he was more like one of your kind of vampires than ours, the demon's desires constrained by his mortal soul. But I suppose because Kendra wasn't causing enough problems, on Buffy's seventeenth birthday, she decided to sleep with him. And she broke the curse, banishing his soul once more, and putting the demon back in charge of the body." Xander explained. "Finally a new curse was placed on him, restoring the soul even as he and Kendra tried to suck our entire world into Hell. I killed Kendra, the soul spell went into effect, and the two of us ended up in Hell instead of the rest of the world."

Ila looked speculatively at him, "You were in Hell?"

Xander grinned and nodded, "The best thing that ever happened to me - it's where I met my wife."

Cat grinned at that and bounced up over the bar top to kiss him before settling back on her feet with a happy smile, all the remaining anger banished by the simple reaffirmation of their love. "Yeah, but don't downplay the years you spent wandering the wastes feeding off of demons and trying to help tortured souls."

Xander shrugged, "It sucked, but it's over with. And considering the prize I got at the end, it really was all worth it." Turning back to the vampires he asked, "So, are we going to have a problem with the Enforcers? I really don't want to have to fight a war or something over my friends. But I am not going to let anyone hurt them."

Ila sobered at the change of subject, looking over first the adults gathered around her, then over at the children at the table, talking about something she couldn't make out at this distance, even with her slayer-enhanced vampire hearing. "What about the other children. You said Buffy was once a Slayer but is now your Champion, and Faith is the current Slayer? What about the other blonde, the redhead, and the boy?"

Xander shrugged, "All from my world, so really not your concern. But to answer your question, they are all three Mages of one caliber or another. Willow and Amy are studying to be witches, and Jonathan is already a somewhat competent wizard, if he can only learn to focus more and avoid distractions."

Ila blinked, the idea of so many magic users in one place almost scaring her. During her tenure as Slayer, she had faced both witches and sorcerers, never a wizard, which was essentially a sorcerer who used his own life force and other naturally occurring sources of energy to power his spells, as opposed to a sorcerer who drew his power from others, usually from unwilling sacrifices. "As long as they don't cause any problems, I will declare that they are exempted from The Code then. But you will be responsible for their conduct. If they spread the knowledge of our kind in this world, I will withdraw any protections. Understood?"

Xander nodded, the last of his own worries and tensions leaving as he heard the answer he'd been hoping for. "Thank you, Enforcer Ila." Looking up he noted several patrons had entered the club, but were staying far away from the bar, likely concerned by the power they felt both rolling off himself and Ila as well. With a mental effort, Xander once more reigned in his signature, suppressing any emissions until on a mystical level he appeared to be no more than any other human.

Ila shook her head and asked, "How do you do that?"

Xander shrugged, "Thousands of years of practice. The Immortal version of myself, created during that costume spell had hidden his quickening so as to avoid conflicts with his fellow Immortals. It was almost a habit with him, and one I adopted. I taught it to Cat the other night, because we were freaking Faith out when we first met her. But I couldn't explain what I do, not with words. It's just a thing, like meditating in a way."

Ila nodded, thinking she understood what he was saying.

"What are you talking about?" Giles asked.

Jenny smiled as she replied, "I think Xander and Cat are hiding their signatures, so that they won't show up on other being's radar. Remember how right after the change, Xander and Buffy practiced his going 'stealth' as they put it?"

Giles nodded, "So you have been hiding your, er, abilities from the vampires here?"

Xander shrugged, "I suppose. I mean, I uncloaked a few times, when I needed to make a point, but yeah, normally I suppress it, it's just a habit."

"Perhaps this is why the young lady here did not believe your claim then, don't you suppose?" Giles asked.

Xander's eyes widened, and he unintentionally scanned Ila's mind for a second, seeing that indeed the reason she had refused to believe Xander's claim was his perfectly normal Mortal feel, even to her Slayer senses. Feeling a need to apologize for some reason he lookedat her and shrugged, "I'm sorry, I hadn't even thought about that as why you didn't believe me."

Ila shrugged, still amazed at the story they had told her. A Mortal from another world, who through a spell became a sort of hybrid vampire, then went to the actual Hell, and eventually became a God. And she'd thought she'd seen it all over the past two thousand years.

"It's ok. I just found it hard to credit the story of your being an actual god."

Xander nodded, then gestured at the crowd of nervous vampires on the other side of the room, "Perhaps we should break this up, let me pour some drinks for the customers, and we can talk more later.

Ila nodded, then turned away from the bar, making her way towards one of the Enforcers she recognized in the milling group of vampires reluctant to approach.

LaCroix turned away as well, heading towards his office, and some of his private stock. The preceding encounter had frayed his ancient nerves more than any incident he could recall, including when Nichola tried to kill him several years before.

Cat, after another quick kiss with Xander, made her way over to Urs to tell her that the bar was indeed open, while Tracy decided to drag Giles and Jenny off to a table to interrogate them about Xander and Cat, and vampires in general, as well as ask them about that TV show she had heard mentioned, leaving Vachon alone with Xander at the bar.

Xander looked at the Spanish vampire and asked, "House special?"

At the vampire's nod, Xander poured him a glass, then turned towards the approaching crowd of vampires, ready to take their orders as well, his immediate attention focused back on work, and away from his adopted daughter and his friends for a time.

The party had slowed through the evening, the three more normal Scoobies tiring after several turns on the dance floor, Buffy and Faith selecting the occasional bemused male Vampire continued to dance, but as the evening wore on, the dark haired Slayer felt the need for some alone time, a surprisingly new desire, considering that up until the day before that was just about all she had, the time she spent hanging out with the others being a rarity.

She also craved a cigarette, a habit she was suddenly feeling guilty about, as she had no idea what her new parents would think when they found out she smoked, but since neither of them seemed to do so, would probably disapprove, and that made her want to quit.

But that was in the future, right at the moment she needed a break, and smoking a cigarette would give her the opportunity to take that break.

Excusing herself from her new buds, she scanned the club looking for the old vampire who owned the joint, figuring telling him she was stepping outside was easier than it would be to tell either of the 'rents.

LaCroix was hanging with that ref-headed vampire with the wicked powerful aura, though nothing like Xan's had been when he'd light up while they were talking earlier.

Pushing through the milling crowd of vampires, and the occasional rare human she crossed the room.

She could hear LaCroix's distinctive, cultured tones softly declare "...accommodation with your organization.".

The babe raised an eyebrow at that, a flicker of her eyes taking in the form of the approaching Slayer and replied something so softly that even Faith's hearing couldn't quite make most of it out over the noise of the club. "...est as soon as possible... ...to know... …sistance is important to her."

Coming to a rest a short distance away to provide an illusion of privacy, she softly cleared her throat so they would know she was there and wanted some attention.

LaCroix turned slowly to face the girl behind him, not having heard her approach, a fact which somewhat surprised him despite the background noise of the club, and asked the girl, "Yes, Faith?"

"You said you wanted to know if we went outside. I'm going out back for a smoke." She replied, nodding towards the door which lead to the back of the club, the offices, and the inside stairs. "I'll just be out back if anyone wants me, K?"

LaCroix frowned slightly at her declaration, "That is a disgusting habit for a lady as young as you are to have already, Faith."

Faith shrugged, "Yeah, well, it was part of the rep, ya know? I'm thinking about quittin', but that in the future. In the now I'm jonsin for a smoke, and some alone time, it's cool havin' buds ta hang with and all, but I need to think about stuff for a bit too, so I'm goanna step out back and chill for a while."

LaCroix nodded, understanding the girl's need for some time by herself, thinking back on the changes the past day had wrought on this child's life, he could well understand her need for quiet contemplation. "Very well. Be careful out there though, I would hate to have to tell Alexander or Cat if anything happened to you."

"Will do, Gramps. See ya." Faith replied with a wave to the red-head, and darted out the door.

"She is an impetous child, I can believe the claim she is a Slayer." Ila said as she watched the girl disappear into the corridor. "If I may ask, why did she refer to you as 'Gramps'?"

LaCroix frowned, "I am unsure. She introduced me to her friends as her grandfather, so I don't believe it is simply a slight against my age, however I do need to correct her lack of respect before it becomes a habit."

"If she really is a Slayer, it may already be too late." Ila commented with a slight chuckle, "I remember one of my descendants, a girl much like this Faith, she was irrepressibly irreverent."

"Well, perhaps we should adjourn to the roof to keep an eye on the young lady." LaCroix recommended with a nod towards the same door the young Slayer had vanished through a few moments before.

Ila looked at the old Roman General for a few moments, evaluating the man before nodding, "Let's."

Faith was kicking it in the alley behind the Raven. Her enhanced senses could still hear the noise from inside the club, a soft undertone to the louder nocturnal sounds of Toronto.

It was chilly outside, far closer to the weather she'd had back in Boston than what she had adapted to lately in Southern California, but nowhere near cold yet.

She exhaled a deep breath filled with spent smoke, watching with her preternaturally sensitive eyes as her gray breath dissipated in the darkness of the unlit alleyway.

She had been reflecting on the past day and the future it promised since stepping out the door. For one thing, she realized she wasn't as jealous of B any more, even if she did have a wicked nice Mom and a cool Watcher and a ton of buds. She was already accepting Cat and X as her 'rents. X was like one of the only straight guys she'd ever met which she didn't think wanted to jump her bones, although she hadn't caught Gramps givin' her the eye yet, but he was really old, if he hadn't been makin' time with that red-headed hottie she'd think maybe he'd just given up on gals. Compared to Mrs. S, Cat was totally lacking in the Mrs. Cleaver skills, at least as far as she could tell, but despite that lack, Faith was sure she was goanna make a wicked cool Mom. Even if Cat could pass for Faith's younger cousin most of the time, Faith knew on an instinctive level that both Cat and X actually cared for her, something she'd only felt once before, with Linda her watcher. And unlike poor Linda, Cat and X were like actual Gods, Kakistos wasn't goanna come along and torture them to death while she was forced to watch.

Putting that event out of her mind, she again considered B and her new Buds. When Faith had first run to Sunny-D, it was 'cause Linda told her to find the other Slayer.

She'd played it cool when she'd hit town, deciding not to let them know how totally scared she was that Kakistos would follow her to the west coast and pick up where he'd left off. But fortunately there'd been no sign of the freakish looking vampire since her arrival. However, she realized with a grin, she wasn't even in that world at the moment. Kakistos and his minions couldn't touch her here. And even if he did show up in Sunnydale, she somehow didn't think he'd be as able to systematically devastate her world as he had back in Boston.

She took a final deep drag of the cigarette as she tried again to figure out how her whole world had changed so much in just a day. It was fucking amazing, the differences were so extreme, but she supposed when dealing with deities that was to be expected. She idly wondered what she'd done that they would actually seem to give a shit about her like they did. She had accepted that they really didn't want anything kinky from her, hell, if they'd wanted shit like that they could have just done it, both X and Cat were wicked powerful. When she first learned she was the Slayer, her first thought was along the lines of "Cool. No one can fuck with me or give me shit anymore." Kakistos had shown her the error of that thought - just because she was stronger and faster then most Vamps, didn't mean there weren't demons out there even stronger and faster than her. Meaning while most thugs and assholes couldn't lay a hand on her without her permission anymore, there were still creatures which could kick her ass, or worse, if they so chose. And she realized that Cat and X were among those, with a vengeance. But they didn't want to kick her ass, instead they seemed to give a shit about that ass, and not in a sexual way like most folks who cared about her ass, but rather, like the parents they'd so swiftly become for her.

And she realized that was why she had latched on to those strangers so swiftly, despite the defenses she'd built up over years of abuse. She'd already known X's home life had sucked from conversations with B, Red, and the rest of the Scoobs. They had all seemed to get a kick out of talking about their missing friend, and she'd spent hours hanging with them listening to their stories, Red especially. So many that she'd almost felt like she knew the guy. But the X she met wasn't the lovable jokester they had described. He was more like a force of nature, a strong, fierce, protective personality which made you believe he'd jump in front of a bullet for you if that's what it took, and he showed a level of maturity which Faith couldn't help looking up to and respecting. Cat was so similar she had no problem believing they were literally the same being on a cosmic scale. Cat was like everything Faith wanted to be when she was growing up, strong, beautiful, intelligent, and caring, with that same fierce protective streak, hell, Cat had literally brought her back to fucking life earlier that evening. What more could be said? So when she considered the two together, she had no problem picturing them as a great pair of parents. The only thing she had a problem with was picturing them as her's. But she wanted them to be hers so damn much it hurt. And even though she had a hard time believing it, they seemed to want her as well for some unfathomable reason.

Faith tossed the stub of the cigarette to the asphalt, smashing it to some fluff and a few shreds of paper with the toe of her boot, when she heard a sound echo through the alley from something moving on top of the building across the way.

Peering up into the darkness, her Slayer senses identified a familiar Vampire signature, the same slimy and off-color aura from that fat Enforcer dude the night before.

She watched as he stepped off the edge of the roof and floated to the ground, coming to rest on the asphault with a slight crunch of gravel.

The Enforcer sneered at her as he said, "I don't know what you did to me last night bitch, but at least you're outside and alone tonight, so I can take care of you as I should have yesterday."

Faith frowned at the vampire, and reached behind her for the Stake Cat had made her, pulling it from her waistband and spinning it across her fingertips in a baton-like twirl. "Look, I promised the 'rents I wouldn't slay the neighbors. Why don't you just go away and leave me the fuck alone?"

The Enforcer sneered and looked at the twirling piece of wood with derision, "What, or you'll hit me with your stick? I'm sorry little girl, but you know about us, and that means you have to die, even if you hadn't humiliated me yesterday, it's my job."

"Your funeral, I'm warning you, I'm the Slayer, and if you try shit, I'm dusting your ass, promise or not." Faith frowned.

Suddenly the Vampire snarled, his eyes flashing a golden color as fangs appeared in his mouth, but to Faith's surprise no Gameface as she expected appeared on him as he lunged forward.

With practiced effortlessness, Faith's stake flashed out to meet the charging Vamp, the point driving it's way smoothly into his chest straight to the heart. The Vampire's eyes widened as he gasped in pain, then reached feebly for his chest before falling over backwards onto the street dead, his body sliding off the stake still held by the shocked Faith.

Faith looked down, watching as the man's aura swirled and ebbed, centering on the wound in his chest, which was slowly closing before Faith's astonished eyes. He hadn't dusted. The fucker hadn't dusted. How could a vampire not dust when you staked them?

Suddenly the body on the ground shuddered the eyes shooting open as he jerked back to life with a pained scream.

Clawing his way back to his feet he glared at the mortal girl before him and ghasped out, "What the fuck was that you bitch? It felt like a fucking cross or something clawing at my heart!" Surging forward towards her again, Faith looked down at the stake and raised it before her, watching as the Vampire shied away from it, like any other vamp would from a cross. Of course, Cat had made it, and it was a Holy Weapon, from the Goddess Cat.

Swinging the stake around again, she plunged it towards his chest once more, but this time he moved with surprising speed, flashing up into the air so her strike merely imbedded itself in his stomach.

He reached out for Faith again, and she released her grip on the weapon, which was actually smoldering in his body, before grabbing both of his grasping hands.

Faith met and countered his inhuman strength with her own, his eyes widening in shock as this seeming mortal girl bested his vampiric abilities. Faith realized that she could do more than see the Vampire's power and age, she could somehow feel it, touch it. Not really understanding how she did so, Faith grasped on the Vampire's strength and power, and pulled it from him.

A core of energy seemed to tug from the body of the man struggling before her, and as it did so, he fell like a dead weight to the ground once more, the wound in his stomach still smoking, but no longer healing.

The Enforcer screamed out in mortal pain at the sudden loss of his strength and power of flight, the wound in his stomach feeling tens of times more painful as the wood embedded in his smoldering body caused mortal damage to his stomach, intestines, and other organs.

Faith bent down and retrieved her stake, wiping the sizzling blood off on his shirt before returning the weapon to it's customary place in her waistband. She stood there looking at the whimpering man, curled into a ball of torment centered around the wound in his stomach.

She was so focused on him that she didn't notice the other two figures landing in the alley behind her until a feminine voice with a hint of an accent asked, "Why don't you finish him off, Lass?"

Startled, Faith whirled around to see LaCroix and the Redhead he'd been talking to earlier standing behind her. "Huh?" she asked with great articulation.

"You stripped his power, Slayer. He won't heal, he is as vulnerable to damage now as any Mortal. And that wound in his stomach is certainly fatal. It would be a mercy to snap his neck and put him out of his misery. Why won't you finish him off?" the woman explained.

"He, he didn't dust." Faith said, as if that explained everything.

"Dust?" LaCroix asked.

"Yeah, when you stake a vamp, they go 'poof' and turn to dust." Faith explained.

Both vampires frowned at the girl before LaCroix replied, "We most certainly do not go 'poof' and turn to dust. We may die, but unless you cremate us, we can potentially recover from just about any damage. Although if we've been stripped of our essence, as that poor creature has, then when we die that'd be it for us, I suppose." He looked at his companion as he said that last.

She nodded, "Yes, once stripped, a vampire can not be revived, no matter who's or how much blood they're exposed to."

LaCroix nodded at this confirmation before glancing at the dying vampire on the ground then meeting Faith's eyes once more and asking, "Really Child, was he so bad that you want him to suffer?"

Faith shuddered and looked down at the screaming creature, watching as it writhed in agony clutching the burnt wreck where it's stomach once was. With a quick motion she shot forward again, drawing the stake and smashing it down into the creature's chest, impaling its heart once more, leaving a smoldering wound behind as she withdrew the stake from the now still body.

Glancing back she was surprised to see looks of approval on the faces of both Vampires. "Happy now?" she asked, feeling a rush of anger at their seeming insistence that she end the other Vampire's life.

LaCroix shrugged, "Not particularly. But it was cruel to leave a mortally wounded enemy to die like that. Why did your stake burn his flesh?"

Faith offered the piece of wood to the two vampires, both of whom edged slightly back from the piece of wood covered in bubbling and smoking blood. "I think it's 'cause Cat made it to be a Holy Weapon, so it's like a cross, only with a point. I think I'll call it 'Cat's Claw', by the way, since B calls the one X gave her 'Xander's Big Point' the asshole there said it was like being clawed in the chest with fire or some shit."

The redhead looked at Faith and said softly, "Lass, do you know you are the first Slayer in almost a thousand years?"

Faith frowned, "Nah, I mean, B was a Slayer, and there was some chick between u, oh, you mean here. Uh, yeah, I'd heard you guys don't have Slayers here anymore. But X said I'm like the slayer for here now somehow."

The redheaded vampire nodded, "I am Ila. I was once The Slayer, before I gave up my calling to be with my lover of the time, a Vampire. Of the Vampires who had been Slayers, I am the last."

Faith looked at the woman before her with new interest, taking in the similarity in her aura and that of the guy she'd just killed. "Um, are you an Enforcer too?"

Ila nodded, "I am the head of the Enforcers."

Faith swallowed, "You aren't pissed I offed your flunky?"

Ila shook her head, "He was tainted. Had I encountered him I would have eliminated him myself. He had allowed himself to become corrupted by his power and position, a failing some Enforcers unfortunately fall in to from time to time."

"Cool. So, we're five-by-five?" Faith asked, bending down over the body once more to wipe her stake off on his clothes before returning it once more to her waistband.

Ila tried to determine what the girl meant as she watched the girl frown down at the body of the vampire she'd just slain, in more ways than one proving herself to the ancient vampire as a true Slayer. Headlights suddenly flashed the length of the alley as a car pulled into it from the far end. Moments later there was a screech of tires as the car came to a sudden halt. A few seconds later a spotlight flashed onto them as a voice spoke over a PA "Freeze, Police!"

Faith glanced down at the body literally at her feet and said the only thing she could think of, "Oh crap!"

As he worked the bar, Xander noted Faith making her way across the club to LaCroix, and after a brief conversation, he watched her duck through the door leading to the apartments, offices, and back alley.

Cat altered her own course to swing by the kids table, just to insure that Faith was ok, while Xander watched as LaCroix and Ila followed Faith through the door a few moments later.

From Cat he knew Faith had just stepped outside for a bit, having claimed to need a smoke. He frowned at the thought of the girl smoking, but realized that it was a habit she'd had before they ever met, and as such was a part of the Faith he and Cat had accepted into their hearts and home. He made a mental note to discus the issue with Cat and make sure that one of them talked about it with Faith, but whoever it was that they didn't present a disapproving countenance in the conversation, just a supportive one and an offer to help her quit, if she wanted.

Xander busied himself serving drinks for the next several minutes, the almost constant demand of the bemused vampires requesting blood based drinks from the seeming mortal who was rumored to be a god of some sort keeping him hopping as it had since his first night on the job. However a sudden spike of concern from LaCroix drew his attention a bit later. It wasn't serious though, just a minor worry, so both he and Cat pushed it aside and continued their tasks.

A while later there seemed to be almost a surge of pride, or at least satisfaction from the Vampire, but it was shortly followed by an almost tangible flash of concern.

Xander frowned as he looked towards the door, then glanced back at the bar full of waiting patrons. Miklos was off tonight, so it was only Xander working the bar normally covered by two, but the sudden surge of concern from LaCroix added to the fact that he knew it somehow involved Faith, made him want to rush out the door, customers be dammed.

Instead he touched his wife's mind, and she agreed, altering her course to swing by Urs, who was working the tables since the band was taking a break, and then she hurried out the door to see what was wrong.

Cat charged out the back door of the Raven, her steps hastened by both the worry she was feeling from LaCroix, and the knowledge that it somehow involved Faith.

She had barely taken three steps outside, when a male voice boomed out "Halt!" at her, and she took in the scene before her.

A police car was in the aley, it's spotlight trained on the trip of LaCroix, Ila, and Faith, while it's headlamps illuminated the apparently dead body of the vampire which had accosted Faith the night before. One police officer had his weapon out and was pointing it in the general direction of the trio, while his partner was now pointing his own gun and shining his flashlight at Cat, having been the one to shout the order at her.

She felt Xander's concern in his mind even as he left his station at the bar and made his way across the room towards Tracy, hoping that the detective might be able to resolve whatever the situation was outside with her fellow officers.

"What's going on?" Cat asked.

"That's what we're trying to find out, young lady. Now, who are you?" the officer asked.

Unthinking Cat nodded at Faith, "I'm Cat, Faith's mother."

Faith shot her a grateful smile, but the officer, frowned, his face easily visible to Cat's eyes despite the flashlight he was still pointing into her own. "Did you say mother? You look more like her little sister." The officer said in confusion.

Cat, realizing that indeed she was wearing her normal appearance slowly raised up a hand to shadow her face a bit as she replied, "Thanks for the compliment, officer, but could you get that light out of my eyes?"

"What are you doing here in the alley?" the second officer asked, "You looked like you were in a bit of a hurry."

Slowly aging her features to look closer to Kitty's than her own normal ones while blocking the light with her hand, creating a shifting shadow which would make it harder for the officers to make out her features from moment to moment she took a chance and even as Xander started talking to Tracy and Vachon inside the club, replied, "I heard about the body my daughter found out here, and was coming out to tell LaCroix that Detective Vetter would be right out after phoning it in, and to let him know we were to make sure no one went close to or touched the body."

Inside the club, Xander was telling Tracy to phone in a body discovered by a teenager living above the club, then asking her to hurry out back and diffuse the situation as best she could, promising a fuller explanation as soon as one could be had, but letting her know the deceased was a vampire.

"Detective Vetter?" the officer closer to Faith and the others asked.

LaCroix answered, "Detective Tracy Vetter, homicide. She's an occasional, patron, of my establishment. I believe it was her night off, but upon hearing of the discovery, I asked my staff to locate her and inform her of the situation, hoping to prevent any, undue media attention."

The officers both looked at LaCroix, then back at the obviously dead body, the scorched holes in it's torso glistening with drying blood in the bluish-white light of the police car's headlamps. "Undue attention, right. You wanted it to go away quietly. Some sort of cover up." The one who had lowered his gun, if not his flashlight from Cat, even as Cat noted Tracy hanging up the phone at the bar and heading down the hallway towards the rear door, Xander returning to the bat to keep attention inside the busy vampire club diverted from the unusual activity in the rear.

LaCroix shook his head, "No, I just wanted to insure that there was a minimum of fuss which may disturb my patrons or interfere with business. "

The officer who had spoken replied in a doubtful, "Yeah, right." Even as the door just behind Cat opened once more to emit Tracy.

The flashlight left Cat's face to shine on the startled detective behind Cat even before the door had swung closed again, the officer again raising his weapon to cover the new arrival, "Stop right there! This is a crime scene." The officer called out.

Cat heard Tract skid to a sudden stop just behind herself as she called out, "It's ok, officer. I'm Detective Vetter, 96th prescient. I was informed a body had been discovered out here. No one said officers were already on the scene though."

Cat glanced back to see Tracy waving her badge in the shifting light provided by the officer's redirected flashlight.

"We just arrived. We were just driving down the alley when we saw the body and these suspects." The officer closer to Faith and the vampires replied.

Tracy frowned, "I don't expect they are suspects. At least not highly placed ones. The girl is the one who found the body, I believe, the gentleman beside her is the owner of the club behind us, the woman before me is both the girl's mother, a resident in an apartment above the club, and an employee there. I don't know about the other woman however."

Another cruiser, lights flashing pulled in from the other end of the alley, turning on it's spotlights and the lights on it's Christmas tree to help illuminate the scene.

With the enhanced lighting, and the loss of shadows, Cat's now older looking visage was clearly visible to the original two officers for the first time, her youthful-yet-middleaged features providing potential credibility towards her claim to being Faith's mother which her initially glimpsed teenaged features had not.

Both officers dismissed the apparent discrepancy in appearance as a trick of the light somehow and focused in on Detective Vetter as the officers in the newly arrived car climbed out, one calling out, "Is there a Detective Vetter here? The radio said she was already on-scene as we were rolling."

With that last bit of confirmation, the initial officers relaxed the rest of the way, reholstering their weapons and moving to secure the area, while Tracy knelt before the body before looking at the teenager and the two vampires with a questioning expression.

Faith moved over to her and said in a soft but watery voice, "He attacked me. I staked him, but he didn't dust. I, I had to kill him. He was just in pain, and gramps pointed out he was going to die."

Cat moved in and hugged Faith, who was obviously shook up before silently telling Tracy, "She snuck out of the apartment for a smoke, and saw the body. She came in the back way and got us. LaCroix and Ila, who was with him came back out while Xander and I looked for you. We found you and I came out to tell LaCroix and Faith to make sure no one touched the body, and that you were on your way as soon as you called it in."

"But what about time of death?" Tracy asked softly after a glance to insure none of the officers on-scene were close enough to overhear.

"He's a vampire. Core temperature should show he's been dead a while. Obviously someone dumped the body here." Cat said with a shrug.

Ila spoke up, for the first time "When they identify him, he'll have a criminal record. Also he just moved to the city and has no visible means of support, but will have made several cash deposits recently."

Tracy nodded. "Ok. I'll go with Faith found the body. You'll have to get the other kids out of the club though, it's late anyhow, send them home, quietly. Have the other couple, Jenny and the British guy take them home."

Cat passed the message to Xander, who left the bar once more to find Rupert and let him know what was happening.

Giles looked up as Xander came up to the booth both himself and Jenny had spent the evening in while listening to the music and keeping an eye on the kids across the club.

"Xander, what's wrong?" Giles asked, seeing the expression on the young man's face as he approached their table.

"Faith had to kill a vampire out back. Problem is they don't dust here, and the cops found her more or less standing over the body. Can you take the gang and head back to Sunnydale? It's really late anyhow, they should all have been home hours ago, especially since tomorrow is a school day."

Giles frowned. He'd forgotten the time difference himself, and grimaced as he looked at his watch, seeing that instead of approaching midnight as the clock on the wall indicated, it was approaching four in the morning, back home. While it wasn't unheard of for patrols to last until two in the morning, four was somewhat pushing things.

Seeing his expression Xander grinned, "No, don't worry about the time, I'll reset the portal, so it'll be about ten thirty when you return. The kids need a good night's sleep, you know. We'll see you guys tomorrow at school though, ok?"

Giles nodded, not quite sure he understood resetting the portal, but acknowledging that if Xander said it was so, then likely it was.

Moving across the club, he approached the table where Buffy, Willow, Amy, and Jonathan awaited Faith's return.

Glancing around the club, Xander literally flashed upstairs to concentrate on the portal. Cat and he had considered this option when setting the portal up in the first place. Time didn't run consistently between realities. Depending on the relative energy and mass levels of a given pair of realities, perceptive parallel periods when viewed from a third reality were incongruent. But a part of the connection between realities involved when coordinates, as well as where. Xander and Cat had designed the portal connecting Toronto and Sunnydale to remain open so that by default perceived time on both ends passed at the same rates. But if no traffic had passed through the portal, the connection could be essentially slid back to any point since the last use. This meant that if no one used the portal, then it could be nudged so that you returned to the reality you left almost right after you, or whoever followed you, left it. It wasn't really time travel, as the time on the opposing end of the portal wasn't realized until it had been experienced by a consciousness bridging the gaps. Xander now took a moment to slide the far end of the tunnel from four in the morning back to about ten the night before, when he and Cat had brought Giles and Jenny through it after their conversation with Michael.

Probing the far end, he was satisfied that the connection was still stable, and so he returned downstairs to the club's bar, appearing under the counter before standing up with a bottle of newly made blood in his hand, to find the next customer and fill their order.

Taking her cue from her Mom, Faith had just finished spinning a line of BS for the cops, about how she came out for a smoke, saw the stiff, ran in and got her Gramps, and brought him back out, while her folks went looking for Blondie. She knew the blonde detective was fully aware of the deception, but wasn't going to stress on it, if the cop was willing to scam her coworkers, Faith didn't think it was any concern of hers.

LaCroix also gave the same story, Faith had come in, concerned about finding an obviously dead body out back, and he'd dispatched her parents while himself and his companion, a police investigator visiting him from Europe had come out back to confirm the report and take charge of the situation until Detective Vetter showed up.

It was a trip to learn that the old vampire chick was some sort of cop for something called Interpol. Apparently it gave her a certain degree of access to crime scenes so she could better direct her Enforcers in tracking down the occasional wayward vamp which threatened to disclose their existence through their actions.

She kind of wanted to hang with the Ila chick, learn what it was like being a Slayer back in the olden days, and find out if the Vamp-crushing was a Slayer thing, or just a kink B and this Ila babe had. She sort of hoped it wasn't a Slayer thing, 'cause the idea of doin' it with a corpse just didn't get her all tingly. Granted, the vamps here seemed much less dead than the demonic vamps back in the Dale, but a vamp was a vamp.

"Very well. I think that covers it for now." The officer said, then waved at Blondie. "Detective, do we need the witnesses for anything else?"

Vetter glanced over at the small party which really knew what had happened out here, and waved her hand in a dismissive gesture, "I'll want to talk to them all later, but they can go for now."

Turning back to them the officer nodded, "Ok, folks you are free to leave. Inspector, how long do you intend to remain in town?"

Glancing over at Faith speculatively she turned back to the Officer and replied, "Oh, several more days at least, then I'll have to head home for a bit, but I'll be back and forth for a while I suspect. If your department needs to get in touch with me to schedule a followup interview, they can contact my office, or let Lucien here know of your need, and he can contact me."

Nodding, he looked at the others, and added, "Please remain available for the next few days, if you have to leave town, be sure to give us contact information in case we have to get ahold of you."

Nodding Cat reached out and placed a supportive arm around Faith's shoulder and gave her a supportive squeeze. "We'll be around. Just phone the apartment if you need us."

The officer nodded and the four turned towards the rear steps leading up to the outside entrance to the apartments.

Faith led the other three up the steps, but once they'd passed through the doors, Cat gave her a solid hug, then whispered into her ear, "I've gotta go, hun. The Band's late for a set, because Urs can't take a break. I need to get back downstairs. You goanna be ok?"

Faith nodded, and Cat gave her a smile and suddenly vanished, leaving the teen alone in the hallway with the two elder Vampires.

"Well, that was, interesting." Ila said, looking between the two.

Finally she setteled her gaze on Faith and asked her, "I have a question though, Faith. Several times this evening I heard you refer to Lucien as either 'Gramps' or your grandfather. Why did you do that?"

Faith's face suddenly looked unsure as she looked between Ila and the suddenly interested expression on LaCroix's face.

"Um, because he is?" Faith asked.

Ila frowned, "How do you figure that? I was under the impression you weren't even from this reality. So how can you be related to Lucien?"

Faith shrugged. "He's a Vampire, right?"

Ila nodded, as did LaCroix.

"Well, vampires don't have kids. But when they turn people into vampires, they call them their Childe. Those are their kids, or the closest they get, being vamps." Faith explained.

Ila nodded again, "Yes. I have often felt a parental pride in the accomplishments of my Chlider. As much so as I had in my actual offspring at times." LaCroix also nodded.

"Well, way I see it, Gramps is X's Sire, or as close to it as anyone will come - it was a version of Gramps who made X all vampy. That makes X Gramp's Clilde. Which makes Gramps X's Sire, or Dad. And since X is my Dad now, that makes Gramps my Grandfather." Suddenly she shot a hopeful look at the male Vampire, "Doesn't it?"

Lucien LaCroix, one time Roman General, survivor of Pompeii, had seen and experienced a lot over his existence. But looking into the hopeful eyes of the Slayer, he realized that ever since he'd first been turned, there was one experience he'd missed above all others. That of watching a young woman grow up. His own daughter, Divia had become his Sire, when she turned him to save him from the volcano. Having become a vampire at a young age, younger even than Faith, she never really grew up, in fact, the changes she did experience led him to kill her almost twenty years later when she tried to use the Sire-Childe bond between them to force him into an incestuous relationship with her.

But here, was a new chance. Granted, Faith was already more woman than child, and in no way was she of his blood. But she really seemed to want to claim him as Kin, and he realized he had no desire to refuse, rather, based on her surprisingly powerful performance earlier that evening when dealing with the moronic Enforcer, he thought she'd make an excellent addition to his family, even if she wasn't a Vampire.

Suddenly he smiled and nodded his head, replying softly "It does indeed. Welcome to the Family, Faith."

The girl grinned and launched herself at him, forcing him to catch her in his arms as she hugged him with enough force to almost be painful to his Vampire physiology, surprised, he found himself hugging her back.

"So Gramps, ya wanna head downstairs to catch some more tunes from the band? I'm sure you have a ton of wicked stories you can share with me and Ila here."

LaCroix frowned as he looked over at his Vampire companion. "Actually, I think it is time for you to go to bed, I believe tomorrow is a school day, isn't it?"

Ila hid a grin as the girl's face fell and she turned towards the apartment. "Yeah, I guess. And I am kinda tired. Fine. I'll see you tomorrow. Ila, ya goanna stick around a bit?"

Ila nodded, "Yes, Child. I would like to speak with you some more, I know you are a Slayer already, however from what I have gleaned, the powers of the Slayer here are different from those of the Slayer where you come from. So perhaps there are some things I can teach you, things you may not yet know. Secrets only an ex-Slayer can share, since the passing of the Watchers."

Faith thought about that for a moment, then nodded, "Yeah, I'd like to hear about what the gig was like back in your day. Compare it to what I've been doin' in the Dale and back home. That'd be cool."

LaCroix nodded, "Then it is settled, Ila will meet with you tomorrow evening."

Faith suddenly had a gleam in her eye, "Say, Gramps, Ila, you wanna go on patrol with me tomorrow night? Head over to the Dale and stake some vamps, crack some demon heads? It'd be fun!"

Ila frowned. In her experience demons were not as common as Faith seemed to think, and it was not a Slayers duty to randomly kill vampires either, rather she should only hunt those who started killing humans. There was always one or two of those in her days, and in the present, there were literally dozens of them, scattered across the globe. More than enough to keep the child busy, but at the same time, it would be interesting to visit another reality, and to see this girl in what was her natural habitat. She looked over to LaCroix for confirmation, raising her eyebrow to signify it was his call.

Lucien looked at his granddaughter, then over at the head Enforcer, seeing the looks of anticipation on both women's faces. Finally he nodded, "Very well, I shall speak with Alexander, and make arrangements to meet you for 'Patrol' tomorrow night."

"Bitchen!" Faith shouted, bouncing up in the air and spinning towards the door. "I'l see ya both tomorrow! G'night!" With that last shout, the girl vanished through the apartment door, pushing it closed behind her as she bounded into the room out of sight.

LaCroix turned to Ila and asked softly, "Are you sure this is such a good idea?"

Ila shrugged, "Good, no. But interesting, certainly. Especially with a child like Faith along, the one thing I'm certain of, it could never be boring."

As he turned to lead his companion down stairs to meet with Alexander and make plans for the following evening, Lucien mused that he tended to agree with her assessment, unfortunately. Whatever the next evening would bring, it certainly wouldn't be boring.

**To be continued in Knight Gallery Chapter 2, "Helloween. II, A Family Affiair."**

_(Title subject to change without notification. Offer void where prohibited.)_


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